Gogglebox Australia S18E06 || Gogglebox Australia Season18 Episode6
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TVTranscript
00:00 We took Celia to the MCG for her first ever experience this weekend.
00:16 How'd she go?
00:17 She was so overwhelmed.
00:19 It took me 40 minutes to get to the MCG.
00:22 It took me 30 minutes to get home from the MCG.
00:26 And we were there for a grand total of 20 minutes.
00:30 Didn't even get a photo at the front.
00:32 Oh God.
00:34 Damn it.
00:35 Every evening in Australia, more than 4 million of us choose to spend the night in front of
00:41 the telly.
00:42 No!
00:43 What?
00:44 Yeah, they say that every time.
00:45 But have you ever wondered what other people are watching?
00:48 Please someone make a decision.
00:50 Oh, I don't know.
00:51 Find out what people thought about what was on in the last seven days.
00:55 Oh my gosh.
00:56 Oh my God, mate, how exciting.
00:58 We're here for the drama.
01:00 This week we met some big beasts.
01:02 Yes, just big stuff.
01:04 No bloody bugs and crap.
01:06 Discovered the lovers.
01:07 Oh, I've read about this.
01:09 I love it.
01:11 And applauded the inspired unemployed.
01:13 Oh my God, it's so awkward.
01:14 I want to bury myself.
01:15 The best thing I've seen on TV in a long time.
01:21 I had a chicken sandwich for lunch today and just the smell of it was disgusting.
01:28 That's pregnancy for you.
01:33 I mean, when I was pregnant with you, all I could eat were French fries and Vegemite.
01:37 I've been having a lot of burgers.
01:39 Is that good?
01:40 What, was French fries good for me?
01:42 There's nothing wrong with you.
01:44 Well, not everything.
01:47 I can travel into Italy in a way I've never done before.
01:51 Hey, oh, it's Gino.
01:54 Oh, yes.
01:55 I love Gino.
01:57 Monday on Foxtel, we said...
01:59 Buongiorno.
02:00 ...to our favourite Italian chef.
02:02 Join me on my Italian express.
02:04 Gino's Italian express.
02:06 Bellissimo.
02:07 It's Gino.
02:09 Yes, Gino's Italian.
02:11 Mamma mia.
02:12 And he's on a whistle-stop tour of his home country.
02:15 Italy.
02:17 Wrong country.
02:18 And of course, along the way, I'll be cooking up delicious speedy dishes with a twist.
02:24 Gino exploring Italy, food, culture, drinks.
02:29 Where my first stop will be the town of Cuneo.
02:34 Cuneo.
02:35 Cuneo.
02:36 I've got to be careful saying that word.
02:37 Cuneo.
02:39 Not "salute".
02:41 Ah, Gino.
02:42 What are you going to cook?
02:43 This area is home of Nutella chocolate spreads.
02:46 Nutella!
02:47 Oh.
02:48 Yes!
02:49 Inspired by the hazelnut trees, I'm going to create a delicious chocolate cheesecake.
02:54 Ooh!
02:55 Oh.
02:56 Shit, Gino.
02:57 Just what the doctor ordered.
02:59 Wow.
03:00 Look at it.
03:01 No, you didn't.
03:02 No, you didn't.
03:03 Come at us slowly.
03:04 Don't hit us with the Nutella cheesecake straight up.
03:07 I'm using cookies just to make a fine crumb.
03:11 He's making a base out of choc-chip cookies.
03:13 Oh my God.
03:14 Let's talk about the cream cheese and the chocolate spread.
03:17 Cream cheese and chocolate spread.
03:19 Oh, Jesus.
03:21 You savage.
03:22 Drizzle on top of the chilled cheesecake.
03:25 Ah.
03:26 Yes.
03:27 Add crushed hazelnuts.
03:29 Oh.
03:30 Yes.
03:31 Give it a twist.
03:32 Oh.
03:33 Oh my God, yes.
03:35 You ready?
03:36 Oh, yes!
03:37 All right, let's take a breath and go to our next destination.
03:42 Sorry, I'm actually celebrating.
03:44 This leg will take me to the must-see city of Turin.
03:48 Turin.
03:49 Turino.
03:50 Turin used to be the capital of Italy.
03:53 OK.
03:54 Did you know that?
03:55 I don't know where he gets his facts from.
03:58 And it's also known for...
04:00 I think Turin is where they build cars.
04:02 Being the headquarters of Fiat.
04:04 The home of Fiat.
04:05 How did you know that?
04:07 Look, Isabel, I read.
04:09 Carlo is part of a classic Fiat owners club.
04:12 He looks like ScoMo.
04:14 It's the Italian, Scott Morrison.
04:16 He's gone from Australia.
04:17 He's now a little Fiat Uber driver in Turin.
04:20 Yes.
04:21 Beep, beep, beep, beep.
04:22 And Italian ScoMo is taking Gino to the city's famous Fiat test track.
04:27 It's like a race course on the top of the building.
04:29 No way.
04:30 Time to race.
04:32 Oh, here we go.
04:33 Bye.
04:34 OK, let's do it.
04:35 I feel like those safety walls are not high enough.
04:37 That is so Italian.
04:39 Sit down, Gino.
04:41 I want to see food now.
04:43 Hurry up, I'm hungry.
04:44 I'm going to cook up fettuccine.
04:46 Yes.
04:47 Back to the food.
04:48 With pork, rosemary and local white truffle oil.
04:51 Yum.
04:52 Oh, my God.
04:54 Where do we start?
04:55 Right here.
04:56 Rosemary.
04:57 So we just cook in the middle of the track.
04:58 Oh, come on.
05:00 Piano.
05:01 Oh, my God, I'm trying to cook here.
05:03 Come here, come here, come here.
05:05 Look at that.
05:06 Look at the butter.
05:07 Little sizzle going on.
05:08 Exactly what I want.
05:09 Mascarpone cheese.
05:10 Mamma mia.
05:11 This is honestly the only cooking show I reckon I've actually got into ever.
05:17 Add frozen peas.
05:19 Peas.
05:20 OK, I'm out now.
05:21 He put peas in there.
05:22 Parmesan into the sauce.
05:24 Oh, fresh Parmesan, come on.
05:26 It's got your back.
05:27 OK.
05:28 Oh, we're in.
05:29 Bon appetito.
05:30 Buon appetito.
05:31 Buon appetito.
05:32 That looks good.
05:34 Wow.
05:35 Jeez, I'm still thinking about that cheesecake.
05:39 That was a delicious episode.
05:41 The Holy Trifecta.
05:43 Simple food, great travel places, funny accents.
05:46 Bellissimo.
05:47 It's bellissimo.
05:58 You know how we had eggs benedict?
06:00 Yeah.
06:01 And we always asked no ham, we want bacon, because I like the bacon.
06:04 But they had that holiday sauce.
