Taskmaster Australia S02E09 (2024)
Transcript
00:00Oh
00:30Hello and welcome to Taskmaster, I'm Tom Gleeson and once a week I disrobe my cloak,
00:43descend from my lair and loudly squawk, Caw Caw, Caw Caw, upon which a team of minions
00:49assemble around me and we make a rip snorter of a TV show and when does that weekly time
00:55arrive?
00:56Well the time is now.
01:03Competing for my affection are five comedians I've been nourishing with grains and nuts,
01:07chewed in my own mouth and spat into theirs.
01:10They are Ann Edmonds, Jenny Tian, Josh Thomas, Lloyd Langford and Will Anderson.
01:23And next to me, the man who went to Questacon for schoolies, it's Tom Cashman.
01:30What's our prize task please?
01:35Our prize task tonight, an object they should adapt into a movie.
01:39Alright, why not give the multi-billion dollar streaming industry a few freebies.
01:44Josh, what have you brought in?
01:46I brought in this little duck.
01:49A boy that came to my show gave it to the sound technician to give to me.
01:53I don't really know why he thought I wanted the little duck but I thought it was really
01:56sweet that he gave me the little duck and I just thought he'd be really excited right
02:00now to see his little duck on the telly.
02:03It's not an exact reaction to the prompt but you sort of, it's filmic.
02:07Okay, you're essentially wanting to make a film about a tiny duck just because you forgot
02:11to say thanks.
02:13This is for one person this bit.
02:16For one person.
02:17I've made one person's day and night.
02:19I feel okay about it.
02:20I agree with Josh.
02:21I think that duck could carry a film.
02:24Yeah.
02:25It's a shame it didn't carry this segment more.
02:29Lloyd, what did you bring in?
02:32I have brought in a bedside table.
02:40That's not it.
02:43A bedside table built by Jesus Christ.
02:49I have it on good authority that before he got mixed up in all that other stuff, he made
02:58this table and so I thought you could follow, you'd start off with Jesus, you know, young
03:04Jesus, teen Jesus.
03:07Teen Jesus?
03:08Teen Jesus, yeah.
03:09You'd make the table and then you'd follow the table from 2,000 years ago through all
03:14the different owners and their lives as well.
03:19It's just a bit tough because Jesus made the table and that feels like a real big peak
03:23and then what?
03:26Like that's the opening scene and it's like, that's like if Titanic sank in the first scene
03:32and then it's just shots of the ocean.
03:38Well, look.
03:42Anne.
03:43Yeah, so my film is kind of like a western and the main character is this.
03:48That's a Nokia.
03:51It used to be Top Dog in town and it's like gone away and now it's back to avenge, like
03:57take the iPhone out and reinstate itself as like the Top Dog in town.
04:02Yeah.
04:03There's a film called Nokia.
04:04Yeah, it's just Nokia, he's back.
04:08Beep, beep, beep.
04:10Will, what did you bring in?
04:12For a big movie you've got to leverage off some pre-existing IP.
04:15That's what you've got to do in this modern day times to get a movie made.
04:18So I kept it pretty simple.
04:20Barbie.
04:23Now, I know you hate a pun and this has not been good for me and none of these prize tasks
04:31have gone well so I thought I had to go an extra step.
04:35So I literally paid to get a movie poster commissioned to show you what the movie would
04:40look like.
04:48So this movie re-establishes the patriarchy.
04:53See, I'm into it.
04:55I love it.
04:56We're back!
04:58What a great film.
05:00Jenny.
05:02When you're thinking about all the things that get adapted these days, comic books are
05:05very popular and a lot of them are featuring a lot of different types of representation
05:09at the moment but there's still one type of representation that I've never seen on screen.
05:13So what I brought in is my own comic book that I've made myself using Microsoft Paint.
05:18It is Eczema Girl.
05:24Is this based on you?
05:26Yes.
05:28There was once a girl with eczema and she wished every day for her eczema to disappear
05:32until she realised it gave her the power of scratching dry surfaces.
05:38One day her town is invaded by a big moist villain, Gom Tleeson.
05:44And she's scared by his wetness, he's so undefeatable.
05:48And just when all hope is lost she remembers he has a dry sense of humour.
05:53And she defeats him with one big scratch and everyone cheers.
06:01That looks like the storyboards for one of Will's shit sketches.
06:07Oh mate, I would dream of that.
06:11Oh well I'd better hand out some scores.
06:13There's a lot there to play with.
06:15I'm not sure I could watch 2000 years of just a book being put down on a bedside table.
06:19So one point to Lloyd.
06:22I'll say two points for The Tiny Duck.
06:24You can't make a whole film about it just because Josh didn't say thank you.
06:26I'm so happy with that.
06:28And then I'll give three points to Jenny.
06:30I did like the concept.
06:32And four points, of course you know, there's a film about Tetris,
06:34you can have a film about Nokia.
06:36But five points for Will because we've re-established the patriarchy!
06:44All the good work done in the Barbie film has been undone.
06:48Alright, I'm itching for a task.
06:51I'm not as much as Jenny is, but let's do it all the same.
06:53Okay, it's time to see it be up and down with some Up or Down.
07:09Hey Jenny.
