Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (2009)

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Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (also known as Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian or just Night at the Museum 2) is a 2009 American fantasy comedy film written by Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon, produced by Chris Columbus, Michael Barnathan and Shawn Levy and directed by Levy. The film stars Ben Stiller in the lead role, Amy Adams, Owen Wilson, Steve Coogan, Hank Azaria, Christopher Guest, Alain Chabat, Jon Bernthal, Rami Malek, and Robin Williams. It is the second installment in the Night at the Museum series, following the original film. The film was released theatrically on May 22, 2009 by 20th Century Fox. Like its predecessor, it received mixed reviews and became a box office success, grossing $413 million on a $150 million budget.

Transcript

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00:03:33 >> What if this was your house?

00:03:35 Powers out, lights are dead.

00:03:36 Your little ones in their bunk bed down the hall crying out.

00:03:38 >> Mommy, daddy, go quick, I'm scared.

00:03:41 >> You need to get there and fast.

00:03:42 You'll need a weapon.

00:03:44 But first, you'll need a flashlight.

00:03:46 But you're in the dark.

00:03:47 What are you gonna do?

00:03:48 How are you gonna find it?

00:03:49 I'll tell you how.

00:03:50 The glow in the dark flashlight.

00:03:52 That's right, folks.

00:03:53 I'm Larry Daly of Daly Devices.

00:03:55 And we're gonna spend the next paid programming block rocking your world.

00:03:59 And I brought along a friend to do it.

00:04:01 George Foreman, ladies and gentlemen.

00:04:03 [APPLAUSE]

00:04:04 >> Fantastic, Larry, fantastic.

00:04:06 Isn't he fantastic, America?

00:04:08 [APPLAUSE]

00:04:13 >> But seriously, isn't it true that just two years ago you were working as a night guard at some dusty museum?

00:04:19 >> That is true, two-time world heavyweight champ George Foreman.

00:04:22 I was just a regular Joe with a flashlight and a dream.

00:04:26 >> You mean a regular Larry.

00:04:28 [LAUGHTER]

00:04:37 >> But what's no joke is you're a CEO of Daly Devices, creator of such indispensable items as the super big dog bone.

00:04:46 [APPLAUSE]

00:04:47 >> You like that one?

00:04:48 >> The unlosable key ring.

00:04:50 >> Oh, yeah, that little chestnut.

00:04:52 >> And now your latest breakthrough.

00:04:54 Say it with me, America.

00:04:56 >> The wall with the Bart flashlight.

00:04:59 [APPLAUSE]

00:05:02 >> Whenever the household crisis, these Daly Devices can help you.

00:05:04 >> Gina, give this back to Stuart.

00:05:06 I don't trust this man.

00:05:07 >> That guy called again.

00:05:08 >> Again?

00:05:09 >> Blair, huge news.

00:05:11 We got the Walmart meeting.

00:05:13 >> No.

00:05:14 When?

00:05:15 >> Three days.

00:05:16 >> Okay, all right.

00:05:17 I've got a lot of work to do.

00:05:18 >> Well, okay, did you just hear me say wall and Bart together?

00:05:21 >> Yeah, no, I know, it's huge.

00:05:23 >> Don't.

00:05:24 >> I'm happy about it.

00:05:25 >> All right.

00:05:26 >> Hey, you're totally making fun of me.

00:05:28 >> Let's hold off on the victory until we close, okay?

00:05:30 >> You got it.

00:05:32 >> And when does he want to meet?

00:05:33 >> They want Friday morning, 10 a.m.

00:05:35 >> Okay, then, you know what?

00:05:36 Cancel that pitch for the electric saw thing with the propeller.

00:05:39 I just want to focus on this.

00:05:40 Just this.

00:05:41 >> My daughter's birthday, cancel.

00:05:42 [ Music ]

00:05:56 >> You can go home.

00:05:57 We're going to be pretty late, okay?

00:05:58 >> Okay, boss.

00:05:59 [ Music ]

00:06:14 >> Hello, excuse me.

00:06:15 Unauthorized personnel.

00:06:17 Oh, isn't our very own Mr. Success Story.

00:06:20 Come for one of your nostalgia tours?

00:06:22 I haven't seen you for a few months.

00:06:24 >> Yeah, I've been busy.

00:06:26 >> What's going on here?

00:06:28 >> Progress.

00:06:30 So they tell me.

00:06:31 The future.

00:06:33 Behold, natural history, version 2.0.

00:06:37 [ Music ]

00:06:44 >> Welcome to the Museum of Natural History, where history comes to life.

00:06:47 Step up, ask your question, then let the next little boy or girl have their turn.

00:06:54 >> Okay.

00:06:55 Where were you born?

00:06:57 >> Right here in New York City on 20th Street, October 27th, the year of our Lord, 1858.

00:07:02 [ Mumbling ]

00:07:05 >> Blah, blah, blah.

00:07:06 History, history, learning, learning.

00:07:09 Changing America one child at a time.

00:07:12 >> Great.

00:07:13 So you're adding some new interactive exhibits?

00:07:15 >> No, Mr. Daly, not adding.

00:07:17 Replacing the old exhibits.

00:07:19 >> Where are they going?

00:07:20 >> Away.

00:07:21 Getting rid of all this junk.

00:07:23 The deer armors, the waxworks, even some of the shabbier animals, like this scrawny little monkey.

00:07:29 >> You should be careful.

00:07:30 He's a capuchin.

00:07:32 >> He's a monkey?

00:07:33 >> He's a rare breed.

00:07:34 He's a capuchin.

00:07:35 He's not just a monkey.

00:07:37 >> Monkey, then.

00:07:38 I said monkey.

00:07:39 Why be specific?

00:07:40 When you're throwing away a monkey, you don't need the Latin name.

00:07:42 >> Are you throwing him away or are you moving him?

00:07:44 >> What are you, the primate garbage police?

00:07:46 Let it go, baby.

00:07:48 >> Whose idea was this?

00:07:50 >> Me, of course.

00:07:51 I'm in charge.

00:07:52 I need the board.

00:07:54 Anyway, why do you care?

00:07:56 >> No, it's just people love this stuff.

00:07:59 >> People, Mr. Daly, love what's next.

00:08:03 You should know that.

00:08:04 You left.

00:08:05 >> My situation changed.

00:08:06 My business took off.

00:08:07 >> Yeah, you became a success.

00:08:08 So would I if I was a night guard.

00:08:10 >> So where are these guys going?

00:08:12 >> Deep storage.

00:08:14 Federal archives.

00:08:16 >> Where's that?

00:08:17 >> Washington, D.C.

00:08:19 The Smithsonian.

00:08:21 >> There's got to be something that we can do.

00:08:22 >> It's done.

00:08:25 They leave tomorrow morning.

00:08:27 It's over.

00:08:30 [♪♪♪]

00:08:34 [♪♪♪]

00:08:38 [♪♪♪]

00:08:41 >> Hey.

00:09:05 Hey, buddy, how you doing, huh?

00:09:07 How you doing with all this?

00:09:09 You want what's in here, huh?

00:09:11 I got something for you.

00:09:13 You think I got a little rope, huh?

00:09:15 You think you're stronger than me, huh?

00:09:17 Whoa!

00:09:18 You got it, huh?

00:09:20 Whoa!

00:09:21 Whoa!

00:09:22 Aah!

00:09:23 [thud]

00:09:24 [panting]

00:09:26 [♪♪♪]

00:09:29 [♪♪♪]

00:09:32 [thud]

00:09:33 [thud]

00:09:34 [thud]

00:09:35 [thud]

00:09:36 [thud]

00:09:37 >> Lance!

00:09:38 >> Good to see you, Lance.

00:09:40 >> Yeah, you too, Teddy.

00:09:42 >> The guardian of Brooklyn has returned.

00:09:44 >> Hey, huh?

00:09:45 Hey, look, McPhee told me what's going on around here.

00:09:47 I had no idea.

00:09:48 >> Indeed.

00:09:49 A lot has transpired, Lawrence, since your last visit.

00:09:51 One would say that--

00:09:53 [beeping]

00:09:54 Oh.

00:09:55 Cricket.

00:09:57 >> Hey, Bozipan!

00:09:59 Little help over here!

00:10:03 >> Hey.

00:10:05 Hey, fellas.

00:10:07 How you doing?

00:10:09 >> Well, looky here.

00:10:11 If it ain't Mr. Big in the britches himself.

00:10:13 Come back just in time to see us all.

00:10:16 >> Yeah, Jed, I heard.

00:10:17 Look, I don't even know how this happened.

00:10:19 [phone buzzing]

00:10:20 Yeah, yeah, real mystery how this happened.

00:10:23 >> Maybe the answer's on that magic buzzing box

00:10:25 there in your hand.

00:10:27 >> You weren't here, Gigantor.

00:10:29 That's how it happened.

00:10:30 Ain't no mystery.

00:10:32 >> The fact is, Larry, there's no one else here to speak on our behalf

00:10:35 during business hours.

00:10:36 >> Nun-nun.

00:10:37 Dum-dum.

00:10:38 >> Oh!

00:10:39 >> Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:10:41 >> Hey, guys.

00:10:42 It's okay.

00:10:43 I'll call the board in the morning, all right?

00:10:45 I got some pull now.

00:10:46 I'll handle this.

00:10:47 >> We're gonna be okay here.

00:10:48 >> We?

00:10:49 You hear that?

00:10:50 You hear Daydream Johnny?

00:10:51 There ain't been a "we" ever since you put us on the pay no mind list.

00:10:54 And that's a cold place to be, boy.

00:10:57 >> Larry, what's done is done.

00:11:01 Even the glory of Rome had to come to an end.

00:11:05 >> Would you please not look dramatically off into the middle distance

00:11:08 when you say that?

00:11:09 It makes me feel worse.

00:11:10 >> I don't know what you're talking about.

00:11:12 >> Where are you looking?

00:11:14 Where are you looking?

00:11:15 I'm over here.

00:11:18 >> Just a bit of wall.

00:11:20 >> Look, guys, maybe it won't be so bad.

00:11:22 >> I'm not looking at the wall.

00:11:24 I'm looking at the sky.

00:11:25 >> Yes, you make a good point.

00:11:27 But this is the Smithsonian we're talking about here.

00:11:30 Dexter, you don't know that.

00:11:32 >> You're missing the point, Gigantor.

00:11:35 They're shipping us out.

00:11:37 >> Larry, I know you're trying to make us feel better.

00:11:39 I can see that you're genuinely slightly bothered.

00:11:42 But it's never going to be the same, all of us here together in this place.

00:11:47 >> It ain't never gonna be home, boy.

00:11:51 These are emotional times for all of us.

00:11:54 But it is our last night as a family, and I don't want to see it squandered in self-pity.

00:12:00 So who will join me for one final stroll through these hallowed halls?

00:12:05 [Groaning]

00:12:08 >> Do you want to go for a walk?

00:12:09 >> No.

00:12:10 I'm just going to squander it in self-pity.

00:12:14 >> I dare you.

00:12:15 Shall we?

00:12:16 [Groaning]

00:12:44 >> Safe journey, my friend.

00:12:49 >> Hey, Dexter, want some help there?

00:12:53 Ow!

00:12:54 Ah!

00:12:56 Hey, come on, man.

00:12:57 No hard feelings, all right?

00:12:59 It's going to be fine.

00:13:00 [Laughing]

00:13:03 >> It's almost dawn, Lawrence.

00:13:06 >> Yeah.

00:13:07 So where's your crate, Teddy?

00:13:09 >> I won't be making this journey, Lawrence.

00:13:11 It seems myself, Rexy, and a few of the signature exhibits will be staying here for now.

00:13:18 >> Without the tablet?

00:13:21 >> In truth, Lawrence, Achman Rostov will be remaining here with him.

00:13:32 >> What?

00:13:33 >> They're going without the tablet, my friend.

00:13:36 I'm afraid this night is their last.

00:13:41 >> You didn't tell them?

00:13:43 >> Sometimes it's more noble to tell a small lie than deliver a painful truth.

00:14:02 Are you going to be okay?

