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00:00 [The Attack of the Titans]
00:04 So, today we decided to talk once again about The Attack of the Titans.
00:07 You know, this anime that everyone has seen, including this kind of son of a bitch.
00:10 So I hate anime, because, first of all, it's for kids.
00:14 And exaggerated facial animations, it's big bullshit, it's not realistic.
00:17 But SNK is fine, it's well done, the colossal titan is the family.
00:20 So yes, I know we've already talked about it, but since it's still really nice,
00:24 we thought it was worth devoting an entire episode to it.
00:26 Wow! You're talking twice about The Attack of the Titans, but zero about Seven Deadly Sins!
00:31 Yeah, man, what's the problem, kid? We're fighting, you want to fight?
00:33 Yeah, there's a problem, that's it, you've pissed me off.
00:36 From now on, I'm taking control of the channel and we're going to talk about Seven Deadly Sins!
00:41 You're not going to do anything, you thought you were cool, you're nobody, kid!
00:44 Well, now that Timothée is KO for a few minutes, we can talk quietly.
00:48 The Attack of the Titans is an anime that takes place in a dystopian universe.
00:51 That is to say, a world where humanity is threatened to disappear.
00:53 But threatened by what, you ask?
00:55 Well, by an army of Titans determined to devour all humans.
00:58 And then to digest us quietly on a beach in the Maldives,
01:01 with a piña colada in their hands and their asses in a hammock, swinging in the wind.
01:04 Except that humanity has 3,000 IQ and a hell of a pair of balls.
01:08 Unlike the Titans, who, in addition to being naked,
01:10 spend their time walking around naked from dawn to dusk.
01:13 So to protect themselves, humans built walls.
01:15 But walls so big that only a colossal Titan could climb, lol.
01:19 Except that walls are nice, but they don't kill the Titans.
01:22 And when humans realized that letting the Titans die of boredom
01:25 was not a real solution, but just procrastination,
01:28 they decided to create not one, not two, but three army corps,
01:32 of which only one will be really useful to make history.
01:34 But we're going to start by talking about the two men.
01:36 Out of respect for all these devoted men who fell in combat,
01:39 Sasageyo.
01:40 So the first, named the garrison, is in charge of protecting the inside of the walls.
01:43 But they can't fight, since there's never a Titan inside the walls.
01:45 Which will change very quickly, like, oh, episode 1, season 1.
01:48 So basically, except for getting drunk all day, they're useless, Sasageyo.
01:52 Second group of soldiers useless, the special brigade.
01:55 Well, they're a bit like the garrison, except they only drink quality alcohol,
01:59 like Japanese whiskey, at 500 bucks,
02:01 and don't protect the simple moldy, but only the noble and the rich, Sasageyo.
02:04 And finally, the best for the end, of the really useful people, I named them.
02:08 The exploration battalion! Yeah, three-dimensional maneuver!
02:11 Hopla, second round! I can do that all day, my boy!
02:14 So, indeed, it's the exploration battalion,
02:16 who, thanks to their sophisticated gadgets,
02:18 will have the heavy task of reconquering the world outside the walls.
02:21 Well, usually, it doesn't work, causing the death of dozens of soldiers.
02:24 But they deserve to try,
02:25 unlike people who give up their dream of becoming 100m high champions,
02:28 under the pretext that they don't have legs.
02:29 Everything is an excuse! You have no will!
02:31 That's what I think, that's all, it's the strict truth!
02:33 Take the exploration battalion as an example, Sasageyo, you bunch of jokers!
02:37 By the way, it's in this battalion that the main characters will evolve.
02:40 Armin, aka the weeping Nischar, he loves to cry in critical moments,
02:43 question his life every time he grows his reflection,
02:45 and he was Eren's best friend, until he broke his face for free.
02:49 Mikasa, aka the FIAC's bitch, she likes to protect Eren,
02:52 never leaves the scarf that Eren gave her,
02:54 and she's in love with Eren, until he humiliates her for free in public.
02:57 Eren, aka the guy who will disappoint you, he likes to wear his coat with style,
03:01 never misses an opportunity to humiliate his friends,
03:03 and has the possibility to transform into a huge and dry titan, damn!
03:07 Because yes, some humans are able to transform into primordial titans.
03:11 Basically, they're titans with a clear conscience, with a little special abilities.
03:15 Like the leather-titan, as strong as the prejudices of the national front.
03:18 The beast-titan, triple baseball champion on Wii Sports.
03:21 Or the colossal titan, who, as his name suggests, has a huge figure,
03:24 which allows him to destroy one of the walls mentioned earlier.
03:27 Starting at the same time the story of the anime.
03:29 So thank you to the colossal titan for turning humanity from a climate of peace
03:33 to a climate of anxiety, destruction, war and famine,
03:36 to offer us this sumptuous entertainment.
03:38 Hey, are you serious? You didn't even talk about the Reval's corporal!
03:42 Oh yeah, that's right. Well, wait, let's fix that.
03:44 Blah blah blah, Levi, fight scene.
03:45 Blah blah blah, Jif, where he opens the window.
03:47 Blah blah blah, explosion.
03:48 That was the summary of the Attack of the Titans.
03:50 I hope you enjoyed it.
03:51 I invite you to put a sword in the neck at the bar of likes
03:53 and go check our Tipeee to get sumptuous rewards.
03:57 On this good day, Sasa Gyo everyone!
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