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Doctor Odyssey Season 1 Episode 4

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Transcript
00:01We've constructed a paradise here, but the world is still the world.
00:07Defib!
00:08I don't have a pulse.
00:09Max, he's gone.
00:11I spoke to the captain, and if you wanted, if you decided that you would like to be an MD, he will support you for a full scholarship.
00:20He was never real. I was never in love with Avery to begin with.
00:24I think I just heard you give me your inherent blessing. Is it a bad idea?
00:29Sleeping with a subordinate?
00:32All right, you scallywags. The heat's on.
00:36Bets are in. Let's go.
00:39If this were sellers of Catan, I'm telling you, a whole different story.
00:45I'll trade two.
00:46Two, please, Cap.
00:48So, we all jazzed for Wells this week with Bethany Wells.
00:51I had to Zoom with her two weeks ago.
00:53Bethany asked me, the head of housekeeping, to personally wash all the linens in her own special detergent
00:58made from pickled cucumber brine.
01:00Aren't pickled cucumbers just pickles?
01:02This woman is a wellness celebrity. She has no idea about what we do.
01:06And yet, for a week, we give her the keys to the kingdom.
01:09It's like putting a toddler behind a Mack truck and saying happy trails.
01:13Why on earth would we give this woman that much power?
01:16Naive little Dr. Odyssey, there are exactly 10.2 million reasons why.
01:22Instagram follow us.
01:24Her company sponsors this wellness week.
01:27And it's a very public, very big deal, so we kind of have a little balancing act here.
01:33We do our jobs while simultaneously tolerating Bethany's wackadoodle quirks.
01:40Last year, she tried to get me to use corn ethanol to power the ship. Corn.
01:45I tell you, this whole global warming crap is just so overblown.
01:50Global warming is overblown?
01:53Just this week, we were rerouting around a major tropical depression off the coast of Baja.
01:57Tell me, when have we ever had tropical depressions in this time of year?
01:59Well, if the Earth's getting so hot, then you just explained to me why there's eight feet of flippin' snow
02:03last Christmas in my hometown of Doa Jack, Michigan.
02:06Rosie, I'm gonna tell you, you're the best damn engineer that a captain could ever ask for.
02:12And nobody knows this Odyssey better than you.
02:16But on this point, you're dead wrong.
02:18I've been on the seas for the better part of my life and sailed every ocean in every condition.
02:24And I can tell you, from my experience, this isn't right.
02:30These storms are stronger, and the hurricane seasons last months longer than they used to.
02:36But speaking of disasters, it's time for the rest of you fools to lose your clothing.
02:41Oh, goodness.
02:43Who's still in?
02:44I'm out like Ellen.
02:49You can smell that thing in Buenaventura.
02:52Uh, yeah.
02:55I'm out, Cap.
02:56You go, me too.
02:58Fold.
02:59But, well, joke's on you.
03:03I'm an exhibitionist.
03:04Ah, there he is.
03:06Well, look.
03:07First, I want to just say thank you for inviting me to the Boys and Butchers card game and buys.
03:12Sorry, Boys, Butchers, and buys.
03:14And in that spirit of inclusion, I would like to say, I'm in.
03:19Really?
03:20Really.
03:21Okay.
03:24Three cowboys.
03:29How rude.
03:30Is the catchphrase of Stephanie Tanner on my favorite sitcom?
03:34Oh, come on.
03:36Come on.
03:37Full House.
03:38Okay.
03:39Hey!
03:40Okay, there we go.
03:41Why not the hat always stays on?
03:53Well, that's game for me.
03:54Well, that's game for me.
03:56Remember this week, chins up.
03:58We can navigate around any rough waters and we can navigate around the peculiarities of Bethany Wells.
04:04So, no tropical depressions, either atmospheric or emotional, are gonna darken our days.
04:10I forecast smiles and smooth sailing and sunny skies.
04:15like a white eye on the main coast.
04:18Good night, Captain.
04:20All right, team. We're entering the first trough.
04:40All right. Brace for impact. Brace!
04:50So, I got a letter yesterday, and, uh, well, I got it. I got the scholarship. Yeah.
05:05That's amazing. Thank you. Oh, congratulations. Thanks.
05:10You're going to be a doctor. You're going to med school. You're leaving.
05:13Yeah, yeah, I guess so. Wow. Man, I'm so happy for you. That's great.
05:17Thank you. That is great. Thank you so much.
05:19Yeah.
05:24Hey, should we? Well, I just wanted to check in and make sure, if you wanted to talk about what happened, but...
