JAMES and Sarah first got together in high school and have been together for nine years. They appeared like any other couple growing up together, and moving away for college, but that all changed one year ago when Sarah's gay best friend Hunter expressed his feelings for both of them. The group dynamic began as roommates, and Sarah explained how Hunter broached the subject, "We were sitting down packing and he said 'I've got something to tell you guys, I have feelings for you both'. And James went, 'huh?' And I said 'same!' without skipping a beat." For Hunter, joining a formally straight, closed relationship was discombobulating for his identity, given his sexuality, "I knew I was gay, so I was a little confused", he said. Sarah had also been inwardly struggling with her romantic feelings towards Hunter but had questioned herself, thinking, "One, I'm with James, two, he's gay". James had never been with a man before, and it took a while for him to accept his attraction for Hunter too, learning how to be affectionate and open to a man. James and Sarah now define themselves as bi-sexual, and James said he is bi-romantic. Despite finding their groove with each other as a three, and becoming happier for it, many of their loved ones who had seen James and Sarah monogamously together for many years were worried about the sudden change to their status quo. "One of my friends thought it was an April Fools prank, she was weirded out by it", Sarah said. "She was asking if I was okay". Her family questioned if adding a third partner was her choice or James's, saying things like "Is this for you, or is this for him?" The throuple have now been together for a year and are going stronger than ever. James said, "I feel like when we first started out we were worried about how we were perceived and how our friends and family would think about us, but at the end of the day we are just doing what makes us happy and if people want to judge, so be it."
Follow the group across platforms on - @throuplenotacouple
Follow the group across platforms on - @throuplenotacouple
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FunTranscript
00:00My friend turned my boyfriend by.
00:02My name is James.
00:04My name is Sarah.
00:05My name is Hunter.
00:06James and I have been together since high school.
00:09James, he never was with a gun.
00:12Yeah.
00:12I cared for her a little bit more than a friend,
00:15but at the same time I knew I was gay.
00:17So I was a little confused.
00:20One of my friends, she was weirded out by it.
00:24It was very much a, like, what are you doing?
00:27Yeah, I think the worst judgment that we've gotten
00:29is a strong family.
00:30Is this for you or is it for him?
00:33Uh, we'll have a group.
00:35Like, let's go here or here.
00:38Okay, so...
00:40I feel like you look at us from, like,
00:42an outside perspective, majority of the time,
00:43it just kind of looks like a group of friends.
00:45Yeah.
00:46Um, and then I kiss him, and then I kiss him,
00:49and then it's like, oh, huh.
00:53Hi, my name is Sarah.
00:55My name is James.
00:56Hi, my name is Hunter.
00:57I'm bisexual.
00:58I would also say my sexuality is bisexual.
01:01So, my sexuality, I am actually a gay man who is biromantic.
01:09We first got together back in high school.
01:12I met Hunter when we all were trying to find a place to live
01:17after we got done doing college.
01:19We moved in together, and, uh, we were roommates.
01:25And that's where it all began.
01:27And, you know, one-bedroom apartment and all that.
01:30Yeah.
01:31You get pretty close.
01:32Have you ever considered adding a third person to your relationship
01:36before you guys met, uh, Hunter?
01:38No.
01:39We have never considered having a third,
01:42adding a third person to the relationship before.
01:44I'm a jealous person.
01:45I will say that.
01:46So, that was never anything that I had ever, like, ever crossed my mind in the slightest.
01:52I prefer monogamy, truthfully.
01:54I prefer monogamy until we got into whatever this is, honestly.
01:59That's been going on now for almost a year.
02:02I actually realized that I cared for her a little bit more than a friend.
02:08But, at the same time, I knew I was gay.
02:10So, I was a little confused myself.
02:12After realizing that, I think that's also kind of when I came to the realization of, like,
02:17do I have feelings for James?
02:19When did you catch him?
02:21I want to say maybe around the same time.
02:23And I was just kind of like, what?
02:26What?
02:27One, I'm with James.
02:29Two, he's gay.
02:30Like, get that out of your head.
02:32Hello.
02:33What is wrong with you?
02:34And it wasn't like those feelings for you James ever diminished or ever, you know, went
02:38away in any way, shape, or form.
02:42And we were sitting down packing.
02:43He said, I guess I'm going to tell you guys, I have feelings for you both.
02:49And James went, huh?
02:51And then I said, same, like, without skipping a beat.
02:55And then I went, huh?
02:58And he was just very caught off guard.
03:00And me and him kept exchanging looks.
03:01Like, did we just break him?
03:02What did we just do?
03:04I would say what I caught feelings, they weren't fully there yet.
03:07But after we decided to try this out, I really started to like, feel like, wow, like, I actually
03:12really do love and care about him.
03:14Yeah.
03:15I think that's the crazy thing.
03:16Like when we first got into this throuple, James had no intimate feelings for me.
