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AmusantTranscription
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 (upbeat music)
00:32 - Now men, the game of Boggle is really quite simple.
00:35 The goal is to make words out of these 25 letter cubes.
00:39 (paper rustling)
00:39 (man grunts)
00:41 - Bah-me-tum-yum.
00:44 - It's gotta be a real word, honey.
00:46 - Yes, bah-me-tum-yum, Thai spicy noodle soup.
00:49 Tasty and delicious.
00:51 (crowd cheering)
00:53 - I tell ya, I hate to see Nancy cooped up all Sunday
00:57 playing that Boggle.
00:59 It's a beautiful day.
01:00 She oughta be outside hanging my laundry.
01:03 - Sunday, Sunday, and Saturday,
01:07 it's the ninth annual Dallas Mower Expo.
01:09 Be there as the biggest names in mowers,
01:11 hedgers and clippers unveil the latest
01:13 in grass cutting technology.
01:14 Thrill to the awe-inspiring spectacle
01:16 of the snapper precision mowing team.
01:18 Sea king moths take on a Texas-sized pile of twigs.
01:22 Over 10,000 oil paintings must be sold.
01:25 Don't miss the Dallas Mower Expo.
01:28 Be there!
01:29 - Pad Thai doesn't count, Min.
01:31 - Oh, I guess I win again.
01:33 - Boy, Aunt Peg, the words I don't know
01:35 could fill a dictionary.
01:37 - You know, the Elks are having a Boggle tournament
01:40 to raise bail money for their treasurer.
01:42 Maybe you should enter.
01:44 - Me? Oh, fish.
01:45 I just play for fun.
01:47 Min, you owe me $13.
01:49 - Thank you for Boggle lesson, piggy.
01:52 Maybe next week I teach you mahjong.
01:54 - Bring your checkbook.
01:56 - Hank, come on.
01:57 - Hank, I'm thinking of entering a Boggle tournament
02:00 over at the Elks.
02:02 - Boggle?
02:03 Boy, the Elks will do anything for a dollar.
02:05 Are they still playing that game
02:07 where the cow's gotta drop dung in a square?
02:10 - Boggle is nothing like cow bingo, Hank.
02:13 Boggle is a game of wits.
02:15 Cow bingo is a game of strategy.
02:18 (upbeat music)
02:19 (machinery clattering)
02:22 - Oh, yeah!
02:23 (machinery clattering)
02:27 - All right, Peggy, I replaced my watch battery,
02:30 ate a Cinnabon, and bought a P-trap.
02:32 I can't kill any more time.
02:34 Let's go.
02:35 - Shh, Hank, it is only round five.
02:38 (Hank sighs)
02:39 Hmm, impatient.
02:42 (upbeat music)
02:44 Okay, that's time.
02:45 Pencils down, let's tote 'em up.
02:47 Oh, I hope you don't mind,
02:49 but I only use words that appear in Patsy Cline lyrics.
02:52 (Hank snores)
02:56 - Oh, little sick boy.
02:58 Would you like for me to find your name
03:00 in the next boggle?
03:01 - Uh-huh. - Okay.
03:02 (paper rustling)
03:03 Oh, yeah!
03:05 - Boy, that wife of yours is pretty good.
03:07 I guess that's why they call her your better half.
03:11 - Who calls her that?
03:13 - They.
03:15 - And I hope that your leg gets better real soon,
03:18 Zachary Quinn Jr.
03:21 (men cheering)
03:23 (upbeat music)
03:27 - Oh my goodness, congratulations!
03:29 - You won, Mom!
03:30 - Looks like someone's gonna have to clear some room
03:33 on his trophy shelf.
03:35 - Easy, Peggy, that's my MVP trophy.
03:38 - Mom's trophy's bigger than yours.
03:41 - Oh, poo, I don't care about the trophy.
03:44 The real honor is getting to represent Arlen
03:46 in the State Boggle Championship.
03:48 - (gasps) You're going to state?
03:50 Ooh, that's so exciting!
03:52 Just like when Uncle Hank went to state
03:54 for high school football.
03:55 - (laughs) Oh yeah, it's exactly like that, Luanne.
03:59 - Oh, well, it might not be football,
04:01 but there are over 200 competitors
04:03 and you're allowed to bring a coach.
04:06 How you wanna be my coach?
04:07 - A boggle coach?
04:09 What would I do?
