I'm 34 & He's 62 - I Don't Have 'Daddy Issues' | LOVE DON'T JUDGE
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Alan and Jessica are in an age gap relationship, they have 28 years between them. Jessica is 34 and Alan is 62. They met just over 10 years ago through a mutual friend at a party. When they first met, they never discussed ages so were not aware of an age gap. Jessica was not attracted to him at first, but really liked him as a person. After she started to intervene with his style and dress sense she started to feel an attraction grow and decided that she wanted to be with him. “I always say Alan fell in love, and I walked in love”. 9 months after meeting, Alan proposed. Due to the process being so quick, a lot of friends and family didn’t agree with them being together and didn’t show up to the wedding. Jessica knew from that day that the only way people would take them seriously was if they were to stay together and they did just that. They just celebrated their 10th anniversary. When Alan first met Jessica’s dad (also called Alan) it was extremely awkward, Jessica blames it on him going through a bad time at the time, but it probably had something to do with Alan being the same age as him and also having the same name! He even went as far as saying his own daughter has daddy issues! Alan (Jessica’s dad) has now come round to the idea of the relationship a bit more. In this episode of Love Don’t Judge we hear Alan and Jessica discuss the relationship with Jessica’s dad.
Socials:
https://www.instagram.com/jessicazirk/
https://www.tiktok.com/@jessicazirk
Videographer: Adams Wood
Producers: Yasmin Walker, Kate Moore
Editor: Reuben Yarwood
Alan and Jessica are in an age gap relationship, they have 28 years between them. Jessica is 34 and Alan is 62. They met just over 10 years ago through a mutual friend at a party. When they first met, they never discussed ages so were not aware of an age gap. Jessica was not attracted to him at first, but really liked him as a person. After she started to intervene with his style and dress sense she started to feel an attraction grow and decided that she wanted to be with him. “I always say Alan fell in love, and I walked in love”. 9 months after meeting, Alan proposed. Due to the process being so quick, a lot of friends and family didn’t agree with them being together and didn’t show up to the wedding. Jessica knew from that day that the only way people would take them seriously was if they were to stay together and they did just that. They just celebrated their 10th anniversary. When Alan first met Jessica’s dad (also called Alan) it was extremely awkward, Jessica blames it on him going through a bad time at the time, but it probably had something to do with Alan being the same age as him and also having the same name! He even went as far as saying his own daughter has daddy issues! Alan (Jessica’s dad) has now come round to the idea of the relationship a bit more. In this episode of Love Don’t Judge we hear Alan and Jessica discuss the relationship with Jessica’s dad.
Socials:
https://www.instagram.com/jessicazirk/
https://www.tiktok.com/@jessicazirk
Videographer: Adams Wood
Producers: Yasmin Walker, Kate Moore
Editor: Reuben Yarwood
Category
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NewsTranscript
00:00This is Jessica. She fell in love with Alan. They've been judged by sceptical onlookers.
00:07Yuck.
00:08She could be your daughter and ugh, you know, that kind of stuff.
00:11Not only does Alan share the same age as Jessica's dad, he also shares the same name.
00:17My dad has always been daddy and Alan is Alan.
00:20Today they will finally sit down to discuss what Alan really thinks about his son-in-law.
00:25You call and tell me how you've met this great guy. I said, really? What's his name?
00:29Alan.
00:30How old is he?
00:31He's in his 50s.
00:32I said, you've got daddy issues.
00:34Jessica, what do you want me to wear?
00:37Do you like any of these?
00:38No.
00:39These are not good.
00:41I'm Jessica and this is my partner, Alan.
00:44No.
00:45We're not smoking cigars today.
00:47I am 34.
00:49I'm 62.
00:51These?
00:52No.
00:53People judge our relationship because he has the same name and age as my dad.
01:00I like this one.
01:01Okay.
01:02I think my attraction to Alan grew over time as far as physical attraction, but I was attracted
01:11to everything else immediately.
01:14His success, the way he carried himself, the way he was a host, the way he pursued me immediately.
01:22He was a gentleman.
01:23He used to wear cowboy boots and big cowboy buckles and cowboy hats.
01:31He's not a cowboy, so we don't do that.
01:35But I do have the cowboy buckle still.
01:38We refined his look.
01:41Look at this Christmas shirt that she won't let me wear.
01:46I like to call him a zaddy now.
01:48I think he looks age appropriate and handsome.
01:51The hair dye and the style before was aging him.
01:55Which one?
01:56For talking to my dad, this one.
01:58Okay.
01:59I'll set that there.
02:00I'll go change.
02:01Okay.
02:02We met through a mutual friend.
02:05She invited me to Alan's condo to play darts and we started dating immediately after that.
02:13Cheers.
02:15It was like one of those just complete wow factor.
02:21It overcame me.
02:23I realized Alan had the same name as my dad the first night we met and it was comical,
02:28same spelling, but I didn't realize his age until a few weeks into dating.
02:35My dad is coming over today and I'm interested to see what he has to say about my relationship
02:41with Alan.