00:14:04 >> I should do my best.

00:14:08 >> And who knows?

00:14:10 Sometimes the greatest change brings about even greater opportunity.

00:14:14 Look at you, Lawrence.

00:14:15 You left this place and created quite a life for yourself.

00:14:22 >> Yeah, I guess so.

00:14:24 >> I should hope you do more than guess, my friend.

00:14:26 You're a captain of industry.

00:14:28 The world at your fingertips.

00:14:30 Seems to me you have everything you wanted.

00:14:32 >> Yeah, no, I know.

00:14:34 >> No, you don't.

00:14:36 If I may, lad, allow me to offer you one piece of advice.

00:14:41 The key to happiness, to true happiness, is --

00:14:45 [ Cellphone ringing ]

00:14:47 >> One second.

00:14:48 I've got to -- I've got this Japanese deal.

00:14:54 Okay, I'm trying this off.

00:14:56 Sorry.

00:14:57 The key to happiness --

00:15:10 >> See you, Teddy.

00:15:39 >> So they're gone?

00:15:40 There's nothing you can do?

00:15:41 >> I wish there was, man.

00:15:42 I'm telling you, I tried everything.

00:15:44 I talked to McPhee, I called the board, but they shipped them out this morning.

00:15:48 >> This is a lot of food, Dad.

00:15:50 >> Yeah, Ed from work is going to come by.

00:15:52 I thought I told you.

00:15:53 We just have to go over a couple of work things.

00:15:55 >> So you're working tonight.

00:15:57 >> I used to work every night, remember?

00:15:59 >> That was like when you had the coolest job in the world.

00:16:01 >> Yeah, well, cool doesn't pay for your guitar god six or whatever.

00:16:05 >> Hello?

00:16:06 >> It's me, Jed.

00:16:12 >> Jed?

00:16:13 Jed, how did you dial the phone?

00:16:15 >> Long story.

00:16:16 That brazen little monkey stole the tablet and now we're in a world of hurt, boy.

00:16:19 >> What's going on?

00:16:20 >> Common raw.

00:16:21 >> Common raw?

00:16:22 >> Common raw's big brother.

00:16:24 He's here and trust me, not a friendly.

00:16:26 I repeat, not a friendly.

00:16:28 >> Is that Attila?

00:16:29 Jed?

00:16:30 Jed?

00:16:31 Are you okay?

00:16:32 Hey, Jed.

00:16:34 Jed?

00:16:37 >> What was that about?

00:16:44 >> I don't know.

00:16:47 Come on.

00:16:48 I'm going to drop you off at your mom's.

00:16:49 >> What's going on, dad?

00:16:50 >> I'm going to go find out.

00:16:53 Okay, buddy, McPhee said the federal archives are in the Smithsonian.

00:16:56 Where exactly am I going?

00:16:58 >> That's the thing, dad.

00:16:59 The Smithsonian is actually 19 different museums.

00:17:02 They're laid out around the national mall.

00:17:04 From the capital to the Lincoln memorial.

00:17:06 They got everything there.

00:17:08 There's actually some really cool stuff.

00:17:10 >> Mickey, please focus.

00:17:12 Which museum are the archives in?

00:17:13 >> Not in.

00:17:14 Under.

00:17:15 It looks like it runs underneath the entire Smithsonian.

00:17:17 >> So if common raw's tablet is down there --

00:17:19 >> The biggest museum in the world is coming to life.

00:17:22 >> What exactly is your plan here, dad?

00:17:24 >> Don't worry about it.

00:17:25 >> You have no plan, do you?

00:17:26 >> Now, Nicholas, I have a very good, highly thought out plan.

00:17:29 >> You have no plan.

00:17:30 >> Yes, I have no plan.

00:17:32 I'll call you when I'm in.

00:17:33 [ Music ]

00:18:01 >> Welcome to the biggest museum in the world.

00:18:03 I know, right?

00:18:04 It's a trip.

00:18:05 How about these planes dangling from the ceilings, huh?

00:18:07 Pretty weird.

00:18:08 >> Hi.

00:18:09 Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to the federal archives?

00:18:11 >> Of course.

00:18:12 Just be a historical document worthy of storing for all eternity.

00:18:15 [ Laughter ]

00:18:17 I'm kidding.

00:18:18 He's not a document.

00:18:19 I'm sorry, sir.

00:18:20 The archives are underground, and they're a secure area.

00:18:23 >> Really?

00:18:24 Like, totally secure?

00:18:25 Okay.

00:18:26 Thank you.

00:18:27 [ Music ]

00:18:56 [ Music ]

00:19:10 >> Ladies and gentlemen, the museum will be closing in one hour.

00:19:14 [ Music ]

00:19:29 [ Music ]

00:19:57 >> Come in, Rob.

00:20:06 >> Hey.

00:20:07 >> What?

00:20:08 >> What are you doing?

00:20:10 No touching.

00:20:11 >> No, no, no.

00:20:12 I wasn't going to touch it.

00:20:13 >> You're moving in with some ITT, bro.

00:20:15 >> ITT?

00:20:16 >> It's intent to touch, homie.

00:20:18 >> No, I wasn't.

00:20:19 You're not allowed to go over there.

00:20:20 >> You're going to kiss it?

00:20:21 >> All right.

00:20:22 Sorry.

00:20:23 >> Put your hand on it and touch it, because I stand there, and I wait all day for a little girl like you to come in

00:20:26 and put her precious nail polish nails all over the exhibit.

00:20:29 >> You know, I'm sorry.

00:20:30 Last time I checked, I thought we lived in a free country, so.

00:20:32 >> No, we don't.

00:20:33 >> No?

00:20:34 >> It's the United States of don't touch that thing right in front of you.

00:20:36 >> I just want to -- I'm allowed to look at it here, okay?

00:20:38 >> See what happens when you touch it.

00:20:39 >> Oh, so you're threatening me.

00:20:40 You're threatening me?

00:20:41 Brandon?

00:20:42 >> It's Brundon.

00:20:43 >> Excuse me?

00:20:44 >> Brundon.

00:20:45 >> Brundon.

00:20:46 >> Bru-rundon.

00:20:47 >> Brundon.

00:20:48 What, did they run out of use on your name plate, maker?

00:20:50 >> I don't know.

00:20:51 Did they run out of jokes at the interesting joke store that you shop at?

00:20:53 >> Look, sorry, it's just -- it looks like Brandon.

00:20:56 >> I'm not here to be your speech therapist.

00:20:57 It's Brundon.

00:20:58 >> Brundon, okay.

00:20:59 >> You've never heard of the name before?

00:21:00 >> Brundon, no.

00:21:01 >> Look up most popular baby names in 1984.

00:21:03 Brundon.

00:21:04 >> Okay, are you threatening me, Brundon?

00:21:07 >> I don't know, Princess Jasmine, am I?

00:21:10 >> Oh, wow, Luna Bee 9-volt.

00:21:11 >> Yeah.

00:21:12 >> Wonderful piece of hardware, huh?

00:21:13 >> That's her title, Luna Bee 9.

00:21:14 >> Sweet, that's great.

00:21:15 Well, I prefer the Maglite LED myself, but, you know, that's just me.

00:21:17 >> Do me a huge favor.

00:21:18 >> What?

00:21:19 >> Shove your hands into your pockets.

00:21:21 Put your attitude way down.

00:21:23 And also, be nice to people.

00:21:25 >> Great.

00:21:26 Can I just ask you one thing?

00:21:28 >> Yeah.

00:21:29 >> Okay, so just to be clear, so I can't do this, right?

00:21:31 >> Okay, that's actually crazy.

00:21:33 Did you just make a decision to possibly end your life earlier than you were expecting?

00:21:36 I'm going to hit you with a flashlight.

00:21:37 >> Oh, now you are threatening me.

00:21:38 >> I think -- do not touch it.

00:21:39 >> Don't touch me.

00:21:40 >> Do not touch it.

00:21:41 >> Don't touch me.

00:21:42 >> Do not touch it.

00:21:43 >> Don't touch me.

00:21:44 >> I'll touch you with my flashlight all day.

00:21:45 >> No, no, you -- the flashlight is meant to illuminate.

00:21:46 >> I will literally rent a camper, and we will drive across America with my flashlight on your chest.

00:21:50 >> Don't do that.

00:21:51 >> Don't do what?

00:21:52 >> Don't do that.

00:21:53 >> Want to see what happens when I do it one more time?

00:21:54 >> Let's see what happens.

00:21:55 >> Watch you do nothing.

00:21:56 Let's watch you do nothing when I do this.

00:21:58 >> Seriously, Brandon, you do --

00:22:01 >> Brendan.

00:22:02 >> Brandon, you do not know who you're dealing with.

00:22:05 You think you know what it means to be a card.

00:22:07 Trust me, you don't know the meaning of the word.

00:22:10 I've seen things that you could not imagine.

00:22:13 Like what kind of stuff?

00:22:15 >> I'm not going to tell you, but you're going to drop the flashlight.

00:22:18 >> You said it just sounded like you were going to say something cool.

00:22:20 >> Yeah, well, you don't get to hear it.

00:22:22 >> Drop the flashlight.

00:22:24 >> You cool?

00:22:35 >> That was actually pretty cool what you just did.

00:22:37 >> Thank you.

00:22:38 No hard feelings.

00:22:40 All right.

00:22:41 >> Okay.

00:22:42 >> Sorry.

00:22:43 >> I'm sorry.

00:22:44 >> No, no, it's my fault.

00:22:45 I touched.

00:22:46 >> No, it takes two opposing forces to cause friction.

00:22:47 >> You're just doing your job.

00:22:48 All right.

00:22:49 Take it easy, man.

00:22:50 >> All right.

00:22:51 >> Well, what -- yeah.

00:22:53 That guy's great.

00:22:56 [ Music ]

00:23:00 [ Music ]

00:23:04 [ Music ]

00:23:08 [ Music ]

00:23:34 [ Music ]

00:23:37 >> Okay, buddy, I'm in.

00:23:41 >> Great.

00:23:42 Where are you?

00:23:43 >> Northeast corner of the castle, just off the commons.

00:23:45 >> I need you to talk me to the archives.

00:23:47 >> Okay.

00:23:48 At the end of the hall, turn right, and there should be a stairwell coming up on your left.

00:23:51 >> Got it.

00:23:52 >> Now, it's kind of a maze down there.

00:23:54 Those underground tunnels connect a bunch of different buildings.

00:23:57 It could get complicated.

00:23:58 >> We better hurry.

00:23:59 We only got 28 minutes until sundown.

00:24:01 >> When you get down to B level, you're going to want to take another left.

00:24:03 >> Nick?

00:24:04 Hello?

00:24:05 Nick?

00:24:06 >> Dad, he's getting here.

00:24:07 >> Nick?

00:24:08 Nick?

00:24:09 [ Music ]

00:24:10 [ Music ]

00:24:13 [ Music ]

00:24:15 >> I.D.?

00:24:37 Brunde?

00:24:38 >> Hey.

00:24:40 >> Later, dad.

00:24:42 >> All right.

00:24:44 [ Music ]

00:24:46 >> All right.

00:24:54 Where are you guys?

00:24:56 [ Music ]

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00:25:40 (door creaking)

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00:25:49 (dramatic music)

00:25:54 (dramatic music)

00:25:58 (dramatic music)

00:26:05 (dramatic music)

00:26:10 (door creaking)

00:26:17 (dramatic music)

00:26:20 - Oh my God.

00:26:27 (dramatic music)

00:26:32 (dramatic music)

00:26:37 (dramatic music)

00:26:46 (dramatic music)

00:26:49 (eerie music)

00:27:02 - Little troublemaker, I'm gonna deal with you later.

00:27:05 (eerie music)

00:27:09 (dramatic music)

00:27:11 (dramatic music)

00:27:25 (dramatic music)

00:27:37 (dramatic music)

00:27:40 (dramatic music)

00:27:46 (speaking in foreign language)

00:27:51 (speaking in foreign language)

00:28:01 - English, English perhaps.

00:28:07 I'm sorry, who are you?

00:28:09 - I am Khamun-Ra, the great king of the great kings,

00:28:14 and from the darkest depths of ancient history,

00:28:18 I have come back to life!

00:28:22 - Uh-huh.

00:28:24 - Perhaps you did not hear what Archer said.

00:28:29 I am a century-old Egyptian pharaoh.

00:28:32 I was dead,

00:28:35 but now I have come back to life!

00:28:38 - Yeah, no, I heard that, I got that.

00:28:42 - Welcome back.

00:28:43 - Who are you?

00:28:48 - Larry, Larry Daly, Daly Devices.

00:28:51 It's up in New York.

00:28:52 It's funny, I actually, I know your brother, Achman-Ra.

00:28:56 - Do you? - Yeah.

00:28:57 - Oh, he knew his baby brother, who was a favorite son.

00:29:01 - Yeah, good kid.

00:29:02 - Oh, isn't he just?

00:29:05 You know, mother and father always gave him

00:29:06 the best of everything, and I do mean everything.

00:29:09 They even gave him the throne,

00:29:11 the throne which was rightfully mine!

00:29:14 - I never mentioned that.

00:29:15 - Oh, I'll just bet he didn't.

00:29:17 Well, now begins the era of Khamun-Ra,

00:29:20 because I have come back to,

00:29:23 never mind, just hand me the tablet.

00:29:25 - Don't give it to him, Jack Antoine!

00:29:27 - Oh, silence, silence in there, please!

00:29:31 Don't make me come in there!

00:29:32 - No, I won't be muzzled!

00:29:34 - Look, that tablet is more powerful

00:29:37 than you, Larry Daly of Daly Devices,

00:29:40 can possibly imagine.

00:29:42 Bringing things back to life is just part of the trick.

00:29:46 With it, I shall unlock the gate to the underworld

00:29:49 and bring forth my army from the land of the dead.

00:29:53 So, if it's not too much trouble,

00:29:56 (swords clashing)

00:29:59 hand it over.

00:30:01 - Okay, here you go.

00:30:05 - Wise decision.

00:30:08 (swords clashing)

00:30:11 - Yeah, no, 'cause, I'm sorry,

00:30:12 I just, I thought you wanted the cube, but--

00:30:14 (swords clashing)

00:30:17 - The cube?

00:30:19 - The cube of Rubik.

00:30:23 - Rubik.

00:30:25 - All right.

00:30:28 What is this cube of Rubik, then?

00:30:32 - It's the cube, you know, it's the cube that

00:30:35 turns all who oppose you to dust.

00:30:37 That one?

00:30:38 Whatever, I thought, it's my bad, 'cause, you know what?

00:30:41 By the way, your brother, he didn't want to mess with it either.

00:30:44 Yeah, he wanted to play it safe, too.

00:30:45 Just, you sort of struck me as a next-level sort of guy,

00:30:48 so I was--

00:30:49 (swords clashing)

00:30:51 - Not my brother, Larry.

00:30:53 I will kill you and your friend in the blink of an eye.

00:30:58 Ha!

00:31:00 Now take me to this cube of Rubik.

00:31:04 - There it is. - Open it.

00:31:08 (swords clashing)

00:31:11 (sword clashing)

00:31:20 (swords clashing)

00:31:23 (swords clashing)

00:31:26 (swords clashing)

00:31:29 (swords clashing)

00:31:32 (swords clashing)

00:31:35 (swords clashing)

00:31:37 - Come back here, come back here with my tablet!

00:31:39 I still have your friend!

00:31:41 (speaking foreign language)

00:31:44 (dramatic music)

00:31:47 (screaming)

00:31:50 (dramatic music)

00:31:53 (screaming)

00:31:56 (dramatic music)

00:31:59 (growling)

00:32:02 (swords clashing)

00:32:05 (dramatic music)

00:32:08 (screaming)

00:32:11 (dramatic music)

00:32:14 (screaming)

00:32:17 (tires screeching)

00:32:19 - Take the wheel!

00:32:20 - What?

00:32:21 - I said take the wheel.

00:32:22 Oh, we're in it now, I love it, I love it!

00:32:25 Just keep her straight, I'll handle the rest.

00:32:27 Now, charge!

00:32:29 (dramatic music)

00:32:31 (engine revving)

00:32:34 (laughing)

00:32:35 - Okay, so what's the plan here?

00:32:37 - We're Americans, we don't plan, we do!

00:32:40 Now, pull out!

00:32:42 (dramatic music)

00:32:45 (cheering)

00:32:47 (laughing)

00:32:49 (growling)

00:32:52 See that?

00:32:53 At first, things later.

00:32:55 Works every time.

00:32:57 You're in good hands.

00:32:59 General George A. Custer, the fighting US 7th Cavalry,

00:33:02 at your service.

00:33:04 (cheering)

00:33:06 (dramatic music)

00:33:08 (speaking foreign language)

00:33:11 (tires screeching)

00:33:14 (dramatic music)

00:33:17 (tires screeching)

00:33:20 - What's the rumpus, Ace?

00:33:22 - Look, lady, could you get out of the way?

00:33:24 - Lady, who are you calling lady?

00:33:25 The name is Amelia.

00:33:27 (speaking foreign language)

00:33:30 (dramatic music)

00:33:33 - Amelia Earhart, perhaps you've heard of me?

00:33:35 - Oh, right, you're like this famous pilot, or whatever.

00:33:38 - Pilot?

00:33:39 I was the first woman to fly the Atlantic,

00:33:41 first woman to receive the Flying Cross,

00:33:43 first woman to fly across the 48 states in a gyro prop.

00:33:46 - And now if you'd wipe that perhaps permanent look

00:33:48 of alarm off your kisser, I was wondering if you might

00:33:50 be so kind as to tell me exactly where I am.

00:33:53 - You're in a museum.

00:33:54 Or actually, under it.

00:33:56 And I'm in kind of a dangerous situation right now,

00:33:59 so you might not want to be anywhere near me.

00:34:02 - Wow, you're fast.

00:34:05 - What's your name, fly boy?

00:34:07 - My name is Larry Daly.

00:34:09 - Well, Larry Daly, in case you weren't listening,

00:34:12 I'm not one to shy away from danger.

00:34:14 - How about Spears, you want to shy away from Spears?

00:34:18 (speaking foreign language)

00:34:19 - That's ankle skipper.

00:34:21 Now we're gonna have some fun.

00:34:23 (dramatic music)

00:34:26 - 98, 99, bingo.

00:34:31 Ah, like a golden fleece.

00:34:35 All right, troops.

00:34:37 When your enemies captured me,

00:34:39 they made themselves my enemies as well.

00:34:42 Big mistake, big mistake.

00:34:45 (men laughing)

00:34:47 All right, here's the plan.

00:34:50 On the third bugle blast, I shall loudly announce attack!

00:34:54 (men laughing)

00:34:57 At which point, we will all jump out of this box

00:35:04 and attack.

00:35:05 (dramatic music)

00:35:10 Boom, mind blown.

00:35:13 What do you think?

00:35:16 (men grunting)

00:35:18 You, (speaking foreign language)

00:35:21 - That is not my name.

00:35:22 - (speaking foreign language)

00:35:24 - No.

00:35:25 - (speaking foreign language)

00:35:26 - No.

00:35:27 - (speaking foreign language)

00:35:28 - I know you are a famous general.

00:35:30 - That's all right, that's all right,

00:35:31 I'm a person just like you.

00:35:33 - But won't yelling attack alert the enemy

00:35:35 that we are about to attack?

00:35:37 - What?

00:35:38 (laughing)

00:35:41 (snoring)

00:35:44 Oh yeah, I guess so.

00:35:49 (door opening)

00:35:53 That's one.

00:35:54 - You're quite the popular fellow, Mr. Daly.

00:35:57 Why don't you just skedaddle?

00:35:59 - I can't skedaddle, my friends are being held down there,

00:36:01 I gotta go get them.

00:36:02 I gotta find another way down.

00:36:04 Wow.

00:36:09 This is new.

00:36:16 - Hey, it's all right.

00:36:24 - I don't wanna hurt you.

00:36:26 - I don't think it's you they're afraid of, Mr. Daly.

00:36:31 (speaking foreign language)

00:36:33 - Whoa.

00:36:34 (speaking foreign language)

00:36:38 - Treat you, thanks.

00:36:40 - Back off.

00:36:41 Just back off.

00:36:43 I will fork you.

00:36:46 How about you, huh?

00:36:48 - Never seen a boy to do a woman's job.

00:36:53 I spent two weeks spear hunting with a tribe in Micronesia.

00:36:56 The Micronesians had much slower reflexes.

00:37:01 - Hi-ya, come on.

00:37:03 - Well, this is one humdinger of a hood, man.

00:37:19 - Excuse me, sorry, excuse me.

00:37:29 - Wow, four bars in 1945.

00:37:31 Hello?

00:37:32 - Dad, finally.

00:37:33 I've been sending these plans to the archives.

00:37:35 Looks like once you get down the stairwell--

00:37:37 - Oh, I'm way past the stairwell, Nicky.

00:37:39 - So you found everyone?

00:37:40 - Sort of.

00:37:41 - What is that flimsy witch you were talking to?

00:37:43 - Who's that?

00:37:44 - It's Amelia Earhart.

00:37:45 - You found Amelia Earhart?

00:37:47 - Hey, wait, hey, wait a minute, whoa.

00:37:49 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy, what's your hurry?

00:37:52 Didn't you hear?

00:37:53 The war's over.

00:37:54 - Sorry, these guys are chasing me.

00:37:55 - What?

00:37:56 What am I looking at, Mardi Gras?

00:37:58 - What unit are you from?

00:37:59 - I'm from Brooklyn.

00:38:01 - What, are you serious?

00:38:03 I'm from Flatbush.

00:38:04 - Hey, fellas, these so-and-sos are trying to rough up

00:38:07 my pal here just 'cause he's from Brooklyn.

00:38:09 - Thank you.

00:38:10 - You got it.

00:38:11 - Fight, get those guys.

00:38:13 - Hey, mister, you forgot your...

00:38:16 What the heck is this thing?

00:38:26 - Hey, you, not a cracker.

00:38:28 - Hey, excuse me, mind if I get in here?

00:38:32 - Any time you're done, Mr. Daly.

00:38:39 - Tommy!

00:38:41 - Thank you for that.

00:38:42 - You're quite the smooth operator, aren't you, Mr. Daly?

00:38:44 - Quick.

00:38:45 - That actually worked.

00:38:54 - What's next?

00:38:55 - Look, nothing personal, but I'm kind of in the middle

00:38:57 of something here that's not really your fight.

00:38:59 - It's because I'm a woman, isn't it?

00:39:01 - No, it's because I've got this ancient race

00:39:03 from the dead evil pharaoh guy who's willing to kill me

00:39:05 and probably anyone near me to get this tablet

00:39:07 so he can rule the world.

00:39:09 - So it is because I'm a woman.

00:39:11 - Look, I don't--

00:39:12 - No, you look, Mr. Daly.

00:39:13 If it weren't for me, you'd still be lost

00:39:14 in that monochromatic mayhem.

00:39:15 - Lost in what?

00:39:16 - The black and white photo, you boob.

00:39:18 Now listen, and listen good, I can help you.

00:39:20 I want to help you, and not because I like you,

00:39:22 which so far I don't, but because I smell adventure.

00:39:25 And dammit, I want in.

00:39:27 - Okay, don't blame me if something happens to you.

00:39:32 - I should be so lucky.

00:39:34 - I am Khamun-Raw.

00:39:37 I am half-god, once removed on my mother's side.

00:39:42 Rightful ruler of Egypt, future ruler of,

00:39:47 well, everything else.

00:39:50 Now, I have lost some men,

00:39:52 so I am in need of some new generals

00:39:56 to join me in my little plan of conquering this world.

00:40:01 I am the terrible,

00:40:03 Napoleon Bonaparte,

00:40:06 and young Al Capone,

00:40:09 some of the most despicable,

00:40:12 the most feared leaders in all of history.

00:40:16 Gentlemen.

