Caleb Pressley | Sundae Conversation
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00:00 I show speed.
00:02 How you doing?
00:02 Your fans are peeping Toms?
00:04 What do you mean?
00:05 They sit outside your house and watch you.
00:07 What?
00:13 How many of your fans are peeping Toms?
00:15 And how many of your fans are peeping moms?
00:19 If you know what I'm saying.
00:20 What do you mean?
00:20 They're not peeping.
00:22 What are you saying?
00:23 You like cougars?
00:24 This is not really what I aim for.
00:26 You know what I mean?
00:27 You like lions.
00:28 Like, what kind of girl is that?
00:29 Oh, it's not a girl.
00:30 [SLAP]
00:31 [GROANS]
00:33 Shit.
00:34 Fuck.
00:35 God damn, sorry.
00:38 In the NBA, it helps if you're tall.
00:41 In sumo wrestling, it helps if you're Asian.
00:44 Right.
00:45 No, you're fat.
00:48 In streaming, does it help to be a virgin?
00:50 No.
00:52 Why do you have to be a-- no.
00:54 So you're saying all virgins are streamers?
00:55 No, no, no.
00:56 I'm saying does it help?
00:57 Yes, it does help.
00:58 It does.
00:59 Why is that?
01:00 Because, you know, you're horny, you know?
01:02 And like, you're feening something.
01:04 Clint Ebald is horny.
01:05 Yeah, you're horny?
01:06 Yeah, of course.
01:07 He's a boner right now.
01:08 No, he doesn't.
01:09 He's not a boner.
01:10 He was watching a kid stream, and he got punched in the face.
01:14 Was it because he was in the bathroom?
01:17 I don't-- what are you talking about?
01:20 You're just saying spouting shit.
01:22 If you don't want to answer, we can move on.
01:24 [SIGHS]
01:25 [BARKING]
01:26 You speak dog?
01:29 Oh, my god.
01:31 Yes, yes, yes.
01:32 What about clog?
01:34 A what?
01:34 You clog toilets?
01:35 How many times does a real gangster
01:40 clog a toilet a week?
01:41 All right, so what's the, like, context?
01:46 What's the conclusion of this question you're asking?
01:49 Like, what is the purpose of it?
01:51 I guess just people who want to find out how many times
01:53 they should try to clog a toilet in one week.
01:55 OK, four to five, or four to five times.
01:57 And how many times in their own toilet?
01:59 [SIGHS]
02:00 I don't-- two, two times.
02:02 That's fair.
02:02 Thank you.
02:03 Is it scary?
02:04 Is streaming scary?
02:06 Yeah, it can be.
02:07 Because you could say the wrong thing.
02:09 Yeah, you're done.
02:10 Anything can happen.
02:11 You can-- that's a good-- you know, a lot of things,
02:13 yeah, can happen.
02:15 You could show the wrong thing.
02:17 Yeah.
02:19 Yeah, you can.
02:19 Has anything like that ever happened to you?
02:22 [SIGHS]
02:23 Mm, something, yeah.
02:28 Yeah, something, yeah.
02:29 Like, yeah.
02:29 When you accidentally flashed a camera, was it on purpose?
02:32 No, it was not on purpose.
02:33 Do you think I will flash my--
02:36 I said accidentally.
02:39 Yeah, you said was it on purpose.
02:40 I said when you accidentally did it.
02:42 Oh, OK, you did say that.
02:43 OK, my fault.
02:44 So was it on purpose?
02:45 You just-- you just said when I accidentally showed him
02:49 my penis, was it on purpose.
02:50 Right.
02:50 It was an accident.
02:51 OK.
02:52 Yeah, that was a hard time for me, you know?
02:53 It was hard?
02:54 Yeah.
02:55 God damn it!
02:56 It was a hard time for me.
03:03 Why is it even illegal anyways?
03:05 What?
03:05 Whether you cover them or not, wieners are around.
03:08 Yeah.
