Forgive is the blessings ...
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00:00It is said that to err is human, to forgive is divine.
00:06I'm here to say that forgiveness is not only divine, it is absolutely necessary
00:12if you wish to lead a life that is free from bitterness and full of hope and happiness.
00:19Welcome back to another episode of Frankly Speaking.
00:22We are talking about forgiveness.
00:25Who among us hasn't been hurt by the words or actions of another?
00:29No one.
00:31Being hurt by someone, particularly someone you love and trust, can cause anger and sadness.
00:38That's natural.
00:39The problem arises when you allow those negative emotions to take control of your life.
00:46As the saying goes, holding a grudge against someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
00:53In truth, the anger and bitterness you are holding on to is only hurting you.
01:00It's preventing you from moving forward with your life in a meaningful and positive way.
01:07So, how do you go about unpacking the emotional baggage that is harming you?
01:12You need to learn how to forgive.
01:15As Dr. Fred Luskin says, forgiveness does not change the past, but it changes the present.
01:24It is the feeling of peace that emerges as you take your hurt less personally, take responsibility for how you feel,
01:31and become a hero instead of a victim in the story you tell.
01:38So, how do you move from victim to hero?
01:42For starters, it means you need to honestly acknowledge that your negative emotions are getting you nowhere.
01:49They will not change the past, nor will they change the person who hurt you.
01:53Forgiveness is not saying what happened to you is okay.
01:58It is not okay.
01:59It's saying that you are ready to move on and retake control of your life.
02:05It's saying that you have made a conscious decision that your emotional well-being is more important than your need for an apology or revenge.
02:14When you choose to move away from your role as victim, you no longer define your life by how bad you have been hurt, but rather how good your life has become.
02:26It is also important to remember that forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciling with the person who has harmed you.
02:33We need to love and respect ourselves enough to not allow people back into our lives who have shown us that they do not love or respect us.
02:44If we need to cut the person who has hurt us out of our lives, that's okay.
02:49Forgiveness is not about excusing the offender.
02:53It's about liberating you, the victim.
02:56Forgiveness is a gift that you give yourself.
02:59It's not reconciliation that will set you free.
03:02It's the act of forgiveness that will set you free.
03:06I wish all of you the very best in your journey toward forgiveness.
03:10It won't be easy, but I promise you that it will be liberating.
03:15As the old saying goes, to forgive is to set a prisoner free, only to discover that the prisoner was you.
03:23Good luck, be well, and stay strong.
03:40Good luck, everyone.
03:41Good luck.