Qué Importa | Programa Completo 11/julio/2024
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00:00It's time to work, my dear Stacca, and not go to the billiards like you liked in high school.
00:06Let's see, let's see, let's see, you were never lazy.
00:08And I ask you, you were very lazy when you were young, congratulations.
00:12Our age has not taken it away from us, which is good,
00:16because there are still people who care very little about what people like Eduardo say,
00:20and he is still lazy and enjoying the dream, no matter what the calendar says.
00:24Check this out.
00:26Because people like to be locked up in their house.
00:28I'm very f***ing lazy.
00:30She even likes to walk in the street.
00:31I'm very f***ing lazy.
00:33I'm very lazy.
00:35Chimolela is my grandmother, right?
00:36Yes, I love the street.
00:38My husband doesn't give a f*** because I walk in the f***ing street.
00:41Look for me on my channel, Tito, as Princesa Morita, and I want a lot of views.
00:46Very good, very good.
00:47Very good, princess.
00:49But I missed you, my princess.
00:51I do like to be at home watching series and scratching them.
00:54And playing with your pocket watch and those things.
00:57Look, Princesa Morita, I have a cousin whose husband left her on the street,
01:01and she's not as happy as you are, really.
01:03Well done, princess, well done.
01:06Well, of course the husband is going to get angry all day on the street,
01:09and Princesa Morita came back without a penny.
01:12No, no.
01:13Hey, but let's see, Princesa Morita, how lazy are you?
01:17I mean, lazy as a congressman or lazy as a politician's answer in campaign?
01:22How lazy? That's what I want to know.
01:25I liked that, but well, a kiss.
01:28Pay attention.
01:29Right now?
01:30Pay attention.
01:31Right now?
01:32A kiss.
01:32Here?
01:33A glass of water and a drink of chela.
01:35You don't deny anyone, right?
01:37True, true.
01:38Under no circumstances, not even in the middle of the traffic of the big city.
01:42Look how generous.
01:53Wow.
01:57And they're both driving.
02:00No, no, wait a minute, the three of them driving.
02:02I mean, well, it's true, the two of them, because he was a passenger,
02:05but you know what?
02:06Nothing, nothing like the good citizens who share their drool with a stranger on a motorcycle.
02:11Well done.
02:12Well done, really.
02:13There's nothing wrong with that.
02:14That's exactly how love and herpes are spread.
02:18Yes, yes, yes, of course.
02:20Now, few people have that kind of luck.
02:23Normally, when a motorcyclist comes up to you like that,
02:26he doesn't ask for a drink of chela, he asks for the watch, the cell phone and the wallet.
02:30No.
02:31Yes, it's horrible.
02:32It's true.
02:33So, if it's a shared drinking,
02:36does that mean that you can't drink and drive?
02:39I think so.
02:40I mean, if you drink with others, there's no tossing.
02:42It's still illegal.
02:44If you drink with someone, it's with the officer, right?
02:46That's right, that's right.
02:49Cheers, my girl.
02:50And now, let's go with you, Gabriela Graff.
02:53Thank you.
02:55Today, we're going to talk about Bad Bunny,
02:57who tried to strip one of the dancers who accompanied him on stage.
03:03The moment was uncomfortable,
03:06but at least the poor girl was saved from being torn from behind.
03:10What?
03:11Let's see.
03:18She hit him!
03:20Wow!
03:21What elasticity!
03:22How are you?
03:24Let's see, let's see.
03:25Question.
03:26Do you think Titi asked him if that was one of his girlfriends?
03:30A lot of girlfriends, a lot of girlfriends.
03:32Hey, sorry.
03:33A question.
03:34Is that what's known as the beautiful velcro?
03:36I mean, the beautiful velcro.
03:37I don't know.
03:38But at least it was the socks.
03:40Because for a second, I thought,
03:42ouch, poor thing from Bad Bunny.
03:46Damn!
03:47Yes, how elastic and transparent.
03:50Look, do like dogs.
03:53Throw them water to see if they take off, right?