04:10 - Well, Hank, you don't have to do anything.
04:11 You just have to be there.
04:13 Unless you want me to go off to Dallas by myself.
04:16 - Dallas?
04:17 I don't want you going to Dallas at all.
04:19 That place is crawling with crackheads and debutantes
04:23 and half of 'em play for the Cowboys.
04:25 - Oh, come on, Hank.
04:27 It's just for the weekend.
04:28 We'll be back on Sunday.
04:29 - Sunday!
04:30 Sunday!
04:31 Sunday!
04:32 - Guess who's going to the mower show?
04:35 And if you guess right, you can come with me.
04:38 - It's you, right?
04:40 Did I win?
04:41 - Yep.
04:41 - Am I going?
04:42 - Boy, how'd you manage to swing that with Peggy?
04:45 She don't like mowers like we like mowers.
04:48 - Simple.
04:49 I found a boggle tournament in Dallas
04:52 to keep her busy while we have some real fun.
04:54 - Check it out, man.
04:55 Talk about a road trip up that big D motel, man.
04:57 You need to talk about the biggest names in mowers,
05:00 hedges and clippers.
05:01 Be there!
05:02 Man, it's going to be fun.
05:03 (car horn honking)
05:06 - Let's go, Peggy.
05:07 We got to get to Dallas before the gangs wake up.
05:10 - Hank!
05:11 - Shh!
05:12 - It's 4 a.m.
05:14 - Can I go back to bed, Aunt Peggy?
05:17 I need to get eight hours of beauty sleep
05:18 and then write a paper on it.
05:20 - In a minute, honey.
05:21 Now, it is very important that we know we can trust you two.
05:26 Now, no parties while we're gone.
05:29 - Okay.
05:29 (kissing)
05:30 - Bye-bye.
05:31 - On behalf of the Arlen Boggle Boosters,
05:38 I'd like to present you with this jacket.
05:40 - Good luck, Peggy.
05:41 W-I-N.
05:42 - Oh, I promise to make Derrick King,
05:45 Mr. Lube and Rivera Sump Pumps proud.
05:49 This weekend, Peggy Hill is gonna put
05:51 Arlen, Texas on the map.
05:52 - Okay, Peggy Hill.
05:54 Good luck and maybe goodbye.
05:57 - Maybe?
05:57 - Where I come from, either you come home a winner
06:00 or you not come home at all.
06:02 Good luck, Peggy Hill.
06:04 Goodbye.
06:04 (upbeat music)
06:13 (upbeat music)
06:15 - What are you watching?
06:33 - Risky Business.
06:35 - Man, that movie's got bad words in adult situations.
06:39 - Not anymore.
06:40 I rented it at Blockbuster.
06:42 - Hmm, I also got a fire safety video
06:45 starring Chuck Mangione.
06:47 Wanna watch?
06:48 - No, thanks.
06:49 I'm kinda in the middle of doing laundry.
06:52 - Okay, but remember,
06:54 Chuck says always unplug your iron after use.
06:58 - Thanks for the tip.
07:00 (upbeat music)
07:02 (tires screeching)
07:07 - It's okay, honey.
07:10 Ballet parking is included in the price of the room.
07:13 - I don't like the looks of this one, Peggy.
07:15 He's just itching to take my truck for a joy ride.
07:19 (sighs)
07:21 (doorbell rings)
07:25 (gasps)
07:26 - Oh, hi.
07:27 (gasps)
07:29 Oh, it's lovely.
07:31 Look at that.
07:34 - Oh, look everyone, it's Peggy Hill,
07:37 Bagel Champ of Arlen, Texas.
07:39 (audience applauds)
07:42 - I'm Joan, Bagel Hospitality Coordinator.
07:48 Here's your tournament tool bag,
07:50 a schedule of events, and a bagel lay.
07:52 (claps)
07:54 - Oh, Joan, this is my husband, Hank.
07:59 - Wonderful.
08:00 We have tons of the activities
08:02 to occupy your time while Peggy plays bagel.
08:04 You look like you could use a wallet.
08:06 Would you like to make a wallet?
08:08 - Uh, I don't think so.
08:10 Harley Davidson already made one for me.
08:13 - Hank is not just my husband, he is also my coach.
08:16 - Oh, well then you'll be needing one of these.
08:19 Come on, Peggy, there's a Parker brother I want you to meet.
08:26 - So take it from me, Truck Man Joanie,
08:31 unplugging the iron feels so good.
