• 4 months ago
Transcript
00:00Whoa, what's wrong, buddy? I haven't seen you this upset since the end of Toy Story 3.
00:14The MTV network has cancelled Dancing with America's Next Top Housewife, its most popular
00:21reality series. The show, which assembles the worst people from every other reality
00:27show, has become an embarrassment to the network and to America in general.
00:32Hmm, maybe you could write a letter asking them to put the show back on the air.
00:39Wow, that was fast. Let me take a look.
00:48This isn't bad, but it could benefit from the proper use of parallel structure.
00:53Which is pretty convenient, because we just got a letter on that very topic.
00:57Dear Tim and Moby, My teacher is making me practice parallelism
01:02in writing. What can you tell me about it, and what is
01:05its purpose? From Lolo.
01:08Parallel structure is when you repeat a particular pattern of words within a single sentence.
01:14It's an example of a rhetorical device, a technique authors use to make their writing
01:18clearer, stronger, and more persuasive. Let's take a look at the beginning of your
01:22letter. You write,
01:25Empty V broke our hearts when it cancelled Dancing with America's Next Top Housewife.
01:30I know its viewers are angry and you have ruined the whole summer.
01:35Let's try rephrasing that in parallel structure.
01:38Empty V broke our hearts, ruined our summer, and angered its loyal viewers.
01:44See how that sentence is tighter and clearer than your original?
01:47Right, I see how you've tried to use parallel structure in places, but you've sort of done
01:54it wrong. Like here, you write that
01:57Dancing is funny, exciting, and entertainment. When you write in parallel structure, all
02:03the parts of speech in the list have to match. Funny and exciting are both adjectives, but
02:08entertainment is a noun. So the sentence is grammatically incorrect.
02:13Instead, it should be funny, exciting, and entertaining.
02:20Okay, let's move down here. You write that
02:22Benny loves to style his hair, to do laundry, and work out at the gym. If you use a word
02:29like to to introduce a series, you only have to use it once.
02:34The same thing goes for articles like the and a, and possessive pronouns like his, her,
02:40and their. So you can change it to
02:42Benny loves to style his hair, do laundry, and work out at the gym.
02:48Or you can use the word all three times. You could say
02:50Benny cares a lot about his hair, his muscles, and his clothing.
02:56So use it three times, or use it once. Just don't use it twice, or you'll be arrested
03:00by the grammar police.
03:03Moving along. Over here, you write that
03:05Tommy promised Tammy he never called or talks to other girls.
03:11When you're using parallel structure to list verbs like call and talk, they all have to
03:15be in the same tense and form. Here, call is in the past tense, but talk is in the present
03:22tense. It has to be one or the other. Either he never called or talked to other girls,
03:28or he never calls or talks to other girls. See?
03:34Excellent.
03:36Now down here, you write Tammy yelled at Tommy, but she was ignored by him. Yelled
03:42is an active voice verb, while was ignored is in the passive voice.
03:47That's another no-no. Sentences are clearer when all the verbs are in the same voice.
03:53In this case, active voice sounds better. Tammy yelled at Tommy, but he ignored her.
03:59Now this is where it starts to get tricky. You see this sentence?
04:02Pookie loves not only to go shopping, but also coleslaw and drinking fruit punch.
04:09I know what you're trying to say, but your word choice needs to be consistent.
04:13So you could say, Pookie loves not only going shopping, but also eating coleslaw and drinking
04:19fruit punch. In this case, you're using verbs to describe the things that Pookie loves to
04:23do. Or you could abandon the verbs altogether and say, Pookie not only loves shopping, but
04:29also coleslaw and fruit punch. This way, all the things she loves are nouns. Capiche?
04:36Great. Now fix those mistakes and we'll send it to the MTV network right away.
04:47You got a letter back from MTV already?
04:52Dear Mr. Moby, since we decided to cancel Dancing with America's Next Top Housewife,
04:59we have received thousands of angry letters. Yours, however, displayed a mastery of the
05:04English language rarely seen among our fans. With this in mind, we have decided to keep
05:11dancing on the air in order to provide programming that appeals to the educated, discerning audience
05:19that we've been trying to reach for decades. Educated. Intellectual. Dancing with America's
05:25Next Top Housewife is like the dumbest thing on TV. All those people do is act stupid and
05:30fight with each other.
05:32Hey, we got a circumstance over here.
05:37Oh no, he didn't.