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00:00 The Archie and Sabrina Surprise Package.
00:03 That's a lesser known Sabrina show, which Wikipedia calls the New Archie and Sabrina Hour.
00:08 But my problem with it is that a lot more of the Sabrina episodes have plot holes so big you can see them from the summary.
00:15 I don't want to see a Sabrina story where inexplicable mirror image cousin wreaks havoc on Riverdale.
00:22 When it's obvious she'd just use magic to instantly stop her.
00:27 So it seems like a darker take on the series, which is just completely missing the original brilliance in the first place.
00:34 She wouldn't ask Reggie on a date either.
00:38 I'll start by reviewing which picnic.
00:41 Because at least with a thing that could've prevented its plot, it's believable that she didn't do it.
00:48 Archie and her friends have nothing to do, so Sabrina suggests they have a picnic.
00:53 Archie says great idea, and she says they should go to the woods.
00:58 So the plot's her fault when it could've easily not been.
01:01 Zelda's at home counting party favors in her bank.
01:05 Too bad she didn't think of casting a spell so that someone else could count them for her.
01:12 Hilda expects Sabrina to go with her aunts to a party because Della wants that for no reason.
01:18 It's so mean of her because she wants to do something else.
01:22 By an unlikely coincidence, the party's gonna be in the same woods.
01:26 Sabrina hopes Della will change her mind, and Della warps to her right away, as apparently she was spying on her and not someone else.
01:35 Sabrina tells her the location is too close to mortals.
01:39 Della's fine with that because she looks forward to turning them into animals, as she hates mortals.
01:45 But it's apparently too lazy to get rid of all of them.
01:48 You would think she wouldn't want mortals to find witches.
01:54 But logically, witches think they're better than mortals, and while they care about mortals discovering their secrets,
02:00 if they can turn them into animals, just because they're mean, because it could easily just brainwash them into walking away.
02:07 Sabrina fails to convince her friends not to picnic in Riverdale Woods, for some reason.
02:13 It'd have made more sense if the location was someone else's idea than hers then.
02:18 At first, the witches' convention doesn't have Sabrina in it.
02:21 Jughead tries to chase a football, which falls into Della's cauldron and splashes her.
02:27 Not that anything interesting seems to happen.
02:30 Reggie wants to follow Sabrina, and she tells him she wants to stroll alone.
02:35 If she was really smart, she'd brainwash him into not wanting to follow her.
02:40 But it's believable that she'd think that was wrong.
02:43 In fact, that has to be why she didn't brainwash her friends into agreeing to a different picnic location.
02:49 She tells Della to wait instead of casting her spell, and makes an excuse that she should wait until everyone gets here.
02:56 Because Ambrose isn't here yet.
02:59 Ambrose warps to her with his voice more ridiculous than ever and shows off with magic.
03:04 Della uses magic on the football, and Sabrina thanks Ambrose for the idea he apparently gave her, and warps away.
03:12 She uses magic and says a spell involving the word "forget".
03:17 Ambrose reveals to her he can contact her while invisible.
03:21 And at one point, she has to remind him that his head's showing.
03:25 After all of his experience with magic, there's no reason that his head would go back to showing.
03:31 Jughead wouldn't just say, "Hey, what's this?"
03:35 He'd freak out.
03:36 Sabrina uses magic to cover that up.
03:39 Moose jumps in a beanbag, and Della gets splashed with more liquid from the cauldron.
03:45 It's funny that it happens after she says, "Cover us with blurry!"
03:49 Reggie says sorry to her, and Sabrina keeps Della from abusing magic on them by warping her friends to safety and using a spell to make the witches forget what they saw.
04:00 Della finishes her final warning off-screen to any of the witches that dared to thwart her magic.
04:06 So it's satisfying when a football splashes her again.
04:10 But it's lame that this is all that's happening to her.
04:13 Sabrina talks out loud that she's used balloons and clouds will get them out of here.
04:18 Obviously, the people around her would hear her.
04:21 But instead, Della doesn't know who saved her friends.
04:25 And sadly, we don't see her cast another forget spell.
04:29 So I have to assume it happened off-screen to have this make sense.
04:33 Why would she use clouds instead of warping Archie to safety when Archie ended up falling from the clouds to the ground and that hurt him?
