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00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 (upbeat music)
00:05 (bell ringing)
00:23 (upbeat music)
00:26 (upbeat music)
00:39 (upbeat music)
00:42 - I'm Buck Strickland and if you don't recognize me,
00:59 you're at the wrong event.
01:01 Now, the assistant managers
01:03 of the five Strickland propane branches
01:05 will now welcome you all to our annual winter picnic.
01:10 We have gathered here to celebrate propane,
01:14 God's gas, and who could ignite the celebration
01:17 better than our senior assistant manager, Mr. Hank Hill?
01:21 Hank, could you do the honors?
01:23 - I'd be honored.
01:25 - Hurry up, Hank.
01:30 Turn winter into summer.
01:33 (upbeat music)
01:35 (cheering)
01:39 - Wow, Mr. Strickland.
01:47 It's like you always find the exact right moment
01:50 to flip those burgers.
01:51 And I think you'll also find
01:53 that now is the exact right moment
01:54 for my total quality management proposal.
01:57 - Oh, for God's sake.
01:59 - Hey, Vickers, who do you like for the Super Bowl next year?
02:02 The doopy loopies or the shimmy shammies?
02:05 (laughing)
02:07 - Okay, okay, very funny.
02:11 But I like the bills.
02:12 (laughing)
02:14 (gasping)
02:21 - Look, Mom, ash.
02:24 There must be a volcano somewhere.
02:26 (upbeat music)
02:28 - It's snowing.
02:29 - It's snowing.
02:31 - Okay, I have been through this before in Montana.
02:37 Now, nobody lick any flagpoles.
02:39 - Snow?
02:41 Texans aren't prepared for this kind of nightmare, sir.
02:45 We gotta work fast.
02:47 I'll unlock the gas reserves while you rally the troops.
02:50 - All right, choke it down, people.
02:52 This is a propane emergency, no time for chewing.
02:55 If we don't get heat to the people,
02:57 you can bet the electric company will.
03:00 (tires screeching)
03:03 - Joe Jack, fire up the bobtail truck.
03:12 - Don't be a hero, hon.
03:14 - It's too late.
03:16 - Can I come too, Dad?
03:19 - You bet, son.
03:21 If you can catch a bobtail on the fly,
03:23 you're welcome at Strickland Propane.
03:25 Come on.
03:26 (Joe Jack grunting)
03:29 - Slow down, Joe Jack.
03:30 Slow way down.
03:34 Slower.
03:35 Just stop the truck.
03:37 (truck beeping)
03:40 (Joe Jack grunting)
03:45 - Whee!
03:46 It's a winter wonderland!
03:49 Whee!
03:51 I tell you what, man, if you don't go down to Antarctica,
03:54 you ain't gonna get that damn thing to work
03:56 with the big old bottom line he got.
03:59 Whee!
04:01 - No, ma'am, propane will not freeze.
04:05 Good news, Buck.
04:06 We can get propane to the nursing homes
04:09 by diverting it away from the Museum of Modern Art.
04:13 If anyone asks, it was a tough choice.
04:16 (laughing)
04:18 - That's why your dad's one of the greats.
04:21 Just watch and learn, son.
04:23 Maybe someday you'll be sitting in that seat.
04:26 - Then where would he sit?
04:28 - The way things are going, he'll be in the boss's chair.
04:31 - Oh, no, sir.
04:33 I'll just keep the chair I have
04:35 and wheel it over to your desk when the time comes.
04:38 - Whoo!
04:39 I'm beat.
04:40 I think I'm gonna call it a day.
04:42 Just gotta finish up my paperwork.
04:44 There, finished.
04:46 - Hey, Dad, how come I never got a Strickland calendar?
04:52 - Uh, that's not for you, Bobby.
04:55 You're not old enough.
04:57 - Well, hello, Miss November.
05:00 Be careful, that's flammable.
05:02 (laughing)
05:04 - Uh, Bobby, why don't you go on outside
05:07 and make snow angels?
05:09 - Okay.
05:10 - Ooh, hey, speaking of angels,
05:14 look at the wings on this piece of chicken, would you?
05:17 Would you?
