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  • yesterday
Transcript
00:00I got this! Stay it out of the way!
00:01Oh, this ought to be good!
00:02It is gonna be good!
00:03Ah!
00:04Oh!
00:07It's a long way down!
00:08Wait a minute.
00:09Wait, what are these balls?
00:11Are you teleporting?
00:12Oh, it's golf!
00:14Oh, man.
00:15Jane, it's your date!
00:17Oh!
00:18Hi!
00:19I'm gonna read for her.
00:20Here we go.
00:21I don't do small talk, but you seem emotionally, uh, unstable.
00:25Wait a minute!
00:27You get one shot.
00:29Don't waste it.
00:30Unstable?
00:31I am not unstable!
00:33Oh, Jane, she's perfect for you.
00:35Please.
00:36Jane just hasn't had a nap.
00:38Jane, you don't need to act like my mom.
00:41I'm just saying you're a bit cranky.
00:43You've been like this on dates with me.
00:45Are you saying I can't do dates right now?
00:47Fine!
00:48Wait, wait, wait.
00:49She's reading.
00:50She's saying more.
00:51You want to break a few rules?
00:52Or just pretend we're still a part of this broken system?
00:55Wow.
00:56Oh, no.
00:59Everybody knows I'm a rebel.
01:00I break rules all the time.
01:01Rise against!
01:02Oh, okay.
01:03I mean, give me a snack then.
01:05Oh, you gotta get her a-
01:06Oh!
01:07That's good, right?
01:08Yeah, no, I know how to feed my date.
01:10Uh, let's see.
01:11Uh, waiter!
01:12Uh, I don't know.
01:13Maybe you just gotta get, like, a burger or something like that?
01:15Oh, wait!
01:16You just got-
01:17Ooh!
01:18There's a waiter!
01:19Hello?
01:20I would like one snack for my date, please.
01:22Oh, wait, wait.
01:23She says, which one should I get?
01:24Shrimp or chicken nuggets?
01:25What are you gonna get?
01:26Snuggies!
01:27Snuggies!
01:28Ooh!
01:29Yeah, nuggets!
01:30An elegant lady with a STABLE man like myself would get the shrimp.
01:34So, there.
01:35Gross.
01:36Okay, okay.
01:37Eats?
01:38What are you gonna get?
01:39Everyone knows shrimp is elegant, and I am a good boyfriend, so now we get to-
01:44Ah!
01:45Ah!
01:46Exploded!
01:47Oh, my gosh!
01:48He's dead!
01:49Zane!
01:51How do you explode a date?!
01:53Your date was allergic to shrimp and died!
01:56How was I supposed to know that?!
01:58Wow, Zane!
01:59Good job, lover boy!
02:00Who's the real loser now, huh?
02:01Oh, shut it!
02:02Come on, let me give it a shot.
02:04Let's see what happens.
02:05Oh!
02:06Oh!
02:07Back here again.
02:08I thought I'd get a new one.
02:09Oh, well, okay.
02:10I know how to do this.
02:11Zane!
02:12There's no way you'll do better than me!
02:13Um, I thought I was gonna be emotionally stable.
02:15Okay, I guess she called me unstable, too.
02:17It's fine.
02:18Alright, let's see.
02:19Come on, come on.
02:20Uh, yeah, let's do this.
02:21She's following my path.
02:22Alright, so I'm gonna go on my date with her, but this time I'm not gonna murder her,
02:27Zane!
02:28Oh, I thought I was just being nice about getting the shrimp!
02:32Okay, okay, okay, let's see.
02:34Um, ooh, alright.
02:36Uh, chicken nuggy!
02:37Nuggy!
02:38Nuggy!
02:39Sure you don't want shrimp!
02:40You eat gross things, Zane!
02:41Ooh, look at her!
02:42She's gonna eat and...
02:43And...
02:44And...
02:45Wait for explosion!
02:47She didn't explode!
02:48Yay!
02:49Oh, she loves me!
02:50Oh, yay!
02:51Oh, now let's gobble whatever.
02:53My soul is empty.
02:54Oh, okay.
02:55Wait, what was the last bit?
02:56I don't know, girl!
02:57We're not gonna cry!
02:58No, we're not gonna cry!
02:59We're gonna go play golf!
03:00Get in there, girl!
03:01Okay, there we go.
03:02Alright, what do I do?
03:03Uh, do I just...
03:04Oh, look!
03:05There's the balls!
03:06Alright, let's see.
03:07Um...
03:08Shut up, Peebs!
03:09Shut up, Peebs!
03:10Shut up, Peebs!
03:11Shut up, Peebs!
03:12Alright, so let's see.
