Réalisé par Franklin J. Schaffner d'après un roman écrit par Mark Twain avec Thomas Mitchell et Boris Karloff dans le rôle d'un vieillissant roi Arthur.
Épisode 34 de la 4e saison de la série 'Studio One' diffusé en direct (d'où d'occasionnels flottements dans le débits des répliques.)
Épisode 34 de la 4e saison de la série 'Studio One' diffusé en direct (d'où d'occasionnels flottements dans le débits des répliques.)
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TVTranscription
00:00 [Music]
00:29 [Music]
00:42 Warwick Castle, ladies and gentlemen, as painted by Gainsborough in 1747 and acquired by the
00:52 36th Earl of Warwick in 1821. Where we're standing now, ladies and gentlemen, is the main hall of
01:02 the castle. This here is Thomas de Newburgh, born round about 1213, died 1297, 6th Earl of Warwick.
01:15 Hey, you're an American I see. That's right, Hartford, Connecticut.
01:20 Have you ever heard of it? Ah, born and raised in Hartford, know it well.
01:26 Oh, it's a long, long time since I last saw it. That was in 1889.
01:31 Come now, sir, 1889 was but a few short years ago.
01:35 Ah, sir, but my journey was not in a straight line, either in geography or time.
01:40 Pardon me, what was that again?
01:42 You've heard of the transmigration of soul. Have you ever heard of the transposition of
01:49 a man's body in time and place?
01:51 I'm afraid I didn't quite catch that. Mind repeating it?
01:55 This here is an ancient suit of armour, date of the 6th century, time of King Arthur and Camelot.
02:03 Now, ears of puzzler and no mistake, please be so good as to observe this 32-cannibal bullet hole.
02:13 Now I ask you, who ever put a bullet hole in this here piece of armour
02:18 back there in the days of the crossbow and King Arthur?
02:21 Which you will, I saw it done. Did you indeed?
02:25 You what? As a matter of fact, I did it myself.
02:29 Now, if you will follow me, please, we'll have a walk through the main banquet in all itself,
02:34 famous for its eye-sealing, its hinged-leg floor, and the hook-hangers on the wall.
02:39 I said, sir, I am an American, born and bred in Hartford, Connecticut, the nutmeg state,
02:46 a Yankee of the Yankees. Worked in the factory there, the arms factory, you know of it, don't
02:52 you? Yes. Well, I suppose I knew all there was to know about guns and engines and boilers and
02:59 all kinds of machinery. Why, I could make anything in the world a body wanted, and
03:03 if something was wanted that hadn't been made yet, I could invent that too.
03:08 I'd win the World's Almanac from cover to cover. Lucky thing for me I did, because I kept a copy
03:15 by me in case some argument came up, and there was a lot of arguments too. Oh yes, believe me.
03:20 Go and you see, I was head superintendent of the place with a couple of thousand men under me,
03:25 and in a position like that, trouble comes easily. Well, sir, one day I...
03:31 [Music]
03:40 My fault, is it? Come on up close to me and say that, Hank Morgan. Close enough, pickety-face.
03:48 Those pistols came off your bench, and effected your plight. Is that so, huh? Look out!
03:58 That crowbar connected. That's all I knew for a good long time.
04:03 When I came to again, I was sitting under a tree on the side of a hill,
04:09 with a beautiful country landscape all to myself. Well, nearly all to myself.
04:16 Yes, sir. Will you just? Well, I... Will I which? Will you try a passage of arms?
04:24 Or land, or lady, or what you will. Friend, I don't know how you got over that asylum wall
04:30 with all that kitchenware on you, but you better get back or I'll report you.
04:34 I'll refuse my challenge. Prepare to defend thyself.
04:37 Oh, by golly, that one's dangerous. I wonder if the alarm is out for him yet.
04:43 I claim this my prisoner. Will you come quietly, or just I'll seek further argument?
04:48 Oh, no, I ain't budging out of this street until they find out you've escaped and send a guard
04:52 after you. I'll just defy thee! Oh, go easy with that hardware.
04:57 Good heavens, here. Thanks. Here comes the posse. Now, this way, fellas.
05:02 Give me good news, Sir Sagramore. Where came you by this creature?
05:10 Take him in charge, page and witch, and now guard him well. He is the prisoner of my shore.
05:13 And it pleased him a lot? That's right, sir. Fumor him.
05:18 Hey, you are one of the prison asylum guards, aren't you?
05:24 Oh, mad effe, sir. Miss Seamoth.
05:26 That's enough. I reckon you're one of the patients, too.
05:29 Untreat him! All right, all right. I'm coming down.
05:32 Well, I reckon these folks ain't patients from the asylum after all. I reckon it's me
05:47 that somehow got into the place. Look, son, you seem a little saner than the others.
05:53 How do I get in touch with the head keeper? Oh, privy, do not let me.
