In Love & Toxic Episode 1 - Blue Therapy
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 # All that is dead in us has a body shot
00:02 # You can send it up or hold it... #
00:04 If he doesn't come to his senses quick, I'm gone.
00:08 I'm not signing no papers. End of.
00:11 I love Laura and I adore her.
00:12 I'm not happy in our relationship. That's why I'm here.
00:14 It's his time to let me know that I'm the woman he wants to be with.
00:17 # All that is dead in us has a body shot
00:21 # You can send it up... #
00:22 I'll bring you to the third. I want you to show respect to my dad.
00:24 I will not bow down to anybody.
00:26 Michael, what the fuck? Why are you avoiding the question?
00:27 Let's take it down, let's take a breather for a second.
00:29 I love her. I'm crazy in love with this girl.
00:32 You're my king. You know I love you, mate.
00:33 Love you.
00:34 You can't see any way back from this.
00:38 It's not what you think it is.
00:39 What do you mean it's not fucking what I think it is?
00:40 Are you fucking stupid? Move away from me, I'm not joking!
00:42 I don't want no parts of me, just any more, I'm done.
00:45 MUSIC STOPS
00:46 MUSIC PLAYS
00:55 Maria's the love of my life.
01:04 We've been together ten years, on and off.
01:06 Like most relationships, we've had our fair share of ups and downs,
01:11 but somehow always end up back together.
01:14 The situation's toxic, it's at a breaking point,
01:17 and I need him to wake up and actually understand that.
01:19 Maria's the boss. She's sexy, smart, ambitious, driven.
01:22 Like, she's literally the perfect person for me.
01:25 I'm not too sure about therapy, you know.
01:27 Maria's dragged me here. I'm here now, so let's see.
01:30 Therapy's not really something he wants to do.
01:32 I don't even think he believes in it,
01:33 but because he loves me so much,
01:35 he knows that this is like the final resort
01:37 to determine what's going to happen with our relationship.
01:39 It's nice in here, though.
01:43 It's all right.
01:44 I bet everyone will show up.
01:47 Got me wearing this stupid suit.
01:50 Got me looking like one of them fraudulent pastors.
01:52 THEY LAUGH
01:55 I'm just here to know if we're ready to go to the next level.
01:57 I need to get married, start a family.
01:59 That would be the next level.
02:01 However, I don't think anyone told him the definition of marriage.
02:03 It's like my head is telling me something else,
02:09 but my heart is with T.
02:12 To be honest, it's making me quite emotional now.
02:16 There's just something about your first love,
02:18 and I think that's what it is, because even though I may feel like
02:21 this isn't the best situation for me, somehow I'm here again.
02:25 Hello. Hello.
02:33 How are you? I'm good. How are you?
02:35 I'm fine, thank you. Hello.
02:37 Hiya. I'm Denise, and you are?
02:40 I'm Marie. And? T.
02:42 And? T. T. Yeah.
02:44 Is that how you'd like me to address you? Yeah, pretty much. OK.
02:47 Just before we start, can I just ask you to remove your glasses,
02:53 if that's possible?
02:55 I'd rather not.
02:57 OK. Just take it off.
02:58 Thank you.
03:06 So, why are you here now?
03:08 Our relationship is literally, like, hanging by the thread.
03:12 And we've been together for ten years, on and off.
03:15 We got together when I was 17, now I'm 27.
03:17 And obviously, growing up, you know, it was puppy love.
03:20 And now I've got to a point where I've realised that me and T
03:22 may not actually be as compatible as I thought,
03:24 because we think different on so many things.
03:27 Two minutes into the session, and to be honest,
03:28 I ain't even really feeling the vibe.
03:30 It's just quite uncomfortable for me.
03:32 You met at 17. It was love, it was lust.
03:35 Has that energy continued?
03:37 Yeah, the lust is there, the love is there too.
03:40 However, despite the fact that there's love in everything,
03:43 there's actually big problems in this relationship
03:47 that I need to have answers from.
03:48 And that is basically why we're here.
03:50 Well, you cause most of the problems, I don't understand.
03:52 OK, I'm going to do that. Hello, hello, hello.
03:53 And you decide to not...
03:55 Listen, don't be trying to shut man down, are you all right?
03:57 I'm right here beside you, I'm trying to speak.
04:00 So, let me just take you back.
04:01 In those times, T, that you were not together,
04:04 what happened in your life?
04:05 I had three kids. Not one, not two, three.
04:08 Your point is? That you have three.
04:10 I said that the first time.
04:11 We did have like a break in between them,
04:17 first two years, and then...
04:19 Destruction.
04:20 Found out that he was having a child.
04:24 That changed everything.
04:26 It is very difficult, you know, when the love of your life
04:29 is going off and having a child, you know, with someone else.
04:33 # A list of things I can't forget... #
04:36 So, yeah, I had to leave at that point,
04:40 and that's when we went on a massive break for four years,
04:44 in which, whilst we were separated, he had two other kids.
04:48 # And I don't... #
04:51 Ah, you know, it's so hard for me to talk about it, because...
04:54 # ...your family routine... #
04:57 This is, like, the reason why we broke up.
05:00 I have to put them first before, you know, her.
05:02 She might not like the sound of that,
05:04 but the reality is that, you know, my kids come first.
05:06 I need T to understand that it's not like I'm trying to compete
05:08 or anything like that, but I've set my standards,
05:11 and if he doesn't meet me where I'm at,
05:13 then this relationship is over.
05:16 So, you've got three children? I have none.
05:20 And you have none. Sorry.
05:22 I know it's his turn, sorry, but go on, sorry.
05:24 It's OK. Was this an issue for you,
05:26 that he went off and had three children?
05:30 Erm, to be honest, the...
05:32 I'm choking. Speak.
05:35 So, what is it that you would like to see in the future?
05:42 How would you like to be together? Is marriage on the cards?
05:45 He doesn't even know what marriage is.
05:47 What is marriage to you?
05:48 Marriage is when, you know, two people get together
05:50 and just live happily ever after.
05:52 She's been conditioned to do things in a Western way.
05:55 I'm African, so, you know, I'll only do things the African way,
05:58 which I'm used to, in which I...
05:59 Western way.
06:01 And what is the difference? In Africa, how does it work?