07:10Terrible.
07:11Hi Lloyd.
07:12How are you?
07:13I'm okay.
07:14That's good.
07:15This is fun.
07:16You think?
07:17I don't know!
07:18Oh, there's the task.
07:19Yep.
07:21Make this balloon hover between the flags the longest.
07:24Already I don't understand it, so that's a good start.
07:26In eight minutes, the crane will release the balloon.
07:29After the balloon is released, you may not touch it.
07:31Before the balloon is released, you may not remove it from the crane.
07:35Your attempt is over once the balloon floats above the flags.
07:38Or sinks below the lower flags.
07:40Longest balloon hover between the flags wins.
07:45Your time starts now.
07:47Make this balloon hover between the flags.
07:50What does that mean?
07:51Oh, there's...
07:57Okay, so we have to make the balloon float without going up or down.
08:00Pretty much.
08:01Well, this one seems pretty straightforward.
08:02Yeah.
08:03Should we get into it?
08:04Our first two hovercrafters are Josh and Lloyd.
08:06So it just needs to hover.
08:07So we want to keep it down.
08:09The only way to really do that is to weigh it down.
08:11But if you weigh it down too much, it'll just fall.
08:13Mm.
08:20Let's see what happens to the balloon now.
08:21See, it's still just floating straight up.
08:23We don't want that.
08:24We want it to dip.
08:29This is fun.
08:30Oh, this is fun.
08:31I like this, actually.
08:38It's still floating?
08:41I think two and a quarter marshmallows adhered to the skin of the balloon
08:46will keep it in between the flags.
08:48You happy with that?
08:49Yeah, I'm happy to release.
08:51Anything you'd like to do in the next four minutes?
08:53Yeah, eat some goddamn marshmallows.
08:59You better believe I'm going to start cranking my hog
09:02if that stays in between the flags.
09:04That's what this is for, right?
09:06How much now?
09:0712 seconds.
09:08Oh, that's quite soon.
09:09Yeah.
09:10Any last words?
09:12Come on.
09:14Well, it's attached to the claw, but the balloon isn't,
09:17so I feel like I'm winning in a really big way.
09:22No, that's not good at all.
09:27That wasn't good at all.
09:36That could have went better.
09:38That could have went better.
09:44Josh, do you feel better having seen Lloyd's effort?
09:47I watched that and I thought, I need to learn to believe in myself
09:50because sometimes things aren't as terrible as Lloyd.
09:57Welcome to my life.
10:01So, Lloyd, you went with two and a half marshmallows.
10:04If you had your time back, how many would you put on?
10:07Well, I went with two and a quarter.
10:09Oh.
10:10But two and a half sounds good.
10:13There are lots of tasks on this series
10:15where I think, I'm so glad that's over
10:18and I never, ever would like to think about it ever again.
10:22I'd be well up for doing that for a full day.
10:28Josh's balloon remains within the flags for 17.06 seconds.
10:32That's ages!
10:34That's great.
10:36Lloyd's balloon stayed between the flags for 1.24 seconds.
10:44Hey, you at home watching.
10:45Yeah, you.
10:46Sorry, but you've got a big chunk of food in your teeth.
10:49It's spinach or something. It's gross.
10:52We'll take a break and you go and get a toothpick
10:54and we'll see you after this.
11:04Welcome back to Taskmaster.
11:06We've just been doing a bit of television business stuff.
11:09All perfectly normal.
11:10Fill them in.
11:11Please, clap, man.
11:14Our contestants have eight minutes to do whatever they want
11:16to a helium balloon before it is released by the claw.
11:19They have to make it stay between the flags
11:21for as long as possible.
11:22So far, Josh has managed to make it hover for 17 seconds
11:25and Lloyd also did the task.
11:30Next task.
11:31Next up, it's him and her trying to Hindenburg.
11:35Here's Ann and Will.
11:37I mean, obviously the temptation is to suck the helium out of it
11:40and just talk like a chipmunk.
11:44Obviously.
11:45But I won't do that.
11:46If it was being held between two things,
11:48would you consider that hovering
11:50or would it be being held between two things?
11:52Do you think that would be hovering?
11:53I don't know.
11:54What's the definition of a hover?
11:56Up to the Taskmaster, I guess.
11:57That guy.
12:01Do you know what I mean?
12:04How many minutes do I have left, Tom?
12:06Two minutes left.
12:07I'm just going to load this up, I think, with a bit more...
12:13No, maybe not.
12:14Maybe that will balance out the rise.
12:1640 seconds.
12:17I'm going to tape this.
12:20Oh, f***.
12:23That's it, Tom.
12:25Boo.
12:27Well, it's hovering.
12:31Oh.
12:34I win.
12:35It's hovering.
12:36You feel good about this?
12:37I feel really good.
12:38You've locked into quite an effective strategy here.
12:40This is some of the best hovering I've seen.
12:43Can I touch it?
12:44No.
12:47Right.
12:48Before the balloon is released,
12:49you may not remove it from the crane.
12:51Now, did I remove it from the crane?
12:52Yeah.
12:53Let's do what we're all here to do.
13:01What a great task.
13:02Absolutely loved it.
13:03And I think it's one of your...