05:58 Let you what? Hinder me, then, if it please thee better.
06:01 We must needs proceed on our journey at once. Our journey? Where we going? Oh, oh, Hartford?
06:06 Yonder. Oh, oh, Bridgeport, eh?
06:11 Do you not see young battlements? Is not the castle at Camelot?
06:15 Is not? Or is it?
06:29 It is.
06:43 Stand back, gentlemen, I done my life. Stand not thus for thine eyes aversion,
07:09 lest I cast a spell to make harmless the powers of this evil sorcerer.
07:23 Now get me out of here. Get me out of here!
07:32 Now I have cast my spell, and thou mayst gaze with impunity.
07:37 Didst ever see the like? 'Tis somewhat like a man,
07:41 yet withal not like a man. Who, me? Ah, no, just a minute.
07:46 What barbarous language is this? 'Tis the tongue of the wicked magicians of Mordor.
07:50 Hold it. Look, you, this evil one wears the clothing of a sorcerer.
07:53 But what is the purpose of yon inverted bathing bowl which rests upon his head?
07:57 I rarely. 'Tis a most ingenious device, which upon removal
08:01 doth cause flames to spout forth from the face. Verily?
08:05 Excuse me, ma'am, the name is Morgan, Hank Morgan, from Hartford, Connecticut, the Nutmeg State.
08:11 Ah! I saw no flames.
08:16 Well, well, thou seest now how I offended him, huh, miss?
08:20 I must hurry me to fetch King Arthur, that he may marvel at my wondrous powers.
08:25 Hey, you, you, miss, come here. Come here.
08:30 Is it safe?
08:33 Where am I?
08:39 There it is, sir. Now is not thou art in the dungeon at King Arthur's court?
08:46 King Arthur's court, huh? Tell me,
08:50 which way is up?
08:59 And down. Now, how do I get out of here?
09:02 Ah, no, no, no, no, never mind, never mind. Think hard.
09:07 What date is today?
09:10 Well, marry, sir, to an old street, you know what day it is?
09:14 It is the 21st day of the month of June in the year 528.
09:18 528, eh?
09:20 Oh, you sooth this, I know, gentle sir.
09:22 For being born the same day of June, in the year 513.
09:26 Ah, no, no, no, no, no, wait a minute, wait a minute, cut it out.
09:28 You mean to stand there and tell me that you were born in the year 513?
09:32 Oh, no, no, you don't look it.
09:36 Oh, you marry, sir, and I would laugh, and it would listen me well.
09:40 Well, I have a jade to split your size.
09:42 Well, now I'm ready.
09:43 Right so it happened that upon a recent journey,
09:46 I did encounter a nobleman of my acquaintance whom I recalled I had observed
09:49 upon a previous even in the company of a good woman whose name I in features I knew not.
09:55 Well, have a good day, noble sir, 'cause I,
09:58 and brithly tell me, who was that good woman with whom I perceived thee but yesterday,
10:03 whereupon most a noble died?
10:04 That were no good woman, that were my wife!
10:08 [Laughter]
10:11 That settles it, no more, you understand?
10:13 I gotta stand here in my own dream and hear that one again.
10:17 This must be a nightmare.
10:18 And decide that I may gaze upon this monstrous demon.
10:23 Please, your majesty, do not all at once gaze full upon him, lest the shock be too great.
10:28 Boo!
10:29 Oh, most pitiful spectacle!
10:33 And yet, methinks the poor creature doth bear some distant kinship with mankind.
10:41 Would be a kindness to burn it alive.
10:44 Ah, no, no, not my own dream, no, no, sir, he, your majesty,
10:48 thanks just the same for your kindness.
10:50 Ay, my liege, he must be burned at the stake, and that quickly, too,
10:53 ere he regain his evil power and destroy us all.
10:56 And then, please your grace, we will burn him at the stake at high noon this very day.
11:00 Now, look here, I'm gonna count up to three of you here,
11:02 and when I open my eyes, you're all gonna be gone.
11:05 At the count of three, I'm going to be back in the factory and finish my fight with Hercules.
11:09 You ready?
11:10 One, two, three!
11:15 Well, maybe it is the 21st of June, 528.
11:40 But 1300 years from now, when you're dead and forgotten,
11:44 I'm going to be hanging around the corner store in Hartford, Connecticut, the nutmeg state.
11:49 And if you think for one moment that you're going to burn me at the stake,
11:53 doubt it not fair, sir.
12:05 [MUSIC]
12:15 [SOUND]
12:25 [MUSIC]
12:35 Is all in readiness?
12:47 Well, then, Merlin, burn the monster and be done with it.
12:50 At once, at once, your majesty.
12:52 Hey, hey, you, you, what of your name is that?
12:54 I'm called Alisanne, gentle sir.
12:56 Alisanne, what are you trampling for?
