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00:00Darling, what's your name?
00:02Ostrich.
00:03Ostrich.
00:04Allah's my favorite bird.
00:06You're like Lai.
00:08When you were born, your parents are like,
00:10she looks like an ostrich.
00:12Let's name her ostrich.
00:14Do you, like, lay an egg?
00:16I mean...
00:18No, your husband didn't like that.
00:20She's not an ostrich.
00:22How do you say it? I mean, I literally
00:24heard ostrich.
00:26Ostrich.
00:28Try me again.
00:30I will promise I get this.
00:32Go ahead. Promise I get it.
00:34No, no, no. Just say it one more time loud
00:36and I promise you I get it.
00:38You won't.
00:40No, no, I...
00:44What is this shit attitude
00:46you brought to the show already?
00:48Have some faith in me. Don't act like
00:50an ostrich, okay?
00:52Just seeing when ostriches get mad.
00:58This woman is like,
01:00no, you won't get it right.
01:02You look stupid to me.
01:04Come on.
01:06Let's do this one more time.
01:08Go.
01:09One, two, three, go.
01:11Ostrich.
01:12Ostrich. Give it a round.
01:14What do you do in Berlin?
01:18I own a cat tension.
01:20You're at a cat hotel?
01:22Cat hotel?
01:24Yeah.
01:25What?
01:26Hold on a minute.
01:28What?
01:30Hold on a minute.
01:32In Berlin, your cats have hotels?
01:36Where are they vacationing from?
01:38Stuttgart.
01:40They're at the hotel,
01:42fucking dancing to DJ Kitty Cat.
01:44They have a cat hotel?
01:46Yeah.
01:48They're at the hotel,
01:50fucking dancing to DJ Kitty Cat.
01:52To DJ Kitty Cat.
01:56They have a cat hotel?
01:58Is this for actual cats?
02:00Or are you referring to pussy?
02:04This guy's like,
02:05I'm the biggest pimp in Berlin, bitch.
02:08I got it.
02:09Pussy hotel.
02:12Good for you.
02:13And that's your lady?
02:14It's complicated.
02:16Is she part of the hotel?
02:22She goes, no.
02:23I'm not part of the goddamn hotel.
02:27Nice to meet you.
02:28But he's such a cool guy.
02:29And you're very beautiful.
02:31So why is it not happening?
02:33Why is it complicated?
02:34Complicated, you said?
02:35So it is happening.
02:36Complicated is happening.
02:38Happens sometimes.
02:42So I guess my question is,
02:43who's married?
02:46You're married.
02:54I'm a professional at this shit.
02:57Okay?
02:59Don't ever underestimate me.
03:01I read you from miles away.
03:04You're so cool, man.
03:06She was like,
03:07how do I say no?
03:09And he looks like
03:11either the nicest guy in the world
03:13or a serial killer.
03:17Seriously?
03:18He looks like, hi.
03:20I have cat hotel.
03:22Come pet the pussy.
03:24Come pet some kitties.
03:25Yeah.
03:31Germany.
03:32Germany!
03:34Nice to meet you.
03:35What do you do in Austin, bro?
03:36I live here.
03:37I live here.
03:38Yeah?
03:39When did you move?
03:411990.
03:43See how German he is?
03:44He was going to give me the month, date, and time.
03:481990.
03:51And would you fall in love?
03:52What brought you to America?
03:53Did you meet somebody special?
03:55Did you get married here?
03:56I got married here.
03:57I got divorced here.
03:58We got married.
03:59We got divorced here.
04:01We got married.
04:02We got divorced here.
04:04That's nice.
04:05And what's happening?
04:06What's the status now?
04:08Currently engaged?
04:09Currently engaged.
04:11Good.
04:12That's really nice.
04:13Your fiance is here.
04:14Is she American?
04:15Ukrainian.
04:16Ukrainian.
04:20Finally, somebody has...
04:21This is so nice, man.
04:23Take the German guy in.
04:24Yeah?
04:26Germans are some of the smartest people on earth.
04:29You know that, right?
04:30Half Mexican.
04:31Half Mexican?
04:33Oh, the German guy is half Mexican?
