Ezra (2023)

Short Drama 4U

Ezra is a 2023 American comedy drama film directed by Tony Goldwyn and written by Tony Spiridakis. It stars Bobby Cannavale, Rose Byrne, Vera Farmiga, Whoopi Goldberg, Rainn Wilson, Tony Goldwyn, William Fitzgerald, and Robert De Niro.

Transcript

00:00:30It's right, it's right, that's nice, you guys get me, that's good, most people don't get

00:00:59me, you know. Nobody's direct anymore, you notice this? Everybody's got like a secret

00:01:05language, it's like code for what they really want to say. Like the doctor who first told

00:01:11me my son was autistic, you know, he says to me, he says, you know, the autistic mind

00:01:15is wired in brilliant and revolutionary ways. I said, oh yeah? How so? Because, you know,

00:01:24my son didn't speak, didn't speak at all for years, communicated only in grunts, growls

00:01:31and ear-piercing screams. And then when he finally started speaking, he wouldn't shut

00:01:43up. It's true, he wouldn't, he wouldn't, you know, that doctor could have saved us both

00:01:48a lot of time if he just said the truth. Just stop those bitches and show them who's boss.

00:01:54The kids don't give a fuck, man. They don't. Say my name. They don't. Say my name.

00:02:08You look good. How's work? Good. When did Esther see Breaking Bad? We binged it last weekend.

00:02:17Maybe we should be a little more careful. What do you mean? It's been reading the New

00:02:24York Times since he's five. Can he handle Walter White? Thank you for coming in. Hi.

00:02:28Hi, Jenna. Hi. Max, you both know Dr. Tamadova? Mm-hmm. Ezra, will you stay with Anthony?

00:02:38Hi. Hi, Ms. Kapplerow. What's happening? Why is Ezra not with the rest of the class? He's

00:02:44really been acting out today. I have other students who want to learn who count on me

00:02:47to keep him safe. I'm getting so tired of this shit. Max, please. No, you know that

00:02:51he's bullied here, right? Yeah, maybe he was trying to make that vicious little kid laugh.

00:02:56Ezzy came home with a bloody lip last week. Anybody get expelled for that? I've spoken

00:02:59to that boy's parents as well. Right, but Ezzy's the bad one. No, no, Ezra is not bad,

00:03:03but today he was a danger to himself and others. There it is, there it is, the secret language.

00:03:08I was waiting for it. Max. Huh? Max, stop. You can't expel him. He's been working very,

00:03:19very hard, and yes, he has had his bad days, but he's also met a lot of the goals that

00:03:25you set for him. Ms. Lee, please, you can't drop him. Max, this autism shit, it's depressing.

00:03:34You can talk about whatever you want if you give us a reason to want to listen, and I

00:03:37want to listen. I think my cousin's autistic, but it's got to be fun. See, it's science.

00:03:42It's comedy on it, not a funeral parlor. Huh. What is this, a fucking intervention? I disagree.

00:03:47You need to go deeper, further, make a whole set out of it. Yeah, well, make a whole evening

00:03:51out of it. You know, disabilities with Max. Well, I'm not telling jokes. I'm storytelling.

00:03:55I know you're not telling jokes, but you got to make it funny. Sad stories, Jackie. You

00:03:58should see his sad stories. Oh, I've seen them plenty. Her voice is not complete. How

00:04:02is he dark and sexy? Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to tell you, I loved your son.

00:04:06That's insane. There you go. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm Susan. Can I buy you a drink?

00:04:10I'd save the dough. This guy is in mourning. Hey. Are you crying? Come on. I'll call you.

00:04:29Really? No. He cried, didn't he? That's his kid. My grandson. You hungry? I'll fix you

00:04:58something to eat. It's a bigger number than we discussed, but it's exactly the neighborhood

00:05:11that you wanted. Listen, there are multiple bits, so I think we have to come in above

00:05:17the ass. I wish that wasn't the case, but unfortunately, it's still a seller's market.

00:05:44Where'd you get this shirt from? Cut it out. It's not your shirt. You sure it's not my

00:05:50shirt? No, I'm sure. Enrico moved to the Ritz. My building is still a union house, and there's

00:06:00an opening now, so I want you to consider that. Yeah, okay. I'm not going to be a doorman,

00:06:06Pop. Thank you. There's nothing wrong with being a doorman, and a man your age shouldn't

00:06:10be living with his father. They're expelling him. Expel Dez. You want me to put him in

00:06:18a special needs school? None of it's special. It's all bullshit. Yeah, there it is. They're

00:06:23recommending drugs. Put him in a gym and let him work off that special sauce, but you got

00:06:30to keep fighting. Yeah, keep fighting. You know how much that's costing me? I'm paying

00:06:34for her lawyer. I'm paying for my lawyer. Jenna knows I'm broke. Can I have a fork,

00:06:37please? She knows you're still not over her, too. Just cut it out already, all right? Give

00:06:40me a break. Come on. Okay, who cries after fucking a stranger? That's crazy. You got

00:06:46to move on, Jenna. Believe me, I know what it's like to fuck things up with a woman and

00:06:49to get stuck with a kid on top of it. Want coffee? Yeah, what am I, new here? I'll take

00:06:55a coffee. Tell me something good, Jane. I have something really, really good. I'm not

00:07:04doing it. I write for me now. Come here. For me. Come here. I'm not sitting on your lap.

00:07:09I got something to tell you. Come on. You don't want me to get up. No one's going to

00:07:16hire me in late night anymore. Conan fucking blackballed me. Well, you punched him in the

00:07:21balls. Well, I was aiming for his stomach. He's so fucking tall. Why are you so crazy?

00:07:29Listen, Robert Siegel has heard great things about you. Robert Siegel, what? Kimmel's

00:07:35booker? He wants to see you down at the cellar tonight. No, I can't. I can't do it tonight.

00:07:39I'm taking Ezzie to the Big Lebowski tribute, and we're going to dress up like the characters,

00:07:43we're going to throw shit at the screen. It's going to be awesome. That's all cute, but

00:07:46not tonight. I can't. I can't let the dude down. You want to do something for your son?

00:07:50You get Mr. Siegel to book you on Mr. Kimmel. Okay. Ready? I'm getting the costume.

00:07:59Okay, this is cozy.

00:08:04This is going to be itchy.

00:08:16You look so cute.

00:08:19Sorry, sorry, sorry.

00:08:25Sorry, Ezzie. It's okay.

00:08:49I got it, honey. Wow, look at you. So, a lawyer walks into a bar-

00:09:02Don't do that, Bryce. It's Bruce.

00:09:04Ezzie! Ezzie!

00:09:06And you're Jesus, the bowler, right? It's Jesus, man.

00:09:09Jesus. I've not seen the movie.

00:09:11No, it's been a while. Oh, and here's the Big Lebowski.

00:09:13I'm not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the dude.

00:09:17Well, not yet, you're not. Let's see. Now you're the dude.

00:09:22Let me see. Just in case.

00:09:26Okay. He's with me. He's not going to have meltdown.

00:09:28Sure. Well, we'll be back by nine, so just the movie and straight home. Promise?

00:09:33Yeah, I promise. Okay.

00:09:35Okay. Okay. Straight home, guys.

00:09:38Yeah, you too. Okay? Have fun.

00:09:40All right. He didn't like my joke.

00:09:48Oh, my God.

00:09:56What's up, buddy? Jack, Jack, Jacqueline.

00:09:59What's up, Matt? I'm going to go get changed.

00:10:01Hey, Ezra. Hi.

00:10:03Have you been to a costume ball that I love?

00:10:05No. Big Lebowski. 7 p.m. show.

00:10:07Oh, great movie. Love it.

00:10:10I'll have a white Russian. Virgin white Russian for the dude.

00:10:14Actually, pineapple juice. I'll have pineapple juice.

00:10:24You make me think of pirates.

00:10:26Really? That's weird.

00:10:28Yes. Even though the pirate accent is typically West Country English.

00:10:34Yar. The Irish are fine pirates.

00:10:39Oh, drop the lobe. Drop the lobe.

00:10:42Max is stoned, everyone. Max is stoned.

00:10:45Really, dude?

00:10:47I don't know if any of you guys are in an interracial relationship.

00:10:50I'm in one. My girlfriend's Puerto Rican.

00:10:52Yes, thank you. I appreciate that.

00:10:54Okay. See the guy over there with glasses? That's him.

00:10:57Okay. I need my Ezzy mojo. Okay?

00:10:59You ready with my good luck charm?

00:11:01Find me a more unhappy human being.

00:11:04Depressing. Why would I do that?

00:11:07Don't be so literal, Ezzy. Come on. Let's go.

00:11:10Every time my dad interacts with a gay person, he calls me.

00:11:13Every interaction, doesn't matter how small it is.

00:11:16He called me the other day. He was like, Emma, I was just at the grocery store.

00:11:19And I looked over and I saw a lesbian.

00:11:21And I was like, that's great. How did you know she was a lesbian?

00:11:24And he said, well, she looked like you. Goodbye, honey.

00:11:27Okay. You guys ready for your next comic?

00:11:29Give me the mojo. Give me the mojo.

00:11:32Bring him up. One of my personal favorites.

00:11:34He was a writer for some of the biggest names in the business.

00:11:37Now he writes for himself. Clap it up for my buddy, Max Brunel.

00:11:40Love you, Max.

00:11:46That's Emma Willman. Give it up.

00:11:50How we feeling?

00:11:52Take it easy. I don't really care.

00:11:55My son is here tonight. That's right. My son is here tonight.

00:12:00Dying of shame.

00:12:02Stand up and take the wig off, Ez.

00:12:04Stop talking about me.

00:12:07Okay. I didn't expect that.

00:12:09You know, try to have a little respect, okay, Ez?

00:12:12I'm up here humiliating myself to give you a better life.

00:12:15All right?

00:12:17I'm good to you, you little prick.

00:12:19Not like my old man.

00:12:21That's right. Pop Pop.

00:12:23That's the last time you'll speak, by the way.

00:12:25Pop Pop. That's actually the perfect name for my old man.

00:12:28Pop Pop.

00:12:30It's like two gunshots. One to the head, one to the heart.

00:12:32Pop Pop.

00:12:34Let me tell you a little bit about my old man.

00:12:36This guy, you know, he was one of the top gourmet chefs

00:12:39in New York City back in the day.

00:12:41Worked at all the top restaurants. It's true.

00:12:43Every one of which he got shit-canned from

00:12:46because nobody could stand working with him.

00:12:48I mean, the guy got driven out of town,

00:12:50and the only place he could find a job as a chef

00:12:52was at a steakhouse in Nebraska.

00:12:55That's right.

00:12:57You know, cuisine in Nebraska, man,

00:13:00there isn't any.

00:13:02You know what I mean? You kill it, they grill it,

00:13:04you get a Michelin tire.

00:13:06So, I'm five years old.

