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Made in Chelsea S14E12

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Transcript
00:00Now, which of you would like to hear a Christmas tale?
00:07Me!
00:09Very well, very well.
00:12Then let us begin.
00:15It was Christmas Eve in West London.
00:19That sounds ghastly.
00:38We'll just have to find another one.
00:41Don't you guys think I look so nice in this?
00:43I think I look really cute.
00:45And look at this hat.
00:47Does anyone want a photo with me?
00:50Anyone?
00:51No!
00:52Aww!
00:58No!
00:59This is quite possibly the worst storybook I've ever set hands upon.
01:03It's so precious!
01:06Very good, children.
01:08Ah, here we are.
01:12In a far off land, on a cold, dark night.
01:17A star in the east shone beautiful and bright.
01:22Two shepherds gazed into the sky in order to rest for a while.
01:27When a light shone bright, revealing an angel of questionable star.
01:31Yeah, baby.
01:36Proud look?
01:37How you doing, boys?
01:38You good?
01:39Oh, hello.
01:40The angel told them tales of a child born in a stable, urging them to go there as fast as they were able.
01:47Sounds like a bit of a schlep, to be honest.
01:50Oh, shut up, mutton.
01:52The shepherds arrived in search of the trophy, and met three wise men, named Clemmie, Habs, and Sophie.
02:02They were keen to meet the child from prophecy so great, but instead, they discovered a cruel twist of fate.
02:09All right?
02:10Rick Edwards.
02:11Why are you a baby?
02:12The story of the nativity, Sophie.
02:13It's pretty big this time of year.
02:14No, who are my parents?
02:15Oh, Christ.
02:16I don't think you're supposed to take your own name in vain.
02:17We're not exactly delighted ourselves, to be honest.
02:18Yeah, don't be a prick, Rick.
02:19Don't think you should call your own baby a prick.
02:20He's not a baby, he's Rick Edwards.
02:21Is this a joke?
02:22Why are you okay?
02:23Please, please stop there!
02:24Why are you okay?
02:25Because you went out to your point here, so I don't think you should call your own baby a prick.
02:28Is this a joke?
02:29Why are you okay?
02:30Why are you okay?
02:31Why are you okay?
02:32Why are you okay?
02:33Why are you okay?
02:34Why are you okay?
02:35Why are you okay?
02:36Why are you okay?
02:37Why are you okay?
02:38Why are you okay?
02:39Why are you okay?
02:40How fucking long do we have to do all to get here for this?
02:43Oi, oi, everyone calm down.
02:45Fuck this, shice.
02:47I just needed a way of getting you together for the Christmas party.
02:50What?
02:51Why is everyone looking at me?
02:52Sam Prince is the donkey.
02:55Hi, everyone.
02:57The travelers knew the next hour would not be for the Christmas party.
03:03would not be for the faint-hearted as the small baby child uttered let's get this show started
03:10this is your weirdest move yet rick shut up mutton
03:21hello and welcome to this made in chelsea end of season christmas party
03:26it's christmas time there's no need to be afraid unless of course you're a cast member
03:33of made in chelsea in which case be very afraid because over the next hour these pampered prima
03:39donnas will be getting a festive roasting with all the trimmings this series has featured the
03:44usual blue blood some dashing fresh blood and a serious bit of bad blood jamie lang arrived back
03:51in ibiza looking like judge rinder and within five minutes it was all over between him and frankie
03:56it turns out that as well as singing julius can also flamenco dance
04:07it's been a tough time for toff after the drama of chelsea and then going into the celebrity jungle
04:12i'll be honest i could hardly watch when she came face to face with that revolting slimy creature
04:17it's too easy i'm sorry sam i'm no i'm not sorry i'm not sorry alec returned like the ghost of
04:24christmas past to remind us he may not be donald trump level new york but he's still pretty new
04:30york listen i'm an aggressive new yorker if i throw kindness to your way and you reject me i'm gonna
04:34shit on you such a way with words sam thompson's had a series he'll never forget he moved on from tiff
04:41and then moved into his new bachelor pad through it all sam's heart was on his sleeve and under his
04:46sleeve was a weird sort of penis feather tattoo i'd love to say he kept smiling throughout but he
04:52really didn't
05:03i've never seen someone drag their feet so much you have no soles left on your shoes i don't have a
05:07soul anymore there really is no better christmas entertainment than watching the upper classes
05:13squirm so pour yourself a nice glass of sherry and enjoy this lot try and defend their indefensible
05:19behaviour here's what's coming up i get up close and personal with live and digby have you farted in
05:26front of her yet absolutely not and if you did i'd dump him sam and tiff are brought back together for
05:33an awkward reunion hey hi and louise and ryan's cozy christmas is interrupted by a long distance caller
05:42so joining us from new york on the phone it's alec oh yay
05:50this series we've seen some heartbreaking splits but love has also blossomed no more so
05:55than the case of digby and live for as i like to call them div before we chat to them let's savour their
06:01enduring love affair don't go finding a boyfriend now are you joking couldn't even anything worse
06:06what's your name digby i was actually quite nervous coming here i was as well so don't be surprised
06:11wait why were you nervous though well i'm on a date with a beautiful girl so oh thank you he's such a
06:17gentleman yeah you haven't had a gentleman in a while no i haven't then we've been balance i really
06:22yeah no i really really like him have you had sex with him yes yes yeah high-end look at that thing
06:28he is i really like him even my boyfriend yes wait so this is your your first christmas as a couple
06:35this is getting serious what i'm trying to say is like i love you i love you too digby
06:39oh you guys how's it going yeah it's good good uh that's a digby are you the man who has finally
06:51melted the cold heart i like yeah i like i would ice cream because you are because you are i wouldn't say
