Category
😹
AmusantTranscription
00:00 centuries. With the power of the crystals, Earth will fall like a ripe melon. Queen Vexus
00:06 herself will declare me a hero. No more Uggie Buggie Smitus, or Smitey Pants Fat Bottom.
00:12 I will be Smitus, Destroyer of Worlds!
00:16 [evil laughter]
00:21 [growl]
00:24 You laugh too.
00:26 [crying]
00:29 Like you mean it?
00:31 [laughter]
00:33 That's it.
00:35 [laughter]
00:38 [scream]
00:40 [laughter]
00:45 [laughter]
00:49 [growl]
00:52 [laughter]
00:57 [growl]
00:59 [crash]
01:01 [music]
01:04 [beeping]
01:07 It appears we have a Cluster Starship in the neighborhood.
01:11 And it looks like they're chasing something.
01:14 Hmm, spheroid object, crystalline composition, energy signature unknown.
01:19 Well, whatever it is, if the Cluster wants it, it must be dangerous.
01:23 You'd better--
01:25 [music]
01:32 Hmm? Ah-ha! SG-9, we meet at last.
01:36 Come to claim the Pip Crystals for yourself, huh?
01:38 Pip Crystals? The most dangerous artifacts in the universe.
01:42 You can forget--
01:44 [music]
01:49 Now, to find those crystals.
01:53 Oh, no, no, no! These designs are all wrong!
01:57 None of these will do for our junior prom.
01:59 Our gowns must not only dazzle,
02:02 they must also shame and humiliate that tin-plated bumpkin, XG-9.
02:08 Is this the best you can do, Jean-Philippe?
02:10 But my dears, I have given you my entire spring collection,
02:14 would you reject as garbage?
02:16 You even poo-pooed Mr. Biscuit's best efforts.
02:19 Hmm.
02:21 Well, you better find some inspiration and fast,
02:24 or we're going to take our business elsewhere.
02:26 But where do I find this inspiration, my darlings?
02:29 From the air? From the clouds? The sky? Where?
02:32 [music]
02:34 [crash]
02:36 [music]
02:41 Ooh! Pretty! Shiny! Glossy!
02:46 Girls, brace yourselves! This season, everything will be dressed in crystals!
02:52 [laughing]
02:55 Jean-Philippe International, please hold. Jean-Philippe International, please hold.
02:58 Jean-Philippe International, please hold. Jean-Philippe--
03:00 [thud]
03:02 [crash]
03:03 Bow to me, mortal, and tremble in fear,
03:06 before you stand smitest, Lord of the Outer Rings,
03:09 Mayor of Moonrovia, Capo of the Crime Nebula,
03:13 and Destroyer of Worlds!
03:15 [crash]
03:17 I have come to confront your master,
03:19 the one they call Jean-Philippe.
03:22 Wow. Where to begin? Where to begin?
03:26 First of all, fatty, I'm not bowing to anyone.
03:28 Second, unless you're here for a supermodel audition,
03:30 you're not seeing anyone's master. And third, shoo.
03:33 Jean-Philippe International.
03:34 Oh! Oh, hi, Mary! Go on now, shoo!
03:37 [music]
03:40 [burp]
03:41 Shoo!
03:42 [music]
03:43 What's up, girlfriend?
03:44 Alan said what?
03:45 [gasp]
03:46 You have got to be kidding--
03:47 Ugh. I gotta go.
03:49 Allo. I am Smite Lana, supermodel extraordinaire,
03:53 swimsuit color girl, runway diva, and Destroyer of Worlds!
03:59 [crash]
04:00 I am from Ukrainia.
04:02 A Ukrainian supermodel? How exotic! Go right in.
04:06 Danke.
04:07 Supermodel Smite Lana, this is Jean-Philippe.
04:09 [gasp]
04:11 Krystos! Jean-Philippe, I have come--
04:14 No talking! There is no talking in fashion!
04:16 Walking! That is what we want to see.
04:19 Walk? Like this?
04:21 [music]
04:23 Mm-hmm. Now turn. Good. And turn. And turn.
04:27 Now pout. Now smear. Pout. Smear. And sticker pose!
