Stefan Molyneux
  • 2 months ago
In this episode, I examine a disturbing video of a father physically disciplining his son, highlighting the societal implications of such abuse and the troubling double standard in how children are treated. I discuss the psychological impact on children, revealing how such experiences can instill lasting fear and mistrust of authority. By challenging the justifications for physical punishment, I advocate for a cultural shift toward empathy and self-discipline in parenting, emphasizing the need to protect children's dignity and promote healthier emotional development.

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Transcript
00:00All righty, well, this is Stefan Molyneux from Free Domain.
00:04Get ready for something brutal, fairly brutal.
00:08So this is, I assume, a father.
00:11You have two children, and they're in, of course, some store.
00:17And you have the girl here looking to the left in the striped shirt.
00:21She knows what's coming.
00:22You have the father in a mask.
00:25You have the son trying to initiate physical contact with the father, perhaps to look for
00:30empathy for what is coming next.
00:34And I want you to listen to these sounds.
00:41So that sound, just for those of you who've not been hit, so he is looking for the leg,
00:47the fleshly part of the leg, and the father, at least in my view, is cupping his hands
00:53in order to create maximum pain and shock in the child, right, in his son.
01:02So he's not, you know, lightly swatting on the buttocks where the clothing is, where
01:07the trousers are, the pants, but he is instead cupping his hand.
01:10That's why you get that shock sound.
01:12He's cupping his hand in order to inflict maximum pain on the bare skin of the son.
01:18Let's look at it again.
01:19Listen.
01:20Okay, so then he just drags his son up.
01:27Now of course, this is, the child's face is in agony that this big asshole is showing
01:36what a tough guy and a bully he is by smacking hard on bare skin in public a child who was
01:44approximately 20% of his size and weight.
01:50And the girl has completely disconnected because, and she's looking at the injury because she
01:56doesn't want to have what's happening next to her.
01:59Sit your ass down.
02:02Right, so sit your ass down.
02:05So let's look at it again and look at the girl this time.
02:09Okay, so she does seem to say something here.
02:17I don't know exactly what it is, but you see the girl is looking away.
02:23The sounds, she looks over, won't look directly at it, looks at it directly.
02:29And then you can see that she tries to say something to the father as in stop or help.
02:36I don't know exactly what that is.
02:41And you see she flinches here when the father comes over.
02:49Now what's very strange is that he's saying to her, sit your ass down, which is a harsh
02:55thing to say to a toddler when she is in fact already sitting.
03:00So what's happening here is that this father is telling his children that they must stay
03:12in control.
03:13So sit your ass down means that the kids were probably, you know, maybe they're stuck in
03:17the DMV or some government office or something like that.
03:20This looks like a fairly bland place.
03:22So the father has something to do here and pay taxes or registration or renewing his
03:26driver's license, something like that, right?
03:27And the kids are bored and running around, right?
03:32And what's happening is the father is, it's this kind of, I don't know the circumstances,
03:37it's just my guess, right?
03:39But there's kind of like the way that child abuse happens, and this is to me straight
03:43up child abuse because you couldn't do this to any adult and you certainly, you couldn't
03:48do this to an adult with limited cognitive abilities, right?
03:52So if this man had a daughter who was 20 years old and mentally handicapped, he could
03:58not smack her in this kind of way.
04:00It's only children.
04:01So generally the way this happens is the children are running around, the children are quote
04:09out of control, which just means being children, I mean they lack consequentialist thinking.
04:14So the children are out of control and what happens is the other abusers in the environment,
04:20the other abusers in the environment, they start signaling through impatience, through
04:26looking at the kids, through whispering, they start to transfer to the father the sense
04:31of humiliation.
04:32Oh, your kids, these kids are out of control, the kids are running around and rather than
04:37showing some sympathy for the father and rather than saying, well kids will be kids and all
04:42of that, you know, like when I used to fly a lot, sometimes you'd have a kid who was
04:47really restless and so on and I would always try to make sure that the parent of the child
04:53knew that I understood and sympathized and did not expect great behavior or quote great
04:58behavior on the part of the child because he's a child.
05:01So when the kids are running around, you give a smile to the parents.
05:05Yes, kids run around, we understand and we should take delight in their enthusiasm and
05:10their energy and so on.
05:12But what the abusers in the environment do is they signal, and again I'm not talking
05:16about this situation in particular but just in general, what they do is they signal that
05:22they view the father as a bad father for quote letting his children run around.
05:30So then the father goes and enacts this based upon the impatience.
05:35Like this kind of abuse, of course it happens at home and all of that, but this kind of
05:38abuse in social situations is usually the result of the children running around and
05:43other people expressing hostility and impatience to the children running around, the father
05:47being humiliated and then punishing the children.
05:49It's a collective situation.
05:51All child abuse is collective unless perhaps it's just someone in the woods in the middle
05:55of nowhere with a kid, but all child abuse is collective, certainly in public.
06:00And it's very, very important when you see these kinds of situations escalating to say
06:04to the man, it's tough for kids, you know, when they're stuck, I'd like to run around
06:08too, you know, so that he doesn't feel like his kids are quote bad and he needs to punish
06:12them because of the disapproval of the parents, right?