06:06 Hollandaise.
06:07 Hollandaise, doesn't matter.
06:08 It's not holidays, it's Hollandaise.
06:10 That holiday sauce goes through me.
06:12 Hollandaise.
06:13 Whatever.
06:14 Monday night, Ten's guessing game was back.
06:19 This is the massinger.
06:21 No, close.
06:22 I love the massinger.
06:24 Let's get to it.
06:26 Prepare thy ears.
06:28 We're going to expect a lot of dancing, amazing outfits.
06:31 And a person we have no idea who they are.
06:33 Yeah!
06:34 Well, let's test the theory with our first masked singer.
06:38 Make some noise for Tiny!
06:40 It doesn't look very tiny.
06:42 It looks like a nightmare.
06:44 Oh, this is cute.
06:46 # I used to think maybe you'd love me... #
06:49 Oh, Jesus, that voice makes me think I can sing.
06:52 Yeah.
06:53 # You knock on my door... #
06:55 Oh, stop it.
06:56 Oh, God, people are annoying, aren't they?
06:58 # I'm walking on sunshine... #
07:00 What's she doing? I don't know.
07:02 I mean, you know, is it overacting a bit?
07:04 No, it's karaoke in a costume.
07:06 No, I'm talking about the judges.
07:08 Oh, yeah, they're on crack.
07:10 CHEERING
07:12 # I'm walking on sunshine... #
07:14 Woo-hoo!
07:16 # Don't feel good... #
07:18 That was good!
07:19 You know what's my least favourite part of this show?
07:22 When the judges make guesses.
07:24 They're always wrong.
07:25 I'm going to choose Neil Finn.
07:27 It's not Neil Finn.
07:29 Oh, for God's sake, he can actually sing!
07:32 John Mayer.
07:34 No.
07:35 You're not getting John Mayer on the Masked Singer.
07:38 John Mayer's too busy kissing chicks at the moment.
07:40 Jack Johnson!
07:41 It's not Jack Johnson, Husey!
07:43 Did they hear what we heard?
07:45 All right, who's next?
07:47 Give it up for Thorn!
07:48 Hello, little dear.
07:50 She is pretty.
07:51 You can't see her face, Isabel.
07:53 The costume's pretty.
07:54 # I know you like me... #
07:56 Oh, Pussycat Dolls.
07:58 # Don't you wish you were in my... #
08:00 # Sweet like me... #
08:01 Woo!
08:02 # ...picture... #
08:03 Ooh, OK, not a singer.
08:05 And not a dancer by the looks of it either.
08:07 # ...picture... #
08:09 Yeah!
08:11 Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
08:12 We're going to find out who Thorn is later,
08:14 cos that was terrible.
08:15 That was amazing!
08:16 That was not amazing!
08:18 They're as bad lies as they are guesses.
08:21 You know who I think it is?
08:23 I bet you it's Jackie O.
08:24 Jackie O.
08:25 I just said that!
08:26 Jackie O.
08:27 I just said it! Oh, my God!
08:29 I love it!
08:30 Jackie O.
08:31 Mel, don't pretend like you know who she is.
08:33 It was then time for...
08:35 Blue Bottle.
08:36 Be careful, Oshie, you can't touch the Blue Bottle.
08:38 You have to pee in your hand.
08:40 # The moment I wake up... #
08:43 # I put on my makeup... #
08:45 # I see a little bit more you... #
08:48 # Forever... #
08:49 # Forever, ever... #
08:51 # This is not you and I'm living hungry for me... #
08:55 # For me... #
08:57 # For me... #
08:59 Oh, that's piercing!
09:01 Yeah, that stings.
09:03 Someone piss on her.
09:05 Blue Bottle!
09:07 Let's just skip to the guessing.
09:08 I think it might be Baby Spice.
09:10 Baby Spice?
09:12 No!
09:13 Shut up! No!
09:15 You think it's Baby Spice?
09:16 Yeah.
09:17 After the audience vote,
09:19 it was time to boot someone off the show.
09:21 The singer who has to show us
09:23 their famous face behind the mask is...
09:25 Who's it going to be?
09:26 Thorn.
09:27 Tony has to go.
09:28 Take, take off!
09:29 We're not up to that part yet.
09:31 Thorn!
09:32 Oh! What?
09:34 Thorn, you now have to take off that mask.
09:36 Take it off!
09:38 Let's do this!
09:39 We'd better take it off!
09:41 # Take it off, take it off, take it off... #
09:45 Take it. We're all out of time.
09:47 LAUGHTER
09:49 Do we have to do this every time?
09:52 # Take it off! #
09:53 How difficult is it to take the mask off?
09:56 Just take the fricking thing off.
09:58 Who is it?
10:00 Surprise me. Let it be somebody I know.
10:02 It's Sandra Sully!
10:04 Sandra Sully?!
10:06 Sandra Sully!
10:08 Sandra Sully?!
10:10 What a rig like that!
10:12 # Sandra Sully! #
10:14 A-grade Australian celebrity talent is what that is.
10:18 She's been in my lounge room for 20 years.
10:20 I think she reported Jesus' birth.
10:22 Breaking in Bethlehem.
10:24 Yeah!
10:25 CHEERING
10:27 I'm liking the reveals here.
10:29 That might be my favourite masked singer ever.
10:31 Did you fart with excitement?
10:33 What?
10:34 Oh, my God, it stinks!
10:37 #
10:47 In Melbourne, it's just another quiet night at the Dalton's.
10:51 I reckon that's all.
10:52 I'm going to vomit.
10:53 Holly, don't.
10:54 I feel sick now.
10:55 Go away.
10:56 I'm eating a thing.
10:57 Shut up, Holly!
10:58 We don't have any food in the house. I'm over this.
11:01 What's the point of living at home if there's never food?
11:03 This week on Netflix, we binged a couple of episodes of a brand new series.
11:08 Jewish matchmaking, OK.
11:11 Is this, like, Indian matchmaker but for the Jews?
11:14 Good guess.
11:15 I was thinking about becoming Jewish
11:17 just so I could wear one of the little hats for my bald spot.
11:19 You'd need a bigger one than that.
11:21 Finding your person is the hardest thing to do in the entire world.
11:26 Shut up.
11:27 My name is Elisa Benchelon.
11:29 Oh, is she the matchmaker?
11:30 She's the matchmaker.
11:31 I am on this matchmaking mission.
11:34 My mum is my matchmaker, but she fails all the time.
11:38 I told you about the moustache girl, yeah?
11:40 I strictly do with the Jewish community.
11:42 And the eyebrows girl.
11:43 Yes.
11:44 Where I have helped over 200 couples to get to the hopper.
11:46 And the one that's related to us, yeah?
11:48 Well, let's hope Elisa is successful with her first client, Dani.
11:53 She's pretty.
11:55 Ooh.
11:56 She is really good looking.