03:56Exactly.
03:57Wow, I'm impressed.
03:59Bad Bunny's weapon is so powerful
04:01that it is effective without even taking off.
04:04Wow!
04:05Correct!
04:06Bad Bunny!
04:08Well, but while some tear their socks,
04:12there are others who have their hearts torn.
04:15No!
04:16Oh, look at this poor man suffering.
04:26Entradísimo!
04:30And that's tequila.
04:32How cool to be like that in security,
04:34concert in the front row, right?
04:37And happy!
04:39Salud, hermano!
04:43Wow!
04:44Surprising, but what surprises me
04:46is not so much the feeling with which he sings,
04:49but that he has understood the lyrics.
04:51I mean, he's not the first person.
04:53Yes, no matter how hard I try, I don't understand it.
04:55I was also looking, I didn't understand anything,
04:57but this shows that Bad Bunny is not only the modern Mozart,
05:00he is also the José José of the 21st century.
05:03Very good, Bad Bunny.
05:05Very good, Bad Bunny.
05:07And of course he was a security guard,
05:10in himself to sing in front of everyone,
05:13to everyone.
05:15And with that feeling, Gabriel, yes.
05:18You know what?
05:19In fact, I thought it was a Christian concert,
05:21but then I put the audio and I heard it was Bad Bunny
05:23and I put it back in silence,
05:25because yes, I didn't understand anything.
05:27He is Bad Bunny's number one hater.
05:30He's too old, he doesn't understand the new music.
05:33The most heartbreaking thing was to see that man,
05:36it is even more to see this woman
05:38demand that she fulfill her paternity to Benito
05:41and that he ignores her,
05:44like any Luis Miguel.
05:46Oh no, what a horror, look at this.
05:48Here she is pregnant, but look at the message.
05:51Benito, do you remember me?
05:52We met nine months ago.
05:54And he showed it to her.
05:56And that's how Bad Bunny's face was.
06:01Well, look, you have to wait for him to be born
06:04and if he comes out with burnt maruchan hair,
06:07don't even do the paternity test,
06:09it's Bad Bunny, I mean.
06:11Exactly.
06:12And in fact, when he saw her,
06:14Bad Bunny, Benito,
06:15quickly made a mental memory.
06:17It will be Gabriela, Patricia, Nicole, Sofia
06:19or my first girlfriend from Kinder Maria.
06:21What will it be?
06:22He didn't remember.
06:23Look, very hater and he knows the lyrics.
06:26He knows the lyrics to Bad Bunny's song,
06:28which he doesn't like.
06:31And in fact, Bad Bunny is the father,
06:34but of reggaeton.
06:39I could do the same joke.
06:41We're on your camera, Chino, pay attention, please.
06:44I could do the same joke to Bad Bunny.
06:47What?
06:48My belly is normal.
06:49You could do the same joke to my belly?
06:51My belly is watered because it's pure shit.
06:55But you know what?
06:56The poor man even had vertigo.
06:58And not because of the height of the stage,
07:00he just got dizzy.
07:01He was like, oh my God.
07:03He got dizzy.
07:05Thank you very much, Gabriela Graus.
07:07Thank you.
07:09And now, TV has given us fun and entertainment
07:13throughout our lives.
07:15And what better way to thank TV
07:19than watching some of the most
07:21iconic moments of Mexican TV.
07:24It's not here yet.
07:25So tonight we present you a special call.
07:29As you saw in open TV,
07:30suffering moments of television
07:32that you may have seen,
07:33or maybe not,
07:34but we still select for your enjoyment at home.
07:37Here are the great classics of Mexican TV.
07:41And we start with the issue of the uneven floor
07:44that has been presenting itself in politics
07:46and in the lives of Mexicans for years.
07:49And if you don't remember,
07:51here we remind you.
07:53Look, look, the rain was so strong
07:56in this part of the city
07:58that for you to have an idea,
08:00look at this light pole.
08:03Ay, ay, ay.
08:08Yes, it's not...
08:14At that moment, there was an overflow.