00:13:08I'm living in Nebraska. It's my birthday party.

00:13:10And, you know, it's a lot of pressure.

00:13:12I mean, you know, I got these fat farmer's kids staring at me.

00:13:15I'm the only thing standing between them and the cake.

00:13:17So, you know.

00:13:19Paper mache bib.

00:13:21It's 1980, so, you know, everything I'm wearing

00:13:23is made out of napalm.

00:13:25I bend down, blow out my candles.

00:13:27I'm about to do it when I hear my pop say,

00:13:29Blow out your fucking candles, Max!

00:13:32I flinch.

00:13:34I fall forward.

00:13:36Candle lights me up.

00:13:38I light up like a fucking road flare.

00:13:40I'm telling you, I am on fire.

00:13:42My old man, he grabs his Dr. Pepper.

00:13:44He puts me out like a campfire and says,

00:13:46You want some cake, Maxie?

00:13:49I says, No, Pop.

00:13:51I want my eyebrows back!

00:13:54Thanks, kid.

00:13:58I'm gonna go kill my son.

00:14:00Hey, I think it's great that you memorized my set.

00:14:03You can't be stepping on my punchline, buddy.

00:14:05I can't let the train go off the rails.

00:14:07Okay, Ez, here comes Mr. Happy now, okay?

00:14:10Just whatever you're thinking, don't say it, okay?

00:14:13Please.

00:14:14Good set.

00:14:15Thank you.

00:14:16I think I'll book your kid.

00:14:17Ha!

00:14:18You're still not funny, Bob.

00:14:19Ezzie, meet Mr. Siegel.

00:14:21Bob, this is my son Ezra.

00:14:22So, um, next week a producer comes in

00:14:24to see you and Sal Argento.

00:14:26All right.

00:14:27And then one of you is doing the Kimmel Show in Los Angeles.

00:14:30Mr. Siegel, are you sad because you're bald?

00:14:34He's dark.

00:14:36Like his daddy.

00:14:38Get your best stuff together, Max.

00:14:40Okay.

00:14:41All right? You're gonna need it.

00:14:42All right. All right.

00:14:44Sad and bald?

00:14:46That's you not talking?

00:14:48I was just asking a question.

00:14:50Okay.

00:14:51Come on, let's get out of here before your mother kills me.

00:14:53I'm sorry.

00:14:54I'm sorry.

00:15:01Mom?

00:15:10Okay.

00:15:11Ah!

00:15:12Snug as a bug in a rug.

00:15:18Okay.

00:15:19All right. All right.

00:15:20I won't do that.

00:15:24Hey.

00:15:25I had a good time, right?

00:15:27Just one more.

00:15:28Ah!

00:15:29All right. All right.

00:15:30Hey.

00:15:31I love you.

00:15:33Good night.

00:15:40Who says autistic kids can't communicate?

00:15:42Get out of my room and I'm out.

00:15:44Yeah.

00:15:45The best communicator in the world.

00:15:47You can use a sensory brush next time.

00:15:49No, no, no.

00:15:50The brushing thing is your thing.

00:15:52What is he, an alpaca?

00:15:53He did a set at the cellar,

00:15:55and you promised me you wouldn't.

00:15:57You're driving me crazy.

00:15:58I'm sorry, okay?

00:15:59A guy from Kimmel came to see me,

00:16:01and I needed my good luck charm, right?

00:16:04You know me.

00:16:05I need a mojo man.

00:16:06Did you read Dr. Tamarone's assessment?

00:16:11Look at you.

00:16:12You are so pretty.

00:16:13Come on, give me a kiss.

00:16:14Brad's gone already.

00:16:15Stop it.

00:16:16It's Bruce, and he's in the kitchen.

00:16:19Brian is in my kitchen?

00:16:21Hi, Max.

00:16:22You know, he's never gonna belong in our house.

00:16:24Max, this is my house.

00:16:25Did you read it?

00:16:27I think I read it.

00:16:28I read it, yes.

00:16:29Yeah, well, it was a mugging.

00:16:30They just want him out of there.

00:16:31Board of Ed will pay for him

00:16:32to go to a special-needs school.

00:16:33Why does it need a special school?

00:16:35Max, he led 20 kids onto Washington Street.

00:16:37It was incredibly dangerous.

00:16:39Okay, but he's not dangerous.

00:16:40He's a challenge.

00:16:42Nobody wants to do the fucking work.

00:16:44The work?

00:16:45The work.

00:16:46All I do is work.

00:16:47You come here, you play dress-ups,

00:16:48you take him to a comedy club,

00:16:49bring him home at midnight.

00:16:50Okay, that's not what I meant, okay?

00:16:51Look, we're on the same team, Jen.

00:16:53You know how he thinks.

00:16:54I know how he thinks.

00:16:55He just needs to be seen, Jen, you know,

00:16:57and heard and appreciated for what he has to offer.

00:17:02Yes, yes, but he also needs to be able

00:17:04to give us a hug without screaming.

00:17:08It's an opportunity, Max.

00:17:10He'll be with trained teachers and aides

00:17:13and a school built for him,

00:17:15how he needs to learn.

00:17:17No bullies.

00:17:20He'll be with kids just like him.

00:17:25Nice.

00:17:26Kids like him, huh?

00:17:27Okay.

00:17:28This isn't what I meant.

00:17:29You know what?

00:17:30I know what you meant.

00:17:31Here's the thing.

00:17:32I'm a kid like him,

00:17:33and kids like us, you know what we need?

00:17:35To be with all kinds of kids.

00:17:36So, no, I will not accept her recommendation,

00:17:38fucking ever.

00:17:41You all right?

00:17:43No.

00:17:45It never fails.

00:17:47Every time we get close to something

00:17:48that might actually work,

00:17:49Max has to blow it up.

00:17:51This is the third school

00:17:52that Ed has been expelled from.

00:17:54There's no other options.

00:17:55What am I supposed to do?

00:17:57Well, you know what?

00:17:59I don't know.

00:18:00I don't know.

00:18:01I don't know.

00:18:02I don't know.

00:18:03I don't know.

00:18:04I don't know.

00:18:05I don't know.

00:18:06I don't know.

00:18:07I don't know.

00:18:08I don't know.

00:18:09Well, I could get rid of Max for you.

00:18:12Oh, you would do that for me?

00:18:13Yeah, I'm a lawyer.

00:18:14I have no moral compass.

00:18:15Besides, I know what that is.

00:18:17They call him Jameera Hatcher.

00:18:19Bang, bang, bitches.

00:18:21Cut off his head and feed him to the fishes.

00:18:23Go, go, go, go.

00:18:36Rhina, Rhina, get down!

00:18:37Get down!

00:18:38Rhina, Rhina, what are you doing?

00:18:39Sylvia, thank god!

00:18:51It won't be too much longer, sweetie,

00:18:52too much longer sweetie but you scared the hell out of me honey why'd you sneak

00:19:00out of the house like that mm-hmm please don't do that ever say you'll

00:19:05never do that I won't ever do that mr. Moosey I saw you run on the street and a

00:19:12taxi came out and then we hit you I mean you could have been dog tried to bite me

00:19:16I had to get away from his teeth hey Jen you're almost ready for him

00:19:20okay hey dad's here hey buddy hey you okay what's going on what happened 14th

00:19:33Street viaduct Manhattan Avenue what three blocks in the park hey I know I

00:19:38know you know where pop-up lives sorry don't be sorry okay just tell me what

00:19:42no I'm not mad okay I'm not mad okay you know what yeah I'm a little bit mad

00:19:47eyes eyes Ezzie what are you doing running outside

00:19:59Ezra Bernal they need to run some tests maybe a test what tests like x-rays

00:20:06psych evaluation hey where you going hey no thanks

00:20:12he got hit by a cab what is there a problem yeah we need to see a doctor

00:20:17please I'm dr. Kaplan oh okay we'd hey stop sir you need to let the man do his

00:20:23job yeah right here buddy don't worry about I'm gonna sort this out in a

00:20:29minute okay

00:20:42they made me draw pictures stuck lights in my eyes and asked me questions what

00:20:56kind of questions they asked me if mom or dad ever tried to hit me if I'd ever

00:21:03tried to hurt myself okay I'm sorry they ask you that kind of stuff I think I

00:21:12make me live somewhere else like in a hospital no they can't you have family

00:21:23and they have to answer to us so that's not gonna happen okay next move you sure

00:21:31you want to do that oh yeah oh you had to do that didn't you

00:21:38huh hi thank you for your patience I know it's been a long night I have some

00:21:48good news we are going to send Ezra home this morning but because of his age and

00:21:54because a witness saw him run in front of a cab that's bullshit I know this is

00:22:02traumatic but I'm doing what the law says I must do Ezra is technically a

00:22:06ward of the state you don't have that right legally he does actually let's

00:22:10just hear the doctor Ezra has a history of fleeing and putting himself in

00:22:14danger now I'm not going to put him into a

00:22:17pediatric psych ward but I am going to require him to attend a school for

00:22:21special needs and I would like to try a prescription for risperdal

00:22:26risperdal is an antipsychotic your son has been a danger to himself he has not

00:22:31died that happened just let him finish we are going to revisit this in three

00:22:37months but right now risperdal is the correct medication

00:22:47max no no I just got a lot of risperdal here what does the drug companies give

00:22:54you for pushing this on kids how you get a free fucking day now I see where the

00:22:59dangerous behavior comes from I'm not doing that max I got dr. Wells to drop

00:23:13the assault charge but you got to go with the program fuck that guy he's a

00:23:15drug dealer he's in control is what he is of the special ed school the

00:23:20medications all of it and what about the restraining order three months you

00:23:31can't go near Ezra I'm sorry it's the judge's decision I can probably get it

00:23:37down to a month if you use the behavior card fuck those cards he pisses on those

00:23:41you wanna go home or you want to spend another night in here it's up to you

00:23:51you

00:24:01must have been humiliating being rescued by your wife's boyfriend stop talking

00:24:05he's obsessed with this retard crap hey what's wrong with you huh nobody says

00:24:11retard anymore okay nobody say it again okay I won't say it

00:24:18no it's a felony having this a lot of bullshit serve my country have a right

00:24:23to have food you serve food

00:24:28I had no choice now they're telling me I can't see Ezra I got no say in what

00:24:34drugs they're gonna give him what school they're gonna put him in what the

00:24:40you got anything to say cut you out good she didn't do this she didn't have to I

00:24:50just picked up a prison what are you talking about that's it that's the best

00:24:53you got what am I gonna say you're Russian blind you'd knocked on your ass

00:24:56you can't control your own power than what the hell you have nothing is the

00:24:59guy who knocked out a customer because his steak was overcooked that was a

00:25:02perfect steak you see now there it is there's my twisted moral compass

00:25:06whatever's right yeah maybe if that were true would still be in Nebraska I'd

