Coronation Street 26th July 2023
Coronation Street 26th July 2023
Category
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TVTranscription
00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:03 You, um, you sure you don't want me to cancel things
00:26 and come with you today?
00:29 Volunteering to hang out in the M&E consultants room?
00:31 What are you trying to get out of?
00:33 Yeah, well, there was nothing like that.
00:36 Oh, maybe just a little.
00:39 What could be possibly worse than my hospital, then?
00:43 A meeting about climate change and sustainability
00:46 in the church.
00:48 I can postpone it.
00:49 No, it's all right.
00:51 Don't have anything new to tell me.
00:53 It's not about that, though, is it?
00:55 It's about making sure you're receiving the best treatment
00:57 and that everything's updated.
01:00 About as useless as an oil change on a write-off.
01:03 You are not a write-off.
01:05 You are a Subaru Impreza rally car.
01:11 How do you remember that?
01:12 Because when you said it was your dream car,
01:13 I had to look it up.
01:14 I didn't know what one was.
01:15 [LAUGHS]
01:17 What'd I do without you?
01:19 It's a good job you don't have to think about that, isn't it?
01:22 Because I'm right here.
01:26 Hey.
01:27 I thought you'd have gone by now.
01:29 I didn't realise the time.
01:30 Honestly, I had to fill out that many forms
01:33 to get Harry into holiday club.
01:34 And then they were asking me about that many allergies.
01:36 I almost developed one myself.
01:39 I'll tell you what.
01:40 I'll do a swap with you if you want this morning.
01:41 I'll go and beat Elle Woods, and then you
01:42 can go and visit Uncle Stephen.
01:44 No, you're all right, thanks.
01:46 What's that look for?
01:49 Mum's saying that Gran doesn't want
01:50 to do anything for her birthday.
01:52 It's not like her.
01:53 No.
01:54 Look, I really blame her after the fiasco of last year.
01:56 You don't think she's struggling again, do you?
01:58 Well, don't make the same mistake.
02:00 Go find her and ask.
02:01 If nothing else, she'll appreciate that you care.
02:03 Yeah, OK.
02:04 I'll just add it to the very long list
02:06 of things I've got to do today.
02:07 I just-- I think things would be so much easier if people were
02:10 honest about how they feel.
02:11 Like, I don't mind helping, but I'm not a mind reader.
02:13 Hiya, it's, uh, Paul Foreman.
02:23 Take a seat over there, please.
02:25 Oh, it's kept in awkward.
02:30 Shouldn't you be somewhere walking on eggshells?
02:32 Look, I'm, um, sorry I disappeared.
02:43 I had to get off, because, um--
02:44 I know why you left.
02:46 Everyone does first time.
02:48 Took me a few goes.
02:50 But inside that room, it's your future.
02:53 It's not easy seeing what's coming down that road.
02:56 Don't worry, I wasn't offended.
02:59 Oh, good.
03:01 You'll be back.
03:03 Curiosity will get you in the end.
03:05 Might even pick up some life hacks.
03:08 Death hacks, I call them.
03:10 Hitchhikers' Guide to Dying.
03:12 All the accessible pubs.
03:14 Best gin to drink, or morphine.
03:17 You always had that sense of humor.
03:18 Very much.
03:20 It's definitely getting worse.
03:22 Great thing is, you can say anything.
03:25 I mean, who's going to tell you off?
03:29 Probably get away with murder.
03:30 I got away with stealing a car.
03:42 Now that's the kind of positive mental attitude
03:44 I can get behind.
03:45 They're running behind.
03:50 Hope you like waiting.
03:52 Actually, let's grab a magazine.
03:54 We can have a flick through together.
03:57 I always play hot or not in the pictures.
03:59 Oh, no.
04:11 No.
04:12 Tell me what you see.
04:19 Packet of biscuits.
04:20 Cheap ones.
04:21 Don't even have chocolate on them.
04:23 No, you are both missing the point.
04:25 How about I tell you what I see?
04:28 Because I see--
04:29 I see marketing meetings and product design.
04:32 I see the hopes and the dreams of a biscuit manufacturer.
04:36 I see overheads and profit margins.
04:38 I see the wheels of commerce going round and around
04:40 and around.
04:41 I see a corporate machine, and it is a beautiful thing.
04:45 Yeah, well, shame it tastes like cardboard, innit?
04:48 And your point is?
04:49 Well, you need to start seeing these things.
04:52 You need to look at the work and the detail behind the products.
04:55 Because you know, you're going to ascend to the tippity
04:57 top of the corporate ladder.
04:58 You're going to join the elite.
05:00 I'm not, though.
05:01 I'm a glorified chauffeur.
05:02 For now, it's only a matter of time
05:03 before you're the heart of it all.
05:05 No, I mean, we all have to pay our dues,
05:08 grease the wheels, so to speak.
05:09 I mean, this is just an initiation.
05:11 I mean, I did crunch some numbers last night.
05:13 Showed them to Darren.
05:14 See?
