TV-G | 30min | Comedy, Drama, Family, TV Series | Episode aired 30 January 1953
Ozzie and Harriet Nelson raise their two sons Ricky and David. As the sons age, they experience teenage dating problems, marriage and careers. In this episode, While discussing The Rover Boys' books with Thorny, Ozzie takes off to check out a book at the library, hoping to prove Thorny wrong. But when he's caught with a big book, one of his boys' teachers is convinced he knows a lot about the Peloponnesian War and asks him to lead a book discussion. Thorny is just to proud to admit the truth and decides to learn everything he can before the PTA meeting.
Director: Ozzie Nelson
Stars: Ozzie Nelson, Harriet Nelson, David Nelson, Ricky Nelson
Ozzie and Harriet Nelson raise their two sons Ricky and David. As the sons age, they experience teenage dating problems, marriage and careers. In this episode, While discussing The Rover Boys' books with Thorny, Ozzie takes off to check out a book at the library, hoping to prove Thorny wrong. But when he's caught with a big book, one of his boys' teachers is convinced he knows a lot about the Peloponnesian War and asks him to lead a book discussion. Thorny is just to proud to admit the truth and decides to learn everything he can before the PTA meeting.
Director: Ozzie Nelson
Stars: Ozzie Nelson, Harriet Nelson, David Nelson, Ricky Nelson
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00Blisterine antiseptics, blisterine toothpaste, and prophylactic toothbrushes present America's
00:13favorite family comedy, The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, starring the entire Nelson
00:18family.
00:19Here is Ozzie, who plays the part of Ozzie Nelson, and of course, his lovely wife Harriet
00:24as Harriet Nelson.
00:26The older of the Nelson boys, David, appears as David Nelson, and his younger brother,
00:31the irrepressible Ricky, played by Ricky Nelson.
00:34The Nelson's next-door neighbor, Thorny, is played by Don DeFore.
00:46Man is a confused animal.
00:48What did you say?
00:50Oh, sorry, I didn't notice you walk in.
00:54Did the book salesman finally go?
00:56Uh, yes, he did.
00:58Very nice young fellow, too, Harriet.
01:00Very alert, very aware.
01:03Alert to what?
01:04To the dangers of our modern living.
01:09Man is a confused animal.
01:11Just doesn't know how to live anymore.
01:14How about living?
01:15Oh, the same thing.
01:17We rush through life, helter-skelter, missing half of the important things.
01:23You take me, for instance.
01:25We have hundreds of fine books around the house here.
01:28I don't even know the titles of half of them.
01:31Just picked up this little booklet here.
01:33Looks mighty interesting.
01:35The Romance of Dirt.
01:37Where did we get this?
01:39Came with a vacuum cleaner.
01:44You see, it's different now than it was in the old days.
01:46In the old days, people used to take time out to reflect a little bit.
01:51They'd get out under a big tree and browse and commune with nature and think things over.
01:58Nowadays, man has lost his intellectual curiosity.
02:04It's just as I said before.
02:06Man is a confused animal.
02:09I thought the book salesman said that.
02:11Well, yes, he did.
02:13But it's very true, Harriet.
02:15You take even in reading, for instance, the kids of nowadays.
02:20What a chance they get to become acquainted with really good literature.
02:25I mean, they spend their time reading comic books.
02:28They look at television.
02:29They watch moving pictures.
02:30They listen to radio.
02:33It's no wonder they're confused.
02:37Hi, Thorny.
02:38Oh, hi, Oz.
02:39You've been keeping yourself all day.
02:41Oh, just browsing through a few books.
02:44You know, Oz, we should do more of this these days.
02:46Oh, you're so right, Thorny.
02:49It's a dangerous age we're living in.
02:51Not like the old days.
02:53You know, man had more intellectual curiosity in those days.
02:56He learned things for himself.
02:58But gee, nowadays, well, he's a confused animal.
03:06And then he stopped by your house too, huh?
03:08Yeah.
03:10You know, there's an awful lot of truth in what this guy says, Thorny.
03:14I mean, after all, it is a dangerous age we're living in, especially for the kids.
03:18I mean, they don't have the advantage of the good, solid, old-fashioned literature that we used to have.
03:24Boy, Oz, you're right as rain.
03:28Moby Dick.
03:30Ivanhoe.
03:32Lady of the Lake.