11:59 You've got a little bit too much skin for this girl, my man.
12:01 Honestly, I don't know why I don't have men lined up waiting to marry me.
12:05 Chances are, she's nuts.
12:07 Let's just talk about what you really value in a partner.
12:10 I want someone with very strong eyebrows.
12:12 What?
12:13 Hey!
12:14 I have an Instagram account called Icon Brows.
12:16 And it's just pictures of my eyebrows.
12:19 It's like brows are her kink.
12:21 I have the most perfect eyebrows in the world.
12:23 I mean, look at these babies.
12:24 Imagine if we had kids.
12:25 Bro.
12:26 The kid would just come out with an eyebrow and that's it.
12:28 The kid will be an eyebrow.
12:29 Let me tell you about somebody that I have in mind.
12:33 Does he have nice brows?
12:34 I'm going to go visit her and become Jewish.
12:36 [laughs]
12:37 Okay, date time for Dani.
12:39 Who are you going to match him up with?
12:41 Hi!
12:42 Okay, eyebrows.
12:43 Thank you.
12:44 Are you guys here to eat?
12:45 No, no, I'm just here to brows.
12:47 How are you doing today?
12:48 Good.
12:49 On a scale of one to John Howard, how are his eyebrows?
12:51 There's definitely potential there.
12:52 Nice.
12:53 His eyebrows are good.
12:54 They're thick.
12:55 They were still manly.
12:56 Not overly connected.
12:57 They were still groomed.
12:58 Not taking over his face.
13:00 I'm happy with them.
13:01 Dick!
13:02 I think I need your number.
13:03 Oh, second date.
13:04 Yes.
13:05 Mazel tov!
13:06 With a 100% strike rate, let's see how Elisa does with her next client.
13:11 All right, now for Ari.
13:13 What's he looking for in a partner?
13:15 Mom is the best person.
13:17 Oh, mommy's boy.
13:18 She's my number one woman.
13:20 Already a red flag.
13:21 At every wedding, if we get to see the rabbi,
13:24 she tells him, "Please say a prayer for my son."
13:27 This is like your mom, praying every night for you to find a wife.
13:30 Honestly, she even looks like my mom.
13:32 That looks like your house.
13:35 That's my house.
13:36 I still live here with my parents.
13:40 He still lives at home with his parents.
13:42 It's more convenient to live here.
13:45 It's more comfortable.
13:46 This guy is the Jewish you.
13:48 This is really rock bottom.
13:49 Here she is.
13:52 Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.
13:55 I want them to be not only Jewish, but also Israeli.
13:59 Like me, I only want Lebanese.
14:01 How's that going for you?
14:02 Shit.
14:03 My family's here in LA.
14:05 Yeah.
14:06 My life is here in LA.
14:07 Must live in LA.
14:08 He is so specific.
14:10 What else?
14:11 Moroccan.
14:12 What?
14:13 Where did Moroccan come from?
14:14 Moroccan Israeli who lives in LA.
14:16 There's too many things.
14:17 Mine was just female and a life.
14:19 Blonde, blue eyes.
14:20 Oh, my God.
14:21 This list is out of control.
14:23 Blonde, blue eyed, Moroccan Israeli Jew
14:26 who lives in LA and looks like his mum.
14:28 Anything else, bro?
14:30 I only date beautiful women.
14:31 That's the thing with me.
14:32 I'm used to it.
14:33 Oh, my God.
14:34 I only date beautiful women.
14:36 Oh, bro.
14:37 Dish.
14:38 Bag.
14:39 Is this the date?
14:42 Who we got?
14:43 Well, she's not going to be blonde and blue eyed.
14:44 That's for sure.
14:45 Oh, wow.
14:48 She's gorgeous.
14:50 Addy, what's she doing with that dweeb?
14:52 Mate, Addy needs to run.
14:54 I'm an actress, so I mean, I've been dreaming to move here my whole life.
14:57 The way he's looking at her is like she is a piece of meat.
15:01 I live with my parents.
15:02 Oh, she gulped.
15:04 There are flags going up everywhere.
15:07 I am trying to move out.
15:09 I'm trying to move out, mate.
15:10 You're 30.
15:11 You can just move out.
15:12 Trying to move out.
15:13 If you're still living with your parents at 31, there's something wrong.
15:17 Anyway, moving on now.
15:18 Do you want to hang out again?
15:20 I want to see you again.
15:21 It's not going to happen.
15:22 No, say no.
15:23 Say no.
15:24 Say no.
15:25 Okay.
15:26 Oh.
15:27 That's a soft yes.
15:28 Dude, that is a marshmallow yes.
15:29 I still need to get to know him to really understand who he really is.
15:33 She probably fulfills most of his wish list.
15:36 Does he fulfill her wish list?
15:38 No.
15:40 Great show.
15:42 Great show.
15:43 Honestly.
15:44 I'll keep watching it because it's very close to home.
15:46 Look, as far as dating shows go, that was as shit as it gets.
15:51 They're nice glasses.
16:05 Can I try them on?
16:06 No.
16:07 Let me one try.
16:08 Use your magic.
16:09 I don't think.
16:10 Now, can you get him out of my face?
16:13 I don't think.
16:15 I think glasses do some good things.
16:17 I think if you start the show with your magic wand, give that a go.
16:20 Can you?
16:21 TV start.
16:23 Oh my goodness, it worked.
16:27 This week on Apple TV, we watched a documentary about...
16:32 Nature's big beasts.
16:34 Oh, I love this sort of stuff.
16:36 Just big stuff.
16:37 No bloody bugs and crap.
16:39 It's not easy being huge.
16:41 No, it's not.
16:42 Trust me.
16:43 The larger the animal, the more epic the adventure.
16:47 Big beasts.
16:50 Let's go.
16:51 Big and belligerent.
16:54 It's not David Attenborough, is it?
16:56 No, it's...
16:57 Tom Hiddleston.
16:58 Loki himself.
17:00 It's almost like we're cheating on David.
17:01 Each episode delves into the world of nature's big beasts, such as...
17:06 The hippos.
17:07 If you weigh as much as a pickup truck, this is paradise.
17:12 Do you know those birds, they're like hairdressers, they eat all the dead flesh.
17:17 I've never met a hairdresser that ate dead flesh.
17:19 A hippo's happy place, where he can take the weight off his feet.
17:25 I feel my happy place is in the bath at the moment.
17:28 Is it?
17:29 Because you feel like a hippo?
17:31 No.
17:32 Almost weightless, he can travel for miles.
17:36 Whoa.
17:37 He cuts a path through the vegetation and compacts sand into deep channels.
17:43 Oh my God.
17:44 So he actually makes the waterways himself.
17:47 Hippos are so cool.
17:48 There's a huge network of hippo highways.
17:53 Hippo highways.
17:54 Oh my God.
17:55 That's incredible.
