TG Australia S05E08
TG Australia S05E08
Category
🚗
MotorTranscript
00:00Tonight, we try turning cars into cash in the new gig economy.
00:22Whoever makes the most money, wins.
00:24I'm here to pick up a kebab for Christian.
00:27There's a sale at Costco.
00:29A comedian gets serious in a reasonably priced sports car.
00:33Wow.
00:34And it's the Mighty Car Mod Squad.
00:37Yes!
00:38Blair finally lets us into his famous garage.
00:41Come on boys, I'm actually here to help us out of a bind.
00:58Welcome to Talk Gear Australia.
01:02Now, if you're like me and you love driving and you love cash,
01:05there are plenty of side hustles you can do when you're behind the wheel.
01:08We're talking about the gig economy, which we decided to investigate.
01:11Yes, and we were each given five grand to buy a vehicle
01:14versatile enough to make money in multiple ways.
01:17Whoever made the most profit would be the winner.
01:23Sydney.
01:25Australia's most expensive city.
01:28And when it comes to cost of living, this place is top of the class.
01:32In a bad way.
01:36Round here, everyone's got a side hustle.
01:39And to get the gig economy cash flowing my way,
01:42I'd invested my five grand in this.
01:45A 2015 Foton Tumlin.
01:52Yep.
01:53I bought a ute.
01:55See, the thing about being a gig economy operative is
01:58you never know what they're going to ask you to do next.
02:00One minute you could be delivering pizza,
02:02the next you could be chauffeuring a former president around the opera house.
02:05Even looking to dispose of a heavy squirming sack in a canal somewhere.
02:09You've got to be ready for anything.
02:11Which is why the dual cab ute is the right call.
02:15You need to move it, and this bad boy can move anything.
02:18Now, I've got no idea what the other boys are going to bring,
02:21but whatever it is, it's the wrong answer.
02:25Eh, I don't think so.
02:27The trick to turning a profit in the gig economy
02:29is offering your customers pure luxury.
02:33Like this understated, opulent 2007 Audi A6 Quattro.
02:39Oh, here we go. Overdressed and underpaid.
02:44Oh, look at him. Can't drive as well.
02:48You got plenty of room, mate?
02:52Mr Ryan!
02:54Oh, I can see your court date's finally come through.
02:57I've gone up market, my friend.
02:59If you want to make the big bucks,
03:01you've got to make your customers feel special, like royalty.
03:04Take a seat.
03:06This is actually all right.
03:07Mask in the opulence, my friend.
03:09Oh, nice.
03:10It's good, right?
03:11Yeah, not bad.
03:12Yeah, just pop this open.
03:14Oh, what, Mentos?
03:15Mints.
03:16Covered in actual ash from an ash tray.
03:18Really?
03:19Yeah.
03:20That's a used ash tray.
03:21Yeah, but don't worry about that.
03:23Answer me honestly.
03:24Would you rather ride in the back of this
03:27or in the back of your ute?
03:29Definitely in the back of this.
03:30There it is.
03:31Hang on, hang on.
03:32Game over.
03:33Hang on, you're limited.
03:34Your hands are tied,
03:35cos you can only take people in the back of that.
03:37I can get people.
03:39I can get anything in this.
03:40I can get animals.
03:41I can get lions, tigers, bears.
03:43I can move anything around.
03:44You're limited to just human trafficking.
03:47I can traffic humans and animals.
03:49Human transporting is a big difference.
03:52Is it?
03:53Yeah.
03:54Boys!
03:57Exactly.
03:58See, the gig economy is a lot like yoga.
04:01To succeed, you've got to be flexible,
04:04which is why I've gone versatile
04:06with a 2009 Holden Cruise and a postie bike.
04:12Boys!
04:13Oh, here we go.
04:14The gig is up
04:15because I've got the ultimate gig economy set up.
04:17What?
04:18That is a wealthily underpowered piece of junk
04:22towing a postie bike.
04:23Hey, mate, you had five grand to spend,
04:25not buy everything you can on gumtree.
04:27Beau, Beau, Beau,
04:28this is a modular urban transportation system.
04:32It's practical, it's manoeuvrable,
04:34it's compact and it's spacious,
04:36it's dependable and it's speedy.
04:39Uh-huh.
04:40Which part of that arrangement is speedy, exactly?
04:43What's speedy?
04:44Which part is speedy?
04:45Dude, the freaking motorbike.
04:47What are you talking about?
04:48It's a postie bike.
04:49Yeah, we're in the city, dude.
04:50That is the ultimate transport for the city.
04:53But enough about that.
04:54Over here, we've got old, noisy, redundant,
04:56well past its prime.
04:58I'm not pointing at Beau,
04:59I'm pointing at the ute, by the way.
05:00No offence.
05:01And over here, the uninspired choice of an Audi A6
05:04because, let me guess,
05:05you like transmission problems,
05:07oil leaks and electrical faults.
05:10Oh!
05:11Yeah, well, you're showing your ignorance right now
05:13because this is a special eco-version.
05:17An eco-version?
05:18What, it's electric?
05:19Nope.
05:20It's hydrogen?
05:21Nope.
05:22Wind?
05:23Yeah.
05:24How does that even work?
05:25Like the turbines, winds...
05:27I know how wind works,
05:28but what's that got to do with the car?
05:29They make electricity.
05:30Yeah, I thought we were going through forms of electricity.
05:32But we've already established that this is not electric.
05:34Hey, boys, listen up.
05:35Yeah, but I wasn't listening to what you were saying.
05:36Clearly.
05:37Boys, you will spend the day as gig economy drivers
05:41tackling a number of different jobs from different apps.
05:44Whoever makes the most money at the end of the day wins.
05:47Yes!
05:48Good luck.
05:49Grab a phone.
05:51Ooh, that's a hot car.
05:53And, um...
05:54BELL RINGS
05:55..here we go.
05:56There's jobs coming in.
05:57Oh, here we go.
05:58See you on the other side, boys.
06:04Oh, my God.
06:07In our five grand workhorses,
06:09we'd be testing all corners of the driving gig economy
06:12with victory to whoever could turn the biggest profit.
06:16First up, odd jobs.
06:20BELL RINGS
06:21Oh.
06:22Remove spider from our house in Newtown.
06:27Oh, what a gross job.
06:32To say I was excited about my odd job
06:35of removing a spider from someone's house would be lying.
06:39Look, I hate spiders,
06:41but not as much as I hate the Holden Cruze.
06:44I know we're supposed to buy cars we like,
06:46but the Cruze gives me no pleasure at all,
06:49and that's exactly why I chose it.
06:52The Holden Cruze may be the most boring car ever created
06:56and is capable of drawing out from you absolutely zero emotion.
07:01When this car was new, someone wasted $23,000 on it,
07:05but these days you can pick them up for around $4,500.