03:34Poems of Keats, Shelley, Byron.
03:39Delightful.
03:41Yeah, nowadays, the kids have comic books.
03:44They have television.
03:45They have radio.
03:47All those things to keep their minds off the good, solid, old-fashioned stuff.
03:52I remember when I was a kid, I used to lie in bed with that flashlight under the blanket all the hours I spent reading Treasure Island.
03:59Oh, really, Oz?
04:01Gee, that was my favorite book.
04:02No kidding.
04:03Yeah, The Rover Boys at Treasure Island.
04:07I'm talking about the old classic, Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island.
04:11Oh.
04:12Besides, The Rover Boys never went to Treasure Island.
04:15Oh, wait a minute, Oz.
04:16You're wrong there.
04:17The father got lost there, remember?
04:18He was looking for the treasure and the treasure...
04:20No, no, no, no, Thorny.
04:21I've read every Rover Boy book.
04:24You've got it confused with Africa.
04:26Don't you remember?
04:27And besides, it wasn't the father.
04:29It was Uncle Randolph.
04:31And don't you remember the old sea captain had this mysterious map...
04:34Oh, wait a minute, Oz.
04:35You're getting all mixed up.
04:37Uncle Randolph was back in New York State putting the squeeze on Josiah Crabtree after the squabble about Sam Baxter.
04:44Sam Baxter was Dan Baxter, the son of Arnold Baxter, the town scoundrel.
04:50Okay, Sam Baxter.
04:52Anyway, it was Arnold who gummed up the Treasure Island expedition.
04:56Thorny, it wasn't Treasure Island.
04:59It was Africa.
05:00And besides, Arnold happened to be in jail at the time.
05:03Jail?
05:04Now, listen to me, will you?
05:05He was doing a six-month stretch because he tried to boil Dick the fun-loving rover in hot tar.
05:11One of my favorite chapters.
05:13Fun-loving Dick?
05:14Oh, Oz.
05:15Now, that goes to show you how much you know about it.
05:18Sam was a fun-loving rover.
05:20Dick was the elder rover, engaged to the widow Stanhope's beautiful daughter, Dora.
05:25Well, you may be right there.
05:27But the rover boys never went to Treasure Island.
05:30You've got it confused with their expedition to Africa.
05:35Treasure Island.
05:38Africa.
05:39Africa.
05:42Treasure Island.
05:44Africa.
05:47Treasure Island.
06:09Treasure Island.
06:26Sorry.
06:27Got the cramped quarters here.
07:10Pardon me.
07:11Sorry, once again.
07:16I beg your pardon.
07:17Sorry.
07:20Oh, I'm sorry.
07:24Sorry.
07:26This is the last time I'll be coming through here.
07:39Harriet, here's the juvenile section right here.
07:41I wonder if they've got the rover boys' books.
07:43Yes, I know they have.
07:44I phoned the librarian.
07:46Under an assumed name, of course.
07:50Rover boys on land and sea.
07:52Rover boys in Mexico.
07:54The rover boys at Treasure Island.
07:56Where?
08:00You see the rover boys in Africa, let me know.
08:09Oh, gee.
08:11Should have something to stand on around here.
08:20This ought to do it.
08:28Oh, here it is.
08:30Give it to me, I'll have the librarian check it out.
08:32Okay.
08:34Meanwhile, I'll take back this 250-pound encyclopedia, whatever it is.
08:39Okay.
08:44Oh, hello there, Mr. Nelson.
08:46Oh, you're David's English teacher, aren't you, Miss...
08:51Yes, Miss Fraser.
08:52Miss Fraser, how are you?
08:54Very well, thank you.
08:55Well, this is a pleasant surprise.
08:57It happens often that we meet one of the fathers in the library.
09:00Oh, well, I had sort of a literary discussion with my neighbor, Mr. Thornberry.
09:06Oh, about Sir Henry Parkinson?
09:09I beg your pardon?
09:10His history of the Peloponnesian Wars.
09:12The book you have there.
09:13Oh, oh, no, no, not...
09:17You're just like all the others.
09:19Am I?
09:20You're a little bit ashamed of yourself, aren't you?
09:22Well...
09:24Well, now, why should you be?
09:26Well, no, no, I don't think you understand.
09:29I think if you have an honest intellectual curiosity, you should be proud of it, not ashamed.
09:35Now, you're obviously interested in Greek history.
