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Junior Taskmaster Season 1 Episode 4

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00:00Right let's go
00:11Can you take this to my head?
00:15Cool plus cool
00:20That was quite pathetic, don't you think?
00:30Hello and welcome to Junior Taskmaster, my name is Rose Montefail and I'm the Junior Taskmaster
00:41And we've got everything the grown-up show has except instead of gross old comedians messing about with watermelons
00:48We've got sprightly youths with a get up and go attitude
00:52Messing around with watermelons, it's technically different, right?
00:56Now, throughout the series, 25 children will fight each other out for our amusement
01:01Kind of Hunger Games style, yeah?
01:03They'll battle through five heats and two semis in the hope of reaching the grand final and winning glory for their district
01:09It's kind of a Hunger Games show, fine
01:12And of course, this trophy!
01:14Wow!
01:18Right, wow
01:20It's made of solid gold, so if you don't like it, you can melt it down and buy a PS5 or whatever
01:26Now, tonight's winner will also take home all of the prize tasks
01:30However, the contestants who come first and second will both win a spot in the semifinals
01:36But who decides all of this?
01:38It's me! I'm in charge!
01:39Ha ha ha ha!
01:40So, let's meet tonight's contestants
01:43Please welcome
01:44Billy!
01:46Emily!
01:48Jamie!
01:50Ben!
01:52And Kyra!
01:57Now, I would like to introduce my assistant
01:59He lives in the country with his wife and kids
02:01But while he's here filming the show, I let him sleep on a camping bed in my kitchen
02:05It's Mike Bosnier!
02:06APPLAUSE
02:11Thank you, Rose
02:13Ultimately, this is a show about the dangers of playing truant in order to go into the woods
02:17And, well, not to put too fine a point on it, forage for mushrooms
02:21Often with very little or no fungus training
02:24Perhaps to make a ne'er-do-wells risotto or even a street-tough bolognese
02:29LAUGHTER
02:30So, remember the rule
02:31Don't be a totes to a fool
02:33Stay in school
02:34Cool
02:37APPLAUSE
02:41You know what, I actually applied for Funker School once
02:43But they didn't have much room for me
02:45Laugh!
02:46Laugh!
02:47Laugh!
02:49Thank you!
02:50APPLAUSE
02:53Right, it's time for Mike to now reveal tonight's prize task
02:56Thank you, Rose
02:57Well, given that British children are notoriously bloodthirsty
03:01For this week's prize task, we thought they'd enjoy bringing in the object
03:04That would be most useful in a zombie apocalypse
03:08The winner of this episode gets to take everybody else's anti-zombie kit home with them
03:12So let's open the gates of hell on this family show and see what the kids have to offer
03:17Well, I want to start with Billy
03:20I brought in a cactus
03:23A cactus?
03:24So, the big cactus you can use to hit the zombies
03:29Right!
03:30Yeah
03:31And the small ones you can throw at the ground and they'll be like
03:34Bibi traps
03:36Yeah
03:37And they'll just be like
03:38Ow
03:40Ow
03:42Ow
03:43Ow
03:44Well, after the zombies, like, are like, okay, I'm done with this
03:50Why?
03:51You can just recollect the cactus
03:53I see
03:54Yeah, but they can go round the cactuses, can't they?
03:59Are you building a sort of fortress of cacti or are you carrying them around in a sort of cactus scabbard?
04:03Yeah, I guess a cactus scabbard thing
04:05Yeah?
04:06Yeah, I don't even know what a scabbard is and you just said it to a child
04:08What is a scabbard?
04:10Basically, it's like a sheep like a sword or something
04:13Oh, I feel silly now
04:17Strong start
04:18Pretty strong start, to be fair
04:20Right, Emily, what have you brought in?
04:22So I brought in mint oil because, for zombies, mint makes a really big stink
04:29Eventually, they will stay away from you
04:31At least what we searched up on Google
04:34Oh!
04:35Okay, okay, okay
04:36No one ever said we couldn't do that
04:38That wasn't a rule
04:39You were getting quite defensive, Emily
04:42Where does the mint oil go, exactly?
04:44Spray it on them, they'll be dead without any breath
04:47Oh, it also kills zombies
04:49Kills them as well
04:50But makes them smell minty fresh
04:52That's fantastic
04:53Not for them
04:54Not for them
04:55Right, okay
04:57I'd like to imagine zombies, like, answering things on Google Answers
05:00Being like, yeah, we don't like mint oil
05:03Jamie, what is your object that will be the best in a zombie apocalypse?
05:08Roller skates with fireworks
05:13There they are
05:18So you've got to get away
05:20So you've got roller skates
05:21Yep
05:22But if you really, really need to get away
05:24You've got fireworks
05:29Are you worried about singeing trousers?
05:31No
05:34What would you be wearing?
05:35This
05:36Oh, right
05:37You're a short man
05:38Yeah
05:39What if, like, a zombie is like
05:40Whoa, who's that cool dude on the roller skates with fireworks?
05:43I want to follow him and be his friend slash eat him, right?
05:48Well, the fireworks
05:49They have sparks
05:50Sparks will get in their eyes
05:52They'll close your eyes
05:53Then I can go
05:55This is wild
05:56Okay
05:57Kef, what is your object that would be the best in a zombie apocalypse?