07:08It'll take you from zero to 100 in ten seconds, apparently,
07:11but I reckon a few ponies have left the yard
07:13because it feels much slower than that.
07:15But, shockingly, this uninspiring 1.8-litre four-cylinder engine
07:19will drag you all the way up to a top speed of 200 kilometres an hour.
07:24Can you imagine going that fast in a Holden Cruze?
07:27No, I cannot either.
07:29But with 139 horsepower, well, it's enough to get you around,
07:33and because I feel absolutely nothing for this car,
07:36it is perfect for this gig economy challenge.
07:42And that's the thing about the gig economy.
07:44Your car's going to become a mobile reservoir
07:47of other people's rubbish and bodily fluids.
07:50The less you care about it, the better.
07:55It's going to be a good day.
07:57I, on the other hand, love my car.
08:00My Audi A6 isn't just quick and lavishly appointed.
08:03It's also a total steal.
08:06I cannot get over that this car only costs 4.5 grand.
08:11There's just so much value in this.
08:14It drives fantastic.
08:16Gobs of power.
08:18Knew it was 220 horsepower.
08:20It's probably a little less than that now, but super smooth.
08:24And it's actually really nice inside.
08:26It's good.
08:29This Audi A6 is business class.
08:32First rule of capitalism, folks.
08:34People pay more for nicer stuff.
08:37Pick up and build cubby house.
08:39Too easy.
08:41Whatever the job, I had the luxury transport of choice.
08:47Speaking of easy, I had been tasked
08:49with picking up and delivering a couch.
08:51It's up there.
08:54Just down nowhere.
08:56Just the job for the mighty Foton Tunland.
09:01This is a 2015 car.
09:03Does 0-100 in 13.5 seconds.
09:06Its top speed is 160 kilometres an hour,
09:09which I don't think anyone has ever got near.
09:12But the key to this car is the Cummins diesel engine.
09:16Now, they are strong and powerful.
09:19I could tow a cruise ship.
09:21A petite cruise ship, admittedly.
09:24Yeah, and it's great.
09:26But my diesel wasn't going to be much help
09:28getting my couch up to the sixth floor.
09:30I needed to recruit some human power.
09:33Hey, mate, Beau.
09:35Look, I'm looking for level six, apartment 202.
09:38Do you know where that is?
09:40It's just over there.
09:41It's over there.
09:42Can you help me?
09:43Yeah.
09:44Awesome.
09:45With the help of my newfound friend,
09:47we'd made it as far as the lifts.
09:49But then...
09:50All right, I'll press the door.
09:52This one?
09:54Hang on.
09:55What's going on with that?
09:56I'm going to have to move this up.
09:58Well, hang on. Level six.
10:00What have you got, stairs?
10:02Clearly, we were going to need more manpower.
10:05Hey.
10:06So, what's your name?
10:07Lucas.
10:08Lucas. Nice to meet you, mate.
10:09My name's Beau.
10:10We're just going to...
10:11The lifts are out.
10:12Do you mind just giving us a hand
10:13just to up a couple of stairs?
10:14I've got to open the door.
10:16Try and get it off the ground.
10:17Are we good, brother?
10:18You got the weight?
10:19Beautiful.
10:20Come on, Jeff, get under there, brother.
10:21Nancy, I've got you.
10:22I'll guide you guys, just in case.
10:24Time to put our backs into it.
10:26Well, their backs.
10:27Great work, bro.
10:29I like your hair, too, mate, the tint.
10:31Looks good.
10:32Keep going, boys.
10:33Anand, you've got to keep your eyes on it, brother.
10:35Don't let it get away from you.
10:36That's what happened to one of my mates.
10:37How many levels are we up?
10:38Six.
10:39Six, all right.
10:40All right, straight in, boys.
10:41Ooh.
10:46Just need a quick signature on this.
10:49Thank you very much, brother.
10:50Beautiful.
10:51Great job.
10:52On the other side of town.
10:55Heavy label.
10:57Yeah.
10:58No shit, Sherlock.
10:59My flat pack cubby house was preparing
11:01to travel business class.
11:04Oh, come on.
11:05It's so close.
11:12And after making a few executive decisions.
11:15Take that corner off.
11:19Once it's built, who cares about the box?
11:23I was on my way.
11:28Perfect.
11:30Hi.
11:31Hi.
11:32Did you order a cubby house?
11:33We did, yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:34Great, I got it here.
11:35Yes, in the gig driving economy, it's
11:37all about having the right tool for the job.
11:40Speaking of which, you wouldn't happen to have any tools,
11:42would you?
11:44That's the smallest screwdriver I've ever seen.
11:50OK.
11:51We need walls.
11:53We've got to make walls.
11:56Oh, shit.
11:57Doesn't make any sense.
11:59It's got to be the other one.
12:01OK.
12:06Oh, I've got another job.
12:09Oh, all right.
12:11That should be good.
12:13Eventually, the cubby house was up, and she was perfect.
12:16Ish.
12:18All right, let's go.
12:19Let's go.
12:20Let's go.
12:21Let's go.
12:22Let's go.
12:23Let's go.
12:24Let's go.
12:25Let's go.
12:26Let's go.
12:27Let's go.
12:28Let's go.
12:29All right, that's it.
12:30If you could give me five.
12:32Is this finished, though?
12:34Yeah.
12:35Uh-huh.
12:36I mean, the kids are going to love it.
12:38OK.
12:40Thank you.
12:46All right, here we go.
12:48Oh, it does look spidery.
12:51OK.
12:52On the other side of town, Spider-Man
12:54was about to unleash his superpowers.
12:57I saw on the app that there's a spider.
12:59Big spider problem, yeah.
13:01You need a professional.
13:02I don't love spiders, and I'm not a professional.
13:04Great.
13:05Here you go.
13:06And you know where it is?
13:07I think it went that way.
13:10I think it's gone.
13:12Oh, f**k me.
13:14Oh, my god.
13:15That's feral.
13:17I mean, oh, that is feral.
13:21Can I use some of this?
13:22Yeah.
13:23Oh, it's gone.
13:24Oh, it's f**king gone.
13:27It's gone.
13:28I'm sorry, it's gone.
13:29Where did it go?
13:30I don't know.
13:31Where did it go?
13:32It's actually gone.
13:33I'm sorry.
13:34I reckon I'll give you a refund via the app.
13:35I don't think I can actually...
13:38Is there someone else we can call?
13:40I'm so sorry.
13:41You've got to help us out here.
13:42I'm so sorry.
13:44Just try.
13:45We'll give you a tip.
13:46A really big tip.
13:47My clients were right.
13:48I had to rise up or risk losing what was left of my dignity.
13:52And even worse, losing my tip.
13:56The knife.
13:59Hello, mate.
14:00How are you doing?
14:05Yes.
14:06Oh, yes.
14:07Okay.
14:08Oh, my god.
14:09Thank you very much.
14:10Thank you.
14:11And I'm just going to...