12:58 It's only a dream.
12:59 No, it is no dream.
13:01 And thou art undone.
13:03 I wish I were undone.
13:05 Oh, uh, Barron's my boy here.
13:07 You don't happen to have a knife handy?
13:09 Oh, la, sir, know thee not thy bonds are but the trappings of the ceremony,
13:14 and worthy of the merest gossamer, yet thou couldst not move?
13:16 For Merlin hath cast a spell over thee.
13:19 Oh, he has, eh?
13:20 Well, I'm a bit of a magician myself.
13:23 And if you'll just slip me a knife, I'll show that chuckle-headed old humbug a trick or two.
13:28 I dare not.
13:29 There's life for you.
13:32 I don't suppose anybody in the world ever had an opportunity like this.
13:35 Here I am in the sixth century with a 19th century brain.
13:38 Why, I could be boss of this country in six months, and here I am.
13:42 Gonna be burnt to the stake before I have a chance to get started.
13:45 Now, where is that Merlin?
13:51 I grow weary with waiting, and faint for lack of food and drink.
13:55 Is not high noon?
13:57 Over, Merlin, Merlin.
13:59 Well, well, well.
14:01 All is in readiness, Merlin.
14:03 On with it, then, on with it.
14:05 Where is the torch?
14:06 The torch, the torch.
14:08 Fetch it, idiots, fetch it.
14:10 Oh, sir, all but the torch is in readiness.
14:14 I do fear thy day is come.
14:16 Well, if I can help it.
14:19 June 21st, 528.
14:22 There's something about that date.
14:24 Look here, how the sky grows dark.
14:26 And the very sun would fain hide from this cruel heat.
14:31 Cindy!
14:31 You'll save the day.
14:33 Now I remember.
14:34 Well, almanac, page 301.
14:38 The first recorded eclipse of the sun happened on June 21st, 528 A.D., three minutes past noon.
14:45 I told you I knew my almanac.
14:49 McQueen, McQueen, apply the torch.
14:51 The torch, I say.
14:52 I forbid it.
14:55 If any man take one step before I get him,
15:01 leave, the very heavens will consume him with thunder and lightning.
15:05 Love can take heed.
15:07 Merlin, where is thy star?
15:18 Well, sayest thou this sorcerer is truly helpless?
15:22 Indeed, indeed, my lady, he is quite disarmed.
15:25 Ah, helpless, am I?
15:26 Look at the sky, look, disarmed am I.
15:29 Why, that old fuddy-duddy Merlin couldn't disarm a bumblebee.
15:32 I've got some A1 magic in my bag of tricks.
15:37 Now you just watch this one.
15:38 No!
15:39 What art thou doing to the sky?
15:45 I'm going to smother the whole world in the deep blackness of midnight.
15:50 The fruits of the earth shall rot for lack of light and warmth,
15:54 and the people of the earth shall famish and die.
15:57 No!
15:57 Oh, I've riled up now, your majesty, and just to show you
16:03 and your boyfriends how to have some manners, I'm going to blot out the sun.
16:09 No!
16:09 Have a carnival!
16:12 No!
16:14 Have a carnival!
16:16 Be merciful, great sorcerer.
16:18 Have a carnival!
16:20 Name thy terms, even to the halving of my kingdom,
16:27 but banish this calamity, spare the sun.
16:31 Have a carnival!
16:33 Have a carnival!
16:34 Sir, thou hast met thy mercy, pray heed their cries.
16:37 Did the spell cease?
16:38 We beseech thee, gentle sir, the sun is near blotted out.
16:43 Have a carnival!
16:44 My name, my terms in heaven's name, my terms.
16:51 All right, your majesty, these are my terms.
16:54 You shall remain king over all your dominions
16:58 and receive all the honor and glory that goes with kingship,
17:00 but I will become your perpetual minister and executive,
17:05 and you will give me leave to make whatever changes in the kingdom that I see fit.
17:10 From now on, I am boss around here.
17:13 'Tis done, sir boss.
17:23 And now, now I beg thee, wipe away this creeping night
17:33 and restore light and cheer that all the world may bless thee.
17:37 Okay, your majesty, let the enchantment dissolve and pass harmless away.
18:04 Undo his bonds and set him free and do homage high and low, rich and poor,
18:10 for he is become sir boss, the king's right hand.
18:15 Yeah, it's a bargain, your majesty.
18:19 There's nothing in the world I like so much as a good bargain.
18:21 Why, we'll have this place showing a neat little profit before you can say,
18:25 nutmeg!
18:27 Nutmeg!
18:28 In faith, sir boss, scarce can I contain myself
18:44 till this wondrous calm uncle is explained.
18:48 You know, your majesty, I never saw such a place for people to stay up all night,
18:52 if they're afraid to go to sleep for fear somebody's gonna sneak up behind them with a knife.