04:40 I guess she wanted to punish him for always saving Veronica instead of Betty.
04:45 Her friends insist on trying to get to the witch convention.
04:48 And because Carlos says the witches he saw seemed like amusement park people because they were weird, Sabrina moves the amusement park to the woods.
04:58 She should have just summoned a new one.
05:01 And I don't think he would have even said that.
05:03 Then because her friends are broke, she summons tickets for them.
05:07 Which they somehow don't lampshade the convenience of.
05:11 After Sabrina's first segment in the show, there's another babysitting episode.
05:16 And I already explained why that's a bad plot idea plenty of times.
05:21 After that, I'll be expected to believe a storm would have her magic not work.
05:26 And now there's a plot where I'm supposed to believe that Sabrina's experienced aunts couldn't instantly undo a spell.
05:33 At least body switching stories are interesting.
05:36 So maybe I'll think the plot was worth it.
05:38 It starts with Archie and his friends going on a rollercoaster and playing a game where they keep their eyes closed the whole time.
05:45 And because of that, which could have easily not happened, they aren't aware that they end up going off the track and landing on another track.
05:53 Which I'd expect them to get hurt from or worse.
05:57 That wasn't necessary.
05:59 It would have been more believable if Sabrina caused that to happen and her magic was protecting them.
06:06 Then I'm somehow expected to believe Sabrina wouldn't know how to make a handsome prince out of a frog, no matter how hard she tries.
06:14 That was stupid in a comedy page too.
06:17 Which I'm gonna review later. It wasn't on comics.org.
06:21 She summons an ugly person and it's all to tell Sabrina that she did it and she'll get her certification anyways.
06:28 Because witches think ugly people are pretty.
06:32 Sabrina then returns the frog to normal.
06:35 As I wonder why it was hard for her to simply imagine a frog with a human.
06:40 Then Sabrina's friends end up waiting outside the house of mirrors and Sabrina goes in.
06:47 They send Moose in there after her and Sabrina says she can get out of here and practice her magic at the same time.
06:54 She'd obviously just warp home.
06:56 Why does she have to choose now of all times to practice her magic?
07:00 Instead she says to give her powers by the score stronger than they were before.
07:05 And the beam hits Moose and switches their bodies.
07:09 When there's no reason that happened because she wouldn't want that and there's no way to get them out of here.
07:15 Because of what she said in her spell it sounds more like she's saying make her powers stronger.
07:21 And that can't be it.
07:23 If a witch could just cast a spell to make herself stronger then every witch would be as powerful as possible.
07:29 It's funny that their voices inexplicably switch.
07:32 Which can be at least sort of justified because it's witchcraft and not science that did it.
07:37 I have to assume as well that nobody notices the switched voices because of magic.
07:43 No never mind Veronica asks Sabrina if she caught a cold.
07:46 When obviously that wouldn't make her voice sound just like Moose.
07:50 Sabrina sees someone yelling a monkey and uses magic to make things better.
07:55 And then uses magic to make her friends forget they saw that.
07:59 Sabrina uses magic to make a basketball land in a net.
08:04 And then bounce and go into the other net and so on and so forth.
08:08 The ants could have easily not found out what happened to Sabrina.
08:12 Maybe they came to the park because she told them she'd be there.
08:16 But either way they would have warped her home.
08:19 At a witch's meeting at home Zelda tells Moose to snap out of it.
08:23 Calling her Sabrina.
08:25 When I thought she knew they switched bodies.
08:28 If that really was Sabrina she would have undone the spell already.
08:32 Sabrina decides to use magic to give her friends an interesting experience by actually making the thing they're in blast off like a rocket.
08:42 This would reveal witchcraft when it manages to safely land somehow.
08:46 But I guess she doesn't care because it won't be clear that she was responsible.
08:51 Then just when Zelda tells Moose to use magic, just in time the ant spell works.
08:57 And Sabrina returns to her body.
08:59 I just don't know why she didn't do that instantly.
09:03 It's so patient of Del to do a countdown when she's impatient right now.
09:08 There's no hurry for Sabrina to use magic to make the rocket return to the park from the moon.
09:14 So there's no reason that she would have done that instead of turning the frog into a human.
09:19 I don't like that she was told she got made a third class witch.
09:23 But we don't know what difference that makes.