00:40:19 Really, it's just, just fantastic to meet you all.

00:40:22 - And thus do we meet.

00:40:24 - All I ask is your allegiance,

00:40:26 and in return, I offer you the world, literally.

00:40:30 Are there any questions?

00:40:32 - Yeah, I got one.

00:40:33 How come you're wearing a dress?

00:40:35 - This is not a dress, this is a tunic.

00:40:38 It was the height of fashion 3,000 years ago, I assure you.

00:40:41 Are there any other questions?

00:40:43 - Da, this, um, dress you're wearing,

00:40:46 do we have to wear one of these, too?

00:40:49 - No, of course, we are not listening.

00:40:51 I just told Mr. Capone here that this is not a dress,

00:40:54 it is, in fact, a tunic.

00:40:56 Very big difference.

00:40:58 Are there any other questions?

00:41:01 Are there any questions not about the dress?

00:41:05 Tunic.

00:41:06 All right, then.

00:41:08 Moonlight is wasting, and the time is short.

00:41:10 - Short?

00:41:11 Why do you look at me when you say short?

00:41:15 - I, sorry, it's flipped out.

00:41:18 - Da, if we are talking about world domination,

00:41:24 then, of course, I am interested.

00:41:26 But first, I want to clarify something

00:41:28 so you know what you're getting.

00:41:30 People always say, "Ivan the Terrible,

00:41:32 "ooh, he's so terrible,

00:41:33 "ooh, I'm so scared of Ivan, he's bad news,"

00:41:36 when, in fact, the correct translation is

00:41:39 Ivan the Awesome.

00:41:43 - Ivan the Awesome?

00:41:45 That's not really as catchy as that.

00:41:48 Ivan the Terrible, that really pops.

00:41:51 - But I wasn't terrible.

00:41:52 In fact, I was quite an effective litter.

00:41:54 - Duly noted.

00:41:55 Now, I'd like to wrap up the old meet and greet

00:41:58 by asking you gentlemen a question.

00:42:00 Are you with me?

00:42:03 - Yeah. - Yeah, sure.

00:42:04 - Oui.

00:42:05 - D'Albert.

00:42:06 - Then bring Larry Daly of Daly Devices

00:42:09 and the Golden Tablet of Ocmuln-Ra to me!

00:42:13 - We'll get you back down to your chums, Mr. Daly.

00:42:18 You won't get lost following Amelia Earhart.

00:42:21 (men speaking in foreign language)

00:42:25 Well, well, Mr. Daly,

00:42:28 I quite like the way you're holding me.

00:42:30 - No, sorry, I wasn't, I wasn't trying to--

00:42:34 - Oh, please stop eating your gums, Mr. Daly.

00:42:36 You haven't been able to take your cheaters off my chassis

00:42:38 since the moment we met.

00:42:39 - I literally didn't understand one word of that.

00:42:43 (soft music)

00:42:44 (men speaking in foreign language)

00:42:47 - Is it just me, or is there music in the air?

00:42:51 - Hey, hey, shh, shh.

00:42:54 You little flying angel thing, quiet.

00:42:57 - They're cupids, Mr. Daly, gods of love.

00:43:00 - Great, gods of love, would you shut up?

00:43:02 Would you shut up?

00:43:03 We're trying to hide.

00:43:04 ♪ A gift, more than a woman ♪

00:43:07 ♪ A gift, more than a woman ♪

00:43:08 - No, no, don't change the arrangement.

00:43:10 ♪ More than a woman ♪

00:43:11 - It's not about the arrangement, just quiet, shh.

00:43:13 ♪ More than a woman ♪

00:43:14 - Kick the course, y'all.

00:43:15 ♪ More than a woman ♪

00:43:17 - Yo, show me what you got, night guard.

00:43:19 ♪ More than a woman to me ♪

00:43:23 (men speaking in foreign language)

00:43:24 ♪ More than a woman ♪

00:43:26 ♪ She's more than a woman ♪

00:43:29 (dramatic music)

00:43:32 - Whoa.

00:43:33 (dramatic music)

00:43:34 - And so, the little tiny man

00:43:37 who could not be a smaller or shorter mouse

00:43:40 runs into the claws of the giant cat.

00:43:43 - Wow, you're really hung up on the height, aren't you?

00:43:45 - No, it's not about height, see.

00:43:47 - Yes, you are, you're saying I'm a little mouse,

00:43:48 you're a giant cat.

00:43:49 - I'm the giant cat.

00:43:51 - No offense, I just, you know,

00:43:53 you're Napoleon, it's like a complex named after you.

00:43:55 You're famous for being little.

00:43:56 - It's true.

00:43:57 - Look, hey.

00:43:58 - Oh, you naive American man boy.

00:44:00 - Look, neither of us are gonna be jamming anytime soon, right?

00:44:03 So it's not like we should, it's not even an issue.

00:44:06 (speaking in foreign language)

00:44:07 - It's not about height or something else, it's a plan.

00:44:09 It's a brilliant plan.

00:44:10 - Ah, so it was a plan.

00:44:12 - Snazzy maneuver, Emperor.

00:44:14 (speaking in foreign language)

00:44:17 - Now, if your boyfriend would kindly come with me.

00:44:20 - Oh, I'm not her boyfriend.

00:44:22 Not her boyfriend.

00:44:25 - No.

00:44:26 - Just friends.

00:44:27 - Yeah.

00:44:29 - No, yeah, friends.

00:44:32 - Pardon?

00:44:33 - Acquaintances, friends.

00:44:35 - Were you guys like friends in college

00:44:39 and just afraid now to both ruin your relationship

00:44:41 by telling the other person that you want to be more than friends,

00:44:44 that you like like each other?

00:44:46 - One more time, I'm sorry, I didn't catch.

00:44:50 - Were you guys like friends in college

00:44:54 and now both afraid to ruin your relationship

00:44:56 by telling the other person that you want to be more than friends,

00:44:59 that you like like each other?

00:45:01 - Oh, no.

00:45:03 - No, no, no.

00:45:04 - No.

00:45:05 - I just love the nitty gritty of relationships, you know,

00:45:07 all us French do.

00:45:08 - Right.

00:45:09 - Amour.

00:45:10 - Now.

00:45:11 - Yeah.

00:45:12 - This way or you die.

00:45:13 - Yes.

00:45:14 (speaking in foreign language)

00:45:15 - Wait, I'm coming with you.

00:45:19 - No, our fight is not with you.

00:45:29 - My hair is currency in certain parts of Europe.

00:45:32 - It's true.

00:45:33 - Currency like gold or paper money.

00:45:35 The Duomo was purchased with just one locket.

00:45:39 - Listen up, Ghibasabi,

00:45:40 this rodeo clown wouldn't know a flapjack from a flyswatter.

00:45:44 Now Gigantor's out there risking his hide for us,

00:45:46 the least we can do is give him some help, some big help.

00:45:50 But we can't very well do that if we're stuck in here now, can we?

00:45:53 We need to escape.

00:45:56 - What's a flapjack?

00:45:58 - It's like a biscuit.

00:45:59 - Or a scone.

00:46:00 - A chest bump?

00:46:01 - Freddy.

00:46:15 - Freddy.

00:46:16 - Hey, what are you two doing out here?

00:46:24 - Let the babies go.

00:46:25 You make a run for it, I'll hold them off.

00:46:26 - I will not leave you.

00:46:28 - Ain't no time for your Rowan Mellow drama.

00:46:30 Now get it, go.

00:46:31 - Oh, Gigantor, I'll be fine.

00:46:33 - Now you're in real trouble.

00:46:35 - Why, these aren't real rubies at all.

00:46:42 Ruby slippers, indeed.

00:46:44 But whoever you were, Archibunka,

00:46:49 you had one comfortable throne.

00:46:53 - Hey, boss, we caught this one trying to escape

00:46:56 through a rust hole in the crate.

00:46:58 One of his little friends got away.

00:47:00 - Oh, please, what damage would they possibly do?

00:47:03 Why, they are no bigger than a little drain of coot coot, aren't you?

00:47:08 - You know, there are two words come to mind when I hear you talk,

00:47:10 delusional and weirdo.

00:47:13 And if I had to say a third, goofy, just goofy.

00:47:17 Now you let old Jedediah out of here, he's gonna get angry.

00:47:21 Well played, Jedediah.

00:47:23 - I'm sorry, I can't take you seriously.

00:47:25 You're just adorable.

00:47:27 Even when you're threatening me, it's hilarious.

00:47:29 Is it just me, or are these guys unbelievably cute?

00:47:33 - Now hold it a second.

00:47:35 Now you have a right to keep me as your captive,

00:47:37 torture me even, but don't call me cute.

00:47:39 I ain't cute.

00:47:40 - Steady, my friend.

00:47:41 Just stay alive.

00:47:43 I will find you.

00:47:45 - Hey, look, wait, ah!

00:47:50 - Check in.

00:47:51 Now.

00:47:52 - Hello, Mr. Daly.

00:47:55 Nice to see you again.

00:47:58 If you don't mind, I shall take that from you.

00:48:02 Thank you.

00:48:04 Finally, finally!

00:48:07 After 3,000 years,

00:48:10 my evil army of the damned,

00:48:14 my beautiful, beautiful army,

00:48:17 shall be unleashed!

00:48:22 I'm afraid that Mother and Father

00:48:32 may have slightly changed the combination on me.

00:48:36 - Wow, I guess this whole unleashing the underworld thing

00:48:39 isn't really working out for you, huh?

00:48:42 It must be really frustrating

00:48:43 'cause you've waited thousands of years

00:48:45 to come back from the dead and everything,

00:48:47 and now you can't get it open.

00:48:51 - Fear not, for I shall wait a thousand more if I must.

00:48:54 - Good, 'cause in a few hours,

00:48:56 you'll just be standing here in a frustrated position, frozen.

00:49:00 I'll walk out of here with my buddies,

00:49:01 and that'll be that.

00:49:02 So I got all night.

00:49:04 - Really, all night?

00:49:06 Well, he doesn't.

00:49:10 (soft music)

00:49:13 - Open that cage.

00:49:20 - What are you, what are you doing?

00:49:21 - No touching, no touching!

00:49:23 Don't you manhandle me!

00:49:24 - Hey, hey, look, he's having a tiny little tantrum.

00:49:27 - Jed.

00:49:28 - Don't you squirm, don't squirm.

00:49:30 It'll only be worse for you.

00:49:32 - Put him down.

00:49:33 - Don't be afraid.

00:49:34 I shan't hurt you.

00:49:36 Oops, I lied.

00:49:39 Uh-oh.

00:49:40 Oh, I don't think he has all night at all, Mr. Daly.

00:49:44 From the looks of things, I'd say he has,

00:49:47 ooh, a little over an hour.

00:49:49 - Take me out of here!

00:49:52 - You were the guardian.

00:49:53 You know all about this tablet.

00:49:56 Obviously much more clever than the rest of us.

00:49:59 You may or may not know the combination,

00:50:01 but I am going to give you exactly one hour to figure it out.

00:50:05 If you do not, I shall kill your friends.

00:50:08 And please don't think about escaping,

00:50:10 for I shall be watching you.

00:50:12 - Look, I don't even know how to begin

00:50:14 to decipher this thing, all right?

00:50:16 Really.

00:50:17 - Oh, what a pity.

00:50:18 And your little cowboy friend

00:50:19 seemed like such a charming little fellow.

00:50:22 Uh, tick-tock, Mr. Daly.

00:50:25 Your hour has begun.

00:50:28 - Hey!

00:50:29 You got this, partner.

00:50:32 I know you do.

00:50:35 Shoo!

00:50:37 You got this!

00:50:44 - There you are.

00:50:51 Are you all right? I've been worried sick.

00:50:53 Sick, I tell you.

00:50:54 - No, I'm fine.

00:50:55 - So, what's the next move, partner?

00:50:57 - I don't know. I just gotta get this tablet translated.

00:51:00 Oh, great. This guy again.

00:51:03 Look, buddy, we don't want any trouble, all right?

00:51:07 - Oh, look at that.