05:15 That's my Buddhist ambition.
05:18 You're going to be in that office before you know it, son.
05:20 Darren's wife will be devastated.
05:22 What do you mean by that?
05:23 Well, she'll lose her ride, won't she?
05:26 Morning.
05:27 Amy, tell me what you see.
05:30 Packet of naff biscuits.
05:31 Why?
05:32 Ignore him.
05:33 Morning to you, too.
05:34 Shh.
05:35 Head's in the zone.
05:39 His head is swimming with figures and projections.
05:42 You go on, my son.
05:44 You thrust your talent in their faces.
05:46 [THUD]
05:46 [GASP]
05:47 That was rather a letdown.
05:54 Well, it was a gardening mag.
05:57 Well, do not think having a gardening mag in an MND clinic
06:00 is a bit poor taste.
06:03 I'm closer to pushing up daisies than pruning them.
06:05 Hm.
06:06 Do you mind if I ask you, um, how long it's been?
06:14 You've already seen my consultant.
06:17 I'm waiting for employee of the month to take me to church.
06:19 Um, no, I meant, um, how long have you had MND?
06:23 No.
06:25 I'm not playing that game.
06:27 Don't go trying to chat yours by mine.
06:31 We can chat about every little detail.
06:34 But talking about time, it's just a waste of it.
06:37 I guess.
06:39 Besides, you might not have my sunny disposition
06:41 to get you through the bad days.
06:44 I don't mean that in a bad way.
06:47 In the grand national of life, some ponies fall out the first.
06:51 I hope you don't, of course.
06:54 Strapping men like you?
06:58 It's ironic.
07:00 It's your mental strength that matters the most now.
07:03 If only all them gym bunnies knew.
07:06 That's the more important one.
07:09 Oh.
07:10 Want to come through?
07:11 Aye.
07:13 (DOOR OPENS)
07:14 (DOOR CLOSES)
07:15 (SIGHS)
07:16 Are you, um...
07:20 Are you going to be all right without your carer?
07:23 Carer? Not baby.
07:25 Babies have carers.
07:26 Me and you, we have personal assistants.
07:29 My PA will be here soon.
07:32 But good luck.
07:33 Ask him if he can still play the piano.
07:36 The look on his face will be priceless.
07:38 (LAUGHS)
07:41 Mum, we've got a visitor.
07:43 Oh.
07:49 Hello.
07:50 I'll just take myself anywhere else.
07:55 Um, your last text said you were staying here.
08:01 Um, I just wanted to pop by and see how you are.
08:06 Oh, well...
08:08 I'm...
08:09 I'm all right, you know.
08:11 Good.
08:12 Um, I did hear about you and Stephen parting ways,
08:18 and, well, I know this will be very forward,
08:24 but, uh, I just wondered if I might take you for a drink sometime?
08:29 Oh, I'm very flattered.
08:32 And I'd love to say yes, but...
08:34 But I just don't think I'm ready.
08:38 Oh, of course, I totally understand.
08:40 Thank you, though.
08:42 Our Tai Chi night out was exactly what I needed.
08:49 It... It reminded me that nice men like you do actually exist.
08:54 Oh, I don't think...
08:56 And if I'm honest,
08:58 it gave me the push I needed to end things with Stephen.
09:03 I'm happy to have helped you in your thoughts.
09:08 (Birds chirping)
09:10 Getting your murder mystery on?
09:14 Yeah, I was hoping it'd put me to sleep, but it's so bad, I'm, uh...
09:18 I'm weirdly hooked.
09:20 How's everything in the factory?
09:22 You're in hospital, OK?
09:24 You're not meant to be worrying about that kind of thing.
09:26 I, uh, I got you some PJs.
09:28 Oh, thank you.
09:29 Hey, listen, I was wondering if you could give my car keys to Michael?
09:31 Maybe he could make use of my car while I'm out of action.
09:33 Well, he won't say no to that. That's very nice of you.
09:36 Well, with everything, I want to concentrate on me,
09:39 be the... the best version I can, first start.
09:42 Seems like you're in a very positive place.
09:44 Oh, I am.
09:46 Oh, and also, I was wondering if you could get my briefcase.
09:49 Someone recommended a book, and I wrote it down.
09:51 Yeah, sure.
09:52 Yeah, only so much of this literary genius I can take.
10:04 Hey, Al. You still here?
10:06 Yep. Can't get rid of me.
10:08 Mm-hm.
10:09 Do you know when your, um, PA will be back?
10:13 Hopefully soon.
10:15 Apparently, this is a safe place to leave me and my army.
10:18 It's a change in the guard.
10:21 One shift's finished and the other's stuck in traffic.
10:24 How many have you got?
10:26 I'm collecting them. It's like stamps in a book.
10:28 Few more, I'll get one free.
10:32 To be honest, I'd be lost without them.
10:34 Good PAs are hard to find.
10:36 Mine lot are brilliant.
10:38 How was your appointment?
10:41 He said I'm cured.
10:44 Great!
