Malcolm In The Middle Season 2 Episode 15 The Grandparents
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00:00great pancakes dad oh thanks hey who's ready for seconds
00:17i am yes no maybe i don't know can you repeat the question you're not the boss of me now
00:35you're not the boss of me now you're not the boss of me now and you're not so big
00:43you're not the boss of me now you're not the boss of me now you're not the boss of me now
00:52and you're not so big life is unfair
00:59so which one of these pinks do you want to let float this month cable or reason
01:09oh we can probably go without a cable that might be fun we'll get together as a family
01:15play board games sing songs okay you made your point we'll pay the cable
01:19oh for crying out loud the freezer's out again
01:25what we just had that fixed no stupid piece of junk
01:31it's only five years old how could it keep breaking down
01:36don't get the ice chest from the garage providing that still works
01:50no uh-huh well look mom settle this the loser looks a tub drink deal mom whose tongue's longer
01:58are you going to make us stand out here all day
02:06mom dad oh my god honey your parents are here
02:12come on in so this is certainly unexpected what uh brings you all the way down from canada
02:33wait a minute this can't be released yep
02:37what's the matter with you don't you clean behind your ears look what i found
02:43five bucks thanks grandpa
02:46so grandpa did you have a nice drive down
02:50i said did you have a nice drive
02:54i can't hear this one he sounds like girl
02:56so you just decided to hop in the car and drive on down from canada without calling ahead
03:03uh how fun yeah how long do you think you'll be staying if we such big inconvenience we go
03:09right now no no no no no please don't be silly uh dewey you remember your grandparents
03:15aren't you sweetie
03:16he needs changing
03:20he always needs changing you take him
03:24let him sit and that will teach him
03:28but what you take him he smells
03:31that's what happens to little boys who squirm
03:39it's estimated that as many as thirty thousand young people have descended on new orleans to
03:49join in the annual mardi gras festivities at this hour police have been called in to try and
03:55look at those animals going berserk tearing each other's clothes off those are people with no
04:02respect for authority eric's right that could be us if we left right now we could be in new
04:08orleans in five hours where we gonna get there where are we gonna stay gentlemen you quibble with
04:15me about logistics when i'm offering you 48 hours of non-stop debauchery this could be the greatest
04:22weekend of our lives damn francis you should have known better than to eat sushi at a truck stop hey the
04:33cashier said the yellowtail was fresh besides my octopus was excellent can we not talk about the
04:39fish please guys it's like a war zone up there there's looting rioting and now the cops are turning
04:46the fire hose on the crowd sorry about the tank out i don't know what the deal is with the fridge
05:00what do you expect that brand is the shavka
05:03that's it fattened up on pizza good luck running when they come with the dogs and chase you into the hell
05:17you know i think it's great you're able to just hit the road without a care in the world
05:22huh oh right yeah with me i'm always thinking about things back home you know did i leave the stove on is
05:32the iron plugged in i once heard of a fire being caused by a mouse chewing through an
05:38on the ground is my coffee all right it's uh right here dad just the way you like it mom i really wish
05:46you'd put out that cigarette it's not good for the kids why you think it'll stunt that growth you turned
05:53out big enough look at it eat like animal not like mr pizza with knife and fork you know dad since last
06:05time you were here uh malcolm has been put into a special class i'm not surprised no no no no it's a
06:13it's an advanced class it's very challenging work tell him malcolm well today we finished reading grapes
06:21of wrath and we're studying advanced algebra what is that shot at me i know study algebra that's because
06:29i go to war when i was your age what good is math in war huh when you can provide for your family
06:40you can have last piece of pizza
06:48dad hell provides for us just fine which isn't easy when someone's hogging all the pizza you can't even
06:57keep food in the house for my grandchild do you call that providing we will get the refrigerator fixed
07:04for what so it can break again what does a new one cost seven eight hundred dollars i give you
07:12eight hundred dollars to buy a new one thank god our generation knew to save our money to hold on to it
07:20i didn't fritter it away on things like toys and dolls i dressed a piece of wood and i was happy to
07:27have it we will not take your money of course you will we love you too much to stand by and watch your
07:37children grow up ashamed of you this is what family is for
07:42lord hello Malcolm listen i need to know what mom used to put in the hot tea when we were sick
07:51is she around i think she's changing the sheets on their bed grandma and grandpa are here oh you're
