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AmusantTranscription
00:00 *musique rock*
00:03 Yep.
00:03 Yep.
00:06 Yep.
00:09 Mmhmm.
00:11 I'm gonna help get him this alternator off.
00:13 *clics*
00:14 Ah, Dale.
00:16 I think you released the brake cable.
00:18 Dale!
00:19 No I didn't.
00:20 *coup de feu*
00:21 Oh, when I think of all my hard-earned tax dollars
00:24 going to pay a bunch of little twig-boy bureaucrats like you,
00:28 it just makes me wanna...
00:30 *rire*
00:33 Boy, that guy got him mad though.
00:35 My dad was like,
00:36 "Get out of my house, my boy ain't much but he's all I got."
00:42 *laugh*
00:43 Don't you wanna live in a house with a pool?
00:46 No.
00:47 See, twig-boy?
00:48 Now get your skinny butt off of my property.
00:51 Bobby, I know you can't talk in front of him.
00:55 I said get, get, get out of here!
00:57 Oh, fuck it.
00:58 You are out of control!
00:59 You're out of control, twiggy!
01:01 *coup de feu*
01:02 *bark*
01:02 *bark*
01:03 Ah...
01:04 Well, uh...
01:05 *cough*
01:06 *cough*
01:07 Oh, that's a hell of a weird sound.
01:08 I never made that before.
01:10 Uh...
01:11 I...
01:12 You...
01:14 Uh...
01:15 Family.
01:16 Hey Hank, I wouldn't sweat it anymore about that sex-ed stuff.
01:22 What do you mean?
01:23 All you gotta know is I took care of it with one little phone call.
01:28 Heh heh.
01:29 Hmm.
01:30 Hey Bobby, your mom's gonna teach sex-ed.
01:33 Yeah, I know.
01:34 We're gonna get to see her boobs.
01:38 So?
01:40 Bobby, you're up!
01:42 Come on, Bobby.
01:43 Your dad lost his job.
01:47 Hello?
01:49 You don't know who I am, but I know where you live,
01:53 and if you teach that sex-ed class, so help me out.
01:57 Dale? Is that you?
01:59 Oh, Hank, uh, can I speak with Peggy?
02:02 Uh, Peggy, it's for you. It's Dale.
02:05 Yellow Dale.
02:07 You don't know who I am, but I know where you live.
02:11 Dad?
02:12 What?
02:13 I just wanted to say you don't have to worry about me,
02:16 'cause I'm never gonna have sex.
02:18 Oh, Bobby, now don't say that.
02:20 I thought that's what you wanted.
02:22 Well, yes, if you were my daughter, but you're my son.
02:26 Bobby, don't you get it?
02:28 Your dad made all that up.
02:31 There's no such thing as a snipe.
02:33 No! My dad is the Arrow Leader.
02:36 He speaks only with honor.
02:39 We'll ditch the carcass by the interstate in the morning.
02:42 I sell propane and propane accessories, I tell you what.
02:49 Shut up, Dale.
02:50 You want me to kick his ass?
02:52 Oh, you are so sweet to offer, Dennis.
02:55 But Hank would flatten you out like a bug.
02:58 No, this is something Peggy Hill has to handle on her own.
03:02 Oh, yeah!
03:03 Ha-ha, you go, girl.
03:05 Louane, why don't you go get the fold-out ready?
03:12 Okay. Good night, Uncle Hank and Aunt Peggy.
03:15 Good night, Hank. What did you do?
03:17 I did what you couldn't do.
03:19 Now, I'm not saying you're not good at what you do.
03:22 I'm just saying I'm better.
03:24 [musique]
03:27 [musique]
03:31 [bruits de pas]
03:33 [bruits de pet]
03:35 What the hell are you trying to do?
03:37 So, are you Chinese or Japanese?
03:42 We're Laotian.
03:43 The ocean? What ocean?
03:45 We are Laotian, from Laos, stupid. Population 4.7 million.
03:50 So, are you Chinese or Japanese?
03:54 What the hell? Get him off! Get him off of her!
03:58 [rires]
04:00 Your lady bird, she real slut.
04:02 Lady bird is not a slut.
04:04 Oh, I'm so sorry your grandpa ruined your birthday, son.
04:08 He didn't ruin it. He made a fun.
04:10 Bobby, come on over here, boy.
04:13 Take off them pink gloves. That's woman's work.
04:17 Leave him alone. He's a good helper.
04:20 Oh, whatever you say, Hillary.
04:22 You just cannot see your father for who he is.
04:25 Well, Bobby and I both want him to stay.
04:28 So that means you're outvoted.
04:30 Oh, yeah? Well, Louane hates him too. That means we're even.
04:33 Well, Jesus loves him, so I win.
04:36 Hey, Missy! How about some sandwiches?
04:40 [rires]
04:43 Bobby Hill has a girlfriend.
04:45 He does not. Do you?
04:47 No.
04:48 There's nothing to be embarrassed about, son.
04:50 Hell, I'm proud of you.
04:52 Hell, I'm proud of you too, Dad, but...
04:54 See, Peggy? Our boy is perfectly normal.
04:57 [screams]
05:01 Bobby!
05:02 Mom!
05:03 Just look at the way you shaved against the grain here, here, and here.
05:08 And these are the worst sideburns I've seen since chair three. F!
05:13 That means you fail.
05:15 [cries]
05:19 What a bitch.
05:21 I am sorry, but sometimes you make me wonder what the hell is wrong with you.
05:25 Oh, really? Well, speaking of hell,
05:28 if I wasn't so in control of my emotions,
05:31 I might be inclined to say that's the sort of place you should consider making a visit towards.
05:37 [gasps]
05:38 It's the fuzz!
05:39 Quick! Ditch the evidence!
05:41 [screams]
05:49 I go to church too, and I have raffled and bingoed and bake-sailed my way
05:53 as close to the good Lord as you.
05:55 So do not try to one-up me, because I will one-up yours.