04:33 Mm-hmm. Very nice. What do you think, ladies?
04:37 She looks strong. I like her.
04:39 As do I. She's tall and exotic.
04:41 You mean you think I'm beautiful?
04:44 [music]
04:46 [music]
04:49 [roar]
04:51 What do you reckon it is, Ma?
04:53 Well, it's one of them UFOs, Pa.
04:55 Let's crack it open and see if it has one of them super-power orphan babies inside.
05:00 [burp]
05:01 I always wanted one of them!
05:03 Uh, what happened?
05:05 That's no UFO. That's one of them extraterrestrials.
05:09 Oh!
05:10 Oh, my gosh! The crystals!
05:12 Let's get your measurements. Just slip this under your wing.
05:16 Stay away from him, you fin trait!
05:18 This is no glamorous fashion model.
05:20 He's a dangerous cluster criminal!
05:23 And he's only interested in stealing those crystals!
05:26 Oh, right. The crystals.
05:29 Foolish XJ9. Soon the crystals will be mine again!
05:32 Dream on! After I send you back to Cluster in pieces,
05:36 I'll bury those crystals where no one will ever find them again!
05:39 Silence! Neither of you is taking our new dresses!
05:43 Brit! Tiff! Get away from the crystals!
05:45 Give them to me! I'll protect you from their power!
05:48 Protect us? Don't make me laugh!
05:51 Chopley! You just want to make your own crystal prom dress.
05:54 Well, that ain't happening, loser!
05:57 Loooooser!
06:01 Oh, hello!
06:04 Very impressive. But Smitus is no teenager.
06:08 Smitus is a soldier! A warrior! A Cluster champion!
06:13 Please! You're nothing but an insect!
06:16 Not even an insect! A worm! A scurvy little worm!
06:21 I am a warrior!
06:26 I am a destroyer!
06:29 I am a destroyer of worlds!
06:34 Ladies, please! Please stop, I beg of you!
06:37 You are destroying my studio, scaring away my Ukrainian supermodel,
06:41 and you have terrified poor Mr. Biscuit!
06:45 I must ask you to leave, and on your way out, return my crystal gowns!
06:50 Your gowns? These designs were our idea. Without us, you are nothing!
06:54 Your designs are duplicative, your stitches are shoddy, and you're probably... colorblind!
07:01 I am clashing!
07:07 Now we stand unopposed. We can do whatever we want!
07:12 We go totally rule! We go rule Junior Prom!
07:19 I guess that's fine as far as it goes, but why stop with prom queens,
07:24 when we can be queens of Tremetum!
07:27 We can remake this hick town! Nothing but restaurants and shopping!
07:31 No more dentist office! No more library! No more baseball game!
07:37 And speaking of diamonds, I think it's high time the good people of Tremetum
07:42 did something useful with their lives, like toiling in the diamond mines!
07:47 But what in rags do you think?
07:49 Turkey, I think perhaps evening wear would be nice.
07:53 Everyone will be sleeved to fashion!
07:56 But the first thing we should do is turn that robo-twit into a sewing machine!
08:01 Snap out of it! Crystals are clouding your mind!
08:07 Clouding? You need to get out more!
08:10 Looks like a beautiful night to me!
08:13 This is getting out of hand! Give me the crystals before you hurt anything else!
08:17 Don't be ridiculous!
08:19 Why would we give this up?
08:23 Yeah, we like our bags!
08:25 Well if you don't give them up, I'll give them up with you!
08:29 You need to relax, Cher.
08:32 Indeed. Chill out!
08:35 (Machine whirring)
08:38 (Beeping)
09:06 Okay, no more kid stuff!
09:09 Let's see those crystals deal with extreme firepower!
09:13 Be careful, girl!
09:16 These things do have a tendency to backfire!
09:34 Hiding from something?
09:36 What is it, sugar?
09:38 You feeling okay?
09:40 Overwhelmed?
09:42 Dizzy?
09:44 Surrender, surrender!
09:46 Ah!
09:48 Oh dear, she seems quite confused!
09:51 Why don't we lend her a hand?
10:02 That's it! Now, put her down gently!