07:57kidding so did they knock or did you just hear their cloven hooves clatter up the driveway i can't be
08:04sure but i think grandpa spit at me look don't take it personally they're primeval creatures with tiny
08:10little hearts yeah but there must be some reason malcolm they have stupid lizard brains they're
08:17threatened by anyone with an ounce of ambition or intelligence they'd eat you if they had better
08:22teeth this one or is on phone that's grandpa isn't it tell my city's a malevolent poisonous troll
08:33francis says hi no good delinquent he says hi back
08:38no absolutely not i will not let you take their money why not because they'll never let you forget
08:46that they had to give you eight hundred dollars they'll use it to try to humiliate you they do that
08:52now lois come on i know what your folks think of me we need the fridge we can't store the meat on the
09:02porch forever i'm big enough to take one for the team
09:11hmm you're better than all of us
09:14i can't do this on dewey's bed
09:32reese's looks okay
09:33thank you
09:42do you know this thing makes ice cubes in both circular and crescent shapes
09:48how do they expect people to decide well it's nice to have something in the house that works
09:53yeah you know maybe in their dark twisted world this is how your parents show love
09:59hey victor pretty great huh my descending colon's inflamed what's great uh listen dad i just
10:09mailed off the mortgage and car payments and what with buying the new refrigerator and all we should
10:14probably get that check from you right away about that your mother and i decided it's no good for
10:21family to give money to family always ends badly
10:28pulp who buys orange shoes with pulp
10:43how can they do this how can they just offer us money then pretend it never happened i'm gonna kill them
10:49i swear i'm gonna snap their necks like chickens that is not gonna pay off the debt lois unless you're
10:54a beneficiary on some sort of life insurance policy what am i saying look look why don't we just return
11:02the refrigerator i can't i bought it on sale no hell what are we gonna do well what choice do we have
11:09for the next couple of weeks until we get caught back up we're just gonna have to work a ton of overtime
11:13really and who's gonna look after the kids so we thought the perfect thing might be
11:21if you could stay a little longer and keep an eye on the kids i don't know mother and i should go
11:30they sense tension no oh no oh no no no no there's no there's no tension we just uh we have a couple of
11:43hectic weeks coming up and we just hoped that you could stay a little longer of course we'd do
11:51anything for you we are the family oh do we hey guess what grandma and grandpa are gonna stay and watch
11:59watch you guys for the next couple of weeks
12:09how you doing francis i need a doctor we got you something better man
12:39we brought you beads you wouldn't believe it out there francis there's free beer and the women
12:48take their tops off when you give them beads is it possible we crashed our car on the way down here
12:54and died and went to heaven unwelcome death right now i can't believe this is you talking francis
13:03francis you're our leader if it wasn't for you we wouldn't even be here you know what you're right
13:13this is mardi gras i can do this yeah give me those beads
13:33thank god we found a hotel with a drain in the hallway
13:37you're going to work all the time don't have children hey i want an ice cream i don't blame you
13:53why do they always do that they take you for ice cream and stuff and never ask me i thought about that
13:59it and i think they see me as the protector of the bloodline if the future's half as bad as grandpa
14:06and i suspect the only survivors are gonna be mutants cockroaches and me all living underwater
14:17let's face it they're back in the winter
14:19oh man i'm stuffed i shouldn't have had a second one
14:42are you okay grandma because i can carry your purse for you or maybe your whiskey
14:48i won't strangle the border guard with my bare hands just asking
14:56so i studied about your country in school always with the books you won't be happy till you get eye
15:03cancer no really i found the folklore very interesting in the history the wars the revolution it must have
15:11been very hard for you growing up it was very hard
15:23have a snort maybe later
15:25and look at the mother's boy
15:38are you gonna take that what hey you boys come back here and set up grandma what are you doing
15:47who's this you're not a year old bodyguard no no it's okay she's kidding
16:01i don't know why you won't tell me who did this
16:19you know there's no honor in protecting a bully
16:26okay it's your face mom do you
16:31do you like your parents it doesn't matter how i feel about them it's not like i can trade
16:41them in for someone else you can't pick your parents you're pretty much stuck with who you get
16:46i know
16:53anyway they're certainly not going to change things get too difficult at least i can be grateful that
16:58soon they'll be gone back to their own home
17:01yeah that's what i meant
17:14oh i thought i beat you oh they had to keep both registers open till midnight what kind of
17:20idiot needs a beach bowl at 11 o'clock at night did you make the kids lunches oh right no not yet
