My Husband Is Pregnant With Our Baby | MY EXTRAORDINARY FAMILY
KRISTIN is carrying his next child and has received judgement for being a seahorse dad. When he and his wife, Ashley, first started dating, he identified as female and he came out as transgender about eight years ago. The couple then decided to have their first baby together and Ashley gave birth to their now four-year-old daughter - Scarlet Rae. Kristin said: “I don’t think it was ever a question on who would carry our first child, I was still in my transition so I was still working on transitioning and finding myself that way.” Kristin was inspired by this, he said: “I decided I wanted to carry the next baby because I got to see how beautiful it was when Ashley carried Scarlet.” He decided to start sharing his story online and while there has mostly been support and positivity, there has been a lot of negative and offensive comments said, with people accusing him of 'grooming' and using other derogatory language. But he continues posting to ensure visibility and awareness for other families like theirs. Kristin said: “Negative comments don’t make me want to stop, they make me want to continue.”
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00:00 My husband is pregnant with our baby.
00:02 I'm a seahorse dad and I'm going to carry this baby.
00:06 The haters, they really just look at me
00:08 and say how disgusting I am
00:10 or that I'm grooming my children
00:11 or that they feel bad for my children.
00:13 Negative comments don't make me wanna stop,
00:15 they make me wanna continue.
00:17 I think when I do start chest feeding
00:18 that there is a possibility of people coming up to me then.
00:21 I started transitioning when I was 25.
00:27 Before I started transitioning, (sighs)
00:31 I felt like I wasn't in my space.
00:34 When I was eight, I told my mom that I think God messed up
00:39 and gave me a boy's brain instead of a girl's brain.
00:42 My name is Kristen.
00:43 - And my name is Ashley.
00:44 - And I am a seahorse dad.
00:46 My pregnancy is going well, pregnancy symptom-wise.
00:52 I have been feeling like it's not my body.
00:56 It's not the body that I'm used to seeing,
00:58 but I always remind myself that I am growing a human
01:02 and that this body is working hard at growing a human.
01:06 - So we've been married for 10 years now.
01:09 We've been together for 13.
01:10 We met back in 2010.
01:12 So we were best friends for almost a year
01:14 before we got together,
01:16 and then we kinda fell in love in between all of that.
01:19 (both laugh)
01:20 - What are you guys doing in here?
01:22 Are you playing with your Barbies?
01:24 Cool, can I play too?
01:26 Cool.
01:27 When I first met and started a relationship with Ashley,
01:30 I identified as female.
01:31 I came out as trans when I was 25.
01:34 - Ashley, how do you feel when Kristen came out as trans?
01:39 - I had a tough time in the beginning,
01:41 personally, to get through,
01:42 just because my own identity and being a lesbian
01:46 and then not really having that anymore,
01:49 but we got through it.
01:51 Read something one day that said,
01:52 if it's worth it, you'll find a way,
01:54 and if it's not, you'll find an excuse.
01:55 And for me, that was kind of the turning point.
01:59 - I had to learn I'm not the only one transitioning.
02:01 She's transitioning into another relationship as well.
02:03 - Scarlett, how old are you?
02:05 Can you show me how old you are?
02:06 - Yeah! - Four!
02:10 - Good job!
02:11 - Good job.
02:13 - I don't think it was ever a question
02:14 on who would carry our first child.
02:16 I think I was still in my transition,
02:18 so I was still working on transitioning
02:21 and finding myself in that way.
02:22 I was really excited about the idea of having a baby
02:25 and bringing a baby into the world and being pregnant.
02:27 As scary as it all is,
02:28 it was something I was really excited for,
02:30 so I was ready first, so I went first.
02:32 - We used a non-donor.
02:34 It's the same way we conceived for this baby as well.
02:37 - Where's the new baby gonna sleep?
02:39 - Right there.
02:43 That's where the baby's gonna sleep.
02:45 - I decided that I wanted to carry the next baby
02:48 because I got to see how beautiful it was
02:51 when Ashley carried Scarlett,
02:52 and I was like, "Okay, I think I wanna do this."
02:55 It was just my turn.
02:56 I was ready this time.
02:57 When Scarlett gets older,
03:00 we'll probably have to explain some things to her,
03:02 but we've explained a lot as she's grown up.
03:06 Once I said I was pregnant and I was gonna give birth,
03:09 she asked if Ashley came from grandpa.
03:12 (laughing)
03:13 So we had to explain, "No."
03:17 Being able to tell Scarlett Rae,
03:18 "Your dad is gonna give birth to this baby."
03:21 A lot of people think it's confusing
03:23 or that I'm going to confuse her,
03:25 but I don't think she's confused.
03:26 I think her mind is just gonna be
03:28 a little more open than most.
03:29 To conceive the current baby,
03:33 I did stop taking testosterone almost four years ago.
03:37 It took a few years, actually,
03:39 because we were trying on and off.
03:42 When I found out, I was super excited.
03:44 It's exciting, but it's also scary
03:46 because the first few weeks,
03:48 there's a high probability that it's not going to take,
03:50 especially being a trans man.