06:59tamed uh this heartwarming talk actually brings me into a present that i've got for you um and this is
07:07uh a room key because everyone is very keen for you to get a room
07:15and this is why
07:33you're on telly guys
07:34revolting you're not going to snog again are you no i think i think everybody's seen that enough
07:40now um i feel in in this series that i finally got to understand why you're so sex obsessed live
07:47oh right this how far has it gone oh part sex is great good does digby agree that he thinks the sex is
07:57great yeah top notch we're not bonking other people and yeah okay what are you speaking for digby
08:06well i'm hoping i'm speaking for digby no to put it crudely yes we are not bonking anyone else
08:11oh thank god for that so it's not digby it's big d i'm so sorry is that just normal dinner table chat
08:21that goes on at my house all we talk about sex it's a weird one my family's pretty peculiar
08:27a bit awkward isn't it i i've got to say i thought you handled it incredibly well you you came across
08:33being very charming well mannered well adjusted nice gentleman which begs the question what are you
08:40doing on this show it's weird it is weird nice guy i know rarity um and big d are you still if you say
08:52in the the fraudulent stage of the relationship to coin her louise phrase um by that i mean
08:58have you farted in front of her yet absolutely not and if you did i'd dump him no i don't know but
09:05you know sam does that to me what does he do so i'm thoughts in front of me
09:11sam farts all the time these do have they have competitions at home and he's so proud of himself
09:16you ever could hang on you and ryan have competitions surely ryan wins
09:21ryan does it you might be huge he does little high ones oh bless you
09:30unbelievably tight sphincter on the guy just to let you know it happens it will happen get past the ear
09:37mark he will be he'll everywhere trust me um there's quite a lot of people in the room who live has got
09:44with how does that make you feel digby you okay with that i mean it's not everyone i didn't ask you
09:49live i don't know everybody has a pass so okay i think you gotta kind of just like let it slide
09:53i mean you're like i know lives not with anyone else now or doing anything with anyone else now so i
09:57kind of got to look at it a bit i don't know maturely i guess yeah this is what i mean such a nice guy
10:05very reasonable stuff everybody
10:09this series we've heard some classic terms of phrase from a man thief to little bitch boy but two
10:20words are cropped up more than any others they are vegan and sausage live i can confirm you are a
10:26multiple sausage offender which word though got the most air time what do you think oh sausage let's
10:33find out my family opens vegan restaurant sausage vegan sausage vegan sausage vegan vegan vegan vegan
10:51vegan vegan vegan vegan vegan vegan vegan god i hate vegans
10:55There you have it!
11:03Time for a break, but to tide you over,
11:05see if you can identify this merry little cast member.
11:21Welcome back to our end-of-season Christmas party.
11:23We all love a bit of Christmas, but for Ryan, it's Christmas every day.
11:27Oh, ho, ho!
11:29That was Ryan celebrating Christmas in August.
11:31Happy Christmas, mate.
11:33Before the break, we asked you to identify this little Christmas angel.
11:36Any guesses?
11:38That's Frankie.
11:40Fred, we've got Fred or Frankie.
11:42Let's see.
11:44It was Frankie!
11:46What about this one?
11:49It was Louise.
11:51It was Louise.
11:53And finally, this person has once previously claimed he looked exactly the same when he was a baby.
11:59Yeah, that is uncanny.
12:03It's now time to check in with a man who's been in amongst all the drama.
12:11He said he wanted to go on a journey, which he duly did.
12:14Unfortunately, that journey was Sir Helen back.
12:17What are you and Tip? Are you guys together? What's happened?
12:19We're on a break there.
12:20It's the stuff that dreams have made of it.
12:21It's the stuff of dreams.
12:22Are you still planning on, like, coming back together at the end of Ibiza?
12:25Yeah, definitely. I really miss him.
12:27I kind of like bad decisions sometimes.
12:29I like bad decisions too.
12:31Okay, well, he's dating Mimi.
12:35Fuck. You fucked Mimi sober.
12:38We were on a break and I'm on this journey and I am.
12:40Oh, shut up about your fucking journey.
12:42You don't have any journey. You just want to fuck girls and talk about it.
12:46Hi, this is Pablo. This is my friend Harry and Frankie.
12:48Hi, I'm Harry. Nice to be here.
12:49All right, why are you doing this?
12:50You're doing what?
12:51You're doing a fucking great big Spanish cock.
12:55You're not the person I thought you were.
12:57You're not another bloke.
12:58I fucking knows why I dated you for three years. I have no idea.
13:01I 150% don't want to go back there.
13:04I really, really want to be single. I really enjoy it.
13:06I don't mean to be shared a bed.
13:08I don't believe a word you fucking say.
13:11He was trying to get with me.
13:12I am no longer part of your life, Tim.
13:14Why?
13:15I just can't be around him right now.
13:17So I really think I'm going to take a step back for me.
13:19Just get away for a bit.
13:20I've just realised that, like, it's over now.
13:24Like, it's fully over.
13:25And we just took a look on it every single time.
13:27And...
13:28And now she's actually is gone.
13:37Let's see how he's feeling after all that.
13:39It's Sam Thompson!
13:40How are you, Sammy?
13:42All right, buddy.
13:43After seeing that, not great.
13:45Before we...
13:46Before we get stuck in, I do need to show you a clip of a little chat we had back just before the summer.
13:52Oh, no.
13:53It is.
13:54Will you be allowed to hook up with other people?
13:56Yeah.
13:57Yeah.
13:58Yeah.
13:59Is there anyone who would be on the band list?
14:02Yeah.
14:03Like, friends, obviously.
14:04Okay.
14:05Would never be a normal show.
14:06Obviously.
14:07Got that on tape, so...
14:09I feel like I might be playing that back at some point.