10:06 Had enough, you cybernetic nerd?
10:20 Are you ready for a lifetime of sewing hemlines?
10:23 Alright, you win! I can't defeat the power of the crystals!
10:27 Not even the crystals can protect you from this!
10:31 No! It got me!
10:33 It's horrible! Oh, that ain't right!
10:36 Come on! We have to get off the streets before it's too late!
10:40 X-J9, are you damaged? Why aren't you pursuing the crystals?
10:47 Don't worry, Mother. I'm positive we'll never see those crystals again!
10:52 [♪♪♪]
10:55 [♪♪♪]
10:59 [♪♪♪]
11:02 [♪♪♪]
11:14 [♪♪♪]
11:17 [♪♪♪]
11:30 [♪♪♪]
11:34 [♪♪♪]
11:37 [♪♪♪]
11:50 [♪♪♪]
11:53 Good morning, Jenny.
12:06 Good morning, Sheldon.
12:08 Allow me, fair maiden.
12:11 Yes, sir! Another glorious week filled with joyous learning!
12:14 And speaking of learning, I've learned of a wonderful social event this weekend.
12:18 They're having a grand opening celebration for the new reptile house at the zoo!
12:22 Everybody who's anybody is going to be there.
12:25 Well, I thought we could just--
12:27 [thunder]
12:29 Sheldon! Are you okay?
12:35 Sheldon?
12:37 Anyway, it's gonna be really fun, and I'd like to take you, you know, like, uh, date?
12:42 [train whistle]
12:44 I don't know if I want to spend all of Saturday with... lizards.
12:48 Thanks anyway. See ya!
12:50 But everybody loves lizards!
12:52 The ancient tribes of Slobovia worshipped lizards as gods.
12:54 Sure, they all got wiped out in volcanic eruptions, but really, that's not the lizard's fault.
12:57 Many lizards eat small rodents, or even big ones.
12:59 Rodents, that is, not lizards. Big lizards. They can eat a whole buffalo!
13:03 Benjamin Franklin once said, "Give me lizardy, or give me death."
13:07 Or maybe that was someone else. Anyway, it's still pretty profound no matter which way you slice it.
13:10 [screaming]
13:13 You know that lizards are cold-blooded? Really, it sounds wacky, I know, but it's true, and--
13:16 Sheldon!
13:18 Look, Sheldon, you're a nice boy, and I like you as a friend.
13:23 So, like a boyfriend?
13:24 She said it! She said "boy" and "friend"! I'm her boyfriend!
13:27 No, Sheldon, just a friend-friend.
13:30 A boyfriend-friend?
13:32 No, just a regular friend-friend.
13:34 Is there someone else? No, anything but that. I simply could not bear it!
13:38 No, it's nothing like that. It's just--
13:41 That's strange, Jenny! How can I make myself dateable to you? How?
13:44 I'm not sure that's possible. I should probably date someone more... like myself.
13:49 You know, a nice robot boy.
13:52 A robot boy?
13:53 Look around you, Jenny. There aren't any.
13:55 If you're holding out for a robot boy, you're gonna have a lot of lonely Saturday nights.
14:00 What I mean is, no robot could love you like I do. Robots are cold and unfeeling.
14:10 Wait! I didn't mean all robots! You're not cold or unfeeling!
14:14 Gee, thanks.
14:16 Oh, I'm so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!
14:20 Help! Help me, please!
14:26 Yeah, yeah, I'm here. What's the deal?
14:31 He's trashing all my decaps!
14:35 No!
14:37 Fear not, good citizens of Chatterford, for I, Silver Shell, shall save you!
14:48 Oh, yeah?
14:50 Oh, yeah!
15:00 Stand aside, little girl. This is a job for a real hero.
15:05 Those servos! That shine! That bumper! What a dream come true!
15:28 Get off me! Get off me! Get off me!
15:31 He's waving at me!
15:36 That busybody bull is in the way!
15:38 A blast of hot, a blast of cold!
15:41 Voila!
15:43 Another glorious victory for the Silver Shell!
15:57 Yeah!
15:59 Wow! You handled that mechanical bull like a real urban cowboy!
16:03 Gee, thanks. Now, hold on, missy.