10:46 Oh, put you on as a PA on my roster.
10:49 It's an easy job and you don't have to cook for me.
10:52 What is that? Is that for food?
10:56 It's an NJ. It's not a peg one.
10:59 Cos apparently I have a high-riding stomach.
11:01 Who knew?
11:03 Don't worry, he'll get used to all the acronyms.
11:05 Just cos I've got one, don't mean you will.
11:10 I've been trying lots to think about when I can't eat.
11:15 Mm. It's hard to shove a bacon bomb through this.
11:18 Sauce gets everywhere.
11:30 I'm really scared, Shelley.
11:32 Me too.
11:36 I've been trying to convince myself that I wasn't.
11:39 Stop it.
11:41 Just let it in.
11:43 If you weren't scared, there really would be something wrong with you.
11:47 When I was at school, I was really into drama.
11:52 I stood on stage petrified once.
11:54 My drama teacher bellows,
11:56 "If you're nervous, it's cos you're not making choices."
12:00 It's just always stuck with me.
12:02 So you're saying I have to start deciding stuff?
12:08 Take back control.
12:10 The one thing this can't take from you - free will.
12:15 But there will come a point
12:20 when you won't be able to tell people what you want.
12:23 So you need to plan.
12:26 It's the last chapter, Paul.
12:29 If there's anything you're desperate to do,
12:32 jump out of a plane, get married.
12:36 Now is the time to do it.
12:39 How the book ends, that's up to you.
12:43 (SIGHS)
12:44 - Oh! - Sorry.
13:00 I thought you'd have your head in a book, not a phone.
13:03 - I'm reading the news. - I try not to. It's all too bleak.
13:06 - Minds adjust. See you. - See you.
13:08 - Ta-ra. - Ooh!
13:10 Paul!
13:12 Yeah.
13:13 I was just about to text you. How'd it go?
13:15 Er... good, actually. Yeah, really good.
13:18 I mean, the appointment was boring,
13:20 but I met Shelly again from the support group.
13:22 We just got chatting properly.
13:24 - She's a great laugh. - Oh, good.
13:26 - Oh, this is... this is great. - Yeah.
13:29 Actually, it helps me clear up some things in my head.
13:32 Anything you... you want to share?
13:35 Yeah, actually, there is something I want to ask you.
13:38 - Can we meet at the flat in a bit? - Yeah, sure.
13:40 - OK, erm, I won't be long. - All right.
13:42 Get a room, will ya?!
13:46 I thought you had a lunch date.
13:52 I do.
13:53 With you.
13:55 This isn't a date.
13:57 Well, that's odd, because all the signs are suggesting otherwise.
14:00 Nice place, table for two...
14:03 drinks.
14:06 No candle. It's not a date without a candle.
14:09 Well, I'm sure I can get a candle-lap.
14:12 It's not a date.
14:14 Then why are we going to leave here?
14:17 To go and have sex?
14:19 We're not.
14:21 Last night, I...
14:23 I shouldn't have done that.
14:25 - You regret it? - Yes.
14:28 So you didn't...
14:31 - like it? - Yes.
14:33 No, I mean, I did like it.
14:38 (Door slams)
14:40 - Ah, Amy, hi. - Hi.
14:43 This is Amy from our shop.
14:45 Courtney. Lovely to meet you.
14:47 Nice to meet you, too.
14:49 Your dad sent me in for a posh coffee.
14:51 To be honest, anything to get away from him and the stock take.
14:54 It's doing me head in.
14:55 Well, I would say join us, but, erm...
14:57 we're just about to leave.
15:00 No worries. Nice to meet you.
15:05 Where are we going?
15:07 You'll see. Come along.
15:09 Are you timing my lunches now?
15:15 You've had a letter.
15:17 What's with the excited face?
15:18 Come on, just open it. Come on!
15:20 "Been nominated for Young Funeral Director of the Year."
15:34 Yes! I knew it. Same envelope they always use.
15:37 - Is that even a thing? - Oh, yes.
15:39 I remember when I was nominated for a stiffy.
15:41 - I beg your pardon? - No.
15:43 It's what we in the trade used to call it.
15:45 It's the Emmys of the funeral world.
15:47 The actual award used to be a little gold man in full rigor mortis.
15:50 Hence the name.
15:52 Until someone said it was in poor taste, so...
15:54 It's just a coffin-shaped award now.
15:56 But I got nominated one year.
15:58 Did you get us...
15:59 - ...award? - No.
16:01 No.
16:02 Lost out to Pep from a rival Italian firm.
16:05 He sings "Conte Partiro" for free as he lowers the casket.
16:09 Voice of an angel, mind.
16:10 Have a right of your poor bearers have heard of him.
16:12 But my father received the Lifetime Achievement Award.
16:15 Oh, yeah? What do they call them?
16:17 Lifetime Achievement Award.
16:19 Ah. That's rather disappointing.
16:22 Oi, that's...
16:24 That's my dinner!
16:27 (Door opens)
16:29 - Fuck! - Ah!