17:56 I'd like to be a hippo in my next life.
17:58 I wouldn't.
17:59 I've already been fat in one life, I don't want to be fat in my next life.
18:02 But paradise also requires a gardener.
18:07 Elephants.
18:08 Water lilies are a rare treat in the desert, and he has just the right tool to make the most of them.
18:16 The big old trunk.
18:18 With 60 times more muscles than the entire human body.
18:22 So imagine 60 dudes pulling something, he could just do that.
18:26 I'd prefer not to.
18:28 His constant gardening helps keep the hippo channels clear.
18:33 So the hippos create the channels and he helps clear the channels.
18:37 Yes, the elephants like the council worker, keeping the roads clear.
18:41 But tougher times lie ahead.
18:43 Four months after the flood arrived, water evaporates.
18:48 No more water.
18:50 Oh no.
18:51 Oh, this is not good.
18:52 A lone male in search of somewhere to cool off.
18:56 But intruders are not welcome.
18:59 What's going to happen?
19:00 It's going to be called carnage.
19:03 Here we go.
19:09 Whoa.
19:10 Oh shit.
19:11 Scary.
19:12 Larger tusks give dad the edge.
19:15 Wow, this is a big boy.
19:17 The nomad will have to find water elsewhere.
19:21 I had a van called the Nomad.
19:22 Really, I never knew that fun fact.
19:25 And the hippos aren't the only ones struggling with the drought.
19:28 There's just not enough water for them all, is there?
19:31 One calf is already on his last legs.
19:35 Oh.
19:36 I hate seeing this stuff.
19:38 He needs over 20 pints of milk a day.
19:42 But none of the females have anything to give.
19:47 Sometimes mother nature sucks.
19:49 Eventually, one of them's had enough.
19:55 Oh, you don't do that.
19:57 The little calf is too weak to go on.
20:01 Oh no.
20:03 We can't watch this.
20:10 This is heartbreaking.
20:11 You're going to die, darling.
20:13 Get ready.
20:15 But the matriarch will not give up on him.
20:18 Don't give up.
20:19 Come on, get up.
20:20 Please.
20:21 She coaxes him back to his feet.
20:23 Come on.
20:24 Come on, baby face.
20:25 She stays close by the youngster's side
20:28 as they head off to where she knows there's food.
20:32 Good woman.
20:33 He's okay.
20:34 Oh, thank God.
20:36 After three months of drought.
20:41 The rains are coming.
20:42 The young calf gets his first taste of the flood.
20:47 Oh.
20:49 And the hippo's water world is revived.
20:53 Isn't nature wonderful?
20:57 Look, it was no David Attenborough.
20:59 I reckon Tom Hiddleston was good.
21:02 You just can't hate a nature doctor.
21:05 [Music]
21:15 This is really annoying me.
21:18 Get it.
21:19 Just be careful it might fall out.
21:20 No, no.
21:21 And then this.
21:23 Oh, what have you done here?
21:24 Just don't pull it too hard, man.
21:25 They come out pretty easily.
21:26 No, I know, I know.
21:27 They look good.
21:28 There's not much to do up there, but I made it look better.
21:30 Wednesday on the ABC.
21:32 Hard quiz.
21:34 It's time to quiz.
21:35 Hard.
21:36 Here we go, more niche topics.
21:38 Brisbane Broncos.
21:40 Oh, Brisbane Broncos.
21:42 Nina, Modern Families.
21:44 Oh, Modern Families.
21:45 Oh, I love Modern Families.
21:47 Steve.
21:48 Oh my God, Leanne, two Asians on hard quiz.
21:51 Lock it in, Tom.
21:52 G'day, Steve.
21:53 G'day, Tom.
21:54 Now, your expert subject is S Club 7.
21:57 S Club 7?
22:00 What, is it a band?
22:01 One hit wonder in like 1997.
22:04 Don't stop moving, don't be body scroobing.
22:08 Nina, your expert subject is Modern Families.
22:10 Modern Families, my favourite show.
22:12 Do you like it that it's easy to get?
22:14 Are you implying she's dumb?
22:15 You know, there are some complex jokes in there, Tom.
22:17 I wouldn't be surprised if they sort of went over your head or anything.
22:21 Give back to me, love.
22:23 I love when the contestants fire back.
22:25 Let's go, Tom.
22:26 Expert round.
22:28 Okay, okay, here we go.
22:29 Okay, we should get some of these.
22:30 Come on.
22:31 Modern Family is a comedy presented as a documentary,
22:33 a film style commonly known as what?
22:35 Sitcom?
22:36 Obdok Mockumentary?
22:38 Correct.
22:39 Oh, damn.
22:40 During the first season, a Facebook campaign called for couple Mitchell and Cam
22:44 to be shown doing what activity?
22:46 Adopting.
22:47 Breastfeeding.
22:48 Kissing.
22:49 Correct.
22:50 Yes, Tim.
22:51 Men don't breastfeed.
22:52 Okay, that was really disappointing because that was meant to be my expert topic.
22:54 Time now for Rory and the Brisbane Broncos.
22:57 That's our round.
22:58 The Broncos.
22:59 Oh, okay, we're out.
23:01 Rugby league great Alan Langer capped in the Broncos to four Premiership wins
23:04 playing what position?
23:05 Halfback.
23:06 Halfback.
23:07 Halfback.
23:08 Correct.
23:09 If you want to crack nuts, then keep watching this.
23:11 The Broncos lost to North Queensland Cowboys by how many points?
23:14 It's got to be one.
23:15 One.
23:16 One.
23:17 Would you like one of my nuts?
23:18 Correct.
23:19 That was 100% straight, Red.
23:21 Last set in the expert round, it's Steve and S Club 7.
23:24 Oh, here we go.
23:26 What?
23:27 It's the only thing I know.
23:28 The intro to S Club 7's hit Don't Stop Movin' first directs that you...
23:32 # Don't stop movin' #
23:34 # Everybody groovin' #
23:35 # To the funky, funky beat #
23:36 # To the funky, funky beat #
23:38 Correct.
23:39 Liam, I'm on fire.
23:42 Bradley, Joe and Paul formed a trio with what name?
23:45 S Club 3.
23:46 So did you see this shit show?
23:48 I saw them as a 3, that 3, and then I saw them as a 2 as well.
23:51 And then there was S Club None.
23:53 Nina, you're at the bottom on 10.
23:55 Get over here.
23:56 See ya.
23:59 Bye, Nina.
24:00 Most of the questions go over your head.
24:02 Yeah, Tom, I think I'm a bit too young for this show.
24:05 Nat out.
24:07 She has just embarrassed all of us, Leanne.
24:09 Then it was time for...
24:11 The People's Round.
24:12 We're the people. Let's see what they know.
24:14 Since 2010, the block has been hosted by which trading?
24:17 Scott Camp.
24:18 Yes.
