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00:00 [Major plays]
00:12 Welcome to Mojo Plays, and today we're getting sensual amongst the stars as we rank the romance
00:17 options from across the Mass Effect trilogy.
00:20 Quick note, we won't be including anyone from Mass Effect Andromeda, and will only
00:23 be including characters that qualify as actual romantic partners, as opposed to one-off flings,
00:29 so the likes of Diana Allers, James Vega, Samara and Javik don't count.
00:33 [Major plays]
00:38 Before we begin, we publish new content all week long, so be sure to subscribe and ring
00:43 the bell to get notified about our latest videos.
00:46 Number 12, Jacob Taylor.
00:48 [Major plays]
00:54 Don't pretend to be shocked that Jacob is bottom tier.
00:57 Whatever potential this man had was squandered almost instantaneously.
01:01 Being overshadowed by nearly every other character in terms of intrigue and likeability would
01:05 be one thing, but then...
01:07 He said the line.
01:09 "Heavy risk, but the prize."
01:14 It was then that poor Mr Taylor went from a generic party member, all the way to mean
01:18 material.
01:19 If that had been it, maybe Jacob could have been remembered more fondly, but then he nuked
01:23 any chance of that in Mass Effect 3.
01:26 We can only imagine how furious the few remaining Jacob fans were when they found out he had
01:31 canonically cheated on Shepard and was having a baby with another woman.
01:36 [Major plays]
01:42 Number 11, Kelly Chambers.
01:44 [Major plays]
01:52 Barely qualifying as a romance, but a romance nonetheless, Kelly certainly got the short
01:56 end of the stick.
01:58 As a yeoman, she was a great wingwoman who frequently informed Shepard of the mental,
02:02 and often flirtatious state, of other companions aboard the Normandy.
02:06 Playing your cards right could even bump the relationship beyond professional courtesy,
02:10 all the way to... getting a private dance in Shepard's quarters.
02:14 "I'm fine.
02:15 I just... can't step back onto the Normandy.
02:20 I'm sorry."
02:21 Spicy hip gyrations aside, pursuing Kelly as a romance becomes almost secondary as to
02:26 keeping her alive.
02:28 As the events of Mass Effect 2 and 3 ensue, unless you make the right decisions at the
02:32 right times, Kelly will end up a casualty of war.
02:36 There was a lot of untapped potential here, but sadly didn't measure up to much.
02:40 "If I hadn't changed my identity, I don't know what would have happened.
02:45 Thank you."
02:46 Number 10, Steve Cortez.
02:48 "I'm an only child.
02:50 Lost my parents years ago.
02:51 I had a husband back when I was stationed at Ferris Fields.
02:55 The collectors took out the whole colony."
02:57 Speaking of untapped potential, oh Steve.
03:00 Good ol' reliable Steve.
03:02 Serving as the Normandy crew's secondary pilot, he's one of two new romances brought
03:07 in at the tail end of the trilogy, as well as Mass Effect's first same-sex romance
03:11 exclusive to male Shepard.
03:13 "Stay here with me.
03:15 'Til the call comes."
03:17 "Of course.
03:19 Not one moment for granted."
03:23 The man is a teddy bear with a lot of love to give, but due to how he lost his husband
03:27 to the Reapers, he's unsure about starting up something new.
03:30 It's a very touching and understandably complex dynamic that unfortunately didn't get the
03:35 development it deserved.
03:36 "Never.
03:37 I'll be waiting for you.
03:38 Just come back in one piece, okay?"
03:39 "I will."
03:40 Number 9, Caden Erlenko.
03:41 "It's been a hell of a shakedown, Cruz.
03:42 I'm sorry."
03:43 "Our first mission ends with one Spectre killing another.
03:50 The Citadel Council's not gonna be happy about that."
03:53 Ah yes, the blandest man in the galaxy.
03:56 Mass Effect's very own punching bag until Jacob came along.
03:59 At least, he used to be.
04:01 Much like his female counterpart, Mass Effect 3 was where Caden was given time to shine.
04:06 Finding inner peace with himself, wanting to rekindle a relationship with Shepard for
04:10 the right reasons, being an active supporter and source of comfort, instead of being the
04:14 jerk he was back in his Mass Effect 2 cameo, there's a lot of good to be found here.
04:18 "Maybe you're the one who's not thinking straight.
04:21 You've changed.
04:22 But I still know where my loyalties lie.
04:25 I'm an Alliance soldier.
04:27 Always will be."
04:28 Don't get us wrong, he doesn't have nearly the same amount of intrigue and pizzazz compared
04:32 to his non-human love rivals, but at the very least we can say that by the trilogy's end,
04:37 Caden is way more than the whitest piece of bread in Earthspace.
04:41 "We're ready.
04:43 You've put the people together, the vision.
04:46 And what you've done, Shepard, is build hope."