05:29Uh, I mean, no, I don't have to talk about what happened. Do you want to talk about what happened?
05:31Oh, no, no, no, then I... No, no, no, no. I'm good. If you're good, I'm good.
05:34Okay. Okay, we're good. Yeah, yeah.
05:35It's good.
05:40Congratulations. I'm really happy for you.
05:42Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
06:03That's Agnes Simpkin. She's an acupuncturist and a psychic. She's helped thousands of people diagnose chronic conditions.
06:09Unbelievable. Why rely on the scientific method when you can just read your patient's palm?
06:13You both really think Western medicine has everything figured out?
06:17Well, all I know is that when I get sick, I go to a doctor for some pills, not a witch for some toadstools.
06:23Taxus brevifolia, a.k.a. the Pacific yew tree.
06:27Its bark contains Paxiltaxel, better known as Taxol, the life-saving chemotherapy drug.
06:31Practitioners were called crazy when they first started using it as a cancer treatment.
06:33Yeah, but maybe for this week we don't use that word. Crazy.
06:56Mi capitán, buenos dias. Muy bueno to be back.
07:00Bienvenida, Bethany. Todo espián.
07:03Oh, look at those sapphire eyes. Oh, you're just so handsome. I came bearing gifts.
07:09That's so nice.
07:10And you get a prize. And you get a prize. You get a prize.
07:14Thank you. And Captain?
07:15Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me one second.
07:20Do you know what this is?
07:23Ozone therapy.
07:25Where does that tube go?
07:27It's for reptile application.
07:28Wellness culture. It's my agony. It's my ecstasy. Sue me.
07:33Avery.
07:33Oh, my radiant daughter. Look at you.
07:37You know, it's time to cut that thing out of your life.
07:40And I know you know what I'm talking about.
07:42Yes, yes.
07:43Until later, everybody. You must be the doctor.
07:47Oh.
07:48Oh, your aura. It's a crimson, bloody shadow.
07:52Hi. Hi.
07:53Sorry. Hi. I'm Kathy.
07:56Can I wait for the Cedar Rapids?
07:58I can't believe it's really you.
07:59I'm crying.
08:01Oh, bless you.
08:03May our tears as carriers of truth blow ceaselessly.
08:08Can I get a selfie?
08:09You better post it, right?
08:10Okay.
08:12Rowan?
08:13Oh.
08:13Rapidale.
08:15Tag B Wells Health and Beauty for 10% off on our onboard store.
08:18Oh, the ship has called to me like a great spirit.
08:48Beckoning.
08:49May she nestle you securely in her mighty bosom.
08:52Oh.
08:53Oh, everyone.
08:54I'd like you to meet my dear, dear friend, Viviet Montgomery,
08:58whom you may recognize if you own a television.
09:01That's right.
09:02Viv is a two-time winner of Red Hot Chef.
09:05And she will be overseeing our cuisine this week.
09:08Oh, her liver carpagio is to die for.
09:11Personal chef to a bunch of smoothie drinkers.
09:14Sweet gig.
09:15Coming from a candy stripe on a cruise ship?
09:17Um, Bethany, what's all this?
09:22Oh, did I forget to tell you?
09:24Oops.
09:25My eye wrangled the doctor for just a squeak.
09:27I just have some tiny micro details to go over just for pesky insurance purposes.
09:32Wrangle away.
09:33You're the best.
09:34My lawyers and nervous ninnies demanded a doctor sign off on some of my cuisine choices.
09:41You know, liability, yada, yada, yada.
09:43You know, I've been on this incredible diet for the past six months, and I've never felt better.
09:47Viv, tell them all about it.
09:49It's organics.
09:50Nature's multivitamin.
09:52They're rich in iron, copper, vitamins A, B, low in cholesterol, and whole protein.
09:58I'll try it.
09:59This is goat liver.
10:01The flavor is smooth, delicate, and it's easily digestible.
10:03Are you asking me to eat that?
10:05Obviously.
10:06No.
10:08Raw meat is filled with bacteria, pathogens, parasites.
10:11Why don't we cook it first?
10:12No, you'll ruin it.
10:13That's the food of our ancestors.
10:15You know, they didn't have expensive lambe pans or fancy polyurethane sous vide bags.
10:21No, they took a raw bite, they chewed, they swallowed, and they thrived.
10:24And they lived to the ripe old age of 22.
10:26You ate sushi, right?
10:27What's the difference?
10:29Come on, Doc.
