Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00 [no audio]
00:05 [music]
00:25 Stand by everybody as we turn the calendar back 500 years and bring you the 123rd running of the Canterbury Tournament at Blunderstone Castle.
00:31 The weather is clear, the turf is fast, and it looks as if all attendance records will be smashed to smithereens this afternoon.
00:36 Yes sirree!
00:37 [music]
00:42 Red hot plum pudding, hot pudding too.
00:46 Get your programs here folks, you can't hear one night from another without a program.
00:51 To the winner of this world famous tournament today will go riches, honor and glory and the frail white delicate hand of the lovely Princess Esmeralda.
00:58 Fairest flower in all the kingdom.
01:00 [music]
01:05 What a prize for stout-hearted knights to do and die for.
01:08 And now we take you to the dressing room of the challenger, Sir Loinsday.
01:11 14 points of brawn, muscle and courage.
01:13 Blonde and blue eyed, ready to pit his strength against the champion for the heavyweight cast iron slugging title of the British Empire.
01:19 [music]
01:22 And here we have the little man who ever since early morning has been preparing his knight for the big day.
01:27 Introducing Cedric, the loyal and humble servant who dreams of some afternoon when he too will become a knight and face death for the smile of a lovely princess.
01:35 [music]
01:37 But today Cedric's duty is to see to it that his master is completely overhauled.
01:40 Valves ground, new piston rings, brakes re-lined, body simonized and a complete change of oil.
01:45 [music]
02:01 The big moment is drawing close now. The crowd is on his toes and yelling for action.
02:05 And we go into final preparations for the big event.
02:07 The all important last minute touches that may very well snatch victory from defeat.
02:11 [music]
02:13 Uh oh, hurry Cedric, hurry.
02:15 [music]
02:24 Get rid of it stupid, anywhere, under the rug.
02:27 We've no time to lose. Before you can say Jack Robinson and the two sturdy gladiators will be out there.
02:31 Hurry up Cedric.
02:32 Slugging it out for the championship.
02:34 The betting is 4 to 1 in favor of the champion but the challenger is going in there with all the confidence in the world.
02:38 And there may be an upset if Salonis can turn the tables.
02:40 It's only a matter of seconds now before the two armor plated contestants meet face to face on the field of honor.
02:45 The last minute preparations.
02:46 But wait folks, something's gone wrong here.
02:48 Sir Loinstick is out, completely out, a cold night.
02:51 There's been a slip up and it looks as though the tournament may be off.
02:53 But there's still Cedric.
02:55 Look here Cedric, you're in the armor now.
02:57 Fate has smiled upon you.
02:58 Lucky stiff, this is your big chance.
03:01 Just imagine you Cedric can be a hero and win the glory, the riches and the honor.
03:05 To say nothing of the fair hand of the princess Esmeralda.
03:07 Think of it Cedric, the chance of a lifetime.
03:11 And now coming out of the field, that night of nights, circumference, the champion.
03:17 Old iron pants they call him, never lost his seat in combat.
03:24 But many a gallant knight has gone down to defeat 'neath the hooves of his trusty war horse.
03:28 And here we have the challenger.
03:31 It's the loyal Cedric doubling for Salonis.
03:33 Willing to do or die for his master.
03:35 Or could it be the fair princess Esmeralda?
03:38 Looks like love at first sight.
03:46 With an inspiration like this, how could anyone fail?
03:49 Easy there Cedric, easy does it.
03:55 And now the knights and horses are in the starting gate.
03:57 They're all ready. Battle stations, visors down, lances set.
04:00 Any minute now.
04:02 Although circumference the champion is the odds on paper,
04:04 ladies and gentlemen, anything can happen out here this afternoon.
04:07 And probably will.
04:08 The crowd is waiting for the starting signal.
04:10 It's just a matter of seconds now.
04:11 The fans are on their toes.
04:12 And here they go.
04:14 The champion is going to the front.
04:16 And here comes Cedric the challenger.
04:17 Both boys are moving in at a furious pace.
04:19 It's going to be ghastly.
04:20 They're moving closer now.
04:21 Cedric is on the rail.
04:22 Here's the champion.
04:23 They're coming up the line of scrimmage.
04:24 [horse whinnies]
04:26 [horn blows]
04:31 It's all over, it's all over.
04:34 With circumference the winner and still champion.
04:38 Bravo, bravo.
04:40 Boo!
04:43 Boo!
04:45 But just a minute folks.
04:47 Hold your horses.
04:48 What's this?
04:49 Yes, it is.
04:50 Believe it or not, little old Cedric is in there again.
04:52 What a fighting heart.
04:54 And now the champion sets himself for another charge.
04:56 There's the wind-up, the pitch, and the champion connects.
04:59 It's a line drive going over third base.
05:01 No, a long foul ball into the left field reaches.
05:04 But little Cedric is right back in there again.
05:06 It's a hot night we have out there this afternoon.
05:09 But the champion is on his toes too.
05:12 And that's a mighty fistful of sword he has there.
05:14 And this time he means business.
05:15 He's going in for the kill.
05:17 Poor little old Cedric.
05:18 This really looks like the beginning of the end, folks.
05:20 No night living could stand up under this powerhouse of tension.
05:23 It may be the kid's last ride, but he's right in there pitching.
05:26 And he connects.
05:27 What a sock this little fella packs.
05:29 And the champ rocks back on his heels.
05:31 Little Cedric sure sprung a surprise that time.
05:33 But the champion is splashing back now with a right and a left.
05:38 A right and a left.
05:39 He's making every blow count.
05:40 One, two, three, go!
05:42 No holes barred in this battle.
05:44 There's a smashing right and Cedric loses his head for a moment.
05:49 [crowd cheering]
05:51 But now the champion takes one on the noggin.
05:53 The champ is taking a little more time now.
05:58 He's lost a little bit of his confidence.
05:59 This challenger is no green bubble.
06:01 He moves in and lets fly with a whirlwind attack.
06:03 A left, a right, a left, a right, right, left, right, left.
06:05 Champ is throwing everything he's got at him, Cedric.
06:07 Now what's holding this kid up?
06:09 He can't take this bombardment much longer.
06:11 Why doesn't somebody stop this order?
06:13 It just don't seem human.
06:14 It's unbearable.
06:15 There ought to be a law.
06:17 The whole suit will have to be scrapped, including Cedric.
06:19 But wait, the champion seems to be tiring.
06:28 Those sledgehammer blows are losing some of their steam.
06:30 The champ is breathing hard now.
06:32 Then again, we take you back inside with Cedric.
06:34 Plenty cool, this boy.
06:36 But wait, something's happening out there.
06:38 Let's have a look-see.
06:39 Could it be that old iron pants is beginning to weaken?
06:41 Yes, he reels in his saddle.
06:43 It looks like he's going down.
06:44 Yes, he's down, he's down!
06:46 And that wraps it up, folks.
06:48 The winner and new champion, little old Cedric.
06:51 Well, that's the way it goes, folks.
06:53 Champ one day, champ the next.
06:55 What a day for a night, and what a night for a day.
06:59 [music]
07:06 [BLANK_AUDIO]