00:25:09still have a mother what do you think

00:25:16I'm sorry right I just I didn't mean to bring that up fucking guy says to me hey

00:25:21stupid there's no blood on my plate I say hey I'm sorry and I punch him in the

00:25:24face I say now there is blood on your plate talking about I'm talking about my

00:25:27mother now what now you're gonna start blaming everything that's wrong with you

00:25:31and your life on me and your mother get the fuck out of here and you know what

00:25:34you're fucking asshole you learn how to fucking cook a steak

00:25:41got it

00:25:50good job

00:25:56do you really think you should wear the dinosaur costume on your first date in

00:26:00the school hmm hey it's gonna be great there's gonna be all these new kids and

00:26:07you're gonna find the nicest ones

00:26:13hey that's right

00:27:00you know I was thinking about a recent game we used to play when I was a kid

00:27:17remember musical chairs like a room full of pharmaceutical executives I was

00:27:28thinking about this game well you know what the catch is if you got a dozen

00:27:31kids you only got 11 chairs so who doesn't get a chair fuck you you're out

00:27:40yeah it's brutal it's brutal I mean these kids they turn into savages man

00:27:46bite each other kick each other they poke each other's eyes out let's say

00:27:54this game what do they even call it musical chairs there's nothing remotely

00:27:59musical about musical chairs man it's like it's like the original squid game

00:28:07you know I just I got out of prison a couple days ago it's a true story thank

00:28:12you thank you you know I put in some hard time tough is 14 hours of my life

00:28:20but yeah this doctor doctor fucking doctor tried to push some drugs on my

00:28:30kid so you know I had to knock him out and they threw me in jail but they

00:28:37offered me a deal if I let them give my son the same drugs they give to the

00:28:44criminally insane they drop all the charges so I did the deal my son needed

00:29:00me to go to bat for him and I sold him right the fuck out

00:29:20are you what are you doing you had a spot you need to get back here I'm not

00:29:25coming back I really want you to fly really high I really do but you have got

00:29:33to stop bombing the runway you know the bit I did about the Mads Inez is all

00:29:38true right okay fine then come back and tell them but you got to come back here

00:29:43and they'll understand listen camel loves kids so do I

00:29:55you

00:30:07hey we did that drill down the fire escape you want to do it again

00:30:19okay trust me buddy oh yeah I got a nice bed for you back here as I got your

00:30:26Star Wars pillow I got snacks this is gonna be fun hey what are you doing what

00:30:33do you do don't worry about it go back in the house what do you mean don't

00:30:36don't worry about it you're not taking the car just having a little father-son

00:30:39time taking the car for you are you crazy what are you doing listen to me

00:30:55okay I saw him at that school I saw him on those drugs they were killing him I

00:30:58need to get him away from here doing it wrong what the hell way to God stop okay

00:31:03just stop can't you told me to fight him fighting come on let's get in the car

00:31:06running what are you doing not running as we're getting the car okay it's okay

00:31:10I got some waffles for you no there's no waffles get in the car

00:31:14some fresh whipped cream stop it please listen good family with the Rice Krispie

00:31:19boys he snapped your crackling who am I that's right and we're not fighting we're

00:31:24just barring so show me what you got oh that's it right and oh right knock out

00:31:30good job come on in the car come on let's go come on the mistake let's go

00:31:35okay I was gonna hold the fort down right pop-up where are you taking him

00:31:41going to Knicks in Michigan Jesus that Greek prick of all fucking people stop

00:31:46it he's my best friend that guy's just a fucking thief I take him into my house

00:31:49he steals from me steal anything you didn't steal your saucepan I'm not

00:31:52stealing your clothes nobody's stealing anything okay you're making a mistake

00:31:58please we're having a problem thank you this is crazy say bye pop-up

00:32:28Sisyphus peered into the mist a stone strove from the precipice pause

00:32:35Did he jump or did he fall as he gazed into the morning mist?

00:32:40Did he raise both fists and say to Hell with fists of jest, let the rock roll?

00:32:47Let it roll, let it crash down low. There's a house down there but I lost it long ago.

00:32:57Let it roll, let it crash down low. There's a house down there but I lost it long ago.

00:33:09Ezzie! Ezra! Ezra!

00:33:25Did you get a good night's sleep? No.

00:33:31The bed's mom. I bet you're right.

00:33:34Rental abduction defines as one parent taking the child without permission from the other parent.

00:33:39Yeah. You kidnapped Ezra?

00:33:42He can't be kidnapping if I'm his father. Of course it can. You have a restraining order.

00:33:47I'm saving my son's life.

00:33:48Ezzie needs somebody to advocate for him the way you and I used to do, together.

00:33:52You know I'm right. No, no, you're not right Max. You are wrong, okay?

00:33:56You need to bring him home now.

00:33:59Is that Ezra? No, no, hey, hey, hey!

00:34:02No bananas! No bananas!

00:34:04No bananas! No bananas!

00:34:06Excuse me. Okay, Ezzie, it's okay. Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe.

00:34:12I got you. It's okay. Come on, come on, come on, come on.

00:34:14Where's the bathroom? Where's the bathroom? Come on, you're okay.

00:34:21She's all right.

00:34:23Look, I didn't know that there were bananas in the oatmeal, right?

00:34:27What you're doing is insane.

00:34:29No, I don't think it is.

00:34:30That's the problem. You're not thinking. Trust me, this is very, very, very bad.

00:34:35In fact, this is a crime. Bring him back.

00:34:40Max? Holy shit! You hung up on me again!

00:34:48You know you can call the police.

00:34:51No, I'm not going to make this worse. I'm not traumatizing my son.

00:35:15Hey, buddy, what's the deal with the bananas?

00:35:18What's the deal with the bananas?

00:35:23I started gagging. Like, I can't breathe.

00:35:26Well, okay, but we know that you're not allergic to bananas, right?

00:35:29Because we saw that doctor, remember?

00:35:31So, maybe the bananas thing's in your mind, you know?

00:35:40I'm grinning and I'm mewing. What am I?

00:35:44I got no idea, but you're freaking me out there with no shirt on.

00:35:47Mad cow disease!

00:35:51Is that original material?

00:35:52SpongeBob.

00:35:53See, that's why it wasn't funny.

00:36:09Are you going to prison?

00:36:11Look, has Dad made a big decision when I was upset?

00:36:14And that's never a good idea.

00:36:16Bang, bang, bitches. I'll cut off his head and feed him to the fishes.

00:36:20Okay. Maybe no more Breaking Bad.

00:36:23Mom might be right about that one.

00:36:25Bruce wants to kill you. You can't go home.

00:36:28Oh, God. He's definitely not a fan, but...

00:36:30No, that's what he said.

00:36:32What? When?

00:36:35When I got hit by the cab. I was coming to Pop Pop's house.

00:36:38I got hit by the cab. I was coming to Pop Pop's to warn you about Bruce.

00:36:43Okay, hold that thought, buddy.

00:36:51Are you telling me that you didn't run into the street on purpose?

00:36:56Ezzie?

00:36:58Ezzie, I need your eyes, okay?

00:37:00This is very important.

00:37:02Are you saying that you didn't run into the street on purpose?

00:37:06Am I nuts? I thought I'm trying to bite me.

00:37:11Did you tell Mom this?

00:37:15Don't be mad.

00:37:17Nobody's mad.

00:37:18I wasn't supposed to tell you?

00:37:20Yes, of course. Hey, telling the truth, that's your biggest superpower. Huh?

00:37:25Thanks for telling me.

00:37:27You know what?

00:37:29You know what? I think we gotta dance.

00:37:32I think we gotta dance.

00:37:34Come on, let's find a good station.

00:37:36Ah, there it is.

00:37:38Move your butt muscles. Come on, let's go.

00:37:40Move it up into your chest, into your shoulders.

00:37:43Ah, yeah. Let it roll, let it roll.

00:37:45Down to the ass, back up to the shoulders.

00:37:47Now some claps. Some claps.

00:37:49Elbows up.

00:37:51Ah, yeah. Let it roll, let it roll.

00:37:53Come on, up into your chest.

00:37:55Yeah, yeah, that's it. Let it roll.

00:37:57Let it roll.

00:38:05I need to rest.

00:38:08Coming.

00:38:14Hey, Jane.

00:38:15Where the hell are you?

00:38:16Ah, just taking a little time off with Ed.

00:38:19Not a good time to take off, Max.

00:38:21Yeah, I know, I know. I screwed up.

00:38:24Yes, you did, and they were pissed.

00:38:26Yeah, look, I had a bad night. It happens, right?

00:38:28No. Sal Argento had a bad night.

00:38:31No. I guess that's something, right?

00:38:33You know what's something is having a manager

00:38:35who gets Jimmy Kimmel to watch the video.

00:38:38Video? What video?

00:38:41The one I made with my phone.

00:38:43He wants to book you.

00:38:45What?

00:38:46I need to rest.

00:38:48So you have to get yourself to L.A.

00:38:50They're not going to fly you. Is that going to be a problem?

00:38:52Uh, no. When?

00:38:55Next Friday, 4 p.m., in the Kimmel studio.

00:38:58Rest!

00:39:01Okay, all right, I'm coming.

00:39:03He loved you, Max.

00:39:05He loved me? Really?

00:39:06I love you, Jane.

00:39:07You're full of shit. Bye.

00:39:09Ben!

00:39:10Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming. Hey, hey!

00:39:12Ow! Shit! That's boiling hot!

00:39:15Come on, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out!

00:39:17Come on, what are you doing? Don't you feel it?

00:39:19It's hot!

00:39:20I don't, I don't feel hot!

00:39:22Okay, it's hot, though, okay?

00:39:23Look at your arms, they're all red!

00:39:24Mom, I'll check the temperature!

00:39:26Okay, that's fine, but if you see steam,

00:39:28it means it's too hot, okay?

00:39:30God, my stupid brain.

00:39:32Stupid, stupid, stupid!

00:39:34Stop that, okay? Stop that, you're not stupid.

00:39:36You're not, stop hitting yourself.

00:39:38Hey, hey, hey, hey, you're not stupid.

00:39:40You're not stupid, you're smart, okay?

00:39:42If you see steam, it means it's too hot.

00:39:44Easy peasy, okay?

00:39:48It's on the cards.

00:39:50We don't have the fucking cards!

00:39:53I'm sorry.

00:39:55Mommy's expecting.

00:39:57Well, guess what? We don't have Bactine,

00:39:59so you and I, we're gonna have to figure it out together, right?

00:40:01There we go, nice.

00:40:03You know what? I got a better idea.

00:40:05I got a better idea. Let go, here.

00:40:07Ready? Come on, stand up.

00:40:09Stand up, arms up.

00:40:11Huh?

00:40:12Armpits.

00:40:13Isn't this fun? Huh?

00:40:15Mom do stuff like this? No?

00:40:17I don't think so. Okay.

00:40:19We got this!

