Malcolm In The Middle Season 6 Episode 11 Dewey's Opera
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00:00Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, can you repeat the question?
00:21You're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now,
00:27you're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big.
00:44Life is unfair.
00:57This is so boring.
01:04It's your fault for inviting Stevie over.
01:07He can't do anything, so we can't do anything.
01:10And it's always boring and lame.
01:12Reese, he's not deaf.
01:15I have...
01:18my fun.
01:21This is exactly what I'm talking about.
01:24This would be fun if I were looking at it.
01:27When you read it, it's not fun.
01:28It's sad.
01:29Now I'm bored and sad.
01:31Thanks a lot, Stevie.
01:32Reese.
01:33No, it's horrible.
01:34I think it sucks that he always gets his face rubbed in the fact that he will never get
01:38to enjoy anything.
01:40Maybe you'd be happier if they stuck you in some kind of special tank.
01:44Whoa, check this out.
01:47What?
01:48Street illusion.
01:49Look at these pictures.
01:51Police call it the most reckless, dangerous, teen craze in years.
01:55It says they look back with fondness on the crack epidemic.
01:58We can totally build a board like that.
02:04Except we wouldn't, because our parents wouldn't allow it.
02:07So, since we're not doing it, no one has to say anything.
02:11Yes, this sport seems immature.
02:13And frankly, I just think it's uncool.
02:16Hey, Stevie, look, Pentominos.
02:18Why were we bored?
02:23So you just bought a new bed.
02:25Just like that?
02:26Hal, we had that smelly, saggy old one for 20 years.
02:30It was time for a new one.
02:32This one is certainly bigger.
02:34Yeah, it's king-sized.
02:35They're a little bigger.
02:36So you'll be further away?
02:38I guess.
02:39Maybe a couple inches.
02:40So is that the reason?
02:42You want there to be more distance between us?
02:45Hal, I didn't really think about the size.
02:47It was on sale at Mattress King.
02:49Well, I guess you couldn't pass up a deal like that, huh?
02:52It's just interesting to learn how it starts.
02:55How what starts?
02:56Well, first you buy the king-sized bed, the largest bed made.
03:00But then, of course, at some point, even the giant bed
03:03doesn't put enough distance between you and the hideous monster.
03:07So you start sleeping in another room, and soon we're barely exchanging pleasantries.
03:13And then one day you say, Hal, let's just say what we're both thinking.
03:18And then I end up eating alone on a Formica table under a swinging light bulb while you are on a beach and Ibiza being rubbed with cocoa butter by your new lover who you can never get too close to.
03:31Hal, it's a bed!
03:33The old one was horrible.
03:35This one is nice!
03:37Now look, I know this is a big change for you.
03:43So I'm just going to have to think of some way to make you very, very happy in this bed.
03:50Good luck!
03:52I'm here to snitch.
04:02Reese and Malcolm are in the garage.
04:04They won't let me in, but they're building something.
04:07If you want help in the penalty phase, let me know.
04:10Dewey, I am not going to go in there and have a big fight with the boys because you've got nothing to do.
04:15We have a rule in this family about what we do when we're bored.
04:19Nice!
04:20Nice!
04:21Good luck!
04:22Let's do this!
04:49I don't care if they are your skateboard wheels.
05:13We're not putting a no fat chick sticker on it.
05:16All right, but it's still our policy.
05:19What are you crying about?
05:20I was just sitting there and this opera came on.
05:25People screaming and hating.
05:28It was our family, but with music.
05:31And they all mixed together in a counterpoint that underscored the futility of their lives.
05:38And Lestretto showed the minor key it had been hiding in the subdominant from the very first bar.
05:49All I understood was, hit me, Reese, hit me, and never stop hitting me.
05:55Yeah, well, that was the gist of it.
05:56The animals in the farm include, but are not limited to, the cow, the horse, the pig, the chicken, the sheep, the duck.
06:14Dewey, the algebra homework you gave us, did you want us to show our work?
06:20Huh?
06:20I don't know.
06:22Just a sec.
06:25You okay?
06:26You want to wrap your head in some tinfoil?
06:28I have nothing.
06:31I want to write an opera.
06:32I know I can do it.
06:34I have all the music.
06:36I can hear it in my head.
06:38I just don't have a story to hang it on.
06:41It has to be something so dramatic it's like a knife in the heart.
06:45The peccary.
06:46The hog bear.
06:48That's the trouble with being a kid.
06:50I want a dog.
06:51I don't have a dog.
06:53But ultimately, so what?
06:56The sounds produced by said animals are, respectively, moo, neigh, oink, cluck, gobble, silent.
07:14I don't see anyone.
07:16Are you sure this is the right place?
07:18I don't know.
07:19It was a pretty reputable extreme sport chat room.
07:23Come on, man.
07:28Come on, go.
07:30Let me go inside.
07:31Hey.