05:18 (laughing)
05:19 Woo-hoo-hoo!
05:20 - She certainly is attractive, sir,
05:22 but I'm not sure that's an appropriate way
05:24 to be talking about our cleaning lady.
05:27 (snow crunching)
05:30 (snow crunching)
05:32 (laughing)
05:33 - Merry Christmas!
05:35 I see your stockings are sure hung with gear.
05:38 (laughing)
05:40 Ooh, oh!
05:41 - Uh, Buck?
05:42 - God dang it, I'm having an infarction.
05:45 - What?
05:46 - Jesus!
05:46 - No!
05:47 Oh, my God!
05:49 I'll call an ambulance.
05:50 - Let's get to the hospital!
05:53 - Hang on, Buck.
05:54 We've still got a lot of propane to sell together.
05:57 Hello?
05:58 Emergency room, please.
06:00 (crashing)
06:02 - Dang it, no!
06:03 (screaming)
06:07 - Mr. Strickland, you gotta use both arms, like me.
06:12 (screaming)
06:15 (screaming)
06:17 - What do you think?
06:21 If I show up at the hospital with a tie on,
06:24 it's kinda ghoulish.
06:26 It's like saying, "Why aren't you dead yet?"
06:29 On the other hand, we are in a crisis,
06:31 and I will have to give orders.
06:34 - See, you are already thinking like a man in charge.
06:38 Oh, this is so exciting.
06:40 Save the tie for the funeral.
06:43 (upbeat music)
06:45 - All right, everybody listen up.
06:52 Strickland is a family.
06:54 I'm like the daddy, and the daddy ain't feeling so good.
06:58 So it's up to you kids to become leaders.
07:00 Make sure daddy's business don't get run into the ground.
07:03 You work for me?
07:05 - Yes, sir, Mr. Strickland.
07:07 - I'm your daddy.
07:08 Now, all five of you kids are gonna have to pitch in,
07:11 take on some added responsibility.
07:14 Could you ladies step outside for a minute, please?
07:17 I got a shot coming, and it's just rude, you know,
07:20 to make two such pretty gals stare at my bare backside.
07:24 (laughing)
07:26 All right, now that the skirts are out in the hallway,
07:29 we can get down to business.
07:31 One of you has to run the company.
07:34 Hank, you're my right-hand man.
07:36 I need you to feed my hands.
07:40 Promise me you'll take care of my hands, Hank.
07:43 - I'll take care of 'em, sure.
07:45 - Damn it, you will love 'em, Hank.
07:49 - I'll, I'll, all right, I'll do so.
07:53 - Beckers, you run the company.
07:56 Oh, shebang, let's see what that fancy business degree
07:59 of yours is worth.
08:00 - You betcha.
08:01 - You're putting him in charge?
08:03 Mr. Strickland, I've been with the company 15 years.
08:07 - Hank, I let you light the grill.
08:09 Right now, my hounds are starving.
08:11 (gentle music)
08:15 - I bought enough canned food to last us through this storm
08:26 and the civil unrest that will inevitably follow.
08:29 Hope you like water chestnuts.
08:36 - Uh, hey, neighbor, I brought you something.
08:40 - Water chestnuts, oh, thank you.
08:43 - As a matter of fact, there is something
08:45 you can give me in return.
08:47 I only have a three-week supply of propane,
08:50 but you'll get Hank to hook me up.
08:53 You owe me.
08:54 - Well, I'm sorry, Dale.
08:56 Hank may be in charge now, but you are not gonna get
08:59 any special treatment.
09:00 Hank's priorities are propane first, family second,
09:04 friends third, in that order.
09:06 - Fine, I'll just have to barter for it.
09:09 Bill, you like pumpkin pie filling?
09:16 (engine revving)
09:20 (tires screeching)
09:23 - Hank!
09:36 What's going on, Hank?
09:43 - Strickland picked Lloyd Vickers as interim manager.
09:49 - What? That suck-up's not even fit
09:51 to feed Strickland's dogs.
09:54 - Uh, actually, that's my department now.
09:58 - Oh, well, I'm sure it has its own set of challenges.
10:03 - Does anyone know what this means?