06:00Well, I brought in a zombie survival kit
06:04Okay
06:05First I thought I'd bring a bat
06:07To hit them with
06:08Or play baseball if I got bored
06:11Okay
06:12Bit of a hobby and a weapon
06:14That's fantastic
06:15So we've got bats
06:16Yes, wonderful
06:17There's also a map
06:18And a rope
06:19Okay
06:20I also brought in a gas mask
06:21Um
06:22So then I can, like, breathe
06:24Because the zombies might smell
06:26I smell a little mint oil
06:28Yeah
06:31Um
06:32Kef
06:33It is very responsible
06:34But a bit
06:35I don't know
06:36It's not
06:37Live a little
06:38Throw a cactus
06:39Do you know what I mean?
06:40Alright
06:41Now
06:42Kyra
06:43What do you got for me
06:44In the zombie apocalypse?
06:45I pop up a coffin
06:47There it is
06:52So I'd love you to explain to me why
06:54This would be helpful in the zombie apocalypse
06:56For one
06:58The zombies are already think you're dead
07:00So they'll just leave you alone
07:01Oh
07:02Right
07:03So the idea is to get into the coffin
07:05Yeah
07:06Wow
07:07So that was for one
07:08Was there a for two?
07:09Yeah
07:10And you can also store snacks inside of it
07:11So
07:12So
07:13You can stay in there as long as you want
07:19It's a coffin that pops up
07:20So is it kind of like inflate
07:21It looks like an inflatable or something
07:22It doesn't
07:23It's not inflatable
07:24You just like set it up
07:26Right
07:27Like a travel coffin
07:28Yeah
07:29Technically
07:30Right a coffin on the go
07:31Yeah
07:32For the businessman or woman
07:33You know
07:34What were you thinking Rose?
07:36Alright
07:37Even though
07:38It was a good sell
07:40It was a good sell
07:41I don't know whether or not
07:42The zombie mint oil thing
07:43Is necessarily true
07:45So it will be one point to Emily
07:46Right
07:47Two points I think goes to
07:49Billy
07:50The cactus is a good idea
07:51But that's what I'm saying
07:53Kif
07:54I'm going to give you three points
07:55Four points to Jamie
07:56With the roller skate
07:57But five points to Kyra
07:58With the pop-up coffin
07:59I mean come on
08:00I love it
08:01I love it
08:02I'm a morbid girl
08:03Right
08:04It is time for the first task of the night
08:08What have we got Mikey boy?
08:09Ice cream headaches
08:10Seagull attacks
08:11Swimming trunks that you didn't realise
08:12Went out of fashion in 1972
08:14Just some of the things that can go wrong
08:16On a trip to the seaside
08:17So
08:18We've cut all of that out of this next task
08:20And just left the best bits
08:21The sand castles
08:22And of course
08:23The plinths
08:39Hello Emily
08:40Hello
08:41Mr
08:43Hello
08:46Hello Kif
08:47Hello Kyra
08:48Hello Mike
08:52Jamie
08:53Hello
08:54How are you?
08:55Good thanks
08:56Hello Billy
08:57Hi
08:59Can I read it?
09:00I think that's a great idea
09:04Without damaging the sandcastle
09:06Transfer the sandcastle
09:08From plinth A to plinth B
09:10To plinth B
09:11The least damaged sandcastle wins
09:13You have five minutes
09:14Your time starts now
09:16Okay
09:17Wait my question is
09:18How did you make a perfect sandcastle on that?
09:21That's like impossible
09:22Some of us have just got it
09:24When it comes to sandcastles
09:25When it comes to sandcastles
09:26I just want to punch it
09:27I just want to punch it
09:35Kyra your first reaction was like
09:37How do you build a sandcastle that perfect?
09:40Which I took it as a compliment at the time
09:41But I realised she was just suspicious
09:42That something was going to happen
09:43Yeah
09:44Did everyone like making sandcastles?
09:46No
09:47You hate it?
09:48No
09:49Like you're so happy to build a sandcastle
09:50Yeah
09:51You take the thing off
09:52It's all collapsing
09:53Yeah
09:54The follies of youth
09:55Yeah
09:56You're a fan of making them
09:58I
09:59Do
10:00Like making them
10:01But
10:02Actually
10:03No
10:04No
10:05Think about it
10:06That's not really much point
10:07Did we just watch someone have an existential crisis?
10:10Yeah
10:11Yeah
10:12Stranger nihilism
10:14Um
10:15Mike who's first?
10:16Okay
10:17Well let's see how Emily got on
10:18Shall we?
10:24What are you thinking?
10:25I'm just going to look around
10:27So I'm going to go
10:28In here
10:31What are you looking for in the shed?
10:32Hey
10:33Talk me through
10:34What are you thinking?
10:35You'll see
10:36You'll see
10:37I'll see?
10:38Yes you'll see
10:39Okay
10:40So what is this portrait?
10:42Like it could be a portrait of me
10:44I'm going to bend the rules
10:46How are you going to bend the rules?
10:47Which rules?
10:48You'll see
10:49You'll see
10:50I'll bend loads of rules here
10:57Do you feel like you've damaged the sandcastle at all?