04:39What a combination, huh?
04:41He's not only smart, he's hard working motherfucker.
04:47This guy.
04:49This guy.
04:51We need more half Mexican, half Germans.
04:53We need more half Germans.
04:57You two are such lovebirds.
04:58The whole show, you're holding her like this, huh?
05:01You love her, huh?
05:02How long...
05:03Is this new?
05:04It's been a long time?
05:05And you still love her?
05:08Wow.
05:09No, that's beautiful.
05:10I can't relate to you.
05:11That's beautiful, man.
05:14What's your name?
05:15Nathaniel.
05:16Nathaniel.
05:17How did you guys hear about the show?
05:18It was a great time.
05:20I picked on you?
05:21Yeah.
05:22Oh.
05:26And he came back for more.
05:30You look like a kind serial killer.
05:35You have the nice guy like, fuck you up, man.
05:40And how long you guys been dating?
05:41We've known each other for 40 years.
05:4340 years?
05:4440 years?
05:4540 years.
05:46So you were like childhood friends?
05:47Yeah?
05:48Little kids?
05:49Like how old?
05:50Seven.
05:51That's adorable.
05:52At seven years old, you guys were...
05:53Wow.
05:58Nathaniel, you're such a pervert.
06:02Seven years old?
06:03Damn!
06:05That was five she was in.
06:06She's two years older than you?
06:09Woo!
06:10Wow.
06:13We're in power, dude.
06:15You locked him in at age five, huh?
06:19Did you guys ever be a part for college or...
06:23Yes?
06:24Yeah?
06:25For college.
06:26College?
06:27And then you went and you tried the whole school and nothing was as good as Nathaniel.
06:29He was the best, wasn't he?
06:33You were like, I remember since I was seven years old.
06:37Good, good.
06:38That's nice.
06:39And when did you guys reunite again?
06:41Right after college.
06:42Right after college.
06:43Did he have hair back then?
06:47He had hair when you got back to him?
06:49And then as soon as he met you, you guys became serious and you're like, you committed,
06:54all the hair came off.
06:55You know, you know why bald men have hot girlfriends?
07:00Do you know why?
07:01Because the testosterone.
07:03The more testosterone you have as a man, the sooner you lose your hair.
07:08That fucking jackrabbit.
07:10Five years old.
07:11This five year old.
07:18What an impression he left.
07:20That 20 something years later in college, he's like, oh my God, I need the rabbit.
07:26Nathaniel the rabbit.
07:31Look at this lady, so well dressed.
07:34You, you know I'm talking to you.
07:35You're the only one who's got the most sparkly shirt.
07:41What's your name?
07:42Malini.
07:43Malini, where are you from?
07:44Thailand.
07:45Thailand.
07:46Oh, wow.
07:47That's so nice.
07:48What's your husband is?
07:49American.
07:50Green card.
07:51That's fucking nice.
07:53That's beautiful.
07:55Look at this guy.
07:56He's like a James Bond looking white guy.
07:59He's not just any white guy.
08:00You did good, Thai lady.
08:02You did good.
08:04This one is fantastic.
08:06No wonder you're wearing that shirt.
08:07You're like, I'm shining, baby.
08:09I'm the star.
08:11Stand up.
08:12Let everybody see your outfit.
08:13You look so good.
08:14Stand up.
08:15Look how sexy this guy.
08:16Woo!
08:20They thought it's Maximini's wedding tonight.
08:27Afghanistan!
08:30Wow.
08:31Even the black guy is clapping.
08:32He's scared.
08:33He's like, fuck, man.
08:34I was a soldier in Afghanistan.
08:37What's your name?
08:39Hitesh?
08:40Hitesh?
08:41Hitesh?
08:42You're not black.
08:43Fuck that shit.
08:45Hitesh, where are you from?
08:46India.
08:47India.
08:48Okay, okay.
08:51Dog, if you work on your accent, you can change your name to Tyrone.
08:57Trust me.
08:58Are you single?
08:59You got to get a lot more pussy.
09:00You got to get a lot more pussy.
09:05Tyrone, motherfucker!
09:09Tyrone in the house, bitch!