14:13I mean, I'm like Nostradamus, Sam.
14:14How do you feel watching that back?
14:15Like being an idiot.
14:16I don't want to say I told you so, Sam.
14:17But I did tell you so, quite clearly.
14:18I can't...
14:19I forgot you actually said that.
14:20Yes, evidently.
14:21You very quickly forgot.
14:22According to Mitten, in Ibiza, no girls were safe on the island.
14:24Fundamentally, did you just think I could get through some ladies here?
14:28It was for more than that, but obviously you're in Ibiza, that is an element, I suppose, of it.
14:33But...
14:34Did you think you might get away with it and Tiff would take you back?
14:37No.
14:38No.
14:39No.
14:40No.
14:41No.
14:42No.
14:43No.
14:44No.
14:45No.
14:46No.
14:47No.
14:48No.
14:49No.
14:50No.
14:51No.
14:52No.
14:54Yeah.
14:55If you've just got with a random girl and not Mimi.
14:58Yeah.
14:59Would that have helped?
15:00I believe so.
15:01If you did get with random girls.
15:02Yeah.
15:03But, I mean, yeah.
15:04It was stupid, I know, it was you, like...
15:07Not to say that you're not lovely.
15:09You are.
15:10It just...
15:11This won't be helping.
15:12Fuck's sake.
15:14I hate the sofa!
15:18What was it that made you suddenly have that quite heartbreaking,
15:22just break down when you were talking to Toph?
15:26I mean, that was the worst moment of my life.
15:27Yeah.
15:27By a long, long way.
15:29But I think the realisation that it was actually over,
15:33I think there'd been times before where I'd pushed the boundary
15:36but never actually believed it was finished.
15:39And to actually know that I'd pushed Tiff too far
15:43was really horrible.
15:45And, you know, when you just sort of, like,
15:47it's the realisation that everything's actually just gone.
15:50You said recently that you don't feel like you can compete
15:53with Jamie or Mitten when it comes to chat with the ladies.
15:58Is that something you've been working on?
16:00I haven't really spoken to that many females.
16:04All right, just jerking off.
16:05Colin?
16:06Jerking off?
16:06A bit.
16:10But, yeah, I don't know.
16:12How many times a day?
16:15You don't even want to know, Ray.
16:17I do.
16:17So, is it double figures?
16:19No.
16:21So you haven't really spoken to Tiff?
16:22Not really, no.
16:23Let's get her up here.
16:24Tiff, come on!
16:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:27How are you?
16:34Good, thank you.
16:35You left midway through the series.
16:38Yeah.
16:38What have you been up to?
16:40I was just in Bali, so I just got back this morning, actually.
16:43Any sort of romantic interests or just enjoy...
16:46Oh, Rick, come on, mate!
16:48Good to find out.
16:49Yeah, fair.
16:50Oh, no, not really.
16:51Sam's been doing some soul-searching, trying to work out what went wrong.
16:55In your view, what was it?
16:58Um...
16:58A.
17:00I think it was just a sort of build-up of things.
17:06Obviously, Ibiza was not great.
17:09And then after that, he went and did Big Brother, but he had, like, some sort of romance with a girl in there.
17:15And I just lost respect for him.
17:17And then when he came out of the house, I thought maybe we could try and make things work.
17:21Then we started arguing, and...
17:24If you hadn't gone on a break, would you still be together?
17:27I can imagine so, yeah.
17:30I don't know.
17:31Ooh.
17:32Come on.
17:34But it was a stupid idea, don't go on a break.
17:37It's not a good idea.
17:38Louise.
17:39Hello.
17:40What do you think?
17:41Was it good that I went on the break?
17:42I remember me and Ryan actually always said, you shouldn't go on the break.
17:47But I always say the same thing.
17:50I really want them to end up together.
17:52I love Tiff so much, and obviously I love and care about my brother a lot.
17:57And we'll just see what happens in the future.
17:59But I don't like to think that anything has to be finite.
18:02You don't give up hope.
18:03How did you feel when you found out that Sam had got rid of your initials and replaced it with a cock?
18:09I was really shocked, actually.
18:10I can't.
18:11I haven't actually seen it.
18:13Oh, go on.
18:13It's well worth a look.
18:15Get your cock out.
18:16Yeah.
18:17Come on.
18:18And this is all good.
18:23It's not a belly.
18:24It's not worth a belly.
18:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:28How much responsibility do you take?
18:33Well, I did the Sam Prince thing, so I can't exactly take all of it.
18:36But I think I'd take a good 80.
18:39What do you want?
18:40I want 90.
18:41Come on.
18:41Go on.
18:41Let's settle on 85.
18:42Oi.
18:43Let's settle on 85.
18:45Yeah.
18:4585%.
18:4685%.
18:4685% responsibility.
18:49Please give it a love to Sam and Tim.
18:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:55There are a few things us mere mortals have in common with these spoiled socialites,
19:02but one thing we all share is a love of eggnog and post-Christmas dinner party games.
19:10I'm just going to dive in. Don't care if it's rude.
19:12Stick it on my head and then I have to guess what it is by asking questions.
19:16I think I've managed to do that.
19:20I want to, like, read it.
19:22Is this a good friend of mine?
19:23Um, was.
19:27Am I a girl?
19:28Yes.
19:29Am I pretty?
19:30Yes.
19:30Is it me?
19:31No.
19:34Am I a musician?
19:37I mean, you like to strum, but not always true.
19:42You're kind of just a bit of a dick.
19:47Okay.
19:48Has mine tried to steal a boyfriend before and succeeded?
19:51Yes.
19:51Am I going to stay with my boyfriend?
19:54If he doesn't bore you.
19:57Is this person funny?
19:59No.
20:01Do I sleep around?
20:04I wish.