07:38Hey.
07:40Is it cool if we ride with you?
07:42What?
07:42You dropped deadly, man.
07:47All right.
07:48This is going to be fun.
07:49Yeah.
07:53Nope.
07:56That's not going to happen.
07:58Too steep, too dangerous.
07:59I might die.
08:00Call me a girl.
08:01I don't care.
08:03You know what?
08:04I'm going to try.
08:05Are you serious, dude?
08:07It's too steep.
08:08Your face will make an itch from the asphalt.
08:10No.
08:11I'm pretty sure I can do this.
08:13Malcolm, seriously, think about this.
08:15I don't want you killed or brain damaged.
08:18You're my brother and...
08:19Hey, this isn't bad.
08:33I'm actually having fun.
08:36Wow.
08:36I think I'm going to turn out to be a really good loser.
08:40The whole apocalypse thing will just be a funny story on my day's preluge.
08:45I better get my own line of clothing.
08:47Maybe a girlfriend.
08:49Maybe two.
08:50They fight over me, but I'd make them work it out.
08:52Someone owes me an extreme apology.
09:07I'm bleeding, man.
09:08Hey!
09:09Hey, you jerk!
09:11You totally made me crash.
09:13Just because you can blow a lot of money on some high-end luge doesn't mean you're not a jerk.
09:18You're just a rich jerk.
09:21Jerk.
09:22Jerk.
09:25Jerk.
09:52Jerk.
09:53Jerk.
09:54Jerk.
09:55Jerk.
09:56Jerk.
09:57Jerk.
09:58Jerk.
09:59Jerk.
10:00Jerk.
10:01Jerk.
10:02Jerk.
10:03Jerk.
10:04Jerk.
10:05Jerk.
10:06Jerk.
10:07Jerk.
10:08Jerk.
10:09Jerk.
10:10Jerk.
10:11Jerk.
10:12Jerk.
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10:14Jerk.
10:15Jerk.
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10:17Jerk.
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10:20Jerk.
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10:24Jerk.
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10:28Jerk.
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10:59Jerk.
11:00Jerk.
11:01Jerk.
11:02Don't be hysterical
11:08You always get hysterical
11:10It's called having feelings
11:12You should know you're an expert
11:15At faking them
11:17At least mine are real
11:19How to make a thing out of this
11:22What should a man do
11:24When he knows that he'll never be happy again
11:28Sing a song
11:29Just get a grip, pal
11:33Don't overreact
11:35Overreact
11:36I feel horrible
11:37I feel lousy
11:41I'm having a stroke
11:44Seriously, Lois
11:45It feels just like
11:47We think it's fun, too
11:49We're sure it's fun, too
11:51It's a panic attack
11:55Like that time in the laundromat
11:59Breathe into a pillow
12:04A pillow
12:08How cruel
12:10How callous
12:12The stroke is the worst case of emotional blackmail she's ever seen
12:19I'm having plenty
12:25Call 911
12:28Tell them a blood vessel just burst in my brain
12:31Just halfway between my neck and my nose
12:34That's only if you care
12:35If not, feel free to sit by while I die
12:39And watch land
12:41And watch land
12:41Blackmail
12:42Blackmail
12:45Stroke
12:46What a big, big, big
12:49What a giant stroke
12:51How do you know
12:54To do things
12:57Or you know
12:57Which you live
12:58How do you know
12:59I know
12:59I know
13:04I know
13:05ORCHESTRA PLAYS
13:35ORCHESTRA PLAYS
14:05ORCHESTRA PLAYS
14:07ORCHESTRA PLAYS
14:11ORCHESTRA PLAYS
14:13I am NOT stopping until I take that guy down.
14:27How much skin is left in your chest?
14:29Enough.
14:35You wanted to see me?
14:39Stevie, brace yourself.
14:41I'm going to tell you a really big secret about something so huge
14:45that every bone in your body is going to want to tell.
14:48But you have to promise not to.
14:52This is an actual street luge.
14:56Like from your magazine.
14:58Heaven!
15:00Forfend.
15:02I need you to help me with some calculations of real friction
15:05and frame stiffness to get this thing perfect.
15:07I have to beat this rich jerk who keeps making me wipe out.
15:11I'm going to make a bet with him and race him.
15:14You think you can beat this glorious alpha male?
15:23It's going to happen because I'm going to hide in the bushes
15:26and jump out at him and force him to crash.
15:29It may not be the most honest thing in the world,
15:31but you know what?
15:32Who cares?
15:33This guy totally deserves it.
15:36I'd hate to be him.
15:39Hell, get in this bed and go to sleep.
15:43Oh, I'll sleep, Lois.
15:45I'll sleep where I want it.
15:48Are you coming back to bed?
16:09Or should I just order crib for you?
16:14I'm not coming back.
16:16I don't like to be where I'm not wanted.
16:21Especially if it's on a big giant bed.