14:13Friends are hard to find and impossible to forget.
14:16All right.
14:17Thank you.
14:19Tip in the bag.
14:21Dignity in tatters.
14:23Time for my next task.
14:27All right.
14:29Okay, next one.
14:31Pizza delivery.
14:33With all Sydney's odd jobs completed,
14:37next we'd be dipping our wheels into the world of food delivery.
14:48Hello.
14:49How are you?
14:50I'm here to pick up a kebab for Christian.
14:53Five minutes.
14:55As they say in the catering trade,
14:57never deliver to a customer what you wouldn't eat yourself.
15:00Can I just try a little bit? Just a little bit?
15:02They don't really.
15:03I just made that up.
15:04But, hey, I was peckish.
15:05What else you got?
15:06Oh, yeah, some cheese, mate.
15:07Just a little bit of cheese.
15:08Oh, beautiful.
15:09Spicy.
15:10Beautiful.
15:11Oh, it's spicy.
15:12I'm just going to try it just to make sure, you know what I mean?
15:15Because I don't want to try it before you buy.
15:17You know what I mean?
15:20Now, when you've got gourmet cuisine like this to deliver,
15:23you don't want it sitting around in a bag for hours getting cold.
15:27Speed is everything.
15:29Really appreciate it. Good job.
15:31Well done. See you next time, man.
15:35Let's go, little postie. Let's go!
15:38Having ditched the cruise and fired up the postie...
15:41Thank you.
15:42..I was already racking up the meal drops.
15:45And that's because food is what this postie bike was made to deliver.
15:49Well, that and post.
15:52This is the way to travel, my friend.
15:54Don't underestimate this little Honda.
15:56No, it's not fast.
15:57In fact, it's very, very slow.
16:00But it's also nimble.
16:02And that's the key to victory here.
16:07Oh, pitch out, traffic.
16:14Oh, my God, the traffic is killing me.
16:23Whoo-hoo!
16:28So what can I tell you about this awesome little bike?
16:31They've been around forever.
16:33And in Australia, they're used to deliver the post.
16:36You can pick them up for just a few hundred bucks.
16:39105cc engine.
16:41And they make around 7 horsepower.
16:44Zero to 100, well, it's not possible.
16:47Because they only do 80 kilometres an hour.
16:50Maybe 85 if you get down like this.
16:55It doesn't seem like it's that fast.
16:57But it's enough to keep up with traffic.
16:59And when the lights go red,
17:01I can filter through the middle of them.
17:04So while those two sit in traffic...
17:08Oh, man, I really need to pee.
17:13..I'm making progress and cold, hard cash.
17:17Hey, let's go.
17:21With a posty bike, hot food delivery is guaranteed.
17:27I appear to be having a couple of mechanical issues with my bike.
17:30Yeah, something's not right.
17:32Almost guaranteed.
17:34Yep. Oh, I'm dead. I'm dead.
17:36Sorry. Sorry.
17:38I've actually died.
17:40All right.
17:42Luckily, I could get off the road and try and see what's going on.
17:46Choke's on.
17:49Fuel is on.
17:51I've definitely got fuel.
17:53Do I?
17:55Oh, I'm out of fuel.
17:57I'm out of fuel, people.
17:59Oh, man.
18:01I need to go get some fuel.
18:03And I think there is a petrol station just...
18:06There's a petrol station right there.
18:08All right.
18:10But if you're delivering food and you really want to beat the traffic,
18:14you don't need a posty bike.
18:16Stand by. Lunch is on the way.
18:18You need some blue-sky thinking.
18:20Which is why I brought this.
18:24My very own delivery drone.
18:28I know the budget was 5K,
18:30but there was nothing in the rules about using what you already have at home.
18:34Okay.
18:36CHOIR SINGS
18:42Not only does it save you time driving and parking,
18:46but that sushi's having more fun than it did when it was alive.
18:51With this, I can make more deliveries in the course of the day,
18:54which means more cash, which means beating those two idiots,
18:57which means...
18:59Well, that means everything, really, doesn't it?
19:03Turns out my delivery was to a boat in the marina.
19:06Mate.
19:07A yacht and a kebab.
19:09Mate.
19:10This dude was living the dream.
19:12Christian!
19:14Christian, I got you a kebab!
19:16Christian!
19:18It might be down there.
19:20And though it turns out yachts don't have addresses...
19:24Christian. Are you Christian?
19:26..I finally tracked down the kebab-loving captain.
19:29I got you a kebab.
19:31Thank you, sir.
19:32Right here, it says that Grant ordered four eggplants.
19:35In the middle of town, I was back in the game and also soaking wet.
19:40All right, I got my pizzas in the back.
19:42I'm in the rain.
19:44I'm still having a great time.
19:46I still stand by that this is the best way to get around town.
19:50Here we go.
19:52One stone-cold, soggy pizza successfully delivered.
19:56Hello, how are you?
19:58Awesome, thank you. If you could leave a tip.
20:00So, with our second set of tasks completed
20:03and our tips surely piling up in the bank,
20:05I'm going to win this challenge.
20:07It was time to reveal my Audi's ultimate money-saving hack.
20:13This car's diesel engine can run on old cooking oil.
20:17That means free fuel, pure profit, and guaranteed victory.
20:21I had this one in the bag.
20:31Now, we've been trying to hide something from you guys,
20:34but I think it's time we told you the truth.
20:36We did not take the gig economy job just to reveal it.
20:39Mm-mm-mm. We are broke.
20:41In fact, the producers told us we burned
20:43almost the entire budget two episodes ago.
20:45Yes, they did.
20:46They said no more going up the Colombian mountains
20:48to get coffee beans.
20:49Yeah, no more racing powerboats in Monaco.
20:51No, no, no, and definitely no more
20:53crashing supercars on volcanoes.
20:55No, no, no.
20:56They said the next story we do
20:58has to be done for peanuts.
21:00Luckily, we knew a peanut.
21:01We do.
21:02Yeah.
21:03An expert making epic car videos on a budget,
21:06our very own resident YouTuber, Blair Jocelyn.
21:12So, with no money and one last film to make,
21:15we arrived at Blair's garage,
21:17where the low-rent magic happens.
21:20Wow.
21:21Wow.
21:22It's not what I expected.
21:23What did you expect?
21:24It's impressive.
21:25Kind of like a mum's basement sort of set-up.
21:29Come on, boys.
21:30I'm actually here to help us out of a bind.
21:32I'm actually experienced making cheap car stuff on a budget,
21:35and that's why we're here.
21:36Awesome.
21:37That's how we're going to do it.
21:39And if you're looking for cheap, realistic ideas,
21:41you can always rely on the brains trust of Bo and JLP
21:45to totally miss the point.
21:47The rocket. Uh-huh.
21:48We've got the Tesla here. Yeah.
21:50As soon as we hit the detonator,
21:52use the power.
21:54Straight into orbit.
21:55Wait a second.