16:40 You realise that could have been someone robbing the place?
16:44 What? With a key?
16:46 What you listening to?
16:48 Metro booming in the weekend.
16:50 A song called "Creeping".
16:52 It's quite good, actually.
16:53 If I knew who they were.
16:55 Well, it's a cover of a 2004 Mario Weinman song.
16:59 Yeah, well, I was already uncool in 2004.
17:03 Well, in the original, they sampled an Enya track.
17:07 Oh, I do recognise Enya, but I probably shouldn't admit to that.
17:11 Yeah, Enya's super cool.
17:13 Anyway, what are you, erm... what you up to now?
17:17 Er, nothing. Why? What do you fancy doing?
17:19 Wait, wait, it was just this morning, me and Paul, we had a... a moment.
17:24 Oh, so you just want a little private time?
17:27 No, it's just... he said he got something to ask me.
17:31 Really?
17:34 What, you don't think he could be, like, getting down on one knee?
17:38 Well, I must admit, the thought did cross my mind.
17:41 What would you say?
17:43 Yes, obviously, my job.
17:45 Well, he wouldn't let your job get in the way.
17:47 No, no, but it's, you know, it's complicated.
17:49 Oh, no, it isn't. Billy, just say yes.
17:52 I... and I will go and get a coffee.
17:55 THEY LAUGH
17:58 Right.
18:01 Coffee table.
18:04 Right hand side, second fired up.
18:08 Yeah, I can see it. Just give me a minute.
18:10 You might have to get dressed and fetch another bottle.
18:12 Oh, I'm gonna have to call you back.
18:14 Addy! Addy, you've got a guest!
18:17 Sorry, I'm a bit... bit out of breath.
18:21 I need to explain. Some things you really can't unhear.
18:25 Who is it?
18:27 Oh...
18:29 Yeah, I can't explain it. It's exactly what it looks like.
18:33 Good to know. We just needed this file for the stock take.
18:37 How's it going?
18:39 Are you seriously asking me that right now?
18:42 I'm gonna go.
18:47 DOORBELL RINGS
18:49 You know, I never knew who to sit at the beach trough.
19:00 She's cute.
19:02 Now, come on, Tiger, let's go.
19:04 Rrrrr!
19:06 So how did it go with the pacemaker?
19:09 Don't call him that.
19:12 He asked me out. Respectfully.
19:15 You know, cos he knows I've only just broken up with Stephen.
19:19 Did he start by saying, "Don't let the sun catch you crying"?
19:22 Are you leaving us?
19:24 When did he pack that?
19:26 It was packed already.
19:28 I hope you're not taking a ferry across the Mersey.
19:30 Timothy!
19:32 Old Jerry's just been asking her out.
19:35 Whoa, he didn't waste any time, did he?
19:37 Was he saying, "I like it, I like it"?
19:39 Do you know what? One more of those and I'm really gonna get angry.
19:42 So what did you say?
19:44 I said no. I just...
19:46 I just need some time to be me.
19:48 Yeah.
19:50 Do you want Tim to carry your bag back to the flat?
19:52 No, I'm not going back to the flat.
19:54 I'm, er... I'm gonna stay with my friend Sue in Scarborough.
19:57 Well, you know you should really stay here, Mum. Let us look after you.
20:00 No. No, no, no. I need time to think.
20:03 But this is all my fault.
20:05 I've made up my mind.
20:08 DOOR OPENS
20:10 DOOR CLOSES
20:12 Hiya.
20:14 You spill your tea down you or something?
20:16 No, I just... I'd get spruced up out of my work year.
20:20 What's that smell?
20:22 Oh, it's a candle.
20:24 Thought it smelled nice.
20:26 Well, erm, how was the climate thing?
20:31 Oh, yeah, it was fine.
20:33 I, er...
20:35 ..thought you'd got something you wanted to ask me.
20:39 Yeah.
20:41 I've been doing some thinking.
20:44 Go on.
20:45 About what I want, you know.
20:47 How I want this to play out.
20:49 Speaking to Shelley, erm...
20:52 She's right.
20:54 Time isn't on my side, so...
20:56 ..I've got a plan.
20:58 Get on with things.
21:00 Which brings me to you.
21:03 Me?
21:05 What if what I want gets you into trouble, you know?
21:10 With the big man?
21:12 Well, erm, without knowing what it is, it's hard to say.
21:16 But...
21:18 ..you do know that you come first, right?
21:21 You are my number one priority.
21:24 Your happiness means everything.
21:27 It's just hard.
21:32 Knowing what I'd like and what you're allowed
21:36 don't exactly go together.
21:38 I love you.
21:42 And I wouldn't want to put you in a position
21:44 where you have to choose between me and your faith.
21:47 Just...
21:50 ..ask me.
21:52 OK?
21:55 I know that someday...
21:58 ..I won't be able to say and do the things that I want.
22:02 So before that happens...
22:04 ..I want you to promise me that you'll help me end my life.
22:30 This isn't funny.
