Stefan Molyneux
Stefan Molyneux
  • 5 months ago
Sunday Morning Live 5 May 2024

Today, we explored a range of topics, from discussing the unique attributes of different states to delving into Naomi Wolf's experience with deplatforming. We also examined social dynamics, the complexities of friendships, and the impact of conformity on relationships. Emphasizing personal responsibility and growth, we shared anecdotes and insights on challenging oneself and avoiding excuses. Overall, we encouraged listeners to embrace challenges, self-improvement, and perseverance for reaching their full potential.

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Transcript
00:00:00 Good morning everybody, it is Sunday morning and we are chatting away with a variety of people on
00:00:07 a variety of platforms. We're going to do a shorter show today and then we're going to skip
00:00:10 to a voice call for the donors to talk about more about lack of feedback stuff that we talked about
00:00:16 on Friday. Taylor has asked me what is my favorite state? What is my favorite state?
00:00:25 Oh gosh, that's a tough one. That's a tough one. I mean the northeastern states are fantastic
00:00:32 for you know woods and hiking and you know old school British style like literally New England
00:00:38 old school British style landscapes. The midwestern states have some of the best people.
00:00:44 California, see I was around in California like 30 plus years ago when I was doing a lot of
00:00:51 business out there and it was paradise. It was absolute absolutely glorious absolutely glorious
00:00:58 almost nothing better. I did a lot of work in Texas because environmental and oil stuff and
00:01:03 all of that and I thought the Texas people were great. I have I mean I suppose it's a little bit
00:01:09 unusual among quote intellectuals right but I have a real I take real pleasure in spending time
00:01:20 with people who work with physical things.
00:01:22 This I mean it's funny I was reading Naomi Wolf wrote a book recently on her experiences being
00:01:32 deplatformed for pointing out some of the risks with female menstruation and the vaccines and
00:01:39 it's wild you know she's very intelligent she's very charming she's a great writer
00:01:45 and blind as a bat you know I mean it's funny you know because I love her in a way because I mean
00:01:50 she has done some really brave things and I really appreciate that but absolutely blind as a bat
00:01:55 because she talks about like she's been in the public eye for close to 40 years right she started
00:02:00 writing in her her 20s or getting published and she says you know like I used to go to all these
00:02:06 gallery openings and and and big expensive dinner parties and and she uses a great conceit. Conceit
00:02:15 is not a negative word it's just a sort of literary device which is if you want to talk about
00:02:18 history you don't just say well this happened and this happened and this happened you have to have
00:02:22 a literary device to make it more understandable and more sequential and so she's like well I was
00:02:29 moving and I unpacked this and I unpacked that and this brought me back memories of this and then she
00:02:33 says I unpacked this this tablecloth I got from India that I used to put on my tables and I'd
00:02:39 have cheap wine and cut up bread and turkey stew she says the only thing I know how to make and not
00:02:44 not fail that and people would come over and all of these glittering conversations we thought of
00:02:48 ourselves as the west wing change the world blah blah blah blah and she's absolutely completely
00:02:53 shocked when she says like I did what I've been doing for like 35 years which is writing
00:03:01 telling truth to power and writing about women's health issues and when I got word that there were
00:03:08 these irregular menstrual periods women who'd gone through menopause getting bleeding some women
00:03:13 having two periods a month like I wrote about that because that's an important thing and she
00:03:18 was like immediately deplatformed nobody would talk to her all of her former friends vaporized
00:03:22 and disappeared and despawned and vanished they went straight to the back rooms and she was just
00:03:27 unpersoned by everyone in her social circle and she was like it's so shocking to me because you
00:03:32 know we we considered ourselves open-minded and this is all right up her alley women's issues uh
00:03:37 corporate corruption truth to power blah blah blah and you know from the outside it's it's a um
00:03:46 I can't read that when I'm going to bed it's from the outside it's like oh Naomi love you to death
00:03:52 honey sweetie darling but uh you you are concerned about exclusion and deplatforming
00:04:02 you know quick question uh did you ever have any conservatives at these glitterati events
00:04:07 would you ever have invited invited I don't know Charles Murray or or someone like that to to talk
00:04:12 about the things that he talks about did you ever and the answer of course is no that they were
00:04:18 rabidly exclusionary and bigoted against half the population and so she seems kind of shocked
00:04:26 that this incredibly exclusionary and bigoted group turned out to be exclusionary and bigoted
00:04:33 because that's what happens right they create a negative label which is a sort of sky laser they
00:04:40 can put on everyone's forehead negative label you know extreme right wing uh anti-vaxxer or you know
00:04:45 whatever it is right racist so they create these negative labels and they charge them up you know
00:04:50 you know charge up the defibrillators right they charge them up and then they just right
00:04:56 right so they charge up these negative labels and this is weaponization of language
00:05:02 and it's actually more civilized in some ways than duels and so on right
00:05:05 although duels did tend to keep society just a smidge more polite
00:05:08 and so they you know they charged up these negative language and then when she stepped
00:05:14 out of line it was applied to her and she was unpersoned from everyone because that's what
00:05:18 they've done to everyone before so when she's inside the circle of liberalism she doesn't see
00:05:26 all of the people who are excluded based on negative labels and then when she does something
00:05:31 that gets a negative label applied to her she is then excluded just as she and her group i assume
00:05:36 excluded conservatives and and people like charles murray other kinds of social scientists people
00:05:42 with quote unacceptable opinions or anything that goes against the victim victimizer narrative
00:05:47 tries to explain human disparities in different ways uh they're all unpersoned right so
00:05:53 yeah it's it's wild to see what a bubble people live in and this is like the vaults right the
00:06:00 vaults in in the fallout right they just live in this bubble and they're vaguely aware of the
00:06:05 outside world but they don't understand it so everyone who has the public they all wielded
00:06:17 horrible labels against others like no question this this is an entire group that would have
00:06:22 attacked and dismissed any kind of populism any kind of nationalism uh any kind of smaller
00:06:28 government stuff uh and so on right they would have used the negative labels to attack and exclude
00:06:34 anybody who tried to went their way in right i mean in my heyday could you could you imagine
00:06:38 me being invited to a naomi wolf uh soiree right well it's impossible right because the negative
00:06:46 labels have been applied to me and and so on right so they all wield these negative labels
00:06:53 extreme right-wing reactionary right and then when the weapons that people have created to
00:07:03 exclude others are then used to exclude them there's this deep shock and that deep shock speaks
00:07:11 to a lack of empathy right when you think of all the people who aren't invited to the party and are
00:07:19 actively kept out of the party then when you're cast out of the party it's deeply shocking because
00:07:31 you haven't empathized with everyone who's kept out of the party because you just applied negative
00:07:36 labels to the conservatives the republicans the uh minarchists the uh whatever right and so you've
00:07:42 ferociously excluded and other people and part of your this isn't about naomi wolf in particular
00:07:48 it's just this general mindset part of your attack on the world is to create this entirely
00:07:57 enviable social circle the people are like oh you're going to gallery openings you're giving
00:08:03 little speeches here and there you have wonderful dinner parties and it's just this this advertisement
00:08:09 of the cool kids right like we're all the cool kids uh you know i'm sitting next to this finance
00:08:15 guy and i'm sitting next to this artist guy and across me is a famous novelist and his sparkling
00:08:20 conversations and everybody's laughing and the food is wonderful and the music is sublime and
