Good Morning Pakistan | Child's Personality Grooming Special | 5 March 2024 | ARY Digital
Host: Nida Yasir
Guest: Sana Khan, Dr. Tuba, Kiran Javed
Watch All Good Morning Pakistan Shows Here https://bit.ly/3Rs6QPH
Good Morning Pakistan is your first source of entertainment as soon as you wake up in the morning, keeping you energized for the rest of the day.
Watch "Good Morning Pakistan" every Monday to Friday at 9:00 AM on ARY Digital.
#goodmorningpakistan #nidayasir #arydigital #FaridaShabbir #RabyaKulsoom #KiranKhan
Pakistani Drama Industry's biggest Platform, ARY Digital, is the Hub of exceptional and uninterrupted entertainment. You can watch quality dramas with relatable stories, Original Sound Tracks, Telefilms, and a lot more impressive content in HD. Subscribe to the YouTube channel of ARY Digital to be entertained by the content you always wanted to watch.
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Host: Nida Yasir
Guest: Sana Khan, Dr. Tuba, Kiran Javed
Watch All Good Morning Pakistan Shows Here https://bit.ly/3Rs6QPH
Good Morning Pakistan is your first source of entertainment as soon as you wake up in the morning, keeping you energized for the rest of the day.
Watch "Good Morning Pakistan" every Monday to Friday at 9:00 AM on ARY Digital.
#goodmorningpakistan #nidayasir #arydigital #FaridaShabbir #RabyaKulsoom #KiranKhan
Pakistani Drama Industry's biggest Platform, ARY Digital, is the Hub of exceptional and uninterrupted entertainment. You can watch quality dramas with relatable stories, Original Sound Tracks, Telefilms, and a lot more impressive content in HD. Subscribe to the YouTube channel of ARY Digital to be entertained by the content you always wanted to watch.
Join ARY Digital on Whatsapp https://bit.ly/3LnAbHU
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00:07:10 Welcome.
00:07:14 Welcome back.
00:07:15 Good morning, Pakistan.
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00:09:39 Educational psychologist.
00:09:40 Educational psychologist.
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00:10:20 ADHD basically is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
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00:11:05 Attention issues.
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00:13:51 deficiency. There can be many causes of this. It manifests in a different way in every person, in every child.
00:14:00 Sometimes, adults have always had this. It's not like they have a label or a title now.
00:14:06 Otherwise, it was always there. - We were screaming, we were sitting in front, and mother said something and left.
00:14:10 We didn't hear anything. - It's like that. - I don't know what it was. All children are like this.
00:14:17 Sometimes, there is a disorder. One is that you are having symptoms. Then when it becomes aggressive or increases,
00:14:24 because the child is exposed to anxiety or emotional neglect or whatever the reason is,
00:14:30 when it increases, then it becomes a disorder. And that is like a mental state.
00:14:37 In that, the child is fidgety. It is not necessary that he is holding something or not focusing on you.
00:14:41 Sometimes, they are very fidgety. They are very anxious in their body. They can't sit still.
00:14:46 Sometimes, they move the chair while working in the class. Sometimes, they play with the eraser.
00:14:50 Sometimes, the children are scribbling on the tables. But they cannot sit at calm and pause.
00:14:58 Like I am talking to you and you are sitting and listening. They struggle.
00:15:02 So, they will move something, move their legs, move the chair. - Don't children move their legs like this?
00:15:07 They are not at rest. - Yes. - So, body is anxious. And hence, they cannot focus.
00:15:12 Whatever work they are doing, they are moving their legs. And there is even a slight distraction in the environment.
00:15:17 Like if some other child says something or something falls, this child suddenly leaves everything.
00:15:23 There are some children who… You saw, they are singing songs.
00:15:26 One child must be doing homework. The other child must be leaving his work immediately due to slight distraction
00:15:32 because he is not able to focus. For that, auditory stimulation triggers something and he leaves everything.
00:15:39 So, ADHD… - And it is difficult for him to come back. - Yes, it is difficult.
00:15:43 So, there are strategies in which you can help. And as I said, there are testing batteries.
00:15:48 It is a comprehensive test which you diagnose. There are many worksheets in which testing batteries are used.
00:15:55 These are standardized tests. They are being used in a similar way all over the world.
00:16:00 And these testing batteries are prepared with years of research.
00:16:05 So, some clinical psychologists and some psychiatrists have these. And only they can use them.
00:16:11 And then when they do the testing in which two sessions are done, three sessions are done,
00:16:15 there is a form which is given in the school and parents describe the behaviors.
00:16:20 - And if you get forms filled, you are giving the name of testing batteries. - Absolutely.
00:16:23 So, we get things done by the children ourselves. - Okay. - There is observation as well.
00:16:27 There are many things in it. It is a very comprehensive test in which three to four sessions are sometimes given.
00:16:34 Before giving any kind of diagnosis. Because you are giving a label to someone.
00:16:38 You tell ADHD, where to go from there. Because the poor parent gets very worried about what to do.
00:16:44 And then how to deal with it. There are many different strategies for that.
00:16:48 And what is the level? Is it severe? Is it mild? Is it severe? Does he need medicine?
00:16:55 Or does he not need medicine? If he needs medicine, then he might need to see a psychiatrist.
00:16:59 He might need to see a psychiatrist. - How old can this be diagnosed?
00:17:05 - This ADHD is 3+. - 3+? - Yes. Before that, we have a child like this.
00:17:10 He is a toddler. He will do mischief. He will go here and there. He will get distracted.
00:17:13 If you talk to a 2-year-old, 1.5-year-old, 2.5-year-old child, he can get distracted.
00:17:18 He can go to his day-care center. He likes this ball. He has caught it. He has caught the cup.
00:17:22 - The observations after 3+ and after that... - But the child cannot tell at 3+.
00:17:28 - Only his teacher or his mother can observe him. - Does he get a variant form?
00:17:32 - Does he get a teacher form? - No.
00:17:34 - Do they question him? - Do these tests happen regularly in schools?
00:17:38 Or when the teacher observes...
00:17:41 Because the teacher is the one who studies.
00:17:43 The mother might not be able to observe at home. If the child is not eating properly
00:17:48 or if he is not feeling well, the mother can observe.
00:17:50 But this thing, the teacher might observe.
00:17:53 And in our schools, especially in Pakistani schools,
00:17:56 the teachers are not so sharp and educated
00:18:00 that they observe.
00:18:04 - What do you say? - That's very true.
00:18:06 I have been working in a school. I am an A-level psychology teacher.
00:18:11 But I am very familiar with all of these issues because I am also working as a school counselor.
00:18:15 So, the issues you are talking about, the child not sitting properly and all that,
00:18:19 I think the biggest definition or distinction that you are talking about,
00:18:22 that he moves his leg or he does not sit properly,
00:18:25 the distinction is that all the children move their legs,
00:18:29 all the children drop a rubber pencil,
00:18:31 and all the children get distracted.
00:18:33 But to the point where it starts to limit their functioning.
00:18:36 That is where ADHD comes in.
00:18:38 If a child is not at all better in class, then definitely he will not be able to follow any instructions.
00:18:43 Even if there is a teacher, and in small classes, you often have two teachers.
00:18:47 So, often what's happening is that,
00:18:49 in kindergarten and nursery, it is not so prominent,
00:18:51 but from grade 1 and grade 2 onwards, it starts becoming more prominent.
00:18:54 Because one teacher in a class of 30 students.
00:18:57 So, obviously, the teacher is not able to deal with such an active child,
00:19:01 because she is not able to understand the symptoms.
00:19:04 Then, obviously, it starts getting serious.
00:19:07 Then, the parents are called, the headmistress is also involved.
00:19:11 The numbers are not coming up. How?
00:19:13 That is why they call, that your child's numbers are not coming up,
00:19:16 he is not reading the test notes, I am not able to reach there.
00:19:19 We do not have exams till class 5,
00:19:21 but on daily work and daily performances, the basic skills, reading and writing,
00:19:26 for example, in grade 1, if a child can read sentences,
00:19:31 a grade 1 child starts reading, 4 word sentences.
00:19:35 But if the child significantly falls behind, why?
00:19:38 Because he is not able to be attentive in class.
00:19:41 And not because he does not want to, or he does not want to be attentive.
00:19:45 Because the things he is experiencing, neither he is able to understand,
00:19:48 definitely because he is a child.
00:19:50 Neither the parents nor the teacher is able to understand.
00:19:53 Then, after that, everyone sits there and talks about this thing,
00:19:57 and it is very important to find a solution to this problem.
00:20:00 That is, if I bring this to people in simple words,
00:20:04 then the thing is, if you feel that your child's progress,
00:20:09 is not with the age of the class children.
00:20:13 Nowadays, the report cards are such that it is written,
00:20:17 that progress up to the class,
00:20:20 class to the back, class to the top.
00:20:23 Such a written thing comes in progress for your children.