22:32 I'm being serious.
22:34 You want me to kill you?
22:39 I didn't say that.
22:41 You can dress it up however you like, but that's what you're talking about.
22:44 You'd be putting me out of my misery.
22:46 Like a dog.
22:48 Maybe you need some more time to think about it.
22:51 You are?
22:55 Are you serious? Are we...?
22:58 Are we really having this conversation?
23:01 I told you I'd been speaking to Shelley.
23:03 Is that what she's going to do?
23:05 No, I don't think so, but...
23:07 ..but she's stronger than me.
23:10 If she can deal with what's coming, I can.
23:12 You don't know how you're going to be feeling!
23:14 I'm just asking you to think about it.
23:16 Yeah? I come first, that's what you said.
23:18 Well, prove it.
23:20 You love me, don't you?
23:22 That isn't fair.
23:24 Fair?
23:27 Right, I'm 32,
23:29 and I struggle to get out of the bath on my own.
23:32 At some point, I won't be able to speak.
23:35 I won't be able to feed myself.
23:37 You'll have to help me get on and off the toilet.
23:39 And it's only going to get worse, so...
23:41 ..don't talk to me about fair.
23:44 Will you...
23:52 ..at least think about it?
23:55 HE SIGHS
23:56 Wow. Just wow.
24:04 You're not going to tell anyone, are you?
24:06 I mean, wow.
24:07 Stop saying wow.
24:09 She must be, like, 40.
24:10 She's only 30.
24:11 She's your boss's wife!
24:13 I know.
24:14 Your dad is going to kill you.
24:16 Her husband's going to kill me.
24:18 How long's this been going on for?
24:20 It started last night.
24:22 What were you thinking? Or weren't you thinking?
24:24 I'm... I'm just trying to keep everybody happy.
24:27 Well, she looked happy, I'll give you that.
24:29 Look, if you're just going to take the mic...
24:31 Stop panicking, OK?
24:33 I'm not going to say anything.
24:34 ..it's not going to happen again.
24:36 PHONE RINGS
24:38 It's her.
24:42 What am I going to do?
24:50 I don't think he wanted to take that call.
24:52 It's the woman from the wholesalers.
24:54 She's very pushy.
24:56 Carol's just boiled.
25:01 Well, I can't stop her.
25:02 I've got to go and pick something up for Uncle Stephen, but listen...
25:05 So, Gran still doesn't want to do anything for her birthday,
25:08 but I was thinking maybe me and you could go out.
25:11 1940 Audrey was born.
25:13 She's seen it all, from World War II to the pandemic.
25:17 Mm, all with the same hairdo.
25:19 So, then, me and you, go somewhere for our tea?
25:22 Yeah. Yeah, if you like.
25:24 Don't sound too excited.
25:26 Is everything OK?
25:28 Yeah.
25:30 OK, well, listen, you can tell me now,
25:32 or I can get it out of you tonight, cos I know there's something.
25:35 I don't know how to panic. It's like yesterday.
25:40 It didn't last very long. I don't know what caused it.
25:42 Me? I caused it.
25:44 This is why I didn't want to tell you.
25:46 I've done this to you. I mean, you've been paranoid...
25:48 I haven't helped myself, OK? It's pathetic.
25:50 Audrey was the one brought up with bombs and rations,
25:53 and I'm the one having panic attacks.
25:55 Please stop it. Come on. Stop acting like it's nothing.
25:57 You can't pull up how you feel.
25:59 I just want it to stop happening.
26:01 Well, listen, we can talk about it tonight, yeah?
26:04 We'll sort it. Together.
26:07 SHE SIGHS
26:09 You're not thinking straight.
26:19 You're depressed. It's understandable.
26:22 I am not depressed.
26:24 Sad, yeah. Angry, yeah.
26:28 Scared, obviously.
26:30 Of dying, but what I'm more scared of
26:33 is getting to the point where I don't want to be here any more
26:36 and there's nothing I can do about it.
26:38 I just have to sit there and suffer
26:40 while everyone else makes decisions for me.
26:43 Is that how you want me to go out?
26:45 What I want is for us to make the most of the time that we've got left.
26:49 So do I. I just want to cut out the nasty bit at the end.
26:53 That's still part of life.
26:55 That's easy for you to say.
26:57 I've got stuff I need to do at work.
27:03 It's not as important as this.
27:05 I am not going to help you kill yourself.
27:09 It's called assisted dying.
27:11 As far as I'm concerned, it is still killing and it is wrong.
27:15 Not to mention it's against the law.
27:17 Well, I don't think anyone's ever been banged up for it.
27:20 That doesn't make it right.
27:22 Look, I'm not saying I'm definitely going to do it.
27:25 Yeah, I'm going to look into it properly.
27:28 Do the research and if it is something I decide to do,
27:31 then I hope you'll support me.
27:33 Let's just look at a few websites, yeah?
27:38 Like I said, I've not done the research,
27:41 but I do know that it's legal in some countries,
27:44 so I don't know, maybe we could go abroad.