09:26 Which keeps it from being too dark because they don't really care.
09:30 And if she was having trouble before then she would have had trouble anyway so it doesn't really matter.
09:36 Weatherbeat Fuddled looks logical and interesting on Wikipedia so I'll review it.
09:41 It starts with Sabrina's friends looking at a poster saying that they'll have to see a speech about superstitions and other nonsense at school.
09:48 This never happened at my school.
09:50 So I don't find it very believable especially because it's not like there's been an epidemic of people at school believing in superstitions and nonsense to justify Weatherbeat doing this first.
10:01 Which could have been Sabrina's fault.
10:03 Why is the poster on the window of Pop Tate's?
10:07 Jokehead says there's 12 years bad luck knocking on someone's head.
10:11 I never heard of that.
10:13 It's not like them to be superstitious.
10:16 He walks under a ladder and doesn't care that there's a black cat.
10:21 Then he says something silly I never heard about in front of a mirror to undo the bad luck.
10:26 Sabrina sees her aunt and Della in the audience in the superstitions presentation in the school.
10:32 Out of nowhere Della tells Hilda they didn't come here to cast spells.
10:37 Which is out of character for her.
10:40 So why did she come here?
10:42 At least her being here makes sense because she's related to Sabrina.
10:47 She's here because her aunts are here.
10:50 But that doesn't explain it.
10:52 It's not like the parents of every student in a school go to the school every time there's an assembly.
11:00 Weatherbeat plans to give a speech even though he has a good luck charm.
11:04 She tells Hilda and Zelda not to use spells and then when Weatherbeat laughs at the idea of witches.
11:11 Suddenly she joins in on casting a spell to make every idiom Weatherbeat will say come true.
11:17 It's weird because she should want witches to be a secret.
11:21 Weatherbeat says Grundy is stubborn as a mule for no reason so she turns into one.
11:27 Sabrina changes her back and for no reason at all her voice is still that of a mule.
11:32 Then eventually she goes to Weatherbeat planning to use magic and asks if he's feeling okay.
11:37 I have to assume Della's got a lock on her spell.
11:41 Well no I don't even need that because Della casts the spell with Hilda and Zelda.
11:46 So no wonder she can't undo the spell when it's been cast by three witches at once.
11:51 Their magic stayed behind.
11:53 So because of what Weatherbeat is saying behind the couch when he's at a baseball field for no reason.
11:59 We see the things he said come true with Moose digging for example.
12:04 Sabrina uses magic to make everyone think they were all daydreaming.
12:08 Sabrina wants to convince her relatives to reverse the spell.
12:12 Della says Weatherbeat is only going to cause harmless pranks.
12:16 It's weird for the head witch to be so irresponsible.
12:20 Spy witches have to exist to erase the evidence.
12:23 I don't know why Sabrina has to be the one to cover all this magic up in that case.
12:27 Maybe she assumes spy witches are swamped with work.
12:31 So she'd rather get this covered up a lot faster than usual because she's that paranoid or nice.
12:37 And ants are so used to her being nice that they don't tell her she doesn't have to do this.
12:42 Weatherbeat calls someone a road hog and his appearance changes.
12:47 And he says he didn't see that and he's got to cool it.
12:51 Which covers the road in snow so Sabrina has to reverse it.
12:55 Weatherbeat wishes a kid would go soak his head and he gets literally soaked.
12:59 Then he says this world is for the birds.
13:02 So everyone looks like giant talking birds.
13:05 The ending's surprisingly funny because Zelda says they're not witches anymore.
13:09 And Della says they're birds.
13:11 I just like how the voice acting is.
13:14 But we're not witches any longer.
13:17 We're birds.
13:19 Della wouldn't even try to use the spell even in front of a cauldron if the loss of her powers is keeping her from fixing this.
13:26 She'd have already known this was futile.
13:29 I guess part of the spell is keeping everyone from noticing that people weren't always talking birds.
13:34 Why did they turn to talking birds when he said birds not talking birds?
13:40 Well at least it's mandatory for the happy ending.
13:43 Weatherbeat wants a note from Sabrina.
13:45 She takes off and he notices how fast she came back with a note.
13:50 And she gets him to read a note for tardiness that has him say a sentence to undo the spell.
13:56 It sure is convenient that he read the note out loud for no reason.