13:04I think it's one of the best ones in the show so far.
13:06What would you agree with that, Tom?
13:09I'm really being mocked by the fact that,
13:11well, this is hovering in front of me.
13:13This is some of the greatest hovering of all time.
13:16And I'm going to get nothing for this.
13:18I should be winning.
13:19Look at this.
13:20It's perfect.
13:24Thanks, Phil.
13:26Do you think I won that one?
13:28You don't think I won that one?
13:31You disqualified yourself.
13:33Well, thanks so much for having me.
13:34Oh, wonderful marshmallows.
13:36Don't they have a sensation?
13:38Is this still the helium?
13:39I don't think so.
13:45OK, so after Tom releases the balloon,
13:47you may not touch the balloon.
13:49Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:50So, why don't you touch the balloon?
13:52I just keep, like, undercutting myself, don't I?
13:55Like, I actually do a good job and then go,
13:57oh, let me see if I can wreck it.
14:00Can I say a theory?
14:01Yes.
14:02I think you wanted to talk like a chipmunk.
14:03I did.
14:04I can't.
14:05Like, perhaps consider for a moment that I am a comedian
14:08and there's a helium balloon.
14:10Like, I know we're on a show and it's a competition,
14:13but at the end of the day, I'm very, like, honest to my craft.
14:19I have to do the comedy that's in front of me.
14:22So, before the balloon is released,
14:24you may not remove it from the crane.
14:26So, what actually happened?
14:27I didn't really see.
14:28It came out when I was...
14:29Piddling.
14:30Piddling with it.
14:31And then you got to see just how beautifully it hovered
14:33after you failed.
14:34It was honestly the best thing I did on the entire show.
14:39Normally, if you're disqualified from something,
14:42you just leave in shame,
14:44but I couldn't look away from how well I'd done.
14:47It was, like, perfectly weighted.
14:49It was in the middle.
14:50It's probably still there.
14:52OK, one floater left.
14:54Will she sink or swim?
14:56If you want to stay in the lab and do the task well or poorly,
14:58it's Jenny Tien.
15:00Hey, this might be a really dumb question,
15:02but can't I just, like, tie the string to, like, a chair or something
15:05and that would still count as falling?
15:07All the information you need is in the task.
15:13Now, I've just got to not mess this up.
15:16I'm feeling quite good about this.
15:21What are you thinking?
15:22I'm thinking I'm really, really quite smart.
15:25Oh, really?
15:26Yeah.
15:27Maybe this task is too simple.
15:35Well, that's looking pretty good to me.
15:39All right.
15:40Anyone want some marshmallow?
15:41Do you like the pink ones better or the white ones better?
15:43They're the same to me.
15:44But, like, it's got a flavour.
15:46Marshmallow?
15:47Marshmallow's not a flavour, it's an object.
15:49You don't think these taste the same?
15:51I don't.
15:52I mean, sorry.
15:53Wait.
15:54You think these taste the same?
15:56How are you failing as you're succeeding?
16:00This is your best task yet?
16:02Soak it in.
16:09So, Jenny, you showed a genuine moment of out-of-the-box thinking
16:13followed by,
16:14Marshmallow's not a flavour, it's an object.
16:17I mean, I'm not going to lie,
16:19I just thought this task was so easy
16:23I was like, this isn't going to air because it's so easy.
16:25Everyone's obviously figured this out because it's so easy.
16:32I was like, there's got to be more to it.
16:35So then, yeah, I just started offering Tom marshmallows
16:38and doing other things because, frankly,
16:40I got bored waiting for it as well.
16:43It also does explain why Jenny came into my dressing room
16:45the other night and said,
16:46do you think there's a difference between pink marshmallows
16:48and white marshmallows?
16:50Well, what are the scores?
16:52Well, we left Jenny's balloon there overnight.
16:54It was hovering for 18 hours and 21 minutes.
17:02So what are the points for the task?
17:04Well, Will and Ann were DQ'd so they get zero,
17:06Lloyd gets three, Josh four,
17:07and Jenny takes the task with five points.
17:12Alright, and what about the episode scores so far?
17:15Well, with all the buoyancy of a beautiful red balloon,
17:17Jenny has floated to the top with eight points.
17:20OK.
17:22Give me another of your little goodies there, boy.
17:25It's our final team task of the season.
17:40Hello. Hi.
17:42What do you think about this choice? You look different.
17:44Let's have Tom. Let's have Tom have a look.
17:48Whoa! He looks dumb!
17:51Oh, my God, it's a working camera.
17:54And it's...it's already recording.
17:57Oh. Oh, OK.
17:59This is fun.
18:01Create an authentic and heartwarming family home video.
18:05Create an authentic and dysfunctional family home video.
18:09You must film the video on this camera.
18:11Most authentic family wins.
18:13You have 30 minutes. Your time starts now.
18:16We need to be, like, a family unit, the three of us.
18:19Yeah, I think so.
18:20Dysfunctional family is the key word here.
18:23Someone flies back from overseas for a family reunion.
18:26They were fighting in the military.
18:28Oh, whoa!
18:30I think Mummy's Got A Secret.
18:34OK, OK, Mummy's Got A Secret.