05:58 The complacency of fools will destroy them! Proverbs!
06:02 Get out of my house! Exodus!
06:05 So family boy's getting his portrait taken. Whee!
06:09 Did you bring your comb?
06:10 [laughs]
06:13 [rapping]
06:23 [rap music]
06:36 Sir, I don't really recommend a cowboy boot for a chubby-toed customer like yourself.
06:43 You might want to try a Birkenstock sandal.
06:46 Shut the hell up.
06:47 But the man I admire most is a real Texan.
06:51 He is my daddy, Hank Hill.
06:54 [applause]
06:56 That's my boy! Yeah!
06:59 Yeah! That was good.
07:05 [swords clashing]
07:08 Wrestling a girl, that's a tough one, Bobby.
07:11 If you win, you get the shame of having beat up a girl.
07:14 If you lose, you just better hope she snaps your neck.
07:18 That's the quickest way.
07:19 Yeah, man. Dang old dang if you do, dang if you don't, man.
07:22 Dad! What am I gonna do? I'm danged here! I'm royally danged!
07:27 [music]
07:33 It's compulsory that you be my Valentine.
07:36 [music]
07:43 Morning, Peggy. What'd you do to your hair?
07:48 Nothing. That's exactly it. Nothing.
07:51 Hey, I didn't know Peggy's brother was in town.
07:54 Ow!
07:55 Bobby, your secret admirer is here.
07:59 [music]
08:02 Grandma?
08:03 Happy Valentine's Day, boo-boo.
08:06 No!
08:07 [laughter]
08:09 Your grandmother loves you.
08:11 [music]
08:13 Morning. Where are you gentlemen from?
08:16 Arlen, Texas.
08:18 I've been to Arlen. Nice town.
08:21 Run!
08:23 [screaming]
08:25 [screaming]
08:29 [moaning]
08:33 [music]
08:37 Hey, look at me. Yeah, look at me.
08:42 Somebody look at me.
08:45 [screaming]
08:47 Did you see?
08:49 Your mama is so ugly, when she walks to the bank, they turn off the camera.
08:54 And your mother is so ugly, it affects her self-esteem.
09:00 Your mama got so much hair on her arms, it looks like she got buckwheat in her headlock.
09:04 Well, your mother's hair is so short, she looks like she's not a woman at all, but more like a man.
09:12 Mama!
09:14 Lulu!
09:16 Oh, my sweet baby girlfriend!
09:20 [kissing]
09:22 Thanks for the lift, Alicia.
09:24 All right, then.
09:26 Now, you gotta take 'em on a full stomach.
09:28 Can do!
09:30 And absolutely no alcohol.
09:33 Hey, Soda here! I got peanuts!
09:40 Peanut!
09:42 When's my next pill?
09:47 Not until after dinner, honey.
09:49 I'm gonna take a little nap, please.
09:52 Paying attention all day tires me out.
09:56 Hey, man, Hank, I tell you, man, you remember this little old lady right here, man?
10:02 I certainly do. Happy Mother's Day, Mrs. Boomhauer.
10:05 I tell you what, Hank, I've come out here like that.
10:08 You remember the dang old ruts fellow raised this boy right here?
10:11 This little old dude looks like the best dang thing here.
10:14 [musique]
10:18 [closing]
10:19 Hi, welcome to Strickland Propane.
10:21 Service with a...
10:23 Hug.
10:27 I'm really sorry about that.
10:29 Propane is...
10:31 A. Flammable.
10:33 B. Non-flammable.
10:35 C. All of the above.
10:37 Hmm.
10:39 We can't eat propane, so...
10:42 For God's sakes, it's flammable!
10:45 I could have gotten that!
10:46 You would have never gotten that!
10:48 I'll go Hank!
10:50 Oh!
10:52 [soupir]
10:54 Hello, America loves Megalomart.
10:59 And maybe I should not know that all Megalomart employees have a $5,000 insurance policy.
11:07 That's nonsense. It was a very straightforward investigation.
11:10 Heh, that's what they want you to think.
11:13 Sir, we are they.
11:15 [grincement]
11:17 [musique]
11:19 Ok, let's all shut up please.
11:21 [humming]
11:24 Now we don't have much time, so let's get right to it.
11:27 Now we don't have much time, so let's get right to it.
11:31 Oh, I haven't seen this photo in such a long time.
11:34 Who's that kissing Dad?
11:36 Well, that's me, honey.
11:37 Really? You were beautiful.
11:40 Were? Oh, Bobby, I still am.
11:44 Ok.
11:45 [humming]
11:50 Nous avons dû limiter le nombre de photos à 400 cette année.
11:52 C'était la seule façon de faire des environnementalistes se faire faire froid.
11:55 Donc tu me disais que mon garçon ne pouvait pas aller chanter parce que tu ne laissais pas un couple de Twigboys se nourrir?
12:01 Oublie numéro 6, tu es maintenant un salaud.
12:05 - Marie. - Marie! Oui, elle était mignonne.
12:08 Peut-être qu'on pourrait parler de quelque chose d'autre, hein?
12:10 Oh, oui, bien sûr.
12:11 Tu te souviens de Bob Cecil, Peggy?
12:13 Tu étais à un jeu de basketball ensemble.
12:15 Tu l'aimais.
12:17 C'était en 10e année.
12:18 Non, je ne l'aimais pas.
12:20 Oui, tu l'as aimé, mais il ne t'a pas aimé.
12:22 On va repasser chaque minute de ce qui s'est passé avant que vous, les ingénieurs, vous restiez pour les goulbiers.
12:29 Puis je saurai qui d'entre vous va prendre les charges.
12:32 Je vais prendre la liberté de la mort.
12:34 Je vais te dire ce que le vieux garçon a fait.
12:37 Je vais te dire ce que le vieux garçon a fait.
12:39 Le vieux garçon n'a rien fait. Je vais lui dire ce qu'il a fait.
12:42 Je vais prendre...
