• last year
Registration of the fourth solo program by the Dutch comedian Brigitte Kaandorp. | dG1fa3NmMVhtUTVLRW8
Transcript
00:00 Poor thing, right?
00:02 Do you know what my hitman had this week?
00:11 That was also so sad.
00:14 There was an ad in the paper.
00:17 It said "This week, meat party."
00:20 And I went to see what meat party was.
00:25 You shouldn't do that.
00:29 No.
00:30 I went to the butcher's.
00:32 And there was the first hitman and his wife.
00:35 And they both put on a happy hat.
00:38 Because of the meat party.
00:42 And you look under the glass of the counter.
00:46 And there are all those dead, empty, bleeding lips.
00:50 On those green, foamy jars.
00:53 With a little insert under it.
00:56 Against the bleeding.
00:59 And those lips are just lying there.
01:02 They can't do anything anymore.
01:04 They don't even know where they've been.
01:06 They can't leave. They're just dead.
01:08 And the hitman's wife has put all those slings around them.
01:12 Around those lips.
01:14 And then they have a meat party.
01:17 Those lips.
01:20 With all of them.
01:22 Fun.
01:26 You have such bad, sad, nasty things.
01:31 I saw something sad recently.
01:44 It was an old man who had to break down on the street.
01:53 Oh.
01:55 Yes, a lot of them.
01:58 Not just one little thing.
02:02 One little thing.
02:04 Like, well, I wasn't like that.
02:06 But really, carrots and bell peppers.
02:09 Chicken fillet, schnitzel, white things.
02:12 Chocolate, or hops.
02:15 You couldn't see that anymore.
02:17 The whole mess came out of their mouths.
02:21 Oh.
02:23 In the middle of a shopping mall.
02:25 Oh.
02:26 On a Saturday afternoon.
02:28 Oh.
02:29 Everyone saw it.
02:30 You could follow that whole trail.
02:33 Of that hitman.
02:35 Oh.
02:36 You turned 83 for that.
02:39 Oh.
02:40 Over his little dog.
02:47 You know that too.
02:50 He was looking up.
02:53 Yes.
02:54 Oh, how nice.
02:56 At his little boss.
02:58 What was going on with his little boss.
03:01 You suddenly got the full load.
03:03 Oh.
03:04 At first you thought it was because it had finished pieces.
03:09 Yes.
03:10 But it wasn't like that.
03:13 Oh.
03:14 Oh.
03:17 And then it was walking over his back.
03:20 And under his back he had a wet spot.
03:24 You know, a wet spot.
03:27 That never closes.
03:29 It was opened with pus and feces.
03:32 An old dog's wet spot.
03:35 And at some point, the 83 year old rat was walking into that spot.
03:40 And it was doing that a lot.
03:43 And then he wanted to lick it off.
03:46 And he just couldn't reach it.
03:49 Oh.
03:50 An old dog.
03:52 Oh.
03:53 And then you were walking around like this.
03:55 Look, look, look, look.
03:57 Look, look, look, look.
03:59 Like this.
04:00 Next to that man.
04:04 And that man kept breaking through.
04:07 Oh.
04:08 Oh, you have such sad, bad things.
04:14 And if you only knew why.
04:17 But you don't know why.
04:21 Maybe you ate something wrong or something.
04:26 Ladies and gentlemen.
04:37 I have been shot in a depression.
04:43 I was shot in at once.
04:46 Honestly, I feel it coming in.
04:50 Cholera flu.
04:54 I could have done my original show just as well.
04:59 If I don't go out, we'll go home in a depression.
05:04 You'll have to see me bumbling to those lanterns.
05:08 I'll have to see them jump into the Amstel.
05:11 [laughter]
05:12 [silence]
05:16 [silence]
05:19 [BLANK_AUDIO]

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