18:55 Well, I'm going to put an end to that right now.
18:59 Observe, please.
19:07 God's fetish are not thy enchantment.
19:12 Ah, I get the point.
19:14 You know, your majesty, the smallest child in my hometown could rig up a gadget like that.
19:19 In fact, most of us did.
19:20 And now I may sleep my fill, safe in the knowledge that none may enter unobserved.
19:27 That's right, your majesty.
19:28 I hear it.
19:30 Deed is a wondrous enchantment.
19:33 I pray thee, let me hear it again.
19:35 By it yourself.
19:36 To work at my command, being no sorcerer?
19:40 Oh, yes, it was a little special kind of magic I ran up,
19:45 just so you could operate it without any trouble.
19:47 Ah, very.
19:48 Have at it, then.
19:51 Miraculous happening.
20:01 Ah, here is a charm that delights me greatly.
20:04 I pray thee, sir, get thee on the other side while I remain here and counterfeit sleep.
20:10 Then when thou think'st me slumbering, open the door and say to steal upon me unawares.
20:17 Okay, your majesty.
20:18 I can, sir, I can.
20:19 If you please, your majesty.
20:21 Miraculous charm.
20:25 Ha ha ha.
20:27 Good morning, good morning.
20:41 Hello, Miss Sandy.
20:43 What are you up to?
20:44 Oh, I...
20:45 No, don't tell me.
20:46 Right now I'm playing hide and seek with King Arthur.
20:49 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
20:54 Ready or not, I'm coming.
20:56 Aha!
20:57 Have at thee intended assassin, and rue thy foolhardiness ere thou die.
21:05 By my faith, sir boss, it lacketh nothing, this enchantment of thine.
21:13 I am mighty glad, it pleases your majesty.
21:15 Pleases me?
21:16 Never have my eyes beheld its fellow for delight.
21:19 I prithee, sir, let us do it again.
21:22 This time I will be you and you me and I...
21:25 But if I might be excused, your majesty, I have some very important matters to attend to.
21:30 Very please thee, sir boss.
21:32 Ha ha, wondrous.
21:38 How say you, sir boss?
21:42 Canst place such a tongue as this on every tree in England,
21:46 that I may ride the land without fear of ambuscade?
21:49 I'm working on something for that very purpose,
21:53 but it's a little more ambitious than these gadgets and takes more time.
21:57 It's called a telephone.
21:58 Tele... telephone?
22:00 Ah, there is a word to conjure with surely.
22:05 Your majesty, you can sit right here, do a day's work,
22:09 and yet know everything that's going on anywhere in the kingdom.
22:11 You don't have to go off on one of these wild goose chases,
22:15 because sir Sagamore thinks there's dragons coming.
22:18 Why, sir boss, wouldst deprive the nobles of brittle of the chase?
22:23 We fear the time would hang heavy on our hands.
22:27 Ah, but you'll be busy answering the phone.
22:29 Besides, we're going to go to work here,
22:33 and bring about something in this kingdom that'll change it into everything it should be.
22:37 If I see thee, sir boss.
22:39 First off, we're going to take all the comforts of home in the 19th century,
22:43 and tack them on to the simple, sweet little ways of you folks here in the 6th century.
22:47 Why, in no time at all, there'll be no more starving to death.
22:51 Life will be easier to live.
22:52 We'll have this place chock full of people all as happy as kings.
22:56 Ah, sir boss, what would I not give to see that day?
22:59 Nothing to it, your majesty.
23:01 You'll be able to sleep nights.
23:02 You won't have to go around with all this hardware on your...
23:04 Oh, your majesty, remind me to invent you a nice $12 suit, just like this one.
23:11 Oh, heaven forbid.
23:12 With two pairs of pants.
23:13 Heaven forbid, sir boss.
23:15 Unless it be vital to thy project, I would endure much for the welfare of my people.
23:22 Well, there's no accounting for taste.
23:24 You go right ahead with your burger on, your majesty,
23:26 while I go out through the country and hang up some telephone lines.
23:29 I'll be back in a few days.
23:30 I bid thee haste, and in the meantime,
23:33 I shall command thy tinkle-tinkle to dwell on every door in the castle
23:38 so that none may approach me unannounced.
23:40 That's that, ticket, your majesty.
23:42 Okay, sir boss.
23:44 Morning, saggy pants.
23:49 What's he to you?
23:50 As to adversary of the Mary J, of the shepherd who possesseth a goat,
23:54 which peradventure boasts not of nose,
23:56 and upon being approached by a neighboring swinner...
23:59 uh, swineherd, who inquired of him,
24:02 "Mary, good man, since your goat boasts not of nose, how does it smell?"
24:06 The shepherd was pleased to reply, "Terrible."
24:09 I heard that one 1,300 years from now.