12:43 Pour Dieu s'il te plaît, Hank.
12:44 Fais comme un adulte, mec.
12:46 Allez, on va écouter "Pedal It and Peggy"!
12:49 Fais-toi la faire!
12:54 Fais la paix, Wendell. C'est demain soir.
12:57 "Down, down, set."
13:00 "That's good, man. Like a dang old blitz, man. I'll change plans, man.
13:04 Fake handoff to Hank, come around, blitz, fake reverse, blitz, run, down, hey!"
13:09 Ouais, j'aimerais avoir une femme aussi, Bill.
13:12 Attends.
13:13 "Hill Residence."
13:15 "Hank, Coleman Lucas. J'ai juste besoin de ton numéro de fax pour que je puisse me faire connaître Bobby's Soccer Diet."
13:20 On n'a pas de fax, ni de numéro de fax.
13:23 "Oh. Bien, donne-moi ton adresse e-mail et je l'attacherai."
13:27 Ouais, c'est footballisgreatsocceresdumb.com. Au revoir.
13:33 "Hmmmm..."
13:35 "Oh! I can't help you! I can't help any of you stupid people!
13:41 How does this machine work, Mr. Kahn? How do I print? How do I shave?
13:47 It's CTRL-S, you morons! It's always CTRL-S!"
13:51 "You know I'm not really here for a free haircut.
13:55 I'm here 'cause I like to check up on what's happening, what's going on, what's now.
14:00 I gotta tell you, baby doll, you're very now."
14:03 "The golfers are cheap. Oh, they think 'cause I'm a woman.
14:09 I'm supposed to be Miss Mary Sunshine. Well, to hell with that!"
14:14 "I had no idea you were a woman."
14:17 "Just take these drinks out to seven."
14:19 "I tell you what, man, I need a dang old electronic system, man.
14:23 I never got one of these, man. Check it out."
14:25 "I wake up and visit Bob. I go out and have a beer and hang out at the store.
14:31 I come back and have a nap, maybe."
14:34 "I dive into the gentle sea to free the dolphin inside of me."
14:43 "So I guess all of you are as crazy for miniatures as my mom, huh?"
14:48 "I wouldn't use the word 'crazy'."
14:50 "To the miniatures!"
14:52 "To the miniatures!"
14:54 "To the miniatures!"
14:56 "We'll go to get autographs and Troy Aikman will toss the ball around with you.
15:05 I wish I could have had Dandy Don Meredith or Roger Staubach throwing me passes when I was your age.
15:12 Even Craig Morton would have been all right.
15:15 I love you, Bobby."
15:18 "What?"
15:19 "Uh, nothing. Hey, look at that bird!"
15:23 "Okay, show's over. Nothing to see here. Everyone go home.
15:28 It's a circus out there."
15:30 "Do you think Peggy's gonna meet the executioner?"
15:36 "Well, she only mentioned the murderer."
15:38 "Executioning. For us exterminators, that's the major league. The show."
15:50 "The league requires a woman pitcher. Unlike I tell my gym class, girls can't play sports."
15:56 "At least I found one that can get it over the plate, if you know what I mean.
16:00 I'm having sex with her."
16:04 "Well, she's no good at sports, right?"
16:08 "I'm all right. I'm all right."
16:17 "My name is..." "What?" "My name is..." "Who?" "My name is Slicka Slicka Slim Shady. Extended Club Mix."
16:25 "I can't look."
16:31 "She never even got to see her first trash day."
16:35 "Big bad can."
16:40 "I'd like you to meet Don Meredith."
16:42 "So, you must be Hank Hill."
16:44 "Oh, Mr. Meredith, I have admired you from your playing days to Monday night football to your iced tea commercials."
16:52 "Well, my mom always calls me Don or Donny."
16:56 "Wow, that's a great story, Mr. Meredith."
16:59 "I do believe I'll give room service a jangle and have them send up some etouffée."
17:05 "No!"
17:11 "Look, men, it's the early birds!"
17:14 "Hey, Hank, our flight's daytime is yours. I saw you leave house at 10 a.m. We leave five hours later. You're still waiting, you dumb redneck."
17:22 "Yeah, okay. Happy Thanksgiving."
17:25 "HELP!"
17:26 "Oh, forget it. No one can hear us, or if they can, they don't care. You're lucky. You're in the army. You've got a tracking device in your teeth. They'll find you."
17:38 "Don't tell them where you are."
17:40 "You're good people."
17:41 "So, uh, got any big dates?"
17:44 "Man, leave me alone, man. Don't talk about that old question. Man, no questions, questions, questions. Man, I don't like to talk about my damn old mother, man.
17:50 But, Boomer, when you gonna get married? You don't need to make me a grandmother. No, no, they don't want that."
17:55 "Everything forsakes me. I mean, sometimes I think I should just stop putting myself out there."
18:03 "We don't need Hank. We are two beta males at the top of our game."
18:11 "Survival reminder. Need hammer and nails. And batteries for tape recorder. Also need new tape recorder."
18:25 "Now, Bill, if you see Lady Bird first, fire this flare straight up in the air, not at her.
18:31 All right, Bobby, let's get this..."
18:33 "False alarm!"
18:36 "Hang on, we're on the move."
18:38 "What do you got left in the tanks?"
18:40 "The tanks are topped out. We got nothing."
18:43 "What? But we were supposed to get a shipment in this morning."
18:47 "Okay, it's officially an emergency. I'm gonna put a call in to Texas Propane Commissioner Murray Hogarth."
18:55 "Why not?"
18:56 "You'll have a bobtail here in no time. That's it. Okay, there are procedures in place. Procedures. Procedures."
19:06 "I find that adverbs are overrated and that your adjectives are your go-to guys."
19:12 "Hey, there's my little Shakespeare. We got a pep rally coming up and I want you to read that essay of yours to the children."
19:20 "All right, I'll do it. For the children."
19:24 "Han, you touch that flag, that'll be the last thing you ever touch."
19:29 "Bobby, you know how you used to like dressing up like a cowboy? Well, now you could do it for real. The rodeo's coming to town."
19:46 "The rodeo's cruel to animals. In nature, the bull lives peacefully with the giraffe."
19:53 "Boo!"
19:55 "Look at that, man. That's gonna be like a dang old ten-pounder of roast, man. That's like I had one in New Guinea, man. I'm gonna tell you, man. I'm gonna pinch it, man."
20:08 "Oh, eBay has a Smoky and a Bennett Screaming Eagle Black Trans Am Hot Wheels still on the blister pack."
20:14 "Hey, Buck, can I borrow $400?"
20:17 "It's Debbie's roommate, Laura."
20:19 "Gail, here's where I'm gonna stick my, like my firebird."
20:23 "You gonna shut up now is what you're gonna do."
20:25 "Pike! Stop it!"
20:28 "Oh, God."
20:30 "This ain't over! Nobody rejects Demi-Gran!"
20:34 "Well, I just did."
20:35 "Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the dun, buy me some crackers and apple jacks."
20:43 "You will be called the Propane Maniacs."
20:46 "No, no. The Propaneiacs."
20:50 "That's great, Bobby. Here's to the Propaneiacs."
20:54 "The Propaneiacs!"
20:57 "What was he doing in our bedroom in the middle of the night?"
21:05 "Um, he was dropping off an insurance claim form."
21:08 "Damn, my cat-like reflexes."
21:14 "Stop with the sh-sh-sh-shug!"
21:17 "Oh, hello, Lupino. Sorry to disturb you. I need to talk to Mr. Strickland."
21:21 "Mr. Strickland went to Hot Springs, Arkansas. I pressed his gambling suit and I packed his naked lady playing cards."
21:28 "He goes last night with Mr. Hill."
21:30 "I'm Mr. Hill."
21:31 "Little Mr. Hill."
21:33 "John Redcorn's kidnapped me and he's going to eat me."
21:36 "You're with John Redcorn? Uh, has he told you anything?"
21:39 "He's playing it very coy. You have to save me, Hank. Now here's the plan."
21:44 "Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst."
21:47 "Dale, you're just going psst, psst, psst."
21:50 "Well, I've got nothing!"
21:51 "Now, my wife Peggy..."
21:53 "Boo!"
21:55 "Now, now, hold on. Hold on. Sure, a week ago I would have been booing my wife right along with you guys."
22:02 "You were, Hank?"
22:04 "Uh, yeah."
22:06 "You wrote on your application that you're 38 years old. Is that right?"
22:11 "Indeed! I tend to look older because the Japanese shot my shins off in the war."
22:17 "Which war?"
22:19 "Gulf War!"
22:21 "Bill wants to have a child and Hank's urethra is too narrow to have another child. Ergo, Bill should inseminate Peggy. Everybody's happy."
22:31 "Ow!"
22:32 "I told you before I'm not interested and none of your song and dance is going to change that."
22:38 "Oh, believe me it would. Now, as long as you have come back, I feel I must tell you that this bad boy comes with a sunroof and seat warmers in its standard package."
22:49 "Well, sounds great. Let me just put on a dress and hop on up."
22:53 "Did your parents ever tell you you were adopted, Hank?"
22:59 "Hank? How do I even know that's my name? My real parents might have called me Henry or Chris. God, Peggy, what if I'm a Chris?"
23:11 "It says here your birth parents were Tilly and Cotton Hill."
23:14 "Well, I guess that's a relief. At least I can keep loving my mom. Let me take a look. Place of birth. New York, New York."
23:25 "Aaaaaah!"
23:28 "You brought charcoal into our house!"
23:38 "I didn't know what it was. Louane asked me to hold it for her. I thought it was drugs."
23:43 "There's soot under my boy's nails. You don't get that from a clean burning fuel."
23:48 "You don't get the rich, smoky flavor either."
23:51 "Shut your mouth."
23:52 "Don't you think you've had enough?"
23:54 "Another."
23:55 "Yes, sir."
23:56 "My son is playing with dolls. There, I said it."
24:05 "He's a sissy. There, I said that."
24:08 "Do me a favor, will you? Tell the nurse you couldn't find me."
24:15 "I'm gonna get that thieving slut."
24:19 "Man, this feels a little light. You jacking me?"
24:22 "I am the Mac Daddy of Heimlich County. I play it straight up, yo. You get the hell out of my hood. She's my hoe now."
24:34 "Well, look at you in your suit."
24:38 "It's Joseph's. You didn't have to drive me to work. I wasn't gonna play hooky on my first day."
24:44 "That's not what you told Bobby."
24:46 "Your boy's a liar and a blabbermouth."
24:49 "You wanna back out now?"
24:51 "You mean back out of the race or back out of this position? Because I can do both, but I will only do one."
25:02 "There's more where that came from."
25:05 "Well, Bill, you could lose a hundred pounds and you still wouldn't be able to take a corner like me."
25:10 "Well, I've got news for you. I could never lose a hundred pounds. And you haven't been practicing. Your lawn is shaggy."
25:18 "You say something about my lawn, dogtree?"
25:21 "For years, you've basically been sitting on your spine. You suffer from a disease called diminished gluteal syndrome or DGS."
25:35 "I don't understand. What does that mean?"
25:39 "Mr. Hill, you have no ass."
25:45 "Wow, your cheerleaders really have boobies."
25:48 "Flowers."
25:52 "I don't know you!"
26:05 "Who's next?"
26:09 "Which one of you guys is the tallest?"
26:15 "That's my purse!"
26:17 "You leave your face open, you're gonna get popped. See? See? Pop, pop, see?"
26:24 "You left yourself open, Dad. Pop, pop."
26:30 "What are you doing, girl? You leave a bone in there? A ball? Ah, a bone."
26:42 "Turn around. Spread 'em. Not bad. But take a look at this. Huh? Huh? Now get out of here."