18:39And you've set up some genuine intrigue with Mummy's Got A Secret.
18:43Did you, when they read the task and they read theirs first
18:45and it said heartwarming family,
18:46did you think me and you had both f***ed it again?
18:48Yes. I thought you had reading problems.
18:50I thought they read it and I thought,
18:51oh, no, me and Anne did dysfunctional.
18:53Just to be clear, we want a heartwarming family story,
18:55and that's what we're going to get from the discount Wiggles.
18:58And we're also going to get a dysfunctional family story
19:00from the premium economy hoolie-doolies.
19:03But what I'm judging you by is how authentic they are.
19:06Who's up first?
19:07Let's begin with our heartwarming family.
19:09Here's Mother Jenny, Father Will and their beloved child Lloyd.
19:15Another Christmas without Arthur.
19:17Bloody Christmas day, love.
19:19Bloody merry bloody Christmas.
19:20It's been years and years since we've seen our son Lloyd.
19:24I miss him so much, darling.
19:26I don't know what my life is without him.
19:29Admit it, darling.
19:30He's probably dead.
19:32He's probably bloody dead.
19:35I didn't even get to hug him once in our entire lives.
19:39I never got to hug him.
19:40You don't bloody hug boys, love.
19:42I've always told you this.
19:43You feed them bloody meatballs and turnips
19:46and they grow up to be proper bloody men.
19:48You know, I don't know where you are in the world, my son.
19:51I just, I miss you so dearly and I just, I just,
19:55I wish you were home and I wish I could give you a hug.
19:59Darling, do you want to record a message for Lloyd as well?
20:03No.
20:04I don't bloody want to record a bloody message for Lloyd.
20:07Mum.
20:08I don't.
20:09Dad.
20:11Private Lloyd reporting for family reunion Christmas.
20:16CHEERING
20:18Is it me?
20:20It's son.
20:21Is it you?
20:23Oh, my God.
20:25Oh, my God.
20:27Oh, son.
20:29Son, I'm making bloody Christmas meatballs and turnips.
20:35It's your bloody favourite, son.
20:37It's my favourite.
20:38You've made it and I feel, I feel so emotional.
20:41I've been overseas on top secret duties for so long.
20:44What have you been doing?
20:46Well, I can't tell you everything.
20:48Tell us.
20:49Some of it is classified.
20:50Tell us what you've been doing.
20:52You can tell us anything, my boy.
20:54But, you know, Osama bin Laden.
20:56Yeah, of course.
20:59Oh, you did that.
21:01That was all me.
21:02You went and...
21:03I was part of the SEAL team.
21:07Oh, my God.
21:09Our boy, Lloyd.
21:10Yeah.
21:11My boy.
21:12I would not be more proud of my son.
21:14Keep it under your hat, though, cos it's, like, not...
21:16It's classified.
21:17Oh, my goodness.
21:18Son.
21:19Son.
21:20I am so...
21:24Come here.
21:26Oh, my God.
21:29We couldn't have hoped for a better person
21:32to kill Osama bin Laden.
21:34That's the first time Dad has touched me, not in violence.
21:47Lloyd, why did you want to make the story heart-warming
21:49by evoking the memory of 9-11 by mentioning...
21:53..mentioning Osama bin Laden?
21:54Was it necessary to drag that into a comedy show?
21:57The narrative was the father and the son, they'd never hugged.
22:00That was the story.
22:01So we were going to have this authentic Christmas reunion,
22:04they were going to hug for the first time,
22:06and Lloyd just thought the thing that might spur that hug
22:09would be finding out that your son had murdered Osama bin Laden.
22:13The hug that your character, Will, gave Lloyd,
22:16is that the hug that you would like to receive
22:18from your own father?
22:19Yes, and that's why it was so authentic, Tom.
22:22What do you think he might be thinking?
22:24He's probably watching now.
22:25He's not.
22:29So, Jenny, did you find it hard,
22:31because you make a lot of videos on TikTok,
22:33was it difficult making something that long and in landscape mode?
22:38I was, like, seeing it and then I saw the red button
22:41and then the graininess and I was like,
22:42oh, my God, it looks exactly like one of those TikTok filters.
22:49Alright, time for a short break.
22:50Go give your boy a hug, would you?
22:52It's not that hard.
22:53See you soon.
23:03Welcome back to Taskmaster,
23:04where we've all been having a little itch on Jenny's ex-mum.
23:09What else is happening?
23:10We're watching authentic family videos.
23:13So far, we've seen a heartwarming tribute to a soldier's return
23:16after slaying Osama bin Laden.
23:19Next up, it's the dysfunctional family.
23:21It's mother Anne and her only son, Josh.
23:26The thing is, it's just give me two more days
23:29and we can run away together.
23:31I know you're my boss and also my son's best friend's father,
23:36but I love you.
23:39I can't stay with Bruce. I can't.
23:43That time him and Josh auditioned for Australian Idol was...
23:50..the worst day of my life, the humiliation.
23:52I've never recovered.
23:54What?! Mum!
23:56Oh, here she goes. Look at her, look at her, look at her!
23:58Josh! Josh, sweetie!
24:00Tell them what you said.
24:01No.
