Daddy Issues: Psychology Behind Father Wound

  • last year
The relationship you have with your father can shape your adult life significantly, affecting how you handle relationships, self-esteem, trust, and more. The term 'daddy issues' likely stems from Sigmund Freud's 'Father Complex,' which is loosely connected to his Oedipus Complex theory.

In this video, we will uncover everything about daddy issues and psychology behind the father wound.

Remember, these issues can impact anyone, regardless of gender.
Source: Psych2Go
Transcript
00:00 Hey, Psych2Goers, we're so glad to see you here,
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00:12 Now, let's begin, shall we?
00:15 From Lana Del Rey's emotional ballads
00:17 to Humbert Humbert's disturbing obsession with Lolita,
00:21 having troubled relationships with fathers
00:23 is a common theme in popular culture.
00:25 But while these examples may romanticize
00:27 or sensationalize the concept of daddy issues,
00:31 the reality is much deeper and more serious.
00:34 What does it really mean to have daddy issues?
00:36 And how do these issues shape your life and relationships?
00:40 In this video, we'll take a look
00:42 at the psychology behind father wounds
00:43 and explore the real impact
00:45 of an unhealthy father-child dynamic
00:47 on a person's mental health and relationships.
00:50 What are daddy issues?
00:53 According to licensed mental health counselor,
00:55 Bisma Anwar, the concept of daddy issues
00:57 refers to the psychological effects
00:59 of a strained or absent father-figure relationship
01:02 on a person's mental health and relationships.
01:05 Psychology labels daddy issues as the father complex.
01:08 The term describes problems in adulthood
01:11 that may be connected to difficulties
01:13 with the person's father during childhood.
01:15 Clinical psychologist, Dr. Carla Manley, says,
01:18 "It can manifest in a number of ways.
01:21 "The experience is as complex as the name suggests.
01:25 "Commonly, there's an inability to trust other men
01:28 "in your adult life."
01:30 Though it's generally used in relation to women,
01:32 the fact is anyone who grew up
01:34 with a dysfunctional father figure can develop daddy issues.
01:37 The idea comes from Sigmund Freud's theory
01:39 of the Oedipus complex.
01:41 It's named after the character Oedipus
01:42 in the ancient Greek play,
01:44 in which Oedipus unknowingly kills his father
01:46 and marries his mother.
01:48 Freud used this theory to theorize
01:50 that young children may try to get the love and attention
01:53 of their opposite sex parent
01:55 by competing with their same sex parent.
01:57 And while Freud's idea might be a good starting point,
02:01 today we don't really talk
02:02 about the Oedipus complex anymore.
02:04 So according to modern psychologists,
02:07 what are the origins of a father wound?
02:09 Modern theories, attachment, absence, and abuse.
02:12 Modern research suggests that the relationship
02:15 between a child and their father
02:16 can have a significant impact
02:18 on their development and wellbeing.
02:19 The one thing people with daddy issues have in common
02:22 is their relationship with their father
02:23 did not offer the love and support they needed.
02:26 Without an emotional attachment,
02:28 the child develops a deep feeling of unimportance
02:31 or a lack of self-acceptance.
02:33 Dr. Manley says, "In essence,
02:35 the adult child with daddy issues
02:36 unconsciously thinks and behaves in ways
02:38 that are an attempt to repair or repeat psychic wounds
02:42 that stem from the father-child relationship
02:44 or lack thereof."
02:46 For example, a 2008 study published
02:48 in the journal Acta Pediatrica
02:50 found that children who have a strong attachment
02:52 to their fathers are more likely
02:53 to have better social skills and emotional regulation,
02:56 as well as higher self-esteem and self-confidence.
02:58 On the other hand, children who grow up
03:00 with absent or abusive fathers
03:02 may be at higher risk for psychological and social problems.
03:06 A dad who wasn't present
03:07 or who didn't offer up any attention
03:09 leaves you with the fear of abandonment, rejection,
03:12 or constant worry that your partner may leave you,
03:15 according to therapist, Sonia Keller.