21:56What if we put the Tesla inside the rocket and then blow it?
21:59Hey, boys.
22:00We're not sending a Tesla into space.
22:02Huh?
22:03We don't have money for Teslas or rockets.
22:05Here's the thing, boys. Listen up for a second.
22:07We've got to ask a question,
22:08and then with the video we make, that answers the question.
22:11So we need the question.
22:15What would win in a fight out of a polar bear and a crocodile?
22:19That's a really great question.
22:20Saltwater croc.
22:21A saltwater croc.
22:22I've been wondering about that.
22:23Female.
22:24Female.
22:25One of the big ones.
22:26Yeah, but what would they be fighting on?
22:27Because they have, like, different turf, right?
22:28That's the thing.
22:29On ice, obviously.
22:30No, no, boys.
22:31It's a question about cars.
22:32Come back to me on it.
22:34Think about it, Bob.
22:35Then come back to me.
22:36Actually, I do have one.
22:38Mm-hmm.
22:39Colin Chapman.
22:40You know Colin Chapman.
22:41Lotus.
22:42Founder of the Lotus Sports Car Company.
22:43He had a famous maxim about achieving motoring perfection,
22:46and that was simplify and then add lightness.
22:49Mm-hmm.
22:51But was he right?
22:52Will that actually increase performance under all circumstances?
22:57What was the answer, though?
22:59Well, that's why we're going to make a video on that.
23:02It was an excellent question,
23:05possibly already answered very effectively
23:07by Colin Chapman and Lotus over the last 70 years.
23:10But, hey, it sounded like a film.
23:12Are we in?
23:13And also, it sounded cheap.
23:15Polar bear on three.
23:16One, two, three.
23:17Polar bear!
23:19I still reckon the croc would get it, though, if it was saltwater.
23:22And as quick as you can Google dirt-cheap cars for scrap,
23:25we had our guinea pigs.
23:27We got two Toyota Corollas.
23:29Exactly the same in every way,
23:31but both of the cars have gone through the weighbridge
23:33and they've come in at 1,130 kilos.
23:37But not for long with this one
23:39because this car is about to go through an extreme crash diet.
23:43We're going to remove everything
23:45and these two cars are going to go head-to-head.
23:48Now for the science bit.
23:50Alright, first big piece about to come off.
23:57Yes!
23:59Who took my floor hammer?
24:01Here, here, here.
24:03Boys, try not to touch each other's tools.
24:11Oh, shit, that's not the right size.
24:13That's not good.
24:16Be careful there, that's the fuel tank.
24:19Actually, I reckon step out for a little bit,
24:21just take a little breather.
24:22That's the fuel tank?
24:23Yeah, and that's metal on metal.
24:25And that's sparks.
24:26Yeah, I reckon just step out for a bit.
24:28Now, to keep us all safe from the biggest tool in the shed,
24:32we gave Beau the only suitable job left.
24:35Whoa!
24:36Don't do it, man.
24:37Bro, what are you talking about? There's fire.
24:38No fire. I'll tell you if there's a fire.
24:40I can see there's fire.
24:41No, no, they're sparks. You're meant to see them.
24:43OK.
24:48Oh, there's a fire here. Come over here.
24:50Spray it up there.
24:51Yep, that's enough.
24:53Thank you.
24:54Stay calm.
24:55Stay there, stay. I'm not watching out.
24:57Oh, shit.
24:59Then with Beau's quick wits saving us all from being burned alive
25:03and everything removed from the car that wasn't essential for it to function,
25:06including the roof...
25:07Whoa, whoa, one little bit.
25:08Careful.
25:09Don't get rough with it.
25:10..it was time to stick our stripped-out parts on the scales
25:13and find out exactly how many kilos we'd saved.
25:16That is 25 kilos.
25:1815 on the nose for that one.
25:22Right, where do we go?
25:2325, 43, 59, 87, 102...
25:27Yes, in the most dangerous part of our experiment so far,
25:30Beau Ryan appeared to be attempting mental arithmetic.
25:34Stand well cleared.
25:36173, 174...
25:39I know, weird.
25:40Like finding out your dog plays chess.
25:43206, 239, 253, 263, 281, 286.
25:52I'm just going to check it on a calculator quickly.
25:54I hope that's right.
25:56Otherwise I'm going to...
25:58He's right.
25:59It's 286 kilos.
26:02That is phenomenal.
26:04With our minds adequately blown...
26:06Did you add that up?
26:07Yeah.
26:08..we had our final weight loss figure.
26:10We've gone from 1,130 kilos minus 286 kilos.
26:16We're at 844 kilos, pretty much the weight of a Lotus.
26:21Wow.
26:22Well done.
26:23Let's hit the racetrack then, boys.
26:27Sydney Motorsport Park, hell yeah!
26:29Yeah, how good? When are we getting on the track?
26:31Well, the track's back that way, right?
26:34Hang on, isn't this the car park area?
26:37It is the car park area, boys, but actually worse than that,
26:40we're using the overflow area behind the dragway.
26:43What?
26:44Yeah, Sydney Motorsport Park car park overflow area.
26:48That's pretty shit.
26:50Oh, the handbrake doesn't work.
26:53Shitty handbrake.
26:56All right, boys, welcome to the car park,
26:58or as it shall be known today, the Top Gear testing ground.
27:01So what we want to see is what the effect of removing
27:04286 kilograms has on the performance and agility of these cars.
27:09OK, but who's going to drive what?
27:11Because we each have a different weight,
27:13so that's going to affect the tests.
27:14Great question.
27:15That's a good point.
27:16What do you weigh?
27:1779.
27:18I'm like 85.
27:19I'm 77.
27:20I'm the lightest.
27:21All right, so you two are most similar in weight,
27:23so you two should drive.
27:25And that, I think, makes scientific sense.
27:27Yes, I should be in that because I'm the lightest.
27:29He's not 85.
27:30No, he's not.
27:31I did think of this in advance.
27:32We're going to have to add a couple of kilos to your car
27:35so that you guys are the same.
27:36You get no weight, but you get an extra two kilos,
27:39so now you're the same.
27:4079, 79.
27:42And then the first test today, we're going to do a go-to-woe.
27:44So basically, you'll accelerate from zero to 70,
27:47then put the brakes on as hard as you can,
27:49and then whoever stops in the shortest distance,
27:51we crown that car the winner of the first test.
27:53Yes!
27:54So here we go, the showdown, the big one.
27:57Corolla versus three-quarters of a Corolla?
28:02Come on, Corolla.
28:05You can do it.
28:12That is a win for the car with less weight.
28:15Felt all right. Was it fast?
28:17It looked pretty fast.
28:18Oh, it felt fast.
28:20Next up, a test of grip.
28:22Which is going to be a G-force test.
28:24So basically, we're going to be checking
28:26how much lateral G-force you can get
28:29by taking the cars round and round like this.
