A woman who was obsessed with tracking her exercise and calories would cancel plans to workout - and felt "guilty" if she didn't move.
Dani Fernandez, 25, had always been sporty growing up but began to develop an unhealthy obsession with exercise and calorie counting as a teenager.
She developed an eating disorder and spent two years walking as many steps as she could a day and hitting the gym at any moment she could – tracking it all on her fitness watch.
The habit meant she would cancel plans or not go on holidays in favour of keeping up with her workouts.
After being hospitalised twice for heart problems, Dani checked herself into a clinic for six months and is now fully recovered.
Now she spends her time reading and doesn’t feel “guilty” about not constantly moving.
Dani, a content creator, from Atlanta, Georgia, said: “My identity was in how much I was working out.
“I was obsessed with it. It’s all you can think about.
“I’d cancel plans with friends. Like road trips or going to the cinema.
“You isolate yourself.
“I felt I had to deserve food by burning as many calories as I could.
“Now I spend a few hours reading without feeling guilty about it or feeling I need to constantly move.”
Dani used to be a football player and grew up training everyday but was told she could no longer play when her weight dropped aged 15.
She said: “I started developing an eating disorder.
“I looked very fragile.”
Dani swapped her training sessions for daily gym workouts.
She said: “I thought because I’m not doing soccer I’m not burning as many calories so I restricted even more.
“I’d make myself go the gym even if I was tired.
“I felt I had to deserve food by burning as many calories as I could.
“I started to move as much as I could and restrict things as much as I could.
“The day became scheduled.
“I’d walk for 30 minutes a day but if the next day I walked for 45 minutes I’d have to keep that up.
“It kept increasing.”
Dani would also track her calories and exercise on a fitness watch and app.
She said: “I tracked everything.
“I wanted to control everything in my life. It was very calculated.
“If my family went on a road trip I’d stay at home. I’d rather be comfortable with my routine.
“My feet hurt so bad because I was walking so much.”
Dani started to realise she was unhealthy and wanted to put on weight but struggled to get out of her obsession.
She said: “I wanted to change. I was miserable.
“My heart started struggling. I had chest pains.
“I thought if I don’t gain weight and recover and heal you’re going to die.”
After being hospitalised for heart problems, Dani researched where she could help.
She found a clinic in New York offering treatment for free in exchange for research.
Dani checked into the clinic in November 2017 and her exercise was limited and had therapy everyday to “retrain" her brain.
She spent six months in the clinic before she was able to come home and now has a different relationship with food and exercise.
She makes sure she has three meals a day and has hobbies such as reading to do instead of obsessing over working out.
Dani said: “They saved my life.
“I feel in a better place.
“Now I want to move to feel better rather than to lose calories.
“I don’t body check. I don’t fixate.
“I feel free.”
Dani Fernandez, 25, had always been sporty growing up but began to develop an unhealthy obsession with exercise and calorie counting as a teenager.
She developed an eating disorder and spent two years walking as many steps as she could a day and hitting the gym at any moment she could – tracking it all on her fitness watch.
The habit meant she would cancel plans or not go on holidays in favour of keeping up with her workouts.
After being hospitalised twice for heart problems, Dani checked herself into a clinic for six months and is now fully recovered.
Now she spends her time reading and doesn’t feel “guilty” about not constantly moving.
Dani, a content creator, from Atlanta, Georgia, said: “My identity was in how much I was working out.
“I was obsessed with it. It’s all you can think about.
“I’d cancel plans with friends. Like road trips or going to the cinema.
“You isolate yourself.
“I felt I had to deserve food by burning as many calories as I could.
“Now I spend a few hours reading without feeling guilty about it or feeling I need to constantly move.”
Dani used to be a football player and grew up training everyday but was told she could no longer play when her weight dropped aged 15.
She said: “I started developing an eating disorder.
“I looked very fragile.”
Dani swapped her training sessions for daily gym workouts.
She said: “I thought because I’m not doing soccer I’m not burning as many calories so I restricted even more.
“I’d make myself go the gym even if I was tired.
“I felt I had to deserve food by burning as many calories as I could.
“I started to move as much as I could and restrict things as much as I could.
