Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 [music playing]
00:03 What's up, Tamika?
00:07 Hey.
00:07 All right.
00:09 You keep smiling at a brother like that, you're going to make
00:10 me want to buy you a fake Fendi bag.
00:14 You're too much.
00:16 Uh-oh.
00:17 You look like you want the matching checkbook, too.
00:20 What's up, Luscious?
00:21 What you doing Saturday night?
00:22 You want to go out?
00:23 I'd love to.
00:24 But I have to ask my parents, and right now,
00:26 I'm late for home ec.
00:28 Oh, well, you better hurry up, because they're probably
00:30 missing the brown sugar.
00:33 Right there.
00:35 They probably missing the brown sugar?
00:40 Hey, man, they can't all be winners.
00:43 They can if you're me.
00:45 Watch and learn.
00:45 Romeo, shouldn't you be on your way to flunking geometry?
00:53 Check out bullet heads of whack mac.
00:56 OK, you don't know me, and you probably
00:58 have a ton of guys coming up to you
01:00 and telling you how beautiful you are all the time.
01:02 But I wanted to let you know that you
01:04 can add me to the list.
01:06 You are so out of my league, I ain't
01:08 even going to tell you my name.
01:12 Wait.
01:13 What's your name?
01:13 If he can do that, I ought to be able to get a bank loan.
01:20 If he can do that, I ought to be able to get a bank loan.
01:22 [music playing]
01:25 [theme music]
01:29 [theme music]
01:32 to HD.
01:33 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
01:35 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
01:37 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
01:39 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
01:41 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
01:43 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
01:45 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
01:47 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
01:49 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
01:51 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
01:53 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
01:55 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
01:57 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
01:59 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:01 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:03 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:05 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:07 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:09 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:11 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:13 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:15 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:17 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:19 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:21 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:23 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:25 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:27 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:29 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:31 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:33 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:35 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:37 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:39 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:41 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:43 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:45 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:47 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:49 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:51 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:53 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:55 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:57 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
02:59 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:01 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:03 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:05 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:07 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:09 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:11 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:13 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:15 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:17 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:19 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:21 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:23 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:26 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:28 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:30 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:32 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:34 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:36 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:38 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:40 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:42 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:44 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:46 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:48 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:50 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:52 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:54 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:56 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
03:58 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:00 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:02 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:04 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:06 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:08 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:10 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:12 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:14 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:16 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:18 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:20 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:22 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:24 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:26 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:28 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:30 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:32 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:34 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:36 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:38 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:40 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:42 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:44 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:46 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:48 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:50 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:52 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:54 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:56 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
04:58 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
05:00 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
05:02 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
05:04 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
05:06 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
05:08 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
05:10 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
05:12 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
05:14 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
05:16 I'm the guy who makes the best movies.
05:18 You work hard and you need to sleep in your own bed.
05:21 I will sleep in his room.
05:23 Cedric, change your sheets
05:25 and take down those filthy pictures from the walls.
05:28 Mama, I don't think it's right for you
05:30 to just come in here and take Cedric's room.
05:32 Oh, I wouldn't mind sleeping out on the couch
05:35 if my dog was still alive.
05:38 Why don't you just go take down Apollonia, cookie?
05:46 Oh, the place looks nice, son.
05:49 But I don't see the plastic slipcovers I sent you.
05:53 Oh, well, sorry about the slipcovers, Mama,
05:55 but they kept sticking to my leather pants.
05:57 Oh, you and those leather pants.
05:59 You're just like your father.
06:01 Oh, Lord, here we go.
06:03 Why couldn't your brother marry a black woman?
06:05 And why couldn't your brother marry a black woman?
06:09 Minda's a nice girl,
06:11 but she still don't know how to do those kids' hair.
06:14 Mama, can we talk about something else?
06:17 All right.
06:19 When are you gonna settle down and give me some grandbabies?
06:22 You know, since we're talking about Linda...
06:26 Now, Mama, I know Linda can't put a straight part
06:31 in them kids' hair to save her life,
06:33 but her greens, oh, her greens done come a long way.
06:38 ( music playing )
06:41 Oh, morning, Mr. Hightower.
06:48 So is your mom enjoying her visit?
06:50 Yeah. As a matter of fact, she's cooking a big dinner tonight.
06:52 You ought to stop by.
06:54 Well, you sure I won't be intruding on your time alone with her?
06:56 Regina, she is mothering me to death.
07:00 Last night, she tucked me in so tight,
07:02 it took me a half hour to get out of bed this morning.
07:06 Oh, and did she read her little "Stevia" story?