10:30What are you afraid of?
10:32I'll eat it.
10:33Justin, so nice of you to join us.
10:35Shh, happy to help.
10:38Wow.
10:39That looks...
10:41Looks lovely.
10:44See?
10:45Nothing to be afraid of.
10:47I'm having Vivian include a special course with tonight's dinner.
10:50With your go-ahead, Doctor.
10:51I don't see the harm.
10:52What say you, Doc?
10:55Sure.
10:56But I want a member of my team to oversee the food prep process.
10:59I don't want there to be any cross-contamination.
11:01Justin, you seem to have taken a keen interest.
11:03Oh, yeah, whatever you say.
11:06You hear that?
11:08You're mine.
11:12Deary me.
11:14How are y'all doing?
11:19I'm Judy Riva, the smoothie diva.
11:22And I'm joined today by healer extraordinaire, Agnes Simpkin.
11:26Woo!
11:27Yeah!
11:28Now, organic ingredients mixed properly.
11:31This is nature's medicine.
11:32So I put all the good stuff in one powder.
11:35Diva dust.
11:36Now, this is my proprietary blend of superfoods, minerals, and pre- and probiotics.
11:42And what's in it?
11:43She won't tell me.
11:44She never has.
11:46Well, I can't tell you.
11:48If I tell you that, my lawyers will have you walk the gangplank.
11:51I have a crazy legal team as well.
11:52What I can tell you is that this mixture literally erased my son's dyslexia.
11:59And for me, it cured a terrible case of chronic hiccups.
12:04You know, three years ago, Judy came to me and she said, eat my dust and that very brash
12:08tone of hers.
12:09But I have to say, I'm so glad that I did, really.
12:11Because I start every morning with a Diva Dust smoothie.
12:14And I know it's hard to tell in this tunic, but I'm quite thin.
12:17So the proof is in the pudding, as they say.
12:20Yes, the proof is in the dust.
12:23I have, along with Diva Dust, a couple of incredible ingredients which are not even legal in the U.S.
12:31Including bitter almonds.
12:33These guys have twice the nutrients and way more flavor than the regular old ones at the supermarket.
12:41Excuse me, can we get a picture with you?
12:51Of course, my loves.
12:55Miss Simpkin?
12:56Hi, I'm Avery.
12:58I'm a nurse here on the Odyssey.
13:00And I just wanted to say, I'm a huge fan.
13:03It's a shame to see such a young and promising woman working for the enemy.
13:09Big pharma?
13:10The sickness industrial complex?
13:12Doctors and nurses, like yourself, have a vested interest in keeping people sick.
13:17True wellness comes from within, not without.
13:20I don't think that's fair at all, actually.
13:24I swore an oath to help people that I take very seriously.
13:30Are you okay?
13:33I'm fine, sweetie, I'm an empath.
13:38I've probably picked up on a rogue emotion of yours.
13:40Perhaps guilt.
13:44Miss Simpkin.
13:4610.27 on the pool deck, we need a stretcher stat.
13:49What the hell was in that smoothie?
13:55Let's get it cuffed up.
13:57No, no tech.
13:58I'm tech-averse.
13:59No, good at all.
14:04Prep five grams of hydroxycobalamin.
14:06Poisoned by bitter almonds.
14:07That's impossible.
14:08They're organic.
14:08Yeah, so is arsenic.
14:10Bitter almonds contain amygdalin, which breaks down into hydrogen cyanide when ingested in
14:14high doses.
14:14Be prepared to initiate ACLS procedures?
14:17If I'm going to be subjected to this western medical torture, I at least need to be able
14:19to breathe.
14:20I'm going to get you some oxygen right now.
14:22No, no, sweetie, no.
14:23I'll allow my body to breathe.
14:29Doctor?
14:30Spider angiomas.
14:38Avery, this isn't cyanide poisoning.
14:40It's not the almonds.
14:41Well, I hate to say I told you so.
14:43What else is in those smoothies?
14:45I can't tell you that.
14:46That's proprietary.
14:48I mean, that's like telling you the recipe for Coca-Cola.
14:51She's easing.
14:52Let's get her oxygen now.
14:55It's just a thickener.
14:57Ashwagandha root.
14:58B-complex vitamins.
14:59A terapowder base.
15:01Terapowder.
15:04Prep for emergency dialysis now.
15:17Prep the machine.
15:18We're aiming for a bicarbonate dialysit.
15:20Started a flow rate of 300 milliliters a minute.
15:23Got it.
15:24Monitoring for disequilibrium syndrome.