06:16So the children are quote out of control and the father reacts by being out of control.
06:23And this is a desperately humiliating situation for the father, not just because of the social
06:28stuff, but because his children aren't listening to him and why are the children not listening
06:33to him?
06:34Because he's terrifying and violent, right?
06:38So this is a really tragic situation.
06:43How is it good parenting to cup hand, hard smack your little toddler in public on his
06:50bare skin?
06:52How is that good parenting?
06:54And you see this in society, if this was a man hitting his girlfriend, there would be
06:59no question.
07:00He would be immediately up on charges and he would go straight into the legal system,
07:07right?
07:08But because they're helpless and dependent little children, right, they're being smacked
07:11in public.
07:12And also what the children are learning from this, which is a lesson they will never forget,
07:17what the children are learning in this is that society won't step in to help them, that
07:21bullies run the world and good people might give them sympathetic glances, but they can't
07:25do anything, won't lift a finger.
07:27And that's what the children will learn, that society is brutal on the helpless and dependent
07:34and trapped and that physical violence is the way to solve problems.
07:39And the kids, they will get immediate compliance, but kids rebel, in particular boys, right?
07:45So this is another archetypical situation, right, where the boy obviously has been rebelling
07:50or is disobedient.
07:51The girl is just sitting there because she's more susceptible to the violence being smaller.
07:56And so she is compliant because the boy is being hit and that's a very common thing.
08:03And again, if we look here.
08:12So that's very strange too, sit your ass down.
08:15So the boy gets hit, right, again, just breaking my heart to see the agony in this boy's face.
08:22So the boy is getting smacked really hard.
08:25I mean, that's a huge blow.
08:27I mean, imagine somebody cupped hands and he doesn't even have hair to break the blows
08:31on his skin, right?
08:32So cupped hands hitting absolutely bare skin, somebody four to five times your size, I mean,
08:38that's a strong hit, right?
08:40So the boy is smacked really, really hard and the girl is simply told something, sit
08:52your ass down, right?
08:54The boy is smacked and the girl is verbally threatened, right?
08:58And that's, again, quite a common thing.
08:59This is one of the reasons why boys end up more physically aggressive and girls end up
09:03more verbally aggressive is that the boys often receive more physical aggression and
09:07the girls receive more verbal threats and aggression, which is why they grow up to become
09:11mean girls who spread rumors and defame people and so on, right?
09:15So that is the situation.
09:18It's absolutely appalling.
09:20It's monstrous and it is something that it's honestly, it's good for these kids that this
09:26is recorded because they will grow up and they will see this behavior.
09:32They will see this behavior.
09:33Now, I don't know when this is.
09:34It seems a little bit past the time where people should be wearing masks, but this does
09:41not look like a man who exercises, right?
09:44And therefore, he also may have less physical confidence and therefore would be more aggressive.
09:53So let's look at some of the comments.
09:57Would you call this abuse or good parenting?
10:00Nobody knows the context there.
10:02Did they run out into the street?
10:03Was there another danger they got into and weren't listening to him?
10:06So then the big question is, okay, well, why would kids run out into the street, right?
10:12Why would kids run out into the street?
10:15It's a very, very important question.
10:17So when I was, when my daughter was this age, she was very, she was very close.
10:22I remember one time I was at the mall with my wife, a very crowded mall, and we were
10:30looking at, it was in Toronto at the Eaton Center where they have this big giant fountain,
10:34and we were looking at the fountain.
10:37And I turned around to show my daughter the fountain and she had gotten separated from
10:41us.
10:42You know, it was like, I don't know, 10, 15 feet away.
10:47She had gone to some, you know, this kind of thing can happen.
10:51And she was like half in tears because she couldn't see us for like five seconds.
10:56So your kids want to stay close.
11:00Why do they want to run away, right?
11:02Why do they want to run away?
11:04Kids are naturally programmed to stay close.
11:07I mean, it's like ducklings, right?
11:10They're programmed to be kind of like ducklings.
11:14And ducklings want to stay close.
11:19So why do they want to run away?
11:21Because they fear and hate you.
11:22So it's a vicious circle, right?
11:25Too much and in public.
11:27One swat is enough to get his attention, okay?
11:31So you always know when people have a bad conscience when they redefine words, right?
11:37That is a smack.
11:38It is a hard smack.
11:40It is a hit.
11:41That is not just a swat, all right?
11:43So they have to write, this is why they have to redefine, they have to say spanking rather
11:47than hitting in someone, right?
11:53And then they say, and someone says, I personally had parents that used corporal punishment.
11:58It should be who used, but anyway.
11:59I personally had parents that used corporal punishment and I'm now 40 years old and I
12:03can sit here and say that I truly believe what they did was 100% right.
12:08And I feel that parents that don't discipline their children in that way and just put a
12:11kid in the corner is why we have the society we have today.
12:16Right, right, right, well, I don't, I don't accept that.
12:29It's not making an argument.
12:31That is somebody who has, in my view, a trauma bond with abuse.