03:17 A 2017 study published in Journal of Child
03:20 and Family Studies has shown that children
03:22 who grow up without a father
03:24 are more likely to experience depression, anxiety,
03:27 and other mental health issues.
03:28 Also, a 2021 study published in Journal of Family Theory
03:32 suggests that the absence of a father
03:34 can lead to attachment issues
03:36 where the child has difficulty
03:37 forming healthy attachments with others.
03:39 Additionally, children who grow up with abusive fathers
03:42 may experience trauma that can affect their mental
03:45 and emotional development.
03:47 Did you have a strained
03:48 or unhealthy connection with your father?
03:50 If so, you may struggle with some difficulties
03:52 in your adult relationships.
03:54 So let's explore some of these difficulties.
03:57 A troubled father's legacy.
03:59 Growing up without a nurturing and supportive father
04:01 can lead a daughter to become insecure.
04:04 In her paper titled "Fatherless Woman,
04:06 What Happens to the Adult Woman
04:08 Who Was Raised Without Her Father?"
04:10 Gabriella Korch, PhD, says that a girl's self-worth
04:13 is often reflected in her father's behavior towards her.
04:17 A woman who had a positive relationship with her dad
04:19 is likely to be self-confident,
04:20 while a woman who lacked this validation
04:22 may struggle with low self-esteem.
04:24 This could make it harder for her
04:25 to overcome challenges throughout her life.
04:27 Korch also discusses three types of love relationships
04:30 that adult women may have
04:31 if they experienced emotional absence from their fathers.
04:35 In the first type,
04:36 the multifaceted arena of relationships.
04:38 Women who lack validation from themselves
04:40 may seek it through sexual relationships with men
04:43 until they feel accepted by the right one.
04:46 In the second type, marrying daddy.
04:48 Women may seek out older partners
04:51 as a way to find the father figure they never had.
04:53 In the third type, avoiding engaging emotions.
04:56 Women may choose to avoid emotional involvement with men
04:59 and focus on their careers instead.
05:01 Complex relationship with a father
05:03 can have a negative impact on sexual behavior as well.
05:06 A 2013 study published in the journal
05:08 of personality and social psychology
05:10 found that when fathers are absent
05:12 or not very involved in their daughter's lives,
05:15 it can lead to risky sexual behavior in women,
05:17 such as being more sexually permissive
05:19 and having negative attitudes towards using protection.
05:23 While the term daddy issues
05:24 often describes women's attachment issues in a relationship,
05:27 it's important to note
05:28 that this is not a female only problem.
05:31 Father complex was clinically used to refer to men
05:34 who had destructing, toxic relationships with their fathers
05:37 and struggled with approval.
05:39 Now psychologists realize it's not just related to males.
05:42 Since then, society has colloquialized
05:44 the term into daddy issues.
05:46 A 2013 dissertation from Drexel University
05:49 found that women who grew up with an absent
05:51 or emotionally distant father reported a range of issues,
05:54 including the lack of a male role model,
05:56 feelings of inadequacy,
05:58 such as a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem,
06:01 and a quest in adulthood to find father substitutes.
06:04 If you're watching this video
06:05 because you're struggling with the impact
06:07 of an unhealthy relationship with your father,
06:09 know that you're not alone.
06:10 Many people have faced similar challenges
06:12 and found ways to heal.
06:14 It's important to recognize that you can't change the past,
06:17 but you can work to improve your present and future.
06:20 Seeking support from a mental health professional
06:22 can be a helpful first step in working through your feelings
06:25 and finding healthy ways to cope.
06:27 Remember that it is never too late
06:30 to build a positive and nurturing relationship with yourself
06:33 and to seek out support
06:34 and loving relationships with others.
06:36 Remember that you're worthy of love
06:37 and that you have the strength and resilience
06:39 to overcome this challenge.
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