20:04She likes eating sausage.
20:07Oh, it's Sophie Herman.
20:08Yeah.
20:09You clearly must know who it is now.
20:12Yes, I do.
20:13So who is it?
20:14Uh, you...
20:15You're fucking useless.
20:17Do I get around?
20:19Out of passion and, you know, good intentions.
20:24Oh, maybe?
20:25Yeah.
20:25I'm now joined on the sofa by two new faces, an old face and a snake with a handsome human face.
20:34It's Habs, Clemmie, Alex and Harry.
20:36Hey, how are you all?
20:38Good.
20:39Good.
20:39Yeah, we're good.
20:40Very well.
20:40Let me start with you, Alex.
20:43Why were you taking things so slowly with Habs?
20:47I just, I wasn't looking for anything too serious and I finally...
20:49I think it was because he wasn't interested.
20:51Hey, hey, hey, hey.
20:52Come on.
20:52You will have your time, Harry.
20:53I mean, I'm here, Harry, let's remember.
20:55I mean, I'm here, Harry, let's remember.
20:55I mean, I'm here, Harry, let's remember.
20:55I'd come out of a relationship, I wasn't looking for anything serious, I was just, you know, having fun and taking it slow.
21:01But, um, other people seem to like to try and push things along and get involved.
21:05Have an opinion.
21:06Um, and Habs, was it frustrating for you?
21:10What, how slow he is?
21:11Yeah.
21:12Not really, I mean, you are pretty sure at making any effort, but I'm recently out of a relationship too, so I wasn't really looking to jump into anything either.
21:23Hmm.
21:23So...
21:24Have you ever met a slower mover?
21:27I think he might be the slowest snail in all the land of snails.
21:30Snail and snake?
21:31Lovely.
21:32Yeah.
21:33Oh, I really won the jackpot there, didn't I?
21:37To be fair, Habs, in a way, you weren't missing out on much.
21:40Here's what happens when you do get asked out on a date by Alex.
21:43Hi, is that, is that Melanie?
21:45Hi, yes, it is.
21:46Hey, it's, um, it's that bumbling mess that you met the other day, uh, when we did the singles workout.
21:51We went...
21:53Sorry, say that again?
21:54Do you remember meeting a guy the other day, we went butt to butt at the singles, at the singles...
22:00We went there, I can't hear you for the life of me.
22:04It's up to me.
22:05It's up to me.
22:06Hi.
22:07Sorry, can you hear me?
22:08Oh, dude, this is awful.
22:09It's, it's Alex.
22:10Did you always expect Harry to try and sneak in and grab a little date from under your nose?
22:25I kind of suspected it.
22:26What was it like being in the middle as these two proud animals fought for you?
22:31Yeah, it wasn't great.
22:35I've got to say, Harry, it was straight from the Harry Barron playbook.
22:39Which is?
22:41Do you ever look back on stuff and feel guilty?
22:44Can you feel guilt?
22:45Do you feel any human emotions?
22:46I mean...
22:47Remorse?
22:48What am I meant to feel guilty about here is, like...
22:50There you go.
22:51So, so, no, then.
22:52So, no.
22:53Interesting.
22:54But you, I mean, you get what you might feel guilty about, no?
22:56It depends on the situation, obviously.
22:57OK, so the situation that we're talking about, do you feel guilty?
23:01Yeah.
23:02I wouldn't say so.
23:03I wouldn't say that...
23:04No.
23:05I don't think so.
23:06Could you see why other people might imagine that you should?
23:08Yeah.
23:09I under...
23:10Yeah, I get that.
23:11OK, so...
23:12OK, baby steps.
23:13Yeah.
23:14And does that slightly make you start to think, hmm, maybe I should feel a little bit guilty?
23:20Go on, mate.
23:21Yeah, go on, then.
23:22It's Christmas.
23:23It's Christmas.
23:24It's Christmas.
23:25That's the girl.
23:26That's great.
23:27That's the girl.
23:28That's great.
23:29That's the girl.
23:30One question, actually, quickly.
23:31Go on, Sam.
23:32Sophie, would you like me to ask you out?
23:34What, as in, ask me out on a date?
23:36No, as in, to be your boyfriend?
23:37Absolutely not.
23:38Oh, wow.
23:39How does that mean filming?
23:41I feel like that.
23:42Wow.
23:43Oh, my God.
23:44Yeah.
23:45Yeah.
23:46That would be...
23:47That would be...
23:48You had a Christmas kiss under the mistletoe and everything, what?
23:50It's just nothing.
23:51No, he's really nice, but that would be way too fast.
23:54Just called him a snail, though.
23:55Sam, you're not at war.
23:56You don't need to be doing this.
23:57Yeah, I've never said I didn't like snail pace.
24:00Big brother has in the next experience.
24:03Um, Clemmie, eventful few weeks for you.
24:07Yeah, just a bit.
24:08Have you forgiven Jamie for using you as a pawn?
24:11Yeah, I mean, I'm not the kind of person to hold a guard forever.
24:14I just kind of have it out a little bit and then move on from it.
24:18Like, there's no...
24:19It's not worth...
24:20Nice and fiery as well.
24:21Yeah, but it's not worth...
24:22Like, he's not worth me being upset over for a long period of time, I don't think, so.
24:26Sure, sure.
24:27Did you, in hindsight, make the wrong choice at the triple date?
24:32Should you have gone for old Sammy?
24:34Yes.
24:35She should have.
24:37Oh, no.
24:38It's clear that both of them still have a bit of baggage.
24:40So, to be honest, they probably just shouldn't have gone with either of them.
24:43So, you still feel that Jamie has feelings for Frankie?
24:46Yeah, totally.
24:47Fair, Frank?
24:48Yeah.
24:49Fair.