14:01 Maybe he did that to make fun of how weird her excuse for tardiness was.
14:05 That would be in character for him.
14:08 Then there's a story where Sabrina brings a cursed cauldron to cook chili in.
14:13 That's just another story where witchcraft does nothing but evil so it doesn't add anything.
14:19 The same can be said about the next episode because Hilda changes all of the TV shows that it games show to horror.
14:25 Then there's a story where Sabrina somehow accidentally makes Moose very smart and everyone wants his help.
14:32 That sounds just like computerized Moose from the last show.
14:37 Only with thugs in trench coats wanting his help instead of the military.
14:41 Sure it'll result in Moose being helpful but won't it be in the same ways?
14:46 And then there's a story about the consequences of Hilda abusing magic.
14:50 Next, if I wanted to review bad Sabrina episodes I'd be trashing the animated series.
14:56 I might just do that and steal image form on YouTube to avoid copyright.
15:00 Then there's a story where Sabrina turns Miss Grundy into a teen and a teen falls in love with her.
15:06 Well that's creepy. Not touching that one.
15:09 She still lived longer than Reggie did and got to become an adult.
15:13 Here's an interesting episode. Talking Bird.
15:16 After Moose and Reggie put on a magic act where somehow Moose wasn't told he has to pretend he never met Reggie before ahead of time.
15:24 Moose gets lifted up with Reggie pretending he made him float.
15:28 And Sabrina uses magic to keep Moose floating to mess with Reggie's head.
15:33 Even though that seems out of character.
15:36 She gently lowers him back to the box and conveniently Reggie stops questioning it assuming he imagined it.
15:44 He tells Moose to step on a petal which lifts him up to a tree branch knocking a bird out of the tree, injuring it.
15:51 Moose feels awful about it and it goes on long enough to make me feel bad for him.
15:56 Sabrina wants to make him feel better so she casts a spell to make the bird talk.
16:02 How is that supposed to reassure him instead of freak him out?
16:05 Conveniently he is just reassured as he talks to him casually for a while.
16:10 And it takes a while to ask why he can talk when he's not a parrot.
16:15 Sabrina says that if she takes away his ability to talk, Moose would be sick with disappointment.
16:21 Why doesn't she follow him anyways?
16:24 He decides to take him to school in his shirt pocket so nobody would know he's there.
16:29 At class, Grundy somehow wastes time asking Moose if he knows an answer.
16:34 And when he predictably doesn't know what answer to give, Grundy somehow sends him to the principal for giving a wrong answer.
16:42 That's crazy!
16:44 The principal hears the bird whistle after he said he's not whistling Dixie so he suspends him.
16:51 That's crazy too.
16:53 You'd think he'd have 50 visits a day because of all the wrong answers.
16:58 Reggie decides to congratulate Moose at his house for being suspended somehow.
17:04 Why does he want to get beaten up?
17:06 And Sabrina decides to visit him too.
17:09 I guess they know he got suspended that way because he passed by them in the hall.
17:13 I guess he stuck around in school to tell them this.
17:17 The bird admits that it's all his fault and says he'll leave before he causes more trouble.
17:23 So Reggie overhears the bird talking and wants to make money off it.
17:28 And Sabrina hears Reggie talking about that.
17:31 Why didn't Moose hear Reggie?
17:33 Maybe all she did was see him near Moose.
17:37 But she would've heard him anyways.
17:39 And which could make her hearing as good as she wants.
17:42 Sabrina says her magic won't work unless she can see the bird.
17:46 Since when?
17:48 It sounds like it makes sense because we always have to see her beam of magic hit a thing for it to work.
17:54 But can't she just use magic on a picture of the bird she made from her imagination?
17:59 Worked in the 90s comic.
18:01 She spies on Reggie's house and uses magic to distract him so that the bird could hide.
18:07 The blinds keep moving until Reggie gets exhausted into lying down.
18:12 As I wonder why he's not asking why the house is haunted.
18:17 And instead forgets all about this.
18:19 Sabrina finds out the bird's gone, so she goes to look for him.
18:23 And I guess she uses magic offscreen to make him forget all that.
18:27 At least there is an excuse given for why she doesn't instantly reverse the spell.
18:32 Even if it seems like bullshit when compared to most of the series because if it was true, how would a witch be able to warp somebody to her?