24:25 [Music]
24:38 [Music]
24:51 [Music]
25:03 [Music]
25:13 [Music]
25:23 [Music]
25:33 [Music]
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25:55 [Music]
26:07 [Music]
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26:29 [Music]
26:39 [Music]
26:49 [Music]
26:59 [Music]
27:09 [Music]
27:19 [Music]
27:29 [Music]
27:45 I knowest what thou art to do.
27:47 The king will pass this way shortly.
27:49 I caution thee both.
27:51 [Music]
28:07 [Phone rings]
28:09 Hello, hello Central. Hello Central.
28:11 And yet, hello Central.
28:35 It's Sir Boss.
28:38 Sure of them shooting this. Can you hear me Sandy?
28:43 Miraculous miracle.
28:46 That such a have should happen.
28:50 I am here to observe it.
28:53 Oh, but verily my lord, when you were here beside me, I could discern thy voice no clearer.
29:00 Oh, but here is a wondrous enchantment thou hast brought.
29:04 And one which will cast fear and dread into the hearts of all who would dare try to...
29:08 No, no, no, hold it, hold on, hold on Sandy.
29:11 Save the testimonial for the launching ceremony.
29:14 Right now we have a crisis to cope with.
29:17 Ah, where's the king? Tell me quick.
29:19 Oh, ah, a lackon well a day Sir Boss.
29:21 The king rides to his sister Morgan Le Fay.
29:23 But I can't hear you Sandy.
29:26 The king rides to his sister Morgan Le Fay.
29:30 Oh.
29:31 The day was but two hours spent when Merlin came to Arthur with news of an alarming vision concerning the king's sister.
29:38 Arthur immediately took him to horse and is even now upon the road.
29:42 Hang it, there's a brace of cutthroat slick lurking around the bend.
29:46 Never mind Sandy, just stick to your guns. Maybe I can head them off the pass.
29:52 (horse whinnies)
29:55 Sir Boss, assist me to this mount.
30:02 Well met Sir Boss.
30:05 And has thy journey proved fruitful?
30:07 Ah, no complaints so far, but I'm sure glad I ran into you.
30:10 I understand you're calling on your sister.
30:12 Ay, 'tis true my friend.
30:15 But how canst thou learn so, being absent so long from Camelot?
30:19 Oh, I just intercepted Merlin's vision, your majesty.
30:23 Oh, reverent magician.
30:26 And thou belittlest Sir Boss, and whisper to me that his powers are fraudulent.
30:32 Thou art a false prophet and contemptible.
30:35 My liege.
30:36 How, how would you like to run up a little prophecy and show the king what's going to happen to him and what's waiting for him around the corner, huh?
30:45 I'll give you a hint.
30:47 What hangs from the lowest branches of the tree, ripe and ready to fall on the king's noggin as he rides by, huh?
30:54 I have it Sir Boss. Fruit.
30:58 A pair of desperados with clubs and dirts.
31:02 Insoot.
31:03 Nothing was ever soothed.
31:05 Sir Boss lies, my liege.
31:07 Oh, well, if brother Merlin thinks I lied, let him mosey around the corner and prove it.
31:12 And how would that be proof, sir?
31:14 If the king they mean to kill, where is the prophet were I to venture forth?
31:17 Enough both.
31:19 Arthur Pendragon himself will truth the truth or falsity of this report.
31:25 No, no, no, no, not so fast, your majesty.
31:28 We all know you're a brave man, there's no point in killing yourself to prove it.
31:31 Stand aside, Sir Boss.
31:33 This is for royalty.
31:35 Oh, now, now you're making...
31:37 Fire!
31:39 It's done, noble knight.
31:48 Take, old Merlin, thou'lt reap no little reward for thy loyalty when I am king.
31:53 Let us stand here now and wait until the battle is over.
31:56 And then we will go forward and identify the remains.
32:01 And while the time wait, may have thou has not heard the merry jay of the good man who,
32:08 upon being served a bowl of broth in a tavern, called for the public and...
32:13 Try my faith, Sir Boss.
32:16 Oh, many a weary year has passed since I forced such a fight.
32:20 Who else dares brave Arthur Pendragon?
32:23 Let him come forth.
32:25 Oh, now, hold on, your majesty.
32:27 This is no time for chivalry.
32:30 Sir Sagamore's out to kill you.
32:32 Like as not he got five hundred cutthroats hiding in the woods between here and Camelot.
32:36 Now, wait a minute. Hold on, hold on.
32:38 We've got no time to waste.
32:39 Come here. Get out of those royal robes and into this peasant's.
32:42 Now, I'll explain later. Right now, do as I say.
32:46 Well, but the good man called for thine host.
32:49 Merry bonnet.
32:51 But, Prithee, do observe that fly reposing in my broth.
32:54 And faith, fair sir, replied thine host.
32:58 They were so small a creature.
33:01 Surely they were broth enough for both of you.