24:50Pretty fair.
24:51Thank you very much to Habs, Clemmie, Alex and Harry!
24:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
24:57Now, one of my personal highlights this series was the arrival of an enlightened guru
25:02to guide Jamie through choppy waters.
25:04And I'm very pleased to report that the mystical guru
25:07has graced us with his presence tonight
25:09to offer some much-needed guidance.
25:19Oh, little mitten,
25:21dressed like a lamb,
25:23Godspeed on your quest for the girl with the most hideous fake tan.
25:30Oh, Ryman,
25:31oh, Ryman,
25:33what have you done?
25:35You shoved that New Yorker right up your bum.
25:38LAUGHTER
25:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
25:48Thank you, guru.
25:49Thank you, guru.
25:50Thank you, guru.
25:51Sometimes hard to know when a guru is finished.
25:53That information will take a few minutes to decipher,
25:55so it's the perfect time to take a break.
25:57But don't go anywhere,
25:58as very soon Mark, Francis, Victoria and Sophie
26:01will be naming and shaming the worst-dressed cast members of the series.
26:04See you in a bit.
26:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:07Did you find that slightly uncomfortable to wear?
26:10It looks like cotton.
26:11From New York, on the phone,
26:13it's Alec!
26:14Oh, yay!
26:15Oh, you love him!
26:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:26Welcome back to our end-of-season Christmas party,
26:28featuring the cast of Made in Chelsea.
26:30The drink is flowing,
26:31everyone's in high spirits,
26:32there really is nowhere they'd rather be.
26:35Isn't that right,
26:36Mimi and Charlie?
26:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:39How are you both?
26:42Good.
26:43Very good, thanks.
26:44Been hanging out much recently?
26:45No.
26:46No.
26:47No?
26:48Nothing? Nothing?
26:49That surprises me.
26:50I did see that, though.
26:51I saw in a bar, actually.
26:52It was quite funny.
26:53Did you say hello?
26:54I did.
26:55Do I remember?
26:56Oh, yeah, I was on a date.
26:57Did you say hello?
26:58Oh, great stuff.
26:59Um, yeah, no,
27:00he came to sit right next to me on my date, actually,
27:01and we went to another bar.
27:02That is passive-aggressive.
27:03Well done, mate.
27:05Anyway, yeah.
27:06Is this awkward?
27:07A little bit.
27:08A little bit.
27:09From my sort of point of view on the whole thing is,
27:11she never even spoke to me.
27:12She never even said,
27:13you know, stop messaging me.
27:14Stop the...
27:15But it was...
27:16Oh, okay.
27:17I need to tell you to not try.
27:18No, but you know what, no,
27:19I think the only time...
27:20Could you do it all in her voice, please?
27:21Could you do it all in her voice, please?
27:22I can do everything in her way.
27:23I actually did quite a good impression.
27:25Um, no, it was, you know...
27:28I don't know, it was just a bit...
27:30bit weird.
27:31She felt too keen.
27:32No, I think I felt too keen.
27:33I just wasn't feeling it,
27:34and that's it,
27:35and I don't need...
27:36Which I appreciate.
27:37I don't even need an explanation,
27:38I just...
27:39I stopped feeling it,
27:40and...
27:41And that's that?
27:42That's that, yeah.
27:43You didn't react brilliantly, did you?
27:46I didn't.
27:47Because I...
27:48Can we watch?
27:49Can we watch it?
27:50Yes, we can.
27:51Yes, we can.
27:52I think that, like, romantically right now,
27:53it's not really what I'm looking for.
27:55Are you taking a piss?
27:57I just feel like I've sort of been plagued around a little bit,
27:59maybe.
28:00Oh, my God, Charlie,
28:01you're playing victim right now.
28:02I wish that you could just acknowledge
28:03that I don't see romantically anymore.
28:05No, that's fine.
28:06That's ideally what I would want to do.
28:07I don't really want to be friends with you.
28:08You don't want to be friends?
28:09No.
28:10Okay, well, I guess...
28:11I don't really think I have anything else to say to you, so...
28:14He's a great guy, he's nice, not saying he's a bad person,
28:21it was just like...
28:22You clearly get on really well.
28:23Yeah.
28:24No, no, no.
28:25At the end of the day, actually, we actually do get along quite well.
28:27We actually do get along.
28:28And...
28:29Do you agree or disagree?
28:31I think...
28:32I get along with a lot of you.
28:33I just...
28:34I don't want to...
28:35I'm not like...
28:36No, no, no.
28:37We wouldn't be good as a couple, but we could be friends.
28:39Yeah, because I'm not manipulative and you are,
28:41and I'm quite a nice person, as you say.
28:42Hooray!
28:43Mimi and Charlie, everyone.
28:49Next up, it's time for the very best put-downs of the series.
28:52You literally dropped me in a second.
28:54That's large coming from a little man-thief like yourself.
28:56You're like an angry bear.
28:58Very angry.
28:59You're a fucking average bloke.
29:00I thought you were great, but you're fucking average.
29:02It's a running joke that you're a slut.
29:04No one fucking likes you.
29:05Oh, my God.
29:06You're a fake fucking bloke and you're a fake funny friend.
29:08You're all an idiot as he's going to be bellend.
29:09It sucks that you can't do this for everybody.
29:12It sucks that you fucked my boyfriend.
29:14Just because you're caught out for being a little slimy bastard, Harry.
29:17I didn't breathe your ears because you're Jamie's plus one.
29:19See you later.
29:20Both of you are fucking dark-wrong-uns.
29:23I'm out of this.
29:24Sophie, grow up to fucking 30.
29:26Grow up.
29:27Shut the fuck up.
29:33Christmas is a time for giving, so with that in mind,
29:35we're spending this evening giving our beloved cast a good ribbing
29:38for their pleasure.