09:38Why not admit it?
09:39Oh, well, yes, naturally, everybody's interested in Greek history.
09:44But actually, you see, I just came down to do a little research.
09:48Oh, I see.
09:49Mr. Thornberry...
09:50Oh, I just wanted to brush up a little.
09:51Yes.
09:52Well, I must admit I'm a little rusty on the Peloponnesian Wars myself.
09:56Oh, that's understandable.
09:58How long have you read it?
10:01Quite a while.
10:02Quite a while.
10:03I bet you haven't opened it since college.
10:05Oh, well, maybe even longer than that.
10:11The main thing is that you still have the interest.
10:13You know, that's what true intellectual curiosity gives us, Mr. Nelson, the hungry mind.
10:18Oh, oh, sure.
10:19I need arrangements.
10:20How do you know Miss Fraser?
10:21Oh, hello, Miss Fraser.
10:22Hello, Mrs. Nelson, how are you?
10:24I was just complimenting your husband on his intellectual curiosity.
10:28Oh, yes, thanks.
10:29Harry, pardon me, Miss Fraser, if we hurry along, we have a few errands to do.
10:33Do you want to take a book?
10:34Oh, well, yes, but this is the book mainly.
10:37I'd like to have this, you know, the Peloponnesian Wars by Sir Henry Parkerhouse.
10:42Oh, Parkinson.
10:43Oh, Parkinson.
10:47Well, I'll go along first, Harry.
10:50I want to get the car out of the Parkerhouse.
10:52Goodbye, Mr. Nelson.
10:53Goodbye.
10:54Goodbye, Mrs. Nelson.
10:55Goodbye, Miss Fraser.
11:00There's no doubt about it.
11:02Man is a confused animal.
11:12Listen to this, Harriet.
11:14The causes of the Peloponnesian Wars are understandably complex in that Potidaea,
11:20a Dorian town on the western promontory of Thrace,
11:25was induced to revolt with the support of the Macedonian King Perdiccas,
11:30formerly an Athenian ally.
11:32Imagine that.
11:37Hello?
11:38Mr. Nelson?
11:39Yes?
11:40This is Miss Fraser.
11:42Oh, hello, Miss Fraser.
11:44What's on your mind?
11:46Well, we've scheduled a PTA discussion tomorrow night at the school
11:50on proper books for schoolchildren.
11:52We thought you might like to appear on the panel with us.
11:55Oh, well, I'd be delighted to, Miss Fraser.
11:58Oh, good.
12:00I was a little afraid, of course, that you might find the subject sort of elementary.
12:06Well, of course, it's not my specialty exactly, like Sir Henry.
12:12Oh, yes, I know.
12:14That's why we had the subject changed.
12:17What's that?
12:18We're going to discuss the Peloponnesian Wars.
12:23I don't think I got that quite clearly.
12:26I said we're going to discuss the Peloponnesian Wars.
12:29When I told the committee that you were especially interested in Greek history,
12:33they simply wouldn't hear of anything else.
12:35Oh, well, Miss Fraser, this might be a good time to let you in on a little sort of a joke.
12:43Oh, no, Mr. Nelson, you can't get out of it.
12:46We're depending on you.
12:48With your vast knowledge of the subject, it's going to be an exciting evening.
12:53Especially when you throw me out of the auditorium.
12:59We won't feel too bad if you outshine us.
13:02No, no, no, you don't understand.
13:04I understand that modesty must be overcome by firmness.
13:08We'll expect you at the school tomorrow night at 8.30.
13:11Goodbye, Mr. Nelson.
13:13Uh...
13:17What's the matter, dear? You look like you've been hit by a rock.
13:22Pardon me.
13:23Where are you going?
13:25I think I'll go up to my room and have a good cry.
13:37How you doing?
13:39Oh, uh, not too bad.
13:41It goes a little slowly at first, but then after you get warmed up to it, it speeds right along.
13:46You know, it's funny, more people aren't interested in this sort of thing.
13:49What do you mean?
13:50Well, I noticed the last time this book was borrowed was December 10th, 1910.
13:56What page are you on?
13:58Uh...
14:00Uh, page eight.
14:03Only page eight?
14:04Here, listen to this. Reads almost like modern fiction.
14:08After Herodotus had resided for some seven or eight years in Samos,
14:13events occurred in his native city which induced him to return thither.