00:40:21Why do you always yell?

00:40:24Because Pop-Pop used to lock me in the attic

00:40:26chained to a radiator.

00:40:28I had to yell so he'd remember to feed me.

00:40:30There are no radiators in attics.

00:40:32You are good.

00:40:34Nothing gets past you.

00:40:36Well, there you go.

00:40:38I want to talk to you about something.

00:40:40I just got off the phone with Aunt Jane.

00:40:43Turns out Jimmy Kimmel wants me

00:40:45to be on his show in Los Angeles.

00:40:47That's far.

00:40:49Yeah, it is far.

00:40:51Did you get the part about Jimmy Kimmel

00:40:53wanting me to be a guest on his show?

00:40:55Yeah.

00:40:57So, you got anything for me?

00:40:59Any advice for your day?

00:41:02Be polite.

00:41:04Be polite.

00:41:06Anything else?

00:41:08Nope. No, stop asking me.

00:41:10Okay.

00:41:12Where am I going to get my mojo from?

00:41:14Mojo, Mom!

00:41:16That's right. Good.

00:41:18Okay.

00:41:20Let's have a staring contest.

00:41:22I don't want to.

00:41:24Come on. For me? Please?

00:41:26Pretty please?

00:41:28What if I make it worth your while?

00:41:32If I win,

00:41:34we go trick-or-treat?

00:41:36Yeah, deal.

00:41:38Ready? Come on.

00:41:40First one that blinks loses.

00:41:42Go. One, two, three, four...

00:41:45You want to stick?

00:41:47...five, six, seven...

00:41:49Mom says you are.

00:41:51...eight. Mom thinks everyone's autistic.

00:41:53Nine, ten...

00:41:55She thinks you got it from Pop-Pop, who gave it to you.

00:41:57...eleven. Listen to me. Nobody knows for sure.

00:41:59Okay, Lenny? Nobody.

00:42:01But it doesn't matter, because you're awesome.

00:42:03Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen...

00:42:05Does Mom love me?

00:42:07...seventeen.

00:42:09Buddy, Mom loves you more than anything in the world.

00:42:11Yeah. Okay?

00:42:13She and I, we're just having a disagreement right now.

00:42:15You blinked! I win!

00:42:17You did so good. You did so good!

00:42:19You win. Good job, buddy.

00:42:21Let's go. Bring it.

00:42:23Yeah, baby!

00:42:25Woo!

00:42:27Dan, can you open up, please?

00:42:29Dan!

00:42:31We need to talk.

00:42:35Dan?

00:42:37Hey, I know you're in there.

00:42:39Open the door!

00:42:41Open the door!

00:42:43Dan?

00:42:45Dan, just talk to me, please!

00:42:49I'm worried about them!

00:42:53Please?

00:43:05You don't give a shit! Huh?

00:43:07You're gonna let Max ruin his life again!

00:43:09And your boy's, too!

00:43:11Jerk!

00:43:31Watching the streets you roam

00:43:35Miles of light explode

00:43:39Drifting off the thing

00:43:43I'd never done before

00:43:49Watching the crowd roll in

00:43:53Alcohol lights up again

00:43:57Feeling in my bones

00:44:01I have a place for you, my boy

00:44:03Edgy! Get on out here!

00:44:05Edgy!

00:44:07Give your uncle Nicky a hug, huh?

00:44:09Come here!

00:44:11Hey, where are you going, kid?

00:44:13That's it. You are dead. You're so dead!

00:44:17Hi. I'm Margaret.

00:44:19How are you?

00:44:21Want to help me set the table?

00:44:29Look at you!

00:44:31No chance. Jesus Christ, man.

00:44:33Yeah. Bottomless s'mores.

00:44:35When you run a camp.

00:44:37Endless s'mores.

00:44:39I'm not gonna carry anything.

00:44:41What's up with the bad habit?

00:44:43That's Sister Margaret from Senegal.

00:44:45That's way out of town.

00:44:47Yeah. She's staying with a family in Ann Arbor.

00:44:49She goes to Michigan.

00:44:51You know that they want nuns to have a bachelor's degree?

00:44:53Why the fuck would I know that?

00:44:55I mean, can you imagine that?

00:44:57Four years of college before you can say your vows.

00:44:59But as long as she's on my staff,

00:45:01she pays half my expenses.

00:45:03Scamming the Vatican. I'm proud of you.

00:45:05Huh?

00:45:07Wait till you try it. It's incredible.

00:45:09She uses ancient Senegalese spices.

00:45:11I got the spice from Costco.

00:45:13Whoa!

00:45:15That sounds exotic. Costco.

00:45:17I thought you brought it from Senegal.

00:45:19No. Mixing up the cheeses.

00:45:21And she puts goat in the lasagna.

00:45:23What's wrong?

00:45:25Metal hurts my teeth.

00:45:27Okay.

00:45:29You know, plastic hurts the planet, so...

00:45:31Oh, I got some plastic right in the storeroom.

00:45:33I can just...

00:45:35Okay, we're gonna use the fork.

00:45:37It's mind over matter, just like the bananas.

00:45:39Come on, Ezzy, try it.

00:45:41Ezzy?

00:45:43Ez, come on, that's not polite.

00:45:45Pick up the fork and try, please.

00:45:47Ez?

00:45:49I need plastic. Mom has plastic.

00:45:51Okay, well, Mom's not here.

00:45:53Ezra, where are you going?

00:45:55Ezra!

00:45:57Listen to me!

00:45:59Ez, come on. Come on back, please.

00:46:01It hurts me!

00:46:03It's not in my mind!

00:46:05Ezra, come and sit down.

00:46:07I'll make you a deal. I'll let you eat with your fingers.

00:46:09If you try a fork once...

00:46:11It hurts! It hurts!

00:46:13Once, Ezra...

00:46:15I would take that deal.

00:46:17I need plastic!

00:46:19Plus, I'm gonna use my fingers, too.

00:46:21So will I.

00:46:24Once, Ezzy?

00:46:27Deal?

00:46:31Okay, let's do it.

00:46:33Let's get to work.

00:46:35All right.

00:46:37Come on, Max. Join the party.

00:46:39Join the lasagna party.

00:46:41No. Oh, God. Oh, man.

00:46:43Of course.

00:46:45They each shouldered the heavy pack and the water skin,

00:46:47which was their share,

00:46:49and turned from the light that lay on the lands outside

00:46:51and plunged into the forest.

00:47:21You can go now.

00:47:39You can go now.

00:47:45Did you just...

00:47:51Me?

00:47:53You can go now.

00:47:55Okay?

00:47:57Okay.

00:47:59Bye.

00:48:01Okay.

00:48:21Max?

00:48:23Oh, my goodness. I have a crush on your son.

00:48:25He'll break your heart.

00:48:27Don't worry. I can take it.

00:48:29All right, but you know what?

00:48:31If there's no future, sister, let's not lead him on.

00:48:33Hey, I haven't taken my vows yet.

00:48:35Ooh. Uh-oh.

00:48:37Okay.

00:48:45Good night.

00:48:47Night.

00:48:49Night is dead.

00:48:51She just blessed you.

00:48:53She does it every time she leaves.

00:48:55I think it's making me a better man.

00:48:59Look, I don't want to be sacrilegious,

00:49:01but I think this could be love.

00:49:03Hey, I'm Greek Orthodox,

00:49:05and we don't go there, okay?

00:49:09And she, oh, she's a Holy Spirit.

00:49:11All right, here you go.

00:49:13I'm just saying, man, house in the woods,

00:49:15summer camp, hot nun.

00:49:17Yeah, it sure beats

00:49:19telling dick jokes to drunken tourists.

00:49:21Hey, it's 11.

00:49:23Wasn't for me.

00:49:27So why are you here?

00:49:29What do you mean? I'm meeting little Nicky.

00:49:31You got a little bit of Nicky,

00:49:33and, uh, Nicky's

00:49:35a little concerned.

00:49:37You haven't signed the papers

00:49:39yet, have you?

00:49:41Seriously?

00:49:43Oh.

00:49:45I'd say you blew my high.

00:49:47Are you going to cry?

00:49:49If you want to cry, you want to let it go?

00:49:51Come to Papa Bear. Come on.

00:49:53I tried to give her everything, Nick.

00:49:55But where would she put it?

00:49:59God bless Stephen Wright.

00:50:01All those who believe in

00:50:03psychokinesis, raise my hand.

00:50:07I broke into Jenna's house

00:50:09in the middle of the night, and I kidnapped Ezra.

00:50:15All right, I'll play along.

00:50:17Why did you break into Jenna's house and kidnap Ezra?

00:50:19As he snuck out of Jenna's

00:50:21and got hit by a cab.

00:50:23What?

00:50:25His doctor said he might have done it on purpose.

00:50:27Shit. You think that was true?

00:50:29No.

00:50:31Are you kidding me?

00:50:33Every day he wakes up, that kid chooses life.

00:50:35My God.

00:50:37That's good.

00:50:39So why'd you do it?

00:50:41Jed thinks he should go to a special

00:50:43needs school, and I don't.

00:50:45Why not? Because in public school,

00:50:47he'll learn how to fight, learn how to protect himself.

00:50:49What are you, the great Santini?

00:50:51What are you talking about?

00:50:53I see people move away from Ez, right?

00:50:55He has a temper tantrum, or he's just

00:50:57walking down the street.

00:50:59People aren't trying to be mean, it's just that it's easier.

00:51:01You know the word

00:51:03autism comes from the Greek, in your own world.

00:51:05I don't want him in his own world, Nick.

00:51:13I want him in this world.

00:51:25You make it back okay?

00:51:27Put Max on the phone.

00:51:29Oh, my God.

00:51:31I don't have your pan.

00:51:33Hello?

00:51:37Hello?

00:51:39I'm right here, Pop.

00:51:41I can't stop for you to hang out with this idiot.

00:51:43What are you talking about?

00:51:45She took my son, and I took him back.

00:51:47You made a promise. You didn't keep your promise.

00:51:49She's throwing rocks at my window now.

00:51:51Hang up the phone.

00:51:53Hello? I'm coming in tomorrow.

00:51:55Then listen to me carefully.

00:51:57Call Ezzy's mom.

00:51:59You hear me? Call Ezzy's mom.

00:52:01I don't have your pan.

00:52:07Where are you?

00:52:09Hey, you know, Jen, I gotta say,

00:52:11in spite of everything that we've been through,

00:52:13I really believed you when you said

00:52:15that no matter what, we were gonna treat each other

00:52:17like family, and we were gonna be honest with each other.

00:52:19Remember? You said that?

00:52:21You haven't been honest, Max.

00:52:23You took him, and you need to bring him home.

00:52:25Let me ask you something. Did Ezra tell you

00:52:27that the reason he ran into the street

00:52:29was because he thought he was gonna get bit by a dog?

00:52:31Yes. I mean, what difference does it make?