07:10 Sure did.
07:12 Once upon a time, there was a very lonely principal
07:15 who spent tortured nights dreaming
07:17 about the big fine music teacher.
07:20 All right, so everything's set for our double date Saturday night.
07:32 My Uncle Louie is gonna give us a ride in his garbage truck.
07:37 Garbage truck?
07:39 Yeah, it's cool. See, there's no room in the cab.
07:42 The girls are gonna have to sit on our laps.
07:44 Ah, good-looking outfitter, hey, word.
07:46 Yo, make sure you hit some speed bumps.
07:48 Ooh, good thinking. Yo, you and me, we a dangerous combination.
07:51 You already know it. I got the looks,
07:53 and you got the garbage truck.
07:56 Hi, Romeo.
07:58 What's up, girl?
07:59 My parents said we could go out Saturday night.
08:01 Saturday night? This Saturday night?
08:03 Yo, you got a date with Tameka.
08:06 I'll meet you at 7.
08:07 Great. I'm dying to go to that new Super Fry place.
08:10 Bye.
08:11 All right, now.
08:13 You got two dates on the same night.
08:16 Man, don't worry about it. I got this.
08:18 I'll just take them to the same place.
08:20 I'll get rid of Tameka by 9 and the angel by 9.30.
08:24 Look, my man, I've seen this not work.
08:26 On "Three's Company," "Say Bye to Belle,"
08:29 and "I Dream of Jeannie."
08:31 I'm gonna go get my pouch.
08:33 Yo, I know what I'm doing, bullet head.
08:36 Remember, not only am I a client,
08:38 I'm also the Players Club president.
08:41 Oh, there he is.
08:48 My big man is home from school just like the old days.
08:52 I made you some hot chocolate.
08:54 Mama, Mama, I'm grown.
08:56 You don't have to keep babying me like this.
08:58 Did you put the little marshmallows in it?
09:00 Hi, Tower. I toned down my makeup like you said,
09:02 but it'll take too long to take out my extensions.
09:05 Oh. Hi.
09:07 How you doing?
09:10 Mama, who is this?
09:12 Hi, Steve. I'm Ruthann.
09:14 I'm a Scorpio.
09:15 I enjoy cooking, church, and childbirth.
09:18 It's nice to meet you.
09:20 Could you excuse us, please?
09:22 Mama, I know what you up to, and the answer is no.
09:29 No? How can you say no?
09:32 Her father is a mortician.
09:34 She's got money.
09:36 Mama, I don't care if her daddy owns
09:39 every liquor store on the South Side.
09:41 Mama, you got to let me live my own life.
09:45 Hey, hey, everybody.
09:48 Mother, hi, Tower.
09:50 I saw these and thought of you.
09:52 You know, my mother always enjoys a big box of chocolates.
09:55 Chocolate?
09:57 You know I'm borderline diabetic.
10:00 What's the matter with you?
10:08 Are you trying to off me like you did my dog?
10:11 Hey. I'm Cedric.
10:18 You like chocolate?
10:20 I'm Ruthann.
10:21 I enjoy cooking, church, and childbirth.
10:24 Get away from her, you heathen.
10:27 I brought her here for Steve.
10:30 Well, look, actually, Ruthann,
10:32 I think we owe you an apology.
10:34 See, my mother didn't know,
10:36 but I'm actually currently seeing someone.
10:39 Isn't that right, Cedric?
10:43 Uh, yeah.
10:45 I never heard of this woman.
10:48 What's her name?
10:50 Hello.
10:52 Uh, hey, baby.
10:54 [laughter]
10:56 [music playing]
10:59 Uh, Mama, you remember Regina?
11:06 Piggy?
11:08 That's Piggy, Grier.
11:10 Hello, Mother Hightower.
11:12 Uh, Regina, why don't we go and do that thing we do every night?
11:16 And what would that be?
11:18 You know, we go over here and look out the window
11:21 at our favorite star, you know, the Big Dipper thing.
11:23 Just come over.
11:25 Uh, listen, uh, Cedric, uh,
11:27 you, uh, keep entertaining Ruthann and Mama.
11:30 Uh, Ruthann, it's so refreshing
11:36 to meet a nice church-going girl like yourself.
11:39 So you and the Chocolate Brothers?
11:42 Well, I'm really here to see Steve.
11:46 Call me.
11:48 Now, come along, sweetheart.
11:50 I'm sure you and Mama got a lot to talk about.
11:53 You know, being fixed up with a guy
11:55 who's standing next to his girlfriend
11:57 is kind of awkward for me.
11:59 I think I'd like to go.