00:08:25 you know and then so-and-so gives a little impromptu concert like he's at a coffee shop
00:08:29 even though he's a famous musician like it's just like oh it's an advertisement of
00:08:36 everything that everyone wants to consume and this is even particularly more true now in the
00:08:45 age of selfies right because in the past these things you just kind of heard about them now
00:08:49 you know social media and so on so they're creating this quote wonderful world and then
00:08:53 they're excluding people as punishment for non-orthodoxy to leftist beliefs as a whole
00:08:58 and part of talking about how wonderful the life is is to make sure that everyone knows
00:09:06 who's excluded just how wonderful it all is to be at these openings and galleries and parties
00:09:13 and blah blah blah you're going to see these plays and with people you know and someone you
00:09:17 know wrote the play and right at the after party and all of that and you know it sounds fairly
00:09:23 pleasant like honestly i'm not a big big socializing kind of guy i do like to socialize but you know i
00:09:30 would find it i would think of all the philosophy that wasn't getting done when i would be going to
00:09:35 all these parties but you know it's fun and certainly if you're younger right this sort of
00:09:39 sex in the city lifestyle seems like here's a gallery opening and here's an all-night art
00:09:42 exhibit you can go to with Mikhail Baryshnikov and things like that right so it is very
00:09:50 interesting to see the shock that she has when she's cast out of the heaven that is created
00:09:59 as an exclusion punishment to those who don't conform right we create this wonderful social
00:10:04 circle if you put one foot wrong you're out and she's applied that she's applied that
00:10:10 to others again i don't know her personally but people in that world apply this exclusionary
00:10:16 filter when she says well we we felt like the west wing right well that's very clear the west
00:10:23 wing were leftists well it was the fantasy of leftists not the reality and
00:10:29 you
00:10:30 when she is excluded because she stepped on the landmine metaphorically she stepped on the land
00:10:42 mine of a negative label in this case anti-vaxxer or producing creating vaccine hesitancy right
00:10:48 because anti-vaxxer in general was associated with being conservative right
00:10:51 republican christian and so fundamentalist right
00:10:56 so when she adopted the negative labels that her entire group had used to exclude others and then
00:11:07 that was used to exclude her she was shocked and what she was shocked at is the lack of
00:11:13 bond right because it is kind of shocking honestly for for a lot of people when you've had these
00:11:20 decades-long relationships uh business and personal and and friendship and so on and she said like
00:11:28 she'd written for just about every famous newspaper known to man so famous newspapers
00:11:33 that were always eager to get one of her articles stopped publishing her like that right she was
00:11:39 just unperson people wouldn't return her calls uh she she couldn't get anything published she was
00:11:44 de-platformed and and everybody just completely vanished from her and it's like ah it's kind of
00:11:52 weird for people because you think you're on a common mission and you care about each other
00:11:57 you care about the world right and then when you do something that's unpopular and you get hit with
00:12:07 these negative labels and then everybody pretends like you never existed that is kind of strange
00:12:14 right and again i'm not talking about naomi i don't know naomi wolf's mind other than what
00:12:25 she's written and and so on right so i don't know her history i know some of the controversies
00:12:29 around her books uh the beauty myth uh where she said what 150 000 american girls a year are dying
00:12:35 from anorexia when it's like way way way lower so i i can't read her mind so let's just talk about uh
00:12:43 sally right just just sally just some made-up woman who would be part of this circle and i can
00:12:49 because she's a character of mine i can talk about her whereas i i don't know of course naomi wolf's
00:12:53 history or inner thoughts or what she's done so sally is part of this group that all claims to
00:13:00 care about the world and care about the poor and care about the underprivileged and care about
00:13:06 equality and they just they care and they care and they care and they talk to each other about
00:13:10 how much they care and they're agonized by the suffering of the world and then they and so
00:13:14 you believe that you're part of people who just really care about others and and they just want
00:13:19 to make the world a better place and and they just they care about women and they care about
00:13:24 minorities and they care about the underprivileged and and so on right they care they care they care
00:13:30 but then a very strange thing happens if you put one foot wrong and then you're suddenly vaporized
00:13:35 then sally would look at her social group and would say holy crap
00:13:38 how can they care about the abstract poor
00:13:43 when they don't even care about our friendship of 30 years
00:13:52 do you see what i'm saying how can these people care about the poor
00:13:59 undertrod people in burundi other side of the world how can they care about all of those people
00:14:06 when they don't even have a bond with a friend of theirs for 30 years
00:14:10 when i mean the one of the main purposes of friendship is a buffer against error
00:14:20 right one of the main purposes of friendship is a buffer against error because we all make mistakes
00:14:26 we all say things that turn out to be false or wrong we all have our prejudice so friends give
00:14:32 each other some leeway right isn't that sort of the point i mean if you've been in a long-term
00:14:39 relationship right you've had the occasional bad day right and so you think of the worst day
00:14:46 of a long-term relationship and if you say okay well that was if that was our first date we wouldn't
00:14:50 go forward right like if the first let's say you'd be married for 30 years think of your worst day
00:14:57 with each other if that was the first date you wouldn't go forward with the relationship right
00:15:03 but because you're married and you're invested in each other you have room for bad days and you
00:15:10 continue right this all makes sense right so one of the purposes of friendship is as a buffer against
00:15:17 error and it goes on both ways right or or not a buffer against error because you don't even know
00:15:22 if there's an error right but it's it's a buffer against what you perceive of as bad behavior what
00:15:26 you perceive of as mistakes or or whatever right so sally's been friends with these people for like
00:15:33 30 years and she does exactly she didn't change right she does exactly what she did before and
00:15:42 this is you know reference to naomi uh wolf she she's right she did exactly what she's been doing
00:15:47 which is to write about health issues and skeptical of corporations and so on right and
00:15:51 women's health issues in particular there's some really stuff to be admired about with that so
00:15:55 sally's doing the same thing but her friends perceive her to have done something wrong or bad
00:16:01 well the whole point of friendship is you build up accumulated goodwill to the point where if
00:16:06 you do something your friend doesn't like your friend comes and talks to you about it right
00:16:11 i mean if you're online and someone is just really cranky and bad-tempered towards you
00:16:18 and you don't even know that person you just block him or move on or whatever right
00:16:22 but if it's your brother or your best friend who's cranky and bad-tempered towards you you sit down
00:16:27 and you have a conversation because you've got a lot invested in the relationship there's a bond
00:16:32 right there's a bond so you deposit with all the good times and the support and then occasionally
00:16:40 there's a withdrawal which is the bad day the bad statement the bad idea the bad argument the bad
00:16:45 faith whatever it is right somebody's hangry right but it's okay because you've deposited
00:16:51 you've deposited a million dollars of great stuff in the relationship so when a thousand dollar
00:16:56 withdrawal comes out that's there's nothing it's 0.1 percent right
00:17:00 and so when you think you've deposited into all of these relationships and let's say that
00:17:10 sally does something that is is considered bad by her group well there's 30 years 30 year
00:17:17 friendship you've broken bread with each other you've you know got pregnant raised kids you know
00:17:22 in each other's environment of proximity you've been on this common mission to improve the world
00:17:26 and i don't know if you guys have experienced this it's a pretty wild thing
00:17:31 when you step out of line and you're gone right you're gone and then all of the people who claim