18:38 She wouldn't be able to see him, yet he'd still have her magic affect him.
18:42 For no reason, the bird gets Reggie's attention.
18:46 So he gets put in a cage and Reggie gets people waiting for his show to start.
18:51 Moose's acting is terrible when he says he doesn't want to see the birds act because he left them for Reggie.
18:57 You'd think it wouldn't be hard to make Moose sound angry.
19:01 The only thing wrong with Reggie trying to make money off the bird, other than the bird being trapped in a cage because he doesn't trust him not to leave him.
19:09 Is that it would make magic obvious to mortals as soon as someone thinks to study the bird and questions why a bird of its species would develop vocal cords.
19:18 But that wouldn't happen until the bird died of natural causes years later.
19:23 So what's wrong with letting Reggie make a lot of money until then?
19:27 Sabrina could just cast a spell to prevent anyone who sees the bird talking from thinking that it's talking because of witchcraft.
19:34 They could just conclude that the creator of the universe made it talk.
19:38 The memories of stuff related to magic always get erased from mortals anyways.
19:42 And while Reggie would ask how he got so much money later, a simple spell could make him never ask why he forgot about that.
19:49 But Sabrina doesn't think anything through, so she thinks this is a big problem.
19:54 Even though Reggie witnessed witchcraft in his house and nothing bad happened.
19:59 So Sabrina removes the bird's ability to talk, humiliating Reggie.
20:04 And so he returns the bird.
20:07 And somehow he and Moose don't realize witchcraft exists because the bird lost its ability to talk.
20:14 I have to just assume Sabrina used a spell so that they wouldn't be able to question it.
20:19 When Moose lets the bird fly away, the bird briefly comes back and talks to him.
20:25 And somehow Sabrina asks how the bird did that and says that love is a magic all on its own.
20:32 If that's true, why didn't the witch already know that?
20:35 The only way this would make sense is if there's another witch in school that Sabrina doesn't know about who is watching this while invisible who caused this to happen.
20:44 Next up is career day.
20:46 But sadly, Sabrina takes forever to use magic in it.
20:50 It's just a constantly badly written story that's only worth reviewing because magic is used once.
20:56 Why does it start out with us seeing firefighters leave their building and drive?
21:01 That's padding.
21:02 Eventually, we see a fire in Ms. Grundy's class get put out as a demonstration to the classroom.
21:09 I never saw that in my school.
21:11 Why is Jughead proudly admitting that he's afraid of matches to his friends while he's smiling?
21:17 Ms. Grundy says her students are going to do a career aptitude test.
21:22 I don't remember that from school either.
21:24 Which is weird because it's a common cliche.
21:27 And why is it taking so long for Sabrina to show up?
21:30 Isn't she in their class?
21:32 Reggie lampshades them having to use kids' blocks somehow.
21:37 Why can't Reggie put the right blocks in the right holes right away?
21:41 I know he's smart because he's constantly making schemes and sometimes he gets away with them.
21:47 Somehow Jughead conveniently drops all of the blocks in the right places.
21:51 Then we see the students connect wires to various holes like they're phone operators.
21:56 In the late 70s.
21:58 And Ethel ends up buried in papers because of a conveyor belt moving faster than normal for no reason.
22:04 Moose says something forced again.
22:07 And Ms. Grundy tells her students that for a week, each of them will have to get a job.
22:12 I don't remember that in school.
22:14 So finally we see Sabrina.
22:17 Ethel's glad that they weren't put in a typical woman's job.
22:21 Finally showing a personality trait beyond chasing Jughead and whining about her appearance.
22:27 And Sabrina agrees that it's a real challenge.
22:30 And they're both wearing construction worker helmets.
22:33 A guy says Ethel should keep up the good work and yet Sabrina says she'll have to learn that women can do any job.
22:40 Ethel gets lifted up and has to swing on a rope and slides down into mud, sending mud at her boss.
22:47 Who gets mad at her and fires her.
22:50 He thankfully does help her up.
22:52 Why does she call him "ma'am"?
22:55 It's disappointing that the scene ends without Sabrina using magic.
22:59 In fact, it takes until plenty of other scenes for her to use magic.
23:04 She doesn't do it until Regi is in a cage with a lion.