26:54 "I'm promoting you to manager."
26:57 "Oh, manager? Oh, Mr. Strickland, I love you."
27:07 "Oh, thanks for paying for milk duds."
27:13 "Well, just getting you back for the steak and lobster. Hey, try putting some of those duds in your popcorn. It's wild."
27:20 "Hey, man, it ain't no joke about here, man. I'm talking about you gonna take me to my solemn oath, man. I'm talking about that old little B."
27:27 "I, Bobby Hill."
27:29 "I'm talking about crossing my dang old heart, talking about that pledge of allegiance, tell you what, man."
27:32 "Do solemnly swear."
27:35 "That is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."
27:49 "We wage war on France on the morrow."
27:53 "That is so gay."
27:54 "You wanna throw down with a hoedown?"
27:56 "I'll get my guitar."
27:57 "I'll get my washboard."
27:58 "I'll go get my string bass, which is really a keyboard."
28:01 "Hey, man, I'm gonna go get my banjo. Maybe I'll go get a little accordion, man. What do you think?"
28:06 "No, I'd rather banjo, man."
28:12 "Bobby, I can't babysit you and Bill, and he's in the band. Bill, spit that out."
28:22 "Here goes. In America, you put 'In God We Trust' on your money. In Russia, we have no money."
28:31 "Hey, money, no money."
28:35 "Oh."
28:36 "Vaya con Dios."
28:51 "Now I suggest you get back inside that black and white and forget everything you've seen here. Do I make myself clear?"
28:57 "Yes, sir."
28:58 "All right, move out. And you, I'm gonna need your name and phone number. I'm also gonna need you to keep Saturday night open because I'm taking you dancing."
29:06 "Sir, yes, sir."
29:19 "Yeah, man, thank you very much, man. That's pretty much all I got, man."
29:23 "Hank, I don't remember leaving a duffel bag on the plane or even owning a duffel bag."
29:38 "Hank, can't you keep that other bag of yours shut, too?"
29:42 "Oh."
29:47 "Whoa!"
29:49 "And we can agree their music isn't all that bad. Maybe even okay."
29:53 "Okay if you're a prepubescent girl."
29:56 "Are you one of those, Hank, huh? A prepubescent girl?"
30:00 "Would a prepubescent girl be able to kick your ass?"
30:04 "Probably."
30:05 "You know, it's not too late for you to have this kind of relationship with Bobby."
30:09 "Yes, it is."
30:10 "Hank, all you gotta do is be Bobby's friend. If not, who is he gonna turn to when he's in trouble?"
30:15 "He won't even need to turn. We'll be right there, bam, in his face with a brick wall of rules, limitations and discipline."
30:41 "You know what's exciting? That place where you bet on which chicken is madder."
30:45 "I could not help overhearing, and I cannot help making some suggestions. Here's what to do. The Pioneer Women's Museum."
30:53 "Mom, I'm looking for cool, not lame."
30:56 "Yo, Tidpal, my dad said I couldn't see you and I just said, 'Chill, Hank, you don't tell me what--'"
31:07 "Close the door!"
31:08 "Oh, crap! Can my dad see me?"
31:10 "No!"
31:11 "Ha! You choked! You owe me a million dollars, choker!"
31:15 "I crossed an Oakington Ruby with a dainty Bess. I call it a Ruby, my dear, but I might as well call it sending you home crying to your mama."
31:34 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess."
31:36 "I'm not a Ruby, my dear, but I might as well call it sending you home crying to your mama."
31:41 "Yes!"
31:44 "Well, looky here. Now, I know it must have killed you to throw that fight, Megan, but it was one hell of a convention dive."
31:56 "If you had any looks, you could be a Hollywood actress."
31:59 "Thank you."
32:00 "Here's your flop fee. Don't touch anything on the way out, huh?"
32:04 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess. I'm a Bess."
32:07 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess."
32:09 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess."
32:11 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess."
32:13 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess."
32:15 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess."
32:17 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess."
32:19 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess."
32:21 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess."
32:23 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess."
32:25 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess."
32:27 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess."
32:29 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess."
32:31 "I'm not a Ruby, I'm a Bess."
32:33 "Praise be!"
32:35 "Nothing but net, Lord."
32:37 "Dang it, Rain, I don't think your extract of hippie is gonna help our garden."
32:43 "Actually, these are ashes from our wood stove at home."
32:46 "They discourage slugs and cutworms."
32:49 "Rain, you have just earned yourself a high five."
32:53 "Come on, don't leave me hanging."
32:57 "Tell you what, why don't you go in there and relax, and then sit back down."
33:01 "I'm gonna tell you a little story, man."
33:03 "About a long time ago in a little island far, far away, man."
33:06 "Dr. Milford, be straight with me."
33:09 "What have I got?"
33:11 "It's a heart murmur."
33:13 "Tune in tomorrow."
33:15 "Oh, no!"
33:16 "What happens? A heart murmur?"
33:18 "Come on, fellas, you got to be patient now."
33:21 "Bill, Bill, I need to talk to you."
33:24 "Go away!"
33:26 "Yeah!"
33:27 "Go away!"
33:29 "Who are you?"
33:30 "Who are you?"
33:31 "Look at the way she applies that chemical."
33:33 "She has clearly read the directions."
33:36 "Man, her dang old sheet is looking old pretty like that, man."
33:39 "I'm back in my bedroom and talking about her old pigeons, man."
33:42 "Show him your can, Nancy."
33:44 "I don't think so."
33:45 "You know I don't like you looking at other ladies' areas."
33:49 "How can I help it?"
33:51 "She's got your hot bod and my hot mind."
33:54 "It's like some science experiment that's gone horribly right."
33:57 "Bev, Bev, Beverly Hills Cop."
34:00 "Bev, Bev, Beverly Hills Cop."
34:02 "Actual fool, he's gonna find those drugs."
34:05 "Now, hold on, baby."