00:52:33He ran out of the house in his pajamas,

00:52:35barefoot, and he nearly got hit by a cab.

00:52:37Yeah, because he heard your boyfriend say

00:52:39he was gonna kill me, and he was coming to warn me.

00:52:41Okay, I... You're scaring me now, Max.

00:52:43I'm not scaring you.

00:52:45Why don't you ask your boyfriend?

00:52:47You know Ezzy doesn't lie.

00:52:49Okay, hey, hey, you're right.

00:52:51You are family. You are.

00:52:53But you need to just bring him home now.

00:52:55Okay?

00:52:57Come home,

00:52:59and we'll talk about all of this.

00:53:01None of this is easy, but all I ever wanted

00:53:03was just to protect our boy.

00:53:05Well, I'm protecting him now.

00:53:07And leave my father alone.

00:53:13You waited four days

00:53:15to call about a missing child

00:53:17taken by a man you're divorcing

00:53:19who has a restraining order keeping him

00:53:21from seeing that child. Is that about right?

00:53:23I know how it sounds.

00:53:25He's his father.

00:53:27You don't think he'd hurt your son, do you?

00:53:29No, no, no, absolutely not.

00:53:31All right, um, let's make a few calls.

00:53:33We'll see if we can find him

00:53:35and put a trace on his phone.

00:53:37No disrespect, Mike, but no, I'm sorry, miss.

00:53:39But right now, I'm not feeling good about this.

00:53:41You understand?

00:53:43Yeah, I understand.

00:53:45Good, because from a missing and exploited child perspective,

00:53:47we need to issue an Amber Alert now.

00:53:49Are you sure this situation warrants one?

00:53:51Margo, let's just start

00:53:53with a missing persons report.

00:53:55Amber is for situations exactly like this one.

00:53:57And we're late, ma'am.

00:53:59I'm afraid it's not your decision.

00:54:03You know how to do it?

00:54:21Hey.

00:54:23That's nice. Thank you.

00:54:25Packed up, ready to go.

00:54:27Okay.

00:54:30I don't think that kid's ready to go, though.

00:54:32You see him over there

00:54:34making lanyards with Sister Margaret?

00:54:36Yeah.

00:54:38Kid's trying to steal my girl.

00:54:40They look good together.

00:54:42I think it's the autism.

00:54:44Chicks dig it.

00:54:46Sometimes I think I might be on the spectrum.

00:54:48I think you check a lot of the boxes.

00:54:50Yeah.

00:54:52No, I just think you're a strange dude.

00:54:54Yeah, I'm just uncomfortable in social situations.

00:54:56It's good you're out here.

00:54:58Yeah.

00:55:00Keeps me away from everyone.

00:55:02People?

00:55:04Yeah.

00:55:06You guys are welcome to stay.

00:55:08I'd love to stay, but we can't.

00:55:10I gotta be in L.A.

00:55:12What's in L.A.?

00:55:14I booked Kimmel.

00:55:18Are you fucking kidding me?

00:55:20You wouldn't lead with that?

00:55:22That's amazing!

00:55:24Max, come on!

00:55:26Best I did is get bumped from Arsenio.

00:55:28Worst night of my life.

00:55:30Hasselhoff segment ran long.

00:55:32I'll tell you what.

00:55:34You go to L.A., you work on your set,

00:55:36you get relaxed, you get focused, you get centered,

00:55:38take care of yourself, leave Ezra with me.

00:55:40Me and Margaret will take care of him.

00:55:42I can't do it, buddy.

00:55:44I gotta have him with me because I can heat him.

00:55:46He keeps my feet on the ground.

00:55:48All right, fine.

00:55:50I'll bake you a cake and bring it to you in prison.

00:55:52Make sure you throw Stan's saucepan in it.

00:55:54I don't have the pan.

00:55:58Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Carlson.

00:56:00Have a lovely day.

00:56:04Where are they?

00:56:06What do you mean? Just call them.

00:56:08He doesn't answer. He's just like you.

00:56:10I can't talk. I'm working. I can't.

00:56:12Hello, Mrs. C.

00:56:14And how are you today, young ladies?

00:56:16Score of gold is a box of Cracker Jacks.

00:56:18Isn't that for you?

00:56:20There's gonna be an Amber Alert.

00:56:22What do you mean? You called the cops on him?

00:56:24Where is Ezzie?

00:56:26He's with his father.

00:56:28You shouldn't have done that.

00:56:30That's a very bad thing to do.

00:56:32I did a bad thing?

00:56:34Yes, you're making it so he can't see him.

00:56:36Max did that.

00:56:38What do you expect him to do?

00:56:40Not kidnap him.

00:56:42You made him kidnap him.

00:56:44Please, Stan.

00:56:46How could you do that?

00:56:48Amber Alert? You know what that is?

00:56:50Well, I don't want to fight either,

00:56:52but all of a sudden, you don't believe in him?

00:56:54Now you're gonna Amber Alert?

00:56:56I'm not knowing what he was gonna do on any given day.

00:56:58I'm already so tired with Ezzie.

00:57:00Please, I just...

00:57:02I'm scared. I'm tired. I'm alone.

00:57:04And I need help.

00:57:06Rice Krispie's voice make me really tired.

00:57:16All right, well, we're gonna have to...

00:57:18We're gonna have to get to him before the cops do.

00:57:22We?

00:57:24Yeah, we, yeah.

00:57:26The shift ends, we start driving.

00:57:28Take 11 hours to get to Michigan.

00:57:30Hopefully get to him by tomorrow.

00:57:32Is it Nick's?

00:57:34Yes, it's with Nick.

00:57:36I'm not happy about that, but yes.

00:57:38Unfortunately, we're going to Nick's, yeah.

00:57:40I have a self-destructive personality.

00:57:44But it's okay, because I recently had a breakthrough.

00:57:46After thousands of hours of hypnosis therapy,

00:57:48I finally met my inner child.

00:57:52And he had a gun.

00:58:00Oh, hey, what's up, little guy?

00:58:02Whoa, okay, well, what?

00:58:04Okay, come on, put the gun down.

00:58:06Put the gun down.

00:58:08I'm trying to do a show here.

00:58:10Can you get back in my psyche, please?

00:58:12Thank you.

00:58:14My therapist said to me,

00:58:16Max, you're an adult now.

00:58:18You don't need your inner child.

00:58:20He can't help you anymore.

00:58:22I said, oh, yeah, really, Mark?

00:58:24He's got a gun, what do you got?

00:58:26I'm taking that inner sociopath

00:58:28with me everywhere I go.

00:58:30Thank you, Nancy.

00:58:32Have a great night.

00:58:34Everybody, let's hear it

00:58:36for Max Berkman.

00:58:38What's up, man?

00:58:40Mr. Neat and another pineapple juice

00:58:42Colorado.

00:58:44You really should get the boy home.

00:58:46He's your son, right?

00:58:48Yeah, that's my son.

00:58:50It's after 12. I was watching him.

00:58:52He doesn't seem happy here.

00:58:54Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.

00:58:56You were watching him during my set?

00:58:58Now I'm offended.

00:59:00No child should be in this club,

00:59:02especially not a child with issues.

00:59:04Issues?

00:59:06Let me ask you something.

00:59:08Do I come to where you work

00:59:10I don't care that, but she should mind

00:59:12her own fucking business.

00:59:28They were the owners.

00:59:30Like I said, as I didn't know.

00:59:32They were the owners.

00:59:34We covered this already, okay?

00:59:36It's enough now.

00:59:38Hey, buddy.

00:59:40I'm sorry, okay?

00:59:42It was my bad. Okay, listen to me, Ezzie, okay?

00:59:44Sometimes

00:59:46life's gonna get messy, okay?

00:59:48And if it does, that's okay.

00:59:50You know,

00:59:52people say life's gotta be neat.

00:59:54It's gotta be nice, but it doesn't.

00:59:56You hear me?

00:59:58Yes.

01:00:00Okay.

01:00:02Alright, that's good.

01:00:04Go to sleep.

01:00:06It's a good idea.

01:00:18I really appreciate this, Stan.

01:00:26A mother's job is never done

01:00:28over a father's.

01:00:34I guess

01:00:36I don't even know anymore.

01:00:48Here, turn here.

01:00:50Here.

01:00:58There he is. There he is. Get close.

01:01:00Look, look.

01:01:03Shit.

01:01:05Hey, look at your guilt on your face.

01:01:07What are you doing?

01:01:09What am I doing? Run, Zorba, run.

01:01:11Get off my property.

01:01:13Yeah, run. Come on, run.

01:01:15Fuck you, Stan.

01:01:17Fuck you.

01:01:19Come on. I told you, I don't know where they went.

01:01:21I thought you had more sense, Nick.

01:01:23Yeah, well, I thought you had a heart, Jenna.

01:01:25Think about Ezra.

01:01:27My kid is out there.

01:01:29Where is he?

01:01:31They went to go to Kimmel in L.A.

01:01:35He got Kimmel?

01:01:37I know, he booked Kimmel.

01:01:39Can you believe it?

01:01:41I mean, he's funny, but...

01:01:45Please don't tell Max that I ratted him out.

01:01:47I'm not strong.

01:01:49Stop whining.

01:01:51Meet me in the car. I've got some unfinished business.

01:01:53Please don't leave me alone with him.

01:01:55Jenna?

01:01:59Okay, I'm gonna put this in as loving a way as possible.

01:02:03You need help.

01:02:05Oh, hi, this is Jane Green's assistant.

01:02:07I was wanting to confirm the date and time

01:02:09for Max Bernal's appearance.

01:02:13Yes, I, uh, accidentally deleted an e-mail.

01:02:17Oh, great.

01:02:19Thank you so much.

01:02:21Appreciate it. Take care.

01:02:23Let's go.

01:02:31I'm gonna get a coffee.

01:02:33Hey, we've had enough sugar.

01:02:37Uh, can I have a black coffee, please?

01:02:39Sure thing, thanks.

01:02:43Hey, dude.

01:02:45Where can I get a local motel you can suggest?

01:02:47Uh, yeah.

01:02:49You got the Jersey plates, right?

01:02:51Yeah.

01:02:53Hey, hey, sir, you got a great eye for cars.

01:02:55Only sorta.

01:02:57My grandma's got an elbow.

01:02:59So five exits, Best Western, includes breakfast and biscuits.

01:03:01Oh, great. Which way? That way?

01:03:03Hey, look, I'm on TV.

01:03:05Oh, yeah, look at that, buddy.

01:03:07Your commercial's running everywhere.

01:03:09Child actor, we're on the way to Hollywood

01:03:11for a big screen test.

01:03:13Not true.

01:03:15Hey, wait.

01:03:17Have I seen you in anything?

01:03:19San Ferdinand's son.

01:03:21It will be remade.

01:03:23Hey, let me get your autograph.

01:03:25Sign it to Tim?

