Woman De-transitions After Losing Her Voice

Real Fix

Credit: SWNS  A woman has decided to "de-transition" back to living as a female after identifying as a transgender man for 15 years - after fearing she wouldn't be able to sing again.  Singer Cat Cattinson, 30, grew up as a female but identified as male from the age of 13.  She only started to transition to become a man in March 2020 - after spending years struggling with gender dysphoria.  She started taking testosterone which saw her voice drop and she went by the name of Tony.  Cat had been planning top surgery - to remove her breasts - but started to feel nauseous and experience heart palpitations when she took testosterone.

Transcript

00:00 Going off the testosterone was a confusing experience.

00:03 I felt like I was leaving a cult.

00:06 (soft music)

00:08 My name's Kat and I'm a musician and student in biology.

00:18 I'm sharing my story of detransition.

00:20 I once identified as trans.

00:22 I started to go through medical transition

00:24 and then because of health side effects

00:26 and detrimental changes to my singing voice

00:29 that forced me to stop performing,

00:31 I decided transitioning wasn't right for me.

00:34 From about 13 to 15,

00:40 I internally considered myself transgender,

00:43 but I didn't really tell anybody

00:45 until I was around 15 or 16.

00:49 And that was when I came out to my parents.

00:51 I liked to dress up as my dad when I was a little kid

00:56 and I had a pretty troubled teenagehood.

00:59 I suffered from anorexia and bulimia,

01:03 which was also an attempt to sort of

01:05 erase the feminine shape of my body.

01:07 I came out online on, I think it was on Facebook,

01:13 and I was going by the name Toni.

01:14 It took me a really long time

01:16 to decide to medically transition

01:18 because for one thing,

01:20 I was attempting to pursue a singing career

01:23 and so knowing that my voice would change.

01:27 Was a big deal for me.

01:28 From the first dose of testosterone that I took

01:32 and I was injecting myself.

01:34 I never ever had a doctor show me how to do it or anything.

01:38 My voice was changing, which I knew would happen,

01:40 but it was sort of gradually changing

01:42 and I was getting excited

01:43 'cause I was able to speak at a lower pitch

01:46 and like hit lower notes.

01:47 But then at around the two month mark,

01:49 things started to shift

01:50 and I started to have some health side effects.

01:52 But the thing that really sent me over the edge

01:54 is the vocal side effects.

01:56 I just had this really rapid vocal drop

02:01 and I opened my mouth to sing and nothing came out.

02:03 It was just air and this really

02:07 ugly sounding squeaking noise.

02:09 That was when I was kind of like,

02:11 what have I done to myself?

02:12 So that's when I really started to question everything

02:17 and about two weeks later,

02:19 I decided to quit testosterone cold turkey.

02:24 Going off the testosterone was a confusing experience.

02:27 I still identified as trans at that point.

02:30 Like I didn't want to go back to like living as a woman.

02:34 That was when I realized how unhealthy it was

02:37 for these activists who have been telling me

02:40 like don't listen to detransitioners,

02:41 don't listen to anyone who may be skeptical

02:45 or critical of like gender identity theory.

02:48 I felt like I was leaving a cult.

02:52 (upbeat music)

02:54 I ended up identifying as non-binary.

02:57 I want other people to know that it is possible

02:59 to manage gender dysphoria and accept yourself

03:02 without physically modifying your body

03:04 or going through surgery, things like that.

03:07 Now a year and a half later after my detransition,

03:10 I feel like I'm really more comfortable with myself

03:13 and happier than I have been in a long time, maybe ever.

03:17 (upbeat music)

03:19 (upbeat music)

03:22 (upbeat music)

03:25 you

03:27 [BLANK_AUDIO]

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