“The day became scheduled.
“I’d walk for 30 minutes a day but if the next day I walked for 45 minutes I’d have to keep that up.
“It kept increasing.”
Dani would also track her calories and exercise on a fitness watch and app.
She said: “I tracked everything.
“I wanted to control everything in my life. It was very calculated.
“If my family went on a road trip I’d stay at home. I’d rather be comfortable with my routine.
“My feet hurt so bad because I was walking so much.”
Dani started to realise she was unhealthy and wanted to put on weight but struggled to get out of her obsession.
She said: “I wanted to change. I was miserable.
“My heart started struggling. I had chest pains.
“I thought if I don’t gain weight and recover and heal you’re going to die.”
After being hospitalised for heart problems, Dani researched where she could help.
She found a clinic in New York offering treatment for free in exchange for research.
Dani checked into the clinic in November 2017 and her exercise was limited and had therapy everyday to “retrain" her brain.
She spent six months in the clinic before she was able to come home and now has a different relationship with food and exercise.
She makes sure she has three meals a day and has hobbies such as reading to do instead of obsessing over working out.
Dani said: “They saved my life.
“I feel in a better place.
“Now I want to move to feel better rather than to lose calories.
“I don’t body check. I don’t fixate.
“I feel free.”
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FunTranscript
00:00 I'm gonna tell you how I overcame my exercise addiction. A few years ago I started going to
00:05 the gym because I saw everyone on Instagram and on TikTok as well just hitting the gym every single
00:12 day or like posting that they were at the gym. So I was like you know what I'm gonna try I'm gonna
00:17 attempt to start going to the gym and I'm gonna do everything that I can to like be there as much
00:23 as I can. But I do have a very obsessive personality. I tend to obsess about pretty much everything and
00:29 it was the same with the gym. Gym literally became my whole entire life. I wouldn't feel good about
00:35 myself if I was not at the gym or if I wouldn't hit the gym in the morning. I started canceling
00:40 plans because of the gym. I didn't want to skip the gym not even a single day and even before that
00:47 I was already struggling with food and my body and I was kind of over exercising by just staying
00:54 active as much as I could. So I didn't need to hit the gym as much as I was doing it. Because of that
00:59 obsessive personality I also started doing like research and following a bunch of influencers
01:06 that were more about fitness, posting workouts. My whole life became about fitness. I started buying
01:12 books about fitness. I started buying bands, buying pretty much everything that you can think about
01:18 and of course paying the gym and thinking about the gym, watching YouTube videos about the gym.
01:24 Literally obsessed. Because I was already struggling with an ED I thought that that was my saver
01:31 because I was eating better. I hired a fitness coach so I was kind of eating better. Eating more,
01:38 yes, but still obsessed and with the gym and with also food because I started tracking macros.
01:45 That was the biggest mistake. Like girl you already have an obsessive personality and you
01:51 struggle with an ED. You do not need to be tracking your macros. Tracking every single thing that I
01:58 will put on my mouth on my fitness ball. Even just lettuce or spinach. Girl no. It started consuming
02:06 my life, my energy, my pretty much everything. I wouldn't go out at all because I was scared of not
02:14 hitting my macros or not hitting the gym the next day. So that was me. Isolating myself all the time
02:23 plus hurting my body because I struggle with amenorrhea which is the lack of period. Fast
02:29 forward to this year. I do not have a fitness coach. I do not go to the gym. Well like I started
02:35 it right now just because my back injured but I don't feel the desire of or obsession that I used
02:41 to feel. Stop following all fitness influencers. Stop engaging in that type of content because it's
02:48 not gonna help you. Start engaging in different hobbies that you would like to engage in. You can
02:53 draw, you can paint, you can do something else. So those are two good tips and the third one is to
03:00 find support around you. Honestly family and friends are the best option but I'm being happy
03:06 that I don't have that obsession anymore. That I have hobbies again. That I am not focusing on my
03:13 body all the time or body checking or like measuring myself and weighing myself and checking
03:20 myself in the mirror at every single mirror that I will pass by because it was miserable and I don't
03:27 ever want to go back to that. That just really freaking sucks.