03:53 There's a lot of worry there.
03:54 I'm a seahorse dad, and I'm going to carry this baby,
03:58 and that's okay.
03:59 You wanna take some pictures for your Instagram?
04:01 Sure.
04:02 Hold your bump.
04:03 Yeah, big baby.
04:05 I decided to start sharing my story on social media
04:08 once we found out that Ashley was pregnant.
04:11 I just wanted to share the story
04:13 of being a transgender dad,
04:15 but I have received a lot of judgment
04:18 about being trans and pregnant.
04:19 That's when I started getting the most hate.
04:22 - How do you deal with it?
04:23 - I deal with the nastiness by not answering most of it.
04:27 The haters, they really just look at me
04:31 and say how disgusting I am,
04:33 or that I'm grooming my children,
04:34 or that they feel bad for my children,
04:36 or that I'm not a father and I'll never be a father.
04:39 Yeah, it's wild.
04:41 Child abuse.
04:42 Yeah, that one says degenerate.
04:44 That's awful.
04:45 What is wrong with people?
04:46 This one says I hope CPS takes away her children.
04:48 Her referring to Kristen, who is not a she or a her.
04:51 Oh, and men cannot get pregnant?
04:53 That's cool.
04:54 Clearly, we're here, so that's wrong.
04:56 - How I've been disgusting?
04:58 The poor kids, life's already ruined.
05:00 But they've never met us, and they've never met my kids.
05:04 And they never will.
05:05 You're so strong, you'll do amazing.
05:08 I wish you the best of luck.
05:10 - Oh, that's really nice.
05:12 - Yeah, I'm glad we get a lot of those.
05:14 The happy comments or positive comments make me feel good.
05:17 The negative comments,
05:19 I feel like people are just stuck in their own hate.
05:22 Negative comments don't make me wanna stop,
05:23 they make me wanna continue.
05:25 One of the ways that I do respond
05:27 is I'll make my own post, like, hi, haters.
05:30 Thank you for boosting the algorithm.
05:32 Thank you for boosting me so I can get spread more.
05:35 I think it's important to put stuff on social media
05:37 because I want other people like us
05:39 to be able to see that we can have a happy, loving family,
05:43 and we can grow our family, and we can do these things,
05:46 even if you don't see it all the time.
05:49 I think when I do start chest feeding,
05:52 there is a possibility of people coming up to me then
05:54 because then I will outwardly be doing something
05:56 that makes people feel uncomfortable.
05:58 So now, a masculine person with a beard
06:03 who's chest feeding a child
06:04 is going to have a lot of ramification,
06:07 but again, it's not anything
06:08 that's going to scare me away from it.
06:10 I need to feed my child.
06:11 Me being a trans parent,
06:13 a lot of the support has come from our families.
06:16 For my family, they've always been extremely supportive.
06:19 Hi, Mama.
06:20 Hey, guys.
06:21 How are you?
06:21 Good, how are you?
06:23 Good.
06:23 My mom, she's got a heart of gold.
06:25 She's just really supportive in general,
06:27 and we're very lucky to have her.
06:29 For every hate comment, there's her comments
06:31 of how much she loves our family,
06:34 what great parents we are.
06:36 Yeah.
06:37 I can't see why they can be so hateful
06:41 in the positivity and love that they bring to everybody.
06:46 The first thing she said when I told her
06:48 that I was pregnant, it was, "Can I do anything?
06:50 "What can I do?
06:51 "Can I help you?
06:52 "How can I help you?"
06:53 When Ashley had her baby,
06:56 I remember Chris just looking at Scarlett,
06:59 and I saw the twinkle in his eyes at that point.
07:01 It was like, "I know you're a guy,
07:04 "but I know, oh, you're wanting to have that same bond."
07:08 (laughing)
07:09 I was like, "He's gonna wanna have a baby.
07:11 "I know it now."
07:12 And to have the heart and the strength to do that,
07:18 I commend him for doing that.
07:19 And I hate for people to take that away
07:22 when it brings such joy to people around them.
07:26 Do you want some cheese?
07:27 Sure.
07:28 Maybe Scarlett will have some with me.
07:30 Yeah, she's probably hungry by now.
07:32 Grandma made you some eggs.
07:33 Grandma made you some eggs.
07:34 Want some more eggs?
07:35 Oh.
07:37 What changes would you like to see
07:38 to support pregnant trans people and their families?
07:42 Just more inclusive language,
07:44 just inclusivity all around.
07:46 For the future, I wanna continue raising open-minded children
07:50 and having a loving and supportive family,
07:53 and showing everybody that just because it's not
07:57 their normal doesn't mean it's not normal.
07:59 After I give birth, I'm really looking forward
08:03 to being able to sleep on my stomach again.
08:06 I also wanna get another tattoo.
08:08 I knew it.
08:09 I knew that was gonna be one of them.
08:10 Yeah.
08:11 (upbeat music)
08:14 (upbeat music)
08:16 (upbeat music)
08:19 (upbeat music)
08:22 (upbeat music)
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