33:04 Oh, well done, well done.
33:19 Here they are, slaughtered.
33:22 Look, the buggers, the villains.
33:25 These are the fellows I paid to hire the thief.
33:27 Arthur shall not escape me. I will be king.
33:30 If ever Arthur and Sir Fawce live to return to Camelot, we shall have much to regret.
33:35 But wherefore did Arthur doff his crown and his robes?
33:37 For evidence.
33:38 They dressed themselves in the clothing of these two peasants,
33:40 they bettered to make their way to Camelot.
33:42 Then how shall we overtake them?
33:44 Come on, someone come.
33:46 Fair Sam, were you just?
33:56 She's I saw.
33:57 Nay, rather draw yours.
33:59 I am Sir Nantres of Garlet.
34:02 Knight of the realm, squire of the shire.
34:05 Peace, good Nantres of Garlet.
34:07 This is Sir Sagamore led Desirous, knight of the round table.
34:11 Who art thou?
34:13 I am Merlin, court sorcerer and advisor.
34:16 Sir, the late King Arthur.
34:18 Late King Arthur? King dead?
34:20 I'm sorry.
34:22 Here lies Merlin, his prime minister, cut down from Amberscade by two paid assassins.
34:28 Who's done this monstrous deed?
34:31 Fierce and evil murderers.
34:33 Even now they make their way through your realm, seeking to escape to the sea.
34:36 I pity them. Make haste to chase and capture them.
34:39 But how shall I know these villains?
34:42 Thou canst not mistake them, for the elder of the two is mad.
34:46 And upon being crossed will rant and rave and cry out that he is King Arthur himself.
34:51 Find these two fleeing slaves, and if the one cries out that he is Arthur Pendragon,
34:56 do not falter, but hang them forthwith.
34:58 Merlin, I'll not waste a moment.
35:00 I'll be off at once.
35:02 At once. Give you good day, sir.
35:04 Good day.
35:06 A noble invention.
35:08 That great fooly will find King Arthur and Sir Boris, and will hang them.
35:14 Now, at last, I shall be king.
35:18 By my head, sir boss, ye who doth travel afoot,
35:31 face a long and weary journey.
35:34 How long wilt take to get to Camelot, say thou?
35:37 Oh, what with herding in the woods while the processions pass, a day or so, I reckon.
35:43 Hey, on your feet, here comes quality.
35:47 Is that a marvel? Let them count.
35:49 You can't sit there, you're a peasant. You have to assume a humble attitude as they pass.
35:53 By my head, sir boss, so travel weary am I, I cannot ride.
35:57 Oh, no, I can't argue now. Here they come.
36:01 Hmph.
36:04 Doth rise so tardily from thy ease when thou perceives nobles on the road?
36:08 I humbly ask your pardon, noble knight. This old man is my father. He's weak and infirm,
36:13 and affected with all with dizziness in the head.
36:17 Indeed. Hm. Well met, then. I have a wondrous cure for dizziness of the head.
36:23 Where's my whip? Oh, no, no, hold on, noble knight.
36:25 Dost thou take it on thyself to whip innocent travellers?
36:28 That for thy whip, false knight.
36:33 Seize him! No, I spare not.
36:36 But Arthur Pendragon and his minister Sir Boss stand before thee.
36:40 Oh, no, no, he's mad. Pay no attention to him. The old boy's as crazy as a cow.
36:43 Oh, oh, oh, so he's mad. Oh, yes, he's mad.
36:45 Oh, the dendies must be the two Sagamore commissioned us to find.
36:48 Hear how the old one raves about being King, yes.
36:50 Huh? Seize him! Seize him at once!
36:51 No, no, no, no, I didn't mean that. Now, wait a minute, wait a minute.
36:54 I'll hand thee a mask, my lord.
36:56 This is the way of a toad man, my lord.
36:58 Arthur, King of the Britons, ha, ha. You shall hang by yon elm.
37:03 Now, that'll put an end to your ranting.
37:05 Now we are really in the soup.
37:09 But I'll say this for you, I gave him the fight, and I may not be very bright,
37:14 but you make a darn good King, Arnie.
37:16 Why, Sir Boss, thou dost speak as though these were in very truth our last moments on earth.
37:22 Sure, then shooting looks like it.
37:24 What's so funny about it?
37:27 What are you laughing at?
37:29 Yon country squire, ha, ha, ha.
37:33 In my mind's eye, I can see the look of wonderment upon his face
37:38 when thou dost decide to end this fondle-wile and blot out the sun.
37:44 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
37:52 Stands almost at noon.
37:59 Hurry with those ropes, villains.
38:01 I don't think your Majesty should take it so lightly.
38:12 Oh, thou wilt not allow harm to come to me, sir boss?
38:15 I tell you, we're a couple of cooked Indians, unless we can figure a way to free ourselves.
38:20 Thou canst free us?