34:07 "That gum, no, man, it was all me."
34:09 "Yeah, all me."
34:11 "Talking about frequent bar, spend Thanksgiving with them hoes, man."
34:14 "Oh, my."
34:16 "You hiring him is just plain sleazy."
34:20 "It's over, Patch."
34:22 "No, baby, talking about not me, man."
34:24 "Talking Hank."
34:26 "Oh, Hank loves hookers, man."
34:28 "Hell, man, you talk about like a dang old roller coaster, man."
34:32 "You know, we talk about destiny and big old dipper, man, you know."
34:36 "Well, just like a dang old North Star, man, I'm always gonna be there, man."
34:39 "You know, just like a dang old GPS, it hurts gold, man."
34:43 "I feel the same way."
34:45 "I met some great guys, and I asked them to come over later if that's okay."
34:49 "Well, of course it's okay. I'll even set up the tether ball."
34:54 "Thanks for making me go, Dad."
34:56 "My son just thanked me for taking him to church."
35:00 "Come on, let's go do some push-ups."
35:05 "You know, Peggy, Jag is a rerun tonight."
35:12 "Oh, Hank."
35:13 "Afternoon, ladies."
35:27 "Oh, Hank, stop."
35:30 "From now on, you will be in the prayers of Monsignor Martinez."
35:38 "Signor, he should not be out of his bubble for too long."
35:41 "Well, this is gonna be the first time we'll be apart for more than a couple of days."
35:49 "Yeah, uh, Peggy, remember to take your glasses off before you take a nap on the plane."
35:54 "I will, Hank."
35:55 "Peggy, not in the airport."
35:58 "But you cannot deny your constant flirting with me."
36:04 "I mean, the wine, the familiar use of 'tu' instead of 'su'."
36:07 "I was just being a good host."
36:09 "Signora, I am sorry, but I do not desire you in that way at all."
36:14 "You are, how you say, um, old."
36:18 "I'm sorry."
36:24 "Look at my rig, perfectly maintained from the back bumper to the grill."
36:29 "Oh!"
36:30 "This was just supposed to be a two-week gig until I got my pilot's license."
36:43 "But I guess like so many other dreams, time has a way of slipping through your fingers and..."
36:49 "So, I see you in the market for a grill."
36:57 "Yes, sir. Do you know if this model is self-cleaning?"
37:00 "Like a cat. All you gots to do is, uh, push this red button."
37:06 "Hey, slow down. That juice expensive for poor hillbillies like us."
37:17 "Oh, you right. I shouldn't have done that. I'm a very bad redneck, Peggy Hill."
37:24 "Does Hank Hill know about this?"
37:25 "If he did, you wouldn't be alive."
37:27 "You look as sexy to me as propane tank. I tell you what."
37:33 "Pretty impressive, son. Extreme. How was it?"
37:39 "Crap wheelie."
37:41 "I can attest that he came to class complaining of debilitating back pain, attended three classes, and he left."
37:48 "He bought no merchandise and complained about the incense."
37:53 "Mr. Hill, this guy is not helping your case."
37:56 "Exactly. Let me ask you, what healthy person would voluntarily spend five minutes with this joker?"
38:02 "If I wasn't in horrible pain, wouldn't I have kicked this guy's ass?"
38:06 "Yeah."
38:11 "The peer counseling program is a way for teens to help teens or...
38:16 "tweens in the complicated world they find themselves through one-on-one dialogues and active listening."
38:24 "Oh, God."
38:25 "You know, I was just thinking about the brain. Fascinating organ. It's your biggest organ. Did you know that?"
38:32 "Um, I think it's your skin."
38:34 "Well, maybe that's one of your problems. You don't give your brain the respect it deserves."
38:40 "Wow, that's deep."
38:42 "It really is."
38:44 "Get back, you drive slow boy!"
38:48 "The Mexican speed limit is still a speed limit, Dad."
38:52 "Hey, fatty! I got a game that'll help pass the time. Who do you think is uglier? Hank's mother or Hank's wife?"
38:59 "Idiot."
39:09 *musique*
39:17 "Bwahahah!"
39:18 "I figure if the government was right about Kennedy, they must be right about everything."
39:23 "Look at this. Government warning. Cigarettes cause cancer."
39:27 "Only a true friend tells you the stuff you don't want to hear."
39:31 "I could have told you that, Dale."
39:32 "But you didn't, did ya?"
39:34 "Shame on you, Hank."
39:35 "Oh, hang on, hang on! You got it!"
39:39 "And nine seconds! A new record!"
39:43 "Interested, you fellas, in a fried banana?"
39:46 "You can fry a banana, but it's fruit."
39:50 "Here, just try one."
39:54 "Oh, this banana's delicious. The monkeys must never find out."
40:03 *vomits*
40:07 "What do y'all think is going on in the B-car?"
40:14 "Probably something boring."
40:15 "You got that right. Women and their conversations."
40:19 "Reality TV is so wonderful."
40:21 "Yeah, man, talking about all that, I been eating little apricots,
40:25 grubbing on 'til I'm taking the ears off your face, man, and on the skin."
40:29 "For dinner, I have a Greek salad, which is eight net carbs,
40:32 a steak the size of my fist, eleven net carbs,
40:35 and all the sugar-free gelatin I want."
40:37 "So that's Wednesday. Now, what about Thursday?"
40:39 "Well, Thursday is the same exact menu as Tuesday, but I'll go through it anyway."
40:43 "But you gotta hear what Bill told the cashier."
40:46 "Well, I just said, 'If it's nacho cheese, then whose is it?'"
40:51 *laughter*
40:53 "Gentlemen, time for Russian Birlette."
40:58 "One of these cans has been shaken."
41:01 "One, two, three, go!"
41:07 *laughter*
41:10 "It's not funny."
41:12 "Oh, a stain? Is that what you're coddle-waddling about? Remove it."
41:16 "If I knew how to get a huge coffee stain out of silk, I would do it, but I do not."
