Letterkenny Season 5 Episode 4 Letterkenny Spelling Bee
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TVTranscript
00:00your friend dairy said he could beat up your friend dan the other day you're dreaming bud
00:07and not our tools you are joseph and the amazing technicolor dream and cold bud all i'm saying is
00:14if it came down to it and i hope it wouldn't well see you're soft on it already dairy i can
00:18beat dan in a fight you are mixing a hardy bud and not our tools you are down there mixing a
00:24tom hardy oh i would smash that dude like terry's chocolate orange same how's your beers
00:31must be nice you can pick up some extra shifts here while gail's down at her south american
00:36singles resorts huh bonnie you want a lot of two my bars burned down i'd be fucking off too
00:41i'm envious of that old goat it's light lifting this place could run off honor system if it had
00:46to okay katie and bonnie who do you think would win our fight i mean you're dan dan
00:52why isn't you two just arm wrestle and get to the bottom of it no why not well because arm
00:58wrestling is not a legitimate barometer for strength and certainly not toughness you're
01:02either born a good arm wrestler you're not you just could leg wrestle no why not well because if
01:09they're on the floor rubbing their legs together they both lost well how are we going to sort this
01:13out well he's about to fight no sure so you're a good friend dan how is dan a good friend in all this
01:19well dan sees you're quite upset about this he's willing to put his beer down come over there
01:23beat the shit out of you such you're over it tyson who would win in a fight between dan and dairy
01:31dairy yes why longer reach quicker on his feet not above a nut shot or a hair pull joy boy
01:40squirrelly dad squirrelly dad why because he's squirrelly
01:43who do you think would win in a fight between you two me you
01:52me
01:58see now there's a good friend
02:0715-4 and i'd hope for more 15-2 that's worse than you zeros which is also known as the 19s hand
02:28because the 19s hand is impossible to get in the games of cribbage
02:31do re me do re me 19 go fuck yourself
02:40fuck she's really cool down out there hey boys don't obey 10 neil degrasse tysons
02:47where'd katie been all day
02:48yeah you're fucking mine
02:51what are you sleepwalking staryl in the words of legendary canadian singer songwriter
02:57blue rodeo
03:03hasn't hit me yet
03:05in the words of jim cuddy also of iconic canadian rock bands blue rodeo
03:09try in the words of grammy award-winning canadian singer songwriter sarah mclaughlin
03:15you're building a mystery in the words of genre bending canadian indie rock band arcade fire
03:21wake up
03:23in the words of multi-international award-winning songstress celine dion
03:28it's all coming back to me now and in the words of canadian pop star and heartthrob
03:34justin bieber is it too late now to say sorry and in the words of multi-juno award-winning canadian
03:40singer-songwriter brian adams please forgive me good people makes mistakes darry how do you forget
03:47about the letter kenny adult spelling bee and how much it means to katie you call yourself a friend
03:53now wait
03:57you're right there
04:04i'm sorry darry
04:06it's okay good buddy it's just that i uh
04:12wish i could take some of her pain from last year
04:14and put it on myself you know we all stews good buddies i mean she really had it all
04:22champion letter candy adult spelling bee nine years running she was just a girl when she won her first bee
04:29god damn it she was just a girl then came stewart we do not say that names in this house darry
04:35what the fuck ought to spell with someone his own size he's been spelling out of his own weight class
04:39for years now like she forgot a silent e completely out of character for her
04:45do you want to want that silent e may follow her around for the rest of her life she's warms it like
04:49a shit stains ever since that fuck thinks he could just walk around town spelling like that we all know
04:55that types of spelling's gonna catch up to him one days it has to okay you want to spell but
05:00you want to walk around town spelling like that okay i'll spell with you any day of the week and i
05:07suggest you like that one manate who's doing all the hollering down there she's trying to study
05:14these wayne's i think it's clear what needs to be done here want to make a pact of course we mix a
05:26pack scary i'm surprised we're not making a pack right now he works around the clocks to helps her get
05:31her spellings ups to her potential we don't sleep keep her focused keep her inspired keep her hydrated
05:39we're coming in it's a cover up
05:49okay girls girls that's what i said who you calling girls uh oh uh no we mean women yes that is my bad