24:02Australian Idol, you were wonderful.
24:05You were the best one there.
24:06I don't know why they didn't put you through, Josh.
24:09He's going to go viral.
24:10Yeah.
24:11Give me the camera, sweetheart.
24:13No.
24:14Give Mummy the camera. No.
24:16Give Mummy the camera.
24:18Give Mummy the camera!
24:20Give Mummy the camera!
24:24Give Mummy the camera!
24:26SHE SCREAMS
24:40I've killed my only son! I'd go to a million Australian Idol auditions if I could just
24:55have my boy back!
25:15It's just a lot to take in. I like the Blair Witch vibes, I think they're very good.
25:22So what was Mummy's little secret? Was it that you actually think your son was not a good singer, the murder or the affair?
25:29The affair was the main secret, but yes that also I think he's not a good singer and then obviously yes, I've killed him.
25:36Wait, you think that the affair is a worse secret than murdering me, Australia's sweetheart?
25:46Yes.
25:48What do you think about my tactic of mostly just putting Ann Edmonds in it?
25:52Oh, less Josh is always more enjoyable for me. I thought the performance, Ann, was very authentic.
25:57Thank you, I have wanted to kill people before.
26:01Feels like you didn't need to go too deep to find that emotion.
26:05No, yeah, I've definitely got a violent streak and I like to get it out. It was fun, I really enjoyed doing that.
26:13So I have to give out some scores. It's pretty easy, I mean I just love the chaotic energy of the premium economy hoolie doolies.
26:20I believed in Ann's performance.
26:24Are you saying you don't think I could kill Osama Bin Laden?
26:28No, well I think the hug at the end was very authentic but that was mostly due to the empty hole in the middle of Will Anderson's body that you're trying to fill.
26:36Well you could fill it with some points.
26:43I must say, they were very close. I think they were both great films. So it's going to be 5-5, 4-4-4.
26:48Lovely.
26:50Very close.
26:52OK, let's have another task.
26:54OK, for this next one we're off to the pub, or as I once heard the Taskmaster refer to it, under his breath, home.
27:01Hello.
27:11Hi Josh.
27:13Ooh, what have we got here then?
27:15Hi Ann.
27:16Hello.
27:17Is that an accent?
27:18Yep. Cockney British I think.
27:20What have we got here then? A few chips and a bit of a beer?
27:22Mm hmm.
27:23Wow.
27:26Win the pub quiz.
27:27Tom will ask 10 questions.
27:29You must write down each answer on your whiteboard within 30 seconds of Tom asking.
27:34No phones.
27:35Your time starts when Tom asks his first question.
27:41It's a bit warmer than I'd like but that's OK.
27:45A bit colder than I'd like so you know what?
27:47We've found a happy medium between.
27:50Ask away my friend.
27:55All right, well win a pub quiz sounds pretty easy.
27:58I guess it's, oh actually, was Lloyd missing?
28:01I didn't see Lloyd.
28:02Didn't see Lloyd in that one.
28:03Yeah, maybe it would help to see the task that Lloyd was given.
28:11Write the pub quiz for the other comedians.
28:13Your quiz must have 10 questions.
28:15Your quiz questions may not include any contestant's name.
28:18Tom will give your quiz to the other four contestants.
28:22Will Anderson must win the quiz.
28:24Danny Tian must come second.
28:26Josh Thomas must come third.
28:28Ann Edmonds must lose the quiz.
28:30I mean, that would be straightforward.
28:32If they end up in that order, you will get five points and they will get zero.
28:36If they come in any other order, they will get three points and you will get zero.
28:40You have 10 minutes.
28:41Your time starts now.
28:48So they all have to win the quiz in that order.
28:51Yep.
28:52And then Lloyd will get five.
28:53But if it's in any other order, the others get three.
28:56And Lloyd gets nothing.
28:57So it's all or nothing with this particular order for Lloyd.
29:00I feel like this task is impossible for me to win.
29:04I'm not knowing Jenny very well at all.
29:08I'm not knowing Josh well at all.
29:10I'm like not knowing Ann that well.
29:17Okay, well, I think we just need to see this one.
29:19Answering quiz questions as written by Lloyd Langford,
29:22here are Will, Jenny, Josh and Ann.
29:24Ready for your first question?
29:25Yeah.
29:26Yes, Tom.
29:27Which instrument did Miles Davis play?
29:30I'm going to go with piano.
29:31Okay.
29:32Trumpet.
29:33Ann wouldn't know that.
29:35I don't reckon.
29:36Sax.
29:37Will Anderson must win the quiz.
29:39What does he know about?
29:41I know where he lives.
29:42Question two.
29:43What day of the week is the Mullumbimby market on?
29:45What is that?
29:47There's some Saturday markets as well, but mostly it's on a Friday.
29:51He knows Tom Gleeson though, right?
29:53What is Tom Gleeson's wife's name?
29:58I've met her.
29:59This is going to be so rude.
30:01Ellie?
30:02I hope that's right.
30:03I really like her.
30:04I can see her face.
30:05I can see her.
30:06She's a really nice person.
30:07What an awful question.
30:09What is Tom Gleeson's waist size?
30:14Because Will knows about clothes.