41:21 "Hmm, a housewife that can't clean. What exactly does Hank Hill keep you around for?"
41:26 "Why do we have all these extra papers?"
41:29 "Huh, I don't know. Who cares? I'm tired."
41:32 "Mr. Gribble, my name's on this route. We have to deliver these papers."
41:37 "Whatever you say, Hank. At this place, you can teach hip-hop dance to troubled teens."
41:42 "I'd be happy to show you some of my sweet moves."
41:45 *grunt*
41:49 *voix de l'homme qui parle en anglais*
41:56 *voix de l'homme qui parle en anglais*
42:00 *voix de l'homme qui parle en anglais*
42:02 *voix de l'homme qui parle en anglais*
42:12 *voix de l'homme qui parle en anglais*
42:14 *voix de l'homme qui parle en anglais*
42:20 *voix de l'homme qui parle en anglais*
42:22 *voix de l'homme qui parle en anglais*
42:30 *voix de l'homme qui parle en anglais*
42:32 *voix de l'homme qui parle en anglais*
42:34 *voix de l'homme qui parle en anglais*
42:36 *voix de l'homme qui parle en anglais*
42:38 *voix de l'homme qui parle en anglais*
42:41 Oh mon Dieu...
42:42 C'est 6 burles par mètre square.
42:45 Je t'ai trouvé, toi burle, fils de pute !
42:48 Bobby, vérifie les records du Guinness World Records
42:50 et vois qui est le plus souvent tiré.
42:53 Je suis prêt à dire que c'est George Jetson.
42:56 Eh bien, ça se trouve, ces deux idiots ont écrit le mot mal.
43:00 Hey, attends un instant.
43:01 Ça ressemble à du propane.
43:03 Tu vois ? Je ne peux pas bouger mon bob-tail !
43:06 Essaye de presser le bouton rouge.
43:09 Oh mon Dieu...
43:11 C'est toi !
43:13 Cool !
43:15 Je te dis quoi ?
43:16 C'est fou, ces idiots ont mis des features de The Char King sur le Flame Master.
43:23 Allons dehors !
43:24 Oh mon Dieu, tu as juste touché ce moteur !
43:28 J'ai besoin d'un véhicule.
43:30 C'est horrible.
43:34 Attends un instant.
43:37 Je vais m'engager avec ces gars.
43:39 T'es en train d'engager ?
43:40 Goûte le poivre et la chaleur.
43:48 Oh mon Dieu, j'ai juste touché un employé de parking.
43:52 Où est le bouton pour me tourner ?
43:55 Un mode de gestion, hein ?
43:58 Je ne l'avais pas remarqué.
44:00 C'est intéressant.
44:04 Wow, la Nouvelle-Arlande a changé.
44:06 Il y a bien des endroits où on peut faire du cash en chèque.
44:09 Oh, regarde cette belle dame qui prend son petit bébé pour un tour.
44:13 Oh non, l'attrape Hank, avant qu'il s'en va !
44:16 Bon, ok.
44:18 Oh, ce bob-tail s'en mène bien.
44:22 Vite Hank, vite !
44:23 Ne le chasse pas, tire-le dans le dos !
44:28 C'est pas comme ça que je fais les choses.
44:31 Tu l'as fait !
44:32 Tu es promu à la position de manager.
44:36 Oh mon Dieu, qu'est-ce qu'il y a de plus ?
44:38 Manager régional ?
44:40 Putain de salaud.
44:50 Dale ?
44:52 Tu ressembles à un bâton.
44:54 Quoi ?
44:55 Je dis que tu ressembles à un bâton, et je sais ce que faire avec ça.
44:59 Tu te souviens ?
45:01 Je crois que je le sais.
45:10 En garde !
45:12 Je te jure, c'est comme un énormité de tout ça.
45:19 Wow, tu as juste donné une femme, Hank.
45:22 Je sais. J'ai eu...
45:25 Je crois que tu dirais...
45:28 des émotions.
45:30 C'est un très bon bâton, Hank.
45:40 Ouais, c'est comme un bon tribut.
45:43 Oui.
45:44 Voilà.
45:49 Alors, c'est bon ?
45:54 C'est juste que le bâton me tue.
45:56 C'est le meilleur bâton que j'ai jamais mangé.
45:59 Peggy, je pense qu'on doit dire grâce à Dieu.
46:02 C'est terrible !
46:23 On a ajouté du cinéma à la liste de choses que Peggy Hill ne peut pas faire.
46:26 Le meurtrier de chat peut apprécier un travail bien fait,
46:30 mais le chat de Freddy me dit que je cours comme un calme.
46:33 Regarde, j'ai deux chats à l'intérieur de moi.
46:36 Regardez, mon garçon Chester a juste fait ça.
46:39 Laissez-moi savoir ce que vous en pensez.
46:49 Peggy, qu'est-ce que tu fais dans tes vêtements à l'extérieur du bain-mast ?
46:54 Je veux qu'on soit plus proche, plus ouvert.
46:57 Quoi ? Pourquoi tu veux ça ?
47:00 C'est la histoire d'une famille.
47:11 Mais ce n'est pas une histoire des gens de la famille.
47:14 Non !
47:15 C'est une histoire de ce qui les garde ensemble.
47:17 C'est la histoire d'une maison.
47:21 Bon Dieu.
47:23 On va faire ça de façon douce, du style mexicain.
47:29 Comprendre ?
47:31 Laissez-moi.
47:33 Laissez-moi.
47:35 Hey, Peggy, félicitations.
47:39 Tu as fait un bon travail, mon gars.
47:43 C'est un peu inaudible, mais tu vas communiquer avec eux.
47:46 Ils vont te donner de l'amour.
47:49 Oh mon Dieu, c'est tellement random.
47:53 J'achète des off-sets aussi.
47:54 Ils sont tellement importants.
47:56 J'ai vu un documentaire sur l'Antarctique.
