Registration of the theatre program by the Dutch comedian Brigitte Kaandorp. | dG1fWmdvcnFrNVpjdWs
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 It's a very well-known phenomenon, right?
00:02 'Start-fear', I'm suddenly thinking about it.
00:04 I recently read an article about it in the scientific journal of the newspaper.
00:07 It's also called 'official start-fear'.
00:09 So if you find it difficult to start something, you suffer from 'start-fear'.
00:13 That's the official term.
00:15 There are even people, we did a research on this,
00:17 there are even people, it was in the newspaper,
00:19 there are even people who are so afraid to start,
00:22 they don't even get born.
00:24 Yes, yes, it's true.
00:26 It's a scary seed.
00:28 Yes, yes, it's still swimming back.
00:31 Yes, really.
00:33 You can still have such guys, but they are just loose flotters.
00:36 You can't shoot them off.
00:38 You have nothing to do with it. It's swimming everywhere, except for the good ones.
00:41 Half of the world's population doesn't even come to the world.
00:44 It's a very tragic problem.
00:46 We are only with half, enough.
00:49 But it is a kind of tragic problem that the rest just doesn't dare to come to the world.
00:54 I've had it myself, by the way.
00:56 I didn't know that.
00:58 My father only recently told me.
01:00 He said, "Did you know that I really had to keep on pushing you to be born?"
01:03 "Yes, yes."
01:05 He said, "I had to do this 500, 600 times with your mother, before you could say yes."
01:10 "I came to the pre-school, because if you know my mother, it wasn't fun for my father."
01:13 "No, no."
01:15 "No, I also came over ten years late."
01:19 "Everyone was already born, I came to screw myself again with my start-fear."
01:24 "I've had it for a very long time."
01:27 "I just didn't start, with nothing."
01:30 "Not with my whole life."
01:32 "Everything was so long for me."
01:34 "Everything was, yes, well, it's coming, I'm going to do it, I have to go."
01:36 "I'm still hanging on, I'm still taking lessons, I'm still going to buy."
01:39 "Everything was temporary."
01:41 "At a certain point, I had a temporary house for a while."
01:46 "I was already an adult, a temporary house for a while."
01:48 "I had a temporary husband."
01:50 "I had a temporary dog."
01:52 "I had a dog."
01:54 "I had a temporary car."
01:56 "No, it wasn't fun anymore, it really wasn't fun anymore."
01:59 "It was really pathetic."
02:00 "But it was over in one go, it was over in one go with that whole start-fear."
02:03 "That's also a story."
02:04 "I have a son of twelve, and he saves Dinky Toys."
02:08 "Well, that's also a story, I wouldn't find it difficult anymore."
02:12 "Yes, that's also a 'sit ik nou' to think, huh?"
02:14 "No, yes, no."
02:16 "Yes, no, but that's not part of the show either."
02:18 "No, no, there's a woman sitting here who says, 'tell me now'."
02:20 "No, no, no."
02:22 "Yes, no, but that's also too private."
02:25 "Well, yes."
02:26 "Yes, yes, no, yes, no, yes."
02:28 "Yes, yes."
02:30 "Yes, yes."
02:31 "Very briefly, very briefly, just a moment, guys."
02:34 "We're going to start very briefly."
02:35 "Well, I was going to tell you very briefly."
02:37 "Yes, that's a story."
02:38 "Well, I have a son of twelve and a daughter of eight."
02:42 "But that has nothing to do with this story."
02:44 "And my son of twelve saved Dinky Toys."
02:47 "Those toy cars."
02:48 "You almost never see them again."
02:49 "By the way, you also never see boys who have a hobby saving Dinky Toys."
02:52 "It's a very old-fashioned hobby."
02:53 "It's also a very old-fashioned boy, by the way."
02:55 "Blonde hair, blue eyes, a window blouse."
02:57 "The same boy who used to sit in front of me on the bike and always in the hedge."
03:01 "Lazer, yes, yes."
03:03 "He's still alive."
03:04 "Yes."
03:06 "Yes, I'm really fed up with it."
03:07 "Because what a near-death experience."
03:09 "Dian is not all behind it."
03:10 "But anyway, anyway."
03:11 "Yes, people, come on."
03:12 "But anyway, so he's still alive."
03:13 "And he's been saving since..."
03:15 "Well, when he was in third or fourth grade, he was saving from those Dinky Toys."
03:18 "He just liked them."
03:19 "And those Dinky Toys..."
03:20 "Well, I don't know, those swirled a bit through the house."
03:23 "They were on the chimney, then in the window sill, then in a box, then under that bed."
03:27 "I don't know, well, those swirled a bit."
03:29 "And at some point he comes up to me and says, 'Mom, I'd like a plank.' "
03:32 "I say, 'What plank?' "
03:34 "He says, 'Well, a plank for above my bed.' "
03:36 "Then I can put those Dinky Toys up like that, preferably with a spot on it."