03:13Uh, here we go.
03:14Okay, alright, watch me, girl!
03:15Alright, I'm gonna make...
03:16I'm gonna make...
03:17Stand back!
03:18Bam!
03:19Wow!
03:20Nice!
03:21Oh, that car!
03:22Oh, that car!
03:23Oh, you hit the car!
03:24Oh, no, that car!
03:25How did I...
03:26How did I...
03:27Oh, no...
03:28That's a hole in one if I ever saw one!
03:29Oh, girl!
03:30Oh, girl!
03:31Oh, girl!
03:32Oh, girl!
03:33Your game exploded from embarrassment.
03:37Not so easy, is it?
03:38Oh, wow!
03:39Isn't it because I'm bad at golf?
03:40Embarrassment?
03:41Oh, my God, okay.
03:42Yeah, I guess you can't swing the right way after me.
03:44Swing less than right, Timothy!
03:46Oh, yes, that's the right control!
03:47This is my period!
03:48Ladies, please, do fight over me.
03:50What the...
03:51Butt!
03:52Ow!
03:53Oh, jeez!
03:54So this is a game where we find out who's the best at dating.
03:56So who's next?
03:57Me!
03:58I think the ladies came, but...
03:59What's that?
04:00No, it's...
04:01What?
04:02Ooh!
04:03Heh heh heh!
04:04Ooh!
04:05This looks like fun!
04:06Is that a dance floor?
04:07Uh, okay.
04:08Dancing and golf?
04:09What is this?
04:10Oh, hey!
04:11I wanna dance!
04:12Oh, I got her!
04:13I got her!
04:14Don't worry, I'll read for you.
04:15Oh, okay.
04:16I don't normally come to clubs.
04:17I'm normally watching anime.
04:19I can't dance, but I don't want to upset the pretty girl either.
04:23Funny she likes anime.
04:24Lose her!
04:25I like anime!
04:27Oh!
04:28Well, I mean, anime's fine, I guess.
04:30You know, me too, Zane!
04:31Zane!
04:32I'm just gonna sit over here.
04:33Zane doesn't realize, does he?
04:34I don't think so.
04:35What a buck.
04:36I guess that I would, uh, dance.
04:38Oh!
04:39You're gonna dance, Beeps?
04:40You're gonna dance the-
04:41Oh!
04:42Oh, look at her!
04:43She's dancing!
04:44Alright, Beeps, show her what you got!
04:46I'm doing it!
04:47I'm impressing the girl!
04:48Okay, is that what he's doing?
04:49Oh!
04:50You really would pick me?
04:51Yeah!
04:52I-I-I picked up the girl!
04:54That's what she sounds like, right?
04:55She looks like she sounds like that.
04:56Sure.
04:57I'm gonna do it with the glasses.
04:58Yeah.
04:59Right, Kim?
05:00What's that supposed to mean?
05:01Yeah, right, Kim?
05:02Okay, well, Beeps, Beeps, okay, the next part of the date is to talk to her about her feelings!
05:06Hey, yes!
05:07Oh, what the-
05:08Whoa!
05:09Hey, yes!
05:10What happened?
05:11Oh!
05:12What happened?
05:13What happened?
05:14Well, Beeps, looks like your girlfriend-
05:15No, what down, what down!
05:16It's coming back!
05:17Huh?
05:18Hey, get me back!
05:19Oh, no!
05:20Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
05:21Oh, no, what's happened?
05:22Oh, hey!
05:23Just take me instead, huh?
05:24Oh!
05:25Only an alien can like, Peeps.
05:26You-you danced with me when no one would.
05:29All of us want to take you.
05:31All of us?
05:32Wait, what?
05:33Oh, oh!
05:34Oh!
05:35Guys, Peeps!
05:36Look at all these girlfriends you have!
05:38Are we being invaded?
05:39Guys!
05:40I think I'm king of the women.
05:41Oh my god!
05:42You're out of this world!
05:44You got seven girlfriends!
05:45Unbelievable!
05:46Seven?!
05:47Seven?!
05:48Oh, that was so perfect!
05:49Peeps loved her when nobody else won!
05:52Wait, how did you come up with that?
05:54I'm king of the women!
05:55Stop saying that, Peeps!
05:57Oh, golly, okay.
05:58What do I do with this golden rose?
06:00What the-
06:01Guys, I think Peeps is winning!
06:03Look at that!
06:04What?
06:05Winning?
06:06Not on my watch!
06:07Time for Kimmy to get a date!
06:09Oh, this place smells rich!
06:11Wow!
06:12Oh, so why is Kim there?
06:13Boy, don't make me come over there!
06:15Ooh!
