Category
🦄
CreativityTranscript
00:00 Humans and cauliflower share a common ancestor going back over 420 years,
00:04 which is why to this day, cauliflower is a very accurate map of the human brain.
00:09 [pop]
00:09 ♪ You suck at cooking, yeah, you totally suck! ♪
00:13 Now, I'm no brain expert, but I do know enough about the brain to be able to tell you what every single little part does.
00:20 [snap]
00:20 This is the cerebral flortex. It governs your ability to sense and navigate across the ground.
00:26 [snap]
00:26 This is your ankle center. It's an evolutionary leftover from when humans had no torso or legs,
00:31 so, uh, 20% of the brain was used to process ankle function.
00:35 So I'm just gonna take this standard RCA cable and, uh, jam that right into my skull, and then re-route that into my cameras.
00:41 This little part here is the speech control.
00:43 It helps, you know, govern the way your pitch works, um, the way the, uh, contour and timbre of your voice works.
00:51 It'd be pretty cool if you could play that in real life, so, you know, if you're going on a date and you want to impress someone,
00:56 you can make your voice sound like this.
00:58 But, you know, we have a voice that we have.
01:01 [crunch]
01:02 Mmm.
01:03 This part here controls the vision.
01:05 Um, your eyes are obviously a pretty important part of your body, because without them, um, you wouldn't be able to watch Netflix.
01:13 Ouch, yeah, I feel that. Whoops.
01:16 Let's see if I can...
01:18 get...
01:20 Mmm, nope. I severed that.
01:22 [crunch]
01:24 Out of vision. Oh.
01:26 Shit.
01:27 Luckily, the brain's adaptable, and I just, um...
01:32 It's, uh...
01:34 It's too hard to explain.
01:38 This here's your memory centre. You gotta be careful when you fiddle around with this one.
01:41 [swoosh]
01:42 [child's voice]
01:45 [child's voice]
01:50 [child's voice]
01:51 [child's voice]
01:54 [child's voice]
01:55 [child's voice]
01:58 [child's voice]
01:59 [child's voice]
02:00 [child's voice]
02:01 [child's voice]
02:02 [child's voice]
02:03 [child's voice]
02:04 [child's voice]
02:05 [child's voice]
02:06 [child's voice]
02:07 This piece regulates breathing, circulation, skeletal lymphatics, urinary, cardio, digestive, respiratory, endocrine, and reproductive systems.
02:14 Elbows.
02:16 And this half of the brain is devoted to second-guessing text messages.
02:20 Ah, it's a brain.
02:22 You wanna get these into smaller pieces.
02:24 About yay big.
02:26 Or smaller or bigger.
02:27 [chopping]
02:29 A lot of them will just break off at the right size.
02:31 What is the right size?
02:32 [chopping]
02:34 [muffled]
02:37 Boil that.
02:38 Olive oil.
02:39 Put in a little bit of coconut oil for sweetness.
02:42 See how that's not pouring?
02:43 Throw some in there.
02:44 [clink]
02:45 Salt.
02:46 Some salt.
02:47 Pepper, pepper, pepper.
02:48 And some curry powder.
02:49 We're gonna wang-jangle this until it's all smooth.
02:51 And by smooth I mean bumpy, 'cause cauliflower is not smooth.
02:54 [clunk]
02:55 Onto the pan.
02:56 [sizzling]
02:57 Onions on four-something.
02:58 Just make it hot.
02:59 The word "cauliflower"
03:01 [scraping]
03:03 is an anagram for "awful recoil."
03:06 And that's because you shouldn't eat cauliflower.
03:10 Alright, let's...
03:11 [clunk]
03:12 Woof.
03:13 Just jumped.
03:14 Let's give these a good rasslin'.
03:16 And kind of like any vegetable, you can cook it a little or a lot.
03:21 These will get mushy if you overcook them, just like steaming or boiling.
03:25 Don't boil vegetables.
03:26 Have at least a modicum of respect for yourself and for vegetables.
03:30 Let's try these.
03:32 [crunch]
03:33 Mmm.
03:34 I was gonna put 'em back in, but these are done, man.
03:36 That was maybe 15 minutes really hot.
03:38 So, you know.
03:39 They're much better when they're still just a little bit crisp, in my opinion.
03:42 But I'm not you.
03:43 You're just gonna have to go with your own personal private feelings inside.
03:47 Which are governed by the emotional center, which is right here.
03:51 So delicious.
03:53 And it's, uh...
03:55 Just tastes so good.
03:57 [music]
03:58 You suck at cooking, oh my god.
04:03 You suck, you suck at cooking, oh my god.
04:10 You suck so much.
04:16 You suck so much.
04:23 (whooshing)