00:17:41 to care so much don't even care about a 30-year friendship and it's almost impossible for someone
00:17:53 like sally to process that that the whole thing was an advertisement for conformity right if you
00:18:00 conform you get to come to the dinner party if you don't conform you don't exist like that right
00:18:08 that's a wild thing look at all this glittering cool stuff we can do all you have to do is toe
00:18:14 the line and you're in but the moment you step out of line out of darkness deep platform depersoned
00:18:21 unperson's despawned you glitch out like skate three right so that you participated in
00:18:32 in a sense sally is participating in the humiliation ritual called obey and get paid
00:18:38 obey and get invited obey and you have a social circle obey and you get to go to fun gallery
00:18:43 openings and play openings and you get cool dinner parties with funny famous witty people and boom
00:18:49 boom boom right so when sally gets cast out effortlessly she has to look back and say
00:19:03 well how could they care about abstractions and abstract people if they don't even care
00:19:09 about a personal friend for 30 years right Naomi Wolf was talking about like one of her oldest and
00:19:17 best friends like left the entire country without even saying goodbye to Naomi Wolf I mean I can't
00:19:25 even tell you I mean do you have there's a question to you guys like do you have relationship
00:19:32 where you're absolutely certain no matter what happens you're there for each other there are
00:19:40 hiccups there are problems sometimes but you're absolutely certain you're there for each other
00:19:45 you know the ride or die cliche that you're just down with each other and no matter what
00:19:51 you're going to make it through life together right do you have those things
00:19:56 while I'm just waiting for those comments I wanted to get your comments and thank you thank
00:20:01 you for the tip you can of course tip here on the app you can tip at freedom.com/donate
00:20:06 appreciate that all right let me get to your questions and comments
00:20:14 somebody says couldn't join the last stream and wanted to add my thoughts regarding feedback
00:20:21 parents barely tutored me in my childhood and I had a lot of social issues and yet still got
00:20:26 good grades they always used to over compliment me for this probably to minimize the issues I
00:20:30 experienced this could be related as to why it's hard for me to give feedback
00:20:33 I appreciate that what's your opinion on right-wing female influencers attacking men who want
00:20:41 traditional women and questioning women's right to vote this includes Lauren Southern now as well
00:20:46 honestly I'm pretty far from that world as you can imagine I didn't used to be
00:20:52 I suppose but I'm pretty far from that world I've not been I have not been following this
00:20:56 questions your thoughts paganism versus paganism versus Christianity what reply would you have for
00:21:04 individuals who believe God needs to be taken out of everything I don't you have to specify the
00:21:12 question a little bit more because people who believe God needs to be taken out of everything
00:21:16 include physicists and biologists as well as pagans so I you'd have to be a bit more
00:21:20 did leave a comment or two on peaceful parenting book not enough in my opinion we'll be more
00:21:25 mindful of this from now on thank you Naomi's old friends would rather have a bear at a party than
00:21:32 yeah yeah what's it's Lauren Chen who said that's clever and right she said I believe that women
00:21:39 think men are more dangerous than bears when women stop bringing random men home to sleep with them
00:21:46 Steph did you ever have anxiety before changing jobs I'm looking to leave a bad job but I'm
00:21:52 feeling anxiety about it well um anxiety is one of these words that is usually usually worth
00:21:59 reframing if this makes sense it's usually worth reframing anxiety how do you know it's not
00:22:05 excitement I mean anxiety is just a negative thing anxiety sounds like oh well I've just got
00:22:12 to get rid of this negative thing I've just got to get rid of this anxiety this is unproductive
00:22:16 this is pointless I'm just going to talk to myself in circles and so on so anxiety is
00:22:21 you want to do a good job right you've got a new challenge and a new job is a challenge right you
00:22:28 get used to the work environment you get used to your co-workers you get used to your new boss the
00:22:31 new structure the new responsibilities the new customers so anxiety is I want to do a good job
00:22:37 and excellence comes out of wanting to do a good job and like everything in life we're enthusiastic
00:22:42 to do well we're afraid of doing badly so uh you can say the anxiety is the fear of doing badly
00:22:49 the excitement is your potential to do good so I would focus on the excitement in the opportunity
00:22:54 rather than the anxiety in the change how do you think the situation in Ukraine will end I honestly
00:23:02 feel nervous with how thirsty people seem for escalation it's too close to politics but it's
00:23:09 not going to be good obviously good morning Steph thank you for your tip good morning Steph my wife
00:23:14 gave birth to our first child over a month ago now your content has helped me enormously over
00:23:18 the past eight years I'm so excited to finally be a dad my wife and I will forever champion
00:23:23 peaceful parenting because of you thank you for everything you do well congratulations congratulations
00:23:29 I really really appreciate that of course I would assume that even though your wife was
00:23:35 in the process of giving birth that you would have stuck in for a live stream but what's that
00:23:41 there's a there's a very funny picture of a woman agonized in labor in the hospital bed and a guy
00:23:47 photographing pizza in front of saying had to order in because someone doesn't feel like cooking
00:23:50 tonight it's very funny so congratulations that's wonderful have you been watching fallout uh I've
00:23:57 watched up to episode three and don't really want to watch more yeah fallout is like the testicle
00:24:03 surgery channel you know I guess you could broadcast it and I guess it's you know vivid
00:24:07 but it's really unpleasant yeah fallout is is revolting like it's it's hell it's hell and
00:24:13 I think everybody who's working on that show must just be incredibly traumatized and dissociated
00:24:19 in order to produce such horrors hi Steph I oh and I've done some reviews of it so you can look at
00:24:25 those especially if you're a donor um so hi Steph I appreciate you I don't get to participate much
00:24:30 but I'm always listening and love supporting the cause thank you very much I appreciate that
00:24:33 I appreciate that yes I always wondered why people wouldn't think it would happen to them
00:24:40 if the tables turned no empathy it is tough you know it is tough to say I made common cause with
00:24:48 people who have no bond they have no bond most people who claim to care about the underprivileged
00:24:58 are looking to exploit their resentment to punish the virtuous random hookups in the after party
00:25:06 hotels too really common yeah it could be always forget you do this live great work good brain
00:25:11 I appreciate that thank you and they only care about the poor who hold the same opinions yeah
00:25:15 that's true and Naomi Wolf talks about uh or writes about how she's retreated retreated
00:25:21 from the abstract abstract glitterati scene and now is um living in in in the woods with real people
00:25:33 so yeah love these mathematical measures accumulated trust yeah you put deposits
00:25:42 in every time you have a good time everything and the negatives in in bonded relationships
00:25:48 in positive quality relationships the negatives are a positive there are no negatives right so
00:25:52 you have these conflicts you have these problems and because you've worked through and resolved
00:25:56 them your bond gets even stronger right the bond your bond gets even uh stronger
00:26:02 I definitely had experience have experienced this kind of lack of bond thing it makes me
00:26:08 feel like I wasted my time yeah employers like to create the illusion of a bond we are not a company
00:26:13 we are a family to make you walk harder and be loyal but as soon as you're not useful to them
00:26:17 anymore they just dump you without a second thought yes I really really would not
00:26:23 I really really would not work for a place that talked about
00:26:29 this as a family because uh you know it seems a little occult to me right
00:26:35 now
00:26:39 all right you have a couple of relationships some people my homies yeah no no unfortunately
00:26:44 good morning hard to type on mobile sun washes out the screen
00:26:52 I appreciate that but look at the handsome guy where the show is in the reflection of the screen
00:26:59 I've had some of those ends sadly yeah morning I have one outside the family