15:28Terapowder.
15:28How did you know what that was?
15:30When I was working for doctors without borders in Peru, we would get cases of kids who were
15:33accidentally eating the seed pods from the territory, which is toxic to the liver, and
15:36they also bind to proteins, making it impossible for the body to absorb them.
15:40Should be fine in a few days.
15:41Explains why people who drink the smoothies feel full but still lose weight.
15:44They're developing malnutrition.
15:46Nice.
15:46Hey, gents.
15:48Captain.
15:50Say what you will about her.
15:51Bethany Wells puts together a hell of a gift bag.
15:53Care for a saltwater taffy?
15:55Made with Indian Ocean saltwater.
15:57Monroe, when I was 18 years old, I worked a clam trawler out of Atlantic City.
16:02And ever since then, that taffy tastes like broken heart and permanent sunburn.
16:07Tell me about this tropical depression.
16:10Just taking a usual route up the coast, northwest to west-northwest.
16:13If we say the course was you only encountering the outer bands.
16:16Shouldn't get much choppier than this.
16:17All right, good.
16:19I'm still going to want some up-to-minute reports from the National Hurricane Center.
16:22Give me some bridge-to-bridge comms and forecasting models from OWS and GFS.
16:27Anything changes, we'll just turn this puppy around and make port in Baja.
16:32Meanwhile, let's smooth this damn ride out.
16:35Sir.
16:37Bridge to control room.
16:38Activate stabilizers.
16:39Control room copies.
16:40Activating stabilization system.
16:48Folks, this is your captain coming to you from the bridge.
16:52Now, out on the ocean, as in life, it's not a question of when you're going to encounter waves.
16:57It's what do you do when they come up.
17:00And here on the Odyssey, when the waves come a-rockin', we start rockin' and rollin'.
17:09Boom.
17:10Not so much.
17:19Yes, sir.
17:20Hmm.
17:24You call that the Julianne?
17:27I call that a coward.
17:32Riders of the storm.
17:36You're with us.
17:38Oh, yeah.
17:38Yeah.
17:40Into this world we're thrown.
17:45Like a dog without a bone and half you're out alone.
17:50That's work.
17:50Riders on the storm.
17:54Yes, sir.
17:54Hey, Bethany.
18:09Is everything okay?
18:10Absolutely not.
18:12My beet hearts taste like organ meat.
18:14Something is off.
18:17I'm so sorry to hear that.
18:19Meat is fresh.
18:20It's mulchified with capers, shallots, anchovy paste.
18:22It's the same as always.
18:23Listie, the ingredients doesn't help, Bib.
18:25Clearly, we made a mistake.
18:27You know, you're a talented cook, but it takes a real brilliant chef to work at this scale.
18:32All right?
18:32Just get rid of it.
18:33Take it away and do that thing I like with the spam and the mozzarella and mix it up so
18:37it looks like tartare.
18:38Okay?
18:38Can you do that?
18:39That's cooking 101.
18:40Of course.
18:52What?
18:54We're friends.
18:56We're friends?
18:57I thought you were trying to not do this.
19:00Do what?
19:00I support whatever you're doing or not doing.
19:03She's talented, successful.
19:05Maybe this thing has legs.
19:06It's got legs.
19:07Long ones.
19:07Her food is awful.
19:09I can eat this.
19:11For whatever it's worth, my liver mousse is really tasty.
19:13Yeah, well, it's making me nauseous.
19:14Then go have a hot pocket in your cabin.
19:16You know what?
19:17I think I will.
19:24No.
19:25Nope.
19:26We're not doing this again.
19:27No more drama in the infirmary.
19:28Go quash whatever that is right now.
19:29Looks like we're on the other side of that storm system.
19:43Yeah, maybe.
19:45Hey.
19:48What is your problem?
19:49Aren't you jealous or something?
19:50Of you and...
19:52No, babe.
19:53I'm not jealous.
19:56You rejected me.
19:58And now that I'm moving on and I found someone that I actually like, it's making you crazy.
20:04What?
20:06She's nice.
20:07And she's smart.
20:08She's extremely good cook.
20:09She literally doesn't cook.
20:10That's her whole thing.
20:11She's a talking queasy...
20:12Hey, guys.
20:13Imagine coming out onto the deck only to find people talking about you.
20:20Not cool.
20:22I'm going to bed.
20:23I feel sick.
20:24Have a bit too much Zinfandel?
20:26No, actually, I had a lot of whatever you made tonight.