11:03Erm
11:04A little bit
11:06A lot maybe
11:07I don't care
11:08We're going to rebuild it
11:09What sort of things do you use to make sandcastles nearly?
11:10You'll see
11:11You'll see
11:12You'll see
11:13You'll see
11:14This has become a catchphrase
11:15So I'm putting this in
11:16So I can rebuild the whole thing
11:19Is that possible?
11:23We need to do so quickly
11:2530 seconds
11:2630 seconds?
11:27Ok
11:28Just hello Rose
11:29And where's daddy Rose?
11:31Daddy Rose
11:32I'm done
11:34Thank you Emily
11:36Bye bye
11:37Thank you Emily
11:38Bye bye
11:39OK
11:40I want your first thoughts
11:56I had basically done it
11:58You said bring the sandcastle
11:59But you never said we couldn't bring the sandcastle apart
12:02I mean that's flimsy logic there
12:06I gotta say
12:07Fuck
12:08Emily
12:09There is so much that I love about this
12:11Like first of all
12:12What's this daddy Rose business?
12:14Who's daddy Rose?
12:16Where
12:17Is
12:18Daddy
12:19Rose?
12:20I'm asking Rose a question
12:21Where's her daddy?
12:25Ok
12:26That was unexpected
12:28I don't know who my daddy is Emily
12:30I'll find him one day
12:33But
12:34I would have to say
12:35There was a bit of a catchphrase forming in this
12:38I mean you know what I'm about to say
12:40No I don't
12:41You'll see you'll see
12:42You'll see you'll see
12:44You'll see
12:45You'll see in the future
12:46Yeah
12:47Like patience is the key
12:51Maybe learn from that
12:52Right I think these guys need a little time to cool off while we have a break
12:57Shall I get the ice baths ready?
12:58I think so
12:59Yeah
13:00See you shortly
13:01Thank you
13:02Thank you
13:03Thank you
13:04Thank you
13:05Thank you
13:06Thank you
13:07Thank you
13:08Thank you
13:09Thank you
13:10Thank you
13:11Thank you
13:12Thank you
13:13Thank you
13:14Thank you
13:15Hello and welcome back to Junior Taskmaster
13:17What's next on the agenda Mike?
13:19Here's Kyra
13:20Here's Jamie
13:21Here's Kef
13:22So
13:23What are you thinking?
13:24I've got to move that over there
13:29Move the pink
13:31Yeah I'll move this one over here so it's easier
13:34I need something I can scoop it up with
13:38Can I go in the shed?
13:39Are you going to do your goofy walk?
13:41Goofy walk?
13:42What do you mean?
13:43What kind of thing are you looking for?
13:46Shovel
13:47Is there like a shovel or something in here?
13:50What's your plan?
13:52You've got a massive flipper
13:53Yeah
13:54Pick it up with a flipper
13:55Yeah
13:56Pick it up without the flipper
13:58No, that's not working
14:07Oh God it's falling apart
14:09How do you normally move a sand castle?
14:11Well I don't usually move them
14:13What do you normally use for moving stuff between plinths?
14:17Um, usually my hands or something
14:20Just your hands
14:21No that isn't going to work
14:27Got 90 seconds left
14:2890 seconds?
14:3090 seconds left
14:33What are you thinking?
14:34Could I switch the stickers around by chance?
14:40It's completely destroyed it
14:42Yes
14:43Yes
14:44It's working
14:49There we go
14:50Now this
14:51Looks like this
14:52Eh?
14:53No
14:54Oh no my shoes
14:56Come off you little bum bum poo poo head
15:00Can you detect any element of damage at all?
15:03No
15:04No?
15:06Got 10 seconds left
15:08Shush!
15:10As now or never
15:16That's not very good
15:19Look at them
15:20Look there's still a bee
15:22Thanks Kyra
15:23Lovely
15:24Thanks Kef
15:25How do you think that went?
15:26Alright
15:28Sure?
15:29No
15:40It was the move of the plinths crew
15:41I love it
15:42Now
15:43Okay
15:44Jamie and Kef
15:45You went for very very different tools
15:46I feel
15:47Kef did you go for a flipper?
15:49I couldn't find these shovels
15:51Right
15:52And then uh
15:53Jamie
15:54Tennis rackets are notoriously full of holes
15:56So as a utensil to try and get sand from one thing to another
16:01It wasn't that successful was it?
16:03No I don't think it was
16:06Didn't enjoy that
16:07It showed incredible strength and stoicism in that
16:09I mean it was driving rain wasn't it?
16:12Didn't complain at all about that
16:13The only complaint you had was when some sand went on your shoes
16:16That was it
16:17Yeah
16:18Now Kyra
16:19I gotta say you're a thinker
16:20I love how you approach the plinths
16:22It wasn't all calm
16:23It wasn't
16:24It wasn't
16:25You did when you were taking off the bee
16:26I think you were
16:27How did you describe it?
16:28A little bum bum poo poo head
16:30Because it was a bum bum poo poo head
16:35Can't argue with that
16:37I would love to see how Billy got on Mike
16:40Certainly
16:41Here you go
16:42Okay
16:43What are you thinking Billy?
16:45To the shed
16:47Tape, tape, tape tape, tape tape
16:50I know �ath
16:51Right
16:54What's the plan here?