17:27i've been kind of tied up here you know i discovered something kind of interesting
17:32there now it appears the circular cubes cool quicker but the crescent ones last longer oh for god's
17:40sake how will you quit playing around that is a rectal thermometer
17:47i'm gonna go brush my teeth you know i ask you to do one simple thing i can't do it all myself you know
17:57i'm gonna go brush my teeth you know i'm gonna go brush my teeth i'm gonna go brush my teeth
18:05hey are you upset about something look i'm tired i just got off a double shift i want to go to bed
18:13sure are you just seem a little snappish about the cubes because i'm tired of you not helping out
18:19around here all right lois i know we're both a little raw from the last five days but there's no
18:26reason to dump your frustration with your parents onto me on you oh yes because that's what this is
18:32all about you're angry at them and you're displacing your anger onto me i mean it is classic oh i'm
18:40displacing am i kind of like how you're focusing all your attention on that monstrosity in the kitchen
18:47i knew it you don't like the refrigerator i hate that refrigerator i hate its tubular handles i hate
18:57the way it keeps the butter i hate that when i'm trying to sleep i can hear it roaring oh no you can't
19:05yes yes i can no not the 5100 that motor housing is four layers thick lois four layers and it keeps things too
19:14you cowl that is unfounded criticism most unfounded and unfair and until you apologize i will be in the
19:28garage i told you there was tension
19:47grandma grandma wanted to know if you can think ow what was that for
19:52see you know even try to defend yourself why are you so weak i wasn't expecting for you to hit me
20:00that's what they're counting on when they kick down your door in the middle of the night
20:04ow grandma stop this come on show me what you got come on come on grandma i'm not gonna hit you
20:12a kitchen never have to say that so how you're gonna fight these people when they throw you in the
20:17truck and take you away you're gonna read to them you're gonna impress them to death with your giant
20:22nodal brain oh look i'm smart okay that's who i am and if you don't like the fact that i'm taking
20:31high school math classes and reading great books well too bad because i'm gonna be successful and maybe
20:38even rich because i am smart okay so just leave me alone and i'm gonna be just fine
20:48i warned you about the eyes
20:54what's this about i want to show you something something just for you i have waited many years for
21:06this moment but now that you are old enough i want to give you something close to my heart
21:16wow is this stuff real from the big war wow is this a real gas mask gas mask yes field glasses
21:27you get yourself nice girl with this i tell you
21:36this is so awesome grandpa you're the best this is so cool
21:43god in heaven what this is live grenade do not let go of handle we both die
21:50i don't want to die don't worry you won't all we have to do is find find the pin find the pin put the
21:58pin back in and then everything would be fine
22:05playing like baby what's going on grandpa give me a live grenade it's really cool you want to hold it
22:12no no no it's for you not him oh my god we have to go to police no no police no police please
22:20there's no reason to panic yes there is you can raise a live grenade and he's a total idiot
22:27he's right i am i don't think i should have it anymore here no you hold on to that no i'm tired of
22:33this game i think what i really want to do is go lie down now hello what was that what was what
23:03what happened here we can't be sure grandpa gave me a live grenade and it was going to blow and i
23:13didn't mean to drop it but malcolm threw it in the fridge you gave my son a live grenade you brought
23:21live ammunition into this house what is the matter with you people are you completely insane you don't
23:32never talk to us like that you hear me what's the robot is that do you all right all right all right
23:46lowest seat the boys in the end of the room but now why don't we sit down
24:09first off i'm not here to try to sort out the complicated relationship you have with the woman
24:14i love that's not my place and i know it would be folly to try to put a price on the deep psychological
24:22trauma that you've caused lowest through the years but let me take a stab at it anyway three thousand
24:30dollars sound okay to you what well that would pretty much cover the fridge the collateral damage
24:37pay off a few credit cards and finally get the transmission fixed in my car because of what just
24:43happened you want us to loan you three thousand dollars please i know you're uncomfortable lending
24:51to family so let's be clear
24:57with one phone call i could have your asses thrown in jail for child endangerment
25:03so this money i'm asking for it's not a loan it's blackmail
25:15is like your brother was left all over again
25:22come on francis we gotta hit the road or we're not gonna make bed check i don't care i came all the
25:33way to new orleans i got all these beads i'm not leaving until i get some action
25:39now if you don't mind i need the room okay i'm good
26:00so
26:07so
26:09so