00:20:28 So, if his progress is below average,
00:20:32 the average child, then an alarm will go off.
00:20:35 Then something more is happening,
00:20:38 that he is not attentive in the test or in the class.
00:20:41 Sometimes, some children disturb the whole class.
00:20:44 Sometimes, the parents go to someone else for a complaint.
00:20:47 Then the teacher says that your child is doing a very bad job.
00:20:52 He is not able to do it. What is the problem?
00:20:54 This is how it starts.
00:20:55 So, basically, continuous declining.
00:20:57 There is a continuous decrease in performance.
00:21:01 In his class performance, in his academic performance,
00:21:05 class performance, I mean, that the child is not listening to the focus in the class,
00:21:09 is not sitting properly.
00:21:10 Then, in his academic studies, the numbers are decreasing.
00:21:13 And it is coming continuously.
00:21:14 It is not like it came once, then came again.
00:21:16 The teachers used to say that you are a duffer, you are not understanding.
00:21:19 Those things have become old now.
00:21:22 Actually, this problem is there.
00:21:23 There is a reason.
00:21:24 There is a reason behind it.
00:21:25 Okay, Himidha, let's talk about ADHD.
00:21:27 ADHD is one of the factors.
00:21:29 There is one reason. There are many more.
00:21:31 Dyslexic children, dyscalculia.
00:21:33 All of them come under ADHD.
00:21:34 They come under ADHD.
00:21:35 They are different.
00:21:36 They have different diseases.
00:21:37 They are disorders.
00:21:38 Parents go crazy.
00:21:39 Apart from this, there are emotional issues.
00:21:41 These are not all.
00:21:42 So, there is an emotional issue.
00:21:43 The child is worried.
00:21:44 He is a victim of anxiety.
00:21:45 There is a fight in the parents' house.
00:21:47 He has put it on his mind.
00:21:49 He is free in his thoughts.
00:21:50 The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are fighting.
00:21:52 Exactly.
00:21:53 He is getting bullied.
00:21:54 He is getting bullied.
00:21:55 After the teacher leaves, the rest of the class children call him fat, fat,
00:21:58 or glasses, glasses.
00:21:59 He is fat, wears glasses.
00:22:00 He is dry, thin, black.
00:22:01 They talk openly.
00:22:02 Exactly.
00:22:03 Exactly.
00:22:04 This is called being bullied.
00:22:05 The child is being bullied.
00:22:06 So, his self-esteem becomes so low that he is not able to express himself.
00:22:10 He considers himself to be very inferior.
00:22:12 When he considers himself inferior…
00:22:13 So, you are saying that there is not one thing.
00:22:15 There are many different things.
00:22:16 For which it is important to sit and observe the parent and teacher.
00:22:21 What is going on with him?
00:22:23 We will come to all the things one by one.
00:22:25 In the next segment, there is bullying and all those things.
00:22:28 We have mothers here who will share their children's things.
00:22:32 With the help of that, we will be able to identify the different things that are present in the children.
00:22:38 We have started with ADHD.
00:22:42 Because, these days, this is the only thing that is present in my surroundings.
00:22:45 Earlier, when Aamir Khan's film came out, there was dyslexia.
00:22:49 That this happens, this happens, this happens.
00:22:51 And all the parents started having delusions.
00:22:54 There are delusions.
00:22:55 There are delusions.
00:22:56 I am also a mother who is very delusional.
00:22:58 This is happening.
00:22:59 I have heard that I feel that my child is the same.
00:23:01 We are very weird.
00:23:03 This is spreading these days.
00:23:04 This is spreading.
00:23:05 This slight fever that he has, maybe he also has it.
00:23:08 So, parents are delusional.
00:23:11 But, many parents take everything very lightly.
00:23:16 Like, you must have heard about fathers.
00:23:18 If the child has a problem, fathers will say, "He is doing drama.
00:23:23 Do drama.
00:23:24 Put one."
00:23:25 They are a little hardcore.
00:23:27 People are a little.
00:23:28 So, sometimes the parent does not understand how to act.
00:23:33 What to act.
00:23:35 They also become parents for the first time.
00:23:37 Absolutely.
00:23:38 So, you said that the symptoms of ADHD are that if there is a constant decline in his performance.
00:23:45 In functionality.
00:23:47 Just in studies or in playing.
00:23:49 In functionality.
00:23:50 In sports or any.
00:23:52 Take care of yourself.
00:23:53 Personal too.
00:23:54 There is a personal domain too.
00:23:55 Social, social.
00:23:56 In connecting with people.
00:23:58 Making connections with people.
00:23:59 That is happening behind.
00:24:00 Apart from this, academics, studies.
00:24:02 There is one factor.
00:24:03 If there is a decline in all these things, then there can be some reason.
00:24:09 One of the reasons is ADHD.
00:24:11 Now, I understood how the symptoms reached.
00:24:15 What is the reason?
00:24:16 Is it genetic?
00:24:18 What is the reason?
00:24:19 What are the medical reasons?
00:24:21 So, there are many different opinions in this.
00:24:25 So, if you meet all four psychologists, the difference of all four will be different.
00:24:30 So, tell me separately.
00:24:32 It's coming from childhood trauma basically.
00:24:34 And I, as if I am talking about myself, I always believe that like vitamin D deficiency,
00:24:41 similarly, when children are not getting that enough attention,
00:24:45 the attention that we are talking about, the attention that children need.
00:24:49 Sometimes we are fulfilling all the needs, like physical needs,
00:24:52 that food is available on time, clothes are available,
00:24:54 we are going to the best of places, but what that child is looking for is emotional connection.
00:24:58 And somewhere, when that attention is missing,
00:25:01 so you become deficient on attention and you are feeling anxious.
00:25:06 Something is missing in that house, in that environment,
00:25:09 or in your first agency, in your parents, something is missing that the child needs.
00:25:14 And probably parent, and I am not blaming the parent,
00:25:17 because probably the parent is not aware,
00:25:19 but the child's need is not being communicated and he is not getting it.
00:25:24 And that is where they start being anxious initially.
00:25:27 That he is irritable or he is constantly moving.
00:25:31 And then slowly, when he is aggravated and he is not getting the help that he should get,
00:25:37 that turns into a disorder.
00:25:39 Okay. We are taking a break.
00:25:41 After the break, mothers will discuss their children's problems with us
00:25:46 and then we will be able to analyze with their help that if my child also has such symptoms,
00:25:52 what should I do? What should I understand?
00:25:57 When my child is not studying, should I scold him badly, beat him, make him a fool?
00:26:02 How should I tackle him?
00:26:04 Sometimes we just don't understand where to go, who to ask.
00:26:09 So here, we are sitting with our heads together,
00:26:13 that maybe with all these things, your, my, all of these,
00:26:16 no one's problem can be solved.
00:26:18 Good morning, Pakistan.
00:26:20 [Music]
00:26:30 Welcome, welcome back. Good morning, Pakistan.
00:26:33 Sorry, the break was a little long.
00:26:36 But anyway, we didn't want to keep running our session during the break.
00:26:40 [Laughs]
00:26:42 Now we are talking to some mothers
00:26:46 who want to share their children's problems with us
00:26:50 and with their help, if your child has any such problem,
00:26:54 you will genuinely be able to find out what we should do.
00:27:00 So I have with me right now, Iffat Umair.
00:27:04 And she would like to discuss something.
00:27:06 Yes, Iffat.
00:27:07 I have two daughters.
00:27:09 The older one, the younger one, is better, God bless.
00:27:12 Because she is young, her problems are not being solved yet.
00:27:15 But my elder daughter is seven years old.
00:27:18 But her concentration on studies, she loses it.
00:27:23 When I make her sit, I say, "Son, you have to study."
00:27:27 I teach her something, she talks about her class,
00:27:31 she talks about her friends.
00:27:33 It becomes very difficult to bring her to the topic.
00:27:36 Then often it happens that there are complaints from school,
00:27:40 that your daughter, she doesn't study,
00:27:44 she distracts the other kids.
00:27:48 She is working too much, she doesn't let them work.
00:27:51 Her homework is not complete, she doesn't let the other kids do it.
00:27:56 So when there is parent-peeting,
00:28:00 I tell the teachers, "What is the reason for this?"
00:28:04 "She does this much, you should look at her."
00:28:08 "Why is she losing her confidence?"
00:28:13 When I am teaching, she says, "Mom, I have to do this."
00:28:18 I come in a minute. It becomes very difficult to make her sit.
00:28:22 She wants to slip up on the pretext.
00:28:25 Because you teach her.
00:28:27 Yes, I teach her.
00:28:28 You also slap her once in the class.
00:28:30 Yes, of course, when the kids don't come to the class.
00:28:33 You can ask her a question if you want.
00:28:35 The kids don't come to the class.
00:28:36 Once I tell them to sit and study.
00:28:38 She doesn't like to study.
00:28:42 Which class is she in?
00:28:43 Fourth class.
00:28:45 Tell me, how do they get good results?