01:03:27Never catch me alive, Tim!

01:03:39D-Y-G.

01:03:41What the hell?

01:03:49Whoa, whoa.

01:03:51What's wrong?

01:03:53Nothing.

01:03:55Back to sleep, buddy. Come on, it's late.

01:03:57What are you doing?

01:03:59I'm just taking a shortcut.

01:04:01To where?

01:04:03Best campsite in the rest.

01:04:05This isn't a shortcut. Yeah, it is.

01:04:07No, it's not.

01:04:09Oh, shit!

01:04:11Ez?

01:04:13Ez, where are you, okay?

01:04:15Ezzie?

01:04:17Ez, Ez!

01:04:19Fuck, fuck.

01:04:21Hey, come on, buddy.

01:04:23Okay.

01:04:25Come on, where are you?

01:04:27Ez?

01:04:29Ezzie?

01:04:33Fuck.

01:04:37Ezzie!

01:04:43Ezzie!

01:04:47Ez!

01:04:57Ez!

01:05:05Ezzie!

01:05:07Ez!

01:05:15Hey, stop!

01:05:17Stop!

01:05:19Hey, hey, I said stop, okay?

01:05:21Stop! I said stop!

01:05:23I told you to stop!

01:05:25What are you gonna do?

01:05:27Hit me?

01:05:29You wanna hit me? Come on, hit me!

01:05:31No, I'm not, I'm not. No, I just, you scared me, buddy.

01:05:33You freaked me out. I'm sorry, okay?

01:05:35Why did you take me?

01:05:37Why did you take me

01:05:39if you don't know how to help me?

01:05:41I don't know, buddy. You're my superhero.

01:05:43I just, you're everything. You're my mojo.

01:05:45I'm not your superhero!

01:05:47I'm not your mojo!

01:05:49I'm not your money!

01:05:51I'm your son, and you're my dad,

01:05:53my dad, my dad, my dad,

01:05:55my dad, my dad, my dad!

01:05:57Okay, okay, okay, okay.

01:05:59I hate you.

01:06:01I hate you.

01:06:03I hate you.

01:06:33Hello?

01:06:35Bob?

01:06:37Hello?

01:06:39I almost hit my kid.

01:06:41What happened?

01:06:43What happened?

01:06:45I almost...

01:06:47What?

01:06:49I almost hit Ezra.

01:06:51Where are you?

01:06:53I'm in the woods.

01:06:55Where?

01:06:57In the fucking woods. I don't know where, okay?

01:06:59I almost hit Ezra,

01:07:01and I don't know where to put all this, Bob.

01:07:03I don't know where to put all this fucking rage.

01:07:05Yeah, I'll put it anywhere.

01:07:07You just, you bury it.

01:07:09Yeah, okay, but I'm asking you,

01:07:11what do I do?

01:07:13You know what to do.

01:07:15I don't know what to do, man.

01:07:17I'm in a forest. I'm losing my shit,

01:07:19and I don't know what to do, so I thought that maybe,

01:07:21just maybe you might just be like a normal dad

01:07:23and give me some fucking advice.

01:07:25Ah, shut up. What are you talking about?

01:07:27I'm trying to talk to you about it now,

01:07:29and then I'll bite your arm off, tie yourself to a tree,

01:07:31do whatever you need to do

01:07:33to not hit your kid. It's that simple.

01:07:37You understand? Look what happened with us.

01:07:39It killed me. You cannot hit him.

01:07:41You cannot hit him.

01:07:45Dad, yeah, I get it.

01:07:47You sure you do? Because if you did,

01:07:49you'd know it's time to throw in a towel on this stupid trip.

01:07:51It's not a stupid trip. Yes, it is.

01:07:53It's not, Bob. It's not stupid.

01:07:55Yes, it is. It's stupid.

01:07:57How are you going to feel if you end up back in jail?

01:07:59Then what?

01:08:03Where are you? I'll come get you.

01:08:09Fuck.

01:08:11Fuck.

01:08:27Fuck.

01:08:47You can't even say the word.

01:08:49Just a word.

01:08:51Autism.

01:08:53Yeah, whatever.

01:08:57Saying it out loud,

01:08:59it'll help Ezzie and his life.

01:09:01Nah, you know what?

01:09:03I don't... I'm not sure about that.

01:09:07We've got to be able to talk about this

01:09:09and not...

01:09:11Okay, tell me. What do you want to talk about?

01:09:13Be hiding. I don't want to be hiding about it.

01:09:15I want to talk about it. I want to give it a name.

01:09:17I want to get all the help we can get.

01:09:19Who's hiding? Nobody's hiding.

01:09:21He took him. He's hiding him.

01:09:23He's afraid of him. He's taking him somewhere.

01:09:25You think he's going to kill him? He's going to...

01:09:27I don't think... Of course I don't think that.

01:09:29What do you think he's going to do?

01:09:31You know he loves him and he's going to take him.

01:09:33You know he's going to take him somewhere or do something,

01:09:35but that doesn't mean he's going to do anything bad to him.

01:09:37I don't know. The fragility of Max

01:09:39and his mental state and his...

01:09:41He flies off the handle.

01:09:43He doesn't know how to control Ezzie.

01:09:45He doesn't know everything that he needs.

01:09:47No, he doesn't, but neither do you.

01:09:49That's what it is.

01:09:51It's a condition that just is there.

01:09:53You have to deal with it.

01:09:55And I know you think my sign

01:09:57gave him what you say he's got.

01:09:59I never said that. You didn't have to.

01:10:01I never said that. My wife did the same thing.

01:10:03I had the same fights with her. Do not compare me to his mother.

01:10:05I'm not comparing you, but... Don't compare me to his mother.

01:10:07I'm not comparing you, but there is a similarity.

01:10:09I'm sorry.

01:10:11I devoted my life to this family.

01:10:13I'm devoting my life to this family.

01:10:15That woman abandoned him.

01:10:17I don't even know

01:10:19what happened, because you don't talk about it

01:10:21and Max doesn't talk about it, so nobody talks

01:10:23about anything, but what she did

01:10:25was unforgivable.

01:10:27Don't compare me to her.

01:10:29How dare you?

01:10:31It's, uh...

01:10:33It was a long time ago, so

01:10:35it's all over with now.

01:10:37I can't believe you grew up around here.

01:10:39I know, right?

01:10:41Papa met my mother in New York,

01:10:43and then, well, we all moved to Nebraska.

01:10:45How did your mother leave?

01:10:51Uh...

01:10:53You know, it's funny, Bunny, I...

01:10:55I don't really know.

01:10:57It's not funny.

01:10:59You're right. It's not funny.

01:11:01It's not funny.

01:11:03It's not funny.

01:11:05You're right. It's not funny.

01:11:09You know, I just woke up one morning

01:11:11and she was gone.

01:11:13And I guess...

01:11:15I guess

01:11:17after so many years, I just worked it out

01:11:19for myself that she must have been

01:11:21pretty sad

01:11:23to do something like that, right?

01:11:25She was a

01:11:27terrible mother.

01:11:31You're right. She was.

01:11:35She was.

01:11:39All right. Come on.

01:11:41Let's go.

01:11:43Hey, folks, thank you again. Thank you so much.

01:11:45All right.

01:11:47What a nice couple.

01:11:49I bet... I bet they've been together

01:11:51since they were your age.

01:11:53I'm going to die a virgin.

01:11:55What? No, that's bullshit.

01:11:57Someone out there who loves

01:11:59dinosaurs, Dostoevsky, and Family Guy.

01:12:01You watch.

01:12:03And live-action D&D.

01:12:05And live-action D&D. There you go.

01:12:07You know what you want.

01:12:09What are we doing here?

01:12:11The lady who lives here

01:12:13is an old friend of your dad's.

01:12:17This place looks like a demon movie

01:12:19waiting to happen.

01:12:21Let's hope not.

01:12:29Oh, my God!

01:12:31What? Hi.

01:12:33Oh, no!

01:12:35Hi! What are you doing here?

01:12:37Well, it's a...

01:12:39That's a long story.

01:12:41Grace, this is Ezra.

01:12:45Nice to meet you, Ezra.

01:12:47Heard a lot about you.

01:12:49I've never heard

01:12:51about you.

01:12:53Who's here, Mom? Oh, wow, you're...

01:12:55This is my Ruby.

01:12:57Way different from your baby picture.

01:12:59I hope so. Hi.

01:13:01This is an old friend, Max.

01:13:03And his son, Ezra.

01:13:05Hi. Do you want to come

01:13:07play with Harper and me?

01:13:11Come on.

01:13:15Is this a surprise?

01:13:17Yeah, I know.

01:13:19You think we can go inside?

01:13:21I'm kind of a fugitive from the law.

01:13:23What the hell?

01:13:25I'm not joking.

01:13:27Harper!

01:13:33Harper!

01:13:39Does...

01:13:41Does Harper always follow you?

01:13:43All the time.

01:13:45Lucky dog.

01:13:51He tried to push me into Jackson's pod.

01:13:53You loved it.

01:13:55You're a grown man.

01:13:57I'm not his girl.

01:13:59Introduce the troops.

01:14:01Ezra, Ridgway and Callie.

01:14:03Where you from?

01:14:05He's from back east.

01:14:07Wow.

01:14:09Look at him go.

01:14:11Please don't be a dick.

01:14:13No one cared who I was

01:14:15until I put on the mask.

01:14:17That was pretty random, freak.

01:14:19Who is Bane? Why does he wear the mask?

01:14:21Dark Knight is my obsession.

01:14:25Let's go.

01:14:27So tell me again.

01:14:29Oh, Harper, I just ran out of patience.

01:14:31Which happens to all parents.

01:14:33Yeah, but what I was seeing,

01:14:35he wasn't safe.

01:14:37And now he is.

01:14:43He's safe to me.

01:14:49I don't know, Max.

01:14:51Why don't you let me call Jenna?

01:14:53She knows he's okay.

01:14:57Okay.

01:14:59Yeah.

01:15:01I'm not gonna fight you on it.

01:15:03So eat your sandwich, wash up,

01:15:05hitchhike off to L.A.

01:15:09Look, I know this all seems insane,

01:15:11but I didn't know where else to go.

01:15:13So...

01:15:15So let me help you.

01:15:19I gotta finish this, Grace.

01:15:21Grace, I do.

01:15:23You know, that kid is...

01:15:25the one thing that I can't get wrong.

01:15:27That's right. That's right.

01:15:29You can't, because he's perfect.

01:15:31No, he's not, Grace. He's not perfect.

01:15:33And everybody's trying to make him be

01:15:35just like everybody else,

01:15:37me included, right?

01:15:39And then one day he might magically wake up

01:15:41and become the coolest,

01:15:43most amped-up and normal kid

01:15:45that's ever walked the face of the Earth.

01:15:47And that is not gonna happen.

01:15:49It's not.

01:15:57It's not. It's never gonna happen.

