• 7 months ago
Caleb Pressley | Sundae Conversation
Transcript
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 - Are we live here?
00:03 - Sketch.
00:05 - Brother.
00:05 - What's up, brother?
00:06 - What's up, sister?
00:07 - When you think about the word brother,
00:11 the actual word, how would you break it down?
00:13 The etymology of the word.
00:15 Do you mind if we do a new segment
00:17 presented by Raisin Canes?
00:18 - Yes, please.
00:19 Yes, please.
00:20 Broth.
00:24 - This is easy.
00:25 - Liquid.
00:26 - Right?
00:28 - Liquid chicken.
00:29 - Liquid chicken.
00:29 - No.
00:33 - This is easy.
00:34 - No.
00:34 - This is hard.
00:35 - No, I'm not a hard.
00:36 - You're a hardy man.
00:37 - I am as soft as baby shit, brother.
00:38 Don't put that on me.
00:39 Flip it the other way around.
00:40 R-E, real estate agent.
00:42 Real estate, that's what I come from.
00:43 - Real estate?
00:44 - Come from there.
00:45 - Shut up.
00:46 - Homegrown.
00:47 - I said shut up.
00:48 You used to sell real estate?
00:51 - I used to sell a thing or two.
00:52 - Would you sell land or houses?
00:54 - Land first, houses next.
00:56 - If you're looking for land for real estate,
00:58 you're looking for land and there's a mountain on it,
01:01 if there's mountains on it, is that good or bad?
01:04 - If there's two mountains, it's always good.
01:06 Twin peaks, brother, twin peaks.
01:08 - You're talking some boobs now.
01:09 What do you think about these ladies
01:12 who have fake mountains?
01:14 Is that okay with you?
01:17 - Love natural beauty.
01:18 For me, it's about sightseeing.
01:19 Sometimes the peak isn't as good as the journey.
01:22 It's about the journey.
01:23 - Fake mountains, is that whole milk?
01:26 - No, there's no way.
01:28 I don't know how that works, dude.
01:30 They pull it through like a balloon animal or something.
01:35 I have no clue what goes on there.
01:36 I thought they were like hockey pucks or something.
01:38 - Which means?
01:40 - Pretty solid, you can't go through it,
01:41 probably gotta go around it.
01:43 I don't know, do they have Bluetooth
01:44 or something in those things now?
01:45 They're probably pretty high tech.
01:47 Some of them now look like missile silos.
01:49 Like they just open up and they probably come out
01:51 and they have two guns coming out.
01:53 - Were you bottle fed?
01:54 - Nope.
01:55 Mother loved me.
01:57 Loved me so much, she popped that thing out wherever.
02:00 - When there's a woman in public nursing her child,
02:04 sometimes Glynnie will look and stare in a sexual way.
02:09 Is that weird?
02:10 - Is it definitely a little too much there?
02:15 - It's never happened.
02:18 - Why is he turning red if it's never happened?
02:20 - That is definitely a red flag there.
02:23 Writing's on the wall.
02:24 - Fake news.
02:25 - A little truth in everything,
02:25 that's what I like to say.
02:28 - Do you mind if we do a new segment
02:29 presented by Raisin Canes?
02:31 - Love the chicken, love the coleslaw.
02:33 Little freaky guy here.
02:36 - Are you a freak?
02:37 You're a freak, huh?
02:38 - I can get up there?
02:41 - What does that mean, you can get up there?
02:44 It's a bunk bed?
02:45 - Oh no, no, not a bunk bed, it's just short strokes.
02:47 It's more like a jackhammer.
02:48 It's like I'm trying to break through concrete or something.
02:51 It's like, you know, have you ever been in your hotel room
02:54 and room service comes by, a couple of those?
02:58 That's what I'm like.
02:59 You know, pretty quick.
03:03 Short rest.
03:05 - Blue balls, did you say you're a freak?
03:06 - No, very vanilla.
03:08 - How would you describe your freakiness
03:09 if you had to put it in hotel terms?
03:10 - In hotel terms?
03:12 Fuck, that's a good one.
03:13 - It's like a bellhop.
03:15 - Maybe the shower door closing once.
03:17 You know, the ones that slide across?
03:20 Quick shower.
03:21 - That's really it.
03:24 - I don't know.
03:26 That's a loaded question,
03:27 you're really thinking about many hotel--
03:29 - I'm just asking.
03:31 - Reservable, sorry, thank you.
03:33 - Is that not a fair question?
03:34 - I think any question.
03:35 - To be good at a video game, what do you have to do?
03:39 Fast fingers?
03:40 - Fast fingers, fast reactions.
03:42 It's all about upstairs, upstairs.
03:45 From here up, I'm a gamer.
03:47 Here down, I'm just a regular dude.
03:53 - How do you think you're gonna die?
03:55 - Probably, hopefully not a plane crash,
03:56 but that's how I envision it every time I fly.
03:59 That's why I usually drink on a flight.
04:02 - How'd you get here?
04:03 - A plane.
04:05 - Are we talking to a drunk sketch right now?
04:07 - Drunk sketch?
04:08 There's nothing sketch, okay.
04:09 I'll tell you what, I hand over my liquor,
04:12 you know, like a grown man.
04:14 - I'm trying to just do a timeline of your life.
04:16 So you were born,
04:18 then you went to college,
04:22 then you went to real estate,
04:25 and you did this, and you live in?
04:28 - Inner city, that's Houston, brother.
04:30 Rage down to the bone.
04:32 - Do you mind if we do a new segment
04:35 sponsored by Raisin Canes?
04:39 - I was gonna say, drop it on me.
04:41 - You don't mind?
04:42 - I love it.
04:44 - This new segment is called,
04:45 Is That Houston?
04:47 Or Is That The Middle East?
04:48 - It's awesome.
04:50 - Lots of oil.
04:51 (suspenseful music)
04:53 - Houston, and the Middle East, both of them.
04:55 - Lots of weapons.
04:56 - That is 44 acres home, Houston, Texas.
05:02 - Never won the AFC Championship.
05:04 - That's a pretty low blow there.
05:09 - Houston or the Middle East?
05:10 - That's a pretty low blow there, but that's Houston.
05:12 - Nope, that was the Middle East.
05:13 - Okay.
05:14 - What would you do to win the Super Bowl?
05:16 - I don't know, I don't know.
05:20 Lots of things, probably too many things.
05:22 Probably too many things that put me
05:24 in the same category as Deshaun, but I don't know.
05:27 This is probably bad reference.
05:28 Okay, no, just kidding.
05:30 Cut that, just kidding.
05:31 Don't cut anything, keep everything.
05:33 Okay, sorry for clapping, sorry for screaming.
05:35 I don't know how this is, I'm getting,
05:40 okay, we're good, I'm good.
05:42 - Why are you looking at me like that?
05:43 - I'm not looking at you with anything.
05:44 If I wanted to look at you sideways,
05:46 I'd give you the side eye.
05:47 (dramatic music)
05:50 - Praise God, brother, praise God!
05:54 [BLANK_AUDIO]