00:28:48 Many kids don't study, but get good results.
00:28:51 Can you tell me?
00:28:52 No, her result was A1 in class 1.
00:28:57 Then she came in second class, and got A+.
00:29:01 In third class, her grade went down.
00:29:04 I don't understand this.
00:29:08 I make her concentrate.
00:29:11 She may be able to concentrate after studying.
00:29:13 But she may lose her confidence or focus.
00:29:18 She is a mischievous girl.
00:29:20 She is not concentrating.
00:29:23 She is not letting her kids study.
00:29:26 You talked about studies.
00:29:28 Have you seen her in other activities?
00:29:30 How is her focus?
00:29:31 For example, she is playing or watching TV.
00:29:34 Or is there any activity other than studies?
00:29:37 She is very busy.
00:29:40 She is focusing.
00:29:42 She doesn't have any focus issues.
00:29:44 What else is she good at?
00:29:47 Other than studies, what else?
00:29:50 She is good at coloring and painting.
00:29:53 She is good at painting.
00:29:54 She makes animations.
00:29:57 She is good at technology.
00:29:59 She is good at painting.
00:30:01 She is good at drawing.
00:30:05 She is interested in studies.
00:30:08 But she is not able to concentrate.
00:30:12 She doesn't give time to her studies.
00:30:14 She is losing her interest in studies.
00:30:19 There can be many reasons for this.
00:30:21 Maybe she is having some problems in processing studies.
00:30:29 Sometimes, teachers are not good in your subjects.
00:30:32 You should see that.
00:30:34 You work hard in a teacher's subject.
00:30:37 You enjoy it.
00:30:38 It is a teacher's class.
00:30:40 And because of a teacher, you find the subject boring.
00:30:43 Is it the same in English, Urdu, Maths?
00:30:46 Or is it a specific subject?
00:30:48 She is very behind in English and Maths.
00:30:52 She doesn't like to study Maths.
00:30:55 Her teacher is strict.
00:31:02 She runs away from her teacher.
00:31:04 She is very behind in English and Maths.
00:31:07 Do other students do the sums easily?
00:31:13 No, she does it.
00:31:14 She used to take A1 and then A+.
00:31:16 She wants A1.
00:31:18 Her grade was very high.
00:31:20 It is coming down.
00:31:22 She is in Class 4.
00:31:25 In Class 1 and 2, the curriculum is lighter.
00:31:29 Students are learning.
00:31:32 In Class 3 and 4, there are more subjects.
00:31:34 And the writing work is more.
00:31:37 Like paragraph writing.
00:31:39 Students are writing essays.
00:31:40 In Urdu, there is a lot of introduction.
00:31:45 There is a lot of load.
00:31:49 Tell us about her routine.
00:31:54 The main reason is that her routine is very disturbed.
00:31:59 Her sleeping time.
00:32:01 She sleeps late.
00:32:03 Her sleeping time is bad.
00:32:05 You found out yourself.
00:32:06 What can I tell you?
00:32:08 The biggest thing is that if our children sleep late,
00:32:11 no matter how intelligent they are, they cannot excel in school.
00:32:15 Because they are studying with their mind.
00:32:17 If your mind is not fresh, the child will feel difficult.
00:32:21 He will run away from it.
00:32:23 It is not easy to play.
00:32:25 You have to do it in one way.
00:32:29 You can play in any way.
00:32:31 You find an easy way.
00:32:32 There is no easy way in studies.
00:32:34 If the math is solved like this, it will be solved like this.
00:32:36 If the answer to this question is like this, it will be like this.
00:32:39 There are a lot of children in our house.
00:32:42 I am talking about ordinary homes.
00:32:44 They stay awake late at night.
00:32:45 Children stay awake till their parents are awake.
00:32:47 There are so many people around.
00:32:49 Children sleep late.
00:32:51 Why do children sleep late?
00:32:53 There is a mobile.
00:32:57 There is a mobile.
00:32:58 Why do such small children have permission to use the mobile at night?
00:33:01 Please tell me this.
00:33:03 These children will not eat food because they do not get their mobile.
00:33:06 One minute.
00:33:07 You tell me that the children who sleep late and the parents feel that this is not a big thing.
00:33:14 Their home environment has been like this since childhood.
00:33:17 What are the disadvantages of this?
00:33:19 I think this is the most essential need.
00:33:25 What are the basic needs of a child when he is born?
00:33:27 Sleeping, eating, changing diapers, or milk.
00:33:30 When a child's basic needs are not fulfilled, he does not know what is for him.
00:33:35 You know that the growth hormones in the body should be at 10, 9.30, 10 o'clock.
00:33:40 The child should sleep.
00:33:41 They are making the best of whatever nature has given them at 10 o'clock.
00:33:46 The child should sleep at 9.30 or 9.30.
00:33:50 You listen to our mothers carefully.
00:33:54 Their routine is that when the child comes from school, they put him to sleep for two hours.
00:33:59 He slept in the afternoon.
00:34:00 Get up, freshen up, do homework at night.
00:34:02 And then he is sleeping late at night.
00:34:05 What kind of routine is this?
00:34:08 I would say that this is not appropriate.
00:34:12 Taking a nap for half an hour, 45 minutes, 30 to 45 minutes.
00:34:20 Do not let it go early enough.
00:34:22 Because then the child will go to sleep.
00:34:24 If you give him sleep, then he will sleep at night.
00:34:28 And it doubles.
00:34:29 If you are sleeping for an hour, then you will sleep twice as late at night as you sleep at night.
00:34:36 What do you think?
00:34:38 The child is tired from school.
00:34:40 Let him sleep.
00:34:41 It is not like that.
00:34:42 You have given such a practice.
00:34:43 If the child has taken a nap for 8 to 10 hours,
00:34:48 Believe me, the child will work his brain and body efficiently for the whole day.
00:34:53 With 30 minutes of nap.
00:34:55 This is the concern of the parents.
00:34:58 He is so tired.
00:34:59 This is waking up in the morning.
00:35:00 And it is easy.
00:35:01 The child is asleep, we do our work.
00:35:03 Exactly.
00:35:04 He was in school, then he came home.
00:35:07 There was an effort to feed him.
00:35:09 Then he slept, I got peace for two hours.
00:35:11 It is not like that.
00:35:12 First of all, change the routine.
00:35:15 Work on the child's routine.
00:35:17 And then make the study of the child at a trusting level.
00:35:20 Try to take one subject at a time.
00:35:23 Try to do it differently.
00:35:25 Be more involved.
00:35:27 This is also a drawback of parents.
00:35:29 I am asking this question, do it.
00:35:31 I will come from the kitchen.
00:35:33 I will do this work.
00:35:35 The child will be distracted.
00:35:37 And the tuition, where you go to study.
00:35:40 They do the same.
00:35:41 They have 5 to 6 children sitting together.
00:35:44 They give work.
00:35:45 Seriously, I am telling the truth.
00:35:46 The observations of my life.
00:35:48 They are coming out of here.
00:35:50 And that work, I am coming.
00:35:52 Now I have sent them to the tuition.
00:35:54 If the mother is not teaching herself.
00:35:55 And there 5 to 10 children are sitting together.
00:35:58 And they do all the homework.
00:35:59 Oh, man, the same thing is in school.
00:36:01 Then the same thing is getting in the tuition.
00:36:03 So where will he be able to pick it?
00:36:06 So you need to change your strategies, techniques, methods.
00:36:10 You need to put a little effort yourself.
00:36:13 It will be a positive effort.
00:36:15 YouTube videos also help a little.
00:36:17 How to help the child teach.
00:36:19 She does a lot of things.
00:36:21 There are many channels, you can subscribe.
00:36:23 And where the written work is more.
00:36:25 So before focusing on the written, tell him to tell me spoken.
00:36:28 Make spoken first.
00:36:30 And then after spoken, whatever sentences she makes.
00:36:33 Then write it after that.
00:36:35 Because we come directly to the written.
00:36:36 We forget that we have heard the language.
00:36:38 We have learned how to listen to the language.
00:36:40 Then speak, then read, then write.
00:36:42 You have to pay a little attention.
00:36:44 And I would like to add one thing.
00:36:46 If you are hitting him or you are getting punitive towards him.
00:36:49 He is getting punished like this.
00:36:51 So the child will be afraid of making a mistake.
00:36:53 Sometimes he will hesitate to give his right answer.
00:36:56 Or will not feel comfortable.
00:36:58 And he will be beaten or scolded.
00:37:00 Instead of giving him negative feedback.
00:37:05 Tell him that if he has done his work for 40 minutes.
00:37:09 Then I will play with you for 10 minutes.
00:37:11 And I think in today's days.
00:37:14 And in today's world.
00:37:16 The most missing thing is that.
00:37:18 Mothers do not play with children.
00:37:20 Whenever I ask a mother.
00:37:22 When was the last time you played with a child alone?
00:37:25 So actually she is not lost.
00:37:27 She keeps playing.