24:19 A kid's book about an inquisitive monkey is curious...
24:21 George.
24:22 Yes.
24:23 At room temperature, one litre of water weighs how many kilograms?
24:26 Oh, no idea.
24:27 One.
24:28 One.
24:29 My pregnant brain can't keep up with all this.
24:31 Alright then, let's skip to the final round.
24:34 The Brisbane Broncos versus S Club Seven.
24:37 Never in a million years did I think that would be a sentence.
24:41 Let's play.
24:42 Hunt!
24:43 Rory. I reckon Rory's going to win him.
24:45 I'm backing Steve.
24:46 I kind of want Steve because he's gone his whole life and hasn't been laid.
24:50 Correct.
24:51 Rory's still in it.
24:53 Correct.
24:54 They're both nudie about what they know.
24:56 According to the characteristics attributed to her on her Hasbro doll packaging,
25:00 what is uniquely Rachel?
25:02 I never owned that doll.
25:03 It's funny to hear you say that with regret.
25:05 I'm going to say fashion.
25:07 Incorrect.
25:08 Oh, no.
25:10 The correct answer is a pierced belly button.
25:12 How random are these questions?
25:14 Correct.
25:15 This is going to go down to the wire, I reckon.
25:17 Rory, you need this.
25:18 If you get this wrong, then Steve, you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion.
25:21 Woo-hoo!
25:22 Rory, on 26 June 2010, in a match against the Parramatta Eels,
25:26 Captain Darren Lockyer broke what NRL record?
25:29 Oh, you're not a fan if you don't know this.
25:31 He became the most capped player in NRL history.
25:35 Ooh.
25:36 Incorrect.
25:37 The correct answer is it had to be with a single club.
25:41 You idiot.
25:42 How do you even all know that?
25:43 I genuinely have no idea.
25:45 That's like the only thing you should know.
25:47 Rory, so disappointing.
25:49 Don't worry, Rory, you're going to get a fricking cup anyway.
25:53 Thanks for playing.
25:54 You know, this show sort of grows on you a bit, doesn't it?
25:58 We've learned to love it.
25:59 We've learned to love it.
26:00 We hated it for a very long time.
26:02 Now it's hard to not like.
26:04 The other day, I had to do the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do as a parent.
26:22 Oh.
26:23 I had to collect a urine sample.
26:25 Do you know how hard it is to collect a urine sample from a toddler?
26:33 How do they tell you they're going to the bathroom?
26:35 They don't.
26:36 Friday on Foxtel, we took a look at a new reality dating show.
26:42 Oh my God.
26:44 How many of these shows can they make?
26:46 Yeah, yeah, I know.
26:47 But this one's got a twist.
26:49 Follow one gorgeous girl.
26:51 Okay.
26:52 With 12 hot boys.
26:53 Okay.
26:54 While hoping to win her heart.
26:55 12 blokes and one girl.
26:57 So got bachelorette.
26:58 No, I said it's got a twist.
27:00 Half of these boys are already in relationships.
27:04 Oh my God.
27:06 This is good.
27:08 Our single gal's mission is to fall for a boy whom she believes to be truly single.
27:13 So she has to find who the genuine guys are?
27:16 Yep, that's right.
27:17 But if a partnered up boy manages to fool her.
27:20 Maybe you are single.
27:21 He'll scoop the cash prize.
27:23 This is kind of a main concept.
27:26 It is literally rewarding people to cheat on their partners.
27:29 They're pretty much.
27:30 Yuck.
27:31 Disgusting.
27:32 Am I a little bit broken for thinking this looks good?
27:35 No, you're right on track.
27:36 This is ready to mingle.
27:38 They are really getting to the bottom of the barrel.
27:40 And that's where the good stuff is.
27:43 We're getting to the crust of the paella here.
27:45 Welcome to Sunny Glorious Devon.
27:48 Devon.
27:49 Devon Sunny Glorious.
27:50 Three days of sunshine a year.
27:51 In many ways it's better than the Bahamas.
27:54 If I can buy your holiday destination at the deli, you don't count.
28:00 Tough break for Strasbourg, isn't it?
28:02 Yeah, and it's rough on Turkey too.
28:04 Anyway, let's meet the star of the show.
28:06 Ready to meet the sucker.
28:08 It's Sophia.
28:10 Tell me I'm the queen.
28:12 Hey.
28:14 You can see right up her dress.
28:16 Geez, we've nearly seen what she had for breakfast.
28:17 Can we replay that?
28:18 Okay.
28:19 She's gorgeous, isn't she?
28:21 She's absolutely stunning.
28:23 Thank you.
28:24 How is she single?
28:26 You must be a bitch because I don't know how you haven't got someone.
28:29 But you found someone.
28:31 You know you're going to pay for that comment, don't you?
28:33 Let's see our guys who are ready to mingle.
28:35 Let's try to see if we can work out who's the single dude.
28:38 Let's go.
28:40 Oh, hello.
28:42 Hello, hello, hello.
28:44 My name's Hakim and my job is a fitness coach.
28:46 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
28:49 He's got abs like me.
28:50 He's single for sure.
28:52 No, he has a girlfriend.
28:53 Oh, Hakim's got four or five girls on the run.
28:55 Two girls for every bicep.
28:57 Thank you.
28:58 Joining Hakim is Malcolm.
29:00 Working.
29:01 I should be falling over and embarrass myself.
29:02 Malcolm has a girlfriend because he did not pick that outfit for himself.
29:05 I thought he'd peacock a little bit.
29:06 Liberace.
29:07 I love that jacket.
29:08 As well as Louis H.
29:10 He's ugly enough to have a girlfriend.
29:11 100%.
29:12 A guy like that doesn't get the confidence to go on a show like this
29:15 without the backing of a girlfriend.
29:16 And then Louis A.
29:18 Do you think we're going to go through every single person on the show?
29:20 Yeah, but...
29:21 Hurry up and mingle.
29:24 OK, OK.
29:25 It's time for a game.
29:27 Let the games begin.
29:29 Let the sex begin, you mean.
29:30 OK, let's try to keep things classy.
29:33 Yeah, thanks, other VO lady.
29:35 Bow.
29:36 Erection.
29:37 Oh, my gosh.
29:38 Pony.
29:39 This is the most crass game of charades ever.
29:41 T-bagging.
29:42 Oh.
29:43 Yuck.
29:44 What?
29:45 T-bagging.
29:46 What?
29:47 You don't know what it is?
29:48 Tell me.
29:49 No, like she said, let's try to keep it classy.
29:51 You honestly want me to tell you what it is?
29:53 Yeah, tell me.
29:54 Don't.
29:55 It's when you're...
29:56 Blinking your chin.
29:57 [laughter]
30:00 I was trying to picture you'd have to be gum like that for the...
30:03 Moving on.
30:05 Thank you.