16:55You're eating the sellotape first, eh?
16:56No
16:57It's cutting it
17:00This is a tricky part
17:02Making the A peninsula
17:04look like it's a B peninsula
17:07I'm finished.
17:17Done.
17:18Done?
17:19A and B.
17:25Thanks, Kelly.
17:26Yeah.
17:28You off?
17:29Yeah.
17:37It's amazing.
17:38You must be pretty pleased with yourself with that.
17:43The results speak for themselves.
17:45Basically, I was thinking,
17:47hey, why don't I just say that it's on pedestal B
17:51when it's on pedestal A?
17:53Then I saw that I had the A on it,
17:55so I was like, hey, why don't I cover up the A?
17:58So then I went to the shed,
18:00I got the tape,
18:02I went back out,
18:04and I taped the letter on.
18:07You seem to walk in a very similar way zombies walk.
18:10That's, uh, what I've noticed, actually.
18:12Although I've got to say,
18:13that B could be an eight.
18:14I don't want to be that guy.
18:16That B looked like it could be a bit of an eight.
18:19Did that B look like an eight?
18:21Do not go all eight.
18:23Hang on now.
18:24You're trying to appeal to the crowd here.
18:27I've got to point out one thing.
18:29OK.
18:30I actually switched it around.
18:31He just covered them up.
18:33Ooh.
18:36Which means,
18:37there was still technically a B under the A,
18:40and an A under the B.
18:42But if you think about it,
18:44the tape was half on it.
18:46It was half on it.
18:47What difference does that make?
18:49OK, OK, OK.
18:50Now we're not going to get domestic.
18:52You both did very, very clever things,
18:54and yet you're fighting.
18:55You're two geniuses fighting.
18:57It's like, it's like Mozart and Salieri.
18:59I hate it.
19:00Now, I do want to see all of these sandcastles next to each other,
19:05if that's possible.
19:06Your wish is my command.
19:07Mm-hmm.
19:08Oh, no.
19:09Jamie!
19:10Let's begin with Emily.
19:12If anything, you've added something to the plinth there.
19:15Kef, you've kind of maintained the integrity of the top of the castle,
19:19which I do like.
19:20Jamie, yeah, it's halfway between two plinths,
19:23but it's got the flag on top.
19:25I do appreciate that.
19:27And then, obviously, Billy and Kyra,
19:29look, those are some perfect castles,
19:31and they're on plinth B.
19:33Now, Emily, it did look an absolute mess.
19:36So, we will be giving you one point.
19:38Jamie, I'm going to give you two points.
19:39Kef, three points.
19:40Look, I am actually compelled by Kyra's argument
19:43in the sense that there was an A under the B,
19:46whereas you did take the full B off.
19:49It's minor things.
19:51It's minor things, but guess what?
19:53I'm an adult and can do what I like.
19:55So, four points to Billy and five points to Kyra,
19:58but well done!
19:59Well done!
20:00APPLAUSE
20:07All right, shall we see how that looks on the scoreboard?
20:10Well, here it is.
20:11Emily's on two points.
20:12There's Billy, Jamie and Kef all in the middle with six,
20:15and Kyra, at the moment, streaks ahead with ten.
20:18APPLAUSE
20:22All right.
20:23All righty, I would like to see another task now, please.
20:26Ooh, it's a choice one, this.
20:28Now, we know that these contestants are five
20:30of the most physically powerful children in the land,
20:33but can they do strategic thinking?
20:49Jamie.
20:50Hello.
20:52Hello, mate.
20:53Hello, Kyra.
20:54Hello.
20:55Hello.
20:56Hello.
20:57Kef.
20:58Hello.
20:59Hello.
21:00Billy.
21:01Hi.
21:14Hello.
21:15Hello, Emily.
21:16Feeling ready?
21:17Yeah.
21:18Shall we task it up?
21:19Yes.
21:20OK.
21:24Do one of these five things.
21:25Take five pounds, paint your face blue, eat a lemon, dress up like Mike,
21:31go to the caravan, open the door and shout,
21:35I'm on a caravan holiday.
21:37If you are the only person to do your chosen thing, you win five points.
21:43If anyone else does the same thing you choose, you get zero points.
21:47You have five minutes.
21:48Time starts now.
21:49I'm thinking people are going to overthink it.
21:50You're thinking about people overthinking.
21:51Yeah.
21:52See if I take the five part, do I get to keep it?
21:53What do you think?
21:54You're thinking about people overthinking.
21:55Yeah.
21:56See if I take the five part, do I get to keep it?
21:59What do you think?
22:00What do you think?
22:12Wow.
22:13Tricky, tricky.
22:14Bit of a mind game one here.
22:16All or nothing.
22:17You know, five points if you choose something that no one else chooses,
22:20nothing if you choose something that anyone else chooses.
22:23I do want to say, Kev, I love thinking about overthinking.
22:26That was a real mind-bending thing, wasn't it?
22:29I was overthinking overthinking.
22:31You were overthinking overthinking?
22:33That's wild.
22:35Kyra, you were quite interested in the five, weren't you?
22:38What might you have spent that on?
22:40Go to a theme park.
22:42Oh, Mark's getting you a lot there.
22:44It's a discount, I'm friends with the owner.