27:46 Could we? Get a nice little holiday out of it?
27:48 Kill two birds and my boyfriend?
27:50 Look, you're not even prepared to talk about this, are you?
27:53 No. I'm not sitting here planning ways to make sure
27:56 that we have less time together.
27:58 Well, yeah, great. Just think of all those extra weeks we could have
28:02 where I can't move a muscle and you're feeding me through a straw.
28:05 Can't wait.
28:07 Take care of yourself, OK?
28:18 She's going to Scarborough, she's not climbing the Himalayas.
28:21 Give her a ring when you get there, eh? Free rings.
28:23 Yeah, she knew already.
28:26 HE CHUCKLES
28:28 Do you think I should warn her about Stephen and say what?
28:40 I mean, you don't trust him anyway, do you?
28:42 She's with Owen, she's not interested in Stephen.
28:45 Is Elaine leaving? Looks that way.
28:51 Um, how's Stephen?
28:55 There was a point we thought we were going to lose him.
28:57 But, yeah, he seems to be doing all right, actually.
28:59 I'm just back off to the hospital now.
29:01 Oh, well, give him my love.
29:03 Or maybe you could. I'm sure he'd love to see you.
29:06 No, you can't be here.
29:18 Well, you weren't saying that a couple of hours ago.
29:20 My dad will be home any minute.
29:22 All right, calm down.
29:24 She come to get me glasses. I think I left them in the bedroom.
29:27 I remember taking them off when I was looking for something in my handbag.
29:30 Didn't know you wore glasses.
29:32 There's a lot you don't know about me.
29:34 You're a quick learner, though.
29:36 HE CHUCKLES
29:37 Would you lighten up? It's just a bit of fun.
29:40 Won't be much fun when your husband finds out.
29:42 He might start paying a bit more attention to you, mate.
29:44 You're not going to tell him?
29:46 Of course not.
29:48 Amy's not going to say anything.
29:50 Well, we've got nothing to worry about, then, have we?
29:52 Unless someone finds me glasses.
29:54 Hey, what are you doing tonight, by the way?
29:56 No, we can't.
29:57 No, it's just I've got two tickets for a box at Weatherfield County.
30:00 Darren's out golfing again and I don't want to go on my own.
30:03 I don't think that's a good idea.
30:05 Look, you're just my driver from now on, OK?
30:08 It's strictly professional. I know, but...
30:10 You want to help your dad get this deal over the line, don't you?
30:12 Well, it's going to look a bit suspicious if we start avoiding each other.
30:15 OK.
30:17 All right, then.
30:19 Now, glasses.
30:21 Off you pop.
30:24 [Clears throat]
30:27 [Clears throat]
30:30 [Clears throat]
30:33 [Sighs]
31:01 [Sighs]
31:03 It's your birthday. You should be out gallivanting.
31:06 Oh, my gallivanting days are well over, sweetheart.
31:09 Oh, come on, we can go for a quick snifter on the way home.
31:12 No, thank you.
31:13 Oh, just one drink.
31:14 Happy birthday!
31:16 Oh, you remembered the cake.
31:18 [Laughs]
31:19 I hope you're not expecting me to blow out 83 candles.
31:22 No, please.
31:23 Oh, I see. Oh, no, I can manage that.
31:25 Thank you so much.
31:27 I haven't had a chance to get you anything.
31:28 I don't want a present. I want you to pull through, please.
31:31 Oh, well, I won't bother giving you that voucher for the massage parlor, then.
31:35 Massage? Oh, it's not one of those knocking shops, is it?
31:38 Oh, I hope so, 'cause I'm coming with you.
31:41 [Laughs]
31:42 Um, I brought your briefcase in and I bumped into Jenny and she said she might pop in.
31:47 Jenny? Oh, as one door closes.
31:50 Oh, we're just good friends.
31:52 [Sighs]
31:54 Look at you, young funeral director of the year.
31:58 And I said you'd never amount to anything.
32:00 You said I'd never amount to anything.
32:01 I'm joking. I'm dead chuffed for you.
32:03 Hey, is it like the Oscars? Do you get a goody bag at the funeral awards?
32:07 You get a coffin on a keeling and a jar of embalming fluid.
32:10 You're not funny, right? Either of you.
32:13 Be on your own, love.
32:14 I'm always on one.
32:17 You know what? I'll have a shot and halve.
32:19 Um, what's that blue stuff?
32:21 Curacao.
32:22 That bottle's been here longer than I have.
32:24 Yeah, go on then, why not?
32:26 Try something new while you still can. That's my motto.
32:29 Are you all right, love?
32:30 Never better.
32:31 Are you sure?
32:33 Can I just have the shot, please?
32:35 (SINGING)
32:41 What about a new suit for the big night?
32:59 Todd.
33:01 It's fine. We'll talk about it later.
33:04 Can you at least pretend to be interested about this funeral thing?
33:08 You've done nothing but joke about it.
33:10 Anyway, I've told you I'm not going.