06:01i am sorry it is an old habit see we call the men on our team boys so i just it's completely
06:08inappropriate okay marianne over there is not a girl when's the last time you saw a girl's tit sag so
06:14low she could tuck them into her joggers you're right betty ann to call us girls is wildly inappropriate
06:20look at you when's the last time you saw a girl with enough pubic hair to lose her keys in
06:26along with the boint canadian tire keychain okay okay okay that's enough uh
06:31ladies yes ladies i'm even more offended by that tell me how marianne's a lady her jill straps got
06:40more skid marks than a runaway truck lane on a coastal mountain highway yes i'm afraid you guys missed
06:45the mark again betty ann's no lady she picks and flicks more boogers than a restless dutch eight-year-old with
06:53aspergers well done marianne you're unpredictably articulate for a girl who waves goodbye to her
06:58pee when she flushes the toilet you want to talk about unpredictable betty ann who would have
07:03thought the girl who ingested mosquito eggs after drinking out of mud puddles would ever
07:09almost be accepted to community college riley jonesy get out here
07:16okay
07:24it's getting pretty cold out there down to almost 10 degrassi junior highs
07:29you guys bring your coats i'm just kidding i don't give a i'm used to you two embarrassing me
07:34all right go to bed at night embarrassing i get up in the morning embarrassing but the only time you
07:40two have ever humiliated me is when you started spelling now please tell me you put in the work this
07:49year we always put in the work coach i don't want to let you down or the boys
07:54but we've been up front about being dog-shit spellers from the get-go so trying our best we're math
08:01guys coach don't fucking bullshit me okay if it were telling b i mean
08:11dog-shit spellers unreal cellers you two focus i have money on this all right and for me to get that
08:20money i've done a little tinkering behind the scenes oh yes i think you two are going to do
08:29quite well this year
08:43Hey, Katie, I'm eating you a smoothie.
09:05It's on the counter.
09:06What's in it?
09:07Half an avocado, half a banana, half a cup of blueberries,
09:11half a scoop of vanilla whey protein powder,
09:13half a cup of water, 13 almonds.
09:16Hope you're not just getting echophobic.
09:18That's the fear of the number 13.
09:21You can spell that, right?
09:22It's one of the most commonly used words in spelling bees.
09:25Everybody can.
09:26You stay hydrated?
09:28What are you doing?
09:30Who, me?
09:31Sudoku.
09:32Didn't you not know that doing number puzzles and games
09:35increases the neuroplasticity within the brain
09:37and helps it reorganize itself?
09:39Did you want to do one?
09:40No.
09:43Dan, why are you lifting weights?
09:46Whose knees?
09:47Well, didn't you not know that exercising allows your brains
09:50to take some of the proteins called BDNS,
09:53which helps with focus, concentrations, and memories?
09:56Here's, I got ones for you, too.
09:58No.
10:01What?
10:02You play guitar now?
10:04Who, me?
10:05Of course I do.
10:07Didn't you not know that playing an instrument strengthens the corpus callosum
10:10that links hemispheres in your brain by creating new connections?
10:14Do you want to know what a G chord sounds like, Katie?
10:22Super.
10:23Katie.
10:23I'm more than a little bit concerned.
10:27You're the only one around here not looking to create new neural pathways in the brain.
10:31I'm just going to get a beer.
10:32No!
10:33What?
10:34Well, those alcohols doesn't kill brain cells like some people thinks.
10:37It does damages them.
10:39This is about the spelling bee, isn't it?
10:49Yeah, see, it's just that I, uh...
10:55Sat and watched you spell your little heart out last year,
10:58and then...
11:00Then Stuart come up and spell bully you.
11:02We don't say that name in this house!
11:05I just sat there and watched it.
11:07I just sat there.
11:08I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to forgive myself for that.
11:13Guys?
11:15I'm ready.
11:17Okay, I just...
11:18I need you to believe in me.
11:22Of course we believe in you, Miss Katie.
11:24To have my back.
11:25Of course we have your back.
11:26Well, of course we'll keep you hydrated.
11:28Oh, I'll be plenty hydrated while I'm drinking champagne out of my tenth title trophy.
11:35So help me God.
11:38You a champ.
11:41Walk it.
11:43Talk it.
11:45Be it.
11:47The bikes are outside.
11:51Let's do this.
11:53But grab a sweater.
11:54It's cooled down.
11:55Down to about 10 degrees is always greener on the other sides.
11:58Are you ready?
11:59Are you ready?
12:00Spell me in.
12:02I'm ready.
12:03I'm ready.
12:06Stuart, I was wondering if I could double the champ on his bike.