30:06 Anyway, Sophia picks the three best performers for a private chat.
30:10 I'll take you to my pad.
30:12 Honestly, no Asians there because you would have taken your shoes off.
30:15 But she only has eyes for one man.
30:18 Hakeem, would you stay?
30:19 I feel like I'd like to get to know you a bit more.
30:21 Sure, absolutely.
30:22 Oh, Hakeem gets him one-on-one time.
30:25 What's going on?
30:26 Oh.
30:27 Smooth.
30:28 Did he just do the...
30:30 You coming in live?
30:31 Hey.
30:32 I mean, it's getting a bit warmer.
30:35 Oh, she's into him.
30:36 Look at those eyes.
30:38 He's hot.
30:39 He's hot.
30:40 Hook line and sink up.
30:42 I feel like he's got a mature, confident vibe.
30:45 Nah, he's got a girlfriend.
30:46 He is so in a relationship.
30:49 Yeah, he's way too smooth.
30:51 He's playing her.
30:52 Once you have a girlfriend, your confidence goes.
30:56 Well, let's find out.
30:58 All right, guys.
31:00 Cat's out the back.
31:02 I'm actually taken.
31:03 Oh.
31:04 I told you.
31:05 I knew it.
31:06 I knew it.
31:07 I said it.
31:08 Hakeem, you dirty dog.
31:12 This is my girlfriend, Naomi.
31:14 Naomi, like, why do you let him do this?
31:17 For 100 Gs, straight on the mortgage.
31:19 He would get in the car and drive to this location
31:21 and drag me up on my head.
31:22 A chance to be in on the same page.
31:25 I just wanted to know my limit, that's all.
31:27 $250,000?
31:29 $500,000?
31:31 A million dollars?
31:33 What about if you walked around with no penis anymore?
31:35 [screams]
31:36 [music]
31:38 Oh, thank God it's finished.
31:40 I think that's the worst TV reality show
31:42 we've ever seen in our life.
31:43 Is it entertaining?
31:44 Yes.
31:45 Would we watch again?
31:47 Yes.
31:48 Oh, just when you thought there weren't enough dating shows
31:50 on TV, they bring a new one and you fall deeply,
31:53 deeply in love with it.
31:55 [music]
32:03 In Melbourne, Lee and Keith are celebrating
32:05 their football club's finals win.
32:07 Da-da-da-da-da.
32:09 28 years we've been waiting and we went crazy.
32:11 You know, eventually I'm going to have to wash this
32:13 because I don't know how many weeks.
32:14 I'm not taking it off.
32:15 This is my lucky top.
32:16 I'm going to keep this on until we win the premiership.
32:18 Jesus Christ, I'm all excited.
32:21 When I first met Samantha as a party,
32:23 she introduced herself to me as Annika Decker.
32:26 She was calling herself Leila.
32:28 Emily Escobaris.
32:29 Leila Evans.
32:30 Harper Hernandez.
32:31 Coco Palmer.
32:32 Oh my God, how many bloody names can you have?
32:34 This sounds like catfish.
32:35 Oh, I know what this is.
32:37 Sunday on Seven, we watch the start of a new doco series
32:41 about one of Australia's most fascinating con artists.
32:44 Con girl.
32:46 This is that con woman, Samantha as a party.
32:49 Like a fraudster.
32:50 The series picks up Samantha's story in Dublin.
32:53 2013.
32:54 Two young uniformed guards came across a young female
32:58 who presented in a distressed state.
33:01 She didn't speak. She indicated that she was 14 years of age,
33:05 numerically with the fingers.
33:07 14?
33:08 So she was just a kid at this point.
33:09 Fearing for the well-being of the child,
33:11 they decided to take her into protective custody.
33:14 They all just assumed she'd been traumatised.
33:17 Oh.
33:18 The Irish police have spent the last few weeks
33:20 liaising with authorities across Europe
33:23 to try to identify the young girl, but to no avail.
33:26 Release of a photograph was really our only option.
33:30 Oh!
33:31 What?
33:32 She looks so familiar.
33:33 We were starting to get some calls in from Australia.
33:36 Oh, someone in Australia knew her?
33:38 All saying the same name.
33:40 And that name was...
33:42 Samantha?
33:43 Samantha as a party.
33:45 Samantha as a party.
33:47 I think she's actually come into my workplace.
33:49 And I remember the lawyers at the time calling the police
33:52 and Googling who she was.
33:53 So you know a con girl?
33:54 I think I do.
33:55 The mystery woman was identified as 25-year-old Australian.
33:58 25!
33:59 Wow, she lied about her age.
34:01 Reports suggest that the woman has numerous identities
34:03 and is known to police in New South Wales.
34:06 Why is she doing this?
34:08 All we know is that she's fooled a lot of people
34:11 and she's hurt a lot of people all around the world.
34:14 One of her victims was Hope.
34:16 Hope's story.
34:17 Oh, God, what did she do to Hope?
34:19 Samantha was posing as a schoolgirl named Emily.
34:22 I'm 16 years old and Emily's the first friend I make at TAFE.
34:25 Emily, she's going in.
34:26 I think this is where the lies start.
34:28 She's a gymnast with a Russian background
34:30 and at the time apparently she was the number one
34:33 under-16 world champion.
34:34 Oh, shit, brother.
34:36 I used to go on overseas trips and tell people
34:38 I played footy for Fremantle too.
34:40 Emily has a Facebook fan page for her gymnastics.
34:43 She has quite a few likes and she has a lot of photos.
34:46 But you can't see her face at all.
34:48 Oh, she's like catfishing people in real life.
34:50 So Emily went to Paris to see her family.
34:53 No way, she actually went to Paris.
34:55 I saw a post on her Facebook gymnast page.
34:58 The article stated that her parents had passed away
35:01 in a double murder-suicide.
35:03 Oh, my God.
35:04 With her dad killing her twin sister, mother and then himself.
35:08 So is this true?
35:10 Or she created a fake article.
35:12 Who knows?
35:13 We were shocked. Her family's gone.
35:15 She's an orphan.
35:16 Like, you want to help her. She was 15.
35:19 This is nuts. This story is crazy.
35:21 My parents made the decision to offer to adopt her
35:24 and make her part of our family.
35:25 Oh, my God, they're going to adopt her.
35:27 What?
35:28 So she's looking for attention.
35:29 Or to be part of a family.
35:31 It's actually a little bit sad.
35:32 But it wasn't long before Samantha's fake life began to unravel.
35:36 Emily takes her birth certificate into Garroway Senior High School.
35:40 But the school secretary calls my dad and says there's a problem.
35:43 They think it's been forged.
35:44 Oh!
35:46 Saying that Emily's not who she says she is.
35:49 Emily Scabarius is actually Samantha Azapati
35:52 and she's 23, not 15.
35:54 Oh!
35:55 She is a massive con artist.