23:07 And then she uses magic to get the lion to lick him.
23:10 When she could have just used it to keep the lion from attacking him at all.
23:15 Nothing happened before this point aside from all the main characters somehow sucking at their jobs in a creative variety of ways.
23:22 That don't really matter enough to talk about.
23:25 Until eventually all of them ended up in the circus because Jughead conveniently meets the circus owner and gets all of his friends jobs at the circus.
23:33 Regi wouldn't have been put in a cage with a lion anyways.
23:37 Eventually, Regi somehow decides to bring a baby lion to his classroom.
23:42 And the last few things I hear in the episode are his voice being irritatingly high-pitched.
23:48 I expected Sabrina to save him, but she didn't.
23:52 This was a good episode.
23:54 Where the witches convention and Sabrina's picnic take place right beside each other in the woods.
23:59 Della deserves to have a football splashed with liquid from her cauldron.
24:03 Even if it was too repetitive and uncreative that it's always the same thing that happens to her.
24:09 The picnic wasn't interesting.
24:11 It was just typical teenager games like Jughead chasing a football.
24:16 And then I wonder why Moose had a beanbag race there.
24:20 It was nice to see Sabrina save her friends.
24:23 And I like that she was written to wipe the memories of the witches too.
24:26 To properly justify Della not going after them.
24:30 But of course, this plot could have easily been avoided for multiple reasons.
24:34 Sabrina was the one who suggested going to the woods for a picnic.
24:38 When it should have been someone else make it more believable that her friends inexplicably refused to humor her when she wanted a different location.
24:45 Because you'd think if it was her idea she'd have the authority to change her mind.
24:50 And she could have brainwashed them into going somewhere else and been right because it would keep them safe.
24:56 But it's believable that she didn't do that because that'd be creepy to her.
25:00 I just wish she explained this.
25:02 As it's not believable that she wouldn't have even thought of this.
25:05 I only gave this plot a chance because for once the fact that she doesn't use a spell she has to resolve the plot early is believable.
25:13 The plot only seems to happen because of a bad coincidence.
25:16 Because the witches convention could have very easily been somewhere else.
25:20 Della never explains why she's so insistent on Riverdale Woods in particular.
25:25 When it isn't even established that teleporting or flight uses more magic the more distance you have to travel.
25:32 And so she wanted members of her family to save on magic.
25:36 Since Sabrina's cousin is her son.
25:41 This story was about Sabrina inexplicably switching bodies with Moose even though all she wanted to do was get out of the house of mirrors.
25:49 So she would have worked instead.
25:51 And then there's no good explanation for why when her aunts use magic to try to fix things there's a delay on it working.
25:59 A potion could have actually justified them switching bodies and the thing remaining the case for a while.
26:06 They could have not known they drank a potion.
26:09 And while the plot being forced could have been fine if the ensuing events were worth it.
26:14 The events of the plot would have been exactly the same in the amusement park if Sabrina had remained in her body.
26:20 The only difference it made to the plot is that it had Sabrina's body stand there doing nothing in the witches meeting.
26:27 And of course I have to just assume that a part of the ridiculous broken spell is Moose doesn't freak out at being warped to a witches meeting.
26:34 As no one would be dumb enough to be totally calm about this for no reason so that's not it.
26:40 The body switching could have at least been taken advantage of if Sabrina and Moose's bodies saw Midge and people were confused because she wasn't mad at Reggie flirting with Midge.
26:52 All that was gained from this body switching is that it could be funny to hear Moose's voice somehow come out of Sabrina and vice versa.
27:00 But again I have to assume part of the spell keeps people from realizing that only magic would cause this.
27:06 But the episode was still worth it because I liked seeing the spell Sabrina used in Moose's body because it gave her friends a good time.
27:14 This story is about Della and Sabrina's aunts casting a spell on Weatherby so every idiom he says comes true because they're easily offended enough to punish him for only meeting in the gym where he says witches aren't real.
27:26 Even though she wants mortals to think that.
27:29 He does this when nothing prompted that.
27:32 Sabrina's friends talked about superstitions before this but they should have done so in front of Weatherby to convince him unintentionally to do this.
27:40 Because it doesn't seem believable but it is a bit entertaining to see what Weatherby says literally come true.