22:49So, what have we got now?
22:53Shall we then see how Kyra, Jamie and Emily fit?
22:57Yes.
22:58OK.
22:59Here we go.
23:04What are you thinking?
23:05I don't know.
23:06Definitely don't dress up like you, because...
23:08I don't know.
23:10I think there's going to be, like, two people that shout the caravan thing.
23:14Paint the face blue.
23:15Because, like, no-one would want to do that to their face.
23:24Someone's definitely silly enough to paint yourself blue.
23:27I don't know.
23:28I don't know.
23:29You didn't fancy the five pound note or the lemons?
23:33I think someone would eat the lemons, you know.
23:36Do you?
23:37I think I might eat a lemon.
23:39Right.
23:40I'm going to eat it like I can eat an orange.
23:52Tell me why you've made that decision.
23:53Because I think no-one else will do it.
23:55Mm-hm.
23:56How's that?
23:57Yeah, it's really nice.
23:58Mm-hm.
23:59What do you think you look like?
24:00I think I look like a puslet.
24:04What would make it go down smoother?
24:07Erm, if I had water.
24:08Mm-hm.
24:09Would you like some water?
24:10Yeah.
24:11I bet you would.
24:14Everything all right?
24:15what would make it go down smoother I had water mm-hmm would you like some
24:24water yeah I bet you would
24:28oh god what's gonna happen to you later
24:35oh god thank you Jamie how do you feel not very good thanks Emily bye I'll take the
24:56fiber all matter as well is that okay all the information's in the task no one
25:15else would paint their face blue why was that I thought because I was all your
25:19thoughts trust me I don't know I looked like I was doing skincare old lady who
25:27has crusty musty skin Jamie you are the greatest actor of our generation I think
25:39at one point Mike asked if that was that was good you it yeah it's nice I had cut
25:45to my lips that's how you find out isn't it at the idea the very prospect of
25:56dressing up as Mike Cara you did not react well today you said definitely don't
26:01dress up like you Mike why is that you can see it come on I'm only joking makes my
26:10best time to power down for a few minutes and have a little rest see you after
26:22the break
26:36how was that break for you where did you go what did you see tell me everything
26:39wait no sorry we don't have time for that I don't have a watch on that's not
26:44your business okay who's next shall we see what happened with Billy and Kev yes
26:51okay Kev what's it gonna be what are you thinking I'm thinking take the five pounds
26:55why is that well just because I think all the people would like to eat lemons and paint
27:01their face blue what are you thinking Billy eating a lemon straight to the lemon you've
27:09made your decision
27:16yeah
27:18yeah
27:23yeah
27:28so quite a lot of the lemon seems to be coming straight back out again
27:30why don't you want to paint your face blue I don't like painting nice suit
27:39thank you I do really want to go to the calabana shop that will decisions decisions
27:45eh
27:46what does it taste of
27:52your pain
27:55your pain
27:56your pain
27:57I think I'm gonna go to the caravan
28:00you're gonna go to the caravan
28:01yep
28:02okay I mean you're lurching heavily between choice to choice
28:06how's that good so you think they won't like the caravan but they will like the lemons
28:15honestly I just kind of want to paint my face blue now
28:17are you gonna read the peel
28:19no one knows no one knows do I know I don't know I just like going I like the caravan
28:30I like the caravan
28:32have you made a decision
28:34yep
28:35good
28:36am I blue
28:37am I blue
28:38awww
28:39awww
28:40awww
28:41awww
28:42awww
28:43awww
28:44awww
28:45awww
28:46awww
28:47awww
28:48awww
28:49awww
28:50awww
28:53awww
28:54awww
28:55awww
28:56awww
28:57awww
28:58awww
28:59I should have gone to the caravan
29:00awww
29:01right
29:02see I could feel the pain in that indecision
29:04where as Billy straight for the lemons there
29:07and
29:09that just looked honestly hideous
29:11I...
29:12I think most of it went on the floor instead of down my stomach
29:16right
29:17they had fun whilst we were going through absolute pain
29:20it hu ranks
29:22it was your decision
29:23awww
29:24it was his decision
29:25awww
29:26they've become self- policing
29:27awww
29:28I don't know. I have no clue why you're all arguing. You all did terribly on that.
29:33You all equally did terribly. So there's no point in arguing there.
29:37You did nothing. You just... Really?
29:41Look, I might be feeling generous. I could be like,
29:45Oh, I want to give a bonus point to someone who really made me laugh or I really like.
29:48But guess what? I'm not going to.
29:51So it means no points for any of you.
29:55Ah, yeah. Good, good, good, good, good, good. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:01Just tell me what the next task is like.
30:03Well, this is a ticking clock time pressure task requiring stone-cold tenacity
30:07and the ability to move pebbles with your mind or hands.
30:10LAUGHTER
30:25Hello, Kath. Hello.
30:31Mike. Hello.
30:33Hello, mister.
30:35Hello, miss.
30:37Hi.
30:41Hello, Jamie. Hello.
30:43Stones.
30:45Bang on. What does he make of the caravan?
30:48It's nice.
30:49You a caravan kind of guy?
30:51Nothing wrong with him.
30:53I'm going to see what I need to do.
30:56OK.
30:57Leave no stone unturned.