33:12 You are going if I have to drag you. This is a big deal to George.
33:15 I don't care how big it is.
33:18 What are you talking about giving you a pay rise?
33:23 I suppose I could show my face for a bit.
33:27 If you have to stop and take a little drive in an electric car,
33:30 it's probably not a sport, but it's all he wants to do.
33:34 Two more.
33:36 We should be getting to the match.
33:38 Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you.
33:40 I've got two VIP tickets to see Olly Mays in Liverpool next month.
33:43 Darling's at a charity golf do, of course, so you'd be interested.
33:47 It might start getting a bit weird.
33:49 No, I know. I prefer his old stuff as well.
33:52 (SINGING)
33:56 Well, not just.
33:59 People are looking.
34:01 I can't help it. I like nice things.
34:04 And I like being able to walk.
34:06 Your husband's going to break my legs with a five-iron.
34:09 I'll push you.
34:11 Look, it's not like I'm going to leave him to shack up with an 18-year-old,
34:14 but it doesn't mean we can't have some.
34:17 Come on.
34:19 Hey, I've booked a room upstairs.
34:23 You didn't really want to go to the football, did you?
34:27 (CAR ENGINE ROARS)
34:30 So? Did he propose?
34:40 Paul? Eh, no. No.
34:43 Oh.
34:45 What did he want to ask you?
34:47 Oh, no, it was... It was nothing.
34:49 Well, it must have meant something.
34:51 He just, erm, he wanted to talk about where we were at
34:54 and the benefit stuff, his pip, his income support.
34:57 I don't want to bore you with it.
34:59 So there's not going to be a wedding, then?
35:01 No. No, I'm afraid not.
35:04 I'm sorry.
35:08 Me too.
35:10 Tell me what's wrong.
35:12 Nothing's wrong. I'm fine.
35:14 I'm just trying to have a quiet drink.
35:22 Which apparently is impossible in here.
35:24 You looking for business?
35:26 Whoa, that came out wrong.
35:28 It was a joke, you know, cos you work in a funeral parlour and I'm dying.
35:31 Yeah, I got it.
35:33 It's a bit early for shots, isn't it?
35:35 Well, that's the thing with M&D.
35:37 Everyone just assumes you're drunk anyway, so...
35:39 What's all this about?
35:41 Oh, putting it on the bad side.
35:44 Very sneaky.
35:47 HE SIGHS
35:49 I asked Billy, would he help me?
35:54 You know, when the time comes, he didn't take it so well.
35:58 Help you with what? Washing up? Times cross with?
36:01 He didn't.
36:07 Only when I can't do stuff for myself anymore.
36:09 You know, when I can't speak or move or swallow properly.
36:13 I mean, would you want to carry on living like that?
36:16 Er... Probably not.
36:18 This is Billy we're talking about.
36:20 It goes against everything that he believes in.
36:23 So, what, he just wants to see me suffer?
36:26 Of course he wouldn't.
36:28 It's a massive thing that you're asking him to do.
36:31 Not just cos of his job, but cos he doesn't want to lose you.
36:36 Come on, then.
36:39 Ah, here she is, the birthday girl, 83 years young.
36:43 Oh, and I've still got all my marbles.
36:45 Well, almost.
36:47 Oh, there's plenty of life in this old dog.
36:51 Oh, sorry, sweetheart.
36:54 What was that about marbles?
36:57 Er, happy birthday, Audrey.
36:59 - All the best, Audrey. - Thank you.
37:01 83?
37:03 I'll just talk to Billy, sort it out.
37:07 (SIGHS)
37:09 So he's playing up for ten and he's cards 106 on the 72 course.
37:18 I mean... Oh, I had to laugh.
37:20 Well, you would, wouldn't you?
37:22 Don't ask.
37:23 If that isn't bad enough, OK, get to the clubhouse and guess what?
37:26 He's booked a table for two and Miss Courtney is a no-show.
37:31 Have we gone for a meal?
37:33 She's stood him up.
37:35 You haven't seen her, have you?
37:37 Courtney? No, not since this afternoon in the bistro.
37:40 I'll tell you that, Darren, he was shooing.
37:42 Listen, come here, just between us.
37:45 OK, I think they're having problems in the bedroom department,
37:49 if you know what I'm saying.
37:51 - I think we know what you're saying. - Sexually saying.
37:54 - Dad! - Something wrong with your neck?
37:56 I'm not one to gossip, OK, but I don't want any marital problems.
37:59 Put a moccasin on this deal.
38:01 So the next time you see this Courtney, do a bit of digging, get under her skin.
38:04 I'm really sorry, I've got to go.
38:07 Just dropped by to pop the file back.
38:09 - Yeah. - How do you see me out?
38:11 - Bye. - Bye.
38:13 See you.
38:15 You have got lipstick on your neck.
38:19 I thought you said you weren't going to see her any more.
38:21 I couldn't help it.
38:24 (Door opens)
38:26 (Door closes)
38:31 I, erm, I don't want to fight.