00:37:29 But the purpose of that game is not fulfilled.
00:37:32 The attachment, the fun.
00:37:34 Play with your mother.
00:37:36 Whether you play Uno or Ludo for 10 minutes.
00:37:38 Or any board game.
00:37:40 Or any game like this.
00:37:42 Any game.
00:37:43 Keep it like an incentive.
00:37:45 So your work quality.
00:37:47 Goes in a very positive way.
00:37:49 You say, you work for 30-40 minutes.
00:37:51 I will play with you for 10 minutes.
00:37:53 And then make sure.
00:37:55 You play with him.
00:37:57 You have committed.
00:37:59 You should not be afraid of getting beaten.
00:38:01 Confidence is the first thing that goes from the house.
00:38:05 When the child is afraid.
00:38:07 Will I make a mistake?
00:38:09 Mistakes are most welcome.
00:38:11 If he does not make a mistake.
00:38:13 How will the child learn?
00:38:15 Now I would like to ask you.
00:38:17 My son is 5 years old.
00:38:19 I send him to do everything properly.
00:38:23 But he goes to school and forgets everything.
00:38:26 Means he does not remember.
00:38:28 It becomes completely blank.
00:38:30 Is 5 years old?
00:38:31 5 years old.
00:38:32 What to do at 5 years old?
00:38:34 And Mashallah.
00:38:36 He is so intelligent.
00:38:38 If he is looking at his tab.
00:38:40 And I am talking to someone.
00:38:42 He will listen to the focus.
00:38:44 And will also answer.
00:38:46 My child is also like this.
00:38:48 He knows everything that we are talking about.
00:38:50 And what he says, he does not remember.
00:38:52 What is this?
00:38:54 And he is also looking at the tab.
00:38:56 And what we are talking about.
00:38:58 In the kitchen or anywhere.
00:39:00 He is sitting in the lounge.
00:39:02 He is focusing on that.
00:39:04 He will answer immediately.
00:39:06 Mom is not like this.
00:39:08 This is happening.
00:39:10 And going to school completely blank.
00:39:12 Copy, test, whatever is being given.
00:39:16 It is completely blank.
00:39:18 He is not able to write a word.
00:39:20 Although he was doing well in tuition.
00:39:22 We were making him practice 4 to 5 times.
00:39:24 And I was also seeing.
00:39:26 That son is writing.
00:39:28 How is the tuition teacher dealing with him?
00:39:30 What is she doing?
00:39:32 Is she making him write or not?
00:39:34 I am saving his copy.
00:39:36 So that I can show it to the teachers at school.
00:39:38 That he is doing very well in tuition.
00:39:40 But what happens when you go to you?
00:39:42 That it becomes completely blank.
00:39:44 We had a situation.
00:39:46 When we used to memorize everything.
00:39:48 When we were talking.
00:39:50 When we were sensible.
00:39:52 When we had board exams.
00:39:54 We forgot after seeing the exam.
00:39:56 Basically anxiety and confidence issue.
00:39:58 Belief on yourself.
00:40:00 You did everything.
00:40:02 You taught your mother well.
00:40:04 You taught well in tuition.
00:40:06 Now when you have to do it yourself.
00:40:08 You don't believe yourself.
00:40:10 That I can do it.
00:40:12 Confidence is low.
00:40:14 Tell me.
00:40:16 Do you involve in any activities?
00:40:18 We do activities.
00:40:20 Sports, talent hunt.
00:40:22 We do all this.
00:40:24 He is going for shoots.
00:40:26 He is doing commercial.
00:40:28 So there.
00:40:30 There is confidence.
00:40:32 If the director says.
00:40:34 You have to run.
00:40:36 He will do his work.
00:40:38 He has explained it.
00:40:40 He is doing everything.
00:40:42 Properly involved in everything.
00:40:44 He is dealing with everything.
00:40:46 He is talking to everyone.
00:40:48 He is playing.
00:40:50 He is doing activities.
00:40:52 He is riding cycle.
00:40:54 This happens in every test.
00:40:56 Have you seen.
00:40:58 What is the relationship with time?
00:41:00 There is no time limit.
00:41:02 There is no time limit.
00:41:04 There is no time limit.
00:41:06 He is 5 years old.
00:41:08 He is 5 years old.
00:41:10 He has to complete the test.
00:41:12 He has to complete the test.
00:41:14 Who takes test from 5 year old?
00:41:16 Who takes test from 5 year old?
00:41:18 I think.
00:41:20 There is a difference.
00:41:22 In your teaching style.
00:41:24 And how school takes feedback.
00:41:26 For example.
00:41:28 If you are saying.
00:41:30 I have made him remember everything.
00:41:32 What did you make him remember?
00:41:34 Give an example of content.
00:41:36 There are words.
00:41:38 B words.
00:41:40 He is not able to make words.
00:41:42 He is not able to make words.
00:41:44 You are making him remember.
00:41:46 But if you are saying sounds.
00:41:48 He is not able to translate.
00:41:50 I asked teacher.
00:41:52 Do you teach by sound?
00:41:54 She said.
00:41:56 We teach normally.
00:41:58 We don't teach by sound.
00:42:00 She is not teaching by sound.
00:42:02 He is not able to write.
00:42:04 He is not able to write.
00:42:06 He can remember.
00:42:08 He can remember.
00:42:10 How is his handwriting?
00:42:12 He is doing good in school.
00:42:14 But when we are doing homework.
00:42:16 He is not able to write.
00:42:18 I am writing one word.
00:42:20 You do the rest.
00:42:22 How is his handwriting?
00:42:24 It is good in school.
00:42:26 Have you ever done his homework?
00:42:28 No.
00:42:30 Does it take a lot of time to write?
00:42:32 No.
00:42:34 It is normal.
00:42:36 I feel.
00:42:38 If there is any learning difficulty.
00:42:40 Or any other.
00:42:42 There are many disorders.
00:42:44 Like handwriting.
00:42:46 Dysgraphia.
00:42:48 What is dysgraphia?
00:42:50 It is when kids' handwriting is not legible.
00:42:52 It is not readable.
00:42:54 When they are writing.
00:42:56 They are not able to make words.
00:42:58 Mentally.
00:43:00 Verbally.
00:43:02 It is perfect.
00:43:04 When kids are not able to write.
00:43:06 Their brain.
00:43:08 Is not able to write.
00:43:10 So it is not legible.
00:43:12 They are not able to write.
00:43:14 At their age.
00:43:16 So there are chances.
00:43:18 That it is dysgraphia.
00:43:20 There are many strategies.
00:43:22 If he is not able to.
00:43:24 Blend the letters.
00:43:26 Like B, A, T.
00:43:28 It can be anything.
00:43:30 Even a kid.
00:43:32 Who is very young.
00:43:34 Can't diagnose.
00:43:36 The learning disability.
00:43:38 He is 5 years old.
00:43:40 Sometimes.
00:43:42 He is gifted.
00:43:44 Smart and intelligent.
00:43:46 He finds writing and studying.
00:43:48 Boring.
00:43:50 He feels his brain is faster.
00:43:52 Gifted kids.
00:43:54 Are not diagnosed in Pakistan.
00:43:56 Because there are gifted schools.
00:43:58 For those kids.
00:44:00 They are ahead of average kids.
00:44:02 Which is also a disorder.
00:44:04 Because they are.
00:44:06 More than normal kids.
00:44:08 Those kids.
00:44:10 Are not good at handwriting.
00:44:12 Because their hands.
00:44:14 Are not in coordination with their brain.
00:44:16 Brain is faster.
00:44:18 Ideas are more.
00:44:20 And they are not able to match the speed.
00:44:22 So their hands are behind.
00:44:24 Can you tell us the symptoms?
00:44:26 In this.
00:44:28 Ask verbally.
00:44:30 He is doing well.
00:44:32 He is good at writing.
00:44:34 He has more information.
00:44:36 And knowledge.
00:44:38 He is critical.
00:44:40 He is not saying.
00:44:42 This is blue.
00:44:44 Why is it blue?
00:44:46 He is very curious.
00:44:48 He is asking questions.
00:44:50 When you talk to him.
00:44:52 He is smart.
00:44:54 He is older than his age.
00:44:56 He talks.
00:44:58 What kids of this age don't talk.
00:45:00 But in writing.
00:45:02 What kind of kid is he?
00:45:04 So basically.
00:45:06 He is not able to give you.
00:45:08 On paper.
00:45:10 It's interesting.
00:45:12 Education word.
00:45:14 It comes from a Latin word.
00:45:16 It means bringing up.
00:45:18 It means bringing up.
00:45:20 Education doesn't mean.
00:45:22 That all kids are in a box.
00:45:24 All kids are in a box.
00:45:26 And everyone is taught.
00:45:28 It comes back to our system.
00:45:30 It's important.
00:45:32 To equip our teachers.
00:45:34 And educate.
00:45:36 How to identify.
00:45:38 Is there a problem?