35:57 She is admitted to Greylands Hospital,
35:59 which is a psychiatric hospital here in Perth, for six weeks.
36:02 And then she moves on to something else.
36:04 Wait, there's another story.
36:06 Backpacking in Australia was the best time of my life.
36:10 Then Emi meets Annika.
36:12 So she's Annika now.
36:13 She was like, "Well, I do have to tell you something."
36:15 Uh-oh.
36:16 "I am the daughter of Interpol agents."
36:19 Dude!
36:20 What?
36:21 Spies. Oh, my God.
36:23 So straightaway she gets in by giving herself some form of status.
36:27 It makes people want to be her friend.
36:29 That's right.
36:30 She got an email.
36:32 She said, "Oh, no.
36:34 "They have all of your information."
36:36 They have her information?
36:38 My family's names, their addresses, their phone numbers.
36:41 It had passwords of mine, legit.
36:43 What?
36:44 This girl just came to Oz for a holiday.
36:46 Now she's being caught up in this conspiracy.
36:49 It's like, "How do I get myself out?"
36:51 And she basically was like...
36:53 "You don't.
36:55 "Now we have to stick together on the run."
36:58 What?
36:59 Oh, my God.
37:00 It's nuts!
37:01 Oh!
37:04 I need to see what happens next.
37:06 I love stuff like this, and it's happening in our own backyard.
37:09 I'm hooked.
37:11 #
37:12 Please don't do that again. No, no, no.
37:26 I can see a big bit of skin.
37:28 And the thing is, I get terrified of taking the skin off my blisters.
37:33 Yoshi, can you take it off?
37:35 Oh, he's licking it. Don't lick it, Yoshi.
37:38 Don't, cos you lick me later.
37:40 What?
37:41 I like that, mate. It's got like that.
37:44 No problem, mate. You and Yoshi do your thing.
37:46 This week on Paramount+, we were entertained by...
37:52 Oh, yes!
37:53 My favourite!
37:57 This is the inspired unemployed!
37:59 So these guys are like internet sensations.
38:04 That's right. The prank show is hosted by four mates
38:08 who used to be tradies and found fame online.
38:11 These guys are awesome.
38:14 Today we're check-out champs working in the register at the local supermarket.
38:18 But we're going to suck at it, because we have to say and do everything we're told by the others.
38:22 If you refuse, you lose.
38:23 I reckon we're going to get fired.
38:25 So they're doing, like, practical jokes?
38:27 Yeah, yeah. Let's go, champs.
38:29 You can let me out.
38:30 Yeah!
38:31 It's already funny.
38:34 Challenge one, check-out champ.
38:36 This supermarket has been set with hidden cameras.
38:40 The customers don't know what's about to happen, and neither do we.
38:44 How you going?
38:45 Dom scanned two things and go, "I'm going to need a price check on this."
38:47 So he's got an earpiece and all his mates are telling him what to do.
38:50 I just need a quick price check. One second.
38:52 What are they going to make him do?
38:53 Price check on extra small condoms.
38:55 He's got to say it.
38:56 Price check on extra small condoms.
39:00 Extra small condoms!
39:02 For this gentleman in front of me.
39:04 For this gentleman in front of me, yes.
39:06 Look at the guy behind him.
39:07 This bloke's saying, "What's going on?"
39:09 More expensive than I thought.
39:11 Straight face.
39:12 Straight face.
39:13 More expensive than I thought, that's why.
39:15 On card, was it?
39:19 Look at him.
39:22 Don't you find this funny?
39:24 No.
39:25 It reminds me of boys in Year 9.
39:29 Alright Liam, you're going to just say, "I've just got a quick customer survey for you."
39:33 I've just got a quick customer survey for you here.
39:35 Sure.
39:36 How was the service today?
39:37 How was the service today?
39:38 Yeah, good.
39:39 Would you describe me as handsome, flirty or vritable?
39:42 Say it.
39:46 Say it.
39:47 Would you describe me as...
39:49 Oh!
39:50 Say it.
39:51 Say it.
39:53 Oh no, sorry, that's not the question. Never mind.
39:58 Fail.
39:59 Fail.
40:00 Challenge 2.
40:03 It's been a speed dating round.
40:04 Nice to meet you.
40:05 Before we get started, I should tell you...
40:07 Before we get started, I should tell you...
40:09 Oh no, this is going to be bad.
40:11 I'm a virgin.
40:12 I am a virgin.
40:14 Oh really?
40:15 What would you do if you were here then?
40:18 I only hurt people for one more day.
40:19 Well, I'm hoping for only one more day.
40:21 Do you mind if I sing for you real quick?
40:25 Oh.
40:26 You're so pretty.
40:29 Oh my God, it's so awkward.
40:31 I want to bury myself.
40:32 I want to dig a hole and just jump in it.
40:34 He's excited.
40:36 He's going to get rid.
40:37 No, no.
40:39 Losing his virginity.
40:40 This is bad.
40:42 Maybe.
40:43 Oh, thumbs up, absolutely.
40:47 This thing...
40:48 No.
40:49 ...is known as the shock device.
40:52 Oh, be kind to me, would you?
40:54 They're going to put like an electric dog collar on him.
40:56 Be electric out there.
40:58 Hello, how are you?
41:00 Good, thanks, how are you?
41:01 Zap him.
41:02 Zap him.
41:03 He knows it's coming.
41:04 Ah!
41:05 They're tasing him.
41:06 [laughter]
41:12 Look at everyone staring.
41:13 What about now?
41:14 Hit him.
41:15 Go.
41:16 Oh, do what?
41:18 Oh no.
41:20 Oh Lord.
41:21 Is that your hubby?
41:22 Sorry.
41:23 Ah!
41:24 Sorry.
41:25 Oh my gosh, that was brutal.
41:28 Liam, you are today's loser.
41:30 Oh, what does Liam have to do?
41:31 So it's time for your punishment.
41:33 And they can't say no to the punishment.
41:35 They brought you to Home of the Venues, Magic Man's Sydney show.
41:39 Strip show.
41:40 No.
41:41 I tell you what, if you're going to get punished like that,
41:43 you'd make sure you get thumbs up every time.
41:45 Get that shit off, brother.
41:46 Take it off.
41:47 Take it off, take it off.
41:49 Take your pants off.
41:51 Take them off.
41:52 Oh, yes!
41:54 Whoa!
41:55 Ooh!
41:56 He's really getting into it.
41:58 All right, you're right.
41:59 That actually was quite a good move.
42:01 What is he doing?
42:02 Top him with his ass.
42:03 Oh, that is too funny.
42:06 Oh my God.
42:07 Give the man a job.
42:09 [cheering]
42:11 You know what's wholesome about this show?
42:12 It's just good, everyday boys having super fun.
42:15 Four hot guys.
42:16 Yep.
42:17 Making fun of each other.
42:18 Yep, and very little clothes.