12:09Actually, I was hoping I could double the champ for the spelling bee.
12:14I'm doubling the champ.
12:15I'm doubling the champ.
12:16No, I'm doubling the champ.
12:18Okay, guys.
12:20Okay, guys.
12:21You guys can double the champ to the spelling bee.
12:24Maybe.
12:25But we get to double the champ after he wins tonight.
12:29Eat on the fuck, you shot down, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot.
12:33Wondrous.
12:37Break it down for me.
12:38Stuart's your biggest threat, that we know.
12:40We've got intel that he's been trained with some dark web spellers.
12:44And I'd tell you what words they've been using his spell with, but I don't think you want to know.
12:48I don't. Next?
12:50Joint Boy's actually a pretty good speller when he's stoned.
12:52So keep your eyes open, because his are going to be damn near-sealed shots.
12:56Always. Next?
12:58Riley and Jonesy can't spell for shit. They're fucking idiots.
13:00Okay.
13:01But McMurray's been known for spelling dirty.
13:04I need you to watch your back.
13:06McMurray's a piece of shit.
13:08Now he knows we believes in you, Miss Caties.
13:10We've always got your back.
13:11We're going to keep you hydrated. Don't worry about that.
13:14We appreciate that your spell's mean, but we think you can spell meaner.
13:19We want you to show some teeth.
13:22So to help you with that, we gots you this.
13:31This is the distance, or you know the, it's truly difficult for you to know.
13:40Yeah.
13:41The data is particularly specific.
14:14Push it in, push it in, push it in.
14:19Push it in, push it in.
14:22I'm so proud.
14:24Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
14:34It's just been for you now.
14:37It's just been for you now.
14:42It's just been for you now.
14:45It's just been for you now.
14:47It's just been for you now.
14:49Let's just been for you now,
14:52It's just been for you now.
14:57Getting cold out there, eh?
15:00Oh, getting cold out there, eh?
15:03It's down to about 10 degrees wither spoons.
15:06Got the money?
15:07As discussed, the money's on the grill.
15:09$200 on joint, boy.
15:11$200 in Jonesy and Riley.
15:13Nice.
15:14I'll put the pot where it's safe.
15:17Same.
15:19Winner takes all?
15:20Winner takes all.
15:22Duh.
15:22Good.
15:24I'm looking forward to that.
15:30H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h.
15:48Welcome to the attack, any adult spell in B-A-B-C.
15:52Now look at my D-N-E-F-G and L-M-N-O-B.
15:54Q-R-S, pocket-T-U-V.
15:56Come and let it, Kenny.
15:57It's a spell in B-E-E.
15:59Cooling down out there folks
16:01Down to about 10 degrees as peanut butter cups
16:04Anywho
16:05Based on length of past felon bees
16:08Coupled with spell of proficiency
16:09This year's bee will be
16:11Single knockout
16:13Sudden death overtime
16:17Begins right now
16:19Can I use the toilet?
16:22I don't know
16:23Can you?
16:25May I use the toilet?
16:28Yes you may
16:29Katie
16:32The first word is yours
16:35Shut up
16:42Shut your fucking mouth
16:45You think this is the PGA
16:46You can just hoop and holler
16:48Whatever you want
16:49Bob out fucking booey
16:51We respect our athletes here
16:54So sit down
16:55Shut up
16:56And enjoy some fucking adult spelling
16:59Katie
17:03Your word
17:05Is farceur
17:07Farceur
17:10Can I get a definition please?
17:14A writer or actor of satire
17:17Farceur
17:19Hence farce
17:20Farceur
17:21F-A-R-C-E-U-R
17:26Farceur
17:27Correct
17:28They should be able to clap
17:35If she get one right
17:36Screw her Dan
17:36Yeah like that's what we've done in the past
17:38Yeah but looks at what happens last years
17:41Yeah but see she's used to getting cheered for right
17:43We don't want her to get inside of her own head
17:45If no one cheers for her
17:46It's the last thing we fucking want
17:47It's too risky Dan
17:49Okay I am sorry for my outburst earlier
17:56I came at you with a lot of anger
17:58And that was unnecessary
17:59You can cheer if someone gets a word right
18:03But it starts and ends there
18:06I don't want to hear a fucking fart out of any of you
18:09If someone gets a word wrong
18:11As sure as grandma's got gout
18:13If I hear one fucking heckle
18:16I will staple your tongue to your taint
18:18So you can watch me kick your ass
18:21Jim you want to repeat the last thing you said there
18:26Correct
18:27Stuart the next word is yours
18:41God damn it makes me hot when a man can spell
18:48I do love a good tongue
18:50Riley and Jonesy can't spell for shit
18:52Fucking idiots
18:53Stuart your word is disparate
18:57Disparate
18:59Distinct in quality and character
19:02How appropriate
19:03Disparate
19:06D-I-S-P-A-R-A-T-E
19:14Disparate
19:16Correct
19:17Call my name Stuart
19:20Spell it
19:21What else can you do at that time?