01:15:59So I have to protect him, you know?

01:16:01And if I can't protect him,

01:16:03well, then he's not gonna make it.

01:16:05And I...

01:16:07I...

01:16:19Do you want caramel

01:16:21or fudge?

01:16:23Both.

01:16:25You're so bad.

01:16:27Oh, my God. You have to try this, Ezra.

01:16:31Come on. I won't take no for an answer.

01:16:33Fine.

01:16:37You won't regret it.

01:16:43How good is that?

01:16:49You okay?

01:16:53Yeah, I mean,

01:16:55nobody uses it anymore.

01:16:57Oh, my God.

01:16:59There she is.

01:17:01Oh, I gotta lay hands on her.

01:17:03Oh, I'm getting the vibes.

01:17:05Everything in this bucket.

01:17:07You know what?

01:17:09If she starts, take her.

01:17:11Really?

01:17:13Okay, thank you.

01:17:15I'll get it back to you

01:17:17just as soon as all this blows over.

01:17:19It's okay. It's gonna be fine, Max.

01:17:21It's gonna be fine.

01:17:23You just need to stop biting the dog.

01:17:25What do you mean?

01:17:27Sixth grade.

01:17:29A dog was coming toward us,

01:17:31and you bit the dog.

01:17:33You bit it.

01:17:35I was trying to protect you.

01:17:37I was protecting you.

01:17:39Come on. The dog wasn't even gonna bite me or you.

01:17:41Poor thing ran off with its tail

01:17:43between its legs.

01:17:45Yeah.

01:17:47Listen,

01:17:49not everyone is trying to bite you, Max.

01:17:55Wanna feed him?

01:17:59Have you ever ridden one before?

01:18:03How would you feel if you left here

01:18:05and didn't even pet one of these gorgeous animals?

01:18:07Like a loser.

01:18:09Okay.

01:18:11So let's start with how to greet a horse.

01:18:13You approach a horse

01:18:15from the side so he can see you.

01:18:17Then you pat him right here

01:18:19on the side of his face.

01:18:21And you say in the nicest way,

01:18:23Hello, Bosco.

01:18:29Hello, Pastor Ken.

01:18:33I bet he likes pastures.

01:18:35And he likes you.

01:18:37You can tell?

01:18:39You bet.

01:18:41Just look him in the eye.

01:18:43Looking a horse in the eye,

01:18:45it's like sharing your soul.

01:18:55You just made a friend for life.

01:19:03Uh, Mom?

01:19:05Tom's at the door.

01:19:07Ooh.

01:19:09Who's Tom?

01:19:11All right, uh, Max, keys are in the car.

01:19:13Callie, Ridgeway, show him the horse trail.

01:19:15Ruby, take Ezra, go get his bags.

01:19:17Okay.

01:19:19Go, go!

01:19:21Don't forget your dinosaur, okay?

01:19:23I'm sorry.

01:19:25It's okay.

01:19:33Uh...

01:19:39Hey, Tom.

01:19:41What's up?

01:19:43Sorry to bother you, Grace.

01:19:45I got a couple, swear they gave a father and kid a ride

01:19:47and dropped them off here.

01:19:49Seems the father kidnapped the kid from New Jersey.

01:19:51That's horrible. What can I do?

01:19:53I'm sorry. Would you mind if I had a look around?

01:19:55This woman's really upset.

01:19:57No, no, no. Come on in, Tom.

01:19:59Thanks. It'll just be a minute.

01:20:03Hey, don't flood it!

01:20:05Okay.

01:20:11I guess this is it.

01:20:13This is it.

01:20:29All right, you two, get a room.

01:20:33I don't mean to be rude,

01:20:35but that was not as easy as it looked.

01:20:37So I would appreciate it

01:20:39if you wouldn't distract me.

01:20:41Princess Bride.

01:20:43That kid's a genius.

01:20:59Can we get a horse?

01:21:03Dude, we live in Hoboken.

01:21:07Yeah, that's what I thought.

01:21:09Hey, Az,

01:21:11you understand why I'm doing this,

01:21:13don't you?

01:21:15Of course. You want to be on Jimmy Kimmel or any father would.

01:21:17No, no, that's not it.

01:21:19I mean,

01:21:21sure, but

01:21:23it's more than that, you know?

01:21:25Um...

01:21:27You know how Pop-Pop gave up being a chef

01:21:29and then he took that job

01:21:31as a doorman?

01:21:33Well, he did that for me.

01:21:37That makes no sense.

01:21:39No.

01:21:41It makes perfect sense, actually, buddy.

01:21:43Because...

01:21:45Because, you know,

01:21:47a dad's job

01:21:49is to take his son down the field.

01:21:51What field?

01:21:53Any field, you know?

01:21:55Football field.

01:21:57Football causes brain injuries.

01:21:59But in this case, it's a metaphor, right?

01:22:01Right.

01:22:03So...

01:22:05So a dad's gotta...

01:22:07He's gotta go down that field, right?

01:22:09And if he gets tackled

01:22:11before he scores...

01:22:13Game over.

01:22:15Except that it's not.

01:22:17Because all that dad wants, right,

01:22:19is for that kid to pick up the ball

01:22:21where his dad got tackled

01:22:23and to take it the rest of the way.

01:22:25Touchdown!

01:22:27Anyway...

01:22:31That's why I'm going to Kimmel.

01:22:39You're a good dad.

01:22:57I love you.

01:23:27Would you like some coffee?

01:23:29Yeah, I'd love some.

01:23:31Get a table in the house of pies over there.

01:23:33I'll meet you right there.

01:23:35Come on, pull it up.

01:23:37I'll see you inside.

01:23:39See you inside.

01:23:41What do you want to drink?

01:23:43Life's a sport. Drink it up.

01:23:45Okay, what's that quote for?

01:23:47Looks like we've got another mystery on our hands.

01:23:49Honey, I love the quotes, okay?

01:23:51But not for every situation, right?

01:23:53This nice lady's got her work to do.

01:23:55My man Ezra,

01:23:57dropping quotes and flying without a net

01:23:59so that he could order himself, eh?

01:24:01Ice tea, please.

01:24:13Here you go.

01:24:15Hey, what's going on?

01:24:17My name's Ezra,

01:24:19and I'm going to tell you all a joke.

01:24:21Where do horses go

01:24:23when they're sick?

01:24:25To the horse-pital.

01:24:29Yeah.

01:24:31Thank you.

01:24:33You've been a wonderful audience.

01:24:35Wow.

01:24:37First original joke. I'm proud of you.

01:24:39New material is not easy.

01:24:53Hey, buddy, I'm gonna go, um,

01:24:55wash my hands, okay?

01:24:57Be right back. Okay.

01:25:01To the horse-pital.

01:25:03To the horse-pital.

01:25:05What are you doing here?

01:25:07Never mind that. How did you find me?

01:25:09How did you find me all the way out here?

01:25:11We were at the House of Pies. I saw you over there.

01:25:13Me and Jenna. She's there. It's okay.

01:25:15Okay.

01:25:17You've got some balls. Listen to me.

01:25:19No, you shut up. Listen to me.

01:25:21I'm talking to you. You go back to the House of Pies.

01:25:23You never saw me. Shut up.

01:25:25I'm trying to tell you something. I'm not here to stop you.

01:25:31I'm here to apologize.

01:25:33For what?

01:25:35Look, I'm sorry.

01:25:37You know, I...

01:25:39That's all. I'm sorry.

01:25:41What are you talking about?

01:25:43What happened?

01:25:45Your mother left,

01:25:47and I loved her,

01:25:49but I was impossible to live with,

01:25:51and I never really told you about any of that,

01:25:53and so I'm sorry.

01:25:55What do you mean? Mom left because that was a pain in the ass.

01:25:57No, I was the pain in the ass.

01:25:59It was me. All I ever did was fight,

01:26:01and every fight I ever had was against someone I thought had it in for me,

01:26:03and those kind of fights you never really win.

01:26:05You just go from one person to another

01:26:07until there's nobody left.

01:26:09And then when I wasn't fighting,

01:26:11I was...

01:26:13I was hiding.

01:26:15I was hiding in restaurant kitchens,

01:26:17I was...

01:26:19Now I'm hiding holding doors open for strangers.

01:26:21I'm... I'm... I'm... That's...

01:26:25I hid because I didn't know what else to do.

01:26:29I didn't know how to do what I see you doing.

01:26:31Why?

01:26:33When you're fighting for something that means something,

01:26:35maybe it's too much,

01:26:37but you're trying to do the right thing.

01:26:39You're in the fight of your life for your son,

01:26:41and if you get arrested, you're gonna get arrested.

01:26:43But as far as I'm concerned,

01:26:45you're my heavyweight champion.

01:26:47Because I had a problem.

01:26:49I had a problem

01:26:51with your mother at Devil Cat.

01:26:55I wish that I had done what you did.

01:26:59You might have to suffer consequences,

01:27:01but it's... it's worth it,

01:27:03because you did it for the right reasons.

01:27:05You did it because you love your kid.

01:27:07Taking him out of bed

01:27:09in the middle of the night.

01:27:11Felony.

01:27:13Took a lot of courage.

01:27:15Believe it or not, it might have been the best thing

01:27:17you ever could have done.

01:27:19And what you're always worried about, not having a family?

01:27:21You gotta stop that.

01:27:23I'm here, and Ezzie's there.

01:27:25And the woman in the house of pies.

01:27:27Well, it'll all be all right with her.

01:27:29That'll all work itself out eventually.

01:27:31But you gotta know that you have a family

01:27:33that loves you and that needs you and that cares about you.

01:27:37Now, be careful. Okay.

01:27:39I gotta get back. Okay.

01:27:41Okay.

01:27:55Right. Recognize any of these names, bud?

01:27:57Yeah. Sidney Poitier.

01:27:59They call me...

01:28:01Mr. Tibbs.

01:28:03Of course. Stupid question. My bad.

01:28:05Uh...

01:28:07Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

01:28:09Dorothy is Eliza Minnelli's mom.

01:28:11Okay. That's a fact. Pick up the pace, okay?

01:28:13Come on.

01:28:15Crying? There's no crying in this, Mom!

01:28:23Is Jimmy here?

01:28:25He might stop in to say hi.

01:28:27Oh, good. My son's a big fan. No, I'm not.

01:28:31Park there.

01:28:33Take the spot.

01:28:35Take that spot.

01:28:37Do as much of your set

01:28:39as you want for the sound check.

01:28:41How's the mojo over there? Good?

01:28:43Max, see the box?

01:28:45Don't step outside the box, don't look at Jimmy,

01:28:47and do not go over your time.

01:28:49You good?

01:28:51I hope so.

01:28:53Okay. Check, check, check.

01:28:55Is that my camera? There. That's it.

01:28:57How's everybody doing tonight?

01:28:59Good? Hello?

01:29:01I gotta stay in the box.