00:51:18 I guess that sassy cephalopod

00:51:19 was just a fish who didn't like being out of water.

00:51:22 He's not such a ballywagger after all.

00:51:26 - Oh, okay.

00:51:29 Glad you're happy.

00:51:33 [shrieking]

00:51:36 - Hello?

00:51:41 A little assistance?

00:51:43 - Oh, hey, Teddy!

00:51:44 - Yes?

00:51:45 - Maybe you could help us.

00:51:46 - Oh, I'd love to help you, but first things first.

00:51:48 My nose is so itchy, it's driving me insane.

00:51:50 I hate to ask, but as you see, I'm missing a few body parts.

00:51:54 Could you please, uh, give us a scratch?

00:51:56 - Yeah, sure.

00:51:58 - Oh, yes!

00:51:59 That's exquisite.

00:52:00 Oh, a little over there.

00:52:01 - Yes, oh!

00:52:02 - A little more.

00:52:03 - Oh, yes, yes, oh!

00:52:04 That's--oh!

00:52:05 Sweet rutabaga pie, that was divine.

00:52:08 Dear Don Roosevelt, at your service.

00:52:10 - 26th president of the United States,

00:52:12 rough rider, founder of the National Parks,

00:52:14 and a whole bunch of other stuff.

00:52:15 - Have we met?

00:52:16 - Oh, no.

00:52:17 There's, uh, there's another Teddy.

00:52:19 We have one of you in New York.

00:52:20 - Really? - Yeah.

00:52:21 - What's he like, this other me?

00:52:23 - Oh, he's pretty much the same, except, uh, with--

00:52:27 - Except what? Say it.

00:52:28 - Except he's got-- - With a body?

00:52:29 - Yes, he has a body.

00:52:31 - Oh, dash it, the pig!

00:52:32 - And a horse.

00:52:33 - Excuse me.

00:52:34 We really need someone to translate

00:52:36 what's written on this tablet.

00:52:37 Do you read hieroglyphics?

00:52:39 - Yes, I do, missy.

00:52:40 - Oh, that's a simple one.

00:52:42 - Bird, man with spear, sideways fish, beetle face.

00:52:47 - Okay, and--and what does that mean?

00:52:49 - It means--and this is just a rough translation--

00:52:53 a man with a spear trapped a bird

00:52:55 and a sideways fish in a vase.

00:52:58 And there was also a beetle.

00:53:01 - I don't think that's it.

00:53:03 - That's just one possible translation.

00:53:05 Another possible translation is

00:53:06 you will find the combination you seek

00:53:08 if you figure out the secret at the heart of Pharaoh's tomb.

00:53:13 - Okay, and what does that mean?

00:53:15 - I don't know, what am I, the sphinx?

00:53:16 What's this, what's that?

00:53:17 Why don't you ask New York Teddy?

00:53:18 I'm sure he'd love to get his grabbing little fingers

00:53:20 all over that thing.

00:53:21 Probably let his horse lick it, too.

00:53:22 - Mr. Daly, we should be going to the sculpture gallery.

00:53:25 I think there's someone there

00:53:26 who might have a better idea.

00:53:27 I think there's someone there

00:53:28 who might have a better thought on this.

00:53:30 The fellow we're looking for is just down here.

00:53:32 - Bonsoir.

00:53:33 - Oh, hello, young lady.

00:53:36 - Hey, excuse me.

00:53:37 Could we keep moving, please?

00:53:39 - We certainly could,

00:53:40 but then we might miss a rare opportunity.

00:53:42 I mean, she is a Degas, Mr. Daly.

00:53:45 - Okay, it's just I got a little buddy

00:53:46 stuck in an hourglass.

00:53:47 I got a pitch meeting at Walmart in the morning.

00:53:49 I just--it would be great if we could--

00:53:51 - He's right here.

00:53:53 I think he'll have a thought on this.

00:53:55 - Mr. Thinker, we're sorry to interrupt your contemplation,

00:53:58 but we really need to figure out the secret

00:54:00 at the heart of Pharaoh's tomb.

00:54:02 - I'm thinking.

00:54:04 I'm thinking.

00:54:07 I'm thinking.

00:54:09 I'm thinking.

00:54:12 - It's not happening.

00:54:14 - Oh, wow.

00:54:16 You've got to be kidding me.

00:54:18 Check. Ta-da.

00:54:20 Oh, boy.

00:54:22 - Hey, hey, buddy, over here.

00:54:24 This is serious.

00:54:25 - Apparently it's a matter of life and death.

00:54:27 - I'll tell you what's a matter of life and death.

00:54:29 That beautiful lady over there.

00:54:31 Hey, baby, check out the gun show going on over here.

00:54:34 Boom, bang!

00:54:36 Firepower.

00:54:38 - He's certainly no Einstein.

00:54:40 - Biceps, pow.

00:54:42 - Yeah, wait a minute.

00:54:44 I saw a bunch of those.

00:54:45 - A bunch of what?

00:54:46 - Little Einsteins.

00:54:47 - Where?

00:54:49 - Over there in air and space.

00:54:52 - We got to get over there.

00:54:54 - What?

00:54:55 - Nothing.

00:54:57 - Okay.

00:54:58 Why are you staring at me?

00:54:59 - I don't want to miss a moment.

00:55:01 - All right, good, well, we should get going 'cause we're--

00:55:03 Ow!

00:55:05 Why?

00:55:06 - You talk too much, Ace.

00:55:08 I don't know why I did that, Mr. Daly.

00:55:14 I just feel as if I've been asleep for a long time

00:55:16 and now suddenly I'm awake.

00:55:18 - Mm-hmm.

00:55:19 I can explain that.

00:55:20 - Shh.

00:55:21 - But really, I could-- I really should--

00:55:23 - Ow!

00:55:24 - Again, why?

00:55:25 - Mm.

00:55:26 - Oh, great, you're back.

00:55:32 Okay, yeah, great.

00:55:39 Love theme from "Titanic."

00:55:41 Good, but not really appropriate.

00:55:43 - You don't let yourself enjoy things much, do you, Mr. David?

00:55:50 - Okay, you know, it's not really the song choice, okay?

00:55:53 And by the way, you're a little pitchy.

00:55:55 - Well, I thought you were amazing.

00:55:57 You looked wonderful.

00:56:00 - Could you just fly away, please?

00:56:03 - And so the adventure continues.

00:56:05 - What did I tell you?

00:56:09 Enough!

00:56:11 [whistling]

00:56:18 - Oh, you know, I--

00:56:20 I do sort of feel like a-- like a floating butterfly.

00:56:24 - You look crazier than a road lizard.

00:56:26 - Mr. Egypt, these two here heard that we're taking over the world

00:56:30 and they want in.

00:56:32 I don't know who they are, but they're on exhibit here too, apparently.

00:56:37 - I don't even know what they are.

00:56:40 Um, I'm sorry, but we're all full up in our axis of evil today.

00:56:44 Sorry.

00:56:45 - Oh, come on.

00:56:47 I'm bad, I'm bad.

00:56:49 Hey, I can show you how bad I am.

00:56:51 Like, argh, argh, argh, argh.

00:56:53 Fear me, ah, ah, ah.

00:56:56 - I'm sorry, I'm just not buying it.

00:56:58 You don't seem very bad.

00:57:00 You just seem sort of vaguely grouchy to me.

00:57:03 - Oh.

00:57:05 - Hmm.

00:57:06 - What are you doing?

00:57:08 What is that?

00:57:09 What is this?

00:57:10 What does it mean?

00:57:11 You've lost me.

00:57:12 Is that you breathing?

00:57:13 Because I can't hear myself think.

00:57:16 - Can I make one suggestion to you, my friend?

00:57:18 Just simplify.

00:57:19 There's just too much going on here.

00:57:21 You're evil, you're asthmatic, you're a robot.

00:57:24 And what is the cape for?

00:57:26 Are we going to the opera?

00:57:27 I don't think so.

00:57:29 Sorry.

00:57:30 - Goodbye.

00:57:31 - Attention!

00:57:32 He's leaving with the tablet!

00:57:35 - Where?

00:57:38 - There.

00:57:40 - Well, he's not trying to figure out the--

00:57:42 He's trying to escape.

00:57:44 Go.

00:57:45 All of you, kill him and bring me that tablet.

00:57:48 Come on, people, let's go!

00:57:50 Without that tablet, we have nothing.

00:57:52 Streltsy, go.

00:57:56 - I thought you could get away, didn't you, Larry Daly?

00:58:08 - Crime and I were jimmy-jacked.

00:58:10 - Jimmy-jacked, really?

00:58:11 - It's the way I speak.

00:58:12 - Yeah, I know, but that one sounds made up even for you.

00:58:14 - Oh, no, our path has been blocked by bad people.

00:58:17 What's the fun in that?

00:58:18 The point is, we're not getting into the air and space right now.

00:58:21 - You're right, we are...

00:58:22 - Jimmy-jacked.

00:58:23 - Come on.

00:58:35 - They say a good man rules this union.

00:58:38 I promised Jedidiah I would bring help,

00:58:41 and help I will bring.

00:58:47 - Jump!

00:58:52 - Jump!

00:58:56 - Hurry up!

00:58:57 - Hurry up!

00:59:02 - Misjudged the distance.

00:59:08 - Who's there?

00:59:15 - Jupiter, protect me.

00:59:22 - Remain very still.

00:59:26 They can sense movement.

00:59:30 - Apparently, they can also hear me talking to myself.

00:59:35 - I am not a knot!

00:59:39 - Oh!

00:59:42 - Move it!

00:59:43 - Hurry up!

00:59:44 - Hurry up!

00:59:48 - We should be okay in here for a while.

00:59:55 - So, how long have you guarded antiquities?

00:59:57 - What?

00:59:58 Oh, no, I don't actually work at the...

01:00:00 - Oh, I just thought with the fancy get-up and all.

01:00:02 - Yeah, no, I borrowed this.

01:00:04 I mean, I was a guard back in New York,

01:00:06 but that was a while ago.

01:00:09 - Oh.

01:00:10 So, why did you leave?

01:00:11 Did you not enjoy it?

01:00:13 - No, I loved it.

01:00:14 I just...things sort of took off in a different direction, so...

01:00:17 - So, what do you do now?

01:00:19 - Uh, well, I sort of, um...

01:00:22 Well, I sort of design products and sell them.

01:00:25 - You're an inventor.

01:00:26 - I am.

01:00:27 I am an inventor, yeah.

01:00:28 I invent stuff.

01:00:29 - Like the rocket ship?

01:00:30 - No.

01:00:31 - The seaplane?

01:00:32 The dirigible?

01:00:34 - No, not aircraft.

01:00:35 Sort of like more small-scale stuff, like, um...

01:00:38 Like, well, the glow-in-the-dark flashlight

01:00:41 is something that...that was mine.

01:00:44 - So, this new job, do you like it?

01:00:46 - Yeah, I like it.

01:00:48 I like it a lot.

01:00:49 It's exciting.

01:00:50 It's...

01:00:51 What?

01:00:52 - I'm just confused is all.

01:00:54 If you're not excited by it, why do you do it?

01:00:57 - I am...I...

01:00:58 I'm excited by it.

01:00:59 I just said I'm...

01:01:00 - I know what you said, Mr. Daly,

01:01:01 but what I see in front of me

01:01:02 is a man who's lost his moxie.

01:01:05 - I have not lost my...

01:01:07 I...I got my moxie.

01:01:10 - Do you know why I became a pilot?

01:01:13 - I don't know.

01:01:15 - For the fun of it.

01:01:17 Why else would anyone do anything?

01:01:21 - [groaning]

01:01:23 - Great Gatsby.

01:01:25 - Oh!

01:01:26 Blast these pigeons and their incessant cooing!

01:01:29 - No, no, Mr. President!

01:01:31 - All right, then.

01:01:32 Time to see the state of this great union.

01:01:35 I always say,

01:01:36 there's nothing for tomorrow which can be done today.

01:01:38 - No, no, Mr. President!

01:01:39 No, I can't let you go out there, sir!

