With an onslaught of health advice bombarding us every day, science won't be satisfied until everything we love is ruined.
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00:00 A slice of cake, fizzy drinks and oral sex. You ask anyone on the planet what they think
00:05 of that and they will tell you that is a damn good weekend.
00:08 Unfortunately scientists are hell bent on ruining our weekends and they're even now
00:12 telling us that you can't have a lion on weekends because it's going to mess up your sleep pattern.
00:18 And these aren't even sort of university students who are trying to create some sort of groundbreaking
00:22 discovery in science. These are established doctors who are just determined to ruin everything.
00:29 This first one, cakes, fizzy drinks and ice cream will cause kidney stones according to
00:34 a top doctor. I've got the papers right here. This is Dr. Shan Yin, researcher at the Affiliated
00:40 Hospital of North Sichuan Medical College in China. Says ours is the first study to
00:46 report an association between sugar consumption and kidney stones. That's not something to
00:51 be proud of. Everyone knows that they're bad for you. Stop ramming it down our faces.
00:55 Now that publication is a little bit of a bull buster because it says you cannot have
00:59 cake and you cannot have ice cream. Oh, but nevermind. I can wash things down with a fizzy
01:04 drink instead you may say. Wrong. You are not allowed to do that. It is banned. It is
01:08 forbidden. You're not allowed to do it. And that comes from the JAMA network open. They've
01:13 said no more fizzy drinks. Not even a single can of fizzy drinks is allowed. One can of
01:18 fizzy pop a day increases the risk of both liver cancer and disease in women they're
01:23 reporting. This is increasingly bad news when you realize that the study is only looking
01:28 at sugary drinks. So people that are going back to things like Pepsi and Coca-Cola to
01:32 avoid this spartan that we know is bad are now getting screwed from this side as well.
01:38 This study, here's what the authors say in this study. They say, "Results reported in
01:44 this study demonstrated a significant association of greater sugar sweetened beverage intake
01:49 and an increased risk of liver cancer and chronic liver disease mortality." Again, to
01:56 our knowledge, this is the first study to report a positive association. Why are you
02:00 telling us this? We know we're not meant to be having these things and yet these researchers
02:05 just consistently hammer it home. You're not allowed to do this. Do not eat that. Don't
02:10 drink this or you're going to fucking die. All of this food news is really, really depressing.
02:15 But on the upside, maybe I can go to bed, have a little bit of action and forget all
02:20 about it. Have a little bit of fun to just take my mind off. Wrong again. You're wrong
02:24 again. You cannot do anything in the bedroom because oral sex is also not allowed. Apparently
02:30 in this article here, oral sex is a risk factor for throat cancer. Wonderful news for absolutely
02:36 everybody. Over the past two decades, there's been a rapid increase in throat cancer in
02:41 the West to the extent that some have called it the N epidemic. Apparently something called
02:46 HPV is the link. It infects the throat and mouth region, begins cancerous growth and
02:52 is transmitted sexually. So you can't even have fun there. So to recap, you cannot have
02:57 any fun in the kitchen in the middle of the night. You cannot sneak away at three o'clock
03:01 for a cheeky bit of ice cream. That is forbidden. It's not allowed. You're also not allowed
03:06 to pig out on the sofa in front of the TV in your living room either. If you have anything
03:11 like a slice of cake, that's it. You're going to f***ing die too. And you can't have any
03:16 fun in the bedroom either. This is according to the Indian times. Maybe it's not quite
03:21 so reputable as some of the other sources, but hey, it's there. They're spewing it. We're
03:25 going to have to talk about it. It just, I don't get what these scientists are trying
03:32 to prove. Certain things we know are bad for us. We know the risks of heart disease, etc.
03:41 But we're all free to make our own decisions. Nobody's going out and eating sort of 12 burgers
03:48 a day or ordering McDonald's day in, day out. Nobody is drowning in Ben and Jerry's ice
03:54 cream. Everyone knows that things need to be done in moderation. You know, a little bit
03:58 here and there is the spice of life, but these scientists are determined to ruin that. Where
04:04 is the line with this? How far are scientists going to go to tell us that we cannot have
04:08 nice things? At what point are we forced to live off of a diet of rocket leaves and sadness?
04:15 And then my second complaint with this is the hypocrisy around it. Let's take Dr. What
04:20 was her name? Where's the bit of paper? I threw the bit of paper. Who was she? That's
04:26 the author's one. Where's the paper? Here's the paper. It was Dr. Yin. Dr. Yin. I want
04:36 to know what her fridge looks like because I guarantee that she's got some, she's got
04:41 some skeletons in her fridge. There is going to be red meat in there. There is going to
04:46 be chocolate. There's going to be ice cream in her freezer. I bet there's a can of fizzy
04:50 drink in there right this second, Dr. Yin. And so I just needed to get this off of my
04:55 chest to be honest, because as the health specialist, we're seeing this sort of stuff
04:59 come in every single day. It's being reported far and wide. Medical journals are being published
05:06 left, right and center. And frankly, if you try and follow all of this advice, you know,
05:12 you never have a fizzy drink again. You never have a slice of cake. You never eat any more
05:16 ice cream. Yes, you might live until 140 years old, but you'll be the most miserable 140
05:24 year old on the planet. You will be the saddest person ever if all you do is live off salad
05:29 and raw fruit. And speaking of raw fruit, actually, that's a very good point because
05:35 you can also go the complete other way. There was a Russian influencer called Zana, we reported
05:41 on this last week, who was living off of a diet of exclusively durian and jackfruit,
05:48 two types of raw fruit. And she died. And she died. And all of her friends think that
05:55 it was malnutrition. So you're not allowed to be super unhealthy. But if you're super
05:58 healthy, you may also die. There is no winning. There is no winning. There is only death.