20:29Knock it off over there.
20:30We got bigger fish to fry.
20:32We're not on the other side of this storm.
20:34We're in the eye of it.
20:36Damn thing must have built up around us.
20:38Brandon, we are walking.
20:43Captain Massey to the bridge.
20:47Monroe, what's it look like on the Doppler?
20:53First Officer Monroe, come in.
20:57First Officer Monroe, come in.
20:59Come in.
21:13Psilocybin.
21:15Wow.
21:17Beautiful.
21:20What's going on, Captain?
21:23Well, Monroe, what's going on is you're higher than Snoop D-O-double-G-8.
21:28And we're in the middle of a hurricane, maybe one of the worst I've ever seen in this part of the Pacific.
21:33Hi.
21:34Yeah.
21:35I'm...
21:35What?
21:37Yeah.
21:38You all right.
21:39You didn't get into that, did you?
21:41No, sir.
21:42That's one in a row.
21:44Hmm.
21:48Folks, this is your captain calling from the bridge deck with an update.
21:54Well, it appears that Mother Nature has decided to come along for the ride this week.
21:59As calm as it may seem right now, we are actually in the eye of a hurricane.
22:05The worst of the storm could hit in a few hours or a day.
22:09Remain calm and await further announcements.
22:11I told you there was something wrong with that food.
22:22Avery, you in there?
22:23Uh.
22:24You okay?
22:25Hmm.
22:25I'm not leaving until I see whatever ingenious thing you've fashioned into a barf bucket.
22:31It's from the nursery.
22:44It's for sandcastles.
22:46Not anymore.
22:48Okay, infirmary.
22:49Come on, let's go.
22:50I have food poisoning.
22:51Just let me cocoon in privacy and recover.
22:53How do you know it's food poisoning?
22:54Ah, because I am a very good nurse, Maxwell.
22:58Abdominal pain, vomiting, and oh yeah, eating a plate full of raw meat.
23:03Is it a broad pain or a sharp, persistent pain?
23:05You are a sharp, persistent pain.
23:06We don't self-diagnose.
23:09Them's the rules.
23:10Infirmary, come on.
23:11No, I can hardly stand.
23:13How do you expect me to walk to the infirmary?
23:15Me?
23:20No.
23:30I leave for five minutes.
23:34Are you burning sage?
23:36Purify the space.
23:38Create a better place.
23:40Purify the space.
23:41Yeah?
23:42You call that into the bridge, make sure they know there's nothing on fire down here.
23:44She just showed up and started babbling about healing rituals.
23:49I need a hand over here with Avery.
23:50I need her vitals and put her on.
23:51Have a Jamil saline bag, four milligrams on dandestatron for nausea.
23:54My guy, the pain?
23:55Ozone.
23:56I was going to say Toradol, but.
23:57No, she's inhaling the ozone.
23:59Okay.
24:00Bethany, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
24:02I mean, do not inhale the ozone.
24:04That's toxic.
24:05Okay, hi, Bethany.
24:06Hi, hi, hi.
24:07I'm going to need to take your vitals, okay?
24:09Stick with me for one sec.
24:11I can do this.
24:12Hey, Tristan.
24:13Yeah?
24:13I need a CBC and a tox screen.
24:15I think she might have ingested something.
24:16Yes.
24:16A spoonful of bath salts, maybe?
24:18Also prep some Ativan.
24:19We're going to do a grab and stab.
24:20Grab and stab.
24:21Hi, Bethany.
24:21Hi, hi.
24:22How you doing?
24:22Deep breaths.
24:23One breath.
24:24Two breaths.
24:25Three deep breaths.
24:27Sweet well.
24:28Be well, sir.
24:32Let's get her in some straps, just in case.
24:34We're back with you.
24:44What happens when you palpate your right side?
24:48Rebound pain.
24:49Okay.
24:51It's not food poisoning.
24:51It's either of my skinny stones diverticulitis.
24:54Or appendicitis.
24:56Appendicitis?
24:56Do you have time to do tests?
24:57Have a CT scan?
24:58No, but we don't need to.
24:59Are you familiar with RPO procedure?
25:01There are three checks.
25:02One, pain in the lower right quadrant.
25:03You've already exhibited that.
25:05Two, pain when the right leg is flexed.
25:07Check.
25:08Three, pain when the hip is put into interior rotation.
25:11Check, check, check.
25:12Ding, ding, ding.
25:12Max, I think you're going to have to operate.
25:15It feels like it's going to rupture me.
25:16Yeah, I told you.