01:01:40 Sir, if you go out there,

01:01:41 you're gonna freak a lot of people out!

01:01:42 - Freak?

01:01:43 I assure you, sir, I am no freak.

01:01:46 - No, I didn't mean you're...

01:01:47 I didn't mean you're a freak.

01:01:48 I'm just...what are you...

01:01:49 - Come here, little one.

01:01:50 - Whoa!

01:01:51 - In fact, if anyone is freakish,

01:01:53 I'm afraid it's you, sir.

01:01:55 The truth is, you are very small.

01:01:58 And I mean even for a regular-sized human.

01:02:01 - What?

01:02:02 Why would you even say that?

01:02:04 - I must be honest.

01:02:06 - Oh, right.

01:02:07 Okay, honest Abe.

01:02:08 Of course, I'm sorry.

01:02:09 Great.

01:02:10 - Come now, Mr. President.

01:02:11 Put the little man down

01:02:12 and let's sit our fanny back in that throne of yours.

01:02:14 - You have a can-do attitude,

01:02:16 and I shall do as you ask.

01:02:18 - Thank you.

01:02:19 - Mm-hmm.

01:02:20 - There you go.

01:02:21 - Thank you.

01:02:22 - You know, it's that very can-do spirit

01:02:23 that has defined this remarkable nation of ours.

01:02:26 Interesting story.

01:02:27 - You know, one night in Pettiford--

01:02:28 - Mr. President, I'm gonna need you to hold still now.

01:02:30 - We were so mad.

01:02:31 - What?

01:02:32 - Abraham, freeze.

01:02:33 - Freeze?

01:02:34 I'm not--

01:02:35 [all shouting]

01:02:38 - Come on!

01:02:39 [dramatic music]

01:02:41 - Thank you.

01:02:42 - You're welcome.

01:02:43 - Come on, let's get to air and space.

01:02:45 - If I may, you two make an adorable couple.

01:02:48 - Oh, no, we're not.

01:02:49 No, no, no, we're not a--

01:02:50 I mean, we're not a--

01:02:51 - We're not a--

01:02:52 I mean, we're not a--

01:02:54 Blah, blah, blah.

01:02:55 I never lie!

01:02:56 - The truth is, you two are adorable together.

01:03:00 - Thank you.

01:03:01 - Thank you.

01:03:02 - Farewell, lovely lady and small little man.

01:03:08 - Now let's see if we can find these Einstein's of yours.

01:03:12 [dramatic music]

01:03:15 ♪ ♪

01:03:22 [dramatic music]

01:03:24 ♪ ♪

01:03:29 - Come on, giant leap for a mannequin.

01:03:32 - DC, this is air and space.

01:03:34 We are back online and fully operational.

01:03:38 ♪ ♪

01:03:42 - The Tuskegee Airmen are on the march once again.

01:03:46 - Can you stop narrating everything you're doing?

01:03:49 Just live in the moment.

01:03:51 - The Tuskegee Airmen are living in the moment.

01:03:54 - Miss Earhart. - Yes?

01:03:55 - I want to say thank you.

01:03:57 - What for, Captain?

01:03:58 - A lot of people didn't think we could fly either.

01:04:00 Thanks for clearing the runway, ma'am.

01:04:03 ♪ ♪

01:04:06 Race you to Paris?

01:04:07 - You're on.

01:04:08 - Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, no, no, not now.

01:04:10 - No, but it's just a quick jump over the pond.

01:04:12 - No, come on, we gotta go.

01:04:13 We gotta go, we don't have time.

01:04:14 Come on.

01:04:15 - The Tuskegee Airmen are on the march once again.

01:04:17 - Sorry, it's in the blood.

01:04:18 There she is, Mr. Daly.

01:04:20 - Oh, Bessie, the old family bus.

01:04:22 That gal took me across the Atlantic.

01:04:24 - Okay, I think the Einsteins are over here, though.

01:04:26 - This is Mission Control.

01:04:28 Flight check green.

01:04:29 - Where'd you go?

01:04:30 - You are cleared for... - Where'd they go?

01:04:31 - Gumdak!

01:04:32 - Easy, this is Mission Control.

01:04:35 We are all systems go and green for liftoff.

01:04:38 - Roger that.

01:04:39 - We are green for liftoff.

01:04:41 - No, we're simply not green for any kind of liftoff.

01:04:43 - I want a go, no go for launch.

01:04:45 - I say no go.

01:04:46 Let's not go.

01:04:47 - Go!

01:04:49 - Go!

01:04:51 - Go!

01:04:52 - Go!

01:04:53 - No go!

01:04:54 - Forking angle incoming.

01:04:55 - No, we're not going for it.

01:04:57 - What's now?

01:04:58 - Detour, detour.

01:05:00 - Whoa!

01:05:01 - Commence ignition sequence.

01:05:03 - Roger that, Flight.

01:05:04 - We have launch commence.

01:05:06 - No, no, no, no, no.

01:05:07 - Ten, nine, eight, seven.

01:05:11 - That's right.

01:05:12 - No, we do not have a commit.

01:05:13 Repeat, we are decommissioning the committal of the launch

01:05:16 and it is now a negatory launch phase.

01:05:19 We are in a no fly, no go phase.

01:05:22 That is a November Gorgon phase of non-flying.

01:05:27 - Stop.

01:05:28 - And we're gonna say goodnight, thank you.

01:05:30 Good work.

01:05:31 Over and out.

01:05:33 - Damn, that was disappointing.

01:05:35 - Oh, hey, little space monkey.

01:05:42 Able, okay, good.

01:05:43 How you doing?

01:05:45 Oh, yes, good, at ease, all right.

01:05:48 Oh, you're a polite little fella, aren't you?

01:05:51 Hey, you happen to know where those little Einstein bobblehead guys are?

01:05:56 - Mr. Daly, I found your Einsteins.

01:05:59 - Great, hey.

01:06:00 - Gentlemen, we're trying to crack the combination of this tablet doodad

01:06:04 and the writing here says we'll find it

01:06:07 if we figure out the secret at the heart of Pharaoh's tomb.

01:06:12 - That's an easy one.

01:06:14 The answer's in the question.

01:06:16 - What does that mean?

01:06:17 - Figure out, it's a figure, i.e. a number.

01:06:21 - And the Pharaoh's tomb, i.e. the pyramids.

01:06:24 - Don't you get it, kid?

01:06:25 You're looking for the secret number at the heart of the pyramids.

01:06:29 - Well, whistle me, Dixie, the answer's pi.

01:06:31 - Pi?

01:06:32 - 3.14159265 to be exact.

01:06:35 - Oh, yes, 3.1495265?

01:06:38 - No, no, no, no, no, 3.14159265.

01:06:41 - Yeah, okay, 3.14--

01:06:44 I'm sorry, I can't tell, is it yes or no?

01:06:46 'Cause you just--I know it's hard, could you just--

01:06:48 - Don't touch the hair.

01:06:49 - Sorry, I can't tell if it's up or--

01:06:51 - I'm a bobblehead, Dumkopf, and that's the way,

01:06:54 ah-ha, ah-ha, we like it.

01:06:56 All together now!

01:06:57 - That's the way, ah-ha, ah-ha, we like it, ah-ha, ah-ha.

01:07:01 - Well, you know, can't all be Einstein, so--

01:07:03 - I can, I am, we are, he is, you are.

01:07:05 - Me too!

01:07:06 - Well, okay, all right.

01:07:07 - Okay, here it is.

01:07:08 - Okay, can you slow it down a little bit?

01:07:09 - Okay, 3.14159265.

01:07:13 - Okay, 3.14--

01:07:15 - I've got it.

01:07:16 Thank you, Mr. Einstein.

01:07:17 - Thank you.

01:07:19 - All right, now, like the brilliant and famous general that I am,

01:07:25 I thought long and hard about what you said,

01:07:28 and I've come up with a brand-new and improved battle plan.

01:07:32 [laughing]

01:07:34 Okay.

01:07:36 I will loudly announce that we are not going to attack,

01:07:43 and then--wait for it--

01:07:46 what's the amazing Custer about to say now?

01:07:49 Oh, I hope he's my friend--

01:07:51 Bam!

01:07:52 We attack!

01:07:54 [laughing]

01:07:57 Didn't expect your friend to run off like that, now, did you?

01:08:01 Oh, he's coming back, Doctor Ralph.

01:08:03 Sure as moon shines on among us, he'll be here.

01:08:07 Oh, I would save my breath if I were you.

01:08:10 You don't have many left.

01:08:16 We've got about 10 minutes to get over there to Jed.

01:08:18 I think we make a good team, perhaps more than a team.

01:08:21 Um, wait, wait, wait, okay, wait.

01:08:23 What's the matter, you didn't like kissing me?

01:08:25 No, I did, it was great.

01:08:27 I mean, the slapping hurt a little bit, but--

01:08:29 Oh, so you don't like me, then?

01:08:31 Of course I like you, you're incredible.

01:08:33 I think you're an amazing person.

01:08:35 You're--just, you know, there's certain issues

01:08:38 that would prevent us from--

01:08:40 I just--it's just, you're--you're not--

01:08:42 I'm not what, Mr. Daly?

01:08:47 Okay, you're made of--

01:08:51 Made of...

01:09:02 Wonderful things.

01:09:03 You're made of good, wonderful things.

01:09:09 He's on the back!

01:09:12 Come on, let's see, run!

01:09:17 Gentlemen, could you buy us some time, please?

01:09:26 It'll have to do.

01:09:27 Halt, sproutsy, make your feet move!

01:09:29 No, no, that's like the first plane ever made.

01:09:32 It's made out of balsa wood and paper.

01:09:34 It's made out of spruce and canvas

01:09:36 and good old-fashioned American ingenuity.

01:09:38 Are they coming?

01:09:39 Are you coming or what?

01:09:45 Out of our way.

01:09:47 I don't think so.

01:09:50 They're getting away!

01:09:52 [all talking at once]

01:09:55 Come on, Mr. Daly, things are about to get interesting.

01:09:59 [engine revving]

01:10:06 A lady pilot from Bosphorus!

01:10:09 Think again, boys!

01:10:11 Oh, she's good.

01:10:15 [all screaming]

01:10:18 [engine revving]

01:10:29 Uh-oh.

01:10:30 What, what, what, uh-oh?

01:10:32 One of the wires is jammed.

01:10:33 I'm going to have to loosen it.

01:10:34 Here, take a stick.

01:10:35 No, I'm not gonna-- no!

01:10:36 I know you've got Moxie in your head.

01:10:38 Moxie doesn't fly planes.

01:10:39 People who have pilot's licenses fly planes, okay?

01:10:42 She's all yours.

01:10:44 I don't-- I don't want it!

01:10:46 I don't want a stick!

01:10:51 Don't look now, Mr. Daly, but you're flying an airplane.

01:10:56 [engine revving]

01:11:00 [all screaming]

01:11:05 Abel, the door!

01:11:08 [birds chirping]

01:11:15 [engine revving]

01:11:23 Got it!

01:11:25 Whoa!

01:11:26 [all screaming]

01:11:29 Hold on!

01:11:30 [all screaming]

01:11:37 Yes!

01:11:38 Godspeed, Amelia Earhart!

01:11:40 Godspeed.

01:11:41 [music playing]

01:11:44 [engine revving]

01:11:47 [music playing]

01:11:50 [engine revving]

01:11:53 [music playing]

01:11:56 [engine revving]

01:12:01 [music playing]

01:12:06 [engine revving]

01:12:11 [music playing]

01:12:16 [engine revving]

01:12:20 Looking a little nervous there, Ramen Noodle.

01:12:23 'Cause for me, this is like a spa treatment.

01:12:25 Sandbast's really rejuvenating for the skin.

01:12:28 Exfoliates.

01:12:30 Given up yet?

01:12:31 Oh, not quite yet, no.

01:12:34 In fact, let's see if we can't make time fly, eh?

01:12:38 [grunting]

01:12:44 What is that funny thought?

