Category
🦄
CreativityTranscript
00:00 First thing we're gonna do is harvest one of the top two most important ingredients of the coconut macaroon, which is the coconut.
00:06 They swim up here to spawn. And while we're technically not supposed to harvest spawning coconuts,
00:12 this is when they taste their richest and milkiest. Oh, come on. That's just cheap.
00:17 You suck at cooking. Yeah, you totally suck.
00:22 To get this coconut shredded, you want to place it on the grass, grab your push mower,
00:27 gently push your mower up to the edge of the coconut until it's fully stabilized. Now slo-mo smash a different coconut.
00:34 Hold your grater against the stabilized handle, take a piece of coconut and grate that into your bag.
00:38 The mowage vibrations really help get these into the right size and shape for macaroons.
00:43 Except that the mower isn't actually on because I let go of the safety handle and also this lawnmower doesn't work.
00:49 If you don't live near a river where the coconuts spawn, you can also cut some grass clippings.
00:54 Put them in a bowl with some icing sugar and just wang-jangle those together with your pair of snippy lever knives until they become
01:01 100% pure coconut. Or you can take those grass clippings and paint them with some whiteout,
01:07 which is basically an ancient analog delete button. But these macaroons would be strictly decorative.
01:12 Hey mom, I made you a Mother's Day thing. Get out of my room.
01:16 Okay. Now that we have the coconut issue sorted out, you're gonna have to collect some condensed milk.
01:21 The way you do that is by going to the store and buying a can of it.
01:25 So we're gonna combine equal parts coconut and condensed milk, and I forgot my can of- oh, there it is.
01:33 You might notice that condensed milk looks exactly like glue.
01:43 Well, you know what they say, if it looks like glue and it tastes like sweet baby cow food, then it's probably delicious glue.
01:49 Now let's just wang-jangle these together until it looks like coconut coleslaw.
01:53 Then you want to parchment paper your pan.
01:56 Then take a spoon or a little ice cream scoop and try to make these around the size of a golf ball.
02:01 The easiest way to do that is to use a baseball for scale, and you're aiming for about half the size of the baseball.
02:07 Let's just double check that. Yep, looks good.
02:10 We're gonna put the undo on three fundo, slide these inside, and we'll bake them until they start to get a little golden brown.
02:17 Probably about 12 minutes or so. You can also turn the broiler on for a minute at the end if they're not golden enough.
02:22 Now you can stop here. The macaroons are done.
02:25 But when you die, do you want your friends and family to have known you as someone who made mediocre macaroons?
02:31 Or as someone who made the best macaroons possible?
02:34 If you want to be known as someone who made the best macaroons possible,
02:38 turn off this video, get a better recipe that involves egg whites and other fancy bullsh*t, and start over.
02:43 But if you want to make the best macaroons with the least amount of work possible, it's time to get some chocolate.
02:49 Since you don't own a double boiler, and you probably don't know how to use a microwave, we're gonna melt this chocolate directly in the pan.
02:55 It's the simplest and most dangerous way to melt chocolate.
02:58 Chocolate's easy to burn. Go in the lowest possible temperature and stir continuously. Most importantly, do not get distracted.
03:06 If you only have one hand available, tape the handle of your pot to a big bottle of booze.
03:10 "Don't stop stirring," I said. Now cut off that duct tape and get ready to drizzle that chocolate any way you wantlet.
03:16 You can do the dripsy doodle, the jerky circle, the cheap zebra, the lost archaeological treasure, or the lake of chocolawesome.
03:24 If there's some extra chocolate left over, stir in some more coconut and you get bonus cookies.
03:29 In fact, you might as well just make these instead. They're easier and they're certified glue-free.
03:35 Look at this. So many different styles of chocolate perfection.
03:39 This is a real opportunity to express yourself, and these taste awesome, so it really doesn't matter if they look good or,
03:45 "Oh, I actually that one looks really pro." Not pro, pro. Not pro, pro. Not pro, pro.
03:51 Now you're finally ready to serve your macaroons with a side of prunes,
03:55 and maybe a bag of runes, and a handful of balloons with three or four spoons, while listening to some tunes in the afternoon,
04:03 until it becomes evening and you can gaze up at the entire outer space region.
04:08 [birds chirping]
04:10 [BLANK_AUDIO]