06:16Ooh!
06:17Kim!
06:18Oh, hello there, handsome!
06:20You want me to read it?
06:21You want me to read it?
06:22Oh, sure!
06:23Okay, okay, okay.
06:24I got the boys with this.
06:25Greetings, I'm Sterling Platinum.
06:27The-
06:28The what is that?
06:29What is that number?
06:30What's that number?
06:314-4-4-4-5-V!
06:32Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:33Keep going, it's really good.
06:34Yeah.
06:35Investing in things no one understands, like feelings and crypto.
06:38Oh!
06:39What kind of guy?
06:40You're here to prove you're worthy of my last name.
06:42My net worth is 120 billion!
06:45Wow!
06:46That's much!
06:47Aw, Kimmy hit the jackpot!
06:48Gotta reach my friend!
06:49Still, Kim, blink twice if you need rescuing.
06:51Oh, what happened?
06:52Oh, prove your loyalty.
06:54Oh, I think he's sweating money!
06:55I think he is.
06:56Trust or bust?
06:57Oh, cool!
06:58Prove your loyalty trust fall into the embrace of a financially secured bear.
07:02Ooh, Kim, what are you gonna pick?
07:03What are you gonna pick?
07:04What are you gonna pick?
07:05Okay, okay, this is a one way trick to being rich, babies.
07:06Let's go!
07:07Platinum card, please!
07:08I'll use that platinum card.
07:09Ooh, anything for that platinum card?
07:10Let's go!
07:11Let's see what she's gonna do!
07:12Oh, a trust fall?
07:13Ha!
07:14No problem for me!
07:15Oh, is that the bear?
07:16Oh, look, it's got a little hoochie!
07:17What's an actual bear?
07:18Oh, I mean, it's like a spa bear treatment.
07:19Here we go!
07:20Ah!
07:21Ah!
07:22Oh, boy!
07:23Ah!
07:24Get my leg!
07:25What did I do?
07:26What is love?
07:27Watch!
07:28Ah!
07:29Stop this crazy bear!
07:30Kim, get up here, hurry!
07:31Hurry, I'll help you!
07:32Kim!
07:33Is she dead?
07:34Kim, hurry!
07:35Got you!
07:36I got her, I got her!
07:37I got her, I got her!
07:38Wanna try it again?
07:39Here, I'll put her right there.
07:40Okay, there you go.
07:41Alright, ooh, moving on.
07:42I must measure your obedience.
07:44Kiss my ski boots.
07:45Or, forever before.
07:46Oh, it's what, $20 billion worth it?
07:48Okay, sir!
07:49Hey, I don't blame a sister.
07:50That's a lot of money.
07:51Yeah, Kimmy's baby can be bought for that price!
07:53You get it!
07:54Jeez!
07:55Agree first!
07:56You gotta agree!
07:57You didn't even pick the-
07:58She, she's doing it for free!
07:59Oh, sorry, Russia!
08:00I really want the money!
08:01Like I said, no, didn't he?
08:03Kiss those little tootsies of yours!
08:06My mom says that my heart is with more than money.
08:08Yeah, your mom lied!
08:10Final trial!
08:11Choose the perfect Fondeur!
08:12Fondeur!
08:13Fondeur!
08:14Fondeur!
08:15Fondeur!
08:16Fondeur!
08:17Fondeur!
08:18To represent our shared appetit!
08:19Oh!
08:20For power!
08:21Choose wisely!
08:22For before!
08:23Wow, this guy!
08:24This guy!
08:25This is a tough choice, actually!
08:26I can't survive this!
08:27Whatever I do, I'm buying a jet, and a new face!
08:28Uh, what's it, Texas?
08:29Oh, like, yeehaw!
08:30You know, yeehaw?
08:31Alright, come on!
08:32Mama's waiting!
08:33Let's go!
08:34Oh, okay!
08:35Alright!
08:36Yeah!
08:37What does that mean?
08:38Now what is he doing?
08:39He's sticking a marshmallow into the-
08:40Oh!
08:41He made a marshmallow!
08:42You can do that!
08:43Yeah!
08:44Alright!
08:45Now what happens?
08:46Oh!
08:47Oh!
08:48It was a Texas for you!
08:49Did I win?
08:50Kim, grab the Bitcoin that you can, and let's get out of here!
08:52Right now!
08:53Go!
08:54Go!
08:55Go!
08:56Go!
08:57Go!
08:58Kim, run!
08:59Run!
09:00Run!
09:01Run!
09:02Run!
09:03Go!
09:04Go!
09:05Go!
09:06Go!
09:07Go!
09:08Go!
09:09Go!
09:10Go!

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