03:21After we got into the throuple, that's when he tried to start exploring.
03:24My feelings for you never diminished either.
03:27Just leave that out there.
03:28They were still good and strong.
03:30I came up with me outside.
03:31You two were together for eight years.
03:32At the time, you also weren't out either.
03:34That's also true.
03:35Like, you were, you had feelings for guys, but you also didn't want to admit it to not
03:43just us, but yourself.
03:44I never really fully, like, come to terms with it, but like in the back of my mind,
03:49I thought about it.
03:50And over time, it became something that I knew I enjoyed and that made me happy.
03:56Who has with who?
03:58Like, what's the deal of it?
04:01Okay.
04:02So, me and James will have .
04:06James and Hunter will have .
04:08Me and Hunter, that's kind of where that gets a little bit complicated, because Hunter,
04:12as he said, is a gay man.
04:15But I, I do still want to please her.
04:18So, in order to do that, I've got an apple mashed on and we use a remote control, things
04:22like that.
04:23Um, I can't do anything with my mouth or, like, my downstairs.
04:28I can't do anything with that.
04:30And he's gonna stay soft as a caterpillar.
04:33Like, he's chilling.
04:34He's chilling.
04:35Now, if James would try the same stuff, we gotta go to another room.
04:37You know what I mean?
04:38Like, we gotta, we gotta go.
04:39Some examples of doubt that I know I've heard.
04:42Um, you guys don't actually love each other.
04:44This is just fun.
04:45Yeah.
04:46It's a phase.
04:47It's a phase.
04:48You'll, you'll enjoy yourselves and then you'll go back to your normal life.
04:51Well, this is normal life for us.
04:53Yeah.
04:54Maybe you guys are just going through a rough patch and is this for you or is it for him?
05:00And not thinking that it was a thing that was for both of us.
05:05Yeah.
05:06One of my friends, she thought it was an April fool's prank.
05:09She was like, you're lying to me.
05:11This is a lie.
05:12She was weirded out by it.
05:14Yeah.
05:15I think the worst judgment that we've gotten is from family.
05:17It is from family.
05:18Yeah.
05:19And I think yours specifically, one of his family members.
05:22Yeah.
05:23Definitely tore into him a little bit.
05:24Yeah.
05:25No matter what I did to explain it to him, he just wouldn't get it.
05:29Another one of the biggest assumptions, I think, when it comes to thruffles in general,
05:33is it's always two girls and one guy.
05:36Yeah.
05:37I feel like one of the conceptions people get about bisexual men is that it's,
05:42I feel like a lot of people can never really truly believe that someone actually can like both,
05:46but it is a thing and it is real.
05:48A lot more questions about how we sleep in the bedroom, if we sleep in one bed.
05:54That seems to be the number one question.
05:56Oh yeah.
05:57I was going to, you, uh.
05:59I, you, uh.
06:02We all just sleep in the same bed.
06:04Like we all just kind of take turns.
06:06It'll be me and James switching to be in the middle because Hunter does not like being in the middle.
06:11So we actually, we share a lot of things.
06:14My boyfriend.
06:15We actually do share.
06:16You're done.
06:17You're not wrong.
06:19We're going to have a video call with my grandma Peggy.
06:21Uh, and I'm interested to hear what she has to say about our relationship.
06:25Why did you suspect that we were in a Throckwell?
06:29Well, James actually gave up my bed, his bed to me and they all three slept together.
06:36And I was like, okay, there's something a little bit more.
06:42Did you have any other worries about our relationship, my mom?
06:46Um, no, because I kind of thought, well, if one left, the other one was there.
06:54You were happy.
06:57I just had a backup plan.
06:59I love Sarah.
07:00Yes.
07:01And I love the guys.
07:02It's very love that I love it.
07:05I gave two grandsons.
07:07Yeah.
07:08Honorary grandsons.
07:09Oh yeah.
07:10Honorary.
07:11Grandsons by choice.
07:14Thanks.
07:15Honorary.
07:16Sarah, I never thought I could love a woman.
07:20I really didn't.
07:22I thought it was a man and I was going to the grave.
07:26You've definitely changed my perspective on things.
07:28Uh, and that, that's, that's helped me a lot.
07:31And then of course, James, you've definitely helped me grow as a person too.
07:34Yeah.
07:35Overall, you guys have both definitely helped me to grow as a person and become the best version of myself.
07:40Stepping way out of my comfort zone to do something I never thought possible.
07:43And I'll never be able to thank you both enough for all the love, support.
07:48You truly do make me the happiest guy in the world.
07:50Knowing that you guys love each other and love me just as much as I love both of you, like, it makes me so happy.
07:58It's our lives.
07:59We're going to live it the way that we want to live it, honestly.
08:01Just keep your judgment to yourself.
08:03If you really don't like it, don't look.
08:06Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho.