• 8 years ago
Comedy (2003) 90 minutes ~ Color

Making a movie in Hollywood looked easy, especially when you're a sexy aspiring film maker. Sarah Wilder arrives in Hollywood ready to start her career by making her first picture. Sarah's only contact is her Uncle Lou who was a screenwriter in the old days of the studio system. With his guidance and connections, she embarks on a wild journey into the world of Hollywood, where she encounters crazy studio executives, insane producers, and a gangster who agrees to finance her film ... for a price.
Music by The Black Eyed Peas (right before they became real famous!!!)
Director: William Tannen
Writer: David Pasquesi
Stars: Linda Black, Alan Blumenfeld, Carmine Caridi, Mike Myers, Janeane Garofalo, Ben Stiller
Transcript
00:00The only thing that kept Jimmy going was blaming virus for jinxing them and to get out by any
00:07means possible.
00:08Escape, if necessary.
00:09Just a couple of cons.
00:10The sweeping.
00:11Don't want no trouble here, boss, because I'm just a sweeper.
00:14Look at all the trash.
00:15You ready?
00:16I'm ready.
00:17On your mark.
00:18Get set.
00:19Go.
00:21On your mark.
00:25Get set.
00:27Go.
00:29On your mark.
00:30Get set.
00:31Go.
00:32On your mark.
00:34Get set.
00:42Go.
00:43On your mark.
00:47You.
00:49You said it wasn't electrified?
00:54I was kidding.
00:55I'm not going to bullshit you. I don't have the time, and if you fucking touch me, and
01:11you don't have the film, but if you need some, I can hook you up.
01:17Not good film, though. Really cheap film.
01:19Yeah, take it from a retard.
01:21Cheap.
01:22He knows about film quality.
01:23I do. I'm a savant.
01:26You're not going to laugh at me.
01:29There you go. Make a wish.
01:33Nah, I still got the fucking eye.
01:35Yeah, I was there. I'm really glad those guys robbed McClintock's.
01:39As far as I'm concerned, those boys did a service to the community.
01:42Those boys are heroes.
01:45Jimmy and Byers' big day finally arrived. Their first meeting in front of the parole board.
01:51Well, I hope you've learned a few things while you've been here in the last six months.
01:55Absolutely. Sure did.
01:57All right, I'll take that as a yes.
02:00Yes. Okay.
02:03And since neither of you actually use any live ammo, I suppose we have no choice but to reluctantly return you to society.
02:15We never intended to harm anyone.
02:19We respect that and appreciate your honesty.
02:22Now, once you go through that door to the outside, I don't want to see you back in here again.
02:28Not while I'm here.
02:30And I'm going to be here.
02:32All right, that's all.
02:35Get up.
02:37Goodbye.
02:46What if they can't find Sean Connery?
02:48Then it's considered a forfeit.
02:50Come on, that doesn't make any sense. I'd pick Churchill, you know?
02:55Everybody picks some guy they know they can't get.
02:58That's cheating.
02:59You're making up these rules as you go along, I think.
03:02That's your opinion.
03:04Come on, you're making up the rules.
03:06Opinion?
03:07I got you a little something-something.
03:09What?
03:10Thanks.
03:12Wow! A Mississippi Blue Smoke-O-Lotica.
03:16Yeah.
03:17It's commemorative. They only made a million of these.
03:20I was able to track one down.
03:22I'm going to head in, let her know I'm home, show her this.
03:27Oh, she's going to love that.
03:29I get a feeling she is.
03:32All right, take care.
03:48This is the right thing?
03:50You be strong.
03:51See you, man.
03:52Yeah, seriously, it's been fun.
03:54Had a blast. Right back at you.
03:58Take it easy.
03:59You too.
04:00You know we'll do it again.
04:08Good luck.
04:09Thanks.
04:17Bye.
04:39I told you, Jimmy, get the fuck out of here!
04:42I'm serious!
04:44Get out!
04:47Get out!
05:04I'm just going to look over here.
05:07I like it.
05:12So, that's how it got made.
05:14It might not be the best film in the world, but it's my first film, and I got it made.
05:19I love Frankie and Phil for giving me a chance, and of course, my Uncle Lou.
05:23So, if you're someone like me who wants to make a movie, find an Uncle Lou.
05:27Or better yet, find a bookie who has an auto repair shop who loves the movies.
05:34Uncle Lou!
05:36We did it.
05:37Sweetheart, you did it.
05:41Remember, nobody knows.
05:44Uncle Lou.
05:49You're killing me here, Phil.
05:50Uncle Lou, you're like a bank. You always pay off.
05:53Ha ha ha ha. You're killing me. You know that? You're busting my balls.
05:56Get a good count. Get a good count.
05:58I got the big rush covered. Don't worry about it.
06:00It's all right. I love you anyway.
06:02Don't touch.
06:05It's all there.
06:06Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

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