30:15They're mates, right?
30:16You try on each other's trousers, messing around.
30:18So I'm going to say he's a 34-inch waist.
30:20OK.
30:24Right, who was the most streamed artist on Spotify in 2023?
30:31I can't simultaneously come up with a question that Will is going to know...
30:35Taylor Swift.
30:36..and isn't.
30:37Shaking it up.
30:38Jenny sort of does.
30:39Taylor Swift.
30:40And Josh might.
30:41Taylor Swift.
30:42And what decade was the Sydney Opera House built?
30:451920s.
30:46Who directed The Godfather?
30:49Francis Ford Coppola.
30:50I know something, see?
30:52What are the ingredients for Moscow Mule?
30:54Vodka, ginger beer and lime.
30:56What did Steve Jobs die of?
31:00I don't have a clue.
31:02Pancreatic cancer.
31:04Disease.
31:06I've got one question left, but we'll make it an interesting one.
31:10On 9-11, which of the planned targets wasn't hit?
31:15Pentagon?
31:16They hit the Pentagon.
31:17Google it. There was definitely one that wasn't hit.
31:19They got it.
31:20Oh, they did, yeah. Fair play.
31:23Your time's running out.
31:24It's too wishy-washy a question, isn't it?
31:26You can't change it now.
31:27Final question.
31:28On 9-11, which of the planned...
31:31Are you sure?
31:32On 9-11...
31:33No, no, no, babe, babe, babe, I'm going to stop you right there.
31:35We don't need to do this.
31:36On 9-11, which of the planned targets wasn't hit?
31:39Did you come up with this?
31:41If I was planning to take down America,
31:43that would have been the White House.
31:45That's what you would do.
31:46So I'm going to say President Bush.
31:48Stop judging me! I can see you judging me.
31:50It's a man.
31:52What could really shake America up, you know, at that time?
31:55They got him with a plane.
31:57But they didn't.
31:58No, they didn't. They didn't get him.
32:01Thank you, Tom.
32:03APPLAUSE
32:05That's such a hard thing to do.
32:08Lloyd, why do you keep dragging 9-11 into this comedy show?
32:12You keep dragging that misery
32:14right into the centre of this light-hearted show.
32:16Tell me the theories you're always saying at home.
32:19LAUGHTER
32:21APPLAUSE
32:24I wish I could say that those last two tusks
32:27were filmed close together and it was just in my mind,
32:30but that isn't true.
32:32LAUGHTER
32:33What I love is, like, finally the revelation
32:36of what the theme of the questions was,
32:39because on the day I was like,
32:41who came up with these questions?
32:43LAUGHTER
32:45What moron!
32:47So, did Lloyd achieve his goal?
32:50No, I know I didn't.
32:52OK.
32:53So just a reminder of the rankings we were looking for.
32:56So we were looking for Will to win, Jenny to come second,
32:59Josh to come third and Anne to come fourth.
33:01Lloyd, back yourself, like ISIS.
33:03LAUGHTER
33:05LAUGHTER
33:09OK, so what order did they actually get?
33:12Jenny got two questions correct.
33:14Will and Anne both got four questions correct.
33:16And Josh was the winner of the quiz with five points.
33:19APPLAUSE
33:20Well done, Josh.
33:22So what are the scores?
33:23Lloyd was unsuccessful, so that means three points for Anne,
33:26Jenny, Josh and Will.
33:28APPLAUSE
33:32Time for some ads.
33:33See if you can guess how many times Anne tries
33:35to casually drop my wife's actual name into conversation
33:38over the next five minutes.
33:39See you back here soon.
33:41Love you, Ellen.
33:42APPLAUSE
33:51Welcome back to Taskmaster.
33:52And we're nearly at the end of our penultimate episode
33:55of season two.
33:56And I still won't let this joker next to me look me in the eye.
34:00Nor should you.
34:02Call us academics because we're about to engage in a peer review.
34:19Hi, Jenny.
34:20Hey, Tom.
34:21Oh.
34:22Hello.
34:23Hi, Lloyd.
34:24Hello.
34:25What are you doing lurking around the corridors?
34:27I think there's something in your locker.
34:29Oh, no.
34:30No, I have a locker here.
34:34Oh, God!
34:41Was that supposed to be scary?
34:44Ew!
34:45That's a bit wrong, isn't it?
34:50Make a surprising appearance.
34:52Most surprising appearance wins.
34:54You have until the studio record of episode nine.
34:57Your time starts...
34:59now.
35:00Where?
35:01Up to you.
35:03What?
35:04You mean I've got, like, days?
35:06OK.
35:07Weeks.
35:08Something to think about.
35:10Yeah.
35:11Thanks, Lloyd.
35:12Thank you.
35:16Jenny, I think it's a special skill to be confused
35:18by such a simple task.
35:21Is it that simple?
35:23Yeah.
35:24I don't think it was...
35:25Surely other people were confused.
35:27No, we just...
35:28OK, that's...
35:29We literally just watched footage of all of them not being confused.
35:32Even me.
35:34It was just a bit of humble homework, wasn't it?
35:36A bit of a homework task.
35:38That's right.
35:39It's up to them where or when they appear
35:40and how they capture that appearance.