00:27:04 Chris Hedges just got cancelled on Real News Network because they're afraid they will lose
00:27:08 their funding slash tax-free status etc. Anxiety includes a bit of fear change includes risk no
00:27:14 fear seems like sociopathy yeah people who don't experience anything like that is really chilling
00:27:19 ah no Steph I don't have friends like that anymore so someone as of three weeks ago I
00:27:25 thought I did I just lost a close friend of five years because he flipped out over the rapture and
00:27:29 scripture etc. I totally disagreed it didn't speak to me it doesn't speak to me anymore it just ended
00:27:34 I didn't see it coming and I put myself down for not seeing it coming
00:27:37 as there were hints of it maybe that's my parents speaking through me
00:27:40 yeah I mean I'll be honest with you my my history is littered with people who
00:27:48 appear to be close and then you disagree with them and you cease to exist in their minds you just
00:28:00 cease to exist in their minds and it's some chilling stuff man it's some really really
00:28:06 chilling stuff to not have a bond gives people a lot of power like you know that right
00:28:14 to not have a bond with you gives people a lot of power right
00:28:26 uh so what do people say uh I do been friends for 15 years and we've been through a lot yeah good for you
00:28:36 all right uh is there a glitch in your novel just pour
00:28:44 in a later chapter okay I'll make a note of that and we'll double check that
00:28:51 thank you I will appreciate that I will look into that I won't give any spoilers since I lost most of
00:28:57 my friends when I got married bought a house and had a kid they just drifted away friends I've had
00:29:00 for 20 years weren't even interested in meeting my son yeah well you know progress is brutal in life
00:29:07 right there's a reason why people avoid progress they avoid getting married they avoid settling
00:29:16 down they avoid having kids they avoid moving on in their life because they know that for a lot of
00:29:23 people it would cost their their social life right it'll cost the social life people will just vanish
00:29:32 from their lives it's really tough it's really tough yeah I mean when I sort of moved on I mean
00:29:42 I had a couple of big movements in in my life um some reasonably good success in university uh I
00:29:51 mean I think I told you guys um a professor took an entire class to read one of my essays saying
00:29:57 it was just about the most perfect thing he'd ever read read the whole essay he says he's never done
00:30:01 this before I read my whole essay out to class and I was considered to be you know top top tier and
00:30:06 all of that until people found out about my philosophy or philosophy the philosophy that I
00:30:12 practiced and then I was de-platformed even back then I just despawned couldn't get an advisor and
00:30:16 all that kind of stuff right and so I did pretty well there but that wasn't sort of moving beyond
00:30:24 people in a sense when I you know I had to I had to fight a lot to do well in in my business career
00:30:30 because I you know grew up in a staggeringly poor single mother household and so I didn't really
00:30:38 have anyone who could give me good advice right and so I really had to you know just
00:30:45 grit my teeth and and push forward and try to navigate a extremely unfamiliar world and I did
00:30:52 it pretty well and uh I did I did very well in that world and and the people who came along with
00:31:00 me right I mean my friends who played Dungeons and Dragons well no not really not really so who
00:31:10 came along then of course I met the love of my life I got married and had a child and all of that
00:31:16 and um you know people it's it's it's hard to figure out exactly how to put it
00:31:29 but when you when your potential manifests it's like you're an incandescent light that gives
00:31:35 people migraines to be in the presence of you know if you ever had this thing where I remember
00:31:40 for some reason I I spent decades ago I spent an afternoon watching two movies in a movie theater
00:31:47 with with a friend of mine one of them was City Hall I think it was with the John Cusack I can't
00:31:51 remember what the other one was pretty bad films but after like you know four plus hours in the
00:31:58 relative dark right I came out and it was like you know five o'clock the sun was just setting
00:32:03 and coming you know it scalds your brain right like burns my brain and it takes a while for
00:32:13 your eyes to adjust you come out of a dark space into the sun like a gestapo swinging lamp of
00:32:21 interrogation you know drill straight into your brain it was like a bunch of lasers and when you
00:32:27 begin to achieve your own potential you turn incandescent and it hurts people you know like
00:32:35 sunlight to the vampire there's a reason for that right and so people who are denying their own
00:32:43 potential and I understand that evolutionarily speaking accepting your own potential was very
00:32:48 dangerous throughout most of human history really dangerous to accept your own potential
00:32:53 because it puts you in conflict with people in power if you have your own potential because if
00:32:58 everyone accepted their own potential we wouldn't need political hierarchies right
00:33:03 so when you accept your own potential and you begin to manifest your own potential
00:33:09 people it hurts people I don't know if you've had that experience but it is really it's really
00:33:21 tough for people it's quite brutal for them in fact and so when you begin to achieve your
00:33:31 own potential your friends not all but a lot and definitely some more than others but in general
00:33:39 when you begin to achieve your own potential your friends become quite uneasy
00:33:46 quite uneasy indeed because why not you why not them if you why not them you know and people
00:33:54 in particular with me I think that was in particular with me I think that was tough because
00:34:00 I had other friends who achieved their own potential but they all came from like a friend
00:34:04 of mine became a professor of economics but you know his father was head of an engineering
00:34:11 department at a university you know he had a good a good income and a very
00:34:16 literate and intellectual and wealthy and intelligent family his father of course gave
00:34:25 him tons of advice on how to achieve his goals in academia because his father had achieved that and
00:34:29 to you know great credit I've no negative things about that but when when some people achieve their
00:34:36 potential other people can make up excuses like well they had it made ah they had it made they
00:34:42 inherited this they had all of these resources they held these advantages and blah blah blah right
00:34:46 so when I began to really manifest my own potential for my friends who grew up poor
00:35:01 and who grew up in these you know really tragic depressing airless
00:35:06 horrible gas lit false lying manipulative and abusive environments which was you know most
00:35:18 of my friends in these sort of rank-controlled matriarchal manners it was tough and then people
00:35:25 said oh well you know but Steph's good looking and it's like okay well but you know I was losing my
00:35:29 hair and all of that so and and I didn't I didn't make I didn't make it in fields where being good
00:35:35 looking was a requirement it wasn't like in the tech field they require you to be
00:35:39 you know steel jawed Chadistan president right
00:35:42 so I was able to work and achieve and manifest my potential
00:35:55 and there were no excuses right I mean in fact I had every reason to never manifest my potential
00:36:04 I mean it would have been perfectly understandable and I if I hadn't manifested my potential they'd
00:36:08 say ah yes well you know the violence and the single mother and the poverty and the you know
00:36:13 he had to basically make his way on his own from a very early age because his single mother got
00:36:20 institutionalized and and so on right so there would have been every excuse right but
00:36:26 to hell with excuses like literally you go to hell with excuses right they say the road to
00:36:34 hell is paved with good intentions no the road to hell is paved with excuses and I really really
00:36:40 really really really really really never wanted to let the crappy people in my past win by handing
00:36:49 me excuses do you know what I mean that would be to never escape right because trash planet is
00:37:00 defined by excuses everyone's got an excuse everyone's got a reason everyone's got an
00:37:09 explanation as to what happened and why things didn't work nobody takes responsibility nobody
00:37:15 takes self-ownership everybody's got a sad compelling violin laced story as to why they
00:37:23 ended up oh I had a bad boss oh he was a great guy but he just changed oh she turned out to be
00:37:29 really mean oh this this my teacher had it out for me oh this oh that oh the other right