06:03 Africa, you know, you get just, you know,
06:05 meet a beautiful young lady,
06:06 say, "Come here, sit here," and that's it, done.
06:09 You're married. Really?
06:10 Have kids, buy her a house, cars, and, you know,
06:13 live happily ever after.
06:14 OK, that's obviously not what you were expecting.
06:16 Denise, is that marriage?
06:19 It seems like it. What do you think is marriage?
06:20 Pause, pause, pause. What do you think marriage is?
06:23 What does it mean to you?
06:24 Marriage is the bringing together of two people.
06:26 Legally.
06:28 Legally. To move forward in life.
06:30 Legally, like? She didn't say legally once.
06:32 Can you stop putting words in my mouth?
06:33 Where the hell did this guy actually learn about marriage, please?
06:37 Like, talking about, "In Africa, this happens, blah, blah, blah."
06:40 I'm saying to you, we need to do things properly, the right way.
06:43 I am ready to pay for five weddings in five different continents.
06:48 I'll put a ring on every single finger.
06:51 Buy her a house, buy her a car. What car you want, G-Wagon?
06:53 Yes, all of that, but that's not the point.
06:55 Buy and sign on papers. OK.
06:56 For me, marriage is the legally recognised union between two people.
07:01 Tell me why you need that.
07:04 Yeah, thanks. Yeah.
07:06 What separates me from his two baby mothers?
07:10 We actually have a relationship. OK.
07:12 We actually do things together, we love each other.
07:14 They're way different. I need everything to be recognised.
07:17 By? Law. Why?
07:19 Listen, I'm not going to lie, I'm in a situation right now
07:21 where I feel like I have to battle and fight for my position with you
07:25 because of your fucking life.
07:26 You're the one who has nothing. No, but I do, though.
07:28 All of this is in your head. To be honest,
07:30 if it wasn't for the love I have for this guy, I wouldn't even be with him.
07:32 You aren't a better guy than me. I'm the best you're ever going to have.
07:34 My ideal man doesn't even have kids.
07:38 Let's even start off with that. OK.
07:40 If we had a straightforward relationship where he didn't even have
07:41 these kids, we wouldn't even be here.
07:43 I still wouldn't sign papers to marry you.
07:45 I just don't understand the benefit of me having to notify the government
07:48 that I want to be with the love of my life for the rest of my life.
07:50 Culturally, what is the difference between your background in marriage
07:54 and your background in marriage? Is it very different?
07:56 I grew up around, you know, in Africa,
07:58 spent seven years in Nigeria, to be precise.
08:00 My grandad had five wives.
08:02 Every single wife had their own house, own crib.
08:04 When he passed away, RIP, he left them a fat chunk of money,
08:08 companies, cars, lots of stuff, and no-one went without.
08:11 I've grown up on that and I don't necessarily want five wives.
08:13 Times have changed. I mean, I might take a second if you don't act right, but...
08:17 You don't even have a first. What the fuck are you talking about? We'll see.
08:20 Sorry, Deniz. First of all, I just have to talk about this Africa, Africa.
08:23 He keeps talking about... I'm African as well, yeah?
08:25 And I have African parents that are married.
08:27 They're married legally because they've done it legally the right way.
08:29 Is this a bit all-or-none deal if this doesn't work?
08:32 Deniz, it is the deal-breaker. She ain't going nowhere.
08:34 Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Watch me.
08:37 Is this really love?
08:41 Because how can it be if you don't want to legally marry me?
08:43 I'm not signing no papers.
08:45 End of. There's no debate.
08:47 We're not going back and forth about it.
08:48 It's my way or the highway.
08:50 If T does not sign those papers, he literally will be waving, like, goodbye.
08:55 Right now, I'm mad pissed off at Ray.
09:10 They're like a big argument.
09:11 You haven't really resolved it. They haven't really spoken.
09:13 They haven't seen each other.
09:14 You'd better show up.
09:14 Someone's making all this effort for no reason.
09:16 My fear today is Ray comes in full of attitude and doesn't take it seriously.
09:26 I could still be wasting my time.
09:27 Sean needs to wake up and change.
09:43 I don't want to see his face.
09:45 It's going to piss me off.
09:46 I can't promise that I won't cast the shit out of him.
09:48 When he first told me to go to therapy, I wasn't expecting it to really go like this.
09:58 The fact that we haven't even spoken at all before these sessions, I'm just even more angry.
10:03 It's his time to let me know that I'm the woman he wants to be with.
10:07 I'm angry at Sean, only because we have not spoken before these sessions are starting.
10:31 I haven't seen him, haven't spoken to him.
10:33 I don't know if I'm going to stay calm and be nice.
10:36 Hello, Ray.
10:37 Hi, Joe.
10:38 Hello, Sean.
10:44 You all right?
10:45 Take a seat, take a seat.
10:47 I'm sensing some tension.
10:50 Who would like to shed some light on what's going on?
10:56 He brought me here because he's a liar.
11:01 And honestly, I don't see the point of being here.
11:05 Why is it every time we're in public and you're always like trying to put me up to be some bad person?
11:08 First of all, you're saying I'm lying, but you're the one who's fucking lying.
11:11 Every single time you go out, you're always trying to play this victim card and all that type of stuff.
11:15 Just to answer your question, since he wants to get irate.
11:18 Bro, you're fair, you're plus.
11:19 What's going on?
11:20 Are you rude?
11:21 Are you rude?
11:22 I would describe Ray as very opinionated.
11:25 I can be stubborn sometimes.
11:29 She's very argumentative.
11:30 I am outspoken.
11:32 Not like in a bitchy way.
11:33 But if you bring it to me, of course, you are going to get the bitch.
11:35 The relationship, I won't say it's smooth sailing.
11:39 When we move forward ten steps, we probably move back like 100.
11:42 I don't know how the relationship is going to go from here.
11:46 But right now, we're not really seeing eye to eye.
11:47 It's probably the worst we've been so far.
11:48 Just to answer your question, I actually haven't seen him.
11:55 I think in the last week or so.
11:56 The last time I saw him, we got into a really, really heated argument.
11:59 Again, the continuous lies.
12:00 What do you lie about?
12:01 Everything. Everything.