35:41OK.
35:42Who's first?
35:43He may be a catch, but can he catch us off guard?
35:45It's Josh Thomas.
35:46I could do it to Anne when she knows this challenge.
35:48I could be in there.
35:50Could you fit in there?
35:59LAUGHTER
36:04It doesn't feel good.
36:08Hi, Anne.
36:09Hi, Tom.
36:10What are you doing lurking around the corridor?
36:12There's something in your locker right here.
36:14Ooh!
36:15What is it?
36:18Ew!
36:19That's a bit wrong, isn't it?
36:21Is that surprising?
36:22It was a bit, but did you expect me to have more of a reaction than that?
36:25Maybe.
36:26Do you want me to do it again?
36:27No, no.
36:28Ah!
36:29No, do it again.
36:33Ooh!
36:37That was good.
36:38It really terrified me.
36:43That was very good.
36:45That was great.
36:47My finger was bleeding.
36:49I showed you after.
36:50I was in the locker looking, I was holding the door
36:52and I was watching blood come out of my finger
36:55and then she said, should I do it again?
36:57And I thought, I'm not going to make it.
37:01Yeah, I think it was a very effective surprise.
37:03I was very surprised that you could fit in there.
37:06They're very small lockers.
37:08I mean, it got a great result, though,
37:09so you must be happy with that.
37:10I'm happy, yeah.
37:11That's a good, nice, solid start.
37:15Another, please.
37:16Hopefully she doesn't knock her own socks off
37:18because not wearing socks can exacerbate eczema.
37:20It's Jenny Tian.
37:22OK, so I am currently dressed as Lloyd Langford.
37:25So I'm currently in Anne Edmonds' field outfit
37:30and I'm Welsh and I'm going to give him a surprise appearance.
37:35I am currently in Josh Thomas' outfit
37:39and I'm going to surprise him.
37:41I am now in Will Anderson's outfit
37:44and I'm going to surprise him.
37:47He's eaten, like, half the marshmallows in this.
37:52Oh, my goodness.
37:57Oh, no, why?
37:59Why?
38:16Oh, hello, how are you?
38:22Why are you dressing like me?
38:25You look good in that.
38:27That's very naughty.
38:29Are you in my outfit?
38:30Jenny, where did you get it from?
38:32You're a psycho.
38:33Get out of here!
38:35Oh, it's for the TikTok.
38:37No, it's for episode nine, surprise appearance.
38:41Oh, it's for the show!
38:48Did it feel good to finally film something properly?
38:53Yeah.
38:54Feel like you're back to normal now?
38:55Yeah, 100%, yes.
38:56OK, well, I think that was pretty effective.
38:58Got some great frights there.
39:00Who's next?
39:01Will she take us aback or bring herself to the front?
39:03It's Anne Edmonds.
39:05The human behaviour expert says it's one of the biggest signs
39:08you're micro-cheating on your partner.
39:10She says hiding interactions with a colleague is also a red flag
39:14because it can erode trust in your personal relationship.
39:17This behaviour expert obviously never been asked
39:19for an after-work drink, that's what's happened here.
39:21So the extra froth on my latte, that means nothing?
39:24Oh, wow.
39:25No, that's just...
39:26That's from the barista, I think that's got...
39:28You might be having a micro-relationship
39:30with the barista.
39:36I must admit, for a while there I was thinking,
39:38why are you making me watch the project?
39:40It's a wonderful show on this very network.
39:43Um, no, um...
39:47Wait, did that go to air?
39:49Yeah.
39:50Did people see it when it went live today?
39:51No, I don't think so, we missed it.
39:53Nobody messaged you or anything?
39:54No, just, that's...
39:58I might give you an idea of ratings.
40:02OK, one more.
40:03Will this stunner have a shocker or will he stun and shock us?
40:06It's Lloyd Langford.
40:13Oh!
40:20Oh!
40:31So that was at the Adelaide Fringe.
40:33I'd just come off stage, you gave me a bit of a fright.
40:37I'd been crouched down in that box
40:40that I found out was full of mouse shit.
40:44With an air horn and a wig on,
40:46and then Tommy Little was backstage and was like,
40:49take your shirt off.
40:52And I was like...
40:53Which, by the way, is what Tommy Little says to everyone backstage.
40:59It's a bit tricky for me.
41:00Now it's hard to judge,
41:01cos for me that was a visceral reaction.
41:03I thought I was about to die,
41:04I thought someone was going to jump up and, like, stab me
41:06and just, as I was dying, just whisper into my ear,
41:09you're not Greg Davies.
41:11Oh, you're not?
41:12Oh, I've been killed by a nerd!
41:15What's Reddit going to think?
41:18OK, well, we've got one more surprising appearance still to come,
41:22but who will it be?
41:23I can't think of something that would be easier to deduce.
41:27Come back after these advertisements to find out.
41:39Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster.
41:41Lester Ton, catch the people up.
41:43Our comedians had more than a month
41:44to make a surprising appearance.
41:46So far, Josh climbed out of a locker and went on the project,
41:49Jenny did some TikTok-y stuff,
41:51and Lloyd got in a dumpster.