14:21The tyranny of Legidamus had gone from bad to worse, and at last he was expelled.
14:28You know, now, stuff like that, you just can't put the book down.
14:37How you doing?
14:38Oh, uh, pretty well, thanks.
14:40Oh, good. You're up to page 27 already.
14:43Uh, yeah. I got kind of a break, though. I just ran into 15 pages of maps.
14:50And so the Spartans sent to Athens no formal declaration of war,
14:55but rather sought to create some specious, cautious belly.
15:02Uh, Harriet, would you mind answering the doorbelly, please?
15:09And so the Spartans sent to Athens no formal declaration of war,
15:14but rather sought to create some specious, cautious belly.
15:19...to inflame the existing hostilities against Pericles in Athens
15:23by implicating him in the curse pronounced...
15:25Hi, Thorney.
15:26Harriet, I'm sorry.
15:27Dr. Thornberry, please.
15:28I'll be at Thorney's.
15:30Where's my colleague, my fellow scholar?
15:32Oh, I'm here in the dining room, Thorney.
15:34Quick hands, Professor.
15:36What are you doing over here this hour of the night?
15:38Never let it be said Thornberry didn't come prepared.
15:41We got a bone-up ozzburn in the midnight oil.
15:43Well, what do you got here?
15:44What have I got here?
15:45What have I got here?
15:46Well now, that's a fine question to ask
15:47after you wrote me in on the discussion.
15:49I cleaned the entire shelf of the library, Oz.
15:51All eight copies.
15:52Ozzie's Mom- Eight copies of what?
15:54Ozzie's Dad- Well, the Rover Boys!
15:55The Rover Boys?
15:56Sure, sure.
15:57Miss Fraser called me and asked if I'd like to join in.
16:00Ozzie's Mom- Well, you mean to say
16:01the discussion is about the Rover Boys?
16:04Oh, hurry up!
16:05For goodness sakes!
16:06Here I am studying this whole big talop and...
16:08Ozzie's Mom- Thorney, do you remember exactly
16:10what Miss Fraser said to you on the phone?
16:12Ozzie's Dad- Why, certainly!
16:13She said Oz was conducting a discussion
16:15on the Rover Boys and would I like-
16:17Ozzie's Mom- She said Rover Boys?
16:19Ozzie's Dad- Well, maybe she didn't exactly say
16:21Rover Boys, but she said the book I was discussing
16:24with Mr. Nelson this afternoon.
16:25Now what else could it be?
16:27Audience Laughs
16:29Thorney, sit down for a moment.
16:33What's the matter?
16:34You tell him, dear, I'll make some fresh coffee.
16:38Thorney, my fine old gray-headed friend-
16:42I don't have gray hairs.
16:44You will.
16:45Audience Laughs
16:47What do you know about the Peloponnesian Wars?
16:49I have the layman's knowledge.
16:51Absolutely nothing.
16:52Audience Laughs
16:54What's this got to do with the Rover Boys?
16:55Uh, Thorney, hold on to your hat.
16:58The discussion tomorrow night is about
17:00the Peloponnesian Wars.
17:01Oh, now wait a minute, Oz.
17:03How can anybody say Peloponnesian into one phone
17:05and have it come out the other phone, the Rover Boys?
17:07Audience Laughs
17:09Thorney, relax, will you?
17:10You're getting panicky.
17:12Now all we have to do is just read through
17:14these four delightful volumes.
17:17So just lean back, take your coat off,
17:20and let's get to work.
17:21Uh, the eye drops are right over there on the buffet.
17:24Audience Laughs
17:26♪
17:33...intending to inflame the existing hostilities
17:36against Pericles in Athens
17:38by implicating him in the curse pronounced
17:40on the murders of Cyclon.
17:42Uh, what have you got on Calicratides?
17:45Oh, yeah, here we are.
17:48Mm-hmm.
17:50Born in volume two, died in volume four.
17:52Audience Laughs
17:55♪
18:00And took another road into the plains of Argus.
18:04Oz, that's absolutely right.
18:06How do you like that?
18:08How you doing, fellas?
18:08Oh, hiya, Harriet.
18:09Ask us anything reasonable about the
18:11Peloponnesian Wars and we'll give you an answer
18:13just like that.
18:13Any reasonable question.
18:15Go ahead, ask us one.
18:16Okay, who won?