38:22 These hours we've waited here, I bind it patiently,
38:26 knowing full well thy silence bespoke,
38:30 the weaving of such charms and enchantments as may most happily affect our release.
38:35 What hast thou devised, sir boss?
38:38 An invisible mist, perchance?
38:41 Or some spell to turn our enemies into chipmunks, squirrels,
38:46 I even nutmeg, or other beasts of the forest.
38:51 I give thee leave to improvise as thou wilt.
38:54 Ah, sir, I much oblige to your Majesty, I'm touched by your confidence in me.
38:58 What hast thou thought, I say boss?
39:00 I give thee leave to, to blot out the sun.
39:05 Now look here, your Majesty, you better understand something about my enchantment.
39:11 It ain't exactly parlour magic, you know, and I rare up and let go, it's got clasp.
39:17 I can't turn it on and off just in the spur of the moment.
39:20 But in any major...
39:21 But I tell you, it needs preparation, and I haven't got my equipment with me.
39:25 Sure, I'm trying to figure out some way out of this mess,
39:29 but I'm afraid magic won't do it, what we need now is a miracle.
39:33 So pretty, then, make a miracle.
39:36 Oh, I wish I could, 'cause when it comes to old-fashioned courage, honour, and such,
39:41 you people got my century licked hands down.
39:43 Of course, you've got a lot of superstitions, the same as we have,
39:47 but I figured I could rub those out once I invented the printing press and the public school system.
39:53 I somehow hate to hang before the good qualities in you nice people get a chance to pay off.
39:59 Now, Sir Bars, thou must not resign thyself to death, whilst not try one small enchantment.
40:07 Oh, no, there's no use kidding ourselves, your majesty.
40:11 We've been doing just as well, face it.
40:13 Now, here, have a cigar.
40:14 What has Fowler done?
40:15 Well, I'll tell you, we're trapped.
40:18 We're trapped, and for sure.
40:21 Because if we sit here, yes, hello, boys, if we sit here without doing anything...
40:27 Here we are, all right, all right, we're right there.
40:30 Well, I'll be hanged.
40:36 Sparrow.
40:37 Sparrow!
40:38 O cunning one, thou hast saved us again.
40:41 Beware, sir, refuse not thyself and us to sinners.
40:46 Tell the folks who we are.
40:48 I am Arthur Pendragon, son of Uther Pendragon, knight of the round table,
40:53 master of Camelot, ruler of Britain.
40:57 And here beside me is Sir Bars, my perpetual minister of state,
41:02 my right arm, my vine, my royal will.
41:07 Does anyone here doubt I speak the truth?
41:10 Mercy, my liege, mercy, blast us not all to an amber.
41:12 We've been deceived, Sir Sorcerer Merlin's deceived us.
41:15 Unto our bonds.
41:18 Aha, now, now, your majesty, the next item on our agenda
41:24 is to find out what's happening at Camelot, and fast.
41:47 Sir Sagramore's just proclaimed himself king.
41:50 The coronation's set for tomorrow with Merlin officiating.
41:53 In faith, Alysanne, I doubt our safety here now.
41:57 I've sorrowed, Ebptius.
41:59 We were the boss's friends and helpers.
42:01 Now Sagramore says he's dead, he and Arthur,
42:04 killed in a battle against fifty dragons.
42:07 Alas, Sir Bars, thou art gone from me forever.
42:16 Merlin, my very enchantment to mourn thy passing.
42:20 Oh, hang the girl, she promised to stay on duty.
42:25 Hello, Central, hello, hello, Central.
42:27 What manner of device is this, Sir Bars?
42:30 It's a device to save our skins in the kingdom.
42:33 If we can get any service here, of course the service will be better when I get it organized.
42:37 Hello, Central.
42:38 Why, Sir Bars, thou doth shout full loud,
42:42 but I doubt it fair be any small enough to fit inside this tree and give the answer.
42:47 Oh, no, your majesty, the person I'm talking to is not in the tree.
42:52 She's miles away at the castle.
42:54 For so?
42:55 Fair adventure, thy voice be not powerful enough to penetrate so great a distance.
43:00 Therefore we will help thee.
43:02 I charge thee, on the count of three, join thy voices to mine.
43:09 One, two, three.
43:12 Hello, Central.
43:15 Oh, no, your majesty, believe me, it doesn't help.
43:18 Believe me, it does not help.
43:20 Can it harm?
43:21 Now, once again, and this time together.
43:25 One, two, three.
43:30 Hello, Central.
43:38 O, deaf, O, blind, thy instrument beckon thee.
43:42 O, hear, I cannot speak, for her is still unrived with this voice.
43:47 Her boss's orders were to answer it when it rang.
43:54 Thy number, prithee.
43:57 I can count Clarence. Where in places have you been?
44:00 It's Sir Bars.