28:32To do this, we borrowed a can of spray paint from Beau's kid,
28:35along with some used rope he had in his boot
28:38and a G-force meter.
28:40I have a more important question.
28:42This is the G-force circle.
28:44Yes.
28:45So I'm in the middle, right?
28:47Yeah.
28:48Does that make this the G spot?
28:49Um...
28:51I don't know, Beau.
28:54Are you finished?
28:55Yeah.
28:56All right, here we go.
28:59Let's go, bro. Let's get the G-force going.
29:01What have we got?
29:02Two...
29:03One point...
29:04Whoa!
29:05Bro, he's on three wheels.
29:06Yeah, he's tripodting.
29:070.4, 0.5.
29:09Can we get 0.6?
29:11That's pretty fast, mate.
29:13Whoa! 0.7!
29:18Wow.
29:19That was pretty good.
29:20How are you feeling?
29:22Not good.
29:23Come out.
29:24Oh, he's going to be sick.
29:25What did you get?
29:270.7.
29:280.7?
29:290.7.
29:30Yeah.
29:31Is that honestly how bad it is?
29:32Oh!
29:33He can have a yacht.
29:34Let's go get in the other car, mate.
29:35Oh!
29:37I didn't know if he was putting it on,
29:38because he's a great actor.
29:39Has he had any work recently?
29:41He hasn't worked for about 25 years.
29:440.7 G's the number to beat.
29:46Let's go, Beau!
29:52Why is it going so slow?
29:54Come on, Beau. Send it.
29:59Whoa!
30:03Is that it?
30:04Did mine look like that?
30:06Yours looked way faster.
30:09All right.
30:10How did you go, mate?
30:11I think it got to 1.1 G.
30:13It definitely didn't do that.
30:15Are you serious?
30:16No, that's no way it did that.
30:18What?
30:191.1 G?
30:201.1 G?
30:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:22That's...
30:23Did you mess with it?
30:24I did 1.1 G.
30:26The stats don't lie.
30:28Oh, you know what he did?
30:29Because it's a lighter car.
30:30You know what he did?
30:31He took the phone, and he went like this,
30:33and then he popped it back in.
30:34I didn't touch the phone.
30:35It's illegal.
30:36Can I borrow your helmet?
30:37Huh?
30:38Is this all right?
30:39Sorry?
30:40All right, stand back.
30:41What's happened?
30:42Oh, no, yeah, you take over.
30:43I didn't trust him.
30:44I needed to check this out for myself.
30:45Good luck, bud.
30:46You've got to beat 1.1.
30:47No pressure.
30:50He's already off the track.
30:51Oh, he's on, actually.
30:52He's driving well.
30:53He's driving very well.
30:56Wow.
30:57That was fast.
30:58Yeah.
30:59Is he happy with that?
31:01Um, Beau was right.
31:03It's 1.1.
31:04No way!
31:05Yeah, I know.
31:06I'm sorry I doubted you, but it is, um...
31:08I mean, I got 1.2.
31:09It's not a competition, but he did get 1.1.
31:12Yeah.
31:13Really?
31:14Yeah.
31:15Victory to the lightweight Corolla,
31:16and also to me,
31:17because I got a bigger G-Force number than Beau.
31:19Naturally.
31:21All right, this is the final test.
31:22We've got a circuit set up here, a little racetrack.
31:25We'll time it scientifically.
31:27Let's go.
31:28With this stopwatch.
31:29Yes.
31:30All right.
31:31We're going in three, two, one.
31:33Let's go!
31:36I'm hearing tires squeal already, which is great.
31:40Okay.
31:42Through the gate.
31:43Let's get through that gate.
31:45All right, here he is.
31:46Tight race.
31:48Whoa, on the grass!
31:52Oh, let's go, let's go!
31:55Yes!
31:57All right, people, we've come in at 49.89 seconds.
32:02That is our control time.
32:04We decided JLP should drive both cars.
32:07For scientific accuracy, of course.
32:09And, well, geez, it was fun watching him do all the work.
32:13You good?
32:14Let's go.
32:15We're going in three, two, one.
32:17Go!
32:19Yeah, good take-off.
32:21Yeah.
32:24All right.
32:25Nah, this feels fast.
32:26There it is.
32:27Tripod.
32:28See that?
32:29Yeah, yeah.
32:30Three wheels on the ground.
32:31On tripod.
32:32Ooh!
32:3330 seconds.
32:34He's moving.
32:35Wow, he's coming.
32:36He's coming over here.
32:37He's coming in hot.
32:39Here he comes.
32:40Oh, that's wide.
32:41That's very wide.
32:42Stop!
32:43Oh!
32:4746.59 seconds.
32:50Wow!
32:51That's amazing.
32:54Well done, mate.
32:5546!
32:5646.59 seconds.
32:57Damn!
32:58Great driving.
32:59Good job.
33:00We approved that Colin Chapman was right.
33:02So there was really no point asking that question.
33:05This whole thing was a waste of time, but I had fun.
33:07I had fun, too.
33:08And with that, we'd reached a conclusion.
33:11That a stripped-out, totally not road-legal car
33:15is faster than a regular car.
33:17I know.
33:18Just pop the Nobel Prize in the post.
33:20You know what I'm thinking, Beau, though?
33:22Because both cars still work,
33:24I reckon there's one more little bonus test we could do.
33:27What is it?
33:28A little...
33:29Sumo.
33:30A little sumo.
33:31Oh, yes!
33:33All right, all right, Jeds.
33:35Come together, nice and easy.
33:37Bring it in.
33:38OK.
33:40On three.
33:41Two, one, go!
33:49Oh, Beau!
33:51There you go!
33:52Yes!
33:56Keep going, keep going, keep going!
33:59Oh!
34:02Oh, my Lord.
34:05Well done, Beau.
34:06Well done.
34:07Well done.
34:08When the rubber started hitting me in the face,
34:10I thought I was in trouble.
34:12It also looks like your car's on fire and mine's not.
34:14Should we get out of here just before this?
34:16I think so.
34:18That's a big mess.
34:19That's a big mess.
34:21Your hair looks so beautiful.
34:22Your hair did look good.
34:23I thought you were Tom Cruise.
34:24He's a bit shorter than Tom Cruise.
34:30So there it is.
34:31One win for the full-fat Corolla.
34:33But, of course, Colin Chapman was right.
34:35Strip a car of its excess weight
34:37and it's just going to make it faster and more agile.
34:39Yep, and the next episode of Stating the Bloody Obvious
34:42will no doubt occur again next time we run out of cash
34:45with important investigations such as
34:47is it good or bad to fill your fuel tank with sand?
34:51And does removing your car's wheels affect your performance?
34:54But you know what?
34:55Here's the thing.
34:56If you've got a light car,
34:57you don't need a whole lot of power to have fun.
34:59And considering everything we put these cars through,
35:01these Toyotas did really well, man.