18:18Audience Laughs
18:21That's not a reasonable question.
18:23Now, now, wait a minute, Oz.
18:24You've got to get a hold of them.
18:25You'd better look it up.
18:26They might hit us with that tomorrow night.
18:28Wait a minute, would you two stand by
18:29for an important announcement?
18:31Such as what?
18:32Oh, Miss Fraser phoned.
18:34The discussion's been called off.
18:35What?
18:36Oh, what a disappointment!
18:39Oh.
18:39Audience Laughs
18:41I'm almost tired enough.
18:41I could talk you into going to the movies.
18:44Do you want to go to the movies, Thorny?
18:46Oh, now look, Oz.
18:47Think of what you're doing.
18:48If we left this room, we'd be deserters.
18:50Where's your intellectual curiosity?
18:53You don't want to go to the show?
18:54Why, of course not.
18:55I happen to love literature.
18:57I have no desire to go to the bijou tonight.
18:59It's a very good picture, Thorny.
19:01I know, I've seen it.
19:02Audience Laughs
19:03Well, it's wonderful reading material.
19:04You mean to tell me you can leave this?
19:06Think of all the adventure
19:07that lied between these covers.
19:10Uh, Harry, Thorny is absolutely right.
19:13My intellectual curiosity
19:15and my thirst for good literature
19:18far surpasses my desire to go to the movies.
19:20Are you serious?
19:21Well, of course I am.
19:24Shall we begin?
19:25All righty.
19:26Here you are, Oz.
19:28Fine.
19:30Suppose you take the rover boys on land and sea,
19:34and I'll read the rover boys on...
19:39Treasure Island?
19:40Audience Laughs
19:43♪
19:51Ozzy, are you just coming to bed?
19:53No, I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you.
19:55Go back to sleep, dear.
19:56What time is it?
19:57Oh, it's pretty late.
19:59Darn Thorny, I couldn't get him to go home.
20:02Oh, look at the clock.
20:03It's a quarter to five.
20:05Darn clock with a luminous face.
20:08Audience Laughs
20:08I hear of reading the rover boys
20:10until almost five in the morning.
20:12Well, it wasn't my fault.
20:14I wanted to quit at four o'clock,
20:15but Thorny's such a kid.
20:18Oh, we settled the argument
20:19as to which one is the fun-loving rover.
20:21Well, please tell me
20:23so I can go to sleep with a clear mind.
20:24Well, see, Thorny said Sam,
20:26and I said Dick,
20:27and Thorny was wrong.
20:29It was Tom.
20:30Audience Laughs
20:34Hello?
20:35Hi, Oz.
20:36Thorny, what do you want?
20:38Well, I'm having a little trouble.
20:40Will you put Harriet on?
20:41I want her to explain something to Catherine.
20:43Well, what's the matter?
20:45Well, I don't know, Oz.
20:46I keep telling her over and over, but...
20:48somehow she just won't believe
20:49I was up all night with the rover boys.
20:51Audience Laughs
20:52Audience Applause
20:56♪
21:00Oh, Harriet,
21:01look what just arrived by special messenger.
21:03The story of Aristotle.
21:05Well, nice.
21:07And look at the card that came with it.
21:10Wishing you a speedy recovery,
21:12Miss Fraser.
21:13Yeah, where did she get the idea I was sick?
21:15I can't imagine.
21:17Well, and another thing
21:18that I just happened to think of,
21:20I don't remember hearing the phone ring
21:22when she called last night.
21:24Did you hear any dialing?
21:25No.
21:26That's good.
21:27Audience Laughs
21:29Wait a minute.
21:31Harriet,
21:32did you by any chance phone Miss Fraser last night
21:35and tell her I was sick?
21:37Well, I had to do something.
21:38Your intellectual curiosity
21:40wouldn't have let you stop
21:40with the Peloponnesian Wars.
21:42You'd have just gone on and on
21:43and pretty soon you'd have been so smart
21:44I couldn't be happy with you.
21:46Audience Laughs
21:48Just what do you mean by that?
21:51Oh, there's some things I like to do.
21:53If you grow any smarter than you already are,
21:55I won't be able to do those things.
21:57What kind of things?
21:59Oh, little things.
22:01Like making phone calls
22:02and not having you catch on until the next day.
22:04Audience Laughs
22:06♪
22:19Miss Fraser was played by Paula Winslow.
22:21♪