00:37:35 everybody's got an excuse and the excuse is the bottom of the barrel
00:37:44 you
00:37:46 the excuse is the underworld the excuse planet is hades
00:37:51 excuses are nothing more or less than promises of repetition
00:37:57 nobody takes ownership for their lives it's always external forces
00:38:03 well it's always this that or the other you know I had a friend of mine a very smart guy
00:38:12 took a double major math and physics double major math and physics at a very tough university
00:38:17 because he had a lot of vanity and he was complaining that the professors were they
00:38:24 graded on a curve right so they'd give people virtually impossible exams and then everybody
00:38:30 would get 20 but they'd grade it up to passing now that sucks right I mean that's not a good
00:38:34 way to teach people for sure but rather than say I was too vain and I took on too much right I was
00:38:44 one of the smartest guys in high school that's not the same as being one of the smartest guys
00:38:49 in an advanced university so he just quit university didn't go back and never achieved
00:38:58 his potential this is a guy it was wild like he used to he was working he was so cool and into
00:39:05 math this way that he would take all of the horse race results from the newspaper stack them up and
00:39:12 he was working on mathematical ways to predict which horses to bet on now I get that's a little
00:39:18 crazy and you can't really do that because they're not it's not physics right that's a whole bunch of
00:39:24 other things but anyway he was he was cool very smart guy and we had a lot of great conversations
00:39:29 over the years but the excuse he had was the course is is way too tough because nobody can even pass
00:39:42 right was he right about that he was
00:39:50 and but maybe if you don't take the double major like why why would you take this double major that
00:39:56 doesn't make sense to me but rather than adjust his expectations or even he could say he could
00:40:00 have said the university is is bad because they just do these crushingly hard exams that nobody
00:40:07 can pass and then there's a grade you up to a pass I get that's pretty bad right but I mean maybe one
00:40:13 of the reasons they do that is a lot of the guys who come in are really vain because they've been
00:40:18 top dog in their junior high and high schools and maybe they're really vain and they need to
00:40:23 humble them I don't know it probably is nothing virtuous or positive but
00:40:28 he wouldn't adjust his expectations
00:40:46 oh Michael sorry about the just poor thing is that in the audiobook or the text
00:40:54 the audiobook or the text if you could let me know thank you
00:40:57 have you ever heard of Joe Dispenza I have not
00:41:12 excuses are just terrible
00:41:15 I mean the universe handed me an infinite number of excuses and I just won't take them
00:41:29 I just excuses are like this devilish come hither to nothing finger just beckons you over to avoid
00:41:38 and of course excuses are a weakening of the will it's a weakening of your will it's a weakening of
00:41:47 your capacity to exercise your strength to create and survive all right let's see here somebody says
00:42:03 I lost my friends in 2017 being pro-Trump and all of that yeah it's tough man
00:42:08 and so if you don't give yourself excuses I mean I'm telling you the countdown clock
00:42:20 is set if you don't give yourself excuses then you are immediately diverging irrevocably from
00:42:28 the people who continue to give themselves excuses right if you don't give yourself excuses
00:42:34 you are now in a silent war and I'm not kidding about this like you in a silent war with the
00:42:41 people who do give themselves excuses it's a brutal brutal battle and you know I wasn't
00:42:47 conscious of it for quite some time you know I a friend of mine was languishing in his career
00:42:57 and I got him an interview for a more senior position and you know you get someone an interview
00:43:05 you're kind of putting your own reputation on the line guy didn't even show up didn't even
00:43:08 show up to the interview oh I got the wrong day blah blah blah I never got anywhere
00:43:14 somebody says I've had to shed all my friends except one since getting married my wife
00:43:24 has been on a similar path we're both still trying to find quality new friends it can be
00:43:27 difficult having no family or friends but the rebuild is absolutely worth it right
00:43:30 becoming enlightened can ostracize you from those unwilling to want to embrace growth very true
00:43:36 excuses are like a winning lottery ticket I don't understand that a winning lottery ticket actually
00:43:44 gets you resources excuses keeps you from resources but I'm happy to hear the explanation
00:43:50 the bastard excuses are always the smart ones they can rationalize their vices better than the average
00:43:54 yeah quite true hi Steph good morning all in a toast master meeting I learned through a member
00:44:03 speech the average human lives about 4 000 weeks I can't unhear this as someone who spends their
00:44:09 career planning weeks of work for myself and others I'm suddenly smashed in the face
00:44:13 they should probably be spending my time differently yeah yeah
00:44:17 yeah
00:44:22 in my university they called them weed out classes they were really hard to make you they
00:44:33 were trying really hard to make you drop out yeah yeah not adjusting expectations leads to burnout
00:44:39 absolutely somebody says I can verify my physics class the professor said on the first day that
00:44:44 half the people in this room won't be here in four weeks it was true I think you're right it's a wake
00:44:47 up call for vanity yeah I think so because what's the point like so what's the point of training
00:44:54 someone in physics if they can't be a teacher or get a job because people who are vain can't teach
00:45:00 anyone anything because all they do is they they're not in the relationship with the student to elevate
00:45:06 the student they're in the relationship with the student to elevate themselves and so if you are
00:45:11 full of vanity and arrogance and no empathy no sensitivity or or anything like that if you can't
00:45:17 adjust your expectations or deal with failure what's the point of teaching you anything because
00:45:22 you're going to go to grave with that knowledge never benefiting society because you can't
00:45:25 bend your vanity to serve others Steph if you don't give excuses what are some tips to take
00:45:32 ownership well first of all don't think of it as taking ownership right you don't take ownership
00:45:40 it's sort of like saying what is the best way to take control of your left leg like what
00:45:51 is it is it currently being grappled by some tentacle beast in lord of the rings no like you
00:45:57 don't take control of your left leg you have control of your left leg that just is what it is
00:46:02 if you kick someone you did that right so you don't take ownership you have ownership
00:46:08 you have ownership you can reject that if you want but even making excuses is exercising
00:46:20 self-ownership I own my excuses excuses are just there to make sure you never challenge anyone in
00:46:27 authority and that you stay in the stagnant still green duckweed social circle of doom
00:46:33 that you were probably born into
00:46:35 so you're not kidding about that silent war might be part of the reason why I gave
00:46:41 myself excuses for something despite hearing you talk about the subject a lot
00:46:45 on top of having a sticky note on my monitor saying no excuses yeah good for you
00:46:48 well and that kind of happened um uh on friday right when I talked about
00:46:55 for the nth time my disappointment and and pain at the lack of feedback on the peaceful
00:47:01 parenting book and I just got a bunch of excuses and that's that was instructive right that was
00:47:07 very helpful very helpful I mean I think it was a great conversation but yeah
00:47:13 and of course you know we're raised with a society that like everybody who didn't
00:47:22 earn your attention has to make excuses so teachers if you're bored do they say well I
00:47:29 suppose that's my fault for being a bad teacher oh because the teachers you're they're forced to
00:47:34 be paid you're usually forced to be there and so on right so certainly if a kid if your parents
00:47:38 went home school you got to go to school right so your teachers when you're bored they don't say
00:47:46 well I guess I've got to up my game as a teacher right they make excuses and the excuses are well
00:47:53 you have ADHD you you have a concentration it's not that I'm boring it's not that I'm boring
00:47:58 you have a neurological problem and therefore you need drugs
00:48:02 I mean like some guy in a bar who's like well well she doesn't seem that
00:48:10 she doesn't seem that attracted to me but but if I put a powder in her drink everything will be fine