47:59 Si tout l'hiver se mouille, où danseront les pinguins ?
48:02 C'est vrai.
48:04 Bonjour, Hank, et au revoir.
48:10 Elle est bonne.
48:12 Si on ne peut pas l'accrocher par un nouveau ami,
48:15 peut-être qu'on peut l'utiliser.
48:17 Essayons Pitty Pete.
48:19 Il a l'air normal.
48:21 Oh mon Dieu.
48:22 Je ne sais pas ce que c'est, mais je crois que je vais gagner.
48:26 Regardez ça.
48:28 Pour chaque de ces équerres, tu as de l'argent pour le bébé.
48:34 Mais je suis juste un enfant.
48:36 Tu devrais te payer, fils.
48:38 Oh, tes mères modernes.
48:40 Tu vois ces outils et ces gizmos ?
48:42 J'étais tout petit, et on devait se faire payer.
48:45 Et Bobby s'est bien fait.
48:47 Je ne peux pas m'occuper de la terre seule.
48:53 Je vais devoir chercher de l'alimentation si je veux vivre.
48:57 Et je le fais.
49:00 C'est parti.
49:02 Heureusement que les Plaines d'Arlen sont riches en déposits de propane naturel.
49:26 C'est la jambe qui t'a fait ça.
49:29 La jambe qui a gagné notre pays.
49:31 Ressentez le défi.
49:33 On se situe pour le dîner, pour Dieu s'en sache.
49:36 Attention à l'alimentation, Hank. Tu vas pleurer.
49:39 C'est le son de ton pied qui frappe.
49:42 C'est bon, ça l'a cassé.
49:44 C'est vrai, on a eu assez.
49:46 Tu as fait trop de coups de poing.
49:49 - Allons danser. - Tuez-les, maman.
49:51 (Il parle en anglais.)
49:55 Tout le monde me comptait et je l'ai cassé.
50:12 Si je perds ce jeu encore, c'est pour toujours.
50:15 Rien n'est pour toujours. J'avais un pénis.
50:18 Je vais me souvenir de ce jour.
50:21 Et ça peut être ce que Shem a dit ou toi qui joues au football.
50:26 - Il reste du temps, père. - Oui.
50:29 Va jouer au football, chérie.
50:32 Il a toujours les flics. Va, Hank!
50:37 - Bien joué, père! - Je suis sorti.
50:47 Allons, père!
50:50 - Hill Residence. - Je peux parler à Mr. Robert Hill?
51:14 C'est lui.
51:16 Je vous appelle parce que je voudrais vous demander d'aller sur un rendez-vous.
51:21 Oui! Je peux demander qui appelle?
51:24 Vous voulez la salvation? Vous voulez vraiment la salvation?
51:29 Vous voulez la salvation? Vous, Bobby Hill, voulez la salvation?
51:35 Je veux la salvation! Je veux la salvation!
51:40 C'était le plus grand théâtre. Vous n'avez pas annoncé le défilé?
51:45 J'ai mis des flics partout. Les bébés ont des écarts de tête.
51:50 Ils sont là-dessus, comme ça. Ils sont inutiles.
51:54 C'est mon ami cool.
51:57 C'est Hosea, le "cool cat".
52:00 - "Sub"! - Obedi, le "stallion".
52:03 "Sub"!
52:05 Ridger Bridge, le "bloke".
52:07 Bangers and mash, yo!
52:11 [Musique]
52:14 [Rire]
52:20 Oh, man, a dang old oop-la-la, man.
52:25 Ah, now this is a beer.
52:28 Why can't America make a decent ale?
52:31 Probably because we're too busy making medical breakthroughs and blockbuster movies and going to the moon.
52:37 Yeah? Well, we invented zippers, penicillin and the Zamboni.
52:42 I love Canada's national anthem. Too bad they don't play it much at the Olympics.
52:47 And your money has a girl on it.
52:49 Before Debbie gets here, I didn't exactly tell her you were my roommate. I said you were my gay butler.
52:56 Oh, no, you didn't.
52:58 Here comes trouble.
53:00 "Roommate urgently wanted for fun, good times and getting in and out of jams. I'm up for anything. Anything."
53:09 Think I'll get any responses?
53:11 Unfortunately, yes.
53:13 Carl, why don't you put on some shoes?
53:15 It's okay to walk around barefoot when it's just you and me, but we have company.
53:19 Oh, right. Your fancy party that you've been planning for days?
53:22 Well, here it is, the social event of the season.
53:25 Is it everything you dreamed of, Bill?
53:28 We'll talk about it later.
53:29 Hey, Joseph, come on. The marching band left some tubas unattended.
53:33 I can't. Lori wants to make out in the gym. She likes it when our kisses echo.
53:39 That seems right up your alley. What's wrong?
53:42 It's all happening so fast. Lori says she wants to go further. What's further?
53:48 I don't know. Maybe she wants to go to McMainerberry.
53:51 Maybe I don't need the medicine. I'm not sick. Men only makes me take them to even out my moods.
53:58 Listen, if you're not sick, don't worry about it.
54:01 Wives have turned us into pill-popping, baby-wearing, teeth-whitening sissies.
54:06 The cow says, "Moo."
54:11 The cow also says, "I have 11 distinct cuts of meat, each with its own taste and texture."
54:18 Correct! Heimlich County is the new state champion!
54:25 Ouais!
54:27 J'aurais pu entendre le bruit de la sissole toute la journée.
54:47 C'est assez relaxant.
54:51 Regardez-moi, mes deux hommes de la montagne.
54:54 On pourrait en avoir besoin. On a de l'accompagnement.
54:57 Bon, père, on dirait que c'est le dernier.
55:01 Oh, tu commences tout de suite, Bobby. Tu vas faire de la grille toute ta vie.
55:05 Comme toi.
55:07 Oui.
55:08 Oui.
55:09 Yep.
55:11 Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
55:15 © Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
55:21 © Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
55:25 [Musique]