42:19 Tick, tick, tick.
42:20 That is probably the best thing I've seen on TV in a long time.
42:24 [music]
42:34 You know, if I was a bloke, I reckon my balls would hang on the left.
42:39 You know that?
42:40 It suits you to be a bloke because your brain's down there anyway.
42:43 [laughs]
42:45 It's 7am.
42:47 Tuesday on Foxtel, we watched a new drama series.
42:50 This is you, Jad, in the morning.
42:52 Selfie, send it to some random chick.
42:54 That's definitely you.
42:55 With my green smoothie, yeah.
42:57 The Lovers.
42:59 Oh, I've read about this.
43:01 This is Irish, and Irish shows are always good.
43:04 Hey you.
43:05 This is Seamus, a well-known TV presenter.
43:08 Okay, so he's famous.
43:09 And he's travelling to Belfast for a new project.
43:12 Belfast.
43:13 Belfast, the fighting city.
43:14 Straight out of Belfast.
43:15 Irish rap.
43:16 [laughs]
43:18 This is Janet.
43:19 She works at a supermarket.
43:21 [rap music]
43:24 Sprung.
43:25 Damaged goods.
43:27 [laughs]
43:30 I know people that used to do that at the supermarket when I was 14.
43:33 Really?
43:34 Yeah, me.
43:35 [laughs]
43:36 Janet.
43:37 You're fired.
43:38 Stop everything you're doing.
43:39 The swearing, the lateness, the staining.
43:41 I don't swear.
43:42 You swore at Jason.
43:43 He provoked me.
43:44 Wait, what did he say?
43:45 Good morning.
43:46 [laughs]
43:48 And you said, "Suck a dick."
43:51 [laughs]
43:52 Take the rest of the day off.
43:53 Come in tomorrow with a new attitude.
43:55 I like this G.
43:56 Yeah, this is going to be good already.
43:57 Meanwhile, Seamus is on his first day of filming.
44:00 Are these new pages?
44:01 I thought you'd missed some important points.
44:03 I get it.
44:04 Indeed are you.
44:05 Keen to make a mark.
44:06 But, hey, I've been doing this a long time.
44:08 God.
44:09 [laughs]
44:10 It's full of himself.
44:11 Let me try something, okay?
44:12 Oh, he's going to do something real shit.
44:14 Wikipedia defines unemployment as the situation
44:17 of actively looking for employment
44:19 whilst not currently being employed.
44:23 Like these lads.
44:25 Jesus!
44:26 Oh, no, well, I won't pay for you.
44:27 Please have it all back.
44:28 That's what happens when you patronise the young.
44:32 [shouting]
44:33 Now run.
44:34 [music]
44:37 Oh, he's going to go into her house.
44:40 And then they're going to become lovers.
44:41 Oh, yeah.
44:42 Maybe.
44:43 But before that, the story takes a dark turn.
44:48 [gasps]
44:49 She's got a sawn-off shotgun.
44:51 But he's going to come straight over that fence.
44:54 Help me!
44:55 [shouting]
44:57 Oh, shit.
44:59 Oh, she accidentally saved him.
45:01 You saved my life.
45:02 You saved hers.
45:03 You saved mine.
45:04 There you go.
45:05 Prick.
45:06 [laughs]
45:07 Do you really not know who I am?
45:09 No.
45:10 There, she's deflating his bubble.
45:12 You know, I don't really follow politics.
45:14 Oh, that's probably why you haven't heard of me, then.
45:15 Probably because you're not really famous.
45:17 Yeah, but I am quite famous.
45:18 You're not famous like Charlotte Crowes,
45:19 but here's Desi Solomon.
45:20 Who are they?
45:22 Geordie Shore.
45:23 I think these guys are perfect.
45:25 She's just going to level him out.
45:26 Like, you're just another bare bum in the shower.
45:28 In a dangerous neighbourhood, Janet invites Seamus to stay the night.
45:32 So do I have to worry about an irate husband coming home?
45:35 My husband's dead.
45:37 Oh, shit.
45:38 That's why she wants to kill herself.
45:40 So how did he die?
45:41 It was a sex game gone wrong.
45:43 No.
45:44 What?
45:45 She's just bullshitting.
45:46 He choked on a dildo.
45:47 [laughs]
45:48 Don't laugh because you can choke on a dildo.
45:50 [fart noise]
45:51 [laughs]
45:52 Choke.
45:53 [laughs]
45:54 This is too good.
45:55 What a legend.
45:56 He left me for another woman.
45:58 Oh, he's not even dead.
45:59 [laughs]
46:00 That was a reason to keep on living.
46:02 [laughs]
46:03 The next morning, Seamus is rattled.
46:05 He doesn't want to go outside.
46:07 I'm just a bit nervous.
46:08 He's a different person around her.
46:10 He's real.
46:11 I made up this wee song and I sang it to myself whenever I feel nervous.
46:14 Go on, let's hear it then.
46:15 Don't be nervous.
46:17 Nerves are for dickheads.
46:19 So if you're nervous, that makes you a dickhead.
46:23 So don't be...
46:26 Nervous.
46:27 Nervous.
46:28 [laughs]
46:30 I love it.
46:31 I'm going to sing it next time I'm nervous.
46:32 You're not worrying anymore?
46:34 [sniffs]
46:35 They love each other.
46:39 Look at that.
46:40 That's the look of love.
46:41 He saw her vulnerability and now she saw his.
46:44 It's going to be hot and heavy with East Coast.
46:46 Good morning.
46:48 Oh, she's in a good mood.
46:49 She said good morning.
46:50 Fruit, not chocolate.
46:53 And she's paying for it.
46:55 They're all worried.
46:56 They're like, "What the hell's going on?"
46:57 [gasps]
47:02 There he is.
47:03 Oh, no!
47:04 Oh, he has a girlfriend.
47:06 That's not cool.
47:08 Why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend?
47:10 Send it, send it, send it.
47:11 Don't send it, don't send it, don't send it.
47:13 Send it.
47:14 Do you ever stop to think what you've written
47:17 and still hit the send button anyway?
47:19 Better message.
47:24 Jealousy never wins.
47:25 He's going to...
47:27 No replay record?
47:29 No.
47:30 Oh!
47:32 He's cheating you.
47:34 Don't you love that?
47:35 He's cheating on his girlfriend.
47:37 Do you reckon that's cheating?
47:39 No, not yet.
47:40 Back in Belfast next week, slash episode two.
47:45 If I was you, girl, I'd go and get waxed.
47:48 I'd get everything done.
47:50 Oh, wow.
47:52 That's really good.
47:55 Oh, I'm so invested in those two.
47:57 Now we have to watch the next one.
47:58 Yes, please.
47:59 Yes, please.
48:00 Oh.
48:01 [music]
48:04 [music]
48:07 [music]
48:11 [music]
48:14 you