08:18Our reporter fell at that moment.
08:20He fell.
08:21He fell, baby.
08:23Poor thing, poor thing,
08:25but as a tour guide at a forum.
08:26Because imagine watching that,
08:28being alive and being unable to laugh like this.
08:30Ha, ha, ha, ha.
08:31Te caíste.
08:32Ha, ha, ha.
08:33Oh.
08:34Eh, yo le sigo dando un 6 de calificación.
08:37Al clavado.
08:38Es que salpicó mucha agua.
08:39Ah, sí.
08:40Sí.
08:40Y le faltó forma.
08:41Pero bueno, eso que acaban de ver es la mejor recreación de
08:45la historia de la televisión mexicana del hundimiento del
08:48Titanic.
08:48Les quedo, mira, muah, chula.
08:50Padrísima.
08:51Pero les dio mucho al reportero porque ahora quien lo
08:54entreviste para un puesto de trabajo sabe que este güey va
08:57al fondo de la noticia.
08:59Exactly, and well, we have more, right?
09:02There you go, present one.
09:03There are unusual moments on TV,
09:06in the life of a reporter, but none better than this one.
09:09This guy documented a misfortune
09:12that ended up being for him, look.
09:13No, no, no.
09:14Around 3, 5 in the afternoon, a tree fell
09:18on the sidewalk on the right side.
09:21The authorities are already working here
09:24to remove the tree, and that car is affected.
09:29For the owner of the MXN3392 plate.
09:33Oh, damn, it's me.
09:37My car fell and...
09:40Look, since that day,
09:43since that day, he has never forgotten the old saying,
09:45this man who says,
09:46a tree that is born crooked is going to fall on my car,
09:49and it can't be.
09:52What a strange start to his career,
09:54Nacho Lozano had, right?
09:55And the worst thing is that,
09:57he hadn't turned off the parking meter.
10:01And then they put the spider and the tree.
10:04Exactly.
10:05You know what?
10:06I would have liked it more if when I saw the car,
10:08I said, no, we just washed it,
10:11how can it be, my God?
10:12Right?
10:14I mean, like, and now,
10:15now let's remember this great moment
10:17in which in the middle of the broadcast,
10:20a visitor, let's say,
10:22a visitor, let's say,
10:23stuck in Lolita Yala's throat with you,
10:26a woman named...
10:28Phil Barrera.
10:30...from Reynosa, Tamaulipas.
10:32Phil Barrera.
10:34Excuse me.
10:35Calm down, Lolita.
10:37What?
10:38Phil...
10:42Excuse me.
10:43Phil Barrera, my dear,
10:45customs officer and border protection of the United States,
10:48said that almost 100 kilos of methamphetamines
10:52were hidden.
10:57He's gone.
10:58I'm sorry.
10:59Bravo!
11:00Bravo!
11:01He's gone.
11:02He's gone.
11:03I love you.
11:04How can you forget when Lolita
11:05stunned her date with an exorcism
11:07and her TV show all at the same time?
11:10Very good.
11:11Now, it is said that up to this date,
11:13Phil Barrera has been a regular
11:15in the United States.
11:17Up to this date,
11:18Phil Barrera has nightmares when they say his name.
11:21Phil Barrera.
11:22What is it?
11:23What is it, man?
11:24It's horrible.
11:25The good thing is that after he managed to spit
11:27the rooster he had stuck there,
11:29he adopted it.
11:30Oh, yeah?
11:31Now it's his pet
11:32and his alarm clock in the morning.
11:34Exactly.
11:35Well, but this is like my grandmother always said.
11:38Son, if something is scratching your throat,
11:41ask your boyfriend to be more gentle, man.
11:43My grandmother was very rude.
11:45Very rude.
11:46That's what your grandmother said, man.
11:48What?
11:49That was terrible.
11:50You met her.
11:51It was terrible.
11:52And how to forget her.
11:53Now, we direct our cameras
11:54to an unforgettable moment
11:56in the history of our country.