04:50 Number 8, Ashley Williams.
04:52 "Much have I seen and known.
04:55 Cities of men and manners.
04:57 Climates, councils, governments."
04:59 "Poetry?
05:00 You gonna bore the enemy to death, Marine?"
05:06 Like Caden, Ashley was one of the primary love interests Shepard could woo back in the
05:09 olden days of the first game, and much like Caden, she left a bit of a sour impression,
05:15 given that she was very much anti-alien, and not afraid to be vocal about it.
05:19 She wasn't wholly irredeemable, but it was off-putting.
05:22 "You make me feel good enough."
05:23 "Bunk here tonight, Ash.
05:24 With me."
05:25 "Bold words, Shepard.
05:26 I like bold."
05:27 Thankfully, Mass Effect 3 gave her plenty of time to mellow out and become a much more
05:35 likeable character.
05:37 One who couldn't only match Shepard as a soldier, but also as a partner.
05:41 For those that stuck it out with Ashley, her final outing painted her in a hugely positive
05:46 light.
05:47 Not to mention a saucy one, given the intensity of their Baytrip scenes.
05:50 "You being here, with me, it means everything."
05:56 "Shepard."
05:57 "Shh."
05:58 Number 7, Miranda Lawson.
06:01 "The mission's too important to let personal feelings interfere.
06:06 But thank you, Commander.
06:07 My sister is safe again thanks in large part to you."
06:11 You better keep those wandering eyes in check, because this Ice Queen takes no prisoners.
06:16 Essential in bringing back Shepard from the dead following their run-in with the Collectors,
06:20 Miranda initially comes off as hostile, seeing Shepard as merely a tool to help Cerberus
06:24 in their efforts to save humanity.
06:26 "I care about you, Miranda.
06:28 And I think you care about me."
06:30 "This is no time for emotional entanglement."
06:33 Thankfully, given time, effort and a willingness to help her out in the darkest of moments,
06:38 Miranda starts to thaw, open up and show just how sultry the so-called perfect woman can
06:43 be.
06:44 She is much more than just eye candy, but she certainly doesn't hesitate to use what
06:47 she's got.
06:48 Now if only she had been given a bigger role in the third game.
06:51 "The odds are against us, you know."
06:54 "Maybe.
06:55 But I've got a good feeling about this."
06:59 Number 6 - Samantha Trainor
07:00 "Commander, nice to see you again."
07:03 "How are you settling in, Trainor?"
07:05 "I actually feel somewhat useful."
07:07 Much like Cortez, Trainor only squeaked onto the Normandy for the final chapter of Mass
07:12 Effect's story.
07:13 So why is she so much higher?
07:15 Because she's the bundle of sunshine we didn't know we needed.
07:18 "And then you fire me for fraternisation!
07:21 You kicked me off the ship with barely enough time to grab my toothbrush."
07:26 As a human being, a confidant and comedic relief, Trainor is awesome, instantly endearing
07:31 herself with her adorkable traits.
07:33 She's also one of the best romances for FemShep.
07:35 A lover of showers, witty banter and dreams of a white picket fence future together made
07:40 it all too easy to fall for her.
07:42 The fact she accomplished all of this with such limited exposure is a testament to how
07:46 great a character she is.
07:47 "White picket fence and a dog, some kind of retriever.
07:51 I'm thinking two kids, but are you writing this down?"
07:55 At number 5, Fane Krios.
07:57 "Are you going to be alright until the end of the mission?"
08:00 "I should be fine for another 8 to 12 months.
08:03 The more time I spend in humid environments, the faster it progresses."
08:06 This one hurts.
08:08 As an assassin with deep spiritual ties and a lifetime of regrets, Fane was already a
08:12 badass on arrival.
08:14 So is it any wonder many a FemShep fell for his charms?
08:17 Unfortunately, this romance comes with one hell of a catch.
08:21 Fane is essentially a dead man walking, and no matter what you do, by the time it comes
08:25 to Mass Effect 3, he will pass on, leaving Shepard and the player heartbroken and alone.
08:31 "Such pleasant things from your lips.
08:35 *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* Excuse me, breathing is difficult."
08:41 So is it worth it?
08:43 A brief yet beautiful bond with such an interesting character, only to lose him one game later
08:48 with no chance of bringing him back?
08:50 The choice is yours.
08:51 "Bye, Fane.
08:53 Meet you across the sea."
08:56 Number 4, Jack.
08:57 "Talk to me, Jack."
08:58 "Why?
08:59 I'm not interested in some dumb shit love affair.
09:03 Never goes right."
09:04 The psychotic biotic is vulgar, violent, and has a terrifying kill count to her name, and
09:09 we love her for it.
09:11 Experimented on her entire life, Jack is riddled with trauma, but as a result has become one
09:16 of the strongest biotics out there, making her an invaluable member of the crew.