08:34 Can you dig it?
08:35 (crickets chirping)
08:38 - Bobby, wait, use the coaster.
08:42 - Uh-oh.
08:43 (gasps)
08:45 - What have you done?
08:47 That coffee table is trashed.
08:50 Your parents trusted us, Bobby, and we let them down.
08:53 - They won't be home for 48 hours.
08:56 I'll think of something.
08:58 Hey, I got it.
09:00 You think of something.
09:03 Checking in, the name's Hank Hill.
09:05 - Nope, I have a Peggy Hill.
09:09 - Yeah, that's it, Hank and Peggy Hill.
09:12 - I have a Peggy Hill.
09:14 - She's my wife.
09:15 - Oh, okay, Mr. and Mrs. Peggy Hill.
09:19 - Now you listen to me.
09:21 The name is Hank Hill, Mr. Hank Hill.
09:25 Peggy married me, I didn't marry her.
09:28 Who are you looking at?
09:32 - Oh, look, Peggy, it's Sissy Kopp,
09:35 Bagel Champion of Dallas for seven non-consecutive years.
09:39 - Oh, excuse me, Sissy, I am fellow Bagel Champ Peggy Hill.
09:46 - My, my, what an interesting jacket.
09:49 Did you patch that together yourself?
09:52 - Well, actually, it was given to me
09:53 by the Arlen Bagel Boosters.
09:55 They got local businesses to sponsor my trip.
09:57 - Oh, how exciting.
10:01 Why, you're at the very beginning
10:03 of a rags to riches story.
10:05 (laughing)
10:08 (gentle music)
10:10 - Okay, the guy at Home Depot said,
10:14 "All we gotta do is strip, sand, varnish, buff,
10:18 varnish, buff, varnish, wax, buff."
10:21 - Oh, God, your parents are gonna be home in 47 hours, hurry!
10:26 - No!
10:30 (gasping)
10:32 - That was close.
10:34 (screaming)
10:40 - Why, hello there, Peggy Hill.
10:43 Name's Burnett, Sissy Kopp's husband slash coach.
10:46 - Uh, actually, my name--
10:47 - You don't have to explain.
10:49 I got an uncle named Leslie,
10:51 and the Duke himself, John Wayne, was really named Marion.
10:54 - You take that back.
10:56 (dramatic music)
10:58 - This thing's not coming out.
11:00 I'm gonna put it on high.
11:03 (grunting)
11:05 (screaming)
11:09 (gasping)
11:14 Oh, Hank, I have dreamt of this moment
11:22 ever since I reached ages eight and up.
11:25 - Yeah, so I'll see you at dinner.
11:28 I gotta get to the mower show.
11:30 - You can't leave now.
11:32 You are my coach.
11:33 I need you.
11:35 You of all people should understand, I am at state.
11:39 This is my moment.
11:41 You know, when I close my eyes,
11:43 I see myself in the winner's circle,
11:45 and you are right there next to me, my coach, my man.
11:50 And we drive back to Arlen with that big-ass boggle trophy
11:54 mounted on the hood of your old truck
11:56 like some beautiful gold-plated,
11:59 bare-breasted Rolls-Royce Angel.
12:01 - Well, when I close my eyes,
12:04 I see myself at the mower show, and you're there too,
12:09 like some beauty queen of yore
12:12 wearing a fur coat and a gold hat.
12:17 All right, I'll stay.
12:20 - Coaches, please clear the gaming floor.
12:22 - Oh, I forgot.
12:24 Coaches have to watch from a closed-circuit TV room.
12:27 Hold my purse.
12:28 (upbeat music)
12:53 - Well, hello, Patches.
12:56 You must be here for your boggle lesson.
12:58 - Bogglers, take your marks.
13:02 - Oh, yeah.
13:05 (alarm rings)
13:09 (computer beeps)
13:12 (sighs)
13:21 (sighs)
13:23 (gasps)
13:28 - Huh, the valve cubes are running cold.
13:32 Coaches, no, it's a good day for sometimes why.
13:37 - Hey, Cobb, for $7.50,
13:39 I can ride the mower that cut the grassy knoll.
13:42 - Shh, patina, pendant, panoply, and lobster.
13:48 - Sissy Cobb, 73 points.
13:51 Peggy Hill, your words, please.
13:54 - Dang?