10:10 - You're gonna be doing drug testing?
10:12 - You're thinking of PCP, and yes, we are.
10:15 PDP, peak demand pricing.
10:18 This weather has created a propane shortage,
10:21 therefore market forces dictate that we raise our prices.
10:25 In business school, that's called supply and demand.
10:29 - Yeah, well, in the real world,
10:30 that's called sticking it to people when they need us most.
10:34 - Hank, can we dialogue for a second?
10:37 I know this must be difficult for you,
10:39 so I'm working out some flex time
10:41 so you can feed Mr. Strickland's dogs and clean their mess.
10:45 - Look, let me tell you something
10:47 you can only learn from experience.
10:49 You gotta treat people with respect.
10:52 You know who taught me that? Buck Strickland.
10:55 He has the nerve to give me flex time.
11:05 That's what they give pregnant women and other disableds.
11:08 - Well, I don't know, Hank,
11:09 sounds like he's just trying to empower you.
11:12 See, that's the fifth building block
11:14 of total quality management.
11:16 - Mm-hmm, yep.
11:17 - Well, you won't be so quick to defend this guy
11:20 when he raises propane prices 10 cents a gallon.
11:23 - 10 cents a what? - 10 cents a gallon?
11:25 What are you talking about? - What about my dang old hot tub?
11:27 - That's insane.
11:28 - Well, I'll tell you what,
11:29 when Strickland gets back from the hospital
11:31 and finds out about this,
11:33 he's gonna have another heart attack.
11:35 - Someone's gotta teach that Vickers a lesson.
11:38 If you want, I can show you how to make a bomb
11:41 out of a roll of toilet paper and a stick of dynamite.
11:46 (door opens)
11:47 - Why didn't Buck Strickland pick you to be boss, Dad?
11:51 - Well, sometimes in life,
11:54 curveball and such.
11:59 That's your ride, boy.
12:04 Hey, Joe Jack, can you give my boy a lift home?
12:10 - Sorry, Hank, damn Vickers put Tatlers in the trucks now.
12:14 - What? You can't do that.
12:16 - What's a Tatler?
12:18 - It's a meter that tells a boss
12:20 when the driver stops and for how long.
12:23 It's designed to prevent goof-offs,
12:25 lunch breaks, unscheduled stops,
12:28 all the things a driver's union fought so hard for.
12:32 (dog barking)
12:35 - Meow, look at me, I'm a kitty.
12:37 Meow.
12:38 Meow, meow, who's talking?
12:41 Look at me, I'm a kitty.
12:43 Meow.
12:44 Meow.
12:45 Meow.
12:46 Meow, meow.
12:47 Good dog, look at me.
12:49 I've got whiskers, I'm a kitty cat.
12:52 Run, honey, they're seeing you.
12:53 (dog barking)
12:56 (Joe grunts)
12:58 - This is ridiculous.
13:05 There's a snow crisis going on
13:07 and I'm sitting here scrubbing off dog slobber.
13:10 - Do not blame yourself.
13:12 Strickland is the fool who passed you over.
13:16 - Well, no one bats a thousand.
13:18 Strickland's a good man.
13:20 He's the only other guy at the firm
13:22 who has the same passion for propane that I do.
13:25 - Oh my Lord.
13:29 - What?
13:29 - The stove, it's not propane, it's electric.
13:34 - No.
13:35 - Yes.
13:36 - Well, it better be self-cleaning
13:39 because I think I'm gonna vomit.
13:42 (TV playing in background)
13:45 - How could you, sir?
13:46 How could you buy an electric stove
13:49 after everything propane has given you?
13:52 - Dang it, Hank, we're both men of the world.
13:55 I got a whole bunch of electric appliances.
13:58 They came with the house.
14:00 - But Mr. Strickland, you've always said
14:02 that propane is God's gas.
14:05 It's a higher calling.
14:06 - Oh, hell, Hank, it's just a business.
14:09 It's about making as much money as you can while you can.
14:13 That's why I let Vickers put in them tatlers.
14:16 - What?
14:17 You knew about that?
14:18 - Well, sure, I've been using tatlers off and on for years.
