The Bank Heist Kevin Hart Part 1
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00 [Music]
00:07 Alright, listen up!
00:11 I'm about to give you your names.
00:17 You're Mr. Brown, Mr. Blind, Mr. White, Mr. Blue, Mr. Pink.
00:23 Wait a minute. Why am I Mr. Pink?
00:26 Because I said so.
00:28 Why can't we just choose our own colors?
00:30 I'll tell you why you can't choose your own color.
00:32 Because I'm the one that sat up all night trying to figure out who was going to be who, according to the way it was going to go down.
00:36 Now that I know how it's going down, I know who's who. And you're Mr. Pink.
00:39 It's just a fake name, man.
00:42 Man, it's easy for you to say. You're Mr. White. Your name is cool.
00:45 Why don't we just trade?
00:47 Shit. You think I'm going to let a grown man call me Mr. Pink? That's a man law.
00:51 See what I'm saying? It sounds gay.
00:53 Mr. Brown sounds like Mr. Shit.
00:55 You know what? If it's alright with you, I'll just be Mr. Fuchsia.
00:58 Mr. Fuchsia is gay.
01:00 Hey, hey, hey, hey!
01:02 You're going to be Mr. Pink, okay? You're Mr. Brown.
01:05 I don't care if your name sound like shit or smell like shit.
01:07 You're Mr. Brown. You're Mr. Pink. And you're Mr. Brown.
01:10 I'm not going to keep telling you. You're Mr. Pink, man.
01:12 I sat up all night. You hear me? Mr. Pink.
01:16 It's the way I figured it out.
01:18 Now, what's your name?
01:19 What? Tell me.
01:20 Mr. Pink, man.
01:21 But you know, I prefer Mr. Fuchsia.
01:23 Come on, man. Just call yourself Mr. Pink.
01:26 Now, can we get on with this shit?
01:28 What the fuck is on your goddamn face?
01:34 Why you hair dress like mine?
01:36 Nigga, you told me to come as your favorite character from a bank robbery movie.
01:39 I chose Dead Presidents.
01:41 Did we not all say Reservoir Dogs was our favorite movie?
01:45 I said Reservoir Dogs. I sent the email.
01:47 Did you get the email? And I tweeted it.
01:49 I got the tweet. I definitely got the tweet.
01:51 I'm not following you.
01:52 Ain't that about a bitch.
01:53 Remember when you said this shit about the dark-skinned girls?
01:56 I stopped following.
01:57 You're following me, though, right?
01:58 Oh, yeah. I'm still following you.
01:59 Oh, cool.
02:00 Okay. You know what?
02:01 Hey, listen. Listen!
02:03 We're about to rob a bank, okay?
02:05 We got to be together.
02:06 We don't have room for error.
02:08 Focus!
02:09 Now, we need to be on the same page, because right now we're not.
02:12 We're not on page two. We're on page one.
02:14 We need to flip back to page number one and read the third paragraph.
02:18 We can't turn to page two, because we're on page one!
02:21 Y'all ready to set it off, this motherfucker?
02:28 Dance, bitch!
02:32 Goddamn!
02:36 Jail.
02:39 That's where we're going.
02:40 Jail!
02:41 [Music]
02:44 [Music]
03:11 [Music]
03:15 [Music]
03:18 [Music]
03:32 [Music]
03:35 All right, guys.
03:53 Let's organize our watches.
03:55 The time right now is 1...
03:57 Uh, I don't have a watch.
03:59 What do you mean, you don't have no watch?
04:01 You didn't say, "Bring a watch."
04:03 Should I have to?
04:05 If you want me to bring it.
04:07 What are we doing today?
04:08 We robbing a bank.
04:09 Okay, so you don't think you need a damn watch to know what time we need to get out the goddamn bank?
04:12 You know what? We all together.
04:14 You know what? Forget it.
04:15 You don't need no watch.
04:16 You just count on your head. That's what you do.
04:18 That's how you keep track.
04:19 Hey, dude.
04:20 What?
04:21 My sugar is low. I got to stop and get something to eat.
04:23 You don't need shit else to eat, fat boy.
04:25 Ain't no time for that shit anyway.
04:27 How do you know what we got time for?
04:28 Because you don't got no goddamn watch.
04:30 Dumbass.
04:31 That's it. Done. Okay?
04:32 We're coming up on the bank, guys.