35:03Yeah, they smashed it.
35:04So you don't want one?
35:05No.
35:06Me neither.
35:07All right, let's hear it for the Corolla.
35:12It's now time to put a star in a reasonably priced car.
35:15Now, our next guest is a South African Kiwi comedian
35:18who, unfortunately, can't be here in the flesh tonight
35:21because she's filming a movie in New York.
35:23However, my cousin saw her this morning
35:26having breakfast in North Sydney.
35:28So, zooming in from North Sydney,
35:31here's comedian Ursula Carlson.
35:36Oh, hello, Ursula.
35:39Hey, mate. How's it going?
35:40Yeah, it's going good. How are you going, mate?
35:43Yeah, I'm good.
35:44You know, just filming, working, hustling.
35:47Now, you are a very, very funny woman.
35:50What I want to know straight up, who makes you laugh?
35:53Just basic stuff, you know, people falling over,
35:56even Mr Bean, Wanda Sykes, Nazeem.
35:59Anyone who can laugh at themselves makes me laugh.
36:02Now, you're very popular.
36:04Everyone loves you. I love you. I've made that clear.
36:06Australia loves you, South Africa, everyone loves you.
36:08You're a global star.
36:09But a lot of the comedians are worried about you.
36:11They said you can drive anything. Is that true?
36:13Have you driven all different types of transport?
36:15You can drive what, trucks, buses? What do you drive?
36:17Yep, that's 100%.
36:18I honestly, cos I grew up on a farm,
36:20so if there's a steering mechanism and a starter,
36:23I can get in it and I can drive it.
36:25Anything, a tractor, a truck, a motorbike,
36:27you name it and I'll drive it.
36:29So, I mean, you burn a few clutches in your life,
36:31but, you know, you move through that and you figure it out.
36:34Now, talking about burnt clutches and things breaking down,
36:37can you put stuff back together?
36:38Cos I'm a genius under the bonnet.
36:40As soon as the hood comes up, that's when I do my best work.
36:42I roll the sleeves up.
36:44How do you go under the bonnet?
36:46Look, I'm pretty good, not going to lie.
36:49I think it's a benefit of growing up really poor.
36:52Like, if anything broke or the wheels started falling off,
36:54we had to fix it ourselves.
36:56But my sister runs out of petrol at least once a week.
36:59We got to meet a lot of strangers on the motorway
37:01giving us lifts to the petrol station.
37:04My sister married one of them.
37:06Hey, Gary.
37:08Now, we're going to get onto your lap, right?
37:10Yeah, OK.
37:11We got a few comedians on our leaderboard so far in our lap times.
37:15They're sitting in the middle.
37:16We got Nazeem Hussain, we got Jamal.
37:19They've both got pretty good times.
37:22Are they the ones you're competing against for the laps
37:24or do you want to take the title?
37:26Look, I mean, obviously, in a perfect world, I'm going to be on top.
37:29I should be taking the title.
37:31Yeah, yeah.
37:32But I must beat Nazeem.
37:34Mainly cos he drives like a total pussy.
37:36Are we allowed to say that?
37:37Yeah, he actually is a pussy.
37:39You can say that.
37:41Because if I don't beat him, I'll be so disappointed.
37:44Where do you think you sit?
37:46Just 112, just above Nazeem.
37:48As long as my arse is firmly on top of his head, I'm happy.
37:52All right, is everyone here ready to see the lap?
37:57All right, let's roll the tape.
37:58Let's see Ursula Carlson take on the Top Gear track.
38:01Here we go.
38:06And she's off.
38:09There's a sale at Costco.
38:15Bit early on the brakes there,
38:16you might need to buy some bravery pills at Costco.
38:22But now some nice late braking down into the loop.
38:25Woo-hoo, she's sliding.
38:28Not really that much sliding going on,
38:30but a good line into the corner.
38:33Nice and tight at the apex of turn three there.
38:35Sets up a good run for you through the sweeper.
38:39Right on line, all the way through there.
38:42The Stig would be proud.
38:43If the Stig were capable of emotions, of course.
38:46This is how fast you go from work when you need to poop.
38:54Well, Snake Valley is the place
38:55where we see a lot of the stars lose time,
38:57but maybe they didn't, you know, need to do number two.
39:00No one's doing nothing for my chipmunk chicks.
39:04On the rev limiter down the canyon,
39:06who needs third gear anyway, hey?
39:10And very good car placement through a canyon on the run-up
39:14into the last corner.
39:19And opting for the tighter line coming off the last corner
39:22onto the final straight.
39:24And Ursula Carlson across the line.
39:27Wow.
39:29Good job, Urs.
39:31Good job.
39:32OK, you ready for your time?
39:34Here we go. Yeah.
39:36Ursula Carlson,
39:37you want to beat Nazeem Hussain on one minute and 13.3.
39:41Your time is...
39:43..one minute...
39:45..and 13...
39:49..point five!
39:50No! No!
39:52I'm never going to live this shit down!
39:55Little bit of...
39:57Oh, wow, that hurts just under Nazeem.
40:00That hurts a lot because I think he drove an automatic.
40:03I'm going to find him a f***-mup.
40:06Thank you so much for your time.
40:08You are a superstar. We love you.
40:10Ursula Carlson!
40:14Thank you.
40:17Now, earlier in the show,
40:19the producers threw us in the deep end of the gig economy
40:22and it was sink or swim,
40:24but the three of us very cleverly decided to drive.
40:27Now, each of us had a different vehicle,
40:29but the same goal, to make as much money as possible.
40:34After a tough few hours at the cold face of Sydney's gig economy,
40:38we met up for a quick...
40:40..refuel.
40:42Boys, I don't know what your morning was like,
40:44but this gig economy is kicking my arse.
40:46Yeah.
40:47My motorbike broke down. Really?
40:49I ended up pushing it up Cleveland Street,
40:51then it rained on me, but with all that said,
40:55I still claim that this combination of vehicles is still the best,
40:59I still claim that this combination of vehicles is still the best,
41:03Swiss Army Knife of gig economy transportation.
41:06You know, I have to admit,
41:07I was jealous this afternoon when I was stuck in traffic.
41:10I was thinking about your motorcycle.
41:12Swiss Army Knife. Hang on, hang on.
41:14Swiss Army Knife? Yeah.
41:16As in the ultimate tool? Is that what you're trying to say?
41:18It is. That's what I said.
41:19But everyone talks about Swiss Army Knife
41:21like it's the best tool for the job.
41:23Like the ultimate tool. How is it? Think about it.
41:25You get a builder to come over and put a roof on.
41:27Yeah.
41:28He's not using a Swiss Army Knife.
41:29Say something happens to your toilet, like a plumber comes over.
41:32They can't use a Swiss Army Knife.
41:34It's a rubbish tool. It's like a waste of a tool.
41:37The Swiss Army Knife has like 20 different things on it.