31:01When you have turned over all of the stones,
31:04you must put your hands in your head and shout,
31:06No stone is unturned!
31:08Most turned stones wins.
31:10You have five minutes. Your time starts now.
31:14What are you thinking?
31:15Eh, turn over all of the stones.
31:17Yeah? It's a simple strategy, isn't it?
31:19Yep.
31:20But I like it.
31:21You have five minutes.
31:24What's the last line?
31:26Your time starts now.
31:30APPLAUSE
31:31Wow.
31:33Wow.
31:36Very interesting.
31:37Is that the first time in a caravan for anyone?
31:39Really?
31:40What?
31:43Jamie, do you go on caravan holidays?
31:45Uh, yeah.
31:46Do you?
31:47Where have you been?
31:48Um, I go to Cromer and somewhere else.
31:53I love somewhere else.
31:54Both great spots.
31:55Both great spots.
31:57I must say, during that task, Mike was very annoying.
32:01You'd all agree that Mike was very annoying?
32:03Yeah.
32:04Oh, well, Jamie actually seems like you're holding out.
32:07You're actually quite kind to Mike.
32:08Am I?
32:10LAUGHTER
32:12I see them agreeing about something, though, isn't it?
32:15That they're all...
32:16They're nice and strong.
32:17Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:18Well, look, this is a pretty down, straightforward task.
32:20Shall we see how some of them got on, Mike?
32:22Yes, please.
32:23First up, it's Billy and Emily.
32:25Mmm.
32:26Have you got a strategy?
32:31Not really.
32:35I'm thinking just to turn over the stones.
32:37Just turning over the stones.
32:41You a stone guy?
32:42Yeah.
32:43Geology guy?
32:44No stones unturned.
32:45Are you quite sure?
32:46No.
32:47You've got three minutes left.
32:48No stones unturned.
32:49No stones unturned.
32:50Are you quite sure?
32:52No.
32:57You've got three minutes left.
33:00No stones unturned.
33:02OK.
33:03WHISTLE BLOWS
33:05Oh.
33:11What have you found?
33:12I found...
33:13Another bit of stones, a bit of blue tack, but I don't know why that's there.
33:20You happy?
33:21No.
33:23God.
33:24Thanks, Billy.
33:25No, not...
33:26Not yet.
33:27We've blown the whistle.
33:28Dang it!
33:29Dang it.
33:30Dang it?
33:31Are you from 8067 Oklahoma?
33:35There's stones.
33:36Over there.
33:37And over there.
33:38And over there.
33:39And over there.
33:40And over there.
33:47See you soon.
33:48Bye.
33:49Bye.
33:53Who are your favourite singers?
33:54I don't have one.
33:56Do you like kind of sort of soul stuff?
33:58Huh?
33:59Solely pop.
34:00There's that, erm...
34:01What's the chops?
34:02What's the name?
34:03Joss?
34:04Hmm.
34:11No stones unturned.
34:13Done?
34:14Done.
34:15Yeah.
34:17WHISTLE BLOWS
34:18Thank you, Emily.
34:19Not done.
34:20Not done.
34:21Thank you, Emily.
34:22Yes.
34:23I saw that.
34:24I saw that as well.
34:25I saw that.
34:26I saw that.
34:27I saw that as well.
34:28And I saw that.
34:29OK, bye.
34:30Bye.
34:31APPLAUSE
34:32You guys have watched it back.
34:33Would you have done any different strategies?
34:34Yes.
34:35I think it was a bit silly to put on top of the clock.
34:37Because, like, the clock is really high.
34:39Right.
34:40And, like, I'm a really shorty pants.
34:41I'm a shorty pants.
34:42So I wouldn't be able to reach it.
34:43OK.
34:44Billie?
34:45I would've actually looked around.
34:46We've all been there, and I think it takes a very mature person to just own up to it.
34:50So I enjoyed that.
34:51The clock is really high, and, like, I'm a really shorty-pants,
34:54I'm a shorty-pants, so I wouldn't be able to reach it.
34:58OK. Billy?
35:01I would have actually looked around.
35:08We've all been there, and I think it takes a very mature person
35:11to just own up to it, so I enjoyed that.
35:14Who else have we got, Mike?
35:15Well, now it's time to see how Jamie and Kef got on.
35:18Ooh.
35:21I've got to, like, turn them.
35:25Yeah.
35:26I'm just going to flick them all over.
35:29Is flicking the same as turning?
35:30No, not really.
35:32LAUGHTER
35:34Oh. Oh, God, there's loads!
35:37LAUGHTER
35:41What movie are you into?
35:43I don't know, like Harry Potter, um, Twilight...
35:48Well, what was the name of that?
35:51What was her name, the actor in the Police Academy short?
35:53No clue!
35:57I reckon there's something in the task that I'm missing.
35:59Is that your, kind of, fundamental gut impression?
36:02Your, er, sort of basic instinct, would you say?
36:05LAUGHTER
36:06Can't give her a name.
36:07I'll give her a name.
36:08Sharon.
36:17Ah!
36:18You're a stone.
36:19No, you're not.
36:20Oh, God!
36:21So many stones!
36:22What kind of music are you into?
36:23I like One Direction.
36:25So, who was it?