03:40 "And in the evening, before I go to sleep, I can look at my collection of Dinky Toys."
03:46 "With that light on it, like that."
03:47 "And then I turn it off and go to sleep."
03:49 "I say, 'Honey, I think it's a great idea.'"
03:51 "Yes, that I haven't come up with it myself yet."
03:53 "But that plank..."
03:55 "Well, then that plank, that was the story of my life."
03:58 "Because that plank didn't come afterwards."
04:00 "Do you know that?"
04:01 "Well, at least I had a plank."
04:02 "It's not that hard to get a plank from somewhere."
04:04 "You can get a plank everywhere."
04:05 "I had support to put that plank on."
04:07 "Plugs, screws, I don't know, a lot of drills, stone drills, wooden drills."
04:12 "I mean, I did have the hardware, at some point, all collected."
04:15 "But I didn't have the appropriate software program."
04:19 "Yes, no, but that's still crazy enough."
04:21 "A whole art to actually have that plank, water tank, on such a wall one day."
04:27 "Then you suddenly have the wrong plugs or the wrong screws."
04:29 "Or your battery drill is broken."
04:31 "Or you have a wooden drill and you need a stone drill."
04:33 "Or you fall from your stairs or someone calls you, I don't know."
04:35 "And then you say, well, you have a man for that, for that kind of work."
04:40 "But that was just gone."
04:42 "Yes, that's another story, well, so yes."
04:45 "Yes, no, yes."
04:47 "Well, so that was gone."
04:49 "And that plank, well, I don't know how long it stood at the foot of the child's bed against the wall."
04:55 "With that plastic bag, with those supports and those things and those plugs and those drills."
04:59 "The whole mess, it was just a bit of dusting."
05:02 "I had already forgotten the whole plank."
05:04 "And at some point, how was it?"
05:06 "How was it? Yes, God, I know, I'm sitting in my room at the table."
05:13 "At about five o'clock in the afternoon, dark, half past six, I don't know."
05:17 "I'm sitting somewhere to cry, I don't know, what's going on now?"
05:20 "Well, that doesn't matter anymore for that story."
05:23 "Maybe it's about that man again, well, it doesn't matter."
05:25 "And then my 12-year-old son suddenly comes in with a box."
05:29 "I say, honey, what's in that box?"
05:31 "I had a kind of anxious feeling, of course."
05:34 "He says, it's filled with Dinky Toys."
05:36 "And I say, oh, I say, what are you going to do with it?"
05:39 "He says, I'm going to give them away."
05:41 "He says, yes, I'm going to give them to Fransje."
05:44 "Fransje is our neighbor, our boy from the sixties."
05:46 "He was always crazy about those Dinky Toys."
05:48 "He says, yes, I've actually become a little too old for the Dinky Toys, mom."
05:54 "And besides, Fransje's father actually already hung a plank on his bed yesterday."
06:02 "And his mother had a little sport."
06:04 "And they immediately mounted it."
06:06 "And the switch is at his pillow, at the end of his head."
06:09 "Then he doesn't have to take his bed off when he goes to sleep."
06:13 "So I think that Dinky Toys are better off with him on that plank."
06:16 "Than just wandering around the house, mom."
06:19 "And he turns around and he walks out the door with that box."
06:22 "And I'm just standing there, looking at him."
06:25 "All a little confused."
06:28 "And he walks off the garden horse."
06:30 "And then he turns around again halfway through the garden horse."
06:33 "And then he says, oh, and then he says."
06:36 "He's a nice little boy, he says, oh, it doesn't matter, mom."
06:39 "You can do other things very well again."
06:42 "Yes, he says, you can write very nice songs about girls who can't keep up with their pee."
06:48 "And radiographed sailing boats and cows and stuff."
06:51 "That's also very smart, mom."
06:53 "And he turns around and walks off with that box."
06:56 "Oh, and then he turns around at the garden gate again."
07:00 "Oh, and then he says, and then he says."
07:04 "Don't cry, mom."
07:06 "It's good for my bargaining power."
07:10 "Yes, he's a nice little boy."
07:15 "He says, it's convenient for later."
07:17 "Then I can probably handle disappointments very well."
07:20 "And I learned that from you."
07:22 "Thank you, mom."
07:23 "He also says, oh, oh, oh, oh."
07:27 "And he turns around and walks off with that box."
07:30 "With those Dinky Toys that had never been on that plank above his bed."
07:35 "And then it was over in one go."
07:37 "I just wanted to tell you that, I'm making it way too long again."
07:39 "But then it was over in one go with that whole anxiety."
07:42 "I really hear a click in my head, literally a click."
07:45 "That was of course the button that went around, a real click."
07:49 "Or was it a click, if I remember correctly?"
07:51 "No, a click, it was a click, a real click."
07:53 "And then it was over in one go, from one second to the next, with that anxiety."
07:57 "From one second to the next, I was changed from hopelessly temporary to definitely."
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