00:45:40 Which kid will not do.
00:45:42 Because taking revenge.
00:45:44 Is not like that.
00:45:46 Because teachers make it.
00:45:48 About themselves.
00:45:50 They have their own problems.
00:45:52 And I understand.
00:45:54 That's normal.
00:45:56 It's human.
00:45:58 But understand.
00:46:00 Why a kid won't do.
00:46:02 If he is facing.
00:46:04 Any kid.
00:46:06 Won't put himself in trouble.
00:46:08 It means there is a problem.
00:46:10 There is a problem.
00:46:12 If there is a problem.
00:46:14 There is a solution.
00:46:16 In many good schools.
00:46:18 There are counselors.
00:46:20 Counselors.
00:46:22 Kids nowadays.
00:46:24 In our schools.
00:46:26 There were no counselors.
00:46:28 Yes, there was a doctor.
00:46:30 To apply sun block.
00:46:32 But nowadays.
00:46:34 In good schools.
00:46:36 If kids are lacking.
00:46:38 In these things.
00:46:40 Parents take permission.
00:46:42 To send kids to counselors.
00:46:44 Then counselors.
00:46:46 Talk to kids.
00:46:48 Analyze.
00:46:50 Because they have education.
00:46:52 A mother doesn't have.
00:46:54 They analyze.
00:46:56 And after research.
00:46:58 Parents are told.
00:47:00 That your kid is facing this problem.
00:47:02 After a short break.
00:47:04 Keep watching Good Morning Pakistan.
00:47:06 Welcome.
00:47:18 Welcome back.
00:47:20 Good morning Pakistan.
00:47:22 Today we are discussing.
00:47:24 Relatable things.
00:47:26 I have two mothers here.
00:47:28 Wajia.
00:47:30 Wajia.
00:47:32 Wajia is here.
00:47:34 I want to talk to you.
00:47:36 My son is 8 years old.
00:47:38 The reason is.
00:47:40 When he wants to study.
00:47:42 He doesn't get angry.
00:47:44 But when we tell him.
00:47:46 That it's time to study.
00:47:48 He gets angry.
00:47:50 For example.
00:47:52 He throws his blanket.
00:47:54 Opens the bathroom door.
00:47:56 And refuses to go to school.
00:47:58 After going to school.
00:48:00 If teacher scolds him.
00:48:02 He will keep his books aside.
00:48:04 He will misbehave with teacher.
00:48:06 He will sit under the desk.
00:48:08 And won't come out.
00:48:10 He won't do his work.
00:48:12 Even teachers lose.
00:48:14 Because they can't do their work.
00:48:16 We tell him.
00:48:18 You can do it.
00:48:20 But he thinks.
00:48:22 I can't do it.
00:48:24 I can't write these words.
00:48:26 My biggest problem is.
00:48:28 He is very aggressive.
00:48:30 He doesn't want to study.
00:48:32 He doesn't want to study.
00:48:34 We give him toys.
00:48:36 We show him TV.
00:48:38 But he gets so angry.
00:48:40 He doesn't want to study.
00:48:42 He doesn't want to work.
00:48:44 He was like this since childhood.
00:48:46 Yes.
00:48:48 But now.
00:48:50 He is growing up.
00:48:52 He is more aggressive.
00:48:54 I don't know how to handle him.
00:48:56 I tell him.
00:48:58 He has no future.
00:49:00 He doesn't understand.
00:49:02 He has to answer me.
00:49:04 There are many people.
00:49:06 Who do their business without studying.
00:49:08 My God.
00:49:10 He is just 8.
00:49:12 8 year old kid is saying.
00:49:14 There are many people.
00:49:16 We have short stories.
00:49:18 If you see short stories.
00:49:20 Kids watch it.
00:49:22 They show.
00:49:24 Without studying.
00:49:26 Rich kids.
00:49:28 I don't know why they are showing it.
00:49:30 He has made it in his mind.
00:49:32 If I don't study.
00:49:34 I can become a businessman.
00:49:36 He has closed the copies.
00:49:38 And studied like this.
00:49:40 I don't know how to handle him.
00:49:42 You said he is stubborn.
00:49:44 Are you saying to him.
00:49:46 You are stubborn.
00:49:48 We don't use this word in front of him.
00:49:50 Why don't you study.
00:49:52 You can become without studying.
00:49:54 I don't know how to make him understand.
00:49:56 We say you can do it.
00:49:58 He answers me positively.
00:50:00 He has done it.
00:50:02 You can draw.
00:50:04 Sometimes he draws.
00:50:06 But when it comes to studying.
00:50:08 I will write one line.
00:50:10 I won't write more than this.
00:50:12 This is very relatable.
00:50:14 Is he not studying.
00:50:16 Or he is angry.
00:50:18 He is angry.
00:50:20 If he is not angry.
00:50:22 He is angry.
00:50:24 He gets so angry.
00:50:26 Sometimes I say.
00:50:28 Instead of hitting him.
00:50:30 I go to the kitchen.
00:50:32 I cry.
00:50:34 If you want to deal with anger.
00:50:36 First of all.
00:50:38 Should I deal with anger.
00:50:40 Or his studies.
00:50:42 I asked him.
00:50:44 He said I should deal with anger.
00:50:46 You tell me.
00:50:48 He is 8 years old.
00:50:50 He was not angry.
00:50:52 This is observed.
00:50:54 He is 8 years old.
00:50:56 Who else is angry.
00:50:58 In the family.
00:51:00 In this way.
00:51:02 In the family.
00:51:04 We used to get hyper.
00:51:06 Husband.
00:51:08 But my two daughters.
00:51:10 They are not like that.
00:51:12 They are calm.
00:51:14 They understand everything.
00:51:16 But she is the only one.
00:51:18 Every child is different.
00:51:20 We can't say.
00:51:22 That he is not angry.
00:51:24 Anger is a secondary emotion.
00:51:26 Primary colors.
00:51:28 Red, yellow, green.
00:51:30 It turns into orange.
00:51:32 Anger is a secondary emotion.
00:51:34 There are many emotions behind anger.
00:51:36 It is necessary to tap them.
00:51:38 He is doing something else.
00:51:40 He is not able to express.
00:51:42 He expresses.
00:51:44 But it is the time when he has to study.
00:51:46 He is frustrated.
00:51:48 He is angry.
00:51:50 Solve his problems.
00:51:52 He is having a problem in studies.
00:51:54 Put extra effort.
00:51:56 Give home tuition.
00:51:58 Take extra time.
00:52:00 If there is a particular subject.
00:52:02 Focus on it.
00:52:04 Help him.
00:52:06 If he has a problem in other things.
00:52:08 Other things.
00:52:10 Other things.
00:52:12 He is late for food.
00:52:14 He is late for food.
00:52:16 He is not able to cook.
00:52:18 He is not able to wear the clothes.
00:52:20 He is not able to eat.
00:52:22 You will give him food.
00:52:24 He is having a problem in studies.
00:52:26 It turns into anger.
00:52:28 I feel.
00:52:30 Anger is an emotion.
00:52:32 We all feel.
00:52:34 Everyone gets angry.
00:52:36 Some people express.
00:52:38 They shout.
00:52:40 They hit.
00:52:42 Some people are passive.
00:52:44 They are hiding their anger.
00:52:46 They are shouting.
00:52:48 They are shouting.
00:52:50 Everyone gets angry.
00:52:52 First of all.
00:52:54 You have to teach him to cope.
00:52:56 Go to academics.
00:52:58 If he is angry.
00:53:00 How can you go to academics?
00:53:02 If your child is angry.
00:53:04 He should be seen.
00:53:06 When he is angry.
00:53:08 Say.
00:53:10 I see you are angry.
00:53:12 We never say this.
00:53:14 Address the anger.
00:53:16 Label the anger.
00:53:18 He knows it is anger.
00:53:20 He feels it is a behavior.
00:53:22 I can get my work done.
00:53:24 I can get my work done.
00:53:26 He is an 8 year old child.
00:53:28 He does not know.
00:53:30 It is a learned behavior.
00:53:32 He saw his father.
00:53:34 He saw a man.
00:53:36 He adapted.
00:53:38 When he is angry.
00:53:40 Speak softly.
00:53:42 I see you are angry.
00:53:44 Whatever he does.
00:53:46 You are angry.
00:53:48 Take a deep breath.
00:53:50 Blow 5 candles.
00:53:52 He will listen.
00:53:54 If he does.
00:53:56 Try to do this.
00:53:58 If he is not able to.
00:54:00 He is getting aggressive.
00:54:02 He is not listening.
00:54:04 Show me how angry you are.
00:54:06 He is not doing it.
00:54:08 Show me how angry you are.
00:54:10 Wow.
00:54:12 Good idea.
00:54:14 He will press your hand.
00:54:16 He will feel safe.
00:54:18 His strong anger.
00:54:20 He will release it on an object.
00:54:22 You being the mother.
00:54:24 You are his safe space.
