18 year old, Byron, A high school dropout overthinks things in life and goes through a dramatic state of mind. He's reeling every single day to overcome these feelings and empower them.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00a regular teenager 18 years old young adult but still haven't signed up for school or anything
00:06like that for years and like i've been debating about it for a very long time and just skeptical
00:13about it which stresses me out i still try to find more of myself i still have troubles
00:20even during therapy those darkness comes into my lightness step by step on the way
00:25i should be forgetting move on i knew i was out of luck i knew there's miracles out there for me
00:35i just gotta look for it i just need more time i thought i want to be somewhere or something that's
00:42not reality more like virtual that's not existent i was happy with some moments of my life
00:52therapy has helped me a lot over the course of my teenage years in adulthood years and to really
00:59fend for myself and find that cure of happiness i saw those times those dark times those thoughts
01:09reeling in my head just really scary
01:13fucking alarming just can't help but you know stop thinking about it i try to find the light side
01:24of inside my mind to cure the darkness that's upon inside my head as the sun hit its light stores me
01:36while i smoke this i can't help but to comprehend and perceive the greater things in life
01:43and just adjust everything towards something better as greater does in life
01:52the fact that i remember achieving so much just puts me in a bright mood and the fact that i know so much
01:59the knowing really helps i remember achieving so much in my life photography really puts me in a brighter
02:08mood than i was before i was just you know speechless by how i was making something something mesmerizing
02:21you know something worth living for the fact that i am an insider and outsider
02:26i've been making many friends online makes me feel i belong in this place to think about it it brings
02:36a new perspective in life some people think why i put myself down and i just say i don't know man
02:46just feel like a low life i lay in bed every day every night and i just can't take how
02:56depressed i feel how like how rough my life was i was in the hospital many times i was in fights
03:07i was in trouble i was blamed for i can't take it i literally almost killed myself
03:13and for what not for attention just for just for someone to notice me
03:25but to also help me help me to not feel this way as a person
03:31not to overthink it i think that bowling got to me too much it got me up
03:37and i wanted someone i wanted a friend i want someone to save me like be around for me and
03:47stick up for me and actually be like a a friend all i wanted was just a friend
03:57in my mind i figured if i meet someone new
03:59i wondered if they really care for me or i if i could trust them
04:07like if honestly if i if they won't hurt me
04:14emotionally and physically all my life i just wanted to fit in i wanted to be one of them
04:22i wanted to be normal i want to go i want to graduate high school at 18 i wanted to go off to college
04:32but i didn't had all that all i had was myself my family that was it
04:39it was really just you know about the problems was about family and school i always talked about that
04:55in the hospital whenever i was checked in there but when i was in the hospital i felt i actually fit
05:02in they i felt like i was a leader now it's all over i had no one to hang out with as much
05:13i was just alone and i couldn't couldn't handle me being alone as much try to change all the awful
05:23perspective in my mind in the hospital i felt like i was in jail but at least i had friends
05:33friends i had connection with there was this one time i checked myself in the hospital there was
05:38cops coming after me and i just there was like my mind racing and i just felt like i wanted to die
05:49and why it was happening in me but i don't know why it was happening i was always that shy kid
05:57i felt like i felt like before i moved away everything was just fine and then it just
06:06things just got rough i there was pain inside of me panic attacks i don't know why i don't know when
06:15it was there but it was there i honestly think life was too much pressure for me and i wanted to end it
06:26all but i had no idea what i was going to do afterwards i literally had voices in my head
06:35different voices it's just weird like how i saw someone that wasn't there as well it was like part
06:44of my symptom i can't believe it was it there that's what i said in my mind is there someone there
06:54i didn't have much luck at life even though i was at the hospital some some people i know
07:01thought i was crazy but i'm not i'm just a normal weird guy with issues
07:07a lot of issues really sometimes i feel like i wanted to scream at the top of my lungs
07:12but i couldn't it's funny it'd be a different point of view if i was a drug addict a crackhead living on the
07:24streets no job no house no no dreams that's what i dreamt about before not anymore i didn't want to
07:37overthink and waste time days contemplating about my past actions and just really i wanted no one to
07:48judge me anymore and and wish that i was able to do the right things the right way without being yelled
08:00at without being feeling stupid and feeling like like i ever belong to be anywhere to be in this place
08:12people will say stuff that isn't true even though it's to you i'm not i'm not crazy i just walk day by
08:24day thinking and think about whatever goes on in my mind i have a feeling that all the troubles i had
08:32in the past made me who i am right now i remember this this was the best day of my life these were my
08:40real friends if i could have gone back in time i would have and not it all up i know there is light
08:48on my end and darkness at the other end but if it goes together it'll be crazy but i just
08:54gotta find more at the end of the road oh you know i didn't sleep today
09:02but you know i might as well be okay i just gotta look on the bright side
09:08all i gotta worry is about the demons inside me the dark times those will be like speechless times but
09:17i also gotta remind myself about the good times and the angels inside my deep in my heart
09:28but through it all i thought oh what the hell things are gonna be good all right i'll be fine
09:35got my together okay that's all i gotta say the only thing that could cure my depression
09:41was to get high lightheaded really so i just might as well fuck it if you think about it nowadays i don't
09:52feel like hurting myself i feel like i'm scared for my life that there's a possibility one day life could
10:01end in and it makes like i'm scared i really am but as to this point i gotta live it up be happy
10:12and enjoy life as long as i could i'm hoping for the best at this point in my life right now
10:20as i gotta step up to my everyday life not die trying and give up there is a golden point in my life
10:28life turns into greatness this is where the story ends and where my time begins this is my time
10:36my time to find myself be brave and stick through my responsibilities
10:52everything
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