12:03 So over the weekend, I called him and he said, "Oh, you know, I'm sick.
12:08 "I don't feel well. I've got a flu. I'm not going out." Right?
12:12 Why is it, like, an hour or two later, a friend of mine calls me and says,
12:15 "Oh, Sean is at this motive."
12:16 I mean, as a man, can you not understand where I'm coming from?
12:19 You tell your girl that you're not going out.
12:21 So I'm thinking, "OK, let me cook him some soup.
12:23 "Let me take it for him. Let me surprise him."
12:25 Not knowing his arse is out.
12:26 His arse is out and he couldn't even tell me what he was doing.
12:28 His arse is out and he couldn't even tell me that he was out.
12:31 I wasn't dying. I can't step out of my yard.
12:32 That's how you made it seem like he was dying.
12:34 Why are you not telling me where you're going?
12:37 That's it. That's it.
12:38 Let's take it down. Let's take a breather for a second.
12:40 Yeah?
12:42 This whole lying thing, I hate it.
12:43 Cos I'm not a liar.
12:44 Lying is when I purposely try and mislead you.
12:46 I didn't purposely try and mislead her.
12:48 I just didn't tell her certain information cos she didn't ask.
12:51 So if you don't ask something and I don't tell you, then I'm not lying.
12:54 Ray, you mentioned about he lied from the beginning.
12:56 Yes. Can you share some lie exactly on what he lied about?
12:58 First one, second one, third one. Which one?
13:00 First one.
13:02 So when we met on Hinge, his profile said 28 years old, right?
13:06 Obviously, I'm a 30-year-old woman.
13:08 I don't want to be dating anyone, you know, that young.
13:11 So one day he took me out to dinner and I confronted him about it.
13:14 I was like, "What's your real age?"
13:16 That's when I found out he was 26 years old.
13:18 He deceived me in the relationship
13:20 and I just want to understand why you carried on lying.
13:22 Even when I confronted you about it, you were still making excuses.
13:25 What did you want from me? Why did you lie about your age?
13:27 I didn't lie about the age, bro. Yes, you did.
13:29 Let me talk. Yes, you did. Let me fucking talk. One second, Ray.
13:31 If I make a profile, like I said, I've had the profile for a minute,
13:33 can't remember what age I put, right?
13:34 And I met Ray maybe, I don't know, however long later,
13:36 and you meet girls all the time on all these dating sites.
13:38 You talk to girls all the time on all these dating sites.
13:40 Like, I don't fucking owe you shit. So what was your motive?
13:42 I may not speak to you... So what was your motive, then?
13:43 So what we're going to do here is... What was your motive?
13:45 You just lied to girls, just get in their pants.
13:46 It's not even lying. Just off their pants.
13:47 You just lied, just off their pants. Guys, guys, guys.
13:49 Listening is an important factor in this actual session.
13:52 We have to listen. It's very, very important that we listen.
13:55 We cannot keep interrupting each other.
13:57 Sean? I still want to be a bit private.
13:59 I don't think I need to tell the whole world everything.
14:01 About your age? I can be private about whatever I want.
14:03 Isn't age, from your perspective, an important thing to put?
14:06 So you find out that you're... I wasn't looking for anything serious.
14:07 Thank you. It doesn't matter. He didn't come clean.
14:09 Until we were like, "How many dates in between?"
14:11 Until he's clapped my cheek from here to Sunday.
14:14 From here to Sunday, he's clapped it, he's done whatever, right?
14:16 Still didn't tell me.
14:17 When you asked him about his age, did he come clean at that moment
14:20 or did he continue to deny it?
14:21 He continued to play it down. I didn't deny anything.
14:23 Wait, one second, one second. He played it down.
14:25 I need to know the difference between denying and playing down.
14:27 OK, he didn't deny it, but he didn't actually admit to it either.
14:29 He didn't deny it, he didn't admit, but he didn't admit to it either.
14:31 OK, guys, we're going to have to listen to each other.
14:32 So he didn't lie, he played it down.
14:35 It's deceitful.
14:36 I think she's being sensitive, overreacting.
14:40 She made a big deal. It's not that deep.
14:43 It's really not that deep.
14:44 I'm very pissed off with Sean.
14:46 I want him to completely be honest
14:48 and just take accountability for his actions.
14:50 On the note of marriage,
15:03 how can you make Marie feel more special than the other two?
15:06 OK, hold on, hold on.
15:09 Are you ready for marriage?
15:11 Yeah.
15:11 You ready for marriage?
15:12 Yeah.
15:12 You sure?
15:13 Yeah.
15:15 Denise, this girl does not cook, she does not clean.
15:17 Yes, I do.
15:18 I do cook and clean.
15:19 I cook and clean on girlfriend level, not on wife level.
15:22 OK, when I'm the wife, I will start doing more.
15:24 Now I'm girlfriend.
15:24 What do you want me to do?
15:25 Cook for you every day when I'm just your girlfriend?
15:26 You're crazy.
15:27 That is what it means.
15:28 I cook and clean on the level at which I am, which is a girlfriend.
15:31 Tin needs to understand there will be millions of guys out there
15:33 willing to be with a girl like me.
15:35 But if we were to flip the script
15:36 and the fact that you have three children, two baby mothers,
15:39 how many girls are actually going to accept that?
15:40 I'm the one who's making the biggest sacrifice,
15:43 being with you despite the setup of your situation.
15:46 Would you be with me if I had kids?
15:47 Because you're the biggest fucking hypocrite ever.
15:49 Would you be with me if I had kids?
15:50 I've got three kids.
15:55 So if you've got a kid and I'm meant to be the breadwinner,
15:58 it's just going to be too many kids, man.
15:59 Like, I'm just staying in a nursery.
16:00 I like my woman in certain ways.
16:02 You know, looking pretty.
16:03 Just look at her.
16:04 You know, to all the baby mothers, kangaroo pouches.
16:07 Hang on a minute.
16:09 You know, we don't have to bring that kind of attitude into the room.
16:12 I don't mean it like that.
16:13 Just as in, like, I like, you know, big bum, flat tums, pretty face.
16:17 Who even says that?
16:18 Like, you're actually a grown man who came from a woman,
16:21 your mother gave birth to you,
16:22 and you're there saying kangaroo pouch, kangaroo.
16:24 Like, please, go and actually learn some manners.
16:26 Childish.
16:27 What the hell?
16:28 My preference is childish.
16:29 Yes, what the hell?
16:29 You're talking about, like, listen to this mindset.
16:32 I have my preferences and I'm allowed to state my preferences.
16:35 That's like you saying you don't like short men.
16:37 Do you know what? It's not even the same.
16:37 I'm not even going to even...
16:39 The physical attribute.
16:40 You're actually man.
16:41 The belly, you can sort it out.
16:42 Height, you can't do nothing about it.
16:43 I tell him all the time...
16:45 That's like her saying she couldn't be with a guy who isn't rich
16:47 or who hasn't got money.
16:49 Would you be with a guy who's broke?
16:50 No, I absolutely would not.
16:51 Exactly.
16:51 You're not the trophy in this relationship, I am.
16:53 You should actually feel privileged that someone like me even wants to marry you.
16:56 T, would you be with Marie if she already had children?
16:58 No.
17:00 Sorry?
17:02 I wouldn't know.
17:02 But you're quite happy to have got two baby mothers
17:08 with three children between them.
17:09 I mean, I can't send them back to heaven.
17:11 No, but it seems like it's OK for you to do it,
17:15 but it wouldn't be OK for Marie to do it.
17:16 She could do what she want, but just not with me.
17:18 That's actually very helpful.
17:20 If it's not for the love that I have for him,
17:22 I wouldn't even fucking be in this position.
17:24 I know what the fuck I deserve.
17:25 I don't even deserve to even be with someone who even...
17:27 Are you listening to what Marie's saying here?
17:30 I can hear her, yeah.
17:31 Does that not make you feel anything?
17:33 I mean, you asked me a question and it's a preference.
17:36 I just don't date women who have kids.
17:38 I don't want you taking it personal.
17:40 You know?
17:41 I'm taking it personal because it's like,
17:42 it becomes clearer and clearer to me every day.
17:44 The nonsense that I'm actually in.
17:46 I genuinely do feel like I've made a mistake
17:50 and I'm making a mistake.
17:51 The circumstances in which I'm willing to love him,
17:54 he's not willing to love me, given those same circumstances.
17:58 And that genuinely does, like, make me question everything
18:01 and it literally rips my heart to pieces.
18:07 So, me and Michael met on Tinder.
18:09 So, I swiped him because I thought he was quite cute.
18:12 From the second me and Lauren first met,
18:14 it was like, we had that spark,
18:16 we had that click, like, instantaneously.
18:18 When you know, you know.
18:18 And I feel like with Lauren, I just knew straight away,
18:20 like, I wanted to be with her.
18:21 When I first met Michael,
18:24 I was like, "Oh, I'm so excited to be with him."
18:26 I was like, "Oh, I'm so excited to be with him."
18:27 And then I met him and I was like,
18:28 "Oh, I'm so excited to be with him."
18:29 And then I met him and I was like,
18:30 "Oh, I'm so excited to be with him."
18:31 And then I met him and I was like,
18:31 "Oh, I'm so excited to be with him."
18:32 And then I met him and I was like, "Oh, I'm so excited to be with him."
18:36 When I first met Michael, I was attracted to him
18:38 because I thought he was just like a nice, sweet guy.
18:40 I love Lauren, I adore her,
18:42 but I'm not happy in our relationship.
18:43 It's why I'm here.
18:44 We've tried talking about it at home and we're getting over it.
18:47 At this point, I don't know how else we can get around our issues.
18:56 So, hopefully having somebody else in the room
18:58 to mediate our problems is going to help us.
19:01 No second guessing, this is right
19:04 and it's the way that you look at me.
19:06 Can we just pause it there? A second, please.
19:09 Femi is my girl. I feel like I can tell her everything.
19:11 She knows all about me and Michael.
19:12 I've been telling her the whole situation from the start.
19:15 So, I really like to get her view on what she thinks I should do.
19:17 I don't even know where to start, honestly.
19:18 How long do you have?
19:19 Michael has booked me and him to go...
19:22 On holiday?
19:23 To do a therapy session.
19:26 Why?
19:26 He doesn't talk to me properly.
19:27 I always tell you all the time he's a leaver.
19:28 I'm like, "Oh, what are you thinking?"
19:29 "Nothing."
19:29 He doesn't tell me anything in depth.
19:31 If he wants me to go on this,
19:32 then he's obviously going to open up and say so much stuff.
19:34 So, I'm like, "OK, let's go."
19:34 Do you know what I mean?
19:35 Listen to what he's got to say.
19:36 It's sweet, but he wants to work on it and that's rare.
19:38 I just think, "What's the worst that can happen?"
19:40 You know?
19:40 Try it, see where it goes.
19:41 Maybe he's got some other random shit that I don't even know about.
19:43 Guaranteed there's going to be something.
19:45 Something.
19:46 This one's always got surprises.
19:48 Yeah.
19:48 Jo's ready for you.
19:51 So, you're not going to get me out?
19:55 # You want it, love
19:56 # Cos I can't be gone
19:58 # It only hit me
19:59 # And it only hit me
20:00 # Our love is wrong, you know it always is
20:02 I'm hoping that we can just talk things out.
20:04 I'm going to feel more comfortable to speak my mind
20:07 because there's going to be somebody else in that room.
20:09 Hello, Lauren.
20:10 Hello.
20:10 Hello, Michael.
20:11 Nice to meet you.
20:14 Nice to meet you.
20:14 Nice to meet you.
20:15 What brings you to therapy?
20:17 I guess you're into it.
20:18 I guess there's a few reasons.
20:20 There's one main reason being Lauren's career.
20:23 Obviously, Lauren's a singer.
20:24 I am very much like a normal 9-to-5 guy.
20:27 We're complete opposite ends of the spectrum.
20:29 We first got together about a year ago.
20:30 Our career wasn't quite where it is now.
20:31 So, as it's taken off through time,
20:33 I feel like there's a wedge being driven between us
20:36 that's pushing us further and further apart.
20:38 What do you do for a living yourself?
20:39 I'm a manager at Doggy Daker.
20:41 Right.
20:41 I'm an average 9-to-5.
20:44 I know where I'm going every day.
20:45 It's the same routine for me.
20:46 Whereas Lauren, it could be anything.
20:48 Anything could change last moment.
20:49 We could be about to go to dinner,
20:50 all of a sudden she gets a call and she's got to go.
20:53 I don't want to be that pestering boyfriend,
20:55 but we make plans and she never sticks to it.
20:57 Music is my priority.
21:06 I've got a dream to chase and nothing's going to stop me.
21:08 It used to be our relationship and her career
21:12 were sort of on the same level.
21:13 I understood that. That was cool.
21:14 And then once the song blew up,
21:16 it was like her career went up here and I went down here.
21:18 Our relationship went on the back burner,
21:19 which is a problem for me.
21:22 Lauren, what's your thoughts on where Michael stands on your career?
21:25 For me, it's quite hard really to hear
21:27 because my career is getting better.
21:29 And then to hear just from his side, it's negative.
21:31 Do you know what I mean?
21:32 It's the only place where I'm getting negative from.
21:34 When she's got a show, regardless whether it's 12 o'clock at night,
21:36 or if we're in London, I'll be there.
21:38 I'm always making the effort.
21:39 It's not easy, especially with I've got a normal job
21:41 where I've got to be up at a certain time,
21:42 but she doesn't understand that.
21:43 So when I'm showing up to her shows and I'm not in the best mood,
21:45 I feel like I'm a bit of an annoyance there,
21:47 but I'm putting in the effort to be there.
21:48 Sometimes I think it's better probably if he didn't actually come
21:50 because he'll just bring the whole vibe down.
21:52 Do you know what I mean?
21:53 I don't understand why she's saying that I'm bad vibes.
21:54 She's not even acknowledging my existence half the time.
21:56 I get maybe like a little nod or a wave
21:58 and then it's like straight back to just Laurenville, you know?
22:02 I think he thinks it's like bring your boyfriend to work day.
22:04 Like if I'm not going to everyone,
22:05 "Oh, by the way, this is my boyfriend. This is my boyfriend."
22:07 You know, it's like, it's not your show.
22:08 It's not about you.
22:09 You've come to support me.
22:10 So either do that or probably better if you didn't,
22:13 if you're going to bring like the vibe down.
22:15 [Music]
22:27 So Marie got really upset a moment ago.
22:29 You didn't seem to show any empathy towards the fact that she was upset.
22:34 Is this normal?
22:35 She's a fucking idiot. That's why.
22:36 No, but it's just, she's just overreacting.
22:37 How am I overreacting?
22:38 She's kind of like, she's a bit emotionally unstable.
22:42 Yeah, we're calling a spade a spade.
22:44 This is just...
22:45 T, what would you say is the strongest thing between you?
22:48 The link.
22:49 I think our minds are at hustle.
22:50 Yeah, I think we're both good hustlers.
22:53 But then she tries to hustle me and that's where I ain't having that.
22:56 You ain't going to try to hustle a hustler.
22:57 Huh? What?
22:59 We could both have the same plate of food,
23:00 but she would still want what's on my plate.
23:02 Which I'm not saying is a bad thing,
23:05 but when you take what's off my plate and then you act ungrateful,
23:08 then that's when there's an issue.
23:10 I know where he's going with this.
23:11 Like he's talking about simple things that a man should do.
23:14 Like what?
23:14 Like looking after your woman.
23:15 I look after you, bro.
23:16 You're a man, I'm a woman.
23:18 Yeah.
23:18 Let's play our roles accordingly.
23:19 Exactly, I'm going to look after you.
23:20 I'll take care of you.
23:22 You go on holidays, I buy you stuff.
23:23 Even the holidays that he's mentioning is even still a problem.
23:26 What about the holidays?
23:26 Because when I ask him for holidays,
23:28 it's not like he even still wants to provide as well.
23:29 Listen, this woman wants me to give her £15,000
23:32 for her to go on a four-day trip to Miami.
23:34 Oh, OK.
23:35 The cost of living is just stupid these days
23:36 and she wants me to give her 15 grand so she can go waste on holidays.
23:39 You already know how I live my life.
23:40 You've lost your mind.
23:41 I haven't lost my mind.
23:42 T already knew what it was when he got back into this relationship with me.
23:45 He knows what type of girl I am, he knows my standards,
23:47 he knows what I require and he was fine with it.
23:49 So I don't know why now, all of a sudden,
23:51 he doesn't seem to be meeting up with what we agreed to.
23:54 Did you go on the holiday?
23:55 I have my own money, Denise.
23:56 No one's saying you ain't got your own money.
23:57 Because, yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:58 Listen, she asked me for the 15 grand.
24:00 A couple of days later, I use her laptop sometimes, innit?
24:03 And I'm seeing a £15,000 credit alert.
24:07 Do you want to explain that?
24:08 Who's that from?
24:09 A client.
24:09 A client?
24:10 Yeah.
24:11 A business client.
24:11 Yeah, a business client who wanted a property.
24:13 He paid a deposit and he paid six weeks' rent and it was £15,000.
24:18 Interesting.
24:20 Please don't ask me about the holiday,
24:21 because that holiday does not concern you anymore.
24:22 It's none of your business.
24:23 T doesn't trust me and I don't know where that stems from.
24:27 You've asked me for 15K and then that same amount
24:30 appears in your account magically.
24:32 Yeah, I wasn't born yesterday.
24:34 We're almost at the end of our first little chat
24:37 and from what you've told me,
24:40 there's an imbalance in the way you're both thinking about everything.
24:44 So what we need to do is see if there's some kind of resolution
24:47 that we can put together where you're both happy
24:51 to move forward towards a goal that would work for both of you.
24:55 Hopefully.
24:57 Hopefully.
24:58 Don't forget your glasses.
24:59 I definitely won't.
25:02 The way this session went is just not even how I pictured it to go.
25:06 I feel so disappointed and I just hope that this is just not how.
25:09 It's just going to be moving forward.
25:11 Otherwise, it's like, have I made a mistake with this?
25:13 At the end of the day, in the beginning of any relationship,
25:26 it's better to start off on truth.
25:27 It's just better because you can avoid this in the future.
25:29 I love you, the truth is mine.
25:30 Bear in mind as well that you're dating someone that's slightly older than you
25:33 and you're dating someone that's slightly younger than you.
25:34 So you're in two different places in life.
25:36 What else is the issue apart from just the lying and the age situation?
25:39 What else is on your mind?
25:41 Ask him.
25:43 His big head is the one that brought me here.
25:44 I need someone else to be a media because I can't do this shit anymore.
25:48 She's just a bad communicator.
25:49 She shuts down when I try and speak to her.
25:51 Fucking hypocrite.
25:51 Like, she just shouts all the damn time.
25:56 Is there a reason for that?
25:57 I don't know.
25:58 You need to ask her what the reason is.
25:59 Where is there a reason for that?
26:00 Like, it's not making no sense.
26:02 I just feel like with Sean, he just doesn't hear me.
26:03 So yes, sometimes I get frustrated and I shout.
26:06 But that's only because when I get to 10,
26:08 he doesn't know how to bring me back down.
26:09 Just help me relax, right?
26:11 Instead, he aggravates the situation even more.
26:13 And then he wants to insert himself as if he's my dad or something.
26:16 And that shit pisses me off.
26:17 Why do I need to get you to like a six or seven?
26:19 You're a grown-ass woman.
26:20 You should be able to do that by yourself.
26:21 If you can't handle yourself by now, then there's some serious issues there.
26:24 How about you bring me down to six or seven?
26:26 How about that?
26:26 Why is it always about you?
26:27 She needs to learn something.
26:28 You need to learn how to talk to a woman.
26:29 You need to learn how...
26:30 You need to learn how to talk to me.
26:30 You need to learn how to respect me.
26:31 So, like, what we're doing right now is not learning how to talk to each other at all.
26:34 Exactly.
26:35 Why do you think if there is a problem in communication from yourself,
26:40 it's a bit of self-reflection,
26:41 how do you feel like you communicate to Sean?
26:43 By shouting. That's what she does.
26:44 One second, Sean.
26:45 I'm not saying I'm the best communicator.
26:47 You're the worst.
26:47 Is your name Joe?
26:49 Again, your identity is Sean, not Joe, not Ray.
26:53 Your place is over there, yes?
26:55 So, like, for example, language, like, your place is over there.
26:57 You can understand why that can be triggering.
26:59 Oh.
27:01 And sometimes when she's right, she's fine.
27:02 And sometimes when I'm right, well, she never acknowledges when I'm right.
27:04 It's always her.
27:05 When Ray feels something, it's all about her.
27:07 She doesn't care about nobody else's feelings,
27:08 because nobody else's feelings matter as much.
27:09 Because I'm a bad bitch.
27:10 It's always about me.
27:10 Did you not know?
27:11 What is a bad bee?
27:12 What is that?
27:13 Me.
27:14 Somebody who is independent, somebody who empowers herself,
27:16 somebody who is the epitome of strong.
27:18 And that's what he can't have.
27:19 All right, so one second.
27:20 So, from a strong, independent point of view,
27:21 do you find yourself depending on Sean to help regulate
27:24 or facilitate those conversations when you're angry?
27:26 Because on one hand, you're saying to him, "I'm a bad bee."
27:28 On the other hand, you want someone to help you calm down.
27:31 Can you shed some light and just kind of let us know specifically what you actually want?
27:35 Because it's important for Sean to know what you want from him specifically.
27:37 I'm looking for a partner.
27:38 I've been the independent, strong woman, right?
27:41 And I just want to be with somebody who can give me that balance.
27:45 I want to feel like I have somebody in my corner.
27:47 I don't feel like I have that.
27:49 So, sure, for you, in those moments,
27:50 what can she do to indicate to you that she needs your help by that moment in time?
27:53 How can I even be thinking about her when I'm thinking about,
27:56 "Let me not, you know, let me survive because this is an attack"?
27:58 Never thinking about me, that's the point.
27:59 That's not never thinking about you.
28:01 You never think about me.
28:02 Why can't you consider me when you're talking to me, then?
28:03 You call me a liar. What have I lied about?
28:05 What have I lied about? What have I lied about?
28:07 Baby, let's cut the debate.
28:08 You're on mine, Sean. What have I lied about?
28:09 Ray, let's cut the debate.
28:10 Tell me, you brought me to therapy. You brought me here.
28:13 Yo, listen.
28:14 Tell me what exactly I've lied about.
28:16 Because you're here, you're just talking and talking and talking.
28:18 I'm talking.
28:18 You're not stating no facts. You're really not all that. So relax.
28:21 Let me be real with you.
28:21 Yes. Be real for once in your life.
28:23 Let me be real with you. You're not special.
28:24 I get a lot of fucking girls.
28:26 Are you fucking stupid?
28:27 I get a lot of girls.
28:28 Are you fucking stupid?
28:29 Bring your sister, bring your mum, bring your friends.
28:30 They'll all be happy to take a position with Racky.
28:31 You are a dickhead.
28:32 Don't ever talk to me like how you've been talking to me here.
28:34 Whenever I talk to you, you talk to me here.
28:34 I'm not going to let you get disrespected by this idiot.
28:36 So you know what? It's fine. It's fine.
28:37 Because you're a dickhead. You're actually a dickhead.
28:38 And this is what she does.
28:39 Just because she has a big bum, she wants to come out flaunting.
28:40 That's all she does.
28:41 Every time she walks away, walks away, walks away.
28:42 What did you say?
28:42 What did you actually say?
28:43 All she wants to do is just smorgasbord the bum.
28:45 Are you the person with the big bum?
28:46 What did you just say?
28:46 All right.
28:47 What did you... If you're mad, repeat it.
28:48 Repeat it. What did you say?
28:49 Sit your ass down, right? And stop getting in my face.
28:52 Let's take it down.
28:52 What did you say?
28:53 Look, look, look. I'm a bit...
28:54 What did you say?
28:55 I'm turning the place upside down right now.
28:56 Tell me, Sean.
28:56 I'm turning the place upside down.
28:57 Turn it upside down.
28:58 You ready? Take a seat.
29:06 What did he actually say that triggered you?
29:09 What made you walk off?
29:13 Is Joe actually asking me that question?
29:14 Like, as if he's not in the same room,
29:16 hearing this guy be disrespectful...
29:18 What?
29:20 Right now, I just hate the way she's talking to me.
29:21 I feel like when she disrespects me,
29:23 I have to hit her back with another jab.
29:24 I'm going to sit here and he's talking about,
29:26 "Oh, I can get this A, B, C, D,
29:27 and then you're going to bring in my family."
29:28 My family? Are you all right?
29:29 Are you all right?
29:30 Sean knew exactly, him mentioning my family,
29:34 what that was going to do for me.
29:35 You know, the only person I'm really close to is my auntie.
29:37 So when he brought that up, yes, that was very...
29:39 It was triggering for me.
29:42 At some point in the relationship,
29:43 do you guys have these conversations
29:45 about things that are off limits
29:46 or things that might actually make things difficult?
29:48 He gets so irate, we don't get there.
29:49 I step away.
29:51 I don't like being pushed to a corner, right?
29:54 When he's speaking crazy,
29:56 getting all irate, aggressive like that,
29:57 I don't like that.
29:58 So I do shut down.
29:59 I'm not going to engage in a conversation like that.
30:01 So what have you understood from what Sean has said?
30:04 I haven't understood anything.
30:06 All she does is point to the finger.
30:08 Give me something, anything.
30:09 I understand that we are finding it difficult to communicate.
30:12 You are finding it difficult to communicate.
30:12 No, we both.
30:13 We both.
30:14 If you want accountability, OK, you got it.
30:16 We both find it difficult to communicate.
30:18 I mean, that's the first time I heard her take any sort of accountability.
30:22 But why do we have to get from...
30:23 I'm the most reasonable with him and I.
30:25 I'm the most reasonable.
30:27 I'm the one that tries to have understanding
30:29 of certain things that we say to each other,
30:31 why certain things are going left.
30:33 I'm the one that tries to have that safe space.
30:34 So clearly, there's a lot of problems here,
30:37 a lot of issues here,
30:38 but you wouldn't be here
30:39 if you didn't actually want things to work.
30:41 Relationships is not about having no drama.
30:43 It's not the absence of drama.
30:44 It's the ability to overcome drama
30:46 is what makes relationship very, very good.
30:47 So don't hold each other in contempt for having issues.
30:50 It's about how you both go around dealing with these issues, right?
30:53 So I want to set you guys some homework to do.
30:55 Sean, I want you to write down three of your priorities
30:57 and reflect on those things and possibly share with Ray, right?
31:00 I want you to do the exact same thing
31:02 because at the end of the day, you have to respect,
31:03 acknowledge and understand what's important to the other person
31:07 so you know how to navigate with these things.
31:10 Sean, you going to try?
31:10 At least in this session,
31:14 we've hashed out a lot of the fundamental issues
31:16 in the beginning of the relationship,
31:17 especially the lies and age and everything else like that,
31:19 and hopefully this will help us mature moving forward.
31:21 Make sense?
31:21 All right.
31:22 Yeah, I guess.
31:23 I'll see you guys in the next session.
31:25 (dramatic music)
31:28 I'm still leaving as mad as I was when I arrived.
31:32 For me, it's just a disrespect for him to bring up my family
31:36 and to be like, "Oh, you're not my family."
31:38 He did that on purpose.
31:39 I know he did it on purpose just to piss me off.
31:41 You brought up my family.
31:42 You know what that means to me.
31:43 Don't you dare, don't you dare.
31:45 You're actually a prick.
31:46 You're actually being a prick today.
31:47 Right now, I'm fucking pissed off.
31:48 Ray's brought some hostile energy to this session.
31:51 I can see she's not being herself.
31:53 She's calling me out on my name.
31:54 I'm not here for that.
31:55 I'm not having that.
31:56 Don't try and be the victim.
31:57 Don't try and be the victim.
31:57 Fuck off, Sean.
31:58 No, victim?
31:59 I'm not being a victim.
32:00 You bring up my family.
32:02 How dare you?
32:02 How dare you?
32:03 Walk away.
32:04 Don't fucking play with me.
32:05 Do not do it.
32:06 Sean doesn't even know what's in store for him.
32:08 [MUSIC PLAYING]
32:10 [MUSIC - SOULZ, "MANGA"]
32:13 [RAPPING]
32:16 [MUSIC - SOULZ, "MANGA"]
32:20 [RAPPING]
32:23 Solomon is my guy, man, like, Soulz.
32:26 Good, one, two.
32:27 That's a quick one.
32:28 Good.
32:28 I've known him for about 10 years or some shit.
32:31 Yeah?
32:32 Tony's my brother.
32:33 That's my friend.
32:34 We're all deep.
32:34 Let's take it from there.
32:35 That's it, my man.
32:36 I'm stressed as well, man.
32:37 He gives me solid advice when I need it.
32:38 [MUSIC - SOULZ, "MANGA"]
32:41 His relationship with Marie, I don't think the best of it,
32:43 to be honest.
32:44 I'll be real.
32:44 I don't know how they're still together.
32:45 T can't see because he's in love with Marie.
32:47 But I can see from the outside, she's a dodgy character.
32:50 Bruh.
32:50 Feel for you.
32:51 You lot trying to turn my crazy, bro.
32:52 [SIGHS]
32:54 Jolly, my man.
32:55 Stresses of life, eh?
32:56 Bruh, for real, man.
32:57 From when she's been on the holidays,
32:58 when she's snapping cocktails, when she's doing a roll,
33:00 it's snapping.
33:00 Trying to make my boy jealous.
33:01 She's not good for him.
33:02 Bro, you know how I feel about this, bro.
33:04 You know I don't trust her.
33:05 Go protect yourself as well, bro.
33:06 Go protect that heart.
33:07 And that's why, like--
33:08 bro, forget the heart, bro.
33:09 The money.
33:10 That's why she's trying to sign papers and do all this shit,
33:11 bro, man.
33:12 I'm saying what?
33:13 She wants us to get married.
33:14 And she's adamant that I have to sign her fucking papers.
33:16 No, man.
33:17 And it's like--
33:17 Nick's session in therapy.
33:18 Own it.
33:19 I did say something mad, though.
33:20 But it wasn't like--
33:20 What did you say, T?
33:21 --about her.
33:22 It was just like women in general.