00:54:26 You will see.
00:54:28 It will release.
00:54:30 Is this therapy.
00:54:32 For husband also?
00:54:34 No.
00:54:36 This is for everyone.
00:54:38 If someone is angry.
00:54:40 If you are shouting.
00:54:42 He is getting aggravated.
00:54:44 If you are speaking softly.
00:54:46 Take a deep breath.
00:54:48 He may not be angry.
00:54:50 He may ask.
00:54:52 Why is she behaving like that.
00:54:54 He will see.
00:54:56 Disassociate from that place.
00:54:58 He is also disassociating.
00:55:00 Feeling of frustration.
00:55:02 Mother is crying in kitchen.
00:55:04 But no one is addressing that problem.
00:55:06 He is crying in bathroom.
00:55:08 Or hiding under the table.
00:55:10 Disassociate both.
00:55:12 If you want to lead.
00:55:14 Go meet them.
00:55:16 Where they are standing.
00:55:18 You can't do this.
00:55:20 You should not get angry.
00:55:22 What is your age?
00:55:24 Go to that 8 year old.
00:55:26 Go to that level.
00:55:28 I can see you are angry.
00:55:30 What do you want from me?
00:55:32 We never address.
00:55:34 Children's needs.
00:55:36 What can I do for you?
00:55:38 That's why.
00:55:40 ADHD.
00:55:42 I am not saying.
00:55:44 These things are not there.
00:55:46 But when they are aggravated.
00:55:48 They become disorder.
00:55:50 If he is saying.
00:55:52 I don't want to study.
00:55:54 Mother doesn't understand.
00:55:56 I am listening.
00:55:58 He is not coming for solution.
00:56:00 Our problem is.
00:56:02 We give solution.
00:56:04 To child, husband or elder.
00:56:06 He doesn't need solution.
00:56:08 He will find solution.
00:56:10 If he is saying.
00:56:12 I can't study.
00:56:14 You can't study.
00:56:16 You tell me.
00:56:18 What do you want from me?
00:56:20 We don't ask questions.
00:56:22 We close it.
00:56:24 We don't process feelings.
00:56:26 We don't think.
00:56:28 Sit with them.
00:56:30 Study is one element.
00:56:32 If someone is saying.
00:56:34 I will cut your child's hand.
00:56:36 What will you do?
00:56:38 You will try to keep his hand safe.
00:56:40 When child is angry.
00:56:42 Cortisol is released from his body.
00:56:44 He is in anger.
00:56:46 He is in hormonal distress.
00:56:48 Body's mechanism is.
00:56:50 Cortisol is released from brain.
00:56:52 He has to stop.
00:56:54 Body can't tolerate.
00:56:56 Anger.
00:56:58 It will damage body.
00:57:00 You want.
00:57:02 To stop body damage.
00:57:04 First address the anger.
00:57:06 You are angry.
00:57:08 You are frustrated.
00:57:10 We keep study secondary.
00:57:12 First address the problem.
00:57:14 If he has heart attack.
00:57:16 Give CPR.
00:57:18 Then therapy.
00:57:20 First address the problem.
00:57:22 Once he copes.
00:57:24 You will be amazed.
00:57:26 He will come with solutions.
00:57:28 Give me food.
00:57:30 I will study.
00:57:32 You don't want to study.
00:57:34 Go to academy.
00:57:36 Online is free.
00:57:38 You study fractions.
00:57:40 You don't study by writing.
00:57:42 There are so many YouTube videos.
00:57:44 Everything related.
00:57:46 Children.
00:57:48 In our time.
00:57:50 When I sit with my son.
00:57:52 I watch YouTube videos.
00:57:54 He explains everything.
00:57:56 Cartoon.
00:57:58 He makes it interesting.
00:58:00 I feel.
00:58:02 It is easy for mothers.
00:58:04 I will tell you.
00:58:06 You talked about home tuition.
00:58:08 I have given him home tuition.
00:58:10 He doesn't make bounding.
00:58:12 He studies from you.
00:58:14 I have explained him.
00:58:16 Teachers are good.
00:58:18 I am telling you.
00:58:20 He has pencil here.
00:58:22 Pencil here.
00:58:24 Swell heart.
00:58:26 Then more.
00:58:28 He is disturbed.
00:58:30 It is getting more.
00:58:32 Swelling.
00:58:34 It is disturbed.
00:58:36 It is getting more.
00:58:38 It is getting more.
00:58:40 Home tuition.
00:58:42 Under supervision of mother.
00:58:44 We send.
00:58:46 6-7 children.
00:58:48 Teachers have gone to work.
00:58:50 Home tuition.
00:58:52 You can give surveillance.
00:58:54 Teacher.
00:58:56 You have assessed.
00:58:58 She is like this.
00:59:00 She is unhealthy.
00:59:02 I want to tell you.
00:59:04 She is a working mother.
00:59:06 Working mother.
00:59:08 She has to feed her children.
00:59:10 When there are such circumstances.
00:59:12 Then.
00:59:14 For a working mother.
00:59:16 Who has to become both father and mother.
00:59:18 It is difficult for her.
00:59:20 To tackle children.
00:59:22 Can the elder daughters.
00:59:24 Take help from them?
00:59:26 It depends on age.
00:59:28 It is the same thing.
00:59:30 Don't give the role of a parent to another child.
00:59:32 Don't give the role of a parent to another child.
00:59:34 For them.
00:59:36 Before they become a parent.
00:59:38 You have put your responsibility on their shoulders.
00:59:40 They are not reserving at that time.
00:59:42 Their childhood.
00:59:44 Their teenage.
00:59:46 Everything will be spoiled.
00:59:48 This is an unhealthy approach.
00:59:50 When we are going.
00:59:52 The elder daughter is 12 years old.
00:59:54 She will take care of the younger child.
00:59:56 This is a wrong approach.
00:59:58 If we are going out.
01:00:00 If we don't tell the daughter.
01:00:02 Then you tell the house.
01:00:04 How will it work?
01:00:06 She is a father.
01:00:08 She is a mother.
01:00:10 If someone can stay.
01:00:12 Your mother.
01:00:14 Or a family member.
01:00:16 You can hire someone.
01:00:18 If you don't have the resources.
01:00:20 You can do it.
01:00:22 In a way.
01:00:24 That her childhood.
01:00:26 Her age.
01:00:28 It doesn't affect.
01:00:30 But a little.
01:00:32 Until you are at work.
01:00:34 Children are school.
01:00:36 You come in the evening.
01:00:38 You study.
01:00:40 You see.
01:00:42 You call the tutor.
01:00:44 When you are available.
01:00:46 If you can see.
01:00:48 In western culture.
01:00:50 It is said.
01:00:52 If your child is 13-14 years old.
01:00:54 If she is not able to do the dishes.
01:00:56 Or where to keep the clothes.
01:00:58 If she is not able to do the laundry.
01:01:00 Then you have not done anything.
01:01:02 You have to give a little.
01:01:04 As a upbringing.
01:01:06 Even after marriage.
01:01:08 Mother puts the food.
01:01:10 I have seen children.
01:01:12 They are big.
01:01:14 Mother puts food.
01:01:16 And gives it to them.
01:01:18 This is the category.
01:01:20 I think.
01:01:22 It is important.
01:01:24 Work on your relationship.
01:01:26 Address the emotions.
01:01:28 Studies is secondary.
01:01:30 It will come.
01:01:32 If you work on it.
01:01:34 Everything else will come.
01:01:36 Sana you said.
01:01:38 I want you to repeat.
01:01:40 Is the audio gone?
01:01:42 Hello.
01:01:44 Okay.
01:01:46 Sana.
01:01:48 I was explaining.
01:01:50 You said.
01:01:52 You start crying in the kitchen.
01:01:54 You are not able to manage your emotions.
01:01:56 Because you are a single mother.
01:01:58 The best thing.
01:02:00 Fill your jug.
01:02:02 So that you can offer something to the children.
01:02:04 If there is no water in your jug.
01:02:06 You can not offer anything to the children.
01:02:08 If there is water in your jug.
01:02:10 You will give water to the children.
01:02:12 How to fill your jug?
01:02:14 Emotional regulation.
01:02:16 You will be angry.
01:02:18 Feeling.
01:02:20 Pain.
01:02:22 Go for therapy.
01:02:24 There are many places.
01:02:26 Fix your emotional regulation.
01:02:28 So that the children see.
01:02:30 You need counseling.
01:02:32 The work starts with yourself.
01:02:34 If I am not emotionally regulated.
01:02:36 Then I can not offer you anything.
01:02:38 Because I have painful experiences.
01:02:40 I have regulated them.
01:02:42 Then I can not offer you anything.
01:02:44 If I do not have that experience.
01:02:46 I can not offer you anything.
01:02:48 I can not give you a solution.
01:02:50 Just by reading books.
01:02:52 Because I am a mother.
01:02:54 I know and I have dealt with this.
01:02:56 Anger is real.