00:48:14 it's wild eh? it's wild
00:48:20 somebody says I wish I could give you more than just the subscription dollars but I have to thank
00:48:32 you so much for your discussion on no excuses I've lost a significant amount of weight and
00:48:36 I'm so much stronger because you have become my inner voice telling me no excuses
00:48:42 when the alarm goes off and all I want to do is hit the snooze button instead of hit the gym
00:48:45 yeah yeah well good for you congratulations congratulations it's a big deal it's a big deal
00:48:49 that whole two-hour session was excuses and defenses people couldn't think about the question
00:48:56 you ask with very few exceptions I've never seen that level of avoidance in one of your
00:48:59 live streams it was really fascinating it really was fascinating and it had to wait for the book
00:49:03 to be done congrats Steph on the peaceful parenting book thank you Doug I appreciate that I appreciate
00:49:08 that you don't choose if you win the lottery so people who have been given a good quote excuse in
00:49:14 life hold on to it like a winning ticket I've heard people one up each other excuses like applying them
00:49:20 a number value so I view people who make excuses as sort of environmental toxins you know like if
00:49:30 you go into some let's say you're exploring some building it's kind of in the woods and then there's
00:49:35 black mold on the wall and the air stinks right the air stinks how long would you hang around
00:49:43 or you know you're exploring Chernobyl don't do it but if you were right
00:49:50 and you guy can't look because that's clicking like like crazy like a metronome metronome on cocaine
00:49:55 you get out right it's an environmental toxin
00:50:01 so there's a war inertia versus energy right excuses versus self-ownership and when you're
00:50:08 around people if you have self-ownership they will try to kill that in you and you will try to rouse
00:50:16 self-ownership in them somebody says downloaded the peaceful parenting ebook yesterday and I'm
00:50:25 loving it I found myself skipping around as if it were a reference book and in every section I found
00:50:29 useful and relatable arguments well thank you when you get to the um the proof section um the science
00:50:35 is just wild it was far greater than I thought of when I was starting the book so I appreciate
00:50:41 that and thank you for the tip that's very kind all right um
00:50:57 oh there's a typo thank you no listen I appreciate that I mean I appreciate that
00:51:01 all right um
00:51:06 what are your thoughts about meditation or exercising how to think in accordance with
00:51:15 emotional regulation and redefining beliefs about the self and how that might change behavior
00:51:19 sorry that's too vague a question I can't follow that I've been I'm happy to hear it refreshed
00:51:26 I've been following since 2016 you changed my life and I haven't donated a dollar to you one
00:51:31 day I will make up for it but for now keep going my friend 2016 is eight years I've changed your life
00:51:39 that's interesting you haven't uh haven't donated a dollar
00:51:44 so I've changed your life you've cost me money and you haven't donated a dollar
00:51:51 you've given me a dollar
00:51:51 that's interesting
00:51:57 that's interesting I if you could tell me why I would I would appreciate that I really would
00:52:05 you know I mean you can do it anonymously right you just get a prepaid visa or you know crypto
00:52:12 or something right you can you can donate anonymously if you're concerned about that so
00:52:16 yeah I'm just you know no hate or anything I'm just genuinely curious why I would have
00:52:22 changed your life and you're costing me money all right because I mean every listener I love you
00:52:28 guys to death but you all understand every listener costs me money right it costs us money
00:52:33 because there's four of us working here so every listener costs us money right
00:52:40 server storage, bandwidth costs, server costs, the you know we all need some income and
00:52:47 cameras and audio and processing and time and all the we have like a half infinity
00:52:53 of third-party sources so every listener costs us money
00:52:56 and I mean obviously I'm completely thrilled that I have
00:53:05 changed your life I think that's wonderful and I really appreciate that
00:53:10 but I'm curious I suppose
00:53:15 as to why I haven't changed your life enough for reciprocity
00:53:25 right reciprocity because donations are
00:53:34 something that indicates reciprocity right donations is you're not in a parent-child
00:53:41 relationship where I just provide you resources and you don't have to provide anything back
00:53:45 it's kind of growing to inequality and saying well we're two adults and then we
00:53:48 we should exchange value right and again the value doesn't have to be money right
00:53:53 all right so let's see here step for example your friend that dropped out from the double
00:54:04 major how would not making excuses look like would it be him focusing on single
00:54:07 major and working harder basically not making excuses is finding a solution
00:54:11 well he chose the double major and the work turned out to be brutal
00:54:22 so he went from things being and we've all done this right going from things being easy
00:54:30 to things being hard right haven't we all had that so when you get further and further up in
00:54:38 your expertise at some point you hit a limit and it goes from being
00:54:45 easy to being hard right so let's say he's got an ability of a hundred right my friend's got
00:54:55 an ability of a hundred and the school requirements are 20 so he's five times better than he needs to
00:55:02 be for high school so he just sits down he blazes through it it's easy and so on right
00:55:08 now when things are easy for you you have a choice right when things are easy for you you have a choice
00:55:15 when things are easy for you
00:55:20 you have the choice to make them as hard as possible to really challenge yourself
00:55:26 or you have the choice to say well i guess i'm just so wonderful and fantastic that
00:55:30 everything's easy to me because i'm such a genius and i'm so brilliant or this that and the other
00:55:34 right some things in philosophy are easy for me and some things in philosophy are hard for me
00:55:44 the peaceful parenting book which i've now been working on for like 14 months
00:55:50 i mean it's 800 pages and a lot of it is very technical in terms of this sort of scientific
00:55:56 and biological support for peaceful parenting it was a brutal experience man i hope i don't think
00:56:02 i'll ever do anything like that again honestly i don't think i'll ever do anything like that again
00:56:06 because that was about as brutal as things get plus you know i mean but i hate to hop on the
00:56:10 same topic but sort of lack of support from the community did not exactly help that process right
00:56:16 so that was brutal uh upb was a brutal experience
00:56:19 i mean essential philosophy was a joy to write i literally i had a
00:56:27 voice dictation software hooked up a computer on a treadmill and i was just
00:56:32 walking fast and and writing the book by dictating it it was just glorious and easy and great and fun
00:56:38 right i find that because i've done so many call-in shows the general pattern of call-in shows
00:56:45 although the insights are different each time the general pattern is is pretty easy to do
00:56:48 right so there's stuff that's easier for me and then there's stuff that's harder for me
00:56:53 now if all i did was focus on the stuff that was the easiest for me
00:56:56 then i would risk vanity did you see what i'm saying i would risk the toxin called vanity
00:57:04 well i'm so good at this and it's so easy for me i can't believe it's difficult for everyone else
00:57:08 i'm right because you avoid that which is difficult which fuels the toxin called vanity
00:57:14 and we're all tempted for that and we should enjoy the things that we're good at i'm not saying
00:57:18 anything like that but i yeah my friend who was five times better than he needed to be for
00:57:30 high school math
00:57:35 should have pushed himself with high school math and said well this is so easy i have to i can go
00:57:40 to a secondhand bookstore i can buy some university textbooks i can i can just work harder i can go
00:57:45 deeper i can really challenge myself as opposed to oh this is just easy you know oh so easy right
00:57:50 and this happens with athletes as well right so athletes that are top dog in high school are
00:57:56 mediocre in college and bottom of the trough in professional sports right so if you just happen
00:58:04 to be a really get great like naturally you've got a lot of talent with tennis and you can just
00:58:08 beat everyone in your local tennis league then you should stop playing in your local tennis league and
00:58:14 you should start playing people who can really challenge you because i mean isn't it kind of