11:58Mario Bezares and Paco Stanley
12:00in the post-pericazo chicken fight.
12:09The bag.
12:10The cocaine.
12:13What is that?
12:14He wants to kick her.
12:15No, no.
12:19That's terrible.
12:21What a shame.
12:23What a shame.
12:25Chicken fight.
12:27That's it.
12:28Distract him with whatever.
12:30Okay.
12:31How to forget that moment.
12:33Really, when his powder fell
12:35to bake his brain.
12:38In fact, Paco's specialty
12:40was that powder, I mean,
12:42to inflate the soufflé, right?
12:44That's why he used it.
12:45Exactly.
12:46I'm sure that moment stressed them out a lot.
12:49That's why they went for some tacos,
12:51to relax.
12:54In fact, you know what?
12:55That show was for the whole family.
12:58The whole family.
12:59I mean, they even brought the perico,
13:01as you just saw.
13:05By the way, I remembered a joke.
13:07Do you know why they call cocaine perico?
13:10Why?
13:11Because when you take it out, it flies.
13:15No, no.
13:16Do you know how to take the perico out of a pirate?
13:20How?
13:21You just turn it like this.
13:23Son of a...
13:24Okay.
13:25But anyway.
13:26Speaking of white products,
13:28let's remember now,
13:29affectionately,
13:30the delicious mayonnaise
13:32that our very dear uncle,
13:34Pedrito Sola,
13:35shoots at them.
13:36Some pieces of breaded chicken
13:38and the special touch
13:40is to put
13:41Macormi mayonnaise on it.
13:45Because...
13:46Oh, sorry.
13:47Hellman's.
13:48Hellman's.
13:49Hellman's.
13:50Besides being delicious,
13:51it naturally contains good fats,
13:53like omega-3,
13:54which help the body to develop.
13:56Yes, yes, yes.
13:57Yes, yes, yes.
13:58Yes, yes, yes.
13:59No way.
14:00Pedrito has always liked the brand.
14:02As long as he has mayonnaise on his face,
14:04he's happy.
14:05Exactly.
14:06Now, this is good advertising.
14:08Think about it.
14:09It's been broadcasted for years.
14:11In all of Mexico,
14:12everyone remembers it.
14:14And they didn't have to pay
14:15a single cent for the mayonnaise.
14:17And now everyone remembers the brand.
14:19Incredible.
14:20After seeing this,
14:21I don't feel so bad
14:22for having confused
14:23my wife's name
14:24with the stacca's.
14:27Really?
14:28That happened?
14:29That's horrible.
14:30But, well, poor Pedrito.
14:31I'm sure at that moment,
14:32with the fright,
14:33he even got bitter.
14:34The mayonnaise turned sour.
14:35Yes.
14:36Yes.
14:37But, well,
14:38this is the most fruitful moment
14:39in the career
14:40of our dear Belinda.
14:42In which Beli
14:43showed us
14:44that she not only has
14:45a great mental strength,
14:46she also has
14:47a great cranial strength.
14:49Go ahead, Beli.
14:50Finish with your ideas.
14:5120 seconds.
14:52Come on.
14:53No, no, no.
14:54No, Belinda.
14:55No, Belinda.
14:56No, Belinda.
14:57No, Belinda.
14:58No, Belinda.
14:59No, Belinda.
15:00That's horrible.
15:01You know what?
15:02It's good that it was an apple, Belinda,
15:03and that you didn't do the same
15:04with a chayote.
15:05I mean, really.
15:06Because if not,
15:07you wouldn't be here
15:08to tell it.
15:09That's good.
15:10Or with an avocado,
15:11because then the bone...
15:12Exactly.
15:13Or a coconut.
15:14And then...
15:15Well, what about a papaya?
15:16I mean, it would have been good, right?
15:17That's good.
15:18Yes, I would see it.
15:19And after that,
15:20it was when Beli
15:21decided that she wanted
15:22to have a relationship
15:23with Nodal.
15:24Now everything makes sense.
15:25Now I understand.