04:34 Game face is on. Right now. Let's go.
04:37 [Clock ticking]
04:39 [Gasp]
05:04 What?
05:05 You alright?
05:06 I'm good. I'm good.
05:07 You alright?
05:08 Hey! Hey!
05:09 What the hell is going on?
05:11 I think he's nervous, man.
05:12 Hey, I told you to tie your goddamn shoe on the car.
05:14 You better get it together.
05:16 Alright, man. Let's focus now.
05:18 Next in line.
05:32 Next in line.
05:33 Hey, how you doing?
05:37 I got a question.
05:38 Hypothetically, if this bank was to get robbed, is my money okay?
05:41 I got it!
05:54 Shit.
05:55 I mean, you know what? Don't worry about what I just said.
05:58 Let me just withdraw all my money.
05:59 I need all my money.
06:00 It's about $95.
06:01 I'm part of it. I'm sorry.
06:17 Put my money in the motherfucking bag!
06:19 Put the money in the bag!
06:20 Put the money in the bag!
06:24 Dang it!
06:27 Get your hands off me!
06:29 Get the fuck down!
06:30 Get down!
06:31 Everybody get the fuck down!
06:35 Get the fuck down!
06:36 Everybody!
06:37 Get the fuck down!
06:38 Get the...
06:39 You bitch, you better get down.
06:41 Get down!
06:42 Get your ass down!
06:43 Everybody! Down!
06:44 60 seconds!
06:46 Wait!
06:47 45!
06:56 I don't shoot nobody!
06:59 25!
07:00 I know!
07:01 15!
07:05 Alright, I got it.
07:06 Hey!
07:08 Get your ass up.
07:09 Give me the goddamn gun.
07:11 Give me my...
07:12 Get the fuck down!
07:14 Get your ass down.
07:15 5 seconds!
07:16 Wait!
07:18 You gotta start over!
07:19 I just got up here.
07:20 We can't be at 5 that fast.
07:22 You gotta start it over.
07:23 Robert De Niro didn't start his speech until he was up here.
07:25 60 seconds!
07:27 Everybody listen up!
07:29 We're holding this bank up.
07:31 Now, understand something.
07:32 We do not want your money, okay?
07:33 We want the bank's money.
07:35 Your money is insured by the federal government.
07:37 Now, do exactly as I say and you will not be hurt.
07:40 If you have kids and family that you love, you will listen.
07:43 If you got a pee or shit, you will hold it and possibly piss the shit on yourself.
07:47 If you got a throw up, you will throw up in your hand and put it in your pocket and wait until you get your...
07:51 Mr. Black.
07:52 Mr. Black.
07:53 Right, right.
07:55 Hey, you!
07:57 Get your ass...
07:58 Oh.
08:00 Oh, god damn.
08:03 Wait a minute.
08:04 Hey, that's beautiful.
08:07 How you doing?
08:10 I've been better.
08:11 Right, considering what's going on right now.
08:13 Yeah.
08:14 So, this your job?
08:15 Yeah.
08:16 How they treat you? They treat you good?
08:17 I mean, it's okay. I got benefits.
08:19 Yeah.
08:20 Question.
08:21 Yeah.
08:22 How long you gonna be? 'Cause I gotta be somewhere at 4 o'clock. So, can you...
08:25 No, no, no.
08:26 It'll be long.
08:27 Watch out!
08:28 Oh, shit.
08:29 You gotta be kidding me.
08:30 What?
08:31 Oh, you got to be god damn kidding me.
08:33 You got to be kidding me.
08:34 Hold on.
08:35 You need help?
08:36 No.
08:37 You sure?
08:38 Got my feet at the ground yet?
08:39 I doubt it.
08:40 Got my clothes?
08:41 Just drop. You good.
08:42 Oh, okay.
08:43 Give it to me.
08:44 I can't get it out.
08:45 Give me the god damn gun.
08:46 I don't.
08:47 Give me the... Give me the god damn...
08:48 Sit your ass down.
08:49 Sit your old ass down.
08:50 Okay, okay.
08:51 Put your head against the wall. Go to sleep.
08:52 Yes, sir.
08:53 Night-night, nigga.
08:54 Nighty-night.
08:55 Really, dude?
08:56 The court is by surprise, man.
08:59 This old 195-year-old ass court you by surprise?
09:02 My bad, Cap.