00:58:20 the case that stuff you're easy at stuff that's easy for you is really boring doesn't it get
00:58:26 really boring and isn't it kind of a little embarrassing you know isn't it kind of a little
00:58:31 bit embarrassing to you know beat people who are
00:58:39 bad at something you're good at like naturally good at so what he should have done in my humble
00:58:48 opinion is when like you know metaphysics and epistemology are not my particular preferences
00:58:57 but i've worked very hard on those to try and become better because it's really hard
00:59:01 right the relationship between sense data and language is tough right and i did this sort of
00:59:07 was it 17 or 19 part introduction to philosophy series many years ago i go through my whole
00:59:13 philosophy ground up how do you get to all the way through to politics right and abstract morality
00:59:17 from sense data from nothing right that's my cartesian meditation right descartes so
00:59:24 that's hard that was hard work to organize my thoughts and as i've said before i was so
00:59:30 frustrated at not having a rational proof of secular philosophy that i just sat down
00:59:34 with a big cup of coffee and said i'm not getting out from this table until i've solved it
00:59:38 20 years i hadn't solved it i mean that's terrible so my friend should have said well i'm way too
00:59:47 smart and and talented for high school math so i should really get to get to the edge of your
00:59:53 abilities that's where the fun is it's the edge of your abilities i don't have any show notes for
01:00:01 today right it's ad lib it's the edge of my abilities i'm doing i get friday night i had
01:00:08 no idea i was going to talk about the lack of feedback from peaceful parenting in my other books
01:00:14 right i had no idea i was going to do that and i did all of that stuff on the fly it's a really
01:00:22 challenging conversation you know balancing criticism with humility with don't attack
01:00:27 yourself like a really challenging conversation all on the fly all ad-libbed right so it's like
01:00:35 solo jazz in front of a giant audience right because i'm aware that everything i do is going
01:00:42 to be reviewed in the future by both malevolent and benevolent eyes right so it's a uh it's a
01:00:51 tough job and i like the challenge of the live streams i really do
01:00:57 so let's see here
01:01:10 somebody says same with anything it's why i feel the world is trying to tell me i have nothing of
01:01:14 value to offer the world i sympathize with staff yeah uh silver spider says when i was a kid my dad
01:01:19 who once owned a company gave up and told me advice like no matter how good you are someone
01:01:23 will always be better it took me until my 30s to start my life with your advice right dnd stats
01:01:30 analogy lol i love it immoral people enjoy crushing weaker opponents moral people do not
01:01:37 yeah i mean if somebody beats somebody else really badly in tennis right i don't look at
01:01:48 the person who you know just one in straight sets you know 40 love 40 love 40 like i don't view
01:01:56 someone like that as being any good at all i view that person as being incredibly vain and ridiculous
01:02:02 right and look we've all we've all played with people i mean i play pickleball with my wife i
01:02:09 play tennis with my wife and you know she's you know five foot two right you've got little
01:02:17 tyrannosaurus arms and so on so i have to adjust my play as opposed to when i'm playing you know
01:02:21 i was playing in a league and i ended up winning and but i really had to adjust my play i have to
01:02:25 adjust my play with my wife because i enjoy playing with her and it's great exercise and it's a great
01:02:29 deal of fun but i'm not going to like crush her yeah you know every 10 10 0 10 like that that
01:02:36 would be sad and pathetic right and um so on and there's stuff she's better at than me right so
01:02:44 my friend should have been like well this work is too easy for me so he should up the difficulty
01:02:51 until it's a real challenge right i mean if i was i remember i trip i've consciously trolled people
01:02:57 many years ago on twitter um i was at a gym i think it was in poland or something and there
01:03:03 was like these two and a half pound weights that were pink and i took a photo of them and said just
01:03:07 finish my workout feeling the burn right and um that was very funny because you know i mean i do
01:03:14 30 35 pounders for my curls and like again i'm no big muscle guy but you know i i try and work it so
01:03:19 that it's a sweat and my heart's pounding and and you know there's a nice burn afterwards and all of
01:03:23 that but so yeah the little pink tassel weights you know just finished my workout right it's like
01:03:30 that um the guy who's taking a picture of a selfie uh and he's a he's sweating like a pig and and
01:03:36 and he's like looks exhausted and he's like it's seven o'clock in the morning at the gym just
01:03:42 finished taking a shit time for my workout and it's like that is hilarious that is hilarious
01:03:47 because he's overweight of course right so yeah you you up you up the difficulty until it's a
01:03:53 challenge like the only reason i'm still doing philosophy is because i'm not doing the same
01:03:56 philosophy right the only reason i'm still doing philosophy is because i'm not doing the same this
01:04:00 is a new conversation right where would you draw the line between excuses and explanations
01:04:06 so excuses are giving yourself an out for failing to achieve you're always responsible for failing
01:04:20 to achieve always responsible for failing to achieve because let's say it was impossible for
01:04:26 my friend to do the math and physics double major right he's responsible for that because
01:04:31 he chose the math and physics double major you're always responsible for failing to achieve
01:04:34 so excuses and explanations explanations are usually of rational limitations right so why
01:04:46 am i not a famous singer because i'm not not a very good singer right i enjoy singing i'm you
01:04:50 know an average okay amateur can kind of carry a tune a little bit but i don't have a great voice
01:04:56 so the explanation as to why like i love to sing but why would i not be a singer because i don't
01:05:00 have a great voice right so that's not an excuse that's an explanation that's an actual fact right
01:05:04 and for me to try and be a singer would be a waste of time it would hurt my voice because i'd have to
01:05:10 strain it and it's just not the thing right it's just not the thing so explanations are here's why
01:05:17 i didn't do something that was not going to be productive and but you don't need those people
01:05:23 don't sit there and say steve why why aren't you a famous singer like whatever right why aren't you
01:05:27 this that and the other right um if uh you know i was like the one percent of people who were
01:05:32 accepted to the national theater school in canada and uh they told me because i went there for acting
01:05:37 and playwriting and they said look you're such a good actor you should forget the playwriting just
01:05:41 be an actor right and why did i not pursue acting because i found the people repulsive in the acting
01:05:48 world like skin crawlingly repulsive i had like physical symptoms of like like almost like
01:05:56 allergies or something i just found the people in the acting world to just be like repulsive um so
01:06:03 i just is that an explanation it's not an excuse an excuse is i really tried to be an actor
01:06:09 i failed and i made it up i made up some everybody just hates me for no reason right
01:06:15 or reasons i can't explain now the explanation like people said well you went to theater school
01:06:20 and you were a good actor why don't you why don't you act right and it's like well because i found
01:06:25 the acting world repulsive it's like government paid it's it's uh all about propaganda and
01:06:32 there's no real authenticity or curiosity there's no exploration of the human condition there's just
01:06:37 ways to railway spike drive into socialism into people's heads right so
01:06:41 oh man so some of the people who constantly talk about their hardships a lot of people like that
01:06:47 in the black pill looks like everything looks for everything crowd that's growing with zoomers yeah
01:06:52 auto-tune steph you could be like t-pain yeah yeah
01:07:00 well and if you look at someone who has a wonderful glorious voice uh look at someone
01:07:06 like justin bieber right one of the most successful singers and a very great performer
01:07:10 too it's sort of underrated and uh he's miserable he's absolutely miserable yes the intro to
01:07:19 philosophy series was recently remastered and it's in premium.freedomain.com the premium content
01:07:24 manager premium.freedomain.com you can have a look at all of the great stuff thumbs up under
01:07:29 the video helps the locals algorithm also let's smash it people quite right thank you for the tip