14:22 Hell, back in the old days, we used midgets,
14:25 stuck 'em behind the seats with a bucket of ice
14:26 to keep 'em cold.
14:28 I still hope she came in
14:29 and put them poor little people on the street.
14:32 That's what they like to be called, Hank, little people.
14:35 - The 15 years I've worked with you
14:37 have been the happiest years of my life.
14:40 Now I find out it was all a lie.
14:43 I never thought I would say this,
14:46 but Mr. Strickland, I'm not coming into work tomorrow.
14:51 - You mean you quit or you taking a personal day?
14:55 - You heard me.
15:05 - I just need a couple days up at the lake
15:08 to figure out what I was meant to do in this life.
15:11 I've been taking a good hard look at the propane business
15:14 and it's sort of like seeing a woman with her makeup off.
15:19 - Sharon Johnson came to beauty school
15:21 once with her makeup off and nobody told her.
15:24 (sobs)
15:27 That was mean.
15:28 - Dad, I got the stove.
15:31 Where's the propane thingy that goes into it?
15:35 - Put it back, son.
15:36 There's no room for propane on this trip.
15:40 - Now listen to me, Joe Jack.
15:46 We're just two steps from win-win.
15:48 Step one, you put the Tattler boxes back in the trucks.
15:52 Step two, you keep your jobs.
15:54 - Oh, I got a third step for you, honey.
15:57 We quit.
15:58 - Yeah, let the Tattler guys--
15:59 - Fine, quit.
16:01 I've got a whole alumni newsletter
16:03 full of friends I can call on.
16:05 They'll drive those trucks just for the life experience.
16:08 (laughs)
16:10 - And I guess your friends are hazmat certified too.
16:13 - Hazmat?
16:15 - Hazardous material, Beckers, you moron.
16:20 You need a special license to drive a propane truck.
16:23 - It's all right, sir.
16:24 I can get to yes.
16:25 I'll hire a new batch of drivers right away.
16:28 - Don't listen to me, god dang it.
16:30 It's the god dang time of the season.
16:33 There's no drivers from here to god dang city.
16:38 They're fired!
16:39 - There you go, sir.
16:42 (upbeat music)
16:46 - I told you we should've stopped at the Megalo Mart.
16:54 They don't even have a separate candy department here.
16:57 Bobby Hill, we are at a remote cabin out in the wilderness.
17:00 We will make our own candy.
17:02 (upbeat music)
17:08 Hank, what are you doing?
17:13 Put it down.
17:14 Now someone might see.
17:15 - Come on, Peggy.
17:17 Haven't you ever wondered what it's like
17:19 to barbecue with charcoal?
17:21 - You mean without propane?
17:23 But I don't think that...
17:26 Well, well yeah, I guess I am curious.
17:30 - This is the Hill residence.
17:31 Please leave a message at the beep.
17:33 - Hank, it's your old buddy Bucks Vickin.
17:37 That Vickers mucked things up worse
17:39 than Jack Kennedy at Piggy Bay.
17:41 So I got no drivers.
17:43 I got no right hand man.
17:44 I need you, old top.
17:46 I need you bad.
17:54 - Comes to 2124.
17:57 - Darn, I only got a 20.
18:01 I'll just run out to the car.
18:03 - 20 is close enough.
18:05 We don't care about a buck here or there.
18:07 People before pennies hours, see?
18:09 - Well, thank you, friend.
18:12 You're good people.
18:13 - We don't care about a buck here or there.
18:17 Now I know why they call you Pa,
18:20 'cause you're Pa-phatic.
18:22 And I know why they call you Ma,
18:24 'cause you're always rotting my ass.
18:26 - Hank, it's Rudy over at Goober Smooch's Restaurant.
18:32 I got no propane for my stove.
18:34 I'm looking at 20 pounds of rotten ribeye.
18:37 (gentle music)
18:40 - I saved your life, Dad.
19:00 - Huh?
19:01 - I saved your life.
19:03 I was gonna push you in and then I saved your life.
19:07 - You were gonna push me in?
19:09 - It was a joke.
19:10 (Hank screams)
19:14 - I said, do not disturb him.
19:17 - Oh.