41:40Despite this fascinating intellectual conversation,
41:44it was time to show Plato and Aristotle here
41:47exactly how I was going to win this gig economy challenge.
41:51By eliminating my costs and increasing my profit margin
41:55with totally free fuel.
41:57I've got a knife and a spoon and a corkscrew and a can opener.
42:00Gentlemen. Toothpick.
42:02Time to witness the genius of my eco-friendly Audi.
42:10Boro, can you give me a hand here?
42:12Hang on, what are you doing?
42:13There you go. Hang on, what is that?
42:15Used chip oil.
42:17Good for the environment and good for the wallet.
42:20He's literally putting it in. This is real. This isn't a joke.
42:23Yeah, yeah. I mean, this car's diesel, so you can run a biofuel on it.
42:26But normally you kind of got to go through a process
42:28where you refine it, clean it.
42:31Like it has to go through a chemical process,
42:33which this has not gone through.
42:34You can't do that. What are you talking about?
42:35That's what I mean.
42:36Well, he's mixing it with diesel, so I mean...
42:37Yeah, what do you mean?
42:38He shakes it with a bit of diesel, it's fine.
42:39Mate, look at that. How is that fine?
42:42I know. It's confusing.
42:44We'd finally found the foodstuff that Bo wouldn't eat.
42:47But he had to concede.
42:49My chip oil mess added up.
42:52And the gig economy is about making money, right?
42:54Yep.
42:55So far, I've spent zero on fuel costs.
42:58And my fuel costs?
42:59I'm using around one and a half litres per hundred,
43:01so the worst car to have really in this scenario is a big ute.
43:06I really got to listen more.
43:08I can't believe he's doing this.
43:10All right, boys.
43:11And with the Audi's tailpipe now pumping out pure profit
43:15and the faint smell of fried haddock,
43:17it was time to get this show back on the road.
43:21Next up in our gig economy challenge, ride-sharing.
43:27And the joy of ride-sharing is,
43:29you never know who might jump on board.
43:31Hey!
43:32Oh, my gosh!
43:33Whoa!
43:34Carla!
43:35People you already know.
43:36Hey, Carla, how are you?
43:37Oh, bro, good to see you.
43:38I haven't seen you for ages.
43:40People who already know you...
43:42Jeds?
43:43J-L-P!
43:45Carla's hired to be a lion!
43:48And it's all with a totally ridiculous amount of luggage.
43:52See?
43:54This is why I'm lucky I got a trailer.
43:56Because there is no way this would have fit otherwise.
44:01Oh, man.
44:04OK, where are they?
44:05Cara.
44:07More passengers means more cash.
44:10And I was already on to my second ride-sharing job of the night.
44:14Oh, hello!
44:15Hi, how are you?
44:16Good, thanks.
44:17Cara?
44:18Yes?
44:19OK, jump in.
44:20Mine's a big step.
44:21Oh, it is a big step.
44:22Yeah, well...
44:23It had been 45 minutes since I'd last eaten and I was starving.
44:26But, ever the professional, I decided not to mention it.
44:29So yous are out tonight?
44:30Yous are all dolled up?
44:31You guys look great.
44:32We went to dinner.
44:33Oh, you've already been to dinner?
44:34We've already been.
44:35Did you order dinner and then not eat at all?
44:37Or did you order too much?
44:38What happened?
44:39We ordered too much.
44:40Oh.
44:41So much food, we didn't eat at all.
44:42OK.
44:43But we always take leftovers because Cara has a dog.
44:46Oh, yeah.
44:47And whenever we buy steak or any kind of delicious meat,
44:50we always make sure that I take some home for my dog.
44:53For your dog.
44:54Beautiful.
44:55How much did you bring home?
44:56Like, how much did you get?
44:57Oh, like six pieces of steak.
44:58Quite a bit.
45:01The beef was very big.
45:02It was very big.
45:03Yeah.
45:04It was $100 worth.
45:05Really?
45:06Yeah.
45:07And there was no way I was going to be beaten by that dog.
45:10So you're going to feed a $100 steak,
45:12but you also have the option to give dog food, you know what I mean?
45:15Because they give you so much.
45:16They do.
45:17Yeah.
45:18No, I feel you.
45:19And it's because I've been working, like, it's late.
45:21I was going to say, I think you want our leftovers.
45:23No, no, the whole thing is just maybe like a little bit of steak.
45:27Just a tiny little bit of steak or something.
45:29OK.
45:30Just fantastic.
45:31Please pick a little bit of steak out.
45:32I mean, if you're twisting my arm.
45:34This one, thank you.
45:35Oh, my gosh.
45:36That is beautiful.
45:37It's missing the sauce.
45:38I know it's missing the sauce.
45:39Did they not put the sauce in there?
45:40But it's too messy.
45:41Oh, my God.
45:42It's really good, though.
45:43What is that seasoning?
45:44It's really good, isn't it?
45:45It's one of the best things I've ever eaten in my life.
45:47And your dog's going to eat that?
45:48Yes.
45:49While Beau was having the time of his life,
45:52I was beginning to question my decision making.
45:56I really wish I didn't.
45:58Oh, what's that?
46:02Now I've got some weird beeping sound.
46:09Mmm.
46:15Maybe I was just a little too enthusiastic with the chip oil.
46:21Across town, I was racking up the passengers and the cash.
46:25I used to do a ride share before.
46:27Oh, did you?
46:28Yeah.
46:29And picking up a few pointers along the way.
46:32I really love it, mate.
46:33And I love talking to people.
46:35I didn't tell you about this.
46:37I did pick up a drunk lady, and I think she was trying to hit on me.
46:43Oh, right.
46:44Okay.
46:45That's why you didn't tell me about it.
46:46Awkward.
46:48Oh, mate, there was one time I picked up, I'm not shitting you,
46:52an adult actress, adult movie actress.
46:56A porn star.
46:57A porn star, mate.
46:58Also awkward.
47:00I'm not kidding.
47:01Is this your wife next to you?
47:03Yes.
47:04So we've got the drunk lady and the porn star.
47:07You've got to be careful with your stories, man.
47:09Moving swiftly on.
47:11So if I want to make it in this kind of gig economy world,
47:14being that you've done it before, have you got some tips for me?
47:16Number one, show up on time.
47:19Okay.
47:20Number two, keep your car clean.
47:21That's it.
47:22I mean, like, you know, just maybe tidy, dust off, stuff like that.
47:26What about tips for offering yummy lollies?
47:30Oh, yeah, that would work as well.
47:31The lollies?
47:32Yeah, thank you.
47:33Probably should have told them I found those lollies in the car
47:36when I bought it.
47:38Oh, well, another couple of satisfied customers.
47:41All right.
47:42Very nice to meet you.
47:43Thank you very much.
47:44Thank you.
47:45See you later.
47:46Oh, what a day.
47:47The little Holden cruise surprisingly did great.