27:47 He could have easily not used idioms that often but it didn't take me out of the story.
27:53 It just happened to have faster pacing.
27:56 I'm glad it was explained that the spell was cast on him by three witches to explain why Sabrina couldn't reverse the spell and couldn't even do that by getting Ambrose's help.
28:06 Maybe her first episode would have worked if it had been explained that her mirror image twin had the power of three witches.
28:15 Everyone turns into birds but they're giant talking birds in a pleasant twist considering that I expected the apocalypse.
28:21 The plot summary made me think that'd be the very end of the story.
28:26 And since it's episodic, I think it could have been the end and it could have been funnier that way.
28:31 Eventually, Sabrina hands him a note to make him say something to reverse the spell.
28:36 Why did she take so long to do that when she knew all along that everything he said came true?
28:42 This episode's about Sabrina using magic on a bird Moose accidentally injured to make it reassure him to stop crying because she somehow thinks that'll reassure him instead of freak him out.
28:55 And she's right.
28:57 Which I have to assume is because that's part of the spell.
29:01 When he knows this isn't a Disney cartoon, it's fortunately explained why she doesn't remove the bird's ability to talk at first.
29:08 Because she doesn't want to make Moose sad.
29:12 Which is reckless but still a character for a nice person.
29:15 But Reggie finding out the bird can talk is contrived because why would he risk abating by going to his house to congratulate him for somehow getting suspended because he was somehow sent to the principal's office for not knowing the answer to a question to Miss Grundy's?
29:29 When she should have known better than to call on him.
29:33 I know she probably thought he was just being sassy but he would give ridiculously wrong answers every time.
29:39 So why would she only now think he did it on purpose?
29:42 I can't blame Reggie for wanting to make money off the bird.
29:45 But the episode succeeds in making him the bad guy because the bird doesn't want to be trapped in a cage.
29:51 And maybe could have just asked them to stay by his side.
29:55 And it was forced that Reggie even saw him again to put on a show.
30:00 And thankfully the story tries to explain why Sabrina doesn't instantly undo the spell as soon as Moose gets suspended.
30:06 Because her magic can't affect what she can't see.
30:09 Even though she could just zap up a picture of the bird.
30:13 And how do witches work people to them then?
30:16 It'd be better if he got suspended because the bird told him that someone was flirting with Mitch.
30:22 This story had way too much focus on characters other than Sabrina for a Sabrina story.
30:27 Somehow it's mostly about the characters having jobs and screwing up.
30:32 And she only uses magic once when Reggie is somehow in a cage with a lion.
30:37 Why did Sabrina end up at the circus when there's no way she would have been fired?
30:42 She'd use magic to do a great job.
30:44 And any screw ups she'd make she would make her boss forget about.
30:48 Ethel was the only one who screwed up and Sabrina could have simply made the boss in her forget everything bad that just happened and warp her back to her.
30:57 But she didn't.
30:59 At first I didn't question this because I assumed she just went to the circus to protect Reggie from a lion because she knew he'd be near it.
31:06 But she'd only know to go there if she was told they went to the circus off screen.
31:11 Unless she asked the spirits.
31:14 After that is a story where Sabrina somehow accidentally conjures up Merlin.
31:19 And it talks like the whole episode revolves around that instead of her instantly zapping him away.
31:25 So that's too stupid to bother with.
31:27 I'm just sick of stories that were only forced to happen.
31:30 And the summary doesn't advertise how they're worth it.
31:33 So I don't see the point in going through every little part of it.
31:37 There's a story where Hot Dog digs up trouble for the Archies when he digs up a lamp containing an old genie schoolmate of Sabrina's.
31:45 Even though I thought Sabrina only ever went to school with mortals.
31:49 And if the problem is that the genie's evil, why can't Sabrina instantly use magic to put the genie back in the lamp and put the lamp back under the ground?
31:57 Another story where magic is nothing but evil.
32:00 Next.
32:01 And the final story with Sabrina is Del sabotages her own surprise party because she thinks the Spellmans forgot her birthday.
32:08 So that just vilifies witchcraft as well.
32:10 Very creative.
32:12 I already read an Archie story in my spare time where Veronica ruined her own surprise party.
32:17 So this is doubly uncreative.
32:20 And that's all I have to say about the show.
32:23 (upbeat music)