16:26You've been on the couch for four days.
16:29I can hold out as long as you can.
16:32I have nothing to apologize for.
16:37Why would you?
16:38I bet they were the best four days of your life.
16:42No, no, no.
16:45You're both holding back too much.
16:48Glacienda, you sacrificed your future for a family that's not even grateful.
16:53You've got all this anger bubbling up that's ready to explode.
16:58And Donna Argento, you have nothing in the world but that woman.
17:02You hate your job, you don't have friends, and now you're losing her.
17:06Dewey, when it says Jamie wets his diaper, should I really wet myself?
17:11No.
17:13But on show night?
17:15If the second act drags.
17:17Dewey, the problem is that these characters are just treading water.
17:22I mean, it's been four days and we've done four scenes with him on my couch.
17:28You're right.
17:29You're just stuck.
17:31What if Don Argento solves his romantic problems with a machete?
17:36In a tragic, yet comedic, big bloody mess.
17:42Yes, I want to return a mattress I bought last week in accord with your 30-day return policy.
17:48Okay, I'll speak with the king.
17:50You're returning the bed?
17:52That's it?
17:54In what world is that an ending?
17:56Your father and I were arguing.
17:57It's just not worth it.
17:58That doesn't seem like a very satisfying resolution.
18:01Well, sometimes marriage is about getting by.
18:04You're not always satisfied with everything.
18:08Wow.
18:09I can't believe Dad was so right.
18:12He said if he made a big enough stink, he'd get his way.
18:16Well, it's a good lesson for me, though.
18:18Thanks, Mom.
18:19Okay, 80 bucks.
18:26Street rules, which means no rules.
18:29And don't let yourself think about what might happen, because you don't want to get psyched out.
18:33And don't think about getting psyched out, because you might get psyched out.
18:37People who get psyched out make mistakes.
18:39Good advice.
18:44What?
18:44Go!
18:44Go!
18:44Go!
18:45Oh, no!
18:48Oh!
18:51Oh!
18:54Oh!
18:57Oh!
19:00Oh!
19:02Oh!
19:05Oh!
19:07No!
19:09Oh!
19:11Oh!
19:12Oh!
19:13Oh!
19:25Oh!
19:27Oh!
19:31Oh, no!
19:36Oh, no!
19:37Ok!
19:39We'll run back in the middle of the tunnel!
19:40There we go!
19:41There's going to be a new EyeRocate,
19:42Oh my god, Stevie, no!
20:12All right, Hal, I didn't want to have to say this, but you pushed me to it.
20:38What?
20:40There's a reason I bought a bed that was bigger.
20:43I did want some distance from you.
20:45But it's not because I don't love you and I don't want to be close to you.
20:49I don't understand.
20:51There are certain things that have to happen with my body at the end of the day.
20:55Certain events that have to transpire.
20:58And if they don't transpire, I end up with stomach cramps.
21:02And I don't want it to happen two inches away from your nose.
21:07That's your secret?
21:08I know it's stupid and embarrassing and I want to be sexy for you, but after 20 years,
21:13I just have to have a break from clamping down and gritting my teeth all night.
21:18Oh honey, I don't care about that.
21:20And it's not a secret.
21:22The second you fall asleep, you let loose like a sailor.
21:26What?
21:27Oh yeah, it's like when they put the balloons away after the Thanksgiving parade.
21:30Oh my God, I can't hear anything.
21:36You're tumbling out.
21:38Honey, honey, relax.
21:41Honey, we're married.
21:43It doesn't matter how embarrassing something is.
21:48Because no one knows it.
21:52But me.
21:53Lois, don't be embarrassed.
22:05Lois, don't be embarrassed.
22:07I know everything about you.
22:17I know when you think you're alone, you have to check if your ears have grown every day before you go to work.
22:42You know how I panic when I see a monkey.
22:57I've seen you take pizza from the carpet and eat it.
23:12I know all of you.
23:15You know all of me.
23:18But it's only just my love.
23:27No one else knows.
23:32No one else knows.
23:36No one else.
23:42No one else.
23:49No one.
23:52I'll return the bed
24:07Honey, you've fallen asleep for a week in that bed
24:11They're not going to take it back
24:22Honey, you've fallen asleep for a week in that bed
24:31There you are, I was looking all over for you
24:47Boy, I wish I was you
24:49Worst thing in your life is taking a nap
24:51You still owe me 80 bucks
25:08Take it out of my pocket
25:21Ladies and gentlemen
25:29We now present a story of shame, humiliation
25:34And the deep personal secrets that lurk within the marriage bed
25:43Well, everyone we know is here
25:56I hope Dewey doesn't embarrass himself
26:00One, two, three, four, three, five hand
26:04Why?
26:05Could you look over to the affidavit?
26:06See, let's go over to the beach
26:08Baseball UK
26:08linha
26:10boom