16:05 A hero of my caliber has no time to dip down with the likes of you.
16:10 Asselt!
16:12 I'll never polish again.
16:18 Ah, Jenny! Judging by your blissful demeanor, I'm guessing you've decided to attend the Reptile House opening after all.
16:25 Now, you should get there early, 'cause there's bound to be a line. Lizards are hot right now.
16:30 Jenny? Are you okay?
16:33 I'm more than okay. I've never been happier. I've met the robot of my dreams! The Silver Shell!
16:41 What? Like him? But he's a total jerk!
16:44 How would you know? Have you met him? What's he like? Did he mention me? What did he say? Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!
16:51 No, I haven't met him, but I heard he's a real jerk.
16:55 Anyway, don't you feel threatened? Another superhero could really steal your thunder!
16:59 He's stolen more than my thunder. He's stolen my heart.
17:03 Sure, he's a little rough around the edges, but it's nothing that couldn't be buffed out by the right robot.
17:18 It's him!
17:20 Wow, he's so commanding. Hi, Silver Shell. It's me, Jenny. I don't know if you remember, but we met yesterday.
17:34 So, what kind of music do you like? What's your favorite movie?
17:45 Didn't anyone ever teach you that it's impolite to interrupt?
17:49 That's all right, little lady. I'll take it from here.
17:53 So, have you heard about the grand opening gala for the new Reptile House at the zoo?
18:00 Did you say Reptile House?
18:02 Uh-huh. It's going to be really fun. I thought maybe we could go together? You know, like a date?
18:08 Oh, gee. I don't know if I want to spend all of Saturday with lizards.
18:13 I got us tickets already. Here's yours. I'll meet you there at two o'clock sharp, okay? See you Saturday!
18:19 I wonder where he is.
18:31 Oh, hello, Sheldon.
18:36 Jenny, come inside. You're missing all the fun.
18:39 I'm waiting for the silver shell. We have a date.
18:43 Um, Jenny, I'm pretty sure he's not going to show up. He's not really a social type.
18:48 The only thing he's interested in is crime fighting.
18:51 Hey, that gives me an idea.
18:54 These creatures are simply ghastly, but the hors d'oeuvres are positively divine.
19:07 (SCREAMING)
19:10 I say, old bean, that woman had a Belgian gardener's snake wrapped around her digits.
19:15 Nonsense. That was a Cambodian river serpent, old chap.
19:18 I say, old chap, you seem to have a Burmese frog toad perched upon your scalp.
19:23 And you have a Tibetan trilling lizard on your dome, old bean.
19:26 Peep-a-peep-a-peep-a! Remain calm! These reptiles are harmless!
19:35 At least a few harmless reptiles. Cause a little innocent mayhem.
19:39 Silver shell shows up, saves the day, and we fly off into the sunset together.
19:44 Although, if he hasn't shown up yet, maybe we need a little bigger mayhem.
19:49 Come on, grass, join the party!
19:53 Come on, come on! Let's get you guys back in your tanks.
19:58 It was terrifying. I never want to see another reptile as long as I live.
20:04 Hey, lady! See? I told you they're harmless.
20:07 (SCREAMING)
20:09 That one, however, is deadly.
20:15 Jenny, a little help would be most appreciated.
20:22 No, no. My intervention is unnecessary.
20:25 My silver-wilver Shelly-welly will come.
20:28 Are you sure about that?
20:30 Any minute now, he's gonna burst through those doors and save the day.
20:34 Well, whatever. Who thinks is best?
20:38 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
20:41 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
21:09 Okay, Mr. Grumpy, playtime's over.
21:12 Jenny, no! He's a protected species!
21:15 Of course he is.
21:17 See? I made a poodle.
21:35 The other snakes were never gonna let me live this down.
21:38 (ALL CHEERING)
21:40 (SIGHS)
21:50 I can't believe he didn't show.
21:52 I told you he was a jerk. Now you can forget him and move on.
21:55 I'll never forget him. I'll love that robot forever.
21:59 How can you love him? You don't even know him.
22:02 For all you know, he's not even a robot.
22:05 Don't say that! It would break my heart!