01:12:46 [engine revving]

01:12:50 [grunting]

01:12:54 [engine revving]

01:12:57 [gasps]

01:12:58 [engine revving]

01:13:04 [music playing]

01:13:07 Stop!

01:13:10 Right there, please, Mr. Daly.

01:13:13 Well.

01:13:14 Well, well, well.

01:13:16 You certainly know how to make an entrance.

01:13:17 Time to recruit some back.

01:13:19 I hope your little friend think, Herr,

01:13:21 that you also figured out the combination.

01:13:24 Give me Jet.

01:13:25 Oh, no, no, no.

01:13:26 First give me the combination and hand over that tablet.

01:13:28 I'll give you the tablet and the combination

01:13:30 when you release my friends and give him back to me.

01:13:32 I shall release what I want to release

01:13:34 the moment I want to release it.

01:13:36 Great.

01:13:37 And I'll release what I want to release

01:13:38 at the exact moment that I want to release it, OK?

01:13:40 Tell me the combination and give me that tablet right now

01:13:42 or I shall kill all of your friends,

01:13:44 starting with the little shaggy-headed little common here.

01:13:47 I ain't shaggy-headed!

01:13:48 Shaggy-headed!

01:13:49 Jack Angel, let me take this guy!

01:13:51 Don't worry. I got this handled.

01:13:52 You don't want to give me my friends,

01:13:54 then you're not going to get your combination and your tablet.

01:13:56 All right. I'll tell you what. All right.

01:13:58 They didn't call me Common Raw the trustworthy for nothing.

01:14:00 Here you go.

01:14:01 They didn't call me Common Raw the trustworthy.

01:14:03 They called me Common Raw the bloodthirsty

01:14:05 who kills whoever doesn't give Common Raw

01:14:07 exactly what he wants in the moment that he wants it,

01:14:10 which is right now,

01:14:11 when I had also better get the combination and the tablet.

01:14:15 That's what they called you?

01:14:16 It was shorter in Egyptian.

01:14:18 Great. Well, I'll give you the combination after you give him that.

01:14:20 After? If you touch that again, I shall kill you right now.

01:14:23 Do not touch this. This is a no-touching zone.

01:14:26 Good. Well, then...

01:14:27 Oh, my God! I can't believe you reached across like that again.

01:14:32 I can't even believe it.

01:14:33 Oh, God, I want to kill you right...

01:14:35 If you didn't know this combination, you'd be so dead right now.

01:14:39 It would be unbelievable.

01:14:40 Great. But I do know the combination.

01:14:42 Don't cross this line with your hand.

01:14:46 How dare you?

01:14:47 If you speak again, if you speak again,

01:14:50 I'm going to kill you.

01:14:52 Do you understand?

01:14:53 Don't say anything.

01:14:54 Oh, God, I see you getting ready.

01:14:55 Oh, my God. Don't say anything.

01:14:57 I shall murder you if you talk again.

01:15:00 Now give me that tablet and tell me the combination.

01:15:05 Okay. After you give me Jed and release my friends.

01:15:08 You did all three! You spoke and you reached your hand across.

01:15:12 Look, I can talk to you about this all night.

01:15:14 How about I don't kill you right now like I really, really want to,

01:15:18 and I give you precisely five seconds

01:15:20 to give me that tablet and tell me the combination.

01:15:23 We already got the combination.

01:15:25 It's pi 3.14159265.

01:15:32 Hey. Ouch! Sorry.

01:15:34 It's crazy hair here.

01:15:35 He sang. Oh, did he sing?

01:15:38 Like a canary.

01:15:40 I'm sorry, Larry.

01:15:42 Enough out of you!

01:15:43 What happened last time?

01:15:44 Hey, that's enough, stupid man.

01:15:47 You okay?

01:15:50 Yeah. Thanks.

01:15:52 Must be a real bummer for you, Larry,

01:15:55 knowing that all of your valiant efforts were in the end for naught.

01:16:00 What a terrible disappointment you must be to yourself.

01:16:05 Do you hear that humming sound?

01:16:17 Do you know what that sound is?

01:16:21 It's rhetorical.

01:16:24 That is the sound of the end.

01:16:30 Un calamar mas cama.

01:16:35 The calamar mas cama.

01:16:36 I'm sorry, Jack.

01:16:38 You did your best, Gigantor.

01:16:41 And, gum it, we almost had him, too.

01:16:43 No, I mean, I'm sorry I wasn't around the last couple of years at the museum.

01:16:47 Maybe none of this would have happened.

01:16:49 You don't get it, do you, Gigantor?

01:16:51 I didn't call you 'cause we needed your help.

01:16:54 Ah, sure, we're in a little pickle,

01:16:56 but it wouldn't have been the first time I had to wrestle my way out of a root sack.

01:17:00 No, partner, I called you 'cause you needed us.

01:17:04 That fancy suit you've been parading around in these past couple years,

01:17:08 that there's-a-hanging suit,

01:17:10 all gussied up but dead inside,

01:17:13 that ain't you.

01:17:16 Hey, I'll tell you another thing.

01:17:18 Yeah?

01:17:19 This night ain't over yet.

01:17:21 This little midnight cowboy's got some fight left in him.

01:17:24 Something tells me you two do.

01:17:26 Oh, now.

01:17:28 [screaming]

01:17:33 [screaming]

01:17:48 [roaring]

01:17:50 Welcome to the new extended reign of Khamun-Ra,

01:18:01 fifth king of Egypt,

01:18:03 and now the world!

01:18:06 Khorus! Ra! My warriors, come forth!

01:18:10 Send Larry Daly and his friends to their doom!

01:18:15 [roaring]

01:18:17 [speaking in foreign language]

01:18:36 Hold!

01:18:42 The mighty Octavius has returned!

01:18:45 I ride on the back of nature's most fearsome creature!

01:18:50 I ride...

01:18:52 the Squirrel!

01:18:55 Onward now, my mighty speed!

01:19:01 Whoa! Easy.

01:19:07 Do you wish to surrender honorably?

01:19:09 Or must this end with the spilling of your blood?

01:19:13 This... this is your big rescue?

01:19:18 Oh, no.

01:19:20 This is!

01:19:22 [explosion]

01:19:24 What is that thing?

01:19:36 The name is Abraham Lincoln,

01:19:38 and you, sir, are in a heap of trouble.

01:19:41 Attack it!

01:19:43 [speaking in foreign language]

01:19:45 [screaming]

01:19:47 Disgusting half-pigeons!

01:19:51 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Hello?

01:20:04 Adios, bird brains!

01:20:06 Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no!

01:20:08 Goodbye, strange bird men.

01:20:10 Do not return to the underworld!

01:20:12 Yes, yes, do go back into the underworld.

01:20:14 Thank you for coming tonight.

01:20:16 No, no!

01:20:18 Well, this is awkward.

01:20:29 It appears my work here is done.

01:20:32 Just remember, son, a house divided against itself cannot stand.

01:20:38 Farewell.

01:20:42 What now?

01:20:44 You know, I'm not quite sure.

01:20:47 I suppose we should probably start by watching him die.

01:20:51 Streltsy, make him dead!

01:20:56 Now what?

01:21:02 We are not going to attack right now!

01:21:08 Get them!

01:21:19 [screaming]

01:21:21 Fear not, Larry! I will help Jedediah!

01:21:42 You collect him from behind!

01:21:44 What's going on?

01:21:47 Hiding.

01:21:48 Hiding? What are you doing? Come on, we need you.

01:21:50 I'm a failure.

01:21:52 Hey, no, you're not.

01:21:54 Did you foolishly lead 208 Americans to their deaths at the Battle of Little Bighorn?

01:21:59 No.

01:22:01 No, not good. Not good at all.

01:22:05 It's not good.

01:22:06 Sure, I talk a good game, but the truth of the matter is, I don't deserve these stars.

01:22:10 I will always be famous for my biggest failure.

01:22:15 Hey, the past is the past, okay?

01:22:20 Right now, this moment, this night, this is what you're going to be remembered for.

01:22:27 This is your last stand.

01:22:31 [screaming]

01:22:33 They need a leader.

01:22:47 Yeah, they need a leader.

01:22:49 Yeah? Want to be their leader?

01:22:53 Yeah, I do.

01:22:54 Let's do this!

01:22:56 All right, let's go!

01:22:58 Yee-haw!

01:23:00 Oh!

01:23:01 I'm dead!

01:23:02 [screaming]

01:23:04 Hey, hey, oh, great.

01:23:08 Guys, hey, guys, this is not the time to get into this, all right?

01:23:18 Dexter, you know better.

01:23:22 [gunshot]

01:23:23 All right? That's what happens when you do that. Get that.

01:23:26 Oh!

01:23:30 Stop! Just stop! Stop!

01:23:36 Now listen, you're both proud capuchin.

01:23:40 You need to concentrate on slapping the enemy.

01:23:43 Keep it together, all right?

01:23:47 Come on, let's go!

01:23:49 [gunshot]

01:23:50 [screaming]

01:23:51 Jedediah, they need us!

01:23:53 Ain't gonna make it.

01:23:54 Greatest cowboy's been to his last hoedown.

01:23:57 Octavius, remember me as I was.

01:24:00 Wild and free.

01:24:02 No need for final words.

01:24:06 Oh, I'm not finished yet.

01:24:08 Oh.

01:24:09 I want to get to the story of our relationship,

01:24:11 the evolution from enemy to friends.

01:24:13 No!

01:24:14 It'll make you cry.

01:24:15 No!

01:24:16 [gunshot]

01:24:17 [screaming]

01:24:18 It'll make you cry.

01:24:20 No!

01:24:21 Because you are going to live!

01:24:24 [screaming]

01:24:25 [screaming]

01:24:29 Whoo!

01:24:31 Let's go to work.

01:24:35 Have a sword.

01:24:37 Sword!

01:24:38 [music playing]

01:24:41 Incoming!

01:24:57 [screaming]

01:25:06 [music playing]

01:25:09 [screaming]

01:25:13 [shouting]

01:25:16 You smack, you kick.

01:25:23 You smack, you kick.

01:25:24 You smack, you kick.

01:25:25 Teamwork, fellas.

01:25:26 Wonderball!

01:25:27 How you doing, fellas?

01:25:32 [shouting]

01:25:34 [shouting]

01:25:35 [shouting]

01:25:47 [shouting]

01:26:00 [shouting]

01:26:01 Are you all right?

01:26:05 Never better.

01:26:06 OK, listen, let me give you the signal.

01:26:07 I want you to open the gate.

01:26:08 I take it you have a plan.

01:26:10 I'm going to divide the house.

01:26:13 [shouting]

01:26:14 The tablet!

01:26:18 Now!

01:26:19 OK, sure.

01:26:20 You can have it.

01:26:21 Just tell me who the boss is, and I'll give it to you.

01:26:23 Or should I give it to Kamenra?

01:26:24 He's sort of like your master, right?

01:26:25 Nyet.

01:26:26 He's not our master.

01:26:27 Really?

01:26:28 Because he sort of acts like he's your master.

01:26:29 But fine, just tell me who the boss is, and you can have it.

01:26:31 Hey!

01:26:32 That'd be me.

01:26:34 Ah, this man is a peasant.

01:26:36 I am the only one here of noble birth.

01:26:38 Really?

01:26:39 Because he's got more medals and a bigger hat.

01:26:40 But--

01:26:41 Thank you.

01:26:42 Hey, you might got a lot of medals,

01:26:43 but if you put one of your little child

01:26:44 hands on that tablet again, it'll

01:26:45 be the last thing them tiny little mitts of yours ever

01:26:48 touch.

01:26:49 Why would you touch little nippy?

01:26:51 Hey, hey, hey, hey.

01:26:52 [speaking french]

01:26:53 I can handle this, OK?

01:26:54 You can handle nothing.

01:26:55 You can barely speak, you fool.

01:26:57 You know what?

01:26:58 No problem.

01:27:00 I'll give it to you.

01:27:01 You see that?

01:27:02 [smack]

01:27:03 [screaming]

01:27:05 Oh, you spunky little fellow.

01:27:07 [screaming]

01:27:09 [sword clanging]

01:27:11 Very clever, Mr. Daly.