01:02:58 Everyone has this.
01:03:00 We are all human beings.
01:03:02 First of all.
01:03:04 Regulate your feelings.
01:03:06 So that you can offer something good to the children.
01:03:08 If the teacher is also pressing the finger.
01:03:10 With the pencil.
01:03:12 Do not make him angry.
01:03:14 Say wrong to wrong.
01:03:16 Teach the child.
01:03:18 How to protect yourself.
01:03:20 Do not say that he is alone.
01:03:22 He is not able to manage.
01:03:24 Because wrong is not addressed.
01:03:26 The child should have been taught.
01:03:28 Or the child should have been confronted.
01:03:30 What happened if you are young?
01:03:32 Learn to speak the truth.
01:03:34 Self protection and confidence comes from there.
01:03:36 When the child feels capable.
01:03:38 What happens to us.
01:03:40 Parents say that if the teacher is told.
01:03:42 Then it is rude.
01:03:44 But from there it is bringing.
01:03:46 If someone is doing wrong with you.
01:03:48 No one has the right.
01:03:50 To put his finger like this.
01:03:52 If he has not taught anything.
01:03:54 No one has given.
01:03:56 So instead of respecting the teacher.
01:03:58 We say no.
01:04:00 If you are a school teacher.
01:04:02 Go to the principal.
01:04:04 If you are a tutor.
01:04:06 You will tell them.
01:04:08 You have no right.
01:04:10 To physically hurt my child.
01:04:12 Even if he has brought zero number.
01:04:14 You have no right.
01:04:16 To touch my child.
01:04:18 You have to stand for it.
01:04:20 Whether it is rude or something.
01:04:22 If you point out the teacher.
01:04:24 Then the teacher.
01:04:26 Becomes more personal.
01:04:28 You are right.
01:04:30 If you do not point out.
01:04:32 Then the teacher will be insulted.
01:04:34 Even the parents will know.
01:04:36 That the teacher is like this.
01:04:38 If you are silent with this fear.
01:04:40 Then the children's mind.
01:04:42 Will spoil.
01:04:44 How much trauma.
01:04:46 Because of his attitude.
01:04:48 One parent has to stand.
01:04:50 We say no.
01:04:52 I am going to take a break.
01:04:54 I will come back.
01:04:56 Welcome.
01:05:06 Good morning Pakistan.
01:05:08 Some mothers are worried.
01:05:10 About their children's education.
01:05:12 Some mothers are worried.
01:05:14 About their children's behavior.
01:05:16 Some are worried about their health.
01:05:18 Some are worried about their children.
01:05:20 Some are worried about their food.
01:05:22 Sometimes we get lost in this worry.
01:05:24 These days.
01:05:26 Emotions are taught to children.
01:05:28 To express your emotions.
01:05:30 What is sad?
01:05:32 What is anger?
01:05:34 What is happiness?
01:05:36 I have learned emotions.
01:05:38 With my child.
01:05:40 When he was being taught in school.
01:05:42 Urooj is with me.
01:05:44 What does Urooj want to discuss?
01:05:46 I don't understand his behavior.
01:05:48 He is a toddler.
01:05:50 He is raising his hand.
01:05:52 He is a toddler.
01:05:54 I am with him.
01:05:56 I don't have anyone else.
01:05:58 Because of which he is behaving like this.
01:06:00 He will go anywhere.
01:06:02 He will raise his hand on anyone.
01:06:04 Does he love?
01:06:06 I don't know.
01:06:08 I am hurt.
01:06:10 He hits me.
01:06:12 He throws me.
01:06:14 We have taught him bowling.
01:06:16 Because of that he throws me.
01:06:18 Because he hits me a lot.
01:06:20 People say that the child is wild.
01:06:22 What are the parents teaching?
01:06:24 Don't teach manners to the child.
01:06:26 These things bother us so much.
01:06:28 That after coming home.
01:06:30 To be very honest.
01:06:32 I also become negative or aggressive.
01:06:34 Because I always feel.
01:06:36 What can I do?
01:06:38 How can I explain to this child?
01:06:40 This is not just their problem.
01:06:42 I have seen in gatherings.
01:06:44 That the child hits.
01:06:46 At that time the mother feels ashamed.
01:06:48 What can she do?
01:06:50 There are many things.
01:06:52 He also throws spit.
01:06:54 He doesn't just hit.
01:06:56 He also throws spit.
01:06:58 When he wants to ask you something.
01:07:00 How does he ask?
01:07:02 He raises his hand on anything.
01:07:04 Whatever his demand is.
01:07:06 Like water.
01:07:08 Whatever he wants to eat.
01:07:10 I feel like an attention seeker.
01:07:12 You have only one child.
01:07:14 Sometimes my attention.
01:07:16 Is diverting.
01:07:18 Because my husband has a long time duty.
01:07:20 And I also have late night duty.
01:07:22 Because of which.
01:07:24 I am not able to play with him.
01:07:26 What I used to do before.
01:07:28 But my duty timing is also like this.
01:07:30 That I have to perform that too.
01:07:32 I am approaching alone.
01:07:34 Whole day.
01:07:36 I get exhausted.
01:07:38 From 2 pm to 2 am.
01:07:40 If I am approaching alone.
01:07:42 I get exhausted.
01:07:44 I can't go out of the room.
01:07:46 My nature or my behavior.
01:07:48 Is also changing.
01:07:50 Due to my circumstances.
01:07:52 Because of that.
01:07:54 My son is facing a lot.
01:07:56 I don't know how to stop his hitting.
01:07:58 Let's explore the child.
01:08:00 You said that he holds your hand.
01:08:02 Does he say anything?
01:08:04 Any words?
01:08:06 He is a good listener.
01:08:08 If he needs anything.
01:08:10 Like his chips.
01:08:12 I don't get him food.
01:08:14 But if he needs.
01:08:16 He considers it.
01:08:18 What is the age?
01:08:20 2 years.
01:08:22 What does he do in routine?
01:08:24 He wakes up and eats.
01:08:26 Then he uses mobile.
01:08:28 But I am giving him mobile.
01:08:30 When I have to use kitchen.
01:08:32 Or I have to do my work.
01:08:34 Or I have to attend an important call.
01:08:36 Otherwise I don't attend calls.
01:08:38 Even I have removed mobile.
01:08:40 Time is less.
01:08:42 I want to conclude.
01:08:44 The one who hits.
01:08:46 With her child.
01:08:48 It happens with many children.
01:08:50 I have seen.
01:08:52 That children hit.
01:08:54 In other house.
01:08:56 Someone laughs.
01:08:58 There could be 2 ways.
01:09:00 Usually the children.
01:09:02 Who are aggressive.
01:09:04 Their communication is not.
01:09:06 For example.
01:09:08 This child is 2 years.
01:09:10 How he talks to people.
01:09:12 In words.
01:09:14 Interacts.
01:09:16 Plays.
01:09:18 With children of same age.
01:09:20 What kind of interaction.
01:09:22 If he is not able to interact.
01:09:24 He will pull the sleeve.
01:09:26 If he needs attention.
01:09:28 So speech.
01:09:30 Is actually pre-emptive.
01:09:32 Speech comes before all of this.
01:09:34 If speech or communication.
01:09:36 Is not developed.
01:09:38 It is important to develop it.
01:09:40 One barrier is screen time.
01:09:42 Screen time is elongated.
01:09:44 So child learns a lot by watching screen.
01:09:46 But does not learn speech.
01:09:48 It is vital to work on speech.
01:09:50 Second thing.
01:09:52 Nida is saying.
01:09:54 He is getting reinforcers.
01:09:56 If he hits someone.
01:09:58 He is doing a good job.
01:10:00 There could be 2 ways.
01:10:02 One is environmentally.
01:10:04 Second is.
01:10:06 Communication.
01:10:08 Not environmentally.
01:10:10 As I said.
01:10:12 I rarely go out.
01:10:14 But if a neighbor's child comes.
01:10:16 He does not share his toys.
01:10:18 If he is sharing toys.
01:10:20 He snatches it.
01:10:22 2 year old child.
01:10:24 Is not able to share.
01:10:26 He does not know.
01:10:28 I feel.
01:10:30 You are very anxious.
01:10:32 2 year old child.
01:10:34 What are your expectations.
01:10:36 I want.
01:10:38 He does not hit.
01:10:40 I want.
01:10:42 He feels ashamed.
01:10:44 Bad word.
01:10:46 In our society.
01:10:48 Elders.
01:10:50 Do not know.
01:10:52 What word to use.
01:10:54 2 year old child.
01:10:56 Does not know.
01:10:58 You are getting hurt.
01:11:00 I am also getting hurt.
01:11:02 I have short time.
01:11:04 I have to tell him.
01:11:06 He is better.
01:11:08 You have told him.
01:11:10 I feel.
01:11:12 Try to spend time with him.
01:11:14 20 to 15 minutes.
01:11:16 Talk to him.
01:11:18 Involve children in household chores.