25:17I told you.
25:18I told you it wasn't food poisoning.
25:19Why won't you listen to me, Abe?
25:23All guests, please return to your cabins.
25:27All guests, please return to your cabins.
25:30Well, we've outrun her about as long as we can.
25:41Rosie, set speed to 120 RPMs.
25:45Helmsman, adjust your heading to 0, 4, 5 degrees.
25:49Set condition, zebra.
25:51All hands, prepare for heavy weather.
25:54Secure all openings.
25:56I want this ship drier than Rosie's stories about growing up in Doa Jack.
26:00Roger that, but you live for my stories, Cap.
26:02Don't lie.
26:03Engage healing pumps on starboard to counteract poor side lists.
26:07Good idea, Tim, Larry.
26:08Did you get that, Rosie?
26:09Heard it and on it.
26:10Folks, this is the captain coming from the bridge deck.
26:17Well, it's a funny thing about being surrounded on all sides.
26:22The only way out is through.
26:23Go to your cabins, secure your belongings, and brace for rough water.
26:29Affirmary to bridge, Captain.
26:30You there?
26:30Yeah, Max.
26:35What do you need?
26:36Honestly, I need a miracle.
26:38It's Avery.
26:39Her appendix is about to burst.
26:40We need to do emergency surgery.
26:41I need 20 minutes of calm waters.
26:46Is that 20 consecutive minutes?
26:49I'll take him how I can get him.
26:50All right, stay calm.
26:52Avery's in good hands with you and Tristan,
26:54and you're in good hands with me and the bridge crew up here.
26:56I'm going to get you that 20 minutes,
26:58but it's not going to be all at once.
26:59It's going to take the better part of the next hour.
27:02I've got an idea.
27:04It's an old seaman's maneuver.
27:06It violates about 50 nautical odds,
27:08but we'll deal with that later.
27:10The only thing you have to do is stay calm
27:12and follow my instructions to the letter.
27:15Can you do it?
27:16Yes, sir.
27:16We can do it.
27:21All right.
27:24This is how trough riding works.
27:26We're going to navigate this storm in a big zigzag pattern.
27:30I'm going to position the ship in the trough of a wave,
27:33and that should carry us along for a couple of minutes
27:35when we absolutely have to.
27:37I'll give warning,
27:39and we'll make a hard 90-degree turn,
27:41thrust through the wave and into the next trough,
27:44which should buy us a couple more minutes.
27:45So instead of steady rocking,
27:47we'll have moments of calm,
27:48followed by,
27:48whoa, mama, hang on to your hat.
27:50That's exactly right, Rosie.
27:53Guys,
27:54the life of one of our own is on the line down there.
27:57The only way this works
27:58is if we stay in constant contact and communication.
28:01Copy?
28:01Yes, sir.
28:02Copy that.
28:09How am I supposed to pull this off, huh?
28:11Without you bossing me around?
28:12Just remember,
28:13if you kill me,
28:14my ghost is going to come crap dust to you
28:16every time you're alone with a girl.
28:29I'm debating now.
28:29All right, team.
28:33We're entering the first trough.
28:36Heading along the McBurney line now.
28:39Access.
28:46Locating the appendix.
28:49Got it.
28:50Time's up.
28:51I gotta make the turn.
28:54One sec, Cap.
28:56Don't have it.
28:57Brace now.
28:59Watch it.
29:06Those hit the ground,
29:07they're useless.
29:15Man, there it is.
29:16I got it.
29:20Time.
29:25Time.
29:25Brace for him, Cap.
29:37Brace.
29:43Sir.
29:44The wind has changed the direction on us.
29:47We got a rogue wave coming.
29:49Get ready.
29:50Brace yourself now.
29:51Now.
29:51Ligatures are loose.
30:03I got uncontrolled bleeding.
30:05I need visualization stat.
30:06Okay, we're good.
30:20We're okay, Cap.
30:21We lost you there.
30:22But we're okay.
30:23All three of us.
30:24Well, I'm glad to hear it.
30:26It's not over yet,
30:27but I think we're three the worst of it.
30:28It's still too shaky.
30:38I can't get the sutures to stick.
30:40Can I?
30:49Done it.
30:50The cool is a cruise ship knot.
30:56It's the same as a square knot,
30:58but you double the back loops.
31:01You see?
31:03Scissors.
31:05It's actually very smart.
31:08Well,
31:10I do know some things, Doc.
31:12Yes.
31:19Yeah, baby.
31:21That was fun.