01:27:14 Getting them to fight amongst themselves.

01:27:16 Yeah, I can't really take credit.

01:27:18 It was Abraham Lincoln's idea.

01:27:20 You know, a house divided can't--

01:27:23 doesn't do well.

01:27:24 Yes, well, you should have saved yourself

01:27:27 when you had the chance.

01:27:31 And now I have the tremendous pleasure

01:27:33 of killing you myself.

01:27:35 [sword clanging]

01:27:38 [grunting]

01:27:40 [sword clanging]

01:27:43 [grunting]

01:27:46 [sword clanging]

01:27:49 [grunting]

01:27:52 [sword clanging]

01:27:54 [grunting]

01:27:57 [sword clanging]

01:28:00 [grunting]

01:28:03 [sword clanging]

01:28:05 [grunting]

01:28:08 [sword clanging]

01:28:10 [grunting]

01:28:12 [sword clanging]

01:28:14 [grunting]

01:28:16 [sword clanging]

01:28:18 [grunting]

01:28:20 [sword clanging]

01:28:22 [grunting]

01:28:24 [thunder rumbling]

01:28:26 What are you?

01:28:29 I'm the night guard.

01:28:32 [screaming]

01:28:35 [dramatic music]

01:28:38 ♪ ♪

01:28:43 [screaming]

01:28:44 Victory is ours!

01:28:46 [screaming]

01:28:49 [screaming]

01:28:52 [grunting]

01:28:54 Oh, that's what I'm talking about!

01:28:56 [laughing]

01:28:58 ♪ ♪

01:29:03 I'd say somebody found his moxie.

01:29:06 [sighs]

01:29:07 The Battle of the Smithsonian.

01:29:10 Perhaps the greatest battle the world will ever know.

01:29:15 We'll know.

01:29:18 ♪ ♪

01:29:21 Yeah.

01:29:24 Oh, man, I got an hour till sunrise.

01:29:26 I gotta get you guys back.

01:29:27 In case you forgot, Giganto,

01:29:29 they don't want us there anymore.

01:29:31 Well, I do.

01:29:33 ♪ ♪

01:29:36 Hey, think you could hook us up with a ride?

01:29:40 My pleasure, of course.

01:29:43 Hang on a second.

01:29:45 One last thing I gotta take care of.

01:29:48 Come on, boy. Come on!

01:29:50 Come on!

01:29:51 Get in there!

01:29:53 [thunder rumbling]

01:29:56 Looks good, right?

01:29:58 [horse whinnies]

01:30:00 You're welcome!

01:30:02 Just get back inside by sunrise, okay?

01:30:05 ♪ ♪

01:30:10 Whoa!

01:30:12 ♪ ♪

01:30:18 These are promising days indeed.

01:30:21 ♪ ♪

01:30:28 ♪ ♪

01:30:35 ♪ ♪

01:30:43 All right, hey, come on, guys.

01:30:45 Remember, stay with your buddy.

01:30:47 Okay?

01:30:49 [dogs barking]

01:30:52 [horses whinnying]

01:30:55 ♪ ♪

01:31:00 Well, you're back where you belong.

01:31:04 Yeah, I think so.

01:31:07 ♪ ♪

01:31:13 I guess I should be going.

01:31:15 Hmm.

01:31:17 Hey, Amelia.

01:31:20 That thing that I was trying to tell you about earlier...

01:31:24 ♪ ♪

01:31:26 There's not really an easy way to put this,

01:31:30 but in the morning--

01:31:33 I know what's coming, Mr. Daly.

01:31:35 I've always known.

01:31:37 But it doesn't matter.

01:31:39 You've given me the adventure of a lifetime in one night.

01:31:44 And I have a feeling it's going to be a beautiful sunrise.

01:31:49 ♪ ♪

01:31:56 Have fun.

01:31:59 ♪ ♪

01:32:08 Thanks.

01:32:10 ♪ ♪

01:32:23 Hmm.

01:32:25 ♪ ♪

01:32:35 [engine rumbling]

01:32:38 ♪ ♪

01:32:48 [engine rumbling]

01:32:51 ♪ ♪

01:32:59 I don't know about you fellas,

01:33:01 but this old cowboy just got to second base.

01:33:05 ♪ ♪

01:33:07 There she goes.

01:33:09 Straight towards Canada.

01:33:13 She's heading to Canada.

01:33:16 ♪ ♪

01:33:18 Now, now, she caught us correct.

01:33:21 ♪ ♪

01:33:25 Head on downstairs, guys.

01:33:27 All right.

01:33:28 Hey, boy.

01:33:29 How does it go?

01:33:31 Lawrence, bless you for bringing them back.

01:33:34 And might I say a hearty well done is in order.

01:33:37 May I also point out,

01:33:39 they cannot hide in the basement forever.

01:33:41 Yeah, no, I think I got that figured out.

01:33:43 Son, come, dum-dum.

01:33:46 Our Moai friend is right.

01:33:47 The dawn will soon be upon us.

01:33:49 Hey, Teddy.

01:33:50 Remember the other night you were saying something

01:33:52 about the key to happiness?

01:33:53 Did I?

01:33:54 Yeah, you said the key to happiness is,

01:33:55 and then the sun came up and you froze?

01:33:57 Oh.

01:33:58 I think I got it figured out.

01:33:59 It's doing what you love, isn't it?

01:34:02 With people you love.

01:34:05 Actually, I was going to say physical exercise,

01:34:07 but to love things good too.

01:34:10 [footsteps]

01:34:12 Lawrence!

01:34:15 Yeah?

01:34:16 Welcome home, son.

01:34:20 Thanks.

01:34:25 [music]

01:34:27 Well, folks, the wait is over.

01:34:41 After two months of renovation,

01:34:43 tonight the Museum of Natural History

01:34:45 reopens its doors to the public.

01:34:47 As you can see, New Yorkers are flooding in,

01:34:49 eager to see just what changes are in store.

01:34:52 With its new extended night hours,

01:34:54 we're told the museum will be more lively than ever.

01:34:57 Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well.

01:35:10 See, the uniform still fits now after these long, long years.

01:35:13 Yeah, yeah.

01:35:14 Really hasn't been that long.

01:35:16 So, uh, to what do we owe this triumphant return?

01:35:20 Knock out for the corporate jungle after all.

01:35:23 Got fired.

01:35:25 No, actually, I sold my company.

01:35:28 Ah, the world doth move in mysterious ways.

01:35:31 One day, we've got to get rid of everything old.

01:35:34 The next, a rich, anonymous donor gives a huge endowment.

01:35:40 With a proviso, everything stays the same.

01:35:43 Mm.

01:35:44 So...

01:35:49 Well, not exactly the same, obviously.

01:35:51 No.

01:35:52 All right, lads and ladies, the famous Theodore Roosevelt,

01:35:55 naturalist, rough rider, and 26th president of these great United States.

01:36:00 Come along, lad. The hunt is afoot.

01:36:02 Lawrence.

01:36:03 Hey, you dum-dums, bring me gum-gum.

01:36:12 I do.

01:36:14 [singing]

01:36:19 My parents gave me this tablet some 3,000 years ago,

01:36:23 entrusting me with one of my people's most prized possessions.

01:36:27 Does it do anything?

01:36:29 Do anything?

01:36:30 Yeah, what's the point if it doesn't do anything?

01:36:33 Actually, it has a magical power that brings all of the exhibits to life.

01:36:39 No, really, what's it do?

01:36:42 Nothing, it's just for decoration.

01:36:44 Mm-hmm.

01:36:46 This place is lame. The thing doesn't even look real.

01:36:50 Seriously, dude, these animatronics suck.

01:36:54 -Power? -Yeah.

01:37:05 Extinct?

01:37:06 Today's technology is beyond me.

01:37:09 -It's so lifelike. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, something else.

01:37:12 Stick around a bit longer this time,

01:37:14 or you're gonna run away again when you get somewhat better.

01:37:16 I'm gonna stay for a long time, maybe.

01:37:20 Good.

01:37:22 'Cause...

01:37:23 as night guards go, you're...

01:37:26 what? The best.

01:37:29 Excuse me.

01:37:32 You, toddler, don't have any displays.

01:37:41 ♪ We're gonna move tonight ♪

01:37:43 ♪ Let's move tonight ♪

01:37:47 ♪ Let's move tonight ♪

01:37:49 ♪ Let's move tonight ♪

01:38:17 Sorry, hi. I don't mean to stare, I just...

01:38:20 You look a lot like somebody who I know.

01:38:23 I get that a lot.

01:38:25 -Do you? -Yeah.

01:38:27 I guess it's... I have that kind of face.

01:38:29 -I'm familiar. -Yeah.

01:38:31 You're not by any chance related to Amelia Earhart, are you?

01:38:36 -No. -No.

01:38:38 -I don't think so. -Of course you're not.

01:38:40 -I mean, I don't know. -I told you, yeah.

01:38:41 -Maybe not. Maybe I'm... -I just had to ask, sorry.

01:38:44 She was, uh, that... the woman who flew across the Pacific.

01:38:48 -The Atlantic. -Atlantic, of course.

01:38:50 Yeah, first woman to fly across the Atlantic.

01:38:51 And she received the Flying Cross, first woman to do that.

01:38:54 -That's very cool. -Yeah, she was very...

01:38:57 She was cool.

01:38:58 Hey, you know what you should check out is the Hall of Miniatures.

01:39:09 Could you take me there? I'm always getting lost.

01:39:14 Yeah, no, sure. So, yeah. That's where... Yeah.

01:39:17 Yee-haw!

01:39:40 Yee-haw!

01:39:42 -Joseph, time for dinner. -One second, Ma.

01:40:03 Joey Motorola, you get down here for supper right now.

01:40:07 I said one second, Ma. I really think I'm onto something here.

01:40:10 ♪ If it's you and me forever ♪

01:40:13 ♪ If it's you and me right now ♪

01:40:16 ♪ That'd be all right ♪

01:40:19 ♪ Be all right ♪

01:40:23 ♪ Chase the stars to lose the shadows ♪

01:40:27 ♪ Feeling better when we turned out fine ♪

01:40:32 ♪ So won't you fly with me? ♪

01:40:39 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪

01:40:42 ♪ You gotta fly with me now ♪

01:40:45 ♪ Now the past has come ♪

01:40:54 ♪ But I've been given meaning ♪

01:40:58 ♪ And a reason ♪

01:41:02 ♪ To give all I can ♪

01:41:08 ♪ To believe once again ♪

01:41:13 ♪ If it's you and me forever ♪

01:41:18 ♪ If it's you and me right now ♪

01:41:21 ♪ That'd be all right ♪

01:41:24 ♪ Be all right ♪

01:41:28 ♪ Chase the stars to lose the shadows ♪

01:41:32 ♪ Feeling better when we turned out fine ♪

01:41:37 ♪ So won't you fly with me? ♪

01:41:42 ♪ Maybe you were just afraid ♪

01:41:45 ♪ Knowing you were miles away ♪

01:41:48 ♪ From the place where you needed to be ♪

01:41:53 ♪ And that's right here with me ♪

01:41:57 ♪ If it's you and me forever ♪

01:42:02 ♪ If it's you and me right now ♪

01:42:07 ♪ That'd be all right ♪

01:42:10 ♪ Chase the stars to lose the shadows ♪

01:42:17 ♪ Feeling better when we turned out fine ♪

01:42:22 ♪ So won't you fly with me? ♪

01:42:28 ♪ ♪

01:42:33 ♪ If it's you and me forever ♪

01:42:40 ♪ If it's you and me right now ♪

01:42:43 ♪ That'd be all right ♪

01:42:46 ♪ Be all right ♪

01:42:50 ♪ Chase the stars to lose the shadows ♪

01:42:54 ♪ Feeling better when we turned out fine ♪

01:42:59 ♪ So won't you fly ♪

01:43:04 ♪ Fly ♪

01:43:07 ♪ Fly ♪

01:43:11 ♪ With me ♪

01:43:13 [music ends]

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01:44:39 [BLANK_AUDIO]

Transcript

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