12:39And see, corporal punishment, right?
12:42They, they don't say hitting children, all right?
12:50Somebody says my single mother never put her hands on any of her kids and after 47 years
12:54we will all be going out to dinner for the 500th time as a family.
12:58All seven of her kids love her and respect her for what she did for us and what she didn't
13:02do to us.
13:03Lovely, right?
13:04Yeah, and of course, if this is what he does in public, what might he do at home?
13:11Well, says someone, well, it certainly didn't address the problem and all it did was allow
13:16him to show that he can be a bully.
13:18Oh, is that grandpa?
13:20Is that grandpa?
13:21How old is this guy?
13:22It's hard to tell with the face mask, but yeah, it could be grandpa, could be grandpa.
13:30And of course, you're sowing the seeds for the next generation of hitting children, right?
13:34My mom hit us, my brothers and me turned out, all right, today you have complete sissies.
13:43Well, I think that the sissification of a lot of kids these days is the verbal abuse
13:51that they experience in schools, right?
13:55The verbal abuse tends to weaken.
13:57I mean, physical abuse can make kids have a harder shell, so to speak.
14:02It's not healthy, of course, but verbal abuse really undermines the entire personality,
14:06which is why I consider verbal abuse worse than physical abuse.
14:11And the verbal abuse that the kids experience in schools and have for the last couple of
14:16generations, you know, your ancestors were murderers and genociders and climate change
14:22is going to kill you all.
14:25And if you're a boy, you're toxic, like all of that, just absolutely vicious verbal abuse
14:31has weakened people's core, particularly the boys.
14:36So it's not a lack of physical abuse.
14:40In the past, physical abuse was associated with cultural pride, right?
14:46So the boys and the men in society were respected, the ancestors were respected, the culture
14:51and the country were respected.
14:53And so there was physical abuse, but verbal praise and pride.
15:00So now you have no physical abuse and caustic verbal abuse, particularly in government-run
15:09institutions or government-mandated curricula, you have this intense sort of half-soul-destroying
15:16verbal abuse.
15:17And so that's why people have become, quote, weaker, so to speak.
15:24I'd call it none of my business.
15:26Okay, well, that's fine.
15:29You can say that what parents do to their children is none of your business.
15:35And what that means is that you're going to grow up in a society full of people who've
15:41been physically or emotionally or in other ways abused as children.
15:46And so you can say, hey, it's none of my business, it's none of my business, that's fine.
15:50I don't think it's, but it is going to become your business when these kids grow up.
15:54Because these are the kids who you're going to rely on to take care of you when you get
15:58old, right?
16:00So if you're 40 and this kid is like, I don't know, three or four or five, then when you
16:07are 80, that kid's going to be in his 40s, and he's going to be paying taxes and taking
16:12care of you when you get old, because you're going to want to do that, right?
16:19In Germany, you will be prosecuted for this, yes, but of course then in Germany, you have
16:23the absolute verbal abuse assault on the German population as a whole, as children.
16:33So I don't think there's enough here to say, I would have been taken out to the cart.
16:40This should not be a public action.
16:42Also was it from anger?
16:43That would be wrong.
16:44There's a wrong way and a right way.
16:45Yeah, so apparently there's a right way to hard smack your children on a bare leg repeatedly.
16:52And of course, it's out of anger.
16:54The parent is out of control and complaining and punishing the children for being out of
16:58control.
16:59So it's completely hypocritical, right?
17:01That was a bit excessive, but I get it.
17:10So and of course, what's going to happen is when the, if this is the father or the grandfather
17:19or whatever, when that person gets old, they will also further condemn the child, right?
17:26So the person's going to get old.
17:27This is, let's say it's the father, right?
17:29Father's going to get old.
17:31And then the father is going, or the parent or whoever, right?
17:36The father is going to say to the kids, you got to take care of me.
17:40The kids are going to be hesitant.
17:41And then there's going to be more tirades of verbal abuse because the children won't
17:46be doing, quote, the right thing and won't be shouldering their responsibilities and
17:50doing what's right.
17:51And it just doesn't end.
17:52It just never ends.
17:55So saying no with firmness is much more useful.
18:00So what you need to do as a parent, right?
18:03As a caregiver to a child, parent or grandfather, right?
18:06What you need to do is model self-discipline.
18:09If you want the children to be disciplined, if you want the children to have self-discipline,
18:16then you need to model self-discipline to the children, for the children, right?
18:23If you don't model self-discipline for the children, then you can't really blame the
18:26children for doing what you're doing and acting out of impulse, right?
18:32So this is really tragic.
18:34And I got to tell you, man, I mean, there's a guy who's been working on defending the
18:39rights and bodily integrity of children for like 40 years plus.
18:47It's pretty tough.
18:51It's pretty tough to see where society is still at and how much further there is to
18:59go.
19:00But we do what we can to move the conversation forward.
19:07And it's hard to see.
19:09It's hard to see.
19:10All right.
19:11Freedomain.com.
19:12Hope you'll check out the show.
19:13Thank you so much.
19:14Bye.