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Scary Movie 3 Episode 8
Transcript
00:00 I am the architect.
00:02 You have many questions.
00:04 I've been watching you for a very long time.
00:09 So I see.
00:12 But what is the connection between the crop circles and the videotape?
00:15 The answer is simple.
00:17 You are the eventuality of an anomaly.
00:19 You are inexorably seeking a sedulent probability.
00:22 Sedulent, I...
00:23 Grotesquerie? No?
00:25 What about contingent affirmation?
00:27 That's got to mean something.
00:28 Hey! Hey!
00:30 You put cameras in my bathroom?
00:33 I... What is this?
00:36 Oh, oh my God.
00:38 Well, it was a long winter.
00:40 This is an invasion of... Ow!
00:42 Oh, sorry. I can't help it.
00:44 It's very lonely in here.
00:46 Ergo, I haven't been with anyone in a very long time.
00:49 Not counting myself.
00:51 Or this chair.
00:53 I call her...
00:55 Linda.
00:57 Could you just cut to the chase? I'm kind of in a rush.
00:59 Why? You can always sleep over if you want.
01:01 Linda's built for two.
01:03 And she vibrates.
01:04 Stop it! Just tell me what I need to know.
01:06 Who is that little girl?
01:07 Okay, okay.
01:09 My wife and I wanted a child, but she couldn't get pregnant.
01:14 Neither could I.
01:16 So you adopted.
01:18 We loved our daughter, but she was evil.
01:20 Made the horses crazy. Killed our puppies.
01:22 Hid the remote. Really sick shit.
01:25 My wife took her to the old family farm and drowned her in a well.
01:28 I felt a simple time-out would have been sufficient.
01:32 But Tabitha imprinted her evil on a videotape.
01:35 I never meant for it to get out, but...
01:38 But what?
01:40 I put it in the wrong box and returned it to Blockbuster.
01:42 Instead of my copy of Poodie Tang.
01:44 And it's been circulating and killing ever since.
01:47 Just like Poodie Tang.
01:50 But what does this have to do with aliens?
01:52 I don't know.
01:53 Perhaps Tabitha's summoning them to kill us all.
01:56 An alien invasion?
01:58 I have to warn the world.
02:00 It's already begun. You're too late.
02:03 Oh, my God.
02:05 But not too late to make an old man happy.
02:08 What? What?
02:11 [♪♪♪]
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02:38 (upbeat music)