01:11:20 Like keeping vegetables in a basket.
01:11:22 Instead of toys.
01:11:24 Give him clothes.
01:11:26 To dust.
01:11:28 Something bad.
01:11:30 Do not put him in a job.
01:11:32 But he feels.
01:11:34 He is part of you.
01:11:36 Part of this home.
01:11:38 He feels lonely.
01:11:40 Communicate with him.
01:11:42 Talk to him.
01:11:44 If he is hitting.
01:11:46 Reinforce him.
01:11:48 In your body language.
01:11:50 He is getting attention.
01:11:52 Negative.
01:11:54 You are getting angry.
01:11:56 You are not allowing him.
01:11:58 Talk to him.
01:12:00 If you feel.
01:12:02 Do not hit him.
01:12:04 In olden days.
01:12:06 We used to take match.
01:12:08 We have seen this.
01:12:10 He used to get scared.
01:12:12 2 times.
01:12:14 He got scared.
01:12:16 We used to tell him.
01:12:18 If you hit someone.
01:12:20 Light a match.
01:12:22 I am telling you.
01:12:24 In olden days.
01:12:26 I will put this on your hand.
01:12:28 He used to get scared.
01:12:30 He used to get scared.
01:12:32 If you hit me.
01:12:34 I will do this.
01:12:36 Parents do not understand.
01:12:38 This is a real thing.
01:12:40 They will get worried.
01:12:42 They have to face.
01:12:44 Their family and friends.
01:12:46 If a 6 month old.
01:12:48 Hits.
01:12:50 They feel ashamed.
01:12:52 I will conclude this.
01:12:54 You are understanding.
01:12:56 There is embarrassment.
01:12:58 But please.
01:13:00 Mental health of a child.
01:13:02 Is more important.
01:13:04 You have to feel ashamed.
01:13:06 You will feel frustrated.
01:13:08 You will hit a child.
01:13:10 He hit again.
01:13:12 You may not hit him.
01:13:14 But I get hit.
01:13:16 You do not hit.
01:13:18 But you get angry.
01:13:20 I show tantrums.
01:13:22 Totler is observing.
01:13:24 He will not see.
01:13:26 Do not hit.
01:13:28 He does not understand.
01:13:30 He will do when he sees.
01:13:32 Focus on your child's mental health.
01:13:34 Keep your dealing smooth.
01:13:36 Relax yourself.
01:13:38 Child gets vibes.
01:13:40 Mother's radiation.
01:13:42 How to get rid of this habit?
01:13:44 He is stuck.
01:13:46 Stop coming and going.
01:13:48 Divert.
01:13:50 Child is very small.
01:13:52 Divert him.
01:13:54 If he is left.
01:13:56 To dump toys.
01:13:58 Over stimulation.
01:14:00 How to play?
01:14:02 It is not possible.
01:14:04 We need to change parenting style.
01:14:06 If a child is hitting.
01:14:08 He may break.
01:14:10 He is over stimulated.
01:14:12 We need to reduce toys.
01:14:14 4 to 5 toys are enough.
01:14:16 For a 2 year old child.
01:14:18 More things.
01:14:20 More irritation.
01:14:22 Kids play with toys.
01:14:24 That is also anxiety.
01:14:26 More toys.
01:14:28 Nature.
01:14:30 What does he see?
01:14:32 What is he seeing?
01:14:34 I put stories.
01:14:36 Good for children.
01:14:38 Story.
01:14:40 I like this.
01:14:42 I feel.
01:14:44 He is more involved in household chores.
01:14:46 Like making roti.
01:14:48 Yes.
01:14:50 He has sensitive periods.
01:14:52 He wants to do.
01:14:54 What you are doing.
01:14:56 He wants to be a member of the house.
01:14:58 Exclude him in toys.
01:15:00 He is behaving differently.
01:15:02 He is not behaving like you.
01:15:04 When you normalize him.
01:15:06 Make him do dusting.
01:15:08 Wash the utensils.
01:15:10 He needs to be.
01:15:12 In nature.
01:15:14 You are removing him from nature.
01:15:16 You are patient.
01:15:18 I am moving to next problem.
01:15:20 Sana what you want to say.
01:15:22 I want to discover more things.
01:15:24 My main issue.
01:15:26 Is about my daughter.
01:15:28 She is 8 years old.
01:15:30 She is fatty.
01:15:32 She is chubby.
01:15:34 She is bullied.
01:15:36 Body shaming.
01:15:38 Classmates.
01:15:40 They are very.
01:15:42 They are very annoying.
01:15:44 They feel you are fat.
01:15:46 You are healthy.
01:15:48 They are bullied.
01:15:50 They are very annoyed.
01:15:52 They are very annoyed.
01:15:54 Even in class.
01:15:56 Their attention is slow.
01:15:58 It is difficult to answer questions.
01:16:00 It is difficult to answer questions.
01:16:02 They feel if I say something.
01:16:04 They will laugh at me.
01:16:06 My friends will say something.
01:16:08 I have a lot of problems.
01:16:10 I keep on cooling them down.
01:16:12 They complain when they come home.
01:16:14 Mom today.
01:16:16 My friends said this.
01:16:18 I keep on cooling them down.
01:16:20 I keep on cooling them down.
01:16:22 It is ok.
01:16:24 You look good.
01:16:26 My daughter is fatty and healthy.
01:16:28 But still.
01:16:30 In class.
01:16:32 Bullying.
01:16:34 It is not good.
01:16:36 They are taking it on themselves.
01:16:38 They are taking it on themselves.
01:16:40 Bullying is very common.
01:16:42 Bullying is very common.
01:16:44 It used to be there earlier.
01:16:46 It was never addressed.
01:16:48 She is talking about fatness.
01:16:50 She is talking about fatness.
01:16:52 She is talking about fatness.
01:16:54 She is wearing glasses.
01:16:56 She is wearing glasses.
01:16:58 I think if a child has a strong personality.
01:17:00 I think if a child has a strong personality.
01:17:02 Even if he is fat.
01:17:04 He doesn't feel anything.
01:17:06 But if the child is sensitive.
01:17:08 He is not fat.
01:17:10 He is wearing glasses.
01:17:12 He feels sensitive.
01:17:14 He has no weakness.
01:17:16 He is weak.
01:17:18 How do we make our children strong?
01:17:20 We don't say anything to parents.
01:17:22 We don't say anything to parents.
01:17:24 We don't say anything to parents.
01:17:26 We want to create self-confidence in the child.
01:17:28 We want to create self-confidence in the child.
01:17:30 We want to make him love himself.
01:17:32 We want to make him love himself.
01:17:34 We want to make him love himself.
01:17:36 We want to make him love himself.
01:17:38 We want to make him love himself.
01:17:40 We want to make him love himself.
01:17:42 We want to make him love himself.
01:17:44 We want to make him love himself.
01:17:46 We want to make him love himself.
01:17:48 We want to make him love himself.
01:17:50 We want to make him love himself.
01:17:52 We want to make him love himself.
01:17:54 We want to make him love himself.
01:17:56 We want to make him love himself.
01:17:58 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:00 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:02 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:04 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:06 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:08 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:10 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:12 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:14 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:16 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:18 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:20 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:22 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:24 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:26 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:28 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:30 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:32 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:34 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:36 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:38 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:40 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:42 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:44 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:46 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:48 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:50 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:52 We want to make him love himself.
01:18:54 Sometimes there is a conflict.
01:18:56 If you are being praised at home
01:18:58 and you are being praised outside
01:19:00 then the child gets conflicted.
01:19:02 Sometimes, in some cases,
01:19:04 I am being praised so much outside
01:19:06 and I am being asked what is happening.
01:19:08 I am being praised so much outside
01:19:10 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:12 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:14 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:16 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:18 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:20 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:22 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:24 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:26 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:28 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:30 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:32 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:34 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:36 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:38 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:40 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:42 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:44 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:46 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:48 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:50 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:52 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:54 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:56 and I am being praised so much outside
01:19:58 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:00 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:02 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:04 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:06 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:08 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:10 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:12 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:14 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:16 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:18 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:20 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:22 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:24 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:26 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:28 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:30 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:32 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:34 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:36 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:38 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:40 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:42 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:44 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:46 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:48 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:50 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:52 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:54 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:56 and I am being praised so much outside
01:20:58 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:00 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:02 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:04 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:06 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:08 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:10 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:12 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:14 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:16 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:18 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:20 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:22 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:24 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:26 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:28 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:30 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:32 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:34 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:36 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:38 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:40 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:42 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:44 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:46 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:48 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:50 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:52 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:54 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:56 and I am being praised so much outside
01:21:58 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:00 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:02 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:04 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:06 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:08 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:10 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:12 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:14 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:16 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:18 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:20 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:22 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:24 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:26 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:28 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:30 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:32 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:34 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:36 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:38 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:40 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:42 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:44 and I am being praised so much outside
01:22:46 and I am being praised so much outside
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