29:39Up until now, we've primarily focused on their deep-seated psychological flaws.
29:43But now it's time to turn our attention to more aesthetic failings.
29:47Here to analyse the worst fashion mistakes of the series are three bastions of timeless style.
29:52Mark Francis, Victoria and Sophie.
29:54So, generally speaking, Mark, what do you think of your fellow cast members' style?
30:00I tend not to.
30:02But if you just glanced over to your left now, what do you make of it?
30:07A lot of gifting, a bit of borrowing and a few unfortunate things in between.
30:12Well, there we go.
30:13That was actually kind of than I thought you were going to be.
30:16Mmm.
30:17Let's have a look at our first, well, crime. Fashion crime.
30:24Oh, now.
30:26The leather jacket and cricket jumper combo.
30:29With no shirt, interestingly.
30:31Did you find that slightly uncomfortable to wear?
30:33It looks like cotton.
30:35It was very comfy.
30:36I enjoyed it.
30:37I liked it.
30:38Oh, you did?
30:39You liked that subtle frottage on the nipple.
30:40Yeah.
30:41Loved it.
30:42Loved it, Marky.
30:43Glad to hear it.
30:44Okay.
30:45Next fashion breach.
30:48Is it sponsored by NASA?
30:52On a scale from one to ten, it's a cosmonaut for me.
30:56Ooh.
30:58I would say on this one, it's sort of like a turkey ready to go into the oven.
31:02But it's Christmas Day.
31:03It's the only day of the year where you can get away with that.
31:05But everyone has a turkey.
31:07Next faux pas, please.
31:09My oh my.
31:11This is my favourite, the denim choker.
31:13Don't you rather feel that it's rather as though someone's been run over and the pearl necklace has ended up getting ingrained in the outfit?
31:23I personally like a little bit of Texas bondage.
31:27Oh.
31:28Oh.
31:29Noted, Sophie.
31:30That's very Tom Ford post-Gucci.
31:33Yeah.
31:34But I look really happy, so.
31:36You do look happy.
31:37Of course all that matters.
31:38Of course.
31:39Thank you to our king and queens of style, Mark Francis, Victoria and Sophie.
31:43APPLAUSE
31:44Earlier we had our love in with Liv and Digby, but now it's time for something closer to an autopsy.
31:52It's time to focus on the breakup of Jamie and Frankie.
31:55Let's first remind ourselves of the bad times, the bad times and the worst times.
32:00I'm king of the world!
32:04Woo!
32:05If I said she let's go on a break, what would you say?
32:08Do you want to go on a fucking break?
32:09I don't want to go on a break.
32:10Because I'll shag a lot more than you.
32:12Do you miss him?
32:13I thought I'd like really, really miss him, but I actually found it like really refreshing.
32:17So you want a break out of him?
32:19Yeah, well, I feel like it is heading that way.
32:22If that's what you want, then that's it.
32:24OK, we're done.
32:25We're done.
32:26OK, well then, we're done.
32:30Frankie, James.
32:31Hi.
32:32Nice to meet you.
32:33Shall we go?
32:34Thanks.
32:38Did he have sex?
32:39No.
32:40I can't say anything.
32:41Of course she didn't say that.
32:42You broke my heart.
32:44I know.
32:45You fucked it the first time with Harry.
32:46Frankie.
32:47Could not move on.
32:48Now with James, you're getting involved again.
32:49I made a mistake, all right?
32:51I don't care about you.
32:53I was bad, and I'm sorry.
32:57But I do forgive you.
33:00I love you.
33:06Well, unfortunately, Jamie can't be with us tonight as he is on the other side of the world,
33:11as far away from here as possible.
33:12Frankie is here, though, to navigate us through the bitter split.
33:16Frankie, how are you?
33:18I'm actually really good.
33:19Are you?
33:20Yeah.
33:21You look happy.
33:22I feel good.
33:23Um, is this definitely the end of the road for you two?
33:27I think so, yeah.
33:29You and James, nothing there now?
33:31Um, like, me and James have only been on a few dates, but we do get on really well.
33:37But I just feel like Jamie, obviously, is still very much involved in my life and has made it almost impossible to move on.
33:46Uh, now as I said, Jamie couldn't be here this evening, but we did speak to him before we left the country to get his thoughts on you and the breakup.
33:54Uh, so I thought it might be quite fun to play a bit of ex-mister and missus.
33:59So, Frankie, all you have to do is try and get inside Jamie Lang's shaved head and work out how he answered the following questions.
34:06Okay.
34:07Feeling confident?
34:08Mm-hmm.
34:09Okay.
34:10Question number one.
34:12We asked Jamie, how would you sum up yours and Frankie's relationship?
34:17Did he say, A, like flying first class but then being served prosecco instead of champagne?
34:24B, like owning an Italian sports car, beautiful to look at but totally unreliable?
34:31Or C, like when you get daffodils and they're bright yellow and beautiful, then they die and go brown and crispy?
34:39They're all insults.
34:40They are all insults, yeah.
34:42B.
34:43B.
34:44So, you think B. Let's see if you're right.
34:46You know when you get daffodils, okay, they blossom, they're great, they're beautiful, the yellow.
34:50When they die, they go brown and crispy.
34:52That's our relationship.
34:53Ooh.
34:54That is bleak.
34:56Really, really bleak.
34:58Okay, question number two.
35:00We asked Jamie, what is the most annoying thing about Frankie?
35:04Did he say, A, her constant flirting?
35:08B, she leaves her knickers everywhere.
35:11Or C, her morning breath.
35:13B.
35:14B, you think it's the knickers everywhere?
35:16Yeah.
35:17Let's see if you're right.
35:18Most annoying thing about Frankie, her mess.