02:42Within a month of meeting, he told me he loved me.
02:45So I think he was official right away.
02:50Mm-hmm.
02:51Agree.
02:52Here we are.
02:53Mm-hmm.
02:54Twelve years later.
02:55People laugh when they hear that my dad is Alan and Alan is Alan, but my dad has always
03:00been daddy and Alan is Alan.
03:03Sorry.
03:04Ah, but that's true.
03:05You do because I call him dad.
03:06Yeah.
03:07Well, we have kids.
03:08Yeah, I'm mom and he's dad.
03:10Like, go get dad.
03:11Good to see you.
03:12You too.
03:13How you doing?
03:14How you doing?
03:15Good.
03:16So I remember the first time you called me to tell me how you met this great guy and
03:20you think he's the one.
03:22I said, really?
03:23What's his name?
03:24Alan.
03:25Alan, huh?
03:26How old is he?
03:27Oh, in his 50s.
03:29I said, you got daddy issues.
03:31But it's not true.
03:33No, it's not true.
03:35I don't think he has daddy issues at all.
03:37I looked for a man like you, not, like, I feel like...
03:40It just turned out you're the same age and the same name.
03:44Yeah.
03:45Yeah.
03:46That's pretty damn close.
03:47That's literal.
03:48Did you have any concerns when I told you I was dating Alan?
03:52I mean, I've known you dated older men most of your life.
03:57My only concern ever has been that you're happy.
04:00We were the same age.
04:02There's things we could talk about that we went through similarly in the 70s and 80s.
04:08But now he's dating my daughter.
04:10Yeah.
04:11Right.
04:12So it's kind of...
04:13Well, it's awkward.
04:14It's just awkward.
04:15I had to be at the house to explain it.
04:16Right.
04:17But I was never skeptical.
04:18No.
04:19I never had any belief that you were in it for the wrong reason or he was in it for the
04:22wrong reason.
04:23Never.
04:24Well, everything we have, we build together.
04:26Yeah.
04:27Yeah.
04:28But this has all worked out.
04:29Yeah.
04:30She's happy.
04:31He's semi-happy.
04:32Come on.
04:34And it's all good.
04:37He's very happy.
04:38The age gap.
04:39It was a bigger deal for you.
04:41Yeah.
04:42I struggled with it initially.
04:44And I think I had to ask a couple of times how Jessica felt about that age gap.
04:50Okay.
04:51Ready?
04:52I always say that Alan and I are like the perfect yin-yang.
04:56He's really book smart.
04:58I'm more street smart.
05:00We compliment each other.
05:02I'm teaching him still every day.
05:05Urban dictionary.
05:06Oh, yeah.
05:07We did one yesterday.
05:09I didn't even know what a rave was or all sorts of things.
05:12I had no idea.
05:14I put his reactions to things on the internet.
05:18And he has a little fan base.
05:19People are always like, we need more Alan content.
05:22Like old man content.
05:25Just TikTok.
05:26People said, yuck.
05:29Are you willing to have a child with him?
05:30We already have.
05:31We have an 8-year-old daughter together.
05:33I'm too rude for this comment section.
05:36I mean, I think still people will ask somebody that knows us, like, is that for real?
05:43Does she really love him?
05:45Recently we were on a cruise.
05:47And a group of three ladies saw us dancing and saw me kiss her.
05:52And then when I walked away, they gave me like a hard time about it.
05:56Just basically saying, you know, like she could be your daughter and, you know, that kind of stuff.
06:01So that one got under my skin a little bit more.
06:04People may say things behind our back, but not right to our face normally.
06:08The doubts of people pushed us together.
06:12When people said comments like they'll never last, that only motivated us more to prove them wrong.
06:19We were checking into the hospital to have our daughter.
06:23And the woman at the reception more than once, up to three times, was like, and he's your dad?
06:29And we were like, no, no, no.
06:32Like, how many times do we have to tell you?
06:35He's the dad.
06:37It's definitely like an awful feeling.
06:39Like you're in the wrong place.
06:41You're with the wrong person.
06:42And that's what society believes.
06:46You know, and our thought has always been that, you know, ages doesn't matter.
06:50It's, you know, it's what we believe in.
06:52Here we are.
06:54Twelve years later.
06:56Rolling.
06:57Are you about to nap?
06:58No.
06:59The people that were close to us were very inquisitive or, you know, doubtful that it wouldn't last.
07:07Oh yeah, that she was going to cheat right away and she could never be loyal and blah, blah, blah because of the age gap.
07:13We take pride in our relationship and that we have a great healthy marriage and that it doesn't matter.
07:21We've said from the beginning the only way to prove people wrong is to stay together.
07:26So we really like focus on that and us and not other people.
07:31My whole life has changed since meeting Ellen.
07:35I think we've built each other up over the years and are better together than separate.
07:42And it actually works really well.
07:44Never had that before where I just want to be in her space.
07:48She, you know, is such a good mother.
07:50It helps that she's beautiful.
07:52I love her.
07:53She's awesome.