38:38 Someone's gone out to get something for tea, so I should be back any minute.
38:42 I don't want to fight either.
38:44 I haven't told her what you said.
38:50 And I'm really sorry, if you think I'm being selfish, maybe I am.
38:54 Obviously, you can tell her if you want to, but...
38:57 I'm not going to change my mind.
39:00 You don't have to. I've changed mine.
39:03 I shouldn't have asked. Forget I said anything.
39:06 Forget? Because you don't want to end your life,
39:11 or because you're going to go and do it without me?
39:14 I don't want to end my life.
39:19 Hmm. You seemed pretty certain about it before.
39:23 You were right. I wasn't thinking straight.
39:26 You're not just saying that.
39:31 I want to spend more time together, not less.
39:34 You know, when you said you'd got something to ask me, I thought that...
39:41 Oh, no, it doesn't matter what I thought.
39:44 What?
39:46 No, no, just forget about it.
39:49 No, go on.
39:51 I thought you were going to propose.
39:58 I know. Stupid, isn't it?
40:01 Did you want me to propose?
40:03 No. Obviously, yes.
40:06 But only if that was something you wanted to do,
40:08 but forget I said anything.
40:10 No, no, it's a good idea.
40:13 I mean, I think I'm going to struggle to get it down on one knee,
40:16 but will you marry me?
40:18 No, honestly, forget it.
40:20 I'm serious.
40:22 You sure?
40:26 I'm sure.
40:29 Will you marry me?
40:32 Yes, of course I'll marry you.
40:36 You go out for five minutes?
40:41 (Laughs)
40:43 No rest for the wicked, eh?
41:01 Oh, it's just a bit of paperwork.
41:03 How are you feeling?
41:05 Better now.
41:07 Flattery will get you nowhere.
41:09 Oh, thank you.
41:11 Hey, listen, have a seat.
41:13 So what have you done to yourself, then?
41:16 I hear it was almost good now at Vienna.
41:18 Was that Mark Twain quote?
41:21 "Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated."
41:25 What about the reports of your relationship?
41:27 No, that is definitely dead.
41:30 I saw Elaine leaving before.
41:33 Well, Elaine's a wonderful person,
41:35 but I don't think we were ever really meant for each other.
41:39 Well, I've got to be honest, I never really thought she was your type.
41:43 Who do you think is my type?
41:46 (Phone rings)
41:48 Oh, it's Owen.
41:52 Hi, Owen.
41:54 Huh? Tonight?
41:57 Cheeky. I am not that kind of girl.
42:00 Actually, I'm completely that kind of girl.
42:03 Yeah, well, you'll just have to wait and see, won't you?
42:07 So, are you going to talk to anyone?
42:12 I'm speaking to you.
42:14 I know, I mean a professional.
42:16 I mean, it's happened more than once now,
42:18 and if you don't do anything about it, it might keep happening.
42:21 Hey, you OK?
42:23 Yeah, yeah, good, actually, really good.
42:25 I'm good. Adam's good. So, yeah, we're both good.
42:28 Well, that's good.
42:30 I'm in a panic attack.
42:32 You knew before I did.
42:34 Look, I didn't want to worry you when I'm fine.
42:36 Well, you're not fine, because it keeps happening.
42:38 All right, if it happens again, I'll think about speaking to someone.
42:41 You'll think about it? I'll speak to someone.
42:44 Cheers. Cheers, you man, Rogers.
42:46 Yeah.
42:48 Do you mean that? Yeah, I promise.
42:54 I've got the scan tomorrow, haven't me,
42:56 so if I'm going to be a dad, I need to be in good shape.
43:00 Where are these starters?
43:02 Chips on the way home. On a Monday?
43:05 I'll treat you.
43:06 Seems you've been nominated for Young Funeral Director of the Year.
43:09 You have to get nominated more often.
43:11 I've had chips for my lunch. So what?
43:13 You can have chips twice in one day.
43:15 Hang on, did you say Young Funeral Director?
43:17 Don't you start.
43:19 Yeah, listen, what did you say to our Paul? Is he all right?
43:22 You're probably just about to find out.
43:27 I guess he was getting married.
43:29 Are you kidding me? No, Paul's just proposed.
43:32 Oh, congratulations!
43:34 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
43:37 Shall we have one more drink? Yeah, go on.
43:39 Bottle of fizz, please, Jed.
43:41 Yeah.
43:42 He talked to me about the other day.
43:45 You were right. It was a bad idea.
43:47 I didn't say that. I just said, "Talk to him."
43:50 I did.
43:52 I've decided to drop it.
43:54 Is that what you want? To carry on living
43:57 even when you can't do stuff for yourself any more?
44:00 Yeah. Of course it's what I want.
44:03 Oh, yeah!
44:08 If you have been affected by issues raised in tonight's episode,
44:17 you can go to itv.com/advice for support information.
44:23 Next year on ITV1, it's all new Long Lost Family.
44:26 #ITV1 Theme Music
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44:40 (chiming)