01:07:35 thank you for the tip all right uh so i think we are going to go to you know what let me give you
01:07:50 this since we're here here are uh here are your links to the peaceful parenting book uh 40 years
01:08:01 of my life all distilled in one grueling 14 month journey from hell i'm gonna pass this over so that
01:08:08 you can see it all right the beginning of me paying you back hardest thing in life is letting
01:08:17 go of the idea that you can change your family for the better oh thank you and i'm i appreciate
01:08:21 that i appreciate that uh if you if i have an addiction such as smoking in order to suppress
01:08:26 recurring bad emotions such as guilt from past trauma maybe childhood yeah it's not um it's not
01:08:34 that though so if you smoke to suppress recurring bad emotions um it's because the bad emotions keep
01:08:44 coming the addiction is to is to manage the continual stimuli right the continual negative
01:08:49 stimuli it's not that you were just permanently traumatized from the past it's because you
01:08:57 continue to be traumatized in the present and you have to get to a place where you're no longer
01:09:01 traumatized my view i'm no expert on this but in my experience bad habits diminish and vanish
01:09:11 when you are no longer in the process of being continually traumatized so the addiction is to
01:09:15 the old bad relationships the other stuff like whatever smoking or drinking or drugs right
01:09:22 the actual addiction is to the bad relationships which continues to traumatize you and then you
01:09:27 manage the pain of those bad relationships with the addiction right but the real addiction is
01:09:32 to the retrauma retraumatizing and that's because you're pleasing those who have done you harm
01:09:38 rather than those what's beneficial to yourself
01:09:43 all right so there's your bookie books once more
01:09:48 all right will there be a physical version of peaceful parenting i don't know i don't know
01:09:55 i don't know i don't know honestly it's it's hard right i mean so people are like well i'm i'm gonna
01:10:04 wait till it's finished to read it and it's like but you know i'm releasing it in set in in in i'm
01:10:09 releasing it in segments like i started releasing it last october i'm releasing the segments in
01:10:13 order to get feedback right because it was grueling i mean i really felt like i was carrying the ring
01:10:20 across mortar with with no help and support really uh it was tough it was tough so the physical
01:10:27 version of peaceful parenting i don't know man it's a lot of work to put that together
01:10:32 it's easier to do an e-book of course right it's a lot of work to put that together and my experience
01:10:37 has been people say i want the book i want the book i want the book and then i spend a month
01:10:42 or two creating the physical book and nobody buys it so um i uh i don't i don't have any particular
01:10:50 desire to do it and i have to be responsible to the income of the company right i mean this is a
01:10:57 business concern as well as a safe the world mad mission um so if i apply the resources time effort
01:11:04 energy and money to produce the physical book there has to be a return on investment right
01:11:10 otherwise i'm not handling people's donations responsibly if that makes sense right so if i
01:11:16 put a month or two into creating a physical version and it doesn't sell many copies then
01:11:20 that has been disrespectful to the donations because i've used them for something that hasn't
01:11:24 been productive so i'm always sort of conscious of what i spend money on because it comes through
01:11:29 your support freedom.com/donate so um i don't know i don't know i'll have to see i'll have to
01:11:37 sort of feel my way along this right so i think we are going to what if we donate towards the book
01:11:45 prepay for the book that's a possibility but what if uh the problem is of course what i have to sort
01:11:50 of judge the level of interest that people have in the book as a whole and it hasn't been very high
01:11:54 right it just it just hasn't been uh very high so the problem is what if um i i take the time
01:12:04 to set all of that up and i publicize it and then we don't get much money then i have to return
01:12:11 everything because then like i just don't see how that's productive as a whole and i have a lot of
01:12:15 experience putting books out i have a lot of experience putting books out and way back in
01:12:19 the day there was a merch shop right there was a merchandise shop because people were like i want
01:12:23 t-shirts i want this i want that i want the other and it's like and then nobody really bought
01:12:27 anything so it's just kind of a continual circle that that goes on in this community and after 18
01:12:32 years i'm pretty pretty aware of it so all right so here's what we're gonna do if you are a donor
01:12:39 uh let's see here congratulations on the book thank you i appreciate that
01:12:46 the peaceful parenting revolution will bring humanity out of a second dark age i hope so
01:12:51 the research in peaceful parenting book is mind-blowing stuff a real eye-opener not
01:12:56 finished listening but the chapters are really really well done thank you for your hard work
01:12:59 steph much love to you and thanks to jared for that as well he did a lot of that research
01:13:03 and it's really really great stuff all right so we're gonna flip over
01:13:07 only publish if you meet the donation requirements oh i understand that thank you for the blindingly
01:13:14 obvious you know i've been an entrepreneur for 30 years well you know if if people are going to
01:13:19 donate only publish if you meet the donation requirements but then i have to refund everyone
01:13:24 if i don't right like i'm just why i mean i can just why why why i mean i could just keep doing
01:13:30 shows and getting donations and all of that right so and it's you know it's boring and dull and
01:13:35 tedious and detail crap too you know if you if you're making a physical book it's like well what's
01:13:41 the size what's the you know what quality you're going to use how you know you have to change the
01:13:46 the spine to the right size and oh my god it's just it's a huge finicky mess right
01:13:50 i love the audiobooks thank you for your time you've poured into these and also i have to i have
01:13:56 to manage my enthusiasm so let's say i say oh here's a a place you can donate and if there's
01:14:01 enough donations will produce a physical book and let's say i get 15 bucks right don't refund
01:14:07 i don't think that's right i don't think that's right i don't think say donate for the physical
01:14:11 book and then i don't produce a physical book then i would have to refund and what if um yeah
01:14:17 and what if it's just like 50 bucks or 25 bucks or whatever that's kind of depressing i do have
01:14:21 to manage my own levels of enthusiasm so i have no particular desire or plan to but we don't know
01:14:26 for sure all right so we're gonna switch over if you're a donor check where you are for the skype
01:14:32 link and we can talk more about what we were talking about on friday if people are interested
01:14:37 because i think it's very very interesting topic there's a lot of potential growth there so i hope
01:14:40 that people will come and join that and if you want to donate to join that conversation i will
01:14:45 give you a link right now i will give you a link right now you can join for free join in the
01:14:53 conversation join for free and uh if you don't find it's worthwhile if you don't find that it is
01:15:06 worthwhile you can cancel before the end of the month and my only excuse for not giving feedback
01:15:13 is that i've not read the book yet time is an issue but me a couple for not making time well
01:15:18 you have time for the live streams i generally don't believe the no time stuff i generally don't
01:15:26 believe it right all right so uh i'll join you goes over in skype give me give me five minutes
01:15:32 and i'll be over in there and thanks everyone so much for your time if you're listening to this
01:15:36 later free domain.com/donate i would really really appreciate your support for the show and
01:15:41 remember if you subscribe at subscribe star.com/freedomain or freedom.locals.com
01:15:49 then you can get the peaceful parenting audiobook you know it's 23 hours it's a 23 hour audiobook
01:15:59 a lot of it very very i mean a lot of it's very passionate very powerful a lot of it's very
01:16:03 technical and gives you the entire scientific reason as to why peaceful parenting is so
01:16:07 essential like what happens to the body in the state of trauma so i hope that you will join us
01:16:12 and give me five and we'll talk over there and lots of love everybody thank you for coming by
01:16:17 today a great pleasure to chat with you and i will talk to you later bye
01:16:25 you
01:16:26 you
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