36:26She did the, er, Super Bowl in 2006.
36:27I won't be alive.
36:28Well, did you tape it or something?
36:29LAUGHTER
36:30What's over there?
36:31A big stone.
36:32How big are we talking?
36:33Like a superstar?
36:34Er, decent.
36:35Big enough to win a Grammy.
36:36LAUGHTER
36:37Get out!
36:38Who, me?
36:39Stone!
36:40Oh!
36:41Oh, don't!
36:42Thanks, Kef.
36:43I think I might have got...
36:44Thank you, Jamie.
36:46Bye!
36:47Bye!
36:48APPLAUSE
36:49Bye!
36:51Bye!
36:52Bye!
36:53I accidentally turned it over.
36:54Well, you did.
36:55We're only ten years old!
36:56Oh!
36:57Oh!
36:58Get out!
36:59Who, me?
37:00Oh!
37:01Oh, don't!
37:02Thanks, Kef.
37:03I think I might have got...
37:04Thank you, Jamie.
37:06Bye!
37:07Bye!
37:08Bye!
37:09You're both watching that back.
37:10You're like,
37:11Ugh!
37:12How did I miss, say, you know,
37:14Joss Stone or, I don't know,
37:16Sharon Stone, you know.
37:17I accidentally turned it over.
37:18Well, you did.
37:19Guilty as charged.
37:20I've, uh...
37:21Yeah, exactly.
37:22You know what, Jamie?
37:23I'm on your side.
37:24A lot of unofficial merchandise made it into that.
37:27Mike, did you make that yourself?
37:28Guilty as charged.
37:30I've, uh...
37:31I've actually...
37:32I've made some, uh, Kevin Costner coasters.
37:34Uh, give a fancy poppin' round mine over a weekend.
37:37Check them out.
37:38I'm busy every weekend.
37:39Um...
37:42Oh, hang on.
37:44What's that sound?
37:45What's that sound?
37:46What?
37:47It looks like it's the adverts.
37:49And they're coming this way.
37:50Save yourselves!
37:51Ah!
37:52Ah!
37:53APPLAUSE
37:55APPLAUSE
38:00APPLAUSE
38:01APPLAUSE
38:03Welcome back to the final part of the show.
38:08Michelle, my Belle, what's happening now?
38:10Before the break, we saw Jamie and Kef showing a real lack of knowledge
38:13of 80s Hollywood trivia.
38:15One more to go.
38:16It's Kyra.
38:22Shall we have a nice little chat while you're doing your stone turning?
38:24Yeah, no thanks.
38:25LAUGHTER
38:26Is this the sort of thing you've done before?
38:28No.
38:29Stone turning?
38:30No!
38:31Stone skimming?
38:32I said no!
38:34We can talk about films.
38:35One of the quite fun, won't it?
38:37You're so annoying, do you know that?
38:39LAUGHTER
38:40So, films-wise, best dog film?
38:43Marmaduke.
38:44It's a dog called Marmaduke, Great Dane.
38:46Um, falls in love with a border collie, I think it is,
38:49which sounds weird when you say it out loud, but ethically,
38:51if you think about it, it's probably OK.
38:53LAUGHTER
38:54Who played it?
38:56It was...
38:57What's her name?
39:02Emma something.
39:03Emma Pebble?
39:04Is it?
39:05No.
39:06Emma something.
39:07Anyway, very good film.
39:08Almost as...
39:09Is this Where Sleeping Dogs Lie?
39:11Although that's not really about a dog, is it?
39:13But it's got that, um...
39:15She's really good actor.
39:17What's her name?
39:18Sharon...
39:19Sharon...
39:20Oh, there's one.
39:21Oh, there's one.
39:22Sharon Granite?
39:23Is it?
39:24No, that's not it.
39:25Whoa.
39:26Why's that got a sticker on the back of it?
39:28I don't know.
39:29I'm just gonna leave that like that,
39:30cos it's got a sticker on the back.
39:33Oh, I found one!
39:34You found a what?
39:35Rock.
39:36Are you supposed to turn the rocks?
39:37Yeah, I turned it over.
39:38OK.
39:39You've got 30 seconds left.
39:41Ooh!
39:42What have you found now?
39:43I don't know.
39:44I cannae see.
39:48I can't see.
39:50Is there a stool or something?
39:52Open.
39:53What have you found?
39:54A cup with a teabag in it.
39:55OK.
39:56Why is there teabags in here?
39:57I don't know.
39:58The main question is what are you gonna do with your last 20 seconds?
39:59I don't know.
40:00Try to find some more rocks.
40:01Oh, there's...
40:02You found another cupboard?
40:03I don't like you!
40:04You don't mean that.
40:05I think that's it.
40:06No stone is unturned.
40:07Thank you, Clara.
40:08Yep.
40:09Thank you, Clara.
40:10Yep.
40:11APPLAUSE
40:12Pretty impressive.
40:13Yeah.
40:14At my point, Clara, you said, I don't like you to Mike.
40:15Yeah, because it was being so annoying.
40:16But look, maybe you want to take it back and maybe say something really nice about Mike.
40:30Do you have anything?
40:31Your hair looks nice.
40:32OK.
40:33That was...
40:34That didn't.
40:35That means a lot.
40:36That means a lot.