19:18 (gentle music)
19:22 - We don't care about a buck here or there.
19:36 People before pennies.
19:39 - People, of course, people.
19:42 Peggy, Peggy!
19:44 - What, what is it?
19:46 - Pack up the car, I figured it all out.
19:48 It's not about tattle or boxes or who's in charge.
19:52 It's about service with a smile and making people happy.
19:55 - Oh, I knew it, you are going back to Strickland.
19:58 - Hell no, I'm gonna open up a general store.
20:02 - Eskoochamay?
20:04 - You see, everything I thought I'd find in propane,
20:07 it isn't there.
20:08 It's in the general store
20:09 where they put people before pennies.
20:12 A fella's got no money, he can't pay his bill.
20:15 Well, that's good enough for us.
20:17 And then that fella will tell another fella
20:19 and before you know it,
20:20 I'll have customers lined up around the block.
20:23 Bobby, Bobby, get out here, boy.
20:26 I'm leaving the propane business
20:28 and opening up a general store.
20:31 - Okay.
20:33 - I can't do it alone, Peggy.
20:35 General stores are ma and pa.
20:38 If you're not there, people are gonna make assumptions
20:41 like did pa kill ma?
20:44 They aren't gonna wanna buy batteries from me
20:46 if they think you're back in the freezer
20:48 hanging from a meat hook.
20:50 Am I wrong?
20:51 - I don't know, I don't know.
20:53 People do need batteries,
20:54 but this is just all happening so fast.
20:57 - Will you think about it, ma?
21:00 (engine revving)
21:03 - We could have a section for books, children's books,
21:07 and we wouldn't even have to charge for them
21:08 as long as the kids brought them back.
21:10 - That's a great idea, Peggy.
21:13 Kids are people.
21:14 You see, you've come up with a whole new customer base
21:17 for our store.
21:18 - Oh, well, oh, what the age?
21:22 You know what?
21:23 I'll do it.
21:23 I'm gonna go type my letter of resignation
21:27 to the Arlen School Board right now.
21:30 I guess I better write my letter too.
21:33 It is with regret.
21:41 (gentle music)
21:45 - Hank, it's down my throat, Martin.
21:48 My hands froze to my walker
21:50 and I had to thaw them in the microwave.
21:52 I need my propane.
21:53 - It is with deep regret.
21:59 (phone ringing)
22:00 - Mr. Hill, it's Hugh Jimerson.
22:03 My heat's gone out.
22:04 I've tried wearing turtlenecks,
22:05 but they make me look French.
22:07 Where are your trucks?
22:09 - It is with very deep regret.
22:14 - Mr. Hill, it's Steve Anderson.
22:19 All three kids got the group
22:21 and I'm clear out of propane.
22:23 It's cold.
22:25 It's real cold.
22:26 (gentle music)
22:29 - All finished, Hank.
22:31 Okay, here it is.
22:34 One resignation letter signed and self-notarized.
22:38 Hank?
22:40 - Peggy, went back to work.
22:46 Love, Hank Hill.
22:48 (Hank mumbling)
22:54 - Oh, is that you, Hank?
22:56 You come back to dance on my grave?
22:59 - No, sir, I don't feel much like dancing.
23:02 There's a town in crisis out there
23:04 and they need propane.
23:06 - It ain't gonna happen, Hank.
23:07 Vickers screwed everything up.
23:09 All our drivers quit.
23:11 - A real propane man doesn't know the word quit.
23:15 - Well, I don't know how they said it,
23:18 but them drivers ain't working here no more.
23:21 And you and me can't drive them propane trucks
23:23 because we don't have hazmat licenses.
23:27 It's all over.
23:28 - No, it ain't.
23:29 (gentle music)
23:33 You don't need any hazmat license to drive a tow truck.
23:43 (gentle music)
23:46 (truck horn honking)
23:49 (Hank screaming)
23:57 - Saved your life, Dad.
24:05 - Saved my life.
24:09 Now I get it.
24:11 (Hank sighing)
24:15 (gentle music)
24:17 (upbeat music)
24:22 (upbeat music)
24:25 (upbeat music)
24:53 Look at me, I'm a kitty.