03:09 Why is it illegal?
03:11 Wait, why is that even a law?
03:12 I just realized that.
03:14 Why do we have to cover our penises?
03:17 What do you think the original reason for that law even is?
03:20 Too many people getting sunburned?
03:21 Why not just rub sun lotion on your wiener?
03:28 I show speed.
03:31 Don't you think it's a slippery slope?
03:34 What's next?
03:35 What if the government says we have
03:36 to cover our mouth and nose?
03:38 Then what?
03:40 It wouldn't--
03:41 No one would do that.
03:43 Yeah.
03:45 Yeah.
03:45 What is this?
03:49 A fruit.
03:50 What is this?
03:51 An apple.
03:52 But it's not a computer.
03:54 What do you mean it's not a computer?
03:56 It's a fruit.
03:57 Right.
03:57 Now what is it?
04:00 It's a fruit.
04:01 It's my apple.
04:04 Wait, what in the fuck is--
04:06 like, are you real?
04:07 I am, dude.
04:08 What the fuck is happening?
04:09 You want to share it?
04:11 No.
04:12 Yes.
04:18 Did we all just become brothers in Christ?
04:21 Oh my god.
04:24 Your hero, Cristiano Ronaldo.
04:28 Yes, yes, Ronaldo.
04:29 What do you say to people who say their hero is
04:31 the original Cristiano?
04:33 Who's the original?
04:34 Jesus Christ.
04:35 What do you mean?
04:36 What do I have to say?
04:37 That's what I meant.
04:38 What do you have to say?
04:39 Oh my god, bro.
04:41 In the United States, we say soccer.
04:44 But abroad, they--
04:46 I don't know what they say because they
04:48 don't know the language.
04:49 They say football.
04:51 They say football.
04:52 You like to travel?
04:53 Yes, I do.
04:54 You like to travel?
04:55 I'm not really originally--
04:56 You like to travel?
04:57 Yes.
04:57 You're a legal migrant.
05:00 What do you mean I'm a legal migrant?
05:01 You are.
05:02 Fuck is-- what do you mean I'm a legal migrant?
05:05 You legally migrate around the world.
05:07 Is that racist?
05:08 I think so.
05:08 You like to travel?
05:13 Yeah.
05:14 Have you been to New York?
05:16 Yeah, I've been to New York.
05:17 Really?
05:17 Yeah, I have, one time.
05:19 What about New England?
05:20 Have you been to New England?
05:23 That's a football team.
05:25 He's taking a piss.
05:27 Why do all these places have to have new in it?
05:29 You mind if we do a new segment presented by Raising Canes?
05:32 Yeah, go ahead.
05:33 OK, I'm going to say a new thing,
05:35 and you tell me if you like it.
05:37 Got it?
05:38 Depicks.
05:39 New Depicks?
05:42 What is that?
05:42 New Depicks.
05:44 I don't know what that is.
05:45 You can move on.
05:45 Why are you talking like codes?
05:47 Like, you talking like syllables.
05:49 Do you want me to stop talking in syllables?
05:51 I will.
05:52 No, like you talk like in language arts.
05:56 You like Lenny Balls?
05:57 He's a weird guy.
06:00 If TikTok takes over and we become the China-ited States
06:03 of America--
06:04 If what?
06:05 If TikTok does take over and we become the China-ited States
06:08 of America--
06:09 China States of America.
06:10 What will you eat?
06:12 What would I eat?
06:16 China's-- God, I can't.
06:21 Oh, my brain.
06:23 Oh, you massage it so fucking well, bro.
06:28 God damn, I just can't.
06:29 You want one from Lenny Balls?
06:30 He's the most misogynist guy I know.
06:33 Yeah, do it, please.
06:34 What?
06:35 Massage my ass.
06:35 OK.
06:43 China States become the China States of America.
06:47 I eat rice and--
06:48 rice and chicken, I guess.
06:55 [MUSIC PLAYING]
06:59 (dramatic music)