40:37That means a lot.
40:38That means a lot.
40:39That means a lot.
40:40That means a lot.
40:41That means a lot.
40:42That means a lot.
40:43But despite the relentless irritation, she nailed it.
40:45Do you want some stone cold stats?
40:46I would love some.
40:47OK.
40:48I can tell you that Billy turned over 70 stones, Emily turned over 109, Kev turned over 128 stones,
40:53Jamie turned over 109 and Jamie turned over 209.
40:56Jamie turned over a whopping 135 stones, but Kyra turned over 137.
41:12OK.
41:13There is a side note, of course, that two people didn't put their hands on their head and say,
41:19no, stone is unturned.
41:20How do you rule on that?
41:21What am I going to do?
41:22Honestly, with the vibe that you guys have as a group, I would not want to be walking in the car park after the show.
41:33If I do take this away from some of you, so I'm just going to go as the stones are.
41:39OK.
41:40So that would be one point to Billy, two to Emily, three to Kaf, four to Jamie and five points to Kyra.
41:45Well done.
41:47All right.
41:51All righty.
41:52What has that done to the scores?
41:53I can tell you it's very tight in the middle, Billy on seven, Kev on nine, Jamie on ten.
41:57Soaring ahead is Kyra with 15 points.
42:03All right.
42:06OK.
42:07You little legends, it's time to make your way over to the stage for the final task of the show.
42:12Who is reading the task tonight?
42:23Mike?
42:24Jamie's going to do the honours.
42:25Please, Jamie.
42:28Stack the toilet rolls into a tower.
42:30When Mike honks his horn, you must move down two spaces to the left.
42:34Mike will honk his horn five times.
42:37Tallest tower on Mike's final whistle wins.
42:40OK.
42:41So there's going to be five honks.
42:43BUZZER
42:44Sounds like that.
42:45Apart from the starting honk.
42:47BUZZER
42:48Which doesn't count.
42:49So it's move two spaces to the left when you move.
42:52We actually need to run round our kids.
42:54Yeah, yeah.
42:55Round the back.
42:56You run round the back, you'd end up here, yeah?
42:58Yes.
42:59So one, two.
43:00Billy, where would you end up for the first one?
43:02Where Jamie is?
43:03Yeah.
43:04Brilliant.
43:05I'm going to grab that off you.
43:06Everybody happy?
43:07Yeah.
43:08Yeah.
43:09Very best of luck.
43:10On my honk.
43:11Begin.
43:12BUZZER
43:13APPLAUSE
43:15BUZZER
43:21BUZZER
43:22Move two spaces, please, to your left.
43:24Move two spaces.
43:25Yeah, I know, a trick.
43:27Keep it simple, please.
43:44BUZZER
43:46BUZZER
43:48BUZZER
43:49BUZZER
43:50BUZZER
43:51BUZZER
43:52BUZZER
43:53BUZZER
43:54BUZZER
43:55BUZZER
43:56BUZZER
43:57BUZZER
43:58BUZZER
43:59BUZZER
44:00BUZZER
44:01BUZZER
44:02BUZZER
44:03BUZZER
44:04BUZZER
44:05BUZZER
44:06BUZZER
44:07BUZZER
44:08BUZZER
44:09BUZZER
44:10BUZZER
44:11BUZZER
44:12BUZZER
44:13BUZZER
44:14BUZZER
44:15BUZZER
44:16I've lost all faith in humanity.
44:28Okay, cool.
44:29All right.
44:29Calm on down.
44:31We're going to count those towers,
44:32and we're going to have a good, hard think about who we are as people.
44:35All right?
44:36Get back down here.
44:37Well, that was May again.
44:48I know everyone was all over the place.
44:50Some people were standing in the wrong places.
44:52There were toilet rolls everywhere.
44:54But we have totted up the toilet rolls.
44:56We have counted it.
44:57We've gone to VAR.
44:58We've done everything.
44:59And we're going to go by these numbers.
45:01Points-wise, Lois Tower with two rolls.
45:03One point.
45:04Billy.
45:05Joint coming in next,
45:06and so both with three points.
45:08Jamie and Kef.
45:09Kyra managed four rolls,
45:10and the winner with six rolls.
45:13Emily.
45:14Oh, well done.
45:16Well done, I think.
45:19All of you could do might be all getting any points for that.
45:23Let's go into the final scores, Mike.
45:25Well, strap yourself in, Rose,
45:27because the runner-up and the winner
45:28will be going through to the semis,
45:30so we're hitting the big-time Madam Dangerless show business,
45:33if I may use your middle name.
45:34You may not.
45:35Fair enough.
45:35OK, here it comes.
45:39In fifth place, with eight points,
45:41it is Billy.
45:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:43Tied after that in fourth place,
45:46with nine points, it's Emily.
45:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:49In third, with 12 points, it's Kef.
45:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:54With 13 points, and therefore going through to the semis.
45:57Coming in second place, it's Jamie.
45:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:00Which means...
46:02Tonight's winner is Kyra!
46:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:06Go on up and collect the things that will be most useful
46:09in the copy apocalypse!
46:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:12Wow.
46:14Another episode done and dusted.
46:16Well done and compliments to the chef.
46:18Let's hear it all like a distance.
46:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE