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FunTranscript
00:00 [music playing]
00:03 [whistle]
00:17 Yee-haw!
00:18 [sneezes]
00:20 [growls]
00:21 [thunder]
00:24 Howdy, strangers.
00:28 Now, I ain't aiming to pick no argument or nothing.
00:31 Understand it.
00:33 'Cause anybody knows them old kivvered wagons
00:36 look powerful slow creaking and groaning across them planes.
00:41 But let me tell you about one of them wagon trains
00:44 that sought a speed record back in '48.
00:48 Or was it '49?
00:50 Ain't been busted yet.
00:52 No, sirree.
00:53 Not even by one of your dad-blasted aerial planes.
00:57 Now, we were just leaving Nebraska, going into Florida.
01:02 Hold on there.
01:03 Weren't Florida.
01:07 We're, uh, Pennsylvania.
01:11 Well, anyways, I was up ahead scouting for engines
01:15 on my old horse, Hamlet.
01:24 Called him Hamlet 'cause he had a pretty bad case of stage fright.
01:29 Well, we kept pushing west through New York.
01:33 Buffalo, New York.
01:35 When, doggone, my britches, if it we ain't spotted
01:39 by them there pesky redskins.
01:42 (train whistle blowing)
01:44 Bug!
01:57 (train whistle blowing)
01:59 No!
02:11 Weren't I ever engine in these whole United States
02:15 gathered for a powwow?
02:17 They were all of them there.
02:20 A Blackfoot, an old patchy chief,
02:24 yep, an old credit horse,
02:27 and a Cleveland engine.
02:30 Then come big chief brain in the face.
02:34 Bug!
02:45 (chanting)
02:48 (chanting)
02:51 (chanting)
02:54 (chanting)
02:56 (chanting)
02:58 (chanting)
03:00 (chanting)
03:03 (chanting)
03:06 (chanting)
03:09 (upbeat music)
03:11 (upbeat music)
03:13 (upbeat music)
03:29 (upbeat music)
03:31 (upbeat music)
03:48 (upbeat music)
03:50 (upbeat music)
03:57 (upbeat music)
04:13 (upbeat music)
04:15 (upbeat music)
04:23 (upbeat music)
04:28 Indian!
04:32 Indians!
04:33 (upbeat music)
04:40 We'll really caulk with our flat foot.
04:43 (upbeat music)
04:45 (snoring)
04:57 (upbeat music)
05:01 (upbeat music)
05:08 (upbeat music)
05:10 (screaming)
05:22 (upbeat music)
05:25 I was knocking them off like flies.
05:35 (upbeat music)
05:37 And another engine bit the dust.
05:42 (upbeat music)
05:44 They threw everything at us but the kitchen sink.
05:56 All of a sudden we had come out ammunition.
06:01 Our goose sure was cooked.
06:03 We was goners, dead ducks, wiped out, massacred.
06:07 (upbeat music)
06:12 Hey, wait a minute.
06:19 Whoa, hold on there.
06:21 Just when we was about to give up, long come a tornado.
06:25 A twisting and a turning and a swallowing up everything.
06:30 Just like one of them new fangled vacuum cleaners.
06:33 Swallowed up every last one of them, wagons and all.
06:37 (upbeat music)
06:39 Well partner, that old tornado just took us
06:43 across them plains and mountains
06:45 quicker than you could say Jack Robinson.
06:47 (laughing)
06:48 Some of us settled in Oregon and Nevada and in California
06:52 and some of us went a little too far west.
06:55 So long strangers, don't take no wooden engines.
06:59 (upbeat music)
07:01 (upbeat music)
07:03 (upbeat music)
07:05 [BLANK_AUDIO]