41:54We have one last comedian left,
41:55and when we asked him before the show
41:57where his surprising appearance footage was,
41:59he said he'd already sent it,
42:01and we just needed to take a closer look.
42:03So let's take a closer look.
42:05Here is Will Anderson.
42:07LAUGHTER
42:11HE WHINES
42:22I could be in there.
42:24Could you fit in there?
42:27LAUGHTER
42:37That's OK.
42:42APPLAUSE
42:48So how did you get yourself into all those positions?
42:51Well, Jenny's surprise to me only happened today,
42:54so luckily I was already in that one.
42:57Oh, so your justification was you were in that one.
43:00Yeah, that was fine.
43:01But the rest of them, it was a lot of planning.
43:04One of them I had to travel back in time for.
43:07Well, I have to score these, don't I?
43:09You do. Most surprising wins.
43:11OK. Well, I found Josh's the least surprising.
43:13OK.
43:14Just because he jumped out of a locker he was standing at
43:16when you handed out the task.
43:18Two points to Lloyd,
43:19because I didn't find watching it surprising
43:21because I knew what was going to happen.
43:23LAUGHTER
43:26I was like, here we go.
43:28Anne's going to get three points.
43:30It was very surprising,
43:31but the fact that I keep watching the project
43:33was even more surprising.
43:35Four points to Jenny,
43:36mostly because it's going to be a great TikTok video
43:38that's going to go viral and put this show on the map.
43:42But five points to Will Anderson,
43:44because I was genuinely surprised at the effort he went to.
43:47APPLAUSE
43:50OK. Now, how are those episode scores going?
43:53Continuing to appear at the top,
43:55it's Jenny in the lead on 19 points.
43:57CHEERING
44:00All right.
44:01Get up on that stage for our final task of the show.
44:04CHEERING
44:08All right, we've got some thongs and some barbecues.
44:11This looks like some good old ochre fun.
44:13Who's reading the task?
44:15Lloyd, if I could ask you to read this.
44:17Toss the most thongs with the tongs onto your barbecue.
44:21If at any point a golden thong is tossed with tongs
44:25onto another barbecue,
44:27the thongs remaining on that barbecue will be cleared.
44:30If you touch a thong with your hand at any point,
44:33you are disqualified.
44:35All tossing must be done from your spot
44:37and you may not move your spot or your barbecue,
44:41especially you, Anne.
44:44Most thongs remaining on a barbecue after 150 seconds wins.
44:48Your time starts now.
44:50WHISTLE BLOWS
44:52CHEERING
44:57WHISTLE BLOWS
45:03CHEERING
45:06WHISTLE BLOWS
45:14WHISTLE BLOWS
45:16CHEERING
45:22Wait! Wait!
45:25Wait! What?
45:34CHEERING
45:36Can I get my... Can I get these from here?
45:38Can I get these?
45:40Yes, yes.
45:43CHEERING
45:50WHISTLE BLOWS
45:52Why?
45:54You're touching them with your hands.
45:56I thought we weren't allowed to touch them when we threw them.
46:01AUDIENCE GROANS
46:0630 seconds remaining.
46:1410, 9, 8, 7,
46:196, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
46:25WHISTLE BLOWS
46:27CHEERING
46:31All right, time for a break.
46:33We'll see you soon with the final scores.
46:35CHEERING
46:43Welcome back. Did you miss us?
46:45All right, Squire, what's happening?
46:47We're throwing some thongs with some tongs onto some barbecues
46:50and we're about to find out how each of our contestants did.
46:53OK. We know how one of our contestants did.
46:56Thanks, guys. Thank you.
46:58OK, so how many thongs were thrown?
47:01So I can confirm Josh had 16 thongs
47:03but he touched way more, so that's irrelevant.
47:06Will had five thongs on his barbecue
47:09and Lloyd and Jenny all had nine thongs on their barbecue.
47:13Wow.
47:17They each get five points. Will gets two and zero for Josh.
47:20But what does that mean if we don't know our episode winner? Tell us.
47:24Turning Will into Ill by picking up the W this episode,
47:27it's Jenny Tian on 24 points.
47:29CHEERING
47:31Congratulations, Jenny.
47:33Go back up on stage and get ready to appear excited to get your crack.
47:38But what does that do to our scores overall for the whole season?
47:42Josh, Jenny and Will are trailing,
47:44but out in front there's going to be an interesting ride home.
47:46Lloyd is on 142 points and is out in front with 144.
47:50CHEERING
47:52OK.
47:54That's it for our second-to-last episode of our season
47:58where, as always, we have learnt some things.
48:00We learnt Mummy's secret and it was a doozy.
48:04Lloyd has zero remorse when it comes to getting a laugh
48:07out of a historical tragedy.
48:09But most of all, we learnt that Jenny was the winner of our episode.
48:13Join us again next week for our final episode.
48:16Goodnight.
48:32Welcome to the grand finale of Taskmaster Australia Season 2.
48:36By the end of this show, we will have a series champion.
48:40You don't even have a dad!
48:42I'm not going to hurt you. I'm working so hard.
48:44Is he Swedish?
48:46I feel despondent. I've got to go big.
48:48There we go.
48:52What on earth was that?