15:26I don't know,
15:27but I'm always going
15:28to get excited
15:29with that possibility
15:30of seeing Belinda
15:31hitting on some
15:32guys
15:33that she doesn't like.
15:34I don't know,
15:35but I'm always going
15:36to see her
15:37hitting on guys
15:38with whatever fruit
15:39she wants.
15:40Whatever she wants.
15:41Whatever she wants.
15:42But I have a question.
15:43So,
15:44is this how they do
15:45the apple gerber?
15:46Yes.
15:47Exactly.
15:48Exactly.
15:49Well,
15:50let's leave the violence
15:51against fruits
15:52and explore
15:53a mystical practice,
15:54yoga,
15:55which feeds,
15:56as you well know,
15:57the kundalini.
15:58And a well-fed one
15:59is the one
16:00of this conductor
16:01to whom
16:02the depths
16:03of his yoga practice
16:04have repercussions.
16:05Look.
16:06I close my legs
16:07and I go backwards
16:08calmly,
16:09breathing deeply,
16:10letting my anus
16:11have repercussions,
16:12letting my anus
16:13have repercussions
16:14in my soul
16:15when the anemic
16:16state
16:17is elevated.
16:18Where does it
16:19have repercussions?
16:20What a lapse.
16:21It's awful
16:22when things
16:23have repercussions
16:24there,
16:25especially
16:26the hammers.
16:27Well,
16:28now,
16:29you always
16:30ask me
16:31how I do
16:32yoga.
16:33Well,
16:34I have always
16:35asked myself
16:36if the point
16:37of light
16:38of this baby
16:39will be in his
16:40hemorrhoids.
16:41Why did he say that?
16:42I mean,
16:43I don't know
16:44when.
16:45I don't know
16:46why,
16:47but I suspect
16:48that this yoga
16:49master
16:50is Alejandro
16:51Fernandez's
16:52yoga master.
16:53But,
16:54well,
16:55the truth is
16:56that who
16:57needs yoga
16:58when good
16:59pork beans
17:00also have
17:01repercussions
17:02there and
17:03it's awful.
17:04It's awful.
17:05It's awful.
17:06It's awful.
17:07It's awful.
17:08It's awful.
17:09It's awful.
17:10It's awful.
17:11It's awful.
17:12It's awful.
17:13It's awful.
17:14It's awful.
17:15It's awful.
17:16It's awful.
17:17It's awful.
17:18It's awful.
17:19It's awful.
17:20It's awful.
17:21It's awful.
17:22It's awful.
17:23It's awful.
17:24It's awful.
17:25It's awful.
17:26It's awful.
17:27It's awful.
17:28It's awful.
17:29It's awful.
17:30It's awful.
17:31It's awful.
17:32So you don't have internet, brother?
17:35There are many Hans changed videos
17:37doing those
17:38on the internet.
17:39But well,
17:40I had never really heard
17:41about anyone
17:42who could run
17:43with their dick out
17:44after they had a drink.
17:45What skills
17:46does that boy have!
17:47How rude!
17:48And besides,
17:49the one that tells
17:50who you are
17:51to judge Hans,
17:52sir,
17:53love is love
17:54and flavor is flavor.
17:56Exactly.
17:57Now,
17:58thank goodness
17:59he drank
18:00instead of
18:01in his spirit, in his spirit, in his spirit, yes, yes, yes.
18:05And that was all in this show of...
18:08How did you see it on TV?
18:09Until the last moment...
18:11That shit we're doing now.
18:13I'm not going to say it again.
18:14I'm tired enough, please.
18:17And now...
18:19Now we go with my dear Tocayo, Eduardo Iniesta,
18:22who once again prepared a report
18:24that shows us how much he likes the...
18:27What?
18:27The...
18:28The other person's shame.
18:31Where are you taking us, Tocayo?
18:33Let's go.
18:36I'm Eduardo Iniesta,
18:38the lieutenant of what you have in front of you,
18:40the capataz of what you have behind you.
18:43And my mission is to stop the invasion of the clones.