12:01 Ruthann, let me make sure you get home okay.
12:06 Thank you for being such a gentleman.
12:09 Oh, my pleasure.
12:10 You got your own place, right?
12:12 Regina, I just can't get over
12:19 how you blossom into a beautiful young lady.
12:22 Why, thank you, Mrs. Hightower.
12:24 Uh, what did you lose?
12:26 Two or 300 pounds?
12:29 Oh, um, Mama, that's not important.
12:34 Listen, what is important is that
12:36 Regina's extremely beautiful,
12:38 she's exceptionally bright,
12:40 and she knows how to take care of her man.
12:42 Yeah, go on, uh, scratch my back for me, that baby.
12:50 Okay, dear.
12:52 Uh, hold up.
12:54 No, wait a minute. Hold up. Stop.
12:57 Stop!
12:59 I know just how to hit his spot.
13:04 Hey, listen, Regina, I want to thank you
13:12 for lying to my mother.
13:14 Hey, why stop at lying, my brother?
13:16 Let's take a long lunch, do a little shoplifting.
13:19 Hey, we can knock a couple of old folks in the head.
13:22 Come on, Regina, it's just one more time.
13:24 If you go to dinner with me tonight,
13:26 my mother's leaving for the airport right after that.
13:28 Look, I'm sorry, Hightower,
13:30 but you have to tell your mom the truth.
13:32 Okay, so let's just disappoint my mother.
13:35 She done already had her husband leave her after 30 years.
13:39 Cedric done killed her dog,
13:41 and she bet her whole Social Security check on Tyson.
13:48 All right, but these are the rules.
13:51 No kissing, no touching.
13:54 And if you blow in my ear...
13:56 I'm taking you out.
13:58 Damn, I can get more played than that
14:02 at a waiting eggs hell festival.
14:15 What happened to that nice Chinese restaurant
14:18 that used to be here?
14:20 I don't know.
14:22 I thought you said this was your special place.
14:24 Uh, you know, Mama, whenever you're in love,
14:27 any place you go to is really your special place.
14:30 Uh, excuse me, there, uh, Foxy Brown.
14:35 Mr. Hightower?
14:38 Miss Greer? Together?
14:40 Hey, hey, hey!
14:42 What's happening?
14:44 Ooh, what's happening?
14:46 I'm really sorry about the garbage truck.
14:49 We're running late. Table, please.
14:51 Romeo, what are you doing here?
14:53 Aren't you with the wrong girl?
14:55 You and I broke up.
14:57 What kind of service is this?
14:59 We were here first.
15:01 Uh, everybody, this is my mother.
15:03 Mama, these are my students.
15:05 Hi.
15:07 Well, it seems like they would do something special
15:10 for their teacher and his girlfriend.
15:12 Girlfriend?
15:14 Mr. Hightower, when I grew up,
15:16 I want to be just like you.
15:18 Playa, playa!
15:20 Put your hair like that.
15:22 And this is my favorite baby picture of Steve.
15:27 Oh, Lord.
15:29 He used to jump right out of the tub
15:31 and run around the house buck naked.
15:34 Oh, look how cute you are.
15:36 With the suds in your hair.
15:38 And your little wee-wee.
15:42 You better give me that.
15:44 You already sprung enough.
15:46 Yeah, okay, I'll order for everybody.
15:50 Let me have the du jour soup. Bring the check, please.
15:53 But I don't like soup.
15:55 Sure you do, baby. Anybody likes soup.
15:57 Young lady, could you snap a picture of us?
16:00 Sure.
16:02 Oh, now one with the cute couple cuddling.
16:10 Miss Squeer, sit on his lap.
16:12 Oh, that would make a nice picture.
16:14 Regina, sit on his lap.
16:16 I really like this place.
16:27 That's good.
16:29 Yo, Romeo.
16:30 You got to go to the bathroom.
16:32 What?
16:34 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
16:36 He tells you when to go to the bathroom?
16:38 Yeah, me and him, we like twins.
16:40 He feels what I feel. See, look.
16:41 Ow!
16:43 Angel, you here early.
16:49 Hey, baby.
16:51 I got you soup.
16:55 Soup? I ain't ordering me soup.
16:57 I just got here with my date, Angel.
16:59 Oh. I see.
17:02 Guess we're running a two-for-one special here
17:04 that I didn't know about.
17:08 What's she talking about?
17:09 Her afro puffs are just too tight.
17:11 You know what?
17:15 I could just look into your eyes forever.
17:18 Oh, well, I could look into yours, too.
17:20 Except you got a little...
17:22 There's something in between your teeth.