09:20 "Screw you, you don't know me.
09:22 I've had enough."
09:23 "Fine with me."
09:24 "Right, you're too needy.
09:25 That's not my thing."
09:28 While initially treating the idea of intimacy and romance as contemptible, don't let that
09:32 deter you.
09:33 She's been waiting for someone who she feels she can finally lower her guard for.
09:37 Ironically, playing Paragon and being patient with Jack leads to one of Mass Effect's
09:41 most touching romances, so make sure to keep it in your pants until she's willing to
09:45 take that all-important step, or you will cause her to close her heart forever.
09:50 "I was gonna burn off the N7 I got on my ass, but maybe I'll hang on to it for a while."
10:01 Number 3, Garrus Vakarian.
10:02 "I really had to work at it.
10:03 I am amazed that they teamed up to fight me.
10:04 They must really hate me."
10:10 To the fellas, Garrus is the ultimate space bro.
10:13 Your ride-or-die companion who will always have your back, even when the galaxy is on
10:18 the edge of oblivion.
10:19 However, when it comes to the fem-sheps out there, prepare yourselves for a romance that
10:23 is truly special, because Archangel over here is the full package.
10:28 Going from a frustrated C-Sec officer to a vengeful vigilante, Garrus' change in worldview
10:33 allowed him to escape the friendzone in style, double-downing on it in Mass Effect 3 as he
10:38 continually proved himself to be the greatest boyfriend in the universe.
10:42 "There, there.
10:43 It's okay.
10:44 I know there are other things you're good at."
10:49 He's got reach, he's got flexibility, he's got that voice, he can dance, and he will
10:54 calibrate his way into your hearts.
10:57 Garrus is the man.
10:59 "Yeah, I hung out in a lot of places last night.
11:04 Your upper body, your lower body, pretty much all the parts in between."
11:11 "Taurians certainly don't lack for a sense of direction."
11:14 Number 2.
11:15 Tallyzora Vast Normandy.
11:16 "I haven't trusted anyone enough for that, though.
11:17 Except, well, no quarians.
11:18 You know what I mean."
11:19 "I appreciate the thought, Tally, and I feel the same way."
11:29 You know you've fallen hard when you're willing to wage war to win someone back a
11:32 homeworld.
11:33 But, as any man of culture will tell you, Tally is totally worth it.
11:38 Starting off as an eager young woman on her pilgrimage, by the time she returned in Mass
11:42 Effect 2, she had proved herself a talented leader, though still burdened by the responsibility
11:47 placed on her.
11:48 "I need to feel your skin against mine.
11:51 To share myself with you before we fly off into the final battle.
11:56 I'll find a way."
11:58 Alongside the dynamics of quarian politics and the civil war with the geth, the biggest
12:02 challenge facing a romance with Tally is her racist dependence on environs suits, as any
12:06 exposure or intimate contact could potentially prove fatal.
12:10 Navigating this, supporting her rise in station, and a million other adorable encounters cemented
12:15 Tally as one of the most beautiful souls in the galaxy, Keela Salehi.
12:20 "You said, I love you."
12:22 "And you said, Keela Salehi, I want more time."
12:29 Number 1, Liara T'Soni "What happens to your partner after the
12:33 union?"
12:34 "Every relationship is different.
12:36 Some unions are a single encounter with both parents parting ways afterwards.
12:40 Others can be more long term."
12:43 In Mass Effect 1, Liara was an enthusiastic scientist that was easy on the eyes and easy
12:48 to fall for.
12:49 In Mass Effect 2's acclaimed DLC, she went on the darkest of arcs to become the new Shadow
12:53 Broker, reigniting her passion for Shepard along the way.
12:57 "With the Shadow Broker's network, I can help you.
13:00 Maybe I can turn this operation into something better."
13:03 "Don't be a stranger this time."
13:05 "Small chance of that."
13:07 And finally, in Mass Effect 3, Liara's whole world comes tumbling down as the Reaper invasion
13:12 forces her to accept some brutal truths about all she knew, and her place in it, all the
13:17 while standing alongside Shepard every step of the way.
13:21 Liara is undoubtedly the most complete romance one can experience across the trilogy, where
13:25 her triumphs and follies are seamlessly woven into her intimate scenes with Shepard.
13:30 It's a journey you won't regret taking.
13:32 "I love you.
13:34 Now, let's do what needs to be done."
13:39 Which character do you consider Mass Effect's greatest love interest?
13:42 Let us know in the comments.
13:44 "But I'll always want you in my life."
13:47 "No second thoughts?
13:50 This is your chance to back out."
13:51 "No."
13:55 Thanks for watching.
13:56 If you enjoyed the video, there's more where that came from.
13:58 See you next time.
13:59 Bye!
13:59 [music]