18:47And I've discovered what their hideout is.
18:57♪♪
19:09¿Cuál es tu nombre?
19:10Ariana Grande.
19:11¿Ese es tu nombre, verdad?
19:13Sí.
19:14¿Por qué te pareces Ariana Grande?
19:16Porque soy imitador.
19:18¿Cómo puedo saber que no eres Ariana Grande?
19:22Lo puedes ver y te lo puedo demostrar.
19:24No me estás convenciendo.
19:26Una pregunta más.
19:28¿Cuál es tu fecha de nacimiento?
19:31El 3 de noviembre del 98.
19:33Vámonos.
19:34¡Eres un clone!
19:35¡Eres un clone!
19:36♪♪
19:47¿Cuál es tu nombre?
19:49Neftali Márquez.
19:52¿Por qué te pareces Amanda Miguel?
19:55Porque me encanta Amanda Miguel.
19:57Soy la imitadora de Amanda Miguel.
19:59¿Y tú, estúpido, quién eres?
20:03Las preguntas las hago yo.
20:05¿Eres Amanda Miguel o no?
20:07¿Qué te puedo decir?
20:10Soy Neftali Márquez.
20:11No me estás convenciendo.
20:13¿Cuál fue el verdadero y único amor de Amanda Miguel?
20:17Diego Verdaguer.
20:19No lo dijo con amor en los ojos.
20:21¡Es un clone!
20:22¡Es un clone!
20:23♪♪
20:33¿Cuál es tu nombre?
20:35Humberto.
20:37¿Por qué te pareces Alberto Aguilera Valadez?
20:39Porque lo imito.
20:41¿Por qué sabes quién es Alberto Aguilera Valadez
20:43si tú imitas a Juanga?
20:45Porque es su verdadero nombre, Alberto Aguilera.
20:48¿Pero tú imitas a Alberto o a Juanga?
20:50A Juan Gabriel.
20:52No sé si tú eres un fenómeno de resurrección
20:54o eres un clone.
20:56Que lo que se ve no se pregunta.
20:58Entonces, ¿estás admitiendo que eres un clone?
21:02Pues, imitador nada más.
21:04¿El almacén es un lugar?
21:06Es un lugar de ambiente
21:08donde todo es diferente.
21:11¡Te caché!
21:12Ese era Noah, Noah, no el almacén.
21:14Este es un clone.
21:15¡Vámonos!
21:16Por acá, cabrón.
21:22Misión cumplida.
21:24De esta forma quedó completamente desmantelada
21:26la guarida de los clones.
21:28¡Esto es mentira!
21:30¡Tú también eres un clone!
21:32¡Tú eres el clone de Lupillo Rivera!
21:34¡A nosotros no nos haces p******!
21:36¡No! ¡Tú eres un clone! ¡Vámonos!
21:40Muy bien.
21:42No sé, pero yo voy a soñar feo.
21:44Corren el rodeo, por favor.
21:46Y díganos,
21:48¿de qué se graduaba
21:50de preparándome para una noche de pasión?
21:54¿De secundaria todo porque te quedarás?
21:58¿O de maternal gas de payaso en semáforo?
22:02Ahorita lo averiguamos. Esto es Qué Importa.
22:09Antes del corte, le preguntamos,
22:11corran el video,
22:13¿de qué se graduaba
22:15de preparándome para una noche de pasión?
22:17¿De secundaria todo
22:19porque te quedarás?
22:21¿O de maternal gas de payaso
22:23en semáforo?
22:25Ojalá sea ese. Vengan ahí.
22:31¡Qué padre!
22:39¡Pobrecito!
22:41Y todos en su salón lo admiraban.
22:43Y justo ese día, a sus amigos se les cayó un ídolo.
22:45Sí, sí, sí.
22:47Y la verdad, ustedes lo disfrutaron.
22:49¡Qué vergüenza para el pobre niño! ¡Qué feo!
22:51Aquí hay demasiadas estacas,
22:53incluso para mí. ¡Adiós!
22:55¡Vámonos!