31:22Want to do it again?
31:23Woo!
31:23That's what I'm talking about, baby.
31:34Hey, Tristan.
31:36You know a lot more than some things.
31:38That was incredible work.
31:40I wouldn't have wanted anybody else
31:42in there with me.
32:00Her blood pressure's dropping.
32:01Hoppy's irregular.
32:02Looks like she vomited during the storm.
32:04Let's get her on her side
32:04since she doesn't ask, right?
32:05Yeah.
32:06Ready?
32:06One, two, three.
32:08Do you think it's shrugs?
32:09Is it hallucinogenic therapy?
32:11I'm not so sure.
32:12Look at her wrists.
32:13Got swelling,
32:14yellowing with the fingernails.
32:16A jaundice,
32:16so I need to do with her liver.
32:24Such negative auras.
32:25That's what she said to me when we first met.
32:31I had a crimson aura.
32:36Bingo.
32:38Kaiser flasher rings.
32:39A what?
32:41It's copper poison.
32:42You see the rust-colored rings around her iris?
32:45Mm-hmm.
32:45That's why she's seeing auras where visions clattered.
32:47It also explains the neurological symptoms and the ataxia.
32:49Organ meat.
32:52Extremely high in heavy metals.
32:54And liver is high in copper.
32:55She needs chelation therapy.
32:57We need to detox her system.
32:58Let's get her on an IV of penicillin.
32:59Yeah.
33:00Ondansetron for nausea.
33:01Also, let's put her on a normal saline bolus
33:02just to flesh out her system.
33:04I got it.
33:04Energy meridians run like streams through the body.
33:28Strong emotions muddy the waters, pollute the soul.
33:31Agnes, are you sure you're ready to do this?
33:34I mean, I thought I killed you.
33:36Sweetie, it's going to take more than a smoothie to get rid of me.
33:40I'm closing up shop.
33:42I've blended my last bebida.
33:43Judy, sweetie, you're a healer for goddess sick.
33:45You can't quit that easy.
33:48Did I ever tell you about that pro golfer's shoulder I was working on?
33:50I can't say who he is, of course,
33:52but let's just say he was a real big cat.
33:55If you catch my drift.
33:56It was Tiger Woods.
33:57Yeah.
33:57I was tapping his yun-min, the cloud gate,
34:00but I was a millimeter off.
34:01He lost sensation in his whole arm.
34:03A week before the masters.
34:05Gradually, over the next six days, sensation returned,
34:08and that weekend, he shot 18 below par.
34:11Took on the green jacket.
34:14It's amazing what miracles can happen with catastrophe.
34:17Sensing a real imbalance right here in your tionglao.
34:23Inhale deeply for me.
34:29Oh, that one felt kind of funny.
34:31Oh, yeah.
34:32That's toxicity leaving the body.
34:34Now exhale all that negativity.
34:36Judy, does it hurt when you breathe?
34:48Yes.
34:49Her lips are turning blue.
34:51Central cyanosis.
34:52Otex saturate 88%.
34:53She needs oxygen.
34:54How long are these needles?
34:55Uh, they range.
34:56The black ones are 100 millimeters.
34:58100 millimeters.
34:59Oh, yeah.
34:59Oh, yeah.
35:00Oh, yeah.
35:00Oh, yeah.
35:01The intrapleural space is 25 millimeters,
35:03so what you've done here is punctured her lung.
35:05Now all the air is rustling out into her chest cavity
35:07and it's crushing her heart and lungs.
35:09Otex saturate 70.
35:10Prep for a thoracostomy.
35:11I'm going to get these needles out now.
35:12No.
35:13No, no, no.
35:13Are you crazy?
35:14If you interrupt her treatment now,
35:15you could permanently alter her energy pathways.
35:17What she needs is to breathe through this.
35:19The only way she's breathing through this
35:21is through a chest tube.
35:22Judy, when I tell you,
35:24I'm going to need you to breathe out
35:25all the air in your lungs and hold it, okay?
35:28Ooh.
35:28Ooh.
35:31Ooh.
35:31Ooh.
35:31Ooh.
35:32Ooh.
35:32Ooh.
35:33Ooh.
35:36Scalbo?
35:37Ooh.
35:37Ooh.
35:38You ready?
35:41Okay, now.
35:43Ooh.
35:50This is going to hurt a little.
35:51Ooh.
36:02Great.
36:02Okay.
36:03Finish dressing the wound, monitor her vitals.
36:05I'm gonna go check on Amber.
36:06She's fine. She's better than ever, actually.