19:23Riley and Jonesy can't spell for shit
19:25Fucking idiots
19:27And with that Riley and Jonesy
19:29The next word is yours
19:31Riley
19:37Jonesy
19:38Your word
19:40Is
19:41Hawkey
19:43Hawkey
19:48Can I hear the word used in a sentence please?
19:53Uh okay
19:55The letter Kenny Irish are a senior A whale shit hockey team that recently folded
20:01Hawkey
20:02Hawkey
20:03H-h-o
20:08K-K-K-K
20:12k-K-K-K C-K-E-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U í…”ë ‰
20:16C. K. E. Y. Why? Why? Are you finished? Yes. Correct. Yes. Fucking idiots. Thanks.
20:37Joint Boy, the next word is yours. Joint Boy? Joint Boy?
20:54Joint Boy. I suppose it is his name. Joint Boy, your word is ensconce. Ensconce.
21:09Gotta fuck little joints ensconced in this vanny pack. Ensconce. E-N-S-O-N-C-E. Ensconce.
21:20Correct. Yes.
21:24Can I use the toilet again? Can you? Can-can. Can you do the can-can? Good thing it's not the grammar bee.
21:39McMurray, the next word is yours.
21:47Wayne, hurry now. Not bad, can't you?
21:49Mm-hmm. McMurray, your word is confrere. Confrere.
21:57Definition, please.
21:59A colleague or comrade. Confrere.
22:03Hmm.
22:05If confrere is like this, who needs enemies?
22:08Okay. Confrere. C-O-N-F-R-E. Confrere.
22:15I'm sorry, McMurray, that is incorrect.
22:19The proper spelling of confrere is C-O-N-F-R-E-R-E.
22:26Exactly what it said.
22:27I thought I heard C-O-N-F-R-A-R-E.
22:31Well, you are mistaken.
22:33I do apologize.
22:35Don't worry about it, Dixkin.
22:37Dicken!
22:38Exactly what it said. Dixkin.
22:39Make sure we've got the right master of ceremonies for this thing here, okay?
22:44I think you need to get your earwax checked, Dixkin.
22:46Hmm.
22:47Dixkin.
25:05Some butt-fuckery at play there.
25:15Jims!
25:16Now, I know you noticed that Riley and Jonesy's words are simpler than everyone else's and quite suspiciously all hockey's related.
25:26Yeah, there's a wee bit of butt-fuckery at play here, Jim.
25:29This has been the system ever since Uncle Eddie won the very first letter Kenny Adolts fell in B in the late 60s.
25:35We must honor it.
25:36Exactly.
25:37And aren't you guys the ones that are always saying you shouldn't fuck with tradition?
25:41It's fucking embarrassing!
25:47Jim, McMurray's skirting the system here.
25:50You can't understand what he's saying.
25:52He's pulling the wool over your eyes, cowboy.
25:54Well, well, well.
25:58Ain't no hater quite like a spelling bee hater now, is there?
26:02What's the matter, Chanice?
26:05You got some money riding on the bee?
26:07Money?
26:08There is to be no betting at the letter Kenny Adolts fell in B.
26:12Your dirty money is an insult to the integrity of the sport.
26:16Yeah, Chanice.
26:18All this time talking could be spent.
26:20Spell it.
26:21It's not called a spell in talk.
26:23It's called a spell in B.
26:26And we are here to be.
26:28Spellers.
26:37Where's the bounty?
26:38We're dry.
26:42I need sustenance.
26:44You smoke like 21 gram cannons.
26:46Like, how are you even conscious right now?
26:50Fuck!
27:02Katie?
27:03This is getting out of hand, Stuart.
27:05Too much for you?
27:08What?
27:09Did you think this would be silent easy?
27:14Yes!
27:18Stay high, brain.
27:19There will be no more in emissions, and there better not be any degenerate gambling!