35:20She's literally the messiest person in the entire world.
35:23There's like, honestly, knickers everywhere.
35:25It's a joke.
35:26Very good.
35:27Very good.
35:28Okay.
35:29So, putting Jamie to one side for a moment, I think it's time probably to address another person that you've recently had a falling out with.
35:38Liv.
35:39Would you like to join us on the sofa?
35:40Here she comes.
35:41APPLAUSE
35:42Now, you two, what's happened?
35:51You were lovely friends, and now you're not lovely friends.
35:56I think a lot of stuff's happened between Frankie and I. A lot of stuff that we never sort of addressed.
36:02And so I swept it under carpet, and then we finally, like, blew up at each other.
36:05Mm-hmm.
36:06It blew up at the dinner party?
36:07It blew up at the dinner party.
36:08So you'd kind of been bottling stuff up a bit, not talking about it, and then...
36:12But it wasn't really, like...
36:13It wasn't major, major stuff.
36:14It was just, like, loads of small little bits that I think Frankie felt towards me, I'd done wrong, and I'd felt towards her.
36:19Frankie, do you still think that Digby is a bit wet?
36:21Yeah.
36:22No, I think I didn't realise how offensive I think you'd hear that comment.
36:27Can I actually say, Digby's very different to a lot of guys, and I don't think he's wet at all.
36:30I think he's, he's a lot more honest, and he's a lot, he's very sweet.
36:33It's very rare that you meet someone who is just genuinely honest and just charming, basically.
36:38Um, the, the dinner party, were you surprised, Frankie, when Liv...
36:43Yes.
36:44..backed Jamie?
36:46Yes, I was, actually.
36:47Like, you were the one person who I thought would have maybe had my back.
36:52Where do you stand on this, Alex?
36:54I think, I think Liv was just being very upfront about the situation.
36:58I think, Frank, you do sometimes not say it how it is,
37:01and I think Liv was just kind of telling you that you might have been using James.
37:04It kind of did look like that on both parties.
37:06Like, it was obviously, it was obvious for Jamie that he was using Clemmie,
37:09but it kind of looked like you were using James as well, to be honest.
37:15Thoughts, Frankie?
37:16I, honestly, I think that's so unfair, like, so unfair.
37:20Like, I was trying to move on so bad.
37:22And I, I was saying to everyone, I was like, you know what, I feel really bad that I'm okay
37:26and that I'm finally moving on with all these things.
37:28And then for then people to say that I'm using someone to get at Jamie.
37:31Surely you want your friends to move on and be happy and see other people and do all these things?
37:34Yeah, of course.
37:35But everyone forgets that, although she's my friend, I'm still going to tell her if she's wrong.
37:40And I think the reason it, you know, came out how it was,
37:43is that I do feel like I've seen the way you are with Jamie now,
37:45although you're not together.
37:47And you do behave slightly misleadingly towards him.
37:50But, and that's all I sort of meant.
37:52But I don't think that's me being a bad person.
37:54No, but it wasn't me calling him.
37:56I wasn't calling you out saying you're a bad person at all.
37:58Okay, well, just to clear it out, I wasn't using anyone.
38:00I was just trying to move on and be happy on my own.
38:02Speaking of moving on, we're going to move on.
38:05Thank you very much, Liv and Frankie!
38:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:10That is a quick break.
38:11I think the atmosphere in here is, oh, it's poisonous.
38:14When we get back, we'll be getting a visit from Santa Claus
38:16and we'll be chatting to the fittest couple in Chelsea, Louise and Ryan.
38:19Don't go anywhere.
38:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:31All right, now, am I overpaid?
38:33Probably, yeah.
38:34Definitely more than us.
38:35Am I one of those people that thinks I'm really funny but I'm actually not?
38:39Yes.
38:40Am I really smug?
38:41Yeah.
38:42Arrogant?
38:43Yeah.
38:44Insecure?
38:45Probably the root of all the other...
38:46Oh, it's Rick Edwards.
38:48Is it?
38:49Is it?
38:50Yes!
38:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:53That's hurtful because I genuinely thought me and Francis were friends.
38:57We have seen some monumental breakups this series
39:00but one couple have remained steadfast through testing times
39:03proving beyond doubt that a couple who work out together
39:06really do stay together.
39:07It's Louise and Ryan!
39:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:11How are you both?
39:12Good?
39:13Not too bad, yeah.
39:14Happy to be here.
39:15Both are good for?
39:16I'm not going to get grilled.
39:17Don't think you're going to get much of a grilling?
39:18No sweat patches this time.
39:19I love it when you get sweaty, though.
39:21You were actually responsible, Louise, for one of my favourite quotes
39:25of the series which was, of course, this.
39:28I've never tried to have sex with anyone in my life.
39:30It just happens.
39:31Like, they just want to have sex with me.
39:33LAUGHTER
39:34That is so arrogant.
39:35Confidence.
39:36It's so great confidence, though.
39:37It's true, though.
39:38I like it.
39:39That's the thing.
39:40You're not even taking it back.
39:41Like, it's so arrogant, but it's true.
39:43Maybe I just date really, like, horny guys.
39:46Ryan?
39:47Sorry.
39:48I know.
39:49We really don't want to talk about the exes.
39:50LAUGHTER
39:51The horny exes.
39:52Right.
39:53Um, how is everything in that department?
39:55Got your mojos back?
39:56We have, yeah.
39:57In a big way.
39:58Oh, wow.
39:59OK.
40:00Good stuff.
40:01Reviewing.
40:02Uh, now, we do obviously need to talk about the elephant in the room.
40:07Alec.
40:08How are you feeling now about the whole situation, Ryan?
40:11It was all put to bed there and then on that D-Day, if you want to call it that.