17:24 I-I do?
17:26 Yeah.
17:27 Oh, I better go to the ladies' room.
17:30 Ha!
17:37 I wouldn't believe how crowded that bathroom is.
17:40 So when the first Hightower escaped north,
17:43 they arrived at the promised land, New Jersey,
17:47 and he gave his wife this.
17:50 And it's been handed down from mother to daughter ever since.
17:55 Oh, my God. Mother Hightower. It's beautiful.
17:58 Steve, I can't take this.
18:00 Just take it. It ain't like you gonna panic.
18:06 Oh.
18:08 What is wrong with you?
18:13 Why don't you just take the damn locket?
18:15 Look, I can't do this anymore.
18:17 Why don't you just get this wonderful woman some grandbabies?
18:19 What in the world is going on here?
18:21 Mother Hightower, we're not getting married.
18:24 We're not even a couple.
18:26 Oh, you're breaking up with me?
18:28 Oh, God, Steve.
18:30 You mean this whole time you've been lying to me?
18:33 Oh, my heart.
18:35 Mama, you okay?
18:37 Oh, liar. You're just like your father.
18:40 Come on, Regina. Let's get out of here.
18:42 He may be my son, but I'm gonna tell you how to break him.
18:46 Romeo was just here a minute ago. Where'd he go?
18:53 I had a lot of water. Maybe he went to the bathroom again.
18:57 Hey!
18:59 Where did you come from?
19:02 The boogie-down Bronx, originally. And you?
19:05 And I snuck my father's minivan out for this.
19:08 Girlfriend, we still gonna use the van.
19:11 No, we're not.
19:13 Andrew! Andrew, how you just gonna say no--
19:16 Baby, you all right?
19:21 Damn, cool.
19:22 Baby? Don't be calling my date "baby."
19:24 Your date? Romeo is my date.
19:27 Fullerhead, help me out here, man.
19:29 Help you out? I can't believe that you would try something like this,
19:32 let alone drag me into it.
19:34 Dogs like you, they give us all a bad name.
19:37 Name?
19:39 Chow?
19:41 Man, this is the worst night of my life.
19:48 Sit down, boy.
19:50 Son, let me tell you something.
19:52 I think it's time for you to partake of some of the knowledge and experience
19:56 that I've gained over the years from my dealing with women.
20:00 Let me share something with you.
20:02 First of all, don't ever lie to 'em.
20:05 Secondly, you can't tell 'em the truth.
20:09 And thirdly, whenever they ask you something, always say,
20:14 "I don't know, baby. What you think?"
20:18 Uh, Mama, look, I'll take you to the airport.
20:25 Oh, that's all right. Cedric's taking me.
20:28 He may be a dog killer, but at least he doesn't lie to his mother.
20:32 Hey, Ced, look, man, I'll take Mama to the airport.
20:35 Uh-uh, no, dog, that's the least I can do now that she likes me.
20:38 I'm sure gonna miss you, Mother Hightower.
20:40 Take your hands off me, dog killer.
20:42 I don't like you.
20:44 I just want to make Steve feel bad.
20:48 I just don't get it.
20:50 I'm Cedric. Everybody like me.
20:52 I'm the black Tom Hanks.
20:57 Mama, look, we gonna have to talk.
20:59 Mama, listen, you been trying to run my life ever since I left home.
21:04 Son, I worry about you. I just want you to be happy.
21:08 Hey, Mama, but I'm grown.
21:10 You just gonna have to trust the fact that you raised me right.
21:13 Does that mean you're never gonna give me any grandbabies?
21:16 Well, to tell you the truth, Mama, you know,
21:19 have been kind of thinking about settling down.
21:22 With Regina?
21:24 Well, I don't know. We'll see.
21:26 Well, Regina would be my first choice.
21:29 But if she doesn't work out,
21:31 the Deacons' daughter is real nice.
21:34 She might be 6'5", but she keeps a clean house.
21:38 6'5"?
21:42 Mama, I don't want no wife that can dunk on me.
21:46 Well, I'm really here to see Steve.
21:52 Call me.
21:55 Cedric, why didn't you tell me about Steve and Regina?
22:00 Well, you know, that's Steve's business.
22:02 I mean, not that his business is not your business,
22:05 but it's not my business to be in his business.
22:09 Therefore, I thought I should mind my own business.
22:13 Boy, you're just simple.
22:19 (laughter)
22:22 (whoosh)
22:24 (whoosh)
22:27 (silence)
22:29 (silence)
22:31 (silence)
22:33 (silence)
22:35 (silence)
22:37 (silence)