44:02 Sir Bars?
44:06 Is Sir Bars still unrived?
44:08 Unrived? You bet I'm unrived. So is the king.
44:11 Can you hear me, Sandy?
44:12 O, may the sunshine ever onward to frighten the gladness that is in my heart these words.
44:20 It doth talk. The little box doth talk to thee in accents most intelligible.
44:26 Hello, hello, Clarence. Clarence. Sandy, put Clarence on again, will you?
44:32 My pleasure, Sir Bars.
44:34 Clarence, tell me, what's happening?
44:36 O, Maddy, an askant few hours from now, Sir Sagramore proposes to reclaim himself king.
44:42 Sagramore? King?
44:45 Art the pentagon wearies of these games?
44:50 Sir Bars, I bid thee devise an enchantment to reduce Camelot to a lump of clay,
44:56 together with Sir Sagramore and all who will betray me.
44:59 O, now, now, Your Majesty, don't get riled up.
45:02 Clarence, Clarence, now listen to me. I want you to do a favor for me.
45:05 Go into my bedroom and get that wooden box that's under the bed.
45:08 Then carry it to the castle entrance. That's all.
45:11 This is a special bit of magic I've saved for a real emergency, and it looks as if this is it.
45:17 Your Majesty, come on. We're going to get your kingdom back.
45:28 We now proceed with the coronation of Sir Sagramore La Desirous as king of Britain
45:34 under the express wishes of the dying Art the Pentagon.
45:38 According to civil record, are there any here who would bring their voices against the ascendance of King Sagramore onto the throne?
45:49 I am ordered to pause here for reply.
45:53 (wind blowing)
45:56 To the first asking, there was no response. I am now ordered to command the second asking.
46:11 Are there any here who would raise their voices in defiance against King Sagramore's assumption?
46:21 On entries of garland, friend to Sagramore La Desirous, great audience upon the new king.
46:27 - Amuse, Sir Paul. - Sir, you got the box?
46:34 - Here, gentle sir. - What is that?
46:37 That's bad medicine for traitors, not take. Worse, they put those duds on, Your Majesty.
46:42 Here, hold that, Clarence.
46:44 To the second asking, there is no response. I am ordered to pronounce the final asking.
46:51 Are there any here who do not recognize Sagramore La Desirous as king of Britain?
47:08 Is the floor open for discussion of that motion?
47:12 - The boss speaks. - The boss!
47:15 The boss and the king, out of the way, saggy pants.
47:19 Ascend the throne, Your Majesty.
47:21 The traffic is clear.
47:23 Once more thou hast saved my kingdom in time of distress.
47:29 Good Sabas, approach the throne that thy king may embrace thee.
47:34 - I submit, Your Majesty. - At every turn thou hast confounded me.
47:37 Never shall thou foil me. Stop that nonsense, son.
47:41 Thy charms can hurt me not, for I have Merlin's protection.
47:45 Prepare to die, Merlin!
47:48 That one won't bother you anymore, Your Majesty.
47:58 - Sabas, thou'rt wounded. - Now, now, now, it's only a scratch.
48:02 I'll be all right soon as my head clears.
48:04 Thou'rt breaking without Merlin.
48:07 Oh, no, no, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones.
48:11 Thou belittlest my power and call me humbug.
48:14 Thou live to rue thy ridicule.
48:16 Sleep, Sabas. Sleep in dreamlessness for full thirteen centuries.
48:22 Now, now, I'm Hank Morgan from Hartford, Connecticut,
48:25 and I don't take any stock in charms and enchantments.
48:29 Sleep for thirteen hundred years don't make me laugh.
48:33 - Sir Boris, Sir Boris, Sir Boris.
48:34 - Spout, I stagger and pass my hand before thy eyes.
48:37 Sir Boris, good Sir Boris.
48:39 - Noble Boris, noble Boris.
48:41 - Sir Boris, the Prime Minister of the State.
48:43 Sir Boris, Sir Boris, Sir Boris, Sir Boris.
48:47 - Sir Boris, Sir Boris, Sir Boris.
48:50 (laughing)
49:01 - You know, whole saggy pants came running at me
49:05 and I just had time to shoot from the hip.
49:07 Not a bad shot at that.
49:10 Oh, sir, I'm sleeping.
49:13 I'm putrid, says the fella says.
49:16 Says, "It's getting late, I'm real sleepy."
49:21 The way I feel now, I'd be glad
49:25 for 1,300 more years of sleep.
49:29 (laughing)
49:31 Give me to them.
49:34 - Yes, sir.
49:35 (gentle music)
49:39 (gentle music)
49:41 (gentle music)
49:44 (gentle music)
49:46 (gentle music)
49:51 (gentle music)
50:10 (gentle music)
50:13 (gentle music)
50:16 (gentle music)
50:19 (upbeat music)
50:21 (upbeat music)