13:57 (laughs)
13:58 - Dang is not a word, that's just some backwoods patois.
14:03 - Winner, Sissy Cobb, 73 to zero.
14:08 - Dang.
14:09 (sobs)
14:13 - I am so stupid.
14:18 - Oh, you're not stupid.
14:21 Heck, you're smarter than me.
14:23 - Oh, big deal.
14:24 - Well, you're smarter than anyone else in Arlen.
14:29 - Well, whoop-de-doo.
14:31 I am the smartest hillbilly in hillbilly town.
14:35 - I'm trying, Peggy, I just,
14:40 hey, you know, coach used to say something
14:42 that would fire us up when we were behind.
14:45 - Yeah, what?
14:47 - Loser, you're a loser.
14:49 Are you feeling sorry for yourself?
14:51 Well, you should be 'cause you are dirt.
14:54 You make me sick, you big baby.
14:56 Baby want a bottle, a big dirt bottle?
14:59 - What are you gonna be?
15:01 - I'm trying to be your coach.
15:06 It's inspiring.
15:08 - Well, thank you 'cause I feel worse than ever.
15:13 - Well, it worked for the team.
15:16 - No, it didn't.
15:17 You went to state and lost.
15:20 - Oh, geez.
15:21 I think I need one of those $8 beers.
15:24 - You were right, Hank.
15:30 I am a loser.
15:32 I am 255 out of 256.
15:36 - Oh, come on now, you're still doing better
15:38 than a boggle-playing chicken.
15:43 (footsteps)
15:45 - Coaches, please clear the gaming floor.
15:50 - Well, I guess that's my cue.
15:52 You want me to hold your purse?
15:54 - Fine.
15:55 This shouldn't take very long anyway.
15:57 - Would you look at this place?
16:03 I feel like the party woman.
16:06 - Mm-hmm.
16:07 - Uh, Hank?
16:10 - Oh, hey guys.
16:12 - Uh, what are you doing with that purse?
16:16 - I'm holding it for Peggy.
16:17 - Uh-huh.
16:20 Come on, man.
16:21 We're missing the mower show.
16:22 Let's go.
16:23 - Well, maybe tomorrow.
16:30 - What's going on here, Hank?
16:32 - I got a pretty good dang old idea what's going on.
16:35 I tell you what, man, it's a whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
16:38 Two days ago, you were like a little boy,
16:41 all excited about the mower show.
16:44 Now you're this strange man holding a purse.
16:47 Which is it, Hank?
16:49 Are you some kind of man?
16:51 Or are you a little boy?
16:52 - I am still a little boy, damn it,
16:55 and I'm still excited about going to the mower show.
16:58 Come on, let's go.
16:59 - Hmm.
17:02 Mm-mm.
17:04 Huh?
17:06 (buzzer)
17:08 - Winner, Peggy Hill.
17:10 - Oh, I don't believe it.
17:12 You played a great game.
17:14 - And on display in booth five,
17:21 the blade from Sling Blade.
17:23 - Liberace's mower no flash photography.
17:29 (laughs)
17:31 (grunts)
17:33 - Are you sure you can get that ring out?
17:42 - Look, I can't afford any more screw-ups.
17:45 I just spent my last dollar on deodorizing carpet sealants.
17:50 - What color is that?
17:53 Is that eggshell white?
17:55 It's gotta be Swiss coffee!
17:58 - Oh, baby.
18:01 Oh, man.
18:02 (laughs)
18:04 Woo!
18:05 - Winner, Peggy Hill.
18:16 (cheers)
18:18 Winner, Peggy Hill.
18:20 (laughs)
18:21 Winner, Peggy Hill.
18:23 (cheers)
18:26 - I did it!
18:27 Guess what, Hank?
18:28 We are going to the finals.
18:30 - Woo, look at old Boom how we're rolling
18:36 and dodging and such.
18:38 (alarm)
18:40 - Hey, Hank, something pick up that dang old rock.
18:42 - I tell ya, I haven't had this much fun
18:45 since our last football road trip.
18:48 Remember?
18:49 When we went to state, even old Peg was there.
18:53 Remember?
18:53 - Yeah, I remember.
18:55 - Cheering her heart out when we were down 28 to nothing.
19:00 - Hmm.
19:06 Man, this dang old piece of crap dang old blocked up.
19:09 Get that grass out there.
19:11 (alarm)
19:12 (screams)
19:13 I ain't got no fingers!