01:29:03Hi, there.

01:29:05When did Max Bernal arrive with a young boy?

01:29:07Both very handsome.

01:29:09She's got a way of looking at things through a negative lens,

01:29:11which makes sense, you know?

01:29:13I was a breached baby.

01:29:15My dad says I came out with a black eye.

01:29:17He says I popped out, and the first thing I said was,

01:29:19who thought this was a good idea?

01:29:21It's right through here.

01:29:23My son came up to me the other day.

01:29:25He said, Dad, you're an awfulizer.

01:29:27I said, honey, I don't think awfulizer's a word.

01:29:29He says, yes, it is.

01:29:31There he is, my son.

01:29:33Actually, I think I am an awfulizer,

01:29:35because truth be told, I can take any situation

01:29:37and just make it worse.

01:29:39Mr. Bernal, I'm Special Agent Costa,

01:29:41FBI.

01:29:43We're here to take you into custody.

01:29:45Okay, I can't believe this.

01:29:47You knocked this in front of my kids.

01:29:49Hi, Ezra. I'm Jessica.

01:29:51We're gonna take a little walk, all right?

01:29:53...traveled all the way across the country with my son.

01:29:55I understand that you came across the country, sir.

01:29:57I just can't believe this.

01:29:59Oh, Ezzie, it's fine. It's fine.

01:30:01Let's get you something to eat.

01:30:03Daddy just needs to talk to my friend Joe, all right?

01:30:05Everything's fine, Ezra, okay?

01:30:07Hey, don't touch my kid!

01:30:09Hey, don't touch my son!

01:30:11He doesn't like to be touched. It's okay.

01:30:13It's okay, Ezzie.

01:30:15Look, I know. I called you myself, and I made a mistake.

01:30:17It's okay, it's okay. You're all here.

01:30:19Ma'am, I need you to back off.

01:30:21I need you to back off, please.

01:30:23This is my son. Hi. Hey, baby.

01:30:25Ezzie. Hey, buddy.

01:30:27You okay? Hi.

01:30:29Hi.

01:30:31Ezzie, I missed you.

01:30:33Ez?

01:30:35You okay, buddy?

01:30:37Did you have a good time? How was the trip?

01:30:43I talked to a horse.

01:30:45What? That's amazing.

01:30:47I wish I'd been there.

01:30:59I'm sorry, ma'am,

01:31:01but we still need to arrest Mr. Benal.

01:31:03I'm the one who called you.

01:31:05I made a mistake. As you can see,

01:31:07my son is fine, so...

01:31:09We don't have a choice. Yes, you do have a choice.

01:31:11I am his mother. This is his father.

01:31:13This is his grandfather.

01:31:15We're a family, and we are taking him home.

01:31:17Together.

01:31:19So, thank you very much.

01:31:21There's no need for any of this anymore.

01:31:23Okay, everybody just stay calm.

01:31:25Hey, man, it's okay. You need to calm down.

01:31:27I am calm. I'm calm.

01:31:29Hey, hey, he's not resisting.

01:31:31I'm not resisting. She's not pressing the charges.

01:31:33Right, Jack? Yes, we're calling off the charges.

01:31:35Come on, man. Stop.

01:31:37Dad!

01:31:39Get off my dad!

01:31:41Get off!

01:31:43I gotta finish this. Dad! Dad!

01:31:45Dad!

01:31:47It's okay. It's okay.

01:31:49You got tackled.

01:31:51Give me the ball.

01:31:57Oh.

01:32:09Calm down. It's okay.

01:32:27Okay, let's go.

01:32:29Coming.

01:32:31Come on, come on, come on. We're gonna be late.

01:32:33Come on.

01:32:35Morning.

01:32:37Look, I know you have to deal with this house arrest stuff,

01:32:39but would you mind picking him up from school?

01:32:41I have an inspection I just can't get out of.

01:32:43Yeah, sure. I'll just have to tell my probation guy.

01:32:45Okay. Hey, hey, hey.

01:32:47Remember, just don't talk too fast.

01:32:49What you did last night, it was brilliant.

01:32:51For whom the bell tolls.

01:32:53For whom the bell tolls.

01:32:55For whom the bell tolls.

01:32:57Today, it tolls for me.

01:32:59That's gonna be a good presentation.

01:33:01All right, all right.

01:33:03Break a leg.

01:33:05Let's go before they lock us out.

01:33:07You heard it.

01:33:09You know...

01:33:11You know, when Hemingway was my age,

01:33:13you know, his parents got him for his birthday.

01:33:15No, what?

01:33:17His dad got him a shotgun.

01:33:19His mom, the violin.

01:33:21Hemingway played the violin?

01:33:23No.

01:33:2550 years later, he used that shotgun to...

01:33:27What?

01:33:29Really?

01:33:31Look at that.

01:33:33Wow. I did not know that.

01:33:35Well, guess who's getting violin lessons.

01:33:37Oh, buddy, I'm so happy you're excited about this school, huh?

01:33:41Finally got it right.

01:33:43Yeah. Mom was right.

01:33:45Can't you cover for me?

01:33:47No.

01:33:49Can't you cover that thing with your sock?

01:33:51What?

01:33:53Oh, I don't like the way it feels on my skin.

01:33:55The texture thing, you know?

01:33:57It's blinking.

01:33:59Okay, you know what? Are you gonna bring it in?

01:34:01Fine.

01:34:05You can go now.

01:34:07Have a good day.

01:34:37Remember, the last time this guy was here,

01:34:39he got arrested.

01:34:41Oh, wow.

01:34:43Max? Jimmy?

01:34:45Hey, man, how you doing?

01:34:47Man, you look great.

01:34:49Great to have you here.

01:34:51Hi, nice meeting you.

01:34:53How's your son doing?

01:34:55Oh, he's great, man, yeah.

01:34:57He'd be here, but, you know, I can't take him out of the States.

01:34:59Yeah, right.

01:35:01Guess not.

01:35:03Yeah, guess not.

01:35:05Yeah, right, guess not.

01:35:07Yeah, I guess you can't.

01:35:09So I was telling you, remember the last time Max was here,

01:35:11he was almost on the show,

01:35:13but he got arrested.

01:35:15He rescued his son from school.

01:35:17Yeah?

01:35:19That's how I see it.

01:35:21Yeah.

01:35:23But anyway, it's great to have you here, Jimmy.

01:35:25Sorry about that.

01:35:27I forgot to tell you, I had to bring my probation officer with me.

01:35:29This is your probation officer?

01:35:31Yeah.

01:35:33Wow.

01:35:35Yeah.

01:35:37He has to stay with you all the time?

01:35:39Yeah.

01:35:41He's very cute.

01:35:43Hey, man, what's up?

01:35:45I'll be right here, right?

01:35:47At least he's a good-looking guy.

01:35:49All right, we'll break a leg.

01:35:51Okay, glad you're finally here.

01:35:53Safety first.

01:35:55Yeah, thanks.

01:35:57Yeah, that's true.

01:35:59All right, I'll see you out there.

01:36:01Under your bedroom window

01:36:03Footprints let us go

01:36:07You wear a wig and glasses

01:36:09I smoke and hide the ashes

01:36:13I'll carry you downfield

01:36:15Code only yours to reveal

01:36:19So let yourself be Ezra

01:36:23We'll sing the words to your song

01:36:25So let yourself be Ezra

01:36:27You don't have to write what's wrong

01:36:31And in the morning can't you see

01:36:33The sun is coming up for you

01:36:37Your timing's never too soon

01:36:39Everybody needs a line

01:36:57We're dancing in the car

01:36:59We're fighting after dark

01:37:03But when the sun comes up

01:37:05I'm glad to be kids like us

01:37:09I hope one day you learn

01:37:11I'm here to ease the burn

01:37:15Growing up never ends

01:37:17But we won't break, we'll bend

01:37:21So let yourself be Ezra

01:37:23We'll sing the words to your song

01:37:27So let yourself be Ezra

01:37:29You don't have to write what's wrong

01:37:33And in the morning can't you see

01:37:35The sun is coming up for you

01:37:39Your timing's never too soon

01:37:41Everybody needs a line

01:37:45So let yourself be Ezra

01:37:47We'll sing the words to your song

01:37:49So let yourself be Ezra

01:37:51You don't have to write what's wrong

01:37:53And in the morning can't you see

01:37:55The sun is coming up for you

01:37:57Your timing's never too soon

01:37:59Everybody needs a line

01:38:13So let yourself be Ezra

01:38:15We'll sing the words to your song

01:38:17So let yourself be Ezra

01:38:19You don't have to write what's wrong

01:38:21And in the morning can't you see

01:38:23The sun is coming up for you

01:38:25Your timing's never too soon

01:38:27Everybody needs a line

01:38:47So let yourself be Ezra

01:38:49We'll sing the words to your song

01:38:51So let yourself be Ezra

01:38:53You don't have to write what's wrong

01:38:55And in the morning can't you see

01:38:57The sun is coming up for you

01:38:59Your timing's never too soon

01:39:01Everybody needs a line

01:39:17So let yourself be Ezra

01:39:19You don't have to write what's wrong

01:39:21And in the morning can't you see

01:39:23The sun is coming up for you

01:39:25Your timing's never too soon

01:39:27Everybody needs a line

01:39:47So let yourself be Ezra

01:39:49We'll sing the words to your song

01:39:51So let yourself be Ezra

01:39:53You don't have to write what's wrong

01:39:55And in the morning can't you see

01:39:57The sun is coming up for you

01:39:59Your timing's never too soon

01:40:01Everybody needs a line

01:40:03So let yourself be Ezra

01:40:05You don't have to write what's wrong

01:40:07And in the morning can't you see

01:40:09The sun is coming up for you

01:40:11Your timing's never too soon

01:40:13Everybody needs a line

01:40:15So let yourself be Ezra

01:40:17You don't have to write what's wrong

01:40:19And in the morning can't you see

01:40:21The sun is coming up for you

01:40:23Your timing's never too soon

01:40:25Everybody needs a line

01:40:27So let yourself be Ezra

01:40:29You don't have to write what's wrong

01:40:31And in the morning can't you see

01:40:33The sun is coming up for you

01:40:35Your timing's never too soon

01:40:37Everybody needs a line

01:40:39So let yourself be Ezra

01:40:41You don't have to write what's wrong

01:40:43And in the morning can't you see

01:40:45The sun is coming up for you

01:40:47Your timing's never too soon

01:40:49Everybody needs a line

01:40:51So let yourself be Ezra

01:40:53You don't have to write what's wrong

01:40:55And in the morning can't you see

01:40:57The sun is coming up for you

01:40:59Your timing's never too soon

01:41:01Everybody needs a line

01:41:03So let yourself be Ezra

01:41:05You don't have to write what's wrong

01:41:07And in the morning can't you see

01:41:09The sun is coming up for you

01:41:11Thanks for watching!

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