47:50Meanwhile in the ute, I wasn't feeding my customers.
47:53They were feeding me.
47:55Do you want a little prawn cracker?
47:56Is that all right?
47:57You've got to put the rice on it, babe.
47:58Yeah, hang on.
47:59Is that all right?
48:00I'll just make a little bit of...
48:01Put a little bit of mastic around it.
48:02Oh, wow.
48:05Oh, this is the noodles.
48:06Let me give you some.
48:07Oh, my gosh, yeah.
48:08It's duck noodles.
48:09Yes, I love duck.
48:10Oh, here.
48:11Oh, what have you got?
48:12Hang on.
48:13This is so funny.
48:14OK, OK.
48:15I don't want to feed you.
48:16Your wife might shout at me.
48:20Yeah, well, it looks like that dog was going hungry tonight.
48:25Unfortunately, this ride is over, girls, because we're out there...
48:27I will give you a five-star review.
48:29Thank you so much for the food.
48:30You're so generous.
48:32A ride in a luxury ute, great conversation,
48:35and a whole lot less heavy food to carry home at the other end.
48:39Yep, it had been those ladies' lucky night.
48:43Meanwhile, I was discovering my car was less a fan of saturated fats than Beau was.
48:50OK.
48:53Engine light is still on.
48:58It's just not that happy on the chip oil, if I'm going to be perfectly honest.
49:04Even though the Audi's arteries were clogging with cholesterol,
49:07I was on my last fare of the night.
49:09It only had to survive a few more Ks.
49:13I'm so excited to go out, girls.
49:17Hopefully, my passengers wouldn't notice.
49:24Smells like fish in here, though.
49:26Yeah.
49:27It's like chips.
49:28Chips or fish.
49:29They noticed.
49:30OK.
49:31Fish and chips.
49:32I thought I'm the only one who can actually smell it, but luckily you said it.
49:35I don't really want to sound rude, but I'm not too sure what is it.
49:38Yeah.
49:39What's going on, Jonathan?
49:41OK.
49:43This car runs on biofuel.
49:46Earlier today, I did fill it up with some used chip oil,
49:51and that's probably what you're smelling.
49:54Not good for the passengers.
49:56Zero star.
49:57Can you please open the window?
49:58Yeah.
49:59Right side as well.
50:00Thank you, Jonathan.
50:02Is that better?
50:03Yeah.
50:04The oily Audi was getting more and more unwell,
50:07but I was determined not to let it spoil my passengers' business class experience.
50:19Oh, my God.
50:20What's happening?
50:22Jonathan.
50:24Are you good?
50:25Yeah, it's fine.
50:27It's all good.
50:29I'm going to get you there.
50:30Are you sure about that?
50:31Are you sure?
50:32Yep.
50:33It's all good.
50:34Whoa.
50:35And then the sickly limo suffered cardiac arrest.
50:40Oh, Jonathan.
50:41Oh.
50:43What's going on, Jonathan?
50:45Can you just...
50:46Something with the...
50:47Yeah.
50:48Can you just be careful?
50:49Yeah.
50:51It's going to be fine.
50:53It's going to be fine?
50:54Yeah.
50:55Sorry about this.
50:56Oh, my God.
50:57Can we just go down, please, please?
50:58Say what's that?
50:59Can you pull over?
51:00Okay.
51:01Yeah.
51:02Oh.
51:03Jonathan, please, please, please.
51:06We're almost there.
51:08It's okay, it's okay.
51:09Just stop, just stop.
51:10Stop.
51:11Just stop.
51:12Thank you.
51:13I'm so sorry, guys.
51:14But you know what?
51:15You're only like...
51:16It's only a nine-minute walk.
51:18But, you know, if you could give me a five-star review,
51:20that would be...
51:22I'll think about it.
51:23Okay.
51:24Four, even four.
51:26One, maybe.
51:28What?
51:29So there you have it.
51:31Want to succeed in the gig-driving economy?
51:33Don't fuel your car with what you find
51:35in the bins of your local burger joint.
51:37Just saying.
51:39Bloody chip oil.
51:42APPLAUSE
51:48All right, people, we put in the hard yards,
51:50so it's time to see how we went now with Odd Jobs.
51:53Bo, thanks to your ute, you made 280 bucks.
51:57Yes!
51:58Now, I made $200,
52:01and, JLP, you made 250.
52:04Yeah, that cubby house was tough.
52:06It was tough to put that together.
52:07Now, let's get into the food delivery.
52:09Bo, you made 27 bucks, mate.
52:12Ah, yeah.
52:14Now, me, because I'm on a motorcycle,
52:16let's hear it for motorcycles.
52:18Thank you very much.
52:20If a postie bike can be classed as a motorcycle,
52:23I made 52 bucks.
52:25JLP, you only made 20 bucks.
52:27What's going on there, mate?
52:28I don't know. That was a drone delivery, too.
52:30Okay.
52:32All right, let's get to the ride share.
52:34So, Bo, you made $115.
52:37Yes!
52:38I made $96.
52:40Yes!
52:41And, JLP, in the classy Audi,
52:43you made yourself 121 bucks.
52:46Well done.
52:47That's what happens when you wear a suit.
52:48Well done.
52:52All right.
52:53So, I'm going to add up the totals.
52:55Bo, you made $422.
53:00Yes!
53:01Okay, I haven't put our numbers on there yet.
53:04So, just don't get too excited yet.
53:06I made $348.
53:11It's looking good, brother.
53:13And, JLP, you made $391.
53:21Yes!
53:25Yes!
53:26Well done.
53:27Thank you.
53:29Bo.
53:30Yes.
53:31Have you ever run a business?
53:33Of course not.
53:34Okay.
53:35Because you also have expenses.
53:36Yes!
53:37No, that's a bad thing.
53:38Oh.
53:39Okay.
53:40And, in our case, our expenses were fuel.
53:42So...
53:43Oh, no, no, no.
53:44Your fuel cost 45 bucks because you're in a big ute.
53:47So, your total was $377.
53:52Yes.
53:53My total, after $22 of expenses, was $326.
54:00Come on, come on.
54:01And, JLP's expenses, because he used chip oil for free,
54:06he had no expenses, which means he made $391.
54:10Yes!
54:13Well done.
54:14King of the gig economy.
54:15Thank you.
54:16Thank you.
54:17Thank you.
54:18Now, before you all rush out and put chip oil in your car,
54:22please do your research.
54:23You do not want to gum up your engine.
54:25Otherwise, you could end up with an $80,000 chip fryer in your driveway.
54:28Oh.
54:29All right, that's all we have time for, and that's it for this series.
54:32We had an absolute ball making this show,
54:34and we will see you next time.
54:35Thank you for watching Top Gear Australia.
54:37Oh, yeah!
54:38And good night!
54:39Oh, yeah!
54:40Yeah!
54:59Oh, yeah!
55:00Oh, yeah!
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55:56Oh, yeah!