19:15 - I'm sorry, Peggy.
19:17 We have to start the finals.
19:18 - Okay, as soon as I find my husband.
19:21 I mean, coach.
19:22 He's probably just refilling my rosin bag.
19:25 - Oh, don't kid yourself.
19:26 He's probably just too embarrassed
19:28 to watch me beat you again, sissy cop.
19:31 - That's right, Patches.
19:34 Looks like it's you and me in the finals.
19:38 (laughs)
19:40 - Ike.
19:42 - Hello and welcome to the Texas State Boggle Championships.
19:46 We're coming to you live
19:47 on the Dallas Grand Plaza Hospitality Channel.
19:50 I'm Brent Steele and with me is Boggle Grandmaster,
19:53 Alexei Golgarin.
19:55 - Thanks, Brent.
19:56 This should be a great final match.
19:58 Two great bogglers, only one will be winner.
20:00 - All right, it's going to be best of three.
20:02 I want a clean game.
20:04 No foreign words, no foreign objects.
20:06 Shake.
20:07 - Ike.
20:14 - Sissy Cobb is off to an excellent start in round one.
20:17 - Peggy Hill hesitated.
20:19 That's going to cost her at least a four-letter word.
20:23 - Ooh, there goes Peggy Hill's pencil.
20:25 - With no goat, she's really at a disadvantage.
20:29 - Incredible.
20:33 What a scrapper.
20:35 What a save.
20:37 - The players will now read their word lists
20:41 starting with Peggy Hill.
20:43 - Sad.
20:45 Abandon.
20:47 Abandons.
20:48 Bad.
20:50 Man.
20:50 - Man.
20:51 - We're in the final round of this championship match
21:00 and Peggy Hill is far behind.
21:02 - Peggy.
21:03 - Peggy Hill is down to her last pencil.
21:08 She has no more pencils in reserve.
21:11 Everything rides on this pencil.
21:14 - Ah, this is awful.
21:18 I think it's all over for Peggy Hill.
21:21 - Ike, where the hell have you been?
21:30 - It doesn't matter where I've been.
21:32 I figured out where I should be.
21:35 Now, let's show 'em how we play boggle in Arlen.
21:38 - Whatever you say, coach.
21:40 - Oh yeah.
21:45 (dramatic music)
22:12 - Peggy Hill was riding up a storm, but will it be enough?
22:16 - Caviar.
22:18 Chinchilla.
22:20 Harpsichord.
22:21 - With confidence, she wrote harpsichord,
22:28 but not harp and not chord.
22:32 Oh, a very bold gambit.
22:34 - Fish.
22:38 Fishes.
22:39 Slaw.
22:41 - Peggy Hill is using the opposite strategy,
22:43 a long list of short words to narrow the gap.
22:46 - Turn.
22:47 Turns.
22:48 Apron.
22:50 Aprons.
22:50 - She needs 10 more points,
22:52 and she only has one word remaining.
22:54 - Ain't.
22:58 (laughing)
23:00 Ain't is not a word.
23:02 I win.
23:03 (gasping)
23:05 - It ain't.
23:06 Ain't sissycob.
23:07 The word is acquaintanship.
23:10 As in, it was not my pleasure to make your acquaintanceship.
23:14 I win.
23:15 (cheering)
23:18 - What an incredible upset.
23:19 Peggy Hill is the new Texas State Buggle Champion.
23:22 Now back to a description of the hotel fire safety procedures
23:25 with your host, Chuck Mangione.
23:26 - You did it, Peggy, you did it.
23:28 Just like you said, you're in the winner's circle.
23:31 - And you are right beside me, Hank.
23:33 (crying)
23:35 - Loser, you're a loser.
23:37 How you feeling, sorry for yourself?
23:38 What are you, choking?
23:40 - You know, there's something Coach said he would do
23:42 if we ever won the big game.
23:44 - Oh yeah?
23:46 What's that?
23:47 (sad music)
23:51 - Let's go, let's go, let's go!
24:03 My parents are gonna be home any minute!
24:06 - What the hell is going on here?
24:10 (engine revving)
24:12 - This party is officially over.
24:17 You kids get out of here before I call your parents.
24:21 - I don't know how you two could be so irresponsible.
24:25 You are both grounded.
24:26 - What were you thinking?
24:29 You've got school tomorrow.
24:31 (door slams)
24:33 [BLANK_AUDIO]