36:08She needed this. She needed this.
36:20You.
36:22Me.
36:26I must say, this is feeling very gift of the Magi.
36:30Is that that story about the poor husband and wife who tried to buy each other the perfect Christmas present?
36:40She sells her hair to buy him a watch chain. He sells his watch to buy her a comb.
36:46Two people with the purest of intentions ensnared by the cruelest circumstances.
36:51Are you trying to turn this into some kind of...
36:52Shh, shh, shh.
36:53Sweetie, sweetie. I can intuit what you're thinking.
36:56Okay.
36:57And I forgive you.
36:58You nearly killed me, you carnival-hacked frog.
37:03Help! Help! Help!
37:05Stop! Break it up! Stop!
37:07She crossed the country!
37:07I am thrilled to announce the launch of our new product, B. Wells Detox.
37:14A high-quality, at-home chelation system that'll help remove heavy, toxic metals from our systems.
37:22Pollutants she put there.
37:25Stay super sweet. Really beautiful, Jess.
37:29Any whoozle, I'm very excited to say that I'll be partnering with a fabulous Purdue Pharma.
37:35What? Can we do another one, Rowan?
37:39I am ending up with some ceremonial-grade lip balm.
37:42As am I.
37:43Oh.
37:44Big bet.
37:45Big time.
37:46Wait a minute.
37:47Are you gambling with precious B. Wells products?
37:50And losing quite badly, I might add.
37:52I would happily trade all the serums and balms in the world who never have to do a wellness week ever again.
37:59Hear, hear. Cap, please. No, we can't.
38:02I'm one step ahead of you whiners, as usual.
38:05I spoke to Lenore this morning. We are not renewing with B. Wells.
38:10It didn't hurt that Lenore had broken out in hives from one of the sunless tanners that Bethany had given her.
38:17Well, from now on, when it comes to wellness, stick into the classics.
38:21Eat your veggies, take the stairs, drink water.
38:24And regular check-ups.
38:25And maybe a colonic. Hear, Rowan.
38:28Hi. Soup. It's cooked, I promise.
38:33Is this an olive branch?
38:34Uh, well, it's my chicken cassoulet with basil oil and white truffle.
38:41All of that raw meat stuff that was Bethany.
38:44This is more me.
38:46Oh, wow.
38:48That's, um, it's incredible.
38:51Wow.
38:52There's more where that came from.
38:54Uh, reminds me, Chef Rick Amora has, uh, suddenly made an abrupt departure from the Odyssey.
39:00Something crazy, like a newborn baby girl or something.
39:03So, Vivian has graciously agreed to stay with us for the rest of the season.
39:09Oh, wait, you, uh, you, uh, you cook your job with Bethany?
39:11Congrats.
39:13Yeah, she gave a whole new meaning to toxic work environment.
39:17I'm looking forward to cooking for people who are actually sane.
39:21Well, let me know when you find those people.
39:26Okay.
39:27Well, that's my cue.
39:28This week, I give you three permission to stay below deck while we manage the disembarkment.
39:36Come with me?
39:37Yeah, I'll, um, I'll see you around.
39:38Yeah, yeah, okay.
39:39I will catch you on the port side.
39:43Really, Tristan?
39:45Real talk.
39:47I almost died last night, didn't I?
39:48What?
39:49No.
39:50Once you were out, there were hardly any ways.
39:52Honestly, we breezed right through it.
39:54It was simple.
39:55Hmm, yeah.
39:56Okay, go on.
39:57Get out of here.
39:58You only get two days before the next cruise.
40:00You don't want to waste them here.
40:03Roller skating on the boardwalk or play whack-a-mole or whatever it is you do in your free time.
40:08What are you doing?
40:09I was never any good at roller skating.
40:11I don't play whack-a-mole because of ethical issues, animal cruelty.
40:15Now, if you're not going to eat that soup, I have a delicious new recipe.
40:20It's pizza rolls, but you don't cook them.
40:22You eat them raw.
40:23Yes, we plucked them from the pepperoni tree just like our ancestors used to.
40:28Ah, idiots.
40:29Both of you.
40:30If I bust these sutures, you're fixing them.
40:34Ugh.
40:35Okay.
40:36Deal me a hand.
40:36I think I'm getting the hang of this.
40:37Ceremonial grade lip balm.
40:39What kind of ceremony needs a lip balm?
40:41Oh, wouldn't you love to know?
40:42Ow, ow, ow, ow.
40:47Ow.
40:48Ow.