27:37Amidst allegations of contest rigging, there will be a new order for the spellers.
27:41I will be selecting names randomly from this hat moving forward.
27:47The door is a dumb fucking hat.
27:48It is, but I do believe that that's a dumb fucking trilby's.
27:52Joint boy.
27:53Joint boy.
27:54Joint boy.
27:55Joint boy.
27:56The first word is yours.
27:57Joint boy.
27:58Joint boy.
27:59Joint boy.
28:00Your word is dithyram.
28:01Dithyram.
28:02Dithyram.
28:03Dithyram.
28:04Dithyram.
28:05D-I-T-H-Y-R-A-M.
28:08Dithyram.
28:09Dithyram.
28:10Dithyram.
28:11D-I-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-A-R
28:41riley jonesy your word is bosky bosky can i have the definition of the word please
28:51having abundant trees or shrubs bosky sounds a lot like brosky buddy how do you spell brosky
28:59i don't know how to spell anything buddy fucking idiots maybe we should just take the iron brosky
29:05i don't think there's an iron brosky i'm going in on brosky buddy yeah good luck on brosky
29:10brosky uh i mean bosky b-o-s-k-i bosky incorrect
29:23fucking embarrassing
29:26mcmurray the next word is yours mcmurray your word is penalty
29:38penalty penalty hey that was supposed to be jonesy and riley's word
29:44well that's fucking embarrassing
29:50penalty penalty penalty penalty
29:59incorrect the correct spelling of penalty is p-e-n-a-l-t-y
30:05exactly what i said no it isn't
30:10did you ever see that movie dick tracy or warren baity i would smash that dude like a neighbor's
30:18pumpkin on devil's night same well dick tracy used a similar machine to slow down and decipher
30:24the speech of an appropriately named character mumbles what let me show you this is mr mcmurray's
30:33answer at normal speed
30:40now this is his answer slowed down
30:45p-e-n-a-l-t-y
30:51which mcmurray you are eliminated please take a seat offstage
30:58p-e-n-a-l-t-y
31:05p-e-n-a-l-t-y
31:09p-e-n-a-l-t-y
31:10p-e-n-a-l-t-y
31:11ladies and gentlemen we have reached our final two contestants give them a round of applause
31:18in the final round if a speller misspells a word his or her opponent will then have a chance to steal
31:25the first word is yours
31:32kate your word is trisca decaphobia
31:37trisca decaphobia
31:40word is yours. Katie, your word is triskaidekaphobia. Triskaidekaphobia. Triskaidekaphobia. T-R-I-S-K-A-I-D-E-K-A-P-H-O-B-I-A. Triskaidekaphobia.
32:08I'm sorry, Katie. That's incorrect. No, no, Jim. That's how you spell triskaidekaphobia.
32:17That's not what I'm reading on the card here, Katie. I'm sorry.
32:24Stuart, you now have a chance to steal.
32:30Settle down, people. Settle down.
32:38Triskaidekaphobia. T-R-I-S-K-A-D-E-K-A-P-H-O-B-I-A. Triskaidekaphobia.
32:54Correct.
32:57Stuart, you are back-to-back champion of the letter Kenny Adolts spell in me.
33:02Wait. Katie had it right. It was wrong on the monitor. Triskaidekaphobia is spelled T-R-I-S-K-A-I-D-E-K-A-P-H-O-B-I-A.
33:24Which is exactly what I said.
33:26No, it isn't.
33:27T-R-I-S-K-A-D-E-K-A-P-H-O-B-I-A.
33:44Silent I win.
33:45And I've been on to the dark
33:48And I've been on for the night
33:51She's running down
33:54She's not just a day
33:56I'm going to tell you that I'm sitting
33:59She's running to do
34:02I was like that girl's sleep
34:06I'm going to shame
34:08I'm going to die
34:09And I'm going to say
34:10She's running away from me
34:14Anyone want to double me home, ladies?
34:24Everyone knows how to spell Triska dekaphobia.
34:27It's the most common word used in spelling bees.
34:30I know that, but there's a reason I spell...
34:32Fucking idiots.
34:36Fucking idiots.
34:44Oh, fuck, buddy, his coach is probably going to read him a set.
34:50Fuck, what does he want, buddy?
34:54Dear peasants,
34:57figured out why the girls hate each other.
35:01They're in love with the same man.
35:05Fucking embracing.
35:08Figure it out.
35:14Give your balls a tug, you titfucker.