33:23 So I think I said something about me not wanting to be
33:26 with a girl that's got kids.
33:27 But she knows how I am.
33:28 So I don't understand why she just started balling up.
33:30 But what would you do if it was in this position?
33:33 If it was me, there's no way I could be in this position, bro.
33:35 She's getting kicked to the curb.
33:36 You know what I mean?
33:36 I ain't got time for that.
33:36 It's not like man's whipped or man's--
33:38 Bro, are you--
33:39 OK.
33:39 Are you whipped?
33:40 OK, I am whipped.
33:40 I am whipped, yeah.
33:41 I do love the girl.
33:42 All right, cool, cool.
33:42 But the girl actually does bring certain things to the table.
33:44 She's high maintenance, but she's got her head screwed on,
33:47 which 90% of the girls out there don't.
33:48 But it's just certain things just ain't going to work.
33:54 I just don't think you can trust her, bro.
33:56 What's happening, baby?
33:59 You all right?
33:59 I'm good.
33:59 How are you?
34:00 Oh, perfect.
34:01 You all right?
34:01 I'm good.
34:02 Mm.
34:02 You're not going to say hi?
34:05 Me?
34:06 I'm jumping in the shower.
34:07 Seeing Solomon right now is like the most annoying thing ever.
34:10 Like, first of all, what are you doing here?
34:12 After God, they're women.
34:14 I don't really like being in the same room as Marie.
34:16 You can just sense the empties off.
34:17 Things go quiet.
34:18 Tension's high.
34:19 This guy literally never has anything good to say about me.
34:22 This is my perfect opportunity to finally hear what he has to say to my face for once.
34:27 What's your issue with me?
34:29 You know how I feel about you already.
34:32 Let's not do this.
34:32 How do you feel?
34:33 I actually don't know.
34:33 All I hear is you yapping, yapping, being a bitch about it behind my back.
34:36 So what's the issue?
34:37 You're bookie.
34:37 You're dodgy.
34:38 Are you fucking stupid?
34:38 You're dodgy.
34:39 How am I--
34:39 You're dodgy.
34:40 Holiday, when you was in Miami, you were snapping.
34:41 No dashboard, babe.
34:42 Who was you with?
34:43 Who are you, though?
34:44 I should be answering to you.
34:44 You're a dodgy girl.
34:45 I could never be with you.
34:46 There's no way.
34:47 I don't want to be with you.
34:48 I do not want to be with someone like you.
34:49 What the fuck are you talking about?
34:50 I'm just looking at you.
34:51 You're bookie, man.
34:52 Okay, and you're doing all the dishes.
34:53 He's still with me.
34:54 He's still with me.
34:54 He is.
34:55 Yeah, he is.
34:55 He's still with me.
34:56 He's not got sense.
34:57 I need you gone.
34:58 I need you gone.
34:58 I actually need you gone.
34:58 You're actually a waste, man.
34:59 I'm shouting, bro.
35:00 You're actually a fucking waste, man.
35:01 You're a stupid, fucking bitch.
35:03 Let me shout at you, bro.
35:04 I can't lie.
35:06 I was pissed.
35:07 Oh, fucking hell.
35:09 Why are you throwing water at him, bro?
35:10 Are you all right?
35:10 Marie, don't attack the mandem.
35:15 Bro, you need to leave this girl, man.
35:16 I told you already.
35:17 He's not going anywhere.
35:18 I can't even trust her, bro.
35:19 Bye, see you.
35:20 Don't drop.
35:21 Stupid idiot.
35:21 So this is what I'm saying with this girl.
35:23 She's just drama.
35:23 Why are you back?
35:25 T, we're meant to go somewhere as well, man.
35:26 You're just taking time, man.
35:27 You guys are not going anywhere.
35:27 Don't you get it?
35:28 Leave.
35:29 Bro, leave.
35:30 Leave.
35:31 Nobody wants you here.
35:32 You don't want to hear it.
35:33 Nobody wants you here.
35:33 Dumb bitch, bro.
35:34 Nobody wants you here.
35:35 This is what you're going to deal with, bro.
35:36 You never take a girl like me.
35:37 You're putting T in a very awkward situation.
35:39 It proves what I've said.
35:40 Man, where are you going, bro?
35:41 I'll be right back.
35:42 You've got a gun, man.
35:42 He's coming back.
35:43 You've got a gun.
35:43 He's coming back.
35:44 Yeah, man.
35:45 This shit is just getting out of hand now, man.
35:47 Bro.
35:47 I'm sorry, boss.
35:49 She's not a kid, bro.
35:49 I can't do that.
35:50 I'm mad as fuck.
35:50 Bro.
35:51 Bye.
35:51 Oh, she's back.
35:52 Patting your girl.
35:53 Let's go, let's go, babe.
35:54 Let's go.
35:54 Okay, okay.
35:55 Will you, one second.
35:55 Just give me a sec.
35:56 I'll be right with you.
35:56 Dodgy.
35:57 Just give me a sec.
35:57 Are you going to let him just flip me like that, though?
35:59 Bro, I'll be like, I'll handle everything.
36:00 I'll handle water or meat.
36:01 He's lucky that he only got water, to be honest.
36:03 And that's only because it was conveniently right in front of me.
36:06 Trust and believe, if there was anything else,
36:07 he would have gotten all of that because he fucking deserves it.
36:09 I knew my man.
36:10 So what do you mean?
36:11 I can never be with someone like you.
36:12 You could never get someone like me.
36:13 It's not me.
36:14 Come on, man.
36:14 Live in your wildest dreams.
36:16 My friends, they all think she's up to no good a lot of the time.
36:20 Up to no good?
36:21 You will never, ever in your life be with all your friends and I'll be here.
36:23 He's making it sound like I'm just going to be spreading my legs and showing my pussy.
36:26 I just want it like a normal--
36:27 Girlfriend.
36:28 So go back to your fucking little ex with that.
36:30 Her giving my friend social media contact is basically like her sucking a dick.
36:33 Now the lies are out, are you able to get past it?
36:35 There is actually one other issue.
36:36 I think that Lauren is in love with her friend.
36:38 What?
36:38 Bro, why are you getting twisted?
36:39 Where you going?
36:40 Where you going?