40:16You seem genuinely contrite.
40:18You knew you shouldn't have done that probably.
40:20Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
40:21Yeah, you were really remorseful.
40:22But, you know, all my emotions from that incident, er, they're not so much directed at Alec.
40:27I mean, in my mind, he acted in a very disrespectful way and I didn't take to it kindly.
40:32But all my emotion and all my sort of remorse is angled towards Louise.
40:38Mm.
40:39And, er, you know, thankfully, I've got a real winner in the sense that she stood by me
40:44and she didn't sort of hold any grudges and...
40:47Are you apprehensive about Alec's return in January to the UK?
40:52He was keen to, I think, apologise to me, but I have no...
40:56desire to spend any time with him until he, him and Ryan figure things out.
41:02I just, I don't need to make it any more awkward than it already is.
41:06I don't want to make it any more awkward than it already is, obviously.
41:09And, of course, Alec isn't here today, but seeing as it is Christmas,
41:12I want there to be peace in Chelsea, goodwill to all men.
41:16So, joining us from New York, on the phone, it's Alec!
41:19Oh, yay!
41:21You love it!
41:23Alec, how are you feeling about coming back to the UK in January?
41:27Very excited.
41:29You know, I felt like I needed to make a change, needed to switch professions,
41:33pursue something that makes me happy.
41:35So, couldn't be more excited about coming to London.
41:38In hindsight, mate, do you feel you were slightly provocative when you met Ryan?
41:43I think I'd probably, I mean, you know, it's just part of my nature.
41:47I mean, honestly, it's just kind of who I am, and I guess that's not really an English thing.
41:53I guess it's more of a New York thing, but I could have been more delicate,
41:57but I certainly wasn't expecting the big reaction.
42:01Ryan and Louise are on the sofa.
42:03Do you have any nice Christmas message for them?
42:07Merry Christmas!
42:09Thank you very much for joining us. Enjoy the rest of your Christmas, mate.
42:14Thanks, mate.
42:15Merry Christmas, Alec.
42:17I just don't understand why he would want to move back here, because...
42:24He likes it here!
42:26OK, yeah, who am I to dictate where he lives, but...
42:29everything has changed so much.
42:31All of his friends have changed, everyone has moved on so far.
42:33I think that he thinks that he's going to come back to two years ago.
42:38And it's not the case, but I wish him all the best.
42:42We will see, we will see.
42:43Sam, are you looking forward to Alec coming back?
42:46Er, if he's a little bit more like the Alec I remember, then yeah.
42:51But if he comes back and he's just, like, bullshit again and annoying, then...
42:56No.
42:57Then no.
42:58And, er, you declared your love this season, Brian, with a lovely tattoo.
43:04I did.
43:05He's not a tattoo kind of guy.
43:06No.
43:07He's so innocent and, like...
43:08But happy with it? No regrets?
43:10No, I love it, yeah.
43:11I know some people are a bit like,
43:12Oh, God, you're that guy with the girlfriend's name tattooed on you.
43:16But I love it, and it means a lot to Louise and myself.
43:18In every single scene we did after that, you literally went like this.
43:21He, like, loved getting it out.
43:23Er, are you still refusing to get one?
43:24Yeah.
43:25You know what?
43:26No offence to anybody, but I've never looked at a woman who's got a tattoo and really admired it.
43:31I've never thought, oh, that's so beautiful and stunning.
43:34Yeah, but that's because they haven't got the Rye Man tattooed on your wrist.
43:37LAUGHTER
43:38Um, how thrilled were you with the promise ring?
43:40Thrilled?
43:41Not that thrilled.
43:42It's too big.
43:43Oh, you're not wearing it?
43:45No, no, no.
43:46Erm...
43:47Honestly, it was actually the sweetest thing I've ever received.
43:50And I...
43:51It was actually...
43:52Cos I wanted to give him a promise ring.
43:54Erm, but he got in there first.
43:56And...
43:57Ryan even, like, welled up when he gave it to me.
43:59It was one of the most special moments ever.
44:01It was cute.
44:02Erm, did you secretly want one on the old left hand?
44:06Next year?
44:07So, next year?
44:09Yeah, next year.
44:10OK.
44:11There are deadlines.
44:12I don't know why you're pretending to be so surprised.
44:14Hang on, who's setting the deadlines?
44:16Louise!
44:17Oh, right, OK.
44:18So, please do that for Louisa Ryan!
44:20That was so sweet.
44:21We are nearly at the end of the show, so it's time to have one last look back at a series that really did have it all.
44:28Jimmy!
44:30Only you could have convinced me to come to this island of sin.
44:36I slept in your dirty slatter sheets.
44:40Oh, shut up about your fucking journey!
44:42You don't have any journey.
44:43You just want to fuck girls and talk about it.
44:55Oui, bonjour.
44:56That's not real.
44:59Oh, my God, I'm, like, nervous.
45:01You're like an angry bear.
45:03Very angry.
45:04You just change your fucking tune every week and it's fucking boring.
45:07What are you doing?
45:08It's your worst fucking fault.
45:10I do all my important phone calls from the back.
45:21Well, we're boxers.
45:23What the damn hell is happening here?
45:25I'm speaking from my heart and how I feel.
45:27You were so close to me.
45:30If you want to use somebody else, go and fucking use somebody else.
45:34It looks like a clock!
45:39Now, they may have spent the last few months with each other's throats, throwing shade,
45:48drinks and hissy fits, but underneath it all, they love each other like family.
45:52Am I right, Tiff and Mimi?
45:55OK.
45:56So much so, they've all thrown in a tenner for a special Chelsea secret Santa.
46:01All we need now is a